Chapter Text
It was a sunny summer morning and Gotak was on his way to his best friend’s house, Sieun. Since the beginning of the holidays, the group of four spent their days either hanging around till the heat became unbearable, or at Sieun’s, because his house was the biggest one. Today was one of these days, sun so hot you could fry an egg outside, sweat trickling down his skin as soon as he steps outside and not even an ounce of wind to help him out.
Him and Sieun have been friends since primary school, attached to the hip and spending all their free time together. It all started when they were young boys, 6 years old and barely 4 feet tall. Sieun was sitting alone at his desk, ignoring royally the bigger boys who were bullying him, and even though he didn’t seem bothered at all, Gotak’s sense of justice pushed him to go and defend the smaller one, not hesitating one second. And when he turned around, expecting a “thank you’’ from the boy, all he got was a quick glance and the black haired kid turned his back to him right after. From this day on, they didn’t leave each other’s side…well at first it was mostly Gotak who clinged to Sieun, never leaving him alone, but the shy one quickly softened up to the loud, energetic kid who helped him on their first day of school.
Then, in middle school, came Juntae and Yeongi, a boy struggling with his glasses slightly bigger than his head and a soft smile always decorating his lips, and a girl with sass and energy coming out her mouth as soon as she speaks. From this day on, they became an inseparable group of four, always protecting and taking care of each other. Now, they are all 20 and ready to enter their college life. This was their last summer as “teenagers’’ ( Sieun always argues on the term because he says that being 20 years old makes you a pre adult and not a teenager anymore, but oh well.)
His thoughts come to a stop in synchronization with his feet. He was now right in front the door, one of his hand holding a plastic bag from the convenience store nearby, ice cream filling it up to the brim, the other one rises, ready to ring the doorbell, but he doesn't get to, because in a swift and rapid movement, the door is swung open and a broad and tall figure stands in the frame, a big smile and shiny eyes staring right at him.
“GOGO.’’ His loud, cheerful voice echoed in the empty street, while his big, muscular arms circled instantly around Gotak’s body, pulling him close to his chest in a crushing embrace.
Baku.
Right, he forgot about him…not really forgot, because he’s actually the only thing running in Gotak's mind on a daily, hourly basis. He first met him when he was 10 and a little boy with crooked teeth and a scary amount of vigor, back then, he presented himself as Sieun’s “big bro and assigned bodyguard’’, showing off his none existent muscles and flaunting his fighting skills and it did steal a chuckle out of the green eyed boy, he actually still laughed every time he remembered his first encounter with Humin, holding this memory dearly close to his heart.
Presently, Baku was 24, 6 feet tall, and could engage in a width competition against a refrigerator. And his arms were still around Gotak’s waist and shoulders, and their chests were flush against flush, and he could feel Humin’s breath hitting his hair, and if he didn’t move in the next few seconds, he might collapse, and not from the heat.
So, taking a small step back, enough to be able to have a look at Baku, but not enough to be out of his arms, Gotak roams his eyes through the older’s face, analyzing his features like he’s going to forget about them if he avert his eyes, his hands lock on his shoulders, while the taller’s find their usual place, on his thin waist. They both share a soft smile, before Gotak pushes lightly at Baku’s chest with his finger, a laugh ringing in the air between them.
“We saw each other a few days ago Baku, no need to act like i went to war and came back.’’
Well, Gotak did miss him a lot, but he wasn’t going to admit it so easily, matter of factly, he wasn’t going to admit it, period. See, he’s really on the “gun to my head, you ask me to talk about my feelings, i’m taking the gun and pulling the trigger myself.’’ side, even more when it’s about Baku.
The older man looks down at Hyuntak, being a bit higher in stature than him, and his right hand unlock itself from his waist, his long fingers slowly going up the black haired’s arm, lingering on his toned bicep, tracing the side of his neck, ripping off a shy shudder from Gotak, before finally coming to a stop in the depths of his hair, ruffeling it gently, with a low smile coming back to his lips.
“You know i can’t go a day without seeing you, Gogo.’’
And well, Gotak is a weak, lovestruck boy, and that’s why he goes back for a hug, but also because he can’t let baku see his cheeks turning crimson from the words he just said to him like it was a simple “good morning’’.
Baku’s hands stayed in place, one still secured around his waist, his thumb drawing invisible patterns on his skin-covered hip, while the other one went down to the nape of his hair, stroking it lightly. Gotak had his chin propped on the broad shoulder of the twenty-four year old man, his arms slung loosely around his neck, just drowning in the soft moment they were sharing.
Humin was Sieun's older brother, and Gotak met him after a few weeks of friendship with his now best friend. They got pretty close, because, even though there was a little age gap between them, they shared multiple interests and bonded over those. Over the years and till now, their relationship evolved into this. To be entirely honest, Hyuntak wouldn’t know the exact word to describe it. They were more than friends, but they didn’t have a brother-like closeness, and he was a bit scared to look more deeply into it.
His train of thoughts, as well as their hug, are cut short by a loud noise coming from behind Baku. The wooden door is swung open once again, this time, Suho and Sieun are seen, the older’s arm wrapped around Sieun’s shoulders. Their appearance made the other pair startled a bit, leaving each other’s arms right away and putting some distance between them.
While Sieun only gives Gotak a pierced look, Suho doesn't hesitate and sling his other arm around him, a big, knowing smile on his face, before locking eyes with Baku while talking with the green eyed boy.
“Sorry if i disturbed your k-drama moment guys, but i think the ice cream you bought is melting, Gotak.’’
His cheeks flared up with heat as he glared at the older man, Suho, whom he is actually really close to. He is Baku’s childhood friend, practically a part of the family, just like Gotak is. They are quite similar in some ways so they clicked right away. No matter the age gap between them, Hyuntak always felt really comfortable and at ease, treating him just like his own brother.
Without premise, Humin’s fingers circle around his wrist and he's being pulled beside him, a big arm draping itself around his neck.
Humin felt possessive towards Gotak, he didn't know why nor how, but just the thought of it makes him bubble up with anger and frustration, tightening his hold around the slightly smaller boy. He just hates it when a person other than him has physical contact with the black haired one, even though it was Suho, his closest friend.
“You only think about your stomach Suho, you need to get it checked.’’
The younger snorts at the jab before freeing himself from Baku’s hold, going straight to his best friend and wrapping an arm around his shoulders, pulling him inside the house after turning on his heels. Without looking back, his voice comes out again, a tad higher so it could be heard.
“Your audacity is really admirable, Humin-ah.’’
Laughs erupt from the pair that joined them a few minutes ago, and Baku’s eyes linger on Gotak’s back, a soft smile and a look that says “he got me but i liked it’’ painted on his face, before following his friends and little brother inside the house, closing the door with a light quick, his hands being too busy sweating in the depths of his pant’s pockets, because of the heat of course, not anything else, just the high temperature and not Gotak’s thick thighs in those dark navy shorts he was wearing like a sin.
Whereas Baku and Suho join Juntae and Yeongi, who were already in the living room with Seongje and Baekjin -Baku’s two other closest friends-, Sieun and Hyuntak go straight to the kitchen to empty the bag of ice cream into the freezer, well, hyuntak empties it, Sieun just look at him while leaning against the counter, seizing him up and down, waiting for Gotak to finally talk. He had this thing where he didn't need to speak and could make you say anything just with a bit of staring, and whilst it worked in the first few years, he was now immune to it with how much Sieun used it on him.
“Whatever you want from me, you're not getting it Sieun-ah, stop your mentalist roleplay.’’
After putting the last cone in the cold cube, Gotak gets back up from crouching on the ground and gets closer to his best friend, putting his hands on the counter separating them.
“I didn’t say anything, Gotak. You’re a bit paranoid i think.’’
“Please, i know you like the back of my hand. You don’t ask bluntly, but you give me that staring look and wait till i fall for the pressure and pour everything out.’’
“And i know you too, Gotak. Something is going with Baku. You’re not telling me everything.’’
His hands tensed a bit on the counter’s edge, before slipping away and going straight into his pockets to hide the low tremor going through them.
“Nothing is going on, we’re just really close, just like i am with Suho or even you.’’
His friend’s natural poker face is distorted by a raised eyebrow, expressing the lack of belief Sieun is having regarding his words right now.
“If you're as close to Suho and me as you are to Baku, then we are in a poly relationship, Gotak.’’
That rips a laugh out of Hyuntak, who jumps on the opportunity to quickly change the topic of the conversation, not wanting to dwell on the previous one.
“Thank you Sieunie, but your boyfriend is not my type, and nor are you.’’
Your brother though…
He keeps this bit of information to himself, not exactly ready for the talk it could bring up. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Sieun, hell he trusts him more than anyone. The thing is, he doesn't have answers to the questions he knows the other party is going to ask him.
He’s been in love with Humin for years now, since puberty hit him in the face in the form of a brown haired, older, louder and athletic man. They have this ambiguous relationship where they're not quite lovers, but they’d find each other even in a room full of people, locking eyes and sharing a knowing smile before breaking the contact like nothing happened.
The line between protectiveness and possessiveness blurred a long time ago, and what Baku thinks is him taking care of his brother’s friend, is actually him keeping the boy by his side only and not sharing him with anyone.
Midnight walks turned into late night calls, ringing each other’s phone as soon as they get home from their little getaway, like they didn't just spend hours talking under the knowing look of the stars and the caring light of the moon.
But that's what Gotak is, and what he'll ever be. The moon of Humin’s night sky. And it is known that the moon and the sun aren't meant to be. Right ?
…
It’s been four hours and the little group of friends was sprawled around the living-room, AC humming low in the background with the TV at a reduced volume, drowned by the loud voices conversing in the large space surrounding them.
Sieun was sitting on the floor, with Juntae beside him, caged between Suho’s long legs who was sitting on the couch just behind his boyfriend, Yeongi siding him. Seongje and Baekjin took the second couch, the taller man sitting at the edge and the other one taking the rest of the space, his head resting on the armrest. Hyuntak was half-sitted on the third, largest couch, his socked feet propped up on Humin’s thighs.
He was having a heated conversation with Suho, fighting about the best sport anime, eyes locked on him and focused on the argument, not minding the dark eyes staring holes at the back of his head, too worked up to notice.
Humin’s eyes lowered slowly from Gotak’s side profile to his toned arms, muscles tensing up when he moved his hands to express himself, then moving to his neck, where a discreet vein was popping out, because that’s how he gets when he engage in a debate with someone that doesn't agree with him and Baku always find it endearing how his friend gets worked up for such small things. The same smile he can't restrain when he’s around Hyuntak -soft, enthralled, with a shy mocking edge- stretches his lips, but it dies quickly when his irises fall on the green eyed boy’s long legs.
Hyuntak was not small at all. In fact, he was quite the big guy himself. Even though Baku is bigger, he still is really brawny and broad thanks to his taekwondo years and his weekly rendez-vous at the gym. That's why, when his eyes focused on the younger’s thighs, he stopped breathing, just for a second. His shorts rid up his body, exposing his slightly tanned skin and the moles decorating it, his position making the fabric of his garment strain against his flesh, veins running along it.
Baku wanted to reach out and hide the exposed skin, just to protect Hyuntak from the lustful looks, not because he was possessive, not because he wanted it for himself only, but because he cared about his well-being, because he knew that just in front of them was Seongje ; Seongje who got a soft spot for Gotak ; Seongje whose eyes were roaming along the younger’s body, milling round on his meaty thighs with no shame.
Without thinking about his action, the brown haired man puts both of his hands on the subject of his torments, and while keeping an eye contact with Seongje, he slowly lowered the shorts so they'd cover what they're supposed to cover. The man facing him addressed him with a jeering smirk and looked away, locking his eyes on Baekjin.
Detourning his eyes away from Suho, Gotak looks at Baku’s hands still positioned on his thighs, then he looks up at his face, giving him a questioning stare, stopping midsentence, rendered speechless after the man’s gesture.
The entire room fell silent, their eyes following the movements of Gotak and Baku, but the latter ignored them and acted like nothing was wrong, because for him, nothing was wrong with what he did. He just kept scrolling on his phone and ended up averting his eyes to look at his friends, an interrogative expression formed on his face.
“What ? What's wrong ?’’
“Yeah, you tell us, Baku. What's wrong ?”
His eyes travel the entire room before stopping on Seongje, the one whose voice just rose in the tense space, his words hiding a slight mocking undertone.
He leans a tad bit forward, a forced smile on his lips, his hands still securely “protecting” Gotak.
“Everthing is fine, thank you for worrying about me.”
They held eye contact for a few minutes, before Hyuntak decided to cut the tension short by swinging his legs out of Humin’s grasp. He puts his feet on the ground and claps his hands together, a stressed smile on his face.
“Right. Everything is alright, who wants ice cream ?”
At the mention of the sweet treat, the entire group’s attention snaps to the green eyed boy, the previous hostility evaporating to let the loud cheers replace it.
“I want a watermelon popsicle…no, a chocolate flavored cone…NO ! Both. Or maybe it’s too much ? I want vanilla ice cream too…”
Gotak seized Suho from head to toes, a judging look on his face, before throwing a pillow at him to shut him up.
“What about bringing you the entire freezer ? It would be quicker, dumbass.”
The older man glared at him, pointing an accusing finger in his direction.
“I was going to come and help you out, but you can sit on it now !”
Seongje takes up on the opportunity and starts to get up slowly from his seat, but he is surpassed by Baku, who gets up abruptly and puts a possessive hand on Gotak’s back to guide him towards the kitchen.
“I will, he doesn't need your lazy ass !”
Gotak followed the older man without complaining, even if a slight confusion painted his face, he was used to Baku’s shenanigans and didn't think much of it.
After reaching the kitchen, Hyuntak pulls away from the brown haired man’s hold and goes straight to the freezer to empty it like it was a treasured vault. Whilst he does so, Humin sits at the edge of the table, his eyes locked on his friend. His playful smile disappeared, letting a dark expression replace it.
“Gotak.”
His voice came out low and deep, making the younger startle a bit at the tone. It wasn't cold, Baku is rarely cold, maybe even never. But it still took Hyuntak by surprise. He rose from his position to turn around and look at him, waiting for his next words, but they never came. The older man just spread his legs and Gotak went to stand up between them, his hands finding refuge on the wide shoulders presented to him, muscle memory. His eyebrow lifted up a bit and his voice came out in a bratty tone, the one that made Baku go crazy.
“What’s wrong ? You're acting weird and not in the basic weird Baku way.”
Humin slid his warm hands around Gotak’s thin waist and pulled him closer, his eyes searching the younger’s for a few seconds before speaking up.
“Would you have accepted if Seongje came to help you out instead of me ?”
“Yes ? Why would I say no ? As long as someone is helping.”
Gotak knew. Oh how perfectly he knew why Humin was asking this and why his shoulders tensed up and why his back straightened as soon as the words left his mouth. But he played it off because Baku, he, doesn't have a clue.
“What do you mean, yes ? I thought you hated him.”
“I don't hate him. We argue a lot but i think he’s really funny and free spirited. I love h-..”
“See I'm not asking you to make a dissertation about him.”
“Because you know what a dissertation is ? You ate your exam paper in high school so your parents don't scream at you for your outrageous grade.”
Mimicking Gotak’s voice, the older jabs back at him without an ounce of hesitation.
“Because you know what outrageous means ?”
Hyuntak’s laugh resonates between them, and Humin can't help the softness that spreads through his chest when he hears that melodical sound and sees those green eyes turn into moon crescents. His friend really had the prettiest smile he'd ever seen.
“YO ARE THE ICE CREAMS COMING OR IS SOMETHING ELSE COMING ?”
Cheeks turning a deep red instantly, Gotak pulled away from Baku, his hands already unclasping from the latter’s shoulders, aiming for the ice cream.
“We should pr-...”
He gets cut off by a big hand circling his wrist, pulling him in again between Humin’s legs, their bodies a bit closer this time. Their faces were merely a few inches away, noses brushing lightly one another. Hyuntak's eyes widened, not used to being this close to the older man. Tension bubbles up within the atmosphere surrounding them, eyes wandering each other’s faces, his green irises locked on Baku’s chapped lips before sliding to the spider bites piercing decorating his inferior one. Since the day Baku showed up with those little jewels on his mouth all happy about it, Gotak hadn't seen a normal, sane day .
Humin was hot. He felt stuffy and his skin was burning due to adrenaline. The proximity of his and Gotak’s face heated up his entire body, and the images going through his mind while looking at the younger’s full, moist lips and glassy, shiny eyes made him drowsy. He was feeling all kinds of things, imagination running wild and his clouded brain didn’t want to acknowledge the reasons for what he was feeling.
His voice comes out in a profound and hushed murmur, minty, cold breath hitting Hyuntak’s mouth in slow puffs. It was low, intimate, enclosed in the effervescence of the moment they were trapped in.
“I don't want you to be so close to him Gogo,...i don't like it.”
“Why ? Afraid i’ll like him more than you ?”
“So there's a chance you could like him more ?”
His tone was drenched with despair, his fingers tightened slenderly around Gotak’s arm. He could see the screaming dejection that painted the brown haired man’s expression and he couldn't hold back the haughty and smug grin that crept up his lips.
“Maybe.” Never in a million times.
The daring undertone behind his word was like silk to Humin’s ears. He opened his mouth, ready to answer, but he’s stopped by the sound of footsteps nearing the kitchen and a voice getting louder, calling out their names.
Sieun.
They quickly push away from each other as if the mere contact of their skins burned them, Hyuntak instantly busying himself with the ice creams, while Baku gets off the table, Sieun entering the room right at that moment.
His eyes wandered between the two men, jumping from one another, showing no emotion but a discreet frown.
“Everthing is alright ? You've been here for quite a long time.”
The green eyed boy nods, making his way to his best friend.
“You know how Baku is.” He locks eyes with the man in question. “He can’t help but ramble nonsense, he distracted me from my main task.”
“What do you mean, nonsense ? I’m so smart, everything i say should be in the dictionary !”
“Everthing you say is already in there, it’s called words and vocabulary, smarty pants.”
The older man flipped him off before taking the sweet treats from his hands. He pushed past him and his little brother, brushing his chest narrowly against Gotak’s, he mouths a silent “good luck”, shares a quick look and a self-satisfied smile, before making his way to the living room.
Oh the asshole.
“Let’s go ?”
He takes a step toward the door, ready to flee the scene like a thief after getting caught, before getting stopped by Sieun’s voice.
“You two are hiding something from me.”
God if you love me send a sign.
As if on cue, Suho joins them, circling his arms around his boyfriend's waist from behind, pulling him close to his chest. Suho knew about his feelings, of course he did, he was in the same situation as Gotak, in love with his best friend's brother and scared to break a friendship if he ends up telling him. Lucky him, even though Baku gave him the big brother talk, he was more than happy to have his best friend as his brother-in-law (Sieun threw something at Baku every time the latter called Suho like this, especially in front of their parents.)
“What are we talking about ?”
“We a-...”
“I don't care !”
His obnoxiously loud laugh fills up the space, making the two younger boys wince at it. How Sieun ended up with such a goofy man is beyond explanation.
“Don’t laugh like a cow near my ears like this.”
Gotak snorted at Sieun’s comment, his eyes looking up at Suho’s haircut.
“You do look like a cow licked your head with this hairstyle.”
The older man’s laugh dies down instantly, before he bolts towards Gotak, who, eyes wide, runs away and out the room to escape the angry bird throwing insults at him while chasing behind him.
Sieun lets out a desperate sigh, following after them but still thinking about the weird tension he felt when entering the kitchen a few minutes ago. Something was going between those two and he was sure of it. What he didn't get was why they weren't telling him anything.
…
It was now past eleven pm. The heat of the morning died down to let a cool breeze take the lead, easing the struggle of a hot summer day. The sky blended into a dark blue color, cloudless and starry.
Gotak had left Sieun’s house and he was now on his way home. Not alone, never alone in those types of moments. Baku’s imposing presence was filling up his personal scope. At this point, it just became a routine, muscle memory, a habit. He would spend his day at theirs and then Humin would get up the moment Hyuntak announces that he's going home, already putting his shoes on to accompany him and he wasn't going to complain.
He loved having him by his side. Even though Gotak had the capacity to defend himself if anything happened, the older man’s presence made him feel protected and safe. He was big, warm and strong, just like a bear.
“You know, you don't have to walk me home every night.”
Very contradictory of you, Hyuntak.
Hands clasped together behind his back, Baku lets out a little huff of breath, before hitting his shoulder against Gotak’s in a light movement. The boy stumbles a bit before looking at Huming and hitting him back in a movement a bit stronger.
Baku throws him a shocked glare, pointing his index finger at him like he personally wronged him.
“Hey i was soft, you didn't have to push me that strongly !”
“Dont point your nasty finger at me !”
“Nasty ?! You don't deserve my beneficence.”
“Your what, now ?”
“It’s like when someone does something out of charity.”
His face was proud and smug, a little jump in his steps as he kept walking beside Gotak, who was looking at him with a bewildered expression.
Fall in love, they said. It’s gonna be cute you'll see, they said.
He stops walking and sticks his face in Baku’s personal space, a big, mocking smile adorning his mouth.
“It’s benevolence, you jerk.”
He cocks an eyebrow at him.
“And if you're doing it out of charity, then you can go back home, i’ll just call Seongje, im sure he would do it out of pure pleasure.”
His hands slide into his pockets and he starts walking again, a few steps ahead of Baku, who quickens his pace to catch up to him, before wrapping a strong arm around his neck and pulling him in, face a few inches away from his, a malicious smirk on it.
“Dont you dare. I’m the only one who can walk you home.”
His breath tickles Gotak’s cheek, who shudders a bit under it, and pulls away to put some distance between their faces, but not moving away from Baku’s embrace.
“And I'm not doing it out of charity, you know i love spending time with you when it’s dark outside.”
Right. When it's dark outside. Only when it's dark outside.
With no preamble, they finally arrive in front of Gotak’s house. Baku lets go of him and the younger boy leans back against the wall next to the front door, the older man right in front of him. Their eyes find each other again and the tension that died down in the kitchen earlier resurfaces to envelop them.
Cautiously, like he is approaching a wild animal, Humin gets closer to Hyuntak and leans forward, his manly and wooded cologne taking over the younger’s senses. He closed his eyes briefly, letting it soothe him like it always does. Baku had the kind of smell that you could never get tired of.
He braces his right hand on the wall, just beside Gotak’s head and gets down a bit so his face could be closer to the green eyed boy.
“Gotak, open your eyes.”
And for a second, while the wheeze of Baku’s respiration hit his cold skin, he asks himself if it's not better to run away without looking back, but he decides against it and slowly opens his eyes to gaze into Humin’s. They get nearer to each other with a torturing languideness, lips parted, eyes slowly closing, pants meddling about, Baku’s left hand grasping Gotak’s waist, the latter’s hands dipping in his brown hair.
They were standing at the limits of this line for years now, the line between friends and lovers, between shared breaths and a final kiss that never happened, between a confession that could change everything, for the best or for the worst, between a lost friendship or a newfound relationship.
Their lips brush against one another, a soft gasp comes out of Gotak’s mouth and…Baku’s phone starts ringing suddenly in the quiet, and he jumps out away from Hyuntak, eyes wide. It’s like his soul just got back in his body and he realized what he was doing.
He was about to kiss his friend, his little brother's best friend, what was he thinking ?!
Hyuntak’s hands fall along his body, still dazed and confused by what just happened. Once again, their moment was cut short, like the world wanted Gotak to suffer a bit more from this situation.
Baku looks at his phone then at the younger boy, before taking a few steps back, a rigid smile deforming his lips.
“Sorry i have to go, my..girlfriend is calling.”
And just like that, he turned his back to him and he was gone in the dark while Gotak stayed frozen in place in front of his house, not even breathing for a second.
…Girlfriend ?