Work Text:
Have school days always felt this long? Usually, Miyano is busy with classes and disciplinary committee work, not to mention the lunch breaks he spends with Sasaki always just seem to fly by. So, why do the days suddenly feel so long when there isn’t a lot of difference to his usual routine?
With exams only a few weeks away, Miyano has spent a significant amount of his free time studying. It’s only his second year in high school, but he’s aware that keeping up his studies now will make his third year that much easier, so he doesn’t end up struggling or cracking when it comes to all the things he has to do in his third year.
And yet, no matter how much he studies, there always seems to be a significant portion of his day that he just can’t fill - not even with BL.
Lunch break is definitely one of those times. Even before his meetings with Sasaki, the 40-minute break never felt like quite enough time to catch up with his friends and eat, especially on the days Kuresawa found an excuse to start telling yet another story about his girlfriend. Though Miyano is pretty good at just focusing on his lunch and still catching the main details if it happens to be a new one. For other stories, the ones that come up all the time, he doesn’t even bother listening anymore.
But these days, when Miyano finishes his food, the break just seems to stretch ahead of him. Even with Kuresawa’s exhausting talks, the hands on the clock just don’t move as fast as they used to.
“Are you even listening?” Tashiro’s hand, suddenly moving in front of Miyano’s face, pulls him out of his thoughts, transports Miyano back into the classroom where, to his dismay, only a couple of minutes have passed since he checked the clock.
“S-sorry, what did you say?”
“I was asking if you’d let me copy your homework. Break’s almost over, but I think I can still make it.”
Lies. Another quick glimpse at the clock tells Miyano it’s still long 25 minutes until their next class. He nods anyway and hands his notebook to Tashiro. “You should really do it yourself, though…”
“I’m just no good with English,” Tashiro sighs. “It’s got all those weird rules and so many words that don’t make any sense.”
“They’d make sense if you’d bother learning them when the teacher tells us to,” Kuresawa throws in matter-of-factly, earning himself a glare from Tashiro.
“They just don’t stick,” Tashiro whines. “We can’t all be as good as our senpai.”
“They got this good by studying.”
The image of Sasaki flipping through the vocabulary cards he got from Hirano comes unbiddenly to Miyano’s mind. There is something about the face Sasaki makes when he is studying, the focus with which he dedicates himself to it once he really sets his mind to it. Something that has distracted Miyano more than once from his own studies just to steal quick glances at his boyfriend.
The voices around him start to fade a little when Miyano’s thoughts slip to the study session they would usually have after school. While math, of all things, isn’t something Miyano enjoys, it at least gives him a reason to go to Sasaki’s house and spend the afternoon together.
“At least I pay attention to when we’re talking!” Tashiro waves his hand in front of Miyano again. “What’s wrong with you this week, Miyano? You keep checking the clock.”
“N-nothing!” Miyano quickly averts his gaze, still 10 minutes to go. “A-are you done copying?”
“Ages ago. Are you getting sick?”
“I’m fine, I promise.”
“If you say so…”
“Give it up, Tashiro,” Kuresawa says while closing his bento. “Sasaki-senpai is studying for his entrance exams.”
“That has nothing to do with it!” Miyano protests, trying to make his so-called friends understand just how wrong they are to assume that this is the reason he is a little distracted right now. It’s no problem that they can’t see each other for a week, so Sasaki can double down on his studies. What kind of boyfriend would Miyano be if he didn’t support him in that and complained that they can’t meet up at lunch and after school like they usually would?
“Oh, so he misses him so much he is staring holes into the wall, got it.” It only takes a second for Tashiro’s hand to land on Miyano’s back in an encouraging pat. “Hang in there, Miyano.”
In moments like this, Miyano wishes the ground would open up and swallow him whole. Disappointingly, just like in his first year, when Sasaki happened to catch him listening to the drama CD in the hallway, nothing happens, and he is forced to deal with the embarrassment here and now.
“Shut up,” Miyano finally manages to groan when way too much time has passed for it to leave any kind of impression. All it does is make him look more pathetic.
“When are his exams?” Kuresawa asks, seemingly unwilling to let the topic go just yet. Most likely because of the rapid typing his hands have been doing since the conversation shifted to Miyano’s absentmindedness.
Before Miyano can answer, though, the bell finally rings, announcing the end of the seemingly infinite lunch break.
Not that the end of their day feels a lot closer with it, though. English isn’t a subject Miyano struggles with, unlike math, so the lesson focusing on repetition leaves his mind plenty of time to wander.
While they can’t meet right now, Sasaki has been diligently texting Miyano in the evenings and during study breaks. Most of the time, the messages are short, just a small complaint about his head feeling like it will burst, or sometimes a picture of a snack he prepared that ended up looking especially good. They are sweet nothings, but Miyano can feel his heart skip a beat every time his phone vibrates when it gets near the time Sasaki takes a break.
Like now.
Miyano feels the small vibration coming from his bag, but resists the urge to pull out his phone. The risk of being caught by the teacher and having his phone confiscated is just too high.
As soon as the bell rings, though, his hand shoots into his bag, fishing for the elusive device.
Sasaki: <How is school going?>
Miyano can’t help smiling a little at the sentence, feels something in his chest tighten when he imagines Sasaki sitting at his table, typing it despite being surrounded by books.
Miyano: <It’s fine. We just had a revision lesson for English. Are your studies going well?>
If Miyano had a smartphone, they could send shorter messages on line. But with his flip phone, they are limited to using emails or calling each other. He doesn’t mind, but sometimes, when calling isn’t an option, like now, Miyano would prefer to be able to use a messenger. It looks a lot more convenient when Kuresawa uses it with his girlfriend.
Sasaki: <Can’t wait for it to be over and see you again.>
They had decided to only meet on Monday to allow Sasaki to rest after the gruesome number of tests he’d have to go through on the weekend. It had taken some convincing, with Sasaki insisting that seeing Miyano would be the best way for him to relax, but they finally agreed to meet on Monday after school since Miyano has no club activities that day and would be done early.
Miyano would be lying if he said he didn’t regret insisting on the extra day right about now, though. While he isn’t ready to admit it to his friends, Sasaki’s absence in his daily routine might be just a little more distracting than he anticipated. It shouldn’t be, seeing that before they started dating, they sometimes didn’t see each other for days and rarely ever over the holidays, and it was fine. Sasaki’s absence, while felt, didn’t leave this large gap in Miyano’s day then.
Now, though, the thought of not seeing Sasaki for another four days leaves Miyano feeling strangely unsettled and empty. Something shifted when he finally became aware of his feelings, of just how much he enjoyed being around Sasaki. With it only having been a couple of weeks now, Miyano wonders just how much bigger Sasaki’s presence in his life will be in the future, how much more he will miss him going forward.
Miyano: <I look forward to it, too.>
He can feel the blood rush to his cheeks when he sends the message. Telling Sasaki won’t distract him from his studies, right? Miyano would never forgive himself if anything he does ruins Sasaki’s chances for his future. He can hold out for a few more days if it means Sasaki can do well on his exams. Sasaki has waited for Miyano to answer him for over six months, after all. Surely waiting four days to see Sasaki won’t be an issue.
At least that’s what Miyano tells himself when he lets his phone slide back into his bag after Sasaki goes back to studying.
Now, if the clock hanging above the blackboard would only move a little faster.