Chapter Text
Rumi has always had a difficult relationship with her body, of course there’s the whole making sure you stay a certain weigh and be mindful of what you eat that she’s heard more from her dance instructors than Celine, which makes sense, she’s 15 now, and training to be the next biggest Kpop idol and demon hunter means Rumi needs to stay fit, but that’s not what has been bothering her recently, no, its the patterns… those jagged ugly purple marks on her shoulders that recently have started spreading, faster than before, much to Celines displeasure, she’s not sure why, Rumi is doing everything Celine has told her to do, train, dance, practice, study, all day every day, but they keep spreading, they haven’t gone past her shoulders yet, she can still wear short sleeves, and for that she’s glad, Rumi has never been a fan of long sleeves.
Now Rumi is standing in-front of her mirror, in leggings and a sport bra after a rather long training session with her aunt, and it’s her reflection that brings up this particular train of thoughts. Rumi stares at her reflection for a bit longer than usual, she tries to avoid it as much as possible nowadays, but as she’s changing her eyes catch she sight of her patters on her shoulders, they’re starting to spread down, she tries to ignore it, but now that she’s seen it she can’t take her eyes off the ugly sight. She hates it. Hates the patters. Hates the meaning behind them. She hates that she isn’t good enough, that she doesn’t work hard enough to make them stop, Rumi hates herself.
She starts hyperventilating and scratching at her patters, her skin starting to burn and sting, but it isn’t enough, she wants it to hurt, needs it to hurt, she deserves it.
Thats when Rumi glances at her desk, scattered with papers and books, some from homeschooling and tutoring, also books about demon and hunter mythology, a thought crosses her mind about hiding them, she knows Celine doesn’t like her reading those things, quickly her eyes go to her stationary supplies scattered on the desk and she sees an old pencil sharpener, before she can fully process what she’s doing, she’s already walking towards the desk, grabbing the sharpener and taking the bade out, it was easier than she thought. Rumi held the small blade between her fingers and stared at it for a few seconds, it felt strangely exhilarating. In a matter of seconds the blade was pressed up against her shoulder.
And that was the first time Rumi picked up the bade, but it was certainly not the last.
Soon enough that became part her routine, her own little ritual to deal with the bad days, and the really bad days, which was more often than not since Rumi’s good days had become few and far between.
Today was another shitty day, it had been a few weeks since Mira and Zoey arrived to the training ground and moved in with her and Celine, that was something she still needed getting used to, so besides having to deal with two mostly strangers sharing her space, she had an awful training session, since Celine started training her basically by the time she could walk, Rumi was already a lot more advanced that Mira or Zoey when it came to fighting and using her weapon, but Celine doesn’t care about that, her aunt still thought she was sloppy and slow today which yes, she was tired today, she spent the entire morning practicing her dancing, she’d never been the best dancer, but now that her fellow hunters are training with her, she had to work harder to keep up. Mira was practically a professional dancer already, much to her own parents displeasure, and Zoey somehow had a talent for following the beat perfectly, even if her moves aren’t as sharp as Miras, she still hits every move on time, on the other hand, Rumi is still struggling with timing and coordination, not to mention that she’s been told that “she’s too stiff” one too many times, she’d heard it plenty of times from her instructors when she was younger but hearing it from Mira felt like punch in the gut, even if the pink haired girl meant it as a joke, it still stung.
So yeah, maybe she didn’t do her best during training with Celine today, she didn’t think it would be that big of a deal, but Celine thought otherwise.
“What’s going on with you today Rumi?”
Celines voice is low as to not catch the attention of Mira or Zoey who are still packing up their stuff to go back into the house, but Rumi can still hear the sharpness and disappointment in it.
“Im just a bit tired from dancing all morning” Rumi said while trying to avoid her aunts judging gaze. “You can’t be slacking off Rumi, it doesn’t matter that you’re more advanced than them, that doesn’t mean you can put in less effort, you understand?. Rumi sighs but before she can answer, her aunt continues, her tone becoming a bit more bitter. “You have to make up for your faults Rumi, you can’t let them spread”. Rumi finally looks up, not wanting to upset her aunt more by making her think she wasn’t paying attention. “Yes Celine”. Rumi’s voice is emotionless as she answers the same way she has countless times, exactly how she was taught, well mannered and without protest.
That’s what brings her here again, in her bathroom, holding a razor blade between her fingers while blood drips down her arm, she switched from the sharpener blade a while ago, Celine didn’t think much of it since she convinced her aunt that it was important to take care of her personal hygiene.
The feeling of the blood dripping down and the sting calmed her mind, even if just for a moment, and the sight of the cuts somehow make looking at her patters more bearable.
The sharp sting of another cut on her shoulder brings her back from her thoughts, quickly placing the blade back in its hiding spot in the drawer under her sink, Rumi quickly and efficiently cleans herself up and wraps a bandage just in case, she’d started cutting deeper recently, the small cuts weren’t enough anymore and she had to make sure they healed properly so she could still train and dance without raising any suspicions. She changed into her pijamas and stared at her refection before heading to bed.
“Teddy bears and chu chu trains” Rumi whispers to herself with a smile as she admired her pants, Zoey got them for her when she first arrived, they’re a bit silly and childish, but also surprisingly comfortable, so Rumi ends up wearing them a lot more often than she initially expected.
As the purple haired girl laid in her bed, her mind wandered to Mira and Zoey, the girls the honmoon chose to be her bandmates, her fellow hunters who would help her protect the world and eventually seal the Honeymoon. Rumi still doesn’t really know how to interact with them yet, given that she’d spent her entire formative years sheltered and with very little social interaction, the most socialization she’d gotten was her dance and voice teachers, who Celine made sure she only spent the necessary amount of time with and definitely weren’t her age, so suddenly having two girls who were pretty much her same age, Mira being six months and Zoey a year and a half younger than her, living in the same space as her, eating and training with her, was a big adjustment to make, but as much as it was unfamiliar, it felt strangely… comforting?
Zoey is a ball of energy and a literal ray of sunshine, she tends to talk a lot about things that interest her or just anything that comes to mind, she’s always laughing and making jokes, and Rumi finds herself smiling a lot more than she has in the past few years because of it, whenever Zoey speaks she feels light and warm inside, Rumi doesn’t really know why that happens, but she quite likes that feeling. She loves listening to Zoey talk about turtles, and go on and on about stuff she used to do back home in Burbank, and Rumi tries her best not to laugh when Zoey forgets a word in Korean and stays silent until she remembers.
Mira on the other hand… Rumi had heard about Mira before, her family is one of the most influential chaebol families in Korea so, it made sense that Rumi had seen something about her or her family in an article, or heard something in one of the many Sunlight Entertainment events she was dragged to by Celine. Ever since Rumi first met Mira, she realized she was very different from all the other prissy rich people she’d met before, first of all, Mira’s hair was pink, her eyes were sharp but her gaze didn’t make Rumi want to curl into herself, there was a softness behind it, Mira is blunt and can come off as rude, but as Rumi started spending more time with her, she realized Mira was actually very thoughtful and kind. Sure she does speak her mind and doesn’t care if its a bit rude, but she is also very thoughtful and everything she does, she does with care and intention, like when Zoey got hurt during a sparring session and Mira patched her up without second thought, or when Rumi was struggling with choreography and Mira stayed with her until she improved.
Rumi might have a lot of worries about the future, the debut of the group, her spreading patterns, sealing the honmoon… but for the first time she feels like she has one good thing to hold on to, and that’s her girls.