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The PTMC day shift crew had grown close over the years, and the three newest members seemed to fit in seamlessly following the Pittfest tragedy. Langdon was back from rehab, Dana came back too after a short break where she truly considered retirement, but she knew she'd never really enjoy lounging around. She belonged in the thick of it, and wasn't ready to give up her title of "Queen of the Day Shift" as Lena regularly called her. It was her first day back when she noticed that there was a new bet going on. Who is Javadi going on a date with and when? "What the hell is that?" She asked Ahmad, raising her eyebrow. Certainly the shift wasn't starting to take bets on each other's lives…right?
"Welcome back, Javadi apparently let it slip to Santos that she has a date soon, so we're all trying to figure out who and when it is," he explained with a casual shrug, as if betting like this was a daily occurrence, maybe it had become one since she'd been gone.
Dana pinched the bridge of her nose, silently apologizing to the young girl for the words she was about to utter. "Put me down for $20 on Matteo for tonight," she said, making Ahmad crack a smile.
"Good to have you back," he said. She nodded, heading to the desk to get to work. As she started looking over which patients could be discharged soon she heard McKay enter the hospital. "You want in on this?" He called over to her.
Anyone with eyes could see McKay's interest in Victoria, could see the way she was softer with the younger woman than she was with anyone else, save for children and her family. Cassie would deny her attraction to Victoria until her last breath, but she couldn't lie to herself, the girl was downright adorable. She pushed down her hurt feelings at the idea of Victoria going on a date with someone else. Why did she even care who she went on a date with? She wasn't Cassie's girlfriend, they were barely even friends. Sure, they'd bonded over triage, and shitty mothers, but that didn't make Victoria hers. "Nah, I'll skip this one," she forced herself to say instead of just being grumpy.
"Your loss!" He called after her before turning back to the board, filling out his own sticky note.
$40, Cassie, this weekend
Throughout the rest of the shift there was a sort of tense feeling settling over the ED. McKay had been avoiding Victoria all day, and it was starting to hurt her feelings. "Have I done something wrong?" She asked as McKay exited a patient's room, her eyes widening in surprise at the confrontation, if that was even what this was. Javadi was the least confrontational person Cassie had ever met, so clearly her avoidance was bothering Victoria enough to warrant a check-in. She'd be touched if it weren't for the fact that Victoria so clearly had feelings for someone else. Cassie didn't know who it was, but whoever it was, a part of her hated them.
"No, of course not," she answered, and she meant it. Victoria truly hadn't done anything wrong, all of it was Cassie's fault, Cassie's problem. "Why would you think you did anything wrong, Vic?" Her eyebrow raised, one hand resting on Victoria's shoulder, her thumb lightly stroking the shoulder.
There was a silence for a moment as Victoria tried to remember how to speak. "Well, you've just been sort of distant all shift. Not with other people, just with…just with me, and so I assumed I was the problem," she finally said, fidgeting with the sleeve of her jacket, looking anywhere except into Cassie's eyes. Santos was under the impression that Victoria had a crush on Dr. McKay, but she'd always shut it down. Victoria was straight, and she liked Matteo. She did not, under any circumstances, have feelings for the older woman who had become somewhat of a mentor to her, she wasn't Santos, and Cassie wasn't Garcia. For one, McKay probably didn't even like women, so there was no possible way of them ever being anything more than colleagues, which was for the best, and exactly what Victoria wanted. So when Matteo asked her on a date, she'd said yes without hesitation. He was cute, and sweet, and was on some level interested on her.
"You are many things, a problem is never one of them," Cassie told her, and Victoria had to bite her inner cheek so she didn't say something embarrassing, her stomach doing somersaults at McKay's words. Sure, she probably meant them professionally, or platonically, but that didn't stop her heart from trying to find the flirtation behind it, not that there was any to find.
"Oh, cool," Javadi mumbled, internally cursing herself for saying cool. "I mean, I'm just glad you aren't upset with me for some reason. You've become a good friend, a wonderful mentor, I would have hated to somehow unintentionally messed that up," she said, squeezing McKay's hand before scurrying off, back to work.
"Right, friend and mentor, that's it," Cassie muttered under her breath as she watched the younger woman disappear around a corner. What Cassie didn't notice was the light blush that colored Javadi's face when Cassie called her Vic. Nor did she notice the way the younger woman stuttered more around McKay than anyone else in the hospital. As soon as she had a free moment Cassie locked herself in the bathroom, taking a moment to splash cold water on her face and neck. What was she doing? Javadi was young enough to be her kid, she really didn't need to spend her free time thinking about how Javadi would look under her. "What are you doing, Cas? You're being a creep," she said to herself in the mirror, even though she had never behaved inappropriately with Victoria.
On the opposite end of the hospital Victoria was working with Matteo to stitch up a guy who had cut his knee pretty badly falling off of his bike. "So, you seen the bet going on today?" Matteo asked casually, focusing on cleaning a scrape on the man's elbow while Javadi focused on the knee.
"Nope, anything good?" She asked, only partially paying attention to him as she focused on the patient. Ever since the Pittfest tragedy they had become good friends, just friends. She was his wing woman when they hung out at places that didn't serve alcohol, she was only twenty, and he gave her advice on how to deal with her "unrequited" crush on her mentor. He always made sure to use air quotes when he said it too, much to her chagrin.
"Let's just say the plan worked, and Santos didn't keep her mouth shut about what you told her this morning," he said, smiling at her when her head popped up a little too quickly, anxiety and excitement warring in her eyes. "Everything will work out Victoria," he assured her, practically hearing her worries.
"I seriously can't believe they decided to take bets on my personal life," she replied, looking back down at the patient's knee, her ears pink. "Anyone have interesting guesses?" She asked, a little curious about what their coworkers thought her personal life was like…well, one coworker in particular.
"Dana thinks it's me, Ahmad thinks it's McKay," he said, watching as she almost dropped the suture needle in her hand, though she quickly caught it.
"Have I really been that obvious about my crush on her?" She asked. "No wonder she was avoiding me this morning," she added before he could speak. "Of course she'd be avoiding me if someone thought that she was into me, she'd never like me like that…it was stupid of me to ever think she would."
Before he could calm her down they heard over the intercom that the ED was about to get a lot of traumas. There was a horrible car accident not very far away, thirty car pileup on the freeway, they'd be getting most of the patients, it was like Pittfest all over again. "McKay, Javadi, I want you two out in the ambulance bay doing triage," Robby called out as the shift gathered together, the bet temporarily forgotten as they all prepared for hell. At Robby's orders both women glanced at each other, briefly made eye contact, and then quickly looked away again, as if the other wouldn't notice.
As the first ambulances started rolling in the two of them went their separate ways, silently agreeing to divide and conquer. The two of them worked in sync, only really interacting when they absolutely needed to, neither of them thinking about the feelings they had, at least not until it was over and McKay collapsed into a chair in the break room, blood on her scrubs, exhaustion in her eyes. "Where's your shadow?" Langdon joked as he entered the room, sitting down at the same table as her, looking just as tired.
"My shadow?" She repeated, raising her eyebrow. Her brain was swiss cheese at the moment, she didn't feel like trying to decode his riddles.
"Javadi, she's usually following you around like a lost puppy," he teased, earning a dull glare from McKay.
"Don't call her a puppy," she said. "And she doesn't follow me around, we just get paired together a lot."
Langdon cracked a small smile. "Cassie McKay, you have a crush on a med student." If looks could kill he'd have been dead on the spot for saying that. "Look, it isn't a bad thing, as long as her mother never finds out you wanna bone Shamsi's daughter."
"Really, Langdon? Why don't you go annoy someone else because I do not have feelings for Javadi, alright?" She snapped, unaware of Victoria standing just outside of the break room, having been looking for McKay. She forced a neutral expression as she entered the break room, not looking at either of the residents as she made her way over to the coffee machine, not noticing the silent death glare McKay sent Langdon, the message clear. Tell her what you suspect and it'll be the last thing you ever do.
"All I'm saying is that I think the lady doth protest too much," he joked before leaving the room, wanting to get home to his wife and kids, leaving just Cassie and Victoria alone.
"You alright? You never drink coffee at the end of shift," Cassie said after a moment, not noticing the slight shake in Javadi's hands as she tried to open a sugar packet. The packet slipped from Victoria's fingers as she started to cry. In an instant McKay was right behind her, gently turning her around to hug her, thinking that Victoria's tears were from the crash they'd just dealt with, and part of it was. She rubbed the younger woman's back, whispering calming words into her ear until Victoria's breath evened out and she calmed back down.
"Sorry about that," she mumbled, turning away, back to her shy, awkward self, but Cassie didn't step away, her hands resting on Victoria's shoulders. The younger woman was tense, but not from the stress of the shift.
"Never apologize for crying. It just means you still have compassion for people, even after everything we see every day," Cassie told her, moving to stand next to her instead of behind her. "You sure you're okay? You've been kinda off all day, to the point where Langdon started asking questions."
Javadi's eyes widened in surprise, but she quickly forced herself to relax. "What kind of questions?" She asked nonchalantly.
"He asked where you were and called you my shadow…weird, right?" She looked over at Victoria, concerned when the younger woman shot hot coffee out of her nose. "Are you okay?" She immediately moved to examine Javadi's nasal passages with her phone's flashlight to make sure she wasn't hurt, and Victoria didn't think she was, her pride however, could not say the same thing.
"Has anyone ever told you that your eyes are really pretty, they sort of get darker the more tired you seem," Javadi admitted without thinking, earning an frustrated huff from the older woman as she blew her bangs out of her eyes.
"You shoot coffee out of your nose and your first instinct is to compliment me? What's going on with you?" Victoria's face flushed as she started to back away, her cup of coffee left abandoned as she fled the break room. Cassie didn't like her back, so she couldn't admit her feelings, ever. Victoria ran to the nearest bathroom, leaning over the sink just as her nose started bleeding heavily, and she groaned, still a little squeamish of blood, moreso her own than others though. She grabbed a paper towel, trying to stop the bleeding as she closed her eyes, willing herself not to hurl or faint, not that it worked. When she opened her eyes again to check if she was still bleeding, and she saw it was still gushing, her eyes rolled back in her head.
When Victoria came to a little while later she was in a hospital bed, a bandage near her hairline, and Whitaker standing at the foot of her bed. She was struggling to breathe through her nose, reaching up to check why when he stopped her. "Good, you're awake, you took a bit of a fall in the bathroom," he explained. "Do you remember it?" His posture relaxed just a bit when she sheepishly nodded.
"Yeah, I had a bloody nose, and you know how I am with blood," she mumbled, staring at the hospital blanket on her lap, silently hoping no one had told McKay about what had happened, not wanting her around, embarrassment still heavy in her chest.
"Last I checked it was still bleeding, so we put cotton balls in your nostrils in hopes of stopping the bleeding. Any idea what caused it?" He was being professional, like a doctor, but still treated her like a colleague, which she was immensely grateful for. "Also, don't worry, no one has called your parents yet." Her parents, they hadn't even crossed her mind. They'd both freak if they saw her as a patient, though her mother had always been better at compartmentalizing her feelings.
"Um…I accidentally shot hot coffee out of my nose, like straight from the coffee pot hot," she told him, her cheeks pink, trying to ignore the wide eyed concern on his face. He didn't ask questions and she didn't offer details as he carefully removed the cotton balls, replacing them at the sight of her nose still bleeding.
"I am…gonna go get another resident because I'm not sure what to do to make your nose stop bleeding," he said awkwardly before quickly leaving, not giving her time to request anyone other than McKay.
Almost as soon as Whitaker left, Matteo entered the room, clearly worried about her. "Heard a rumor about a med student passing out in the bathroom, you okay?" He asked, moving to sit on the stool next to her bed.
"Other than my pride I'm great," she mumbled. He raised his eyebrow, not believing her. "Bloody nose from shooting coffee out of it that hasn't stopped bleeding yet. Whitaker went to go get a different doctor because he doesn't know what to do." Matteo's hand found hers, giving it a gentle squeeze, which was the precise time Whitaker returned, with McKay in tow. McKay's eyes immediately landed on Victoria and Matteo's hands, though she quickly looked away, forcing herself to stay professional.
"What happened?" She asked quietly, a hint of concern slipping through her tone, fitting itself under Javadi's ribs, making each breath a bit more painful. How could she be so caring yet only see Victoria as a coworker. Cassie was mainly asking about the bandage on Victoria's head, already knowing what caused the bloody nose.
"I've gotten better at dealing with other people's blood, not so much my own," she told McKay, glancing up at the older woman, not realizing her had was still interlocked with Matteo's, though Cassie was still very aware of it. Her hand was gentle as she rubbed Javadi's arm sympathetically.
"We're gonna have to cauterize the blood vessels in your nostrils, but you won't feel it, okay?" McKay asked, sitting on the edge of Javadi's bed, gently cupping her chin so she had to make eye contact, not that Victoria said a word, too busy trying not to think about the way McKay was holding her chin made her feel. She didn't make a sound until Matteo lightly nudged her, murmuring her name to bring her back to the present.
"Yeah, sure, whatever you think is best," she finally said, words a bit faster than normal, just like they always were around Cassie, who cracked a small smile as she started to get stuff ready.
"Do you want me to stay?" Matteo asked, cracking a small smile when Victoria shook her head, pressing a friendly kiss to her forehead before he turned to Whitaker. "I think Dr. McKay's got this." That was his very unsubtle way of getting Whitaker to leave too so the two ladies could talk.
"So, when's your date with Matteo?" She asked, forcing an air of casualness, her question catching Victoria off-guard, her eyes widening.
"Matteo? No, no, no, we're just friends," she told her. "He's cute, but not who I'm currently interested in."
Cassie's eyebrow rose just a hair. "May I ask who that date you have coming up is with then?" She asked. She didn't want to damage their friendship, but a part of her needed to know who it was that had gotten the gorgeous, ever lovely Victoria Javadi to fall for them.
"Why? So you can win the bet?" Victoria joked as Cassie gently removed the cotton balls from Victoria's nose.
"No, I didn't enter the bet, it's just curiosity, I promise. Keep your eyes on me," she murmured as she gently entered fresh cotton balls into Victoria's nostrils, these ones soaked in lidocaine to numb the inside of her nose, Victoria hoped she didn't notice how her breath stuttered.
Victoria fidgeted with her hands, trying to come up with a believable lie, not wanting to seem nearly as pathetic as she felt. "Oh, a guy I met in med school, he doesn't work here," she explained, lying through her teeth. Cassie didn't believe her, could always tell when the younger woman was lying, but she didn't call her out on it. If Victoria didn't trust her enough to be honest, that was just something Cassie would have to live with, though she had thought they'd become good friends, but maybe that was just all in the older woman's head.
Cassie swallowed hard, pushing down the thoughts of Victoria with someone else as she slowly removed the lidocaine cotton balls. "Can you feel your nostrils?" She asked. Victoria started to shake her head but paused, remembering the fountain still flowing from her nose.
"No, ma'am…I can't feel my nose at all, actually," she answered.
"Alright, I am going to use this to stop the bleeding. It is a silver nitrate stick, it'll cause a chemical burn and stop the bleeding. I need you to either close your eyes, or keep them on me." That wasn't medically necessary, but Cassie didn't want Victoria to faint again. Her heart sank a bit when Victoria chose self preservation and opted to close her eyes.
About two minutes later both nostrils had been cauterized and the bleeding had stopped. "Thank you," Victoria said softly, her hand brushing Cassie's forearm.
"No problem, um…you'll need to keep both nostrils moisturized, and try to avoid blowing your nose for about a week," Cassie replied, trying to stay in doctor mode. She couldn't let herself falter, even when Victoria looked up at her with those beautiful hazel eyes. "If you start feeling any discomfort you can use over the counter pain meds. Do you keep a change of clothes in your locker?" She didn't want Victoria to have to travel the halls of the hospital covered in her own blood.
"Yeah…Matteo has the code," she answered.
"Of course he fucking does," Cassie muttered under her breath, making Victoria's eyebrow raise this time. Before she could question Cassie's words the older woman left the room, presumably going to find Matteo.
When someone eventually returned it was neither Cassie nor Matteo, it was Trinity. "I heard you took yet another fall, Crash," she teased, perching on the edge of Javadi's bed. "So, will you please tell me who your date is and when it is? I already entered and can't change my bet so I just need to know whether or not to double down, y'know?" So she wasn't stopping by to actually check on Javadi…how surprising.
"There isn't really a date. I said there was so that you would tell Princess and/or Perlah because you're all huge gossips…I was trying to see if it would make someone here at the hospital jealous, but they don't care," Javadi explained, not knowing McKay was on the other side of the curtain, still thinking she meant Matteo. McKay stayed outside for a moment, forcing her feelings down into their tiny boxes before she slipped through the curtain, setting the clean change of clothes on the stool next to Javadi. She didn't notice how Victoria looked up at her like she hung the moon the instant she entered the room, but Santos noticed it immediately, her eyes bugging out of her head.
"Holy fuck," she mumbled, earning a quizzical look from McKay, and a downright terrified one from Javadi. She considered telling McKay, certain that the twenty year old would never work up the courage, but she stopped herself. She wouldn't have wanted anyone outing her crush on Garcia before they started dating, so she chose not to embarrass the girl. "Oh, I just remembered that I was supposed to be doing an ultrasound on one of my patients right now," she lied smoothly, hopping up. "Feel better soon, Crash." And without another word she left, though she heard the exhale Victoria let out.
"That was…?" Cassie started.
"Weird?"
"Weird," she agreed. "I can get started on your discharge papers now. Do you need a ride home?" Ever the caring mentor.
"Nope, I'll be fine…but thank you, for everything."
An hour later Cassie was leaving the hospital, her shift from hell finally ending. She initially didn't notice Victoria sitting on the bench, practically folding in on herself. Her knees were pulled up to her chest, shoulders shaking as she silently cried. Cassie's feet moved without her consent, leading her right to the girl who consumed her every waking thought. She crouched in front of Victoria, her thumb lightly rubbing against the younger woman's arm, trying to comfort her. "Hey, what's wrong?" She whispered.
"Please go away," Victoria mumbled, not looking at Cassie. Cassie did not go away, she instead moved to sit next to her, her arm wrapping around Victoria's shoulders.
"My favorite coworker is sitting on a bench crying, I'm not going away. Do you need some aspirin?"
Victoria shook her head, a wet, almost hurt laugh escaping her lips, worrying Cassie even more. "No, I'm fine, I just feel like a dumbass. I've spent months falling for someone, and they'll never see me as more than just some kid they trained…why do I do this to myself?" The question made Cassie's heart hurt.
"Yeah, I've been there before, I'm still there right now, actually. There's this girl who is sweet, and funny, and so beautiful, it's hard to stare at her sometimes…but all she sees me as is a coworker, and I hate it." She didn't see the way Victoria momentarily glared at her. "…ignore me, I'm supposed to be cheering you up, not the other way around. Whoever it is, they're lucky to have you interested in them." Cassie started to get up, but Victoria gently grabbed her arm, stopping her, not wanting to be alone.
"You're an idiot," Victoria said, making Cassie's eyes widen in surprise, but flicker with hurt. "You complain that some girl sees you as just a coworker, and you don't notice what's right in front of you," she complained, confusing Cassie even more.
"What are you talking about, Vic?"
"I like you, a lot. I turn into a blushing, stuttering mess whenever we share cases. I offer to watch Harrison for you, I'm not a huge fan of kids but I like hanging out with him because he's just like you. I mean, I run away after complimenting you because I'm scared of making you hate me. Everyone else in the hospital knows I have a crush on you. Langdon wasn't wrong when he said I follow you around like a lost puppy you infuriating, gorgeous, oblivious woman…it isn't just because you're an excellent doctor," she blurted out, her face getting redder with each sentence while Cassie stared at her dumbfounded. "Great, now I've just ruined my friendship with you. Let's just forget this conversation ever happened, yeah?"
Victoria started to get up, deciding to cancel her current Uber and just order one from the park. As she started to walk away she didn't look behind her, couldn't stand the thought of meeting Cassie's confused gaze. "I'm not the only oblivious one here," Cassie finally said after a minute, her eyes trained on Victoria as the younger woman turned around again, now it was her turn to be confused.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you're insane if you think I don't like you back. You're one of the sweetest people I've ever met. I just try not to acknowledge it because it makes me feel like a creep. You're young enough to be my kid, Vic."
"And I'm an adult who can make her own decisions," Victoria argued, stomping back over to Cassie. She was taller than the older woman since Cassie was still sitting. Cassie looked up at her, opening her mouth to argue, but before she could Victoria cupped her cheeks, pressing her lips to Cassie's careful to avoid bumping her still sensitive nose. Every rational thought melted from Cassie's mind as her arms wrapped around Victoria's waist, deepening the kiss, neither of them thinking about the fact that one of their coworkers could walk out and spot them at any moment, and one did, but it was just Matteo, who discreetly snapped a photo of the two of them before leaving for the night.
The next shift everyone worked, people were still buzzing about the bet, Santos hadn't told anyone what Javadi had told her this time. Finally, having enough of the uncertainty Princess just had to ask as everyone was starting their shift. "Okay, who are you going out with, and when?" She asked, getting straight to the point, making Javadi's ears turn pink as she looked away for a second, embarrassed.
"Um…I have a date this weekend, with Dr. McKay," she answered, looking up at Cassie who was standing next to her. Javadi's eyes widening when Ahmad chuckled from where he was standing.
"Looks like I won the bet," he said, mighty pleased with himself.
"But technically I didn't ask her out until last shift. When the bet started the rumor was a lie," she explained sheepishly.
"Didn't someone bet that it was a ruse?" Perlah asked Princess.
"Yes, someone did bet that the date was a ruse. I believe that means we're splitting the money 50/50?" Matteo asked, grinning.
Victoria and Cassie's jaws dropped in unison, Javadi's moreso. "Matteo, I don't think that counts since you helped me plan the lie," she said, though she smiled ever so slightly when he passed her half of his winnings, a quarter of the betting pool.
"Well, I figured you'd need the money for your date," he teased, fist bumping her as he walked past. And between the chaos of the emergency room, and the chaos of the bet, Cassie and Victoria found themselves falling more and more.