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It's a beautiful morning on Okinawa Island. Medaka Yuuichi is basking in the glow of the night before, of extra hours stolen with Nikaidou. He slept well and got up early for once, happy to sit and watch the sun come up, happy to sit and wait for Nikaidou to wake up, even as Sakura and Zaki went off to get breakfast and get packed to go home. The only thing is that it's actually getting late into the morning now, and Nikaidou is still asleep. Nikaidou is still asleep, and there's still plenty of time before they go home, but if Medaka keeps waiting for him to wake up, then soon they'll have to start hurrying. Maybe I'll just wait a little longer and then wake him up, Medaka thinks, before remembering that's what he thought fifteen minutes earlier. But he looks so sweet and peaceful when he's sleeping... but no. They do actually have to leave with the rest of their class, so Nikaidou needs to get up.
"Nikaidou, wake up, or everyone's going to leave without us!"
No response. Not even a stir, and Medaka wasn't exactly quiet either. He reaches out to shake Nikaidou by the shoulder. Drastic measures and all that. Except that Medaka's fingers barely make contact with Nikaidou when his eyes snap open, and all of a sudden he's shuffling up the bed urgently, backing away from Medaka before he can react.
"Nikaidou?" Medaka drops his voice, low and soothing, without thinking about it. Something isn't right here.
Nikaidou, eyes glassy, covering the rest of his face with his arm, backed up to the headboard and still scrambling to get away with nowhere to go. He's looking at Medaka, but also not: Medaka tries to meet his eyes, but there's no recognition there, no eye contact to make.
"It's me. It's Medaka."
Medaka doesn't think about the way his heart squeezes seeing Nikaidou like this. He doesn't think about it, because then he'd have to think about why Nikaidou would react like this in the first place. Instead, he holds his hands spread out in front of his chest. No threat here.
Little by little, the tension eases out of Nikaidou, his gaze softening until the two of them are looking at each other at last. They stay like that for a while, Nikaidou with his arm braced on his knees, just watching Medaka. Medaka, on the other hand, almost feels like he's drunk. Like he's unsure if what just happened actually happened. He drops his hands, now clammy and sticky-feeling, back to his sides.
Eventually, Nikaidou drops his legs off the side of the bed and gets to his feet slowly, bending over in a forward fold to stretch out his arms and legs. Medaka hears a few clicks and pops from Nikaidou's joints as he straightens out and turns to look directly at him.
"Medaka-kun. Please don't do that again."
Medaka doesn't need to be told twice. "I won't. Promise. Now let's hurry and get ready to go."
It's the first day back after summer break and Yuuichi Medaka is looking forward to seeing Nikaidou. A series of scheduling clashes had meant they hadn't seen each other all break, only talked over LINE. Medaka was away, then Nikaidou was away, and then the only time they were both at home Nikaidou had said he wasn't feeling well and wasn't up to leaving the house.
But today is another matter. Medaka has taken care to arrive early to school, to increase his chance of catching Nikaidou before class. Not like it's anything serious, he just doesn't want to have to wait until lunch, or between classes to get to talk to him.
Medaka is heading for homeroom when he sees a telltale sign of Nikaidou: students hanging back, clearing the hallway around something they don't want to go near. Medaka starts moving a little bit faster, weaving between other students slowing their own pace anxiously.
There he is. "Hey! Nikaidou!"
He must not have heard Medaka since he doesn't turn to look. Medaka gets clear of other students and starts running to catch up to him, reaches out to grab his wrist, his sleeve, anything to get his attention.
And as Medaka's fingers close on his sleeve, Nikaidou yanks his arm away as if he's touched a hot stove, almost bodily flinging himself towards the wall.
"Hey! Hey!" Medaka himself flinches back at the violence of Nikaidou's reaction. Surely I can't be that bad, he thinks. But, well, it's Nikaidou. "Sorry! Just me." Hands up in front of himself again.
"Oh, it's you."
Nikaidou looks like shit. Or as much like shit as Nikaidou could possibly look. He's sweating as he stands up, clearly having dropped all his stuff and only just finished picking it all back up, and he looks like he really had to concentrate to register exactly who he's looking at.
"Everything alright?"
Nikaidou looks down the hall anxiously, one way, then the other, like he's watching for something. Or someone. "Look, I... we need to get to class. I'll talk to you during break?"
Medaka's heart drops, and for once, he feels like he can't say no. "Yeah, okay·"
Medaka takes in barely any information in class that morning. He doesn't turn around.
It's Nikaidou leading him to the stairwell this time, an awkward silence hanging in the air as they walk. When they get there, Nikaidou turns to Medaka, smiling weakly.
"It's good to see you, shishou."
Medaka lets out the breath he didn't know he was holding. "You too, Nikaidou-kun." His palms are sweating. He still feels a little unsteady. A temptation pulls at him, an urge to move right back into their usual dynamic. To get back to safety. Medaka doesn't follow it just yet. "What was going on this morning?"
Nikaidou frowns. "Oh, that. You just... startled me."
Medaka cocks his head to one side. "I was calling out to you and you didn't hear me. I grabbed your sleeve and you basically jumped out of your skin. It seemed like a little more than just a startle." He's starting to feel dizzy. It's the most direct he's been with Nikaidou maybe ever, and it's not like he's actually trying to interrogate him about whatever's going on. Nikaidou looks miserable, almost shrinking away from him as it is.
Medaka can't do this, can't bring himself to be the bad guy again. He rolls his shoulders and tries to look relaxed, huffs out a breath and hopes it sounds like a laugh. "Just too many horror stories over the break then?"
Nikaidou laughs the same half-laugh. "Something like that. I mustn't have slept well last night."
The ground feels a little more solid beneath Medaka's feet. He grins. "Just off in your own world then Nikaidou? That's all?"
"That's all. Really, I'm fine Medaka-kun."
Medaka doesn't know if he believes it, but he trusts Nikaidou to tell him if it was important.
Medaka doesn't exactly need to hear what others at school are saying about Nikaidou to realise that something is going on. Or rather, that what has already been going on has been getting worse to the point that others are starting to notice. There's only so many times that he can listen to their classmates say Is he possessed?, because Nikaidou has been dozing off in class every day for the last two weeks, before it starts to get to him too.
And it's not like he hasn't been seeing it happen in real time. Watching the dark circles under Nikaidou's eyes—his real eyes, not just the foul Uzumaki look he puts on—getting darker day by day. Trying not to push it every time Nikaidou says I'm fine Medaka-kun, it's nothing really, and knowing he's lying and that it is something, and he's just not ready to talk about it yet, just give him time, Medaka, just trust him.
"I haven't been sleeping well is all. You don't need to worry about it."
"Want me to come over and stand guard? You know I won't let any ghosts bother you."
But Medaka can only give Nikaidou so much time. He decides to ask again at lunch, when they'll be alone on the stairs.
"Nikaidou. The falling asleep in class, still. The jumpiness. You're so quiet when it's just us now, too. What is going on? And don't say it's nothing again, because I know you can hear what everyone in class is saying. Even they're starting to notice."
Nikaidou opens his mouth, then closes it again. Medaka just waits, refusing to fill the silence. It's another minute before Nikaidou says anything.
"You know what I'm like, Medaka-kun. Just jumping at shadows as usual," he offers finally with a sad smile.
It's not enough. "What can I do?"
Nikaidou looks at him like he's just been punched in the stomach. "What?"
"Tell me what I can do. To help, I mean. Like there's clearly something going on, and you don't have to tell me what it is, I know you don't want to, but just. Tell me what I can do to help you through this. Please." Medaka's eyes are stinging, he can feel the tears threatening to spill over as he finally says what he'd wanted to say the whole time Nikaidou's been acting like this. You are my friend. I love you. Please let me help you.
Nikaidou looks at him for a long time, his feelings playing out clearly on his sweet face. His expression twists between sadness and longing and fear, like he's having an argument with himself. Like he wants something really badly but is terrified of what might happen if he gets it. Eventually, he speaks.
"There's nothing." He scowls and hangs his head. For a second, Medaka thinks he's putting his walls back up, like he's putting on his 'Nikaidou mode'. But it feels different. It feels real.
"I don't believe that." Medaka takes a step towards Nikaidou, reaching for him before stopping himself. He's not sure how Nikaidou would react, even seeing him coming.
"No, I mean it, Medaka. There's nothing you can do to make this better. There's something wrong with me. Everyone who gets close to me either hurts me or gets hurt because of me. It's not even something I can talk about." Nikaidou's cheeks are blotchy and his eyes keep flicking between the door behind Medaka and the stairs to his right. He's wound up tight like a spring, his entire body tense as if he's preparing to make a run for it.
"What do you mean? Why not?"
"It's gross. You know what people say about me. I'm infectious."
"I can handle it."
Nikaidou sighs, then looks around again. For an exit, or to make sure they're alone. He takes a deep breath, bracing for what comes next. "People have always been interested in me, even before..." He pauses, shaking his head. "No one ever cares what I want. I was just a kid, Medaka. I was just a kid and—and somebody took advantage of me. I still get scared. It never really goes away." Nikaidou is very quiet by the time he finishes speaking.
Medaka doesn't really know what to say. He can't be sure, but he gets the sense that Nikaidou is talking about something bigger than the incident Satou-san mentioned. He looks at Nikaidou for a while, thinking, breathing evenly. The longer the silence stretches, the more Nikaidou looks like he wants to disappear into the wall behind him. Tears start to sting Medaka's eyes again, threatening to spill over before he can gather himself enough to say something.
"That, um. That really sucks, Nikaidou."
A laugh bursts out of Nikaidou, his eyes widening. "Yeah, it does." A pause, then, "Thanks, Medaka."
All of the panic between them dissipates with that. Nikaidou watches Medaka, without anxiety or fear, with eyes slightly wet and a small smile creeping onto his face. Medaka smiles too, his own tears running down his face by now. Not that it matters. Because Nikaidou is smiling at him.
They stay like that, watching each other as if under a spell, until the bell chimes for the end of lunch. Medaka can feel something in the air, like a bubble between them, like a moment of magic about to slip away. He pushes through.
"Do you want to get something to eat together after school? I'll buy."
Nikaidou stops and stares at Medaka again, stunned. His smile wobbles, a little more tentative. His eyes shine, and Medaka can see his cheeks slowly flushing pink. They both know that, now, after this, they have to return to the world that knows Nikaidou Akira as a name to be feared. Medaka drinks him in, the sunset slipping behind a hill.
"Okay, yeah." Nikaidou's voice is small again, still a little uncertain, and Medaka's heart soars.
Medaka waits at the school gates, looking eagerly at the horizon for the foul form of Nikaidou Akira. When said form appears, he leans against the wall next to the gate, watching him approach.
"Hey, Nikaidou. Sleep okay?"
Nikaidou doesn't break his stride, his eyes moving to glare a hole right through Medaka's face. "Not even a little bit." Something shifts behind his eyes, only for Medaka to see. Understanding. A shark stalking a fish.
"Ah, sorry to hear it." Medaka falls in line next to Nikaidou, matching his pace. He looks around for any of their classmates, more to humour Nikaidou than anything, and then, seeing no one, adds, "Let me know if you need anything."
"Mmph." Nikaidou grunts. That's that conversation over, but Medaka understands.
It's not like anything has changed, but at the same time everything's different. They don't talk about it, but Nikaidou has stopped trying to pretend like nothing's wrong. He leans on Medaka a little more on bad days. Good days are showing up between the bad ones again. It's hard, and it's not like Medaka really gets it, but they have each other. And Nikaidou's going to be alright. Sooner or later, he always is. Nikaidou's going to be alright.