Chapter Text
Chu Wanning stared in the copper mirror for over a minute, and pinched his cheek. Then, he rolled up his sleeve to pinch his upper arm. Finally, exasperated, he rolled off one side of his robes, exposing his torso, and he gave one final pinch– to his midsection.
Was there more– ahem– give than there was before?
His toned body, still in stellar shape of course, had a bit of an extra layer coating it. But to Chu Wanning, all he could feel was disgusted with himself.
Embarrassing. Shameless.
How could he let this happen? Had he not been training and practicing as hard? Or… He couldn't tell which was worse. Was his age finally beginning to show? He swallowed dryly. It had only been a few months since he had awoken after 5 years… Somehow that must have taken a toll on his body, he tried to convince himself.
Chu Wanning hurriedly fled the sight in the mirror; with his back to it, he began bundling his robes back up. In the middle of tying his inner robe, he heard a knock on the door to the Red Lotus Pavillion, gentle but loud.
"Shizun?"
Chu Wanning cleared his throat. "One minute!"
Mo Ran waited patiently outside until Chu Wanning was finished with whatever he was doing. When Chu Wanning finally let him in, he watched his disciple's neutral face begin to beam, deep dimples forming.
"I've got lunch for us, Shizun. We hadn't seen you at all today, so I figured you were busy and would rather take it here."
"Mn."
Chu Wanning was not busy. He felt a redness creep onto his ears at the discovery he had made earlier. Could Mo Ran tell? Could he see it?
Mo Ran placed the two heaping trays on the only clear spots he could find available, before arranging the bits of wood, wire, and other materials on the table to create room for two. While Mo Ran was arranging the dishes, Chu Wanning stared at what he had brought today… Mostly greasy dishes– Sichuan dishes such as glistening, tender yet crispy twice-cooked pork with cabbage; mapo tofu made with beef swimming in its thin, oily red sauce; sitting alongside a dish that stood out due its contrast– the milder Hainanese chicken rice paired with cucumber.
Chu Wanning felt his mouth water a bit, before scolding himself internally.
Mo Ran of the past would have arranged all the mild, "cleaner" dishes for Chu Wanning and given himself all the others, however, as of late he has been ensuring his Shizun has a balanced diet (without telling him of course, his Shizun has such a thin face he'd never be able to eat together with him again). Mo Ran peacefully finished laying out the dishes, and pulled out Chu Wanning's chair, gesturing to it.
This snapped Chu Wanning out of his trance. "I'm not having lunch today," he said quickly.
"Wh-" He scrunched his eyebrows. "Why? Shizun needs his strength. It's not good to miss meals, Shizun already hasn't had breakfast!"
"I think I will meditate today, better to do so on an empty stoma-"
"That's not true–" Mo Ran bit his lip, remembering he should instead point toward his own pitifulness if he wanted his Shizun to take care of himself. "But Shizun… This disciple made all these dishes for us both… It's so hard for me to eat by myself, when everyone else has already eaten! Also, what could I do with these dishes, I couldn't throw them away?"
Chu Wanning imagined Mo Ran handmaking all these dishes, just for the two of them. He then considered Mo Ran's predicament, then decided, "Fine. This teacher will eat with you, but," he pushed the Hainanese chicken rice closer to his side of the table, "will only be eating this". He lifted his head, feeling somewhat proud.
Mo Ran thought his Shizun was just being picky and somewhat difficult, as he is every other morning. His dimpled smile returned once they started eating. Mo Ran happily ate from all the dishes on the dining table, and Chu Wanning stoically ate from his.
Chu Wanning enjoyed it, of course, gentle broth soothing his insides, and chicken pulling apart easily in his mouth. But… He realized as he finished his dish– without a grain of rice left on his plate– that he was still hungry. And while it was delicious, he couldn't help but gently crave the other, oily, dishes (that he hadn't realized he'd gotten much more used to in recent times). Mo Ran picked up on this stiff, cat-like stare of his Shizun's, directed not at him but at the dishes he was eating from. So, he suddenly leaned back, cradling his stomach. "Ah Shizun, this disciple is so incompetent. I had already eaten breakfast not long before now, yet prepared this much for myself. Could Shizun help me?" He said with a feigned whine.
"Hm." Chu Wanning's tongue flitted out to lick his bottom lip. "No thank you."
Mo Ran looked at him again with soft, wide eyes.
Chu Wanning faltered, "You had said it would go to waste earlier… It…" He looked back at the table, eyes slowly rolling over the delicacies before him, handmade by his disciple who he felt so fondly for. "It would be shameful of me to not help you out," he decided.
Mo Ran quickly pushed the rest of the dishes closer to Chu Wanning, leaving one for himself that he continued to leisurely work on, in between using his chopsticks to help bring food onto Chu Wanning's plate. The meal progressed like so, Chu Wanning happily filling his stomach, and Mo Ran happily helping feed his Shizun, until he noticed Chu Wanning start to slow.
Chu Wanning had made his way through most of the food when he realized he still had his work cut out for him. Mo Ran was still chattering about some stupid situation ("yet it was so, so hilarious, Shizun!") that Xue Meng had gotten himself into the other day, while Chu Wanning discretely brought his slender fingers to the curve of his stomach. He pressed gently, past that soft layer, until the hardness of his abdomen prevented him from pressing even more, sending a small twinge of pain throughout his body. His breath hitched.
Disgusting. What had he been telling himself not even an hour ago? He hadn't even noticed the heaviness setting in his belly until it was too late, the damage having been done. Even with this heaviness, however, he couldn't help but sneak looks back at the table. There was so much, yet so little left…
Mo Ran saw this hesitance in his Shizun. He really had put away quite a bit… "Shizun, we are almost done."
"Hn... I know. I'm working on it." Chu Wanning extended his chopsticks toward another bit of rice.
"No, I mean, ahem, if Shizun fails to finish, it's okay!"
Chu Wanning glared at Mo Ran mid-bite. Fail?
"You insinuate your Shizun cannot succeed at such a simple task?" He snapped. Mo Ran may not have intended it, but his ego flared. This flare overrode whatever self-deprecating thoughts had been previously permeating his mind, and any leftover, nagging conscience he had left was reduced to saying I'm already here, may as well finish. He quickly ate, putting as much as he could between his chopsticks, then between his lips, and back to the bowl, refusing to look at Mo Ran all the while.
Mo Ran raised his hands in defeat, "Okay okay, Shizun is the greatest. Of course he can do this."
Mo Ran stood nonchalantly, but his narrowed eyes practically wore through Chu Wanning's filled cheeks and soft, thin lips, glistening with oil. This entire meal, he'd tried not eyeing his Shizun, but it was so difficult when he was so enticingly unaware of his own beauty. He pushed it down the entire time– only staring when Chu Wanning was absorbed in the plates before him– while he thinly veiled his own lust with mindless chatter.
He made his way to Chu Wanning's side.
Chu Wanning still refused to look up at him, swallowing, until a large, tanned hand bearing chopsticks lifted itself into his vision. "Hmph?" He made a noise as they were brought to his lips, tasting the savory pork. Mo Ran had one hand on the back of his chair, leaning in front of Chu Wanning as he did so, face only a foot away from his own. There was something in his eyes that contrasted against the casual smile he was wearing, but Chu Wanning was much too flustered by his closeness and this bold gesture to figure out what it was.
"Shizun." Mo Ran breathed next to his left ear. Chu Wanning's ears instantly reddened as he pulled to the side, clutching the left side of his head.
"Let me help you."
Chu Wanning, alarmed, said through clenched teeth, "No. Need!" He really couldn't handle any more of this– both the food, and Mo Ran's sudden strangeness.
But all Mo Ran did was pick up another bite, this time of mapo tofu, and utter, "What did you say about it being 'such a simple task'?"
That shut him up again, and he pridefully (more aptly, obediently) took the last few bites into his mouth.
"That's better," Mo Ran said, less sweetly, more commandingly. Mo Ran was shameless– felt shameless– but once he had taken a step down this steep hill, there seemed to be no going back. Not when the one waiting at the bottom was his beloved Shizun.
Feeling even more shameless was Chu Wanning, who, even with his many layers of clothing, realized the curve of his stomach was more than just tangible, it was visible. Embarrassed, he shuffled his chair forward to hide Mo Ran from the obscene view of the swell of his stomach. However, that only served to bring him closer to Mo Ran's breath, making his eyes blow wide.
"That's it!" Chu Wanning huffed. "Nothing more from you!" He didn't know how he'd gone this far without snapping, but as soon as the words were shouted, Mo Ran was already around the table, tidying up. Good thing, Chu Wanning thought, as he brought a hand up to his lips to muffle a gurgle that emanated from his throat.
Whatever predatory vibe from earlier disappeared from Mo Ran completely. "Thank you, Shizun." He said sheepishly. "I'm happy to see Shizun partake in my cooking, especially after so long without him…"
Perhaps it was because Chu Wanning was too flustered, or because he was too uncomfortably full to notice, but Mo Ran was blushing from ears to neck, walking and working quite stiffly.
"It's nothing." Chu Wanning replied curtly. He waved him off. "I will… meditate now. Do not interrupt me for the rest of this afternoon."
Mo Ran nodded and left, carrying trays much lighter than before. He stood outside the Red Lotus Pavillion, dazed, still drinking in the sights of this afternoon. Did Chu Wanning really not understand how attractive he was?
He seemed to tease him with his little "mm"s and "ah"s when tasting, and with the way he gingerly touched his stomach halfway through, thinking Mo Ran wouldn't notice the movement. Mo Ran hoped he could burn the image into his eyes– the image of his Shizun, fighting back pride as he ate the last few bites from his chopsticks.
The way Chu Wanning tried to cover his stomach too– near the end, by hurriedly scooting forward– was so incredibly adorable he couldn't stand it. Chu Wanning was practically panting at that point, ears dusted pink, hands tightly held on his lap covering his midsection, when Mo Ran knew he would be more comfortable massaging his bloated stomach.
Or with him helping Chu Wanning massage it…
He chased the thought, lost in his own fantasies before embarking on his way. He'd already overstepped enough, it would be a while before he ate a meal with Chu Wanning again, let alone see him like that again, he told himself.
Indoors, Chu Wanning was having thoughts not dissimilar to Mo Ran's. As soon as he left, Chu Wanning leaned back in his seat, hands cupping both sides of his stomach. He stopped attempting to control his breathing, heavy pants escaping him as his fingers gingerly undid his robes, freeing his glutted midsection.
Disgusting. Shameless. These words he used before didn't hold a candle to what he was feeling now. Belly button insolently perched atop this swollen mass, he felt as though he were weighed down by bags of rice. Though, something about this weight, accompanied by Mo Ran's insistent closeness earlier made him feel warm– scorching, even. He felt the heat in his lower abdomen, pooling in his stomach and moving dangerously lower. He ruminated on that closeness, that hot breath of Mo Ran's, prickling his neck, and he could imagine it now– breath spreading onto his stomach, with Mo Ran pressing his face and hands into it.
Chu Wanning hadn't had the energy to do anything besides massage his tender belly while trying to not think of his disciple, and so that was what he did until some of that painful pressure was relieved. There still wasn't any give when he pressed his fingers into it, but stabs of pain died down. He gently stood and crawled into bed where he could marinate in his thoughts. He'd done a pretty good job of hiding it; Mo Ran shouldn't have seen his state but… he might have? And Mo Ran should have been disgusted at his appetite, his lack of care, and his stupid resolve to keep pushing his limits… But he was the one helping him finish by the end, wasn't he?
Without the means of making head or tail of it, and refusing what seemed to be the blatant obvious, Chu Wanning slept off the afternoon's mealtime, with his stomach, heart, and mind churning.