Chapter Text
SC ADVENTURE TOURS 🛥️
(You + 12 Other Members)
Sun 14th September 2025
Mark W.
Hi crew. Still needing an extra on board for the 17th. Please let me know if anyone is willing to take the shift. 5 blokes on board, they’re from the UK according to their form. So should be a good fun one.
[16:04]
Liam L.
Sorry mate got plans on that day
But keep me open for other days please
[16:26]
Daniel R.
Heard @Oscar Piastri is needing some extra $$$ ?????
[16:37]
Oscar P.
I’ll take it @Mark Webber
[16:41]
Mark W.
Thanks mate. See you tomorrow anyway
[16:42]
—
DANIEL RICCIARDO
Sun 14th September 2025
You’re a fuckhead
[16:43]
😘😘😘
[16:43]
How am I supposed to say no after you say that
[16:44]
Dont tell me ur broke and then expect me not to help you out mate
[16:45]
Now I’m working 5 shifts in a row
[16:45]
Guess that means ur buying the pub rounds this weekend
[16:47]
Nah mate
That’ll be on you for stitching me up like this
[16:48]
5 blokes on board
AND from the UK
This is exactly what you needed
Don’t lie to me
[16:49]
🖕
[16:49]
Alright bet
[16:50]
—
HOUSEWIFE 👹
(Logan Sargeant)
Sun 14th September 2025
Hey you still out??
[17:01]
Ya meeting is almost done
What you need?
[17:03]
Milk’s gone bad can you get some on the way home
[17:03]
Should I ask how you managed to find that out?
[17:05]
No
I did not drink it
Expiry date says it’s bad
[17:05]
Thakn god I reeeeeeeally didn’t want to have to worry about coming home to you being occupied on the toilet for the next 24 hours
I’ll bring some home honey I’ll be 45 mins xx
[17:07]
Say that again and I’ll lock you out
[17:08]
Almost four years of living under these conditions you should be used to it by now
Bro I’m fucking over these staff meetings
This could have been an email
[17:09]
Wanna swap jobs??
[17:09]
YES
I’ll take a day out whale watching and snorkelling w little fishies over serving apricot danish to the same old yoga ladies who eye fuck me every day
[17:10]
Yeah you’re right
I don’t wanna do that
Daniel forced me into taking a shift so now I gotta work Wednesday
[17:11]
Interesting charter at least??
[17:11]
Probably some rich old fucks from the UK who will find a reason to complain
Like no you can’t have 26 beers on charter before you snorkel
You wonder why people drown in our oceans honestly
[17:13]
What if they’re cute
[17:14]
Bro are they ever?????
[17:14]
Might get lucky this time around mate
[17:15]
Can only hope
[17:15]
Coming home now see you soooooon
[17:46]
—
SC ADVENTURE TOURS 🛥️
(You + 12 Other Members)
Tues 16th September 2025
Mark W.
@Daniel Ricciardo any chance you’re able to take the shift off Jack for tomorrow morning?
[09:05]
Oscar P.
I’m with him at the moment he said he’ll take it
[09:12]
Mark W.
Thanks mate
[09:13]
—
DANIEL RICCIARDO
Tues 16th September 2025
Payback
[09:15]
Wow fuck you
Didn’t know we were getting breakfast or some shit today
You asshole
I can’t believe you
What if I had a date planned
[09:26]
Do you ever?
[09:28]
Not the point
I’m gonna wipe your mouthpiece between my ass tomorrow before you get there
[09:29]
How do you know I’ll use that particular snorkel
[09:31]
Nah I’ll make sure you do
And I’ll piss in your flippers
[09:32]
I’ll be there at 7am tomorrow in case you wanted to get a head start
[09:33]
You’re just saying that so I show up 30 mins earlier
Without pay
[09:34]
You know me too well
[09:34]
See you tomorrow mate
[09:36]
—
HOUSEWIFE 👹
(Logan Sargeant)
Wed 17th September 2025
Oh my god Logan
[13:02]
Oh my god what
[13:04]
They were cute
[13:04]
NO WAAAAAY
Tell me everything
I need something good for my lunch break
[13:05]
All about mid 20s. Super chill
Just on a boys trip
They’ve just finished up a week in Cairns and have two weeks between here and Brisbane
[13:07]
Ok so did you get @s ????
[13:07]
No I’m a professional
[13:07]
Bro wtf
You just think you’re gonna see them around again by chance???
[13:08]
They said they’re staying in the Sunshine Coast so maybe
And they want some friends who know the place
I told them about the cafe and they said they’’ll go take a look
[13:09]
Ok so they won’t
[13:09]
They said they’re struggling to find good local spots so they thanked me for the rec
[13:10]
Yep they definitely won’t
They were just being nice
[13:10]
Ok negative Nancy
[13:11]
Bro a 1 in 1048039030 chance they’ll come here
But if they do I’ll bring home a week’s worth of pastries for you
[13:12]
Mark’s gonna send the group pic he got for our socials
I’ll send it soon and you can keep an eye out for them
[13:12]
Not stalker vibes at all
[13:12]
Mate this is rare
I love you but I’m sick of having my friends be just you and work
I wanna meet some people from elsewhere
Somewhere new and cultured
[13:13]
So 5 people from the UK is somewhere new and cultured
Wow Oscar Piastri is reaaaaaally broadening his horizons
I don’t even recognise u
[13:14]
Dunno if it’s just my imagination but one of them seemed really flirty
[13:15]
Did they have morning beers before charter any chance?
[13:15]
Didn’t smell like it
[13:16]
Jesus do you greet all your clients with a sniff???
What is Mark telling his employees to do?? ?
Should I call fair work???
[13:17]
Nah just one of them got really close while we were snorkelling
And kept on making fun of my flippers
Lando was his name
[13:18]
Sounds like your type
[13:18]
What do you mean by that?
[13:19]
5 letter name
Gives you attention
[13:19]
God I can’t be that bad
[13:19]
You’re consistent I’ll give you that
[13:20]
[PHOTO]
Here’s what they look like
Don’t tell anyone I sent you this probably some client confidentiality shit I’m breaking here
[13:22]
Can I guess which one Lando is
[13:22]
You’re gonna anyway
[13:23]
[PHOTO]
This one?
[13:23]
Yeah
[13:23]
LMAOOOOOO
You got a type fo sure
[13:24]
Can you go away
Surely your lunch break is done right
[13:24]
It’s quiet today
Just hiding until someone comes to find me
[13:25]
How have you not been fired
[13:25]
Mate I’m the best barista in the area
[13:26]
You’re probably just the boss’ favourite
[13:26]
Excuse me
Just been found gtg
[13:27]
Can you bring home whatever’s left in the cabinet
[13:27]
No
[13:28]
I’m locking you out
[13:29]
—
BOSS MAN
(Mark Webber)
Wed 17th September 2025
Boys left a killer review for today mate. Good job 👌
[19:36]
Thanks mate
[19:38]
Want to do a shift swap tomorrow? Switch from 3pm snorkel to a 7am whale watch instead. The boys actually booked that in when they got back to dock. Think they’ve taken a liking to you.
[19:39]
Wow they must want the full experience
[19:42]
Sure do. Keen to take it?
[19:42]
Sure why not
[19:45]
You’re awesome kiddo 👌
[19:46]
—
UNKNOWN NUMBER
(Maybe: Lando Norris)
Thurs 18th September 2025
Hey mate. It’s Lando from the boat. Thanks so much for today we had such a great time!! What was the place you recommended again for a pub feed?
[12:26]
[You changed Unknown Number to Lando 🇬🇧]
Hey! Sorry I just finished up my shift. I’m so glad, thanks for the business honestly
Taps is the name in Moolamba. Not too sure if you’re in that area but decent feed at a good price
[13:35]
Thank you. You’ve been a better tour guide in 2 days than Google has done for us for the past week
[13:38]
I’m only a text away now. Happy to give you more recs. Don’t need to book anymore tours with us to get them haha 👌
[13:43]
I was almost tempted haha
Think you’d be able to give a recommendation for what to order?
[13:45]
100% chicken parmy. And you gotta say it like that too
[13:46]
Is it an Australian sin to say it another way?
[13:47]
More controversial than anything
Don’t say parma to the wrong crowd
[13:48]
So not only recommendations but tips on how to not get punched out before we leave Australia hahaha
[13:49]
Can’t do another snorkelling tour if you have a traumatic brain injury mate
[13:49]
Ah so this is only to get you more business then?
[13:50]
Anything for the job promotion
[13:50]
[Lando laugh reacted to your message]
Any chance you’re keen on joining us tonight?
We’d love to get to know our tour guide a little more
[13:53]
Sure let me know the time you’re thinking
[13:55]
6pm?
Is that a normal dinner time here?
[13:58]
Parmy is good at anytime mate
[13:59]
6pm it is
[14:01]
—
HOUSEWIFE 👹
(Logan Sargeant)
Thurs 18th September 2025
Can you come out of your room and help me
[16:34]
Just loaded up a game hold on
What’s up
[16:37]
So Lando asked to catch up
[16:38]
omg
This dude asks for your number and not even a day later you score a date
[16:39]
Not a date
His travel buddies are all gonna be there obviously
[16:40]
SO
No one just does that mate
[16:40]
Exactly so I need help with an outfit
Because I don’t want them to think I’m just a tour guide
[16:41]
You sure they’re not just looking for a sneaky party link to some hard shit?
[16:42]
Are you saying I look like a dealer???
[16:42]
You’re a 20 something year old who wears a bum bag full of suspicious items around your chest when you go outside
[16:43]
Mate it’s fucking practical???
[16:43]
Just saying you’re not helping your case
[16:45]
Ok so no bum bag tonight then
[16:45]
Good start
Don’t need to overthink it for a not date
Unlesssssssss you’re trying to impress Lando
[16:46]
Shut up
[16:46]
Just remember I exist and our walls are thin if you come home with him
[16:47]
He might not even swing that way mate
[16:47]
Will you be stoked if he did tho?
[16:48]
Of course
[16:49]
Then you better find out
Ok I’ll come help you out of your crisis now
[16:55]
—
LANDO 🇬🇧
(Lando Norris)
Thurs 18th September 2025
Hey just arrived
[17:58]
Sorry running a little behind
Traffic got us good and the Uber doesn’t have Tokyo Drift energy
[17:59]
No stress mate
[17:59]
Find us a good table and we’ll come find you
[18:00]
[PHOTO]
If this helps I’m sitting here
[18:03]
Ooo on the pints already I see
[18:03]
It’s been a long week haha
Oh I didn’t mean for that to sound like you made my week bad hahaha
[18:04]
Nah we’re a handful I know that haha
[18:05]
Want me to order a round?
[18:07]
That’s ok I think Max wanted to look at what’s on tap
He’s trying to get through as many craft beers as possible on our trip
[18:08]
Got some recommendations for that if you need
[18:08]
See this is the reason as to why we invited you
[18:09]
Damn I don’t even make the cut to the friendzone
[18:10]
After a few pints with us lads you’d definitely reach it haha
[18:10]
I got an arvo shift tomorrow so can’t be out too late
[18:10]
What time that start?
[18:11]
1pm
[18:11]
Nahhhhh you’ll be alright
[18:11]
Trust me mate. A hangover and boat tour does not mix well
[18:12]
Guess just means we’d have to catch up again for a proper night out when you don’t have work the next day
[18:12]
Hmm a tour of the nightlife here? I’ll have to charge for that
[18:12]
We’ll pay whatever
[18:13]
Good. 2 shots at the first bar is my fee
[18:13]
Make it 4 and you got a deal
Just arrived where are you again
Nevermind I see you
[18:14]
—
HOUSEWIFE 👹
(Logan Sargeant)
Thurs 18th September 2025
assuming your asleep n not gonna see u before yo ur shift tomorrow morn ing
No intel on which way Lando swings
But holy shi
He is fu cking hot
jst in the uver home now and swear to go d these seven??? beers had me begging mate
Anyway we’re catchi ng up on Sat so will try again hah a
[22:32]
Fri 19th September 2025
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I’m glad you had fun
Hope you don’t suffer on the boat today
[07:14]
I’m fucking dying
[09:46]
—
DANIEL RICCIARDO
Fri 19th September 2025
Need some panadol mate?
[13:24]
All good
Thank you though
[13:26]
Mark is pissed at you hahahahaha
[13:27]
Can you tell him I’m sorry again please
[13:27]
Bloody kids these days
[13:28]
At least I showed up
[13:30]
Only to start throwing up the moment you start trying to get the gear on board hahaha
[13:31]
Hey this is my first time throwing up at work since last year
Let’s talk about your track record for a second
[13:32]
Mate just piss weak you couldn’t handle some weekday beers
[13:33]
Honestly didn’t realise my hangovers have gotten this bad
[13:33]
That’s what 24 does to you
Doesn’t come in subtle just hits one day that you can’t have as much but the headaches somehow have gotten stronger
[13:34]
Maybe I do need panadol
[13:38]
Give me a sec just finishing up the calendar
[13:39]
Is the air con on in the office?
[13:40]
Can turn it on for you where are you
[13:40]
Laying in the equipment shed
[13:41]
Mate we have a first aid bed here why didn’t you come here in the first place
Can you walk or do you need an ambulance to bring you the 10 metres to the office?
[13:42]
I can manage
[13:42]
See you soon
Try not to leave a trail of spew from the dock don’t think our next clients would like that
[13:45]
—
LANDO 🇬🇧
(Lando Norris)
Fri 19th September 2025
So craft beers taste good on the way down
Not so much up
[14:03]
You’re telling me
[PHOTO]
[14:06]
Oh jesus
I’m so sorry mate looks like you’ve been dragged to hell
[14:07]
I didn’t even manage to get on the boat haha
[14:08]
Fuck I’m so sorry
[14:08]
All good mate
I think a mix of being overworked had a play in this too
[14:09]
Can imagine this is a busy time of year for you guys
[14:09]
Yeah we’re almost at the end of peak season so getting a heap of people in who think it’s cheaper to come now hahaha
[14:10]
That’s what we thought when we booked the trip haha
[14:11]
Should I recommend not doing that next time?
[14:11]
Wanna be our travel agent too then?
[14:12]
Only if you promise we don’t do weekday drinks again
[14:14]
That I can do
Probably not the best topic of convo right now but any chance you’re still up for some bar hopping tomorrow night?
[14:15]
Yeah for sure
My brain won’t remember how this hangover feels after another night’s sleep so we’re good
[14:17]
No work Sunday?
[14:18]
Nah got three days off
[14:19]
Technically 4 if you count today?
[14:20]
Still showed up to work today in my condition. Just doing some scut work
[14:21]
God you’re a good employee
[14:21]
Boss man probably doesn’t think so at the moment
Thank god we had a small group for the boat today otherwise they would have had to cancel the tour with being one man down
[14:22]
Okay I’ll keep in mind to not ask you out for drinks again before a work day haha
[14:23]
You’re so kind
Let me know the plan for tomorrow yeah?
[14:24]
All up to you. You’re our guide 🫶
[14:24]
Happy to wait until my shift ends? Then I’ll create the ultimate bar crawl map for us
[14:25]
Fuck yes
[14:25]
—
BOSS MAN
(Mark Webber)
Fri 19th September 2025
Hey mate. Hope you’re feeling a little better now you’re home. Just wanted to say thanks for making the effort today even though hell. Shed looks immaculate.
[17:36]
Thank you. Sorry again. Didn’t mean to overindulge last night.
[17:36]
All good, we’ve all been there. Liam now wants more shifts before his trip away in a few weeks. Any chance you’d like to take next Wednesday off? As a thanks for taking this week’s one.
[17:38]
Always happy to have a day off mate haha
[17:40]
Well deserved. Except maybe for today ha ha. All sorted then.
[17:41]
—
LANDO 🇬🇧
(Lando Norris)
Fri 19th September 2025
[PINNED LOCATION]
Meet here tomorrow at 8pm?
[17:56]
Looks good
Got a few places lined up then?
[17:56]
Yeah but gonna leave it as a surprise for you all
[17:57]
Should I be scared?
[17:58]
Probably
[17:58]
Damn I knew I shouldn’t have trusted the guy from the random boat tour we did on the other side of the world
[17:59]
When you put it that way hahaha
[17:59]
How’s the hangover now?
[18:01]
Better
My roommate's helping me through it he dropped some snacks off from his work and left me alone for a couple of hours haha
[18:02]
Your roommate is the one who works at the cafe hey??
[18:02]
Yeah
[18:02]
You really are a walking advertisement you know that hahaha
Recommending his cafe to get him business
[18:03]
Honestly only recommend it because it IS good
[18:03]
Defo going to try it next week when we wake up early enough to go for breakfast
[18:04]
Would recommend the choc chip muffins to take away
[18:05]
Personal fave?
[18:06]
Yes and exactly what’s keeping me from throwing up right now
[18:06]
Must be that good if that cures you instead of paracetamol
Also your roommate is more than welcome to join us tomorrow
Forgot to mention that
[18:07]
He’s not really the party type
But I’ll ask him
[18:08]
But funnily enough you met him while partying haha
[18:08]
Yeah he’s slowed down in his middle age
[18:09]
And how old is that?
[18:09]
25
[18:09]
Fuck looks like I’m days away from retirement then
[18:10]
Only as old as you feel mate
[18:11]
Currently feel 75
[18:11]
Same
[18:11]
Tomorrow we’ll be 20 years young yeah?
[18:12]
18 if you’re paying me with shots
[18:12]
Actually might need to get in some carbs from your roommate’s cafe before I have those shots with you hahaha
[18:13]
Open until 4pm tomorrow if you do
[18:13]
Mate I don’t even need google anything with how good of a guide you are
[18:14]
—
HOUSEWIFE 👹
(Logan Sargeant)
Fri 19th September 2025
Totally don’t need to accept but Lando has said if you wanted to join tomorrow for the bar crawl you can
If you’re gonna come to be a matchmaking pest I would rather you not
[18:14]
Awww
If this pest wasn’t there you wouldn’t make a move until he’s back to wherever he’s from
[18:17]
Coming then?
[18:18]
As much as I would love to see you attempt being a flirt I think I might enjoy a night at home
[18:20]
That’s all you do
[18:21]
Yeah
And I fucking love it
Go be free and snog a dude it might help you chill the fuck out
[18:25]
Yuck that word
[18:25]
Sorry want me to use make out???
Pash???
[18:26]
I would rather you just be a normal person and not talk about what I may or may not do with a guy tomorrow evening
[18:27]
aaaaH SO YOURE THINKING ABOUT IT
[18:28]
Shut up
[18:28]
Get some for the both of us xxx
[18:29]
Absolutely fucking yuck
I will not be thinking about you when I kiss someone mate
[18:30]
Thank god
Don’t think our friendship could push past that if you did
[18:30]
—
LANDO 🇬🇧
(Lando Norris)
Sat 20th September 2025
A little early just got here
It’s fucking busy holy shit
[19:53]
Almost there just walking up the strip now
[19:53]
I’m lining up at the bar it’s gonna take a while
Any idea what you want?
[19:54]
Want to do the first shot to get it over and done with?
[19:54]
Not gonna lie I’ve already had one at another bar hahaha
[19:55]
Wow I feel so deceived
[19:55]
But I’ll do another with you
[19:55]
Tequila then mate
[19:56]
Fuck
You don’t play around
[19:56]
Just coming in now
See you
[19:57]
Where are you?
[21:04]
Other side of bar where are you
[21:05]
Just in bathroom hang on a sec
Wanna gather the boys to go next place?
[21:07]
Sure will meet you out front
[21:08]
Sounds good
[21:08]
Can you actually make it a double shot please in the vodka redbull?
[21:32]
Of course
[21:32]
Where yo u
[22:43]
Out front near the smokers area
[22:44]
Coming
[22:44]
Sre those girls bothering u?
[23:33]
Yeah wana hit the dancefloor ?
[23:33]
Yes
Lemme think of an excuse to get you out h old on
[23:34]
Sun 21st September 2025
Ive lost my phone
[00:26]
You havent
[00:26]
O yeah haHAha
[00:27]
Where uuuuu
[01:49]
Jus trying to find martin n ill be with u
im hurrying up as fast as i can xx
[01:50]
need me to call a cab for him???
[01:50]
no him and max are staying
idc what they doing
We ne ed to go home
[01:54]
no rus h x
[01:55]
there absxolu tely is
fuck ur so hot
[01:56]
we gotta make it thru a 20min drive
[01:56]
fuckkkkk
[01:57]
—
HOUSEWIFE 👹
(Logan Sargeant)
Sun 21st September 2025
hi i wont be home tongith
I didnt die
Probably
anyway we kis sed in the club and im in his hotel room nowwww
he gay
Big gay
Same though
[02:41]
Oh my god Oscar
You absolute maniac hahahahahaha
[08:02]
Coming home now
[09:37]
How was your night? 🤤💦
[09:38]
Not text appropriate
Will be about 30 mins
[09:38]
I’m sitting on the couch and ready for the tea
[09:40]
—
LANDO 🇬🇧
(Lando Norris)
Sun 21st September 2025
Hey feeling okay now?
[16:27]
Yeah just had my 2nd nap of the day hahaha
[16:43]
Well deserved
Sorry to keep you up all night
[16:44]
Don’t be sorry
[16:45]
Can cross off see the Australian sunrise from the list hahaha
[16:45]
Yeah but you should do it properly
Like not just from the window in bed
[16:46]
Had a much better view in front of me 😘
[16:47]
[You heart reacted Lando’s message]
Thank you for yesterday I had a lot of fun
[16:48]
You made it fun
Best tour guide ever
And the hottest
[16:49]
Glad to meet all your travel expectations x
[16:49]
Sure did x
You up to much tomorrow?
[16:50]
Probably not planning to get out of bed to be honest
[16:51]
Fair enough I’ve kept you occupied with my chaos long enough
[16:51]
You’re more than welcome to join me
In bed
[16:53]
If you’re offering
Then yes
The boys have plans for a golf day tomorrow morning but maybe I can see you after that in the afternoon?
[16:54]
Absolutely
Golf is much better than seeing an Aussie apartment haha
[16:55]
Not coming there for the apartment tour mate
[16:55]
Ah so you don’t want the full Australian experience then?
[16:56]
I got enough of that last night
Time for you to get some of the British experience
[16:57]
—
HOUSEWIFE 👹
(Logan Sargeant)
Sun 21st September 2025
Any chance tomorrow night you’re able to go somewhere?
[16:58]
Are you asking me or making me
[17:01]
Lando’s going to come over
[17:02]
Oh yeah
I don’t wanna be around for that
[17:02]
Just don’t know what’s gonna happen haha
[17:03]
Yeah I’ll go suss what my mates are doing
[17:03]
I can’t believe you have friends other than me
[17:03]
And I can’t believe you’re getting a second hook up within 2 days
Who are you
[17:04]
You’re the bestttttt
[17:05]
Revoking pastry gifts this week because of this
[17:06]
Worth it
[17:06]
—
LANDO 🇬🇧
(Lando Norris)
Mon 22nd September 2025
Just finished up golf
[14:28]
How’d you go?
[14:29]
Won against these fuckers hahaha
[PHOTO]
[14:31]
Good job it was a good day for it today
[14:31]
Do you play?
[14:32]
Can’t say I have
[14:32]
I could show you a thing or two
[14:33]
Not going to lie it’s not a big interest of mine haha
Done mini golf though
[14:33]
Would be concerned if you haven’t done mini golf at least once hahaha
Maybe we could do it is there a place here?
[14:34]
Yeah pretty good place near me actually
[14:34]
What’s your work week looking like?
You know
You’re up for hanging out
[14:35]
Of course
I got Wednesday off
[14:35]
Done xx
[14:36]
Can’t get too pissed though
I have work the next afternoon
[14:37]
I play mini golf better sober anyway
[14:37]
Alternatively you play big golf better drunk?
[14:37]
Big golf hahaha
A few beers make the swings better
[14:38]
I’ll take your word for it hahaha
[14:38]
Still want me to come see you?
We’re just going back to the hotel now and should be good for 4pm
[14:39]
Yes please
[14:40]
Oooo please
Well mannered
Or just horny
[14:41]
Shut up hahaha
[14:41]
So obviously the latter
[14:42]
[PINNED LOCATION]
Here’s our apartment just let me know when you’re here and I’ll bring you up
[14:47]
Sounds good x
[14:47]
Here
[16:03]
—
HOUSEWIFE 👹
(Logan Sargeant)
Mon 22nd September 2025
Hey so bad news
I gotta come home
[19:39]
What happened?
[19:40]
Charlie and his gf are fighting
Over our uber order of all things
But its suuuuuper uncomfy and she’s just told me to leave
[19:41]
Ah shit mate
We’re just watching a movie at the moment
How long will you be?
[19:42]
About 30 mins
Sorry mate don’t mean to cockblock u
Can you go to Lando’s hotel?
[19:43]
Damn okay let me see what I can do
[19:44]
We can’t go back his I think one of his boys is staying in his room tonight
They got some weird share swap thing happening haha
[19:48]
Happy to just hide in my room if you want?
[19:49]
I’ll just see if he’s comfortable with that
Yeah he said don’t be a stranger hahaha
[19:49]
I’m not joining you for a threesome but tell him thanks for the invite
[19:50]
Mate no way I would let you I’m not willing to share this one
[19:51]
He’s all yours dw
[19:51]
We’ll stay in my room so you don’t need to stay locked up
[19:52]
Can I have your headphones yours are better than mine
[19:53]
Yeah I’ve just put them on your bed
[19:54]
Thanks mate
About 20 mins away if you wanna get something over and done with haha
[19:55]
Already done need some time to recover
[19:56]
YUCK
[19:57]
You did ask
[19:57]
When
[19:57]
Just coming up now
[20:13]
Tues 23rd September 2025
Is it safe to come out
[07:15]
Yeah he’s just left
By the way Thursday morning we might come into the cafe
[07:20]
Damn even my work isn’t a safe place for me anymore
[07:20]
Just about to make breakfast then head to work did you want some
[07:26]
What’s on the menu
[07:27]
To be honest I think we can only do eggs and toast with what we’ve got in the fridge
[07:27]
I’ll do a shop today for us
Send a list
[07:28]
Will do it on my lunch break
[07:28]
Bacon
[12:02]
Ok I’ll just get 5kg of bacon for you mate
[12:04]
Sorry got called in to do the safety briefing
Apples you know the ones I like
Museli bars
Dish soap
[12:35]
Sounds like you’re making a feast
[12:36]
Can you please check if we’re out of bin bags
[12:42]
Got it
Anything else
Lube??
[12:43]
Jesus
[12:43]
Yeah let’s add that one to the list too
[12:44]
Shut up
[12:45]
Just thinking about you
You’ll get to your 10th hook up with this dude and then you’ll be thanking me for buying you an extra bottle
[12:46]
I don’t need you buying this stuff for me
He’s not even here for that much longer haha
[12:46]
True
Get it in while you can mate
Before you go on a dry spell again
[12:47]
Wanna talk about dry spells???
[12:50]
Nah I’m not the topic of convo here
[12:50]
[PHOTO]
This one good for you?
XTRA slippery apparently
[13:26]
Put that away
[13:27]
2 for 1 special
[13:27]
I’m muting you
[13:27]
—
BOSS MAN
(Mark Webber)
Tues 23rd September 2025
Hey Oscar. Just missed you today when you were leaving site. Got some prevailing winds Thursday arvo and had to shift the tour to the early morning. Had some cancellations for the change so won’t be too many on board. You good to work 7am on the Thurs instead?
[17:13]
Sorry mate just finished the drive. I should be okay to do that
Know what time we’ll be back on the dock?
[17:37]
10am at the latest
Any issues just let me know
[17:38]
Nah no worries. I’ll do it
[17:39]
Thanks mate.
[17:40]
—
LANDO 🇬🇧
(Lando Norris)
Tues 23rd September 2025
Hey I’ve just had a shift change for Thursday so can’t do the cafe that morning
Sorry
[17:41]
Don’t be sorry x
Still okay for tomorrow night though?
[17:41]
If you’re not busy we could do after 10am?
And yeah still okay for tomorrow
[17:42]
I’ll just check if the boys have anything planned
Shift changes happen much? Must be a fuck around
[17:43]
Yeah all the time. Can’t do much about it though
The weather will do what the weather wants
[17:43]
Fair enough
[17:43]
But probably doesn’t help I can’t say no to my boss haha
[17:44]
Gotta learn at one point mate
Told my boss to get fucked when he wouldn’t approve my leave to come here hahaha
[17:44]
How’d that go down?
[17:45]
Don’t know I haven’t spoken to him since I left without notice hahaha
Didn’t officially quit either so I’ll find out when I’m back if I still have a job or not
[17:45]
I think my boss would send out a search party if I did that
[17:46]
That’s the difference
Your boss likes you
Mine doesn’t remember my name even after being there for 3 years
[17:46]
Probably a good thing you left then
[17:46]
Was it hard to get your job?
[17:47]
Wouldn’t say hard but had to do a few qualifications
Got a lot of help from the boss man I started off in their office and eventually got onto doing charters with the guests and stuff once I was qualified
Still getting some extra qualifications now actually
[17:47]
What made you choose this line of work?
[17:47]
I came here on a family holiday as a kid and we did a snorkel charter
Same company actually but run under some different people at the time
I needed to get out of Melbourne once I finished school and did schoolies on the Gold Coast and didn’t want to leave
That’s how I met Logan actually
[17:48]
Schoolies?
[17:48]
Aussie tradition I guess is a way to put it
When you finish Year 12 and you go and party for a week
[17:49]
That sounds sick
[17:49]
Yeah good time and met some good mates
But Logan and I kept in touch over a couple of years
He moved to the Sunshine Coast for his work at the time and he needed a roommate so I made the move in 2021
[17:50]
Think it’d be hard for me to get a job here?
[17:51]
Depends on what you’re looking at
You thinking about it?
[17:51]
Not sure yet but the thought has crossed my mind a lot more recently
I’ve always wanted to travel Australia and since coming here I love it a lot more than I thought I would
[17:52]
You’d probably have no issues with finding a job
Just need to get your visas sorted first
[17:53]
Yeah looked into that last night actually hahaha
[17:53]
Would you move to the Sunshine Coast or Brisbane?
Or somewhere different
[17:54]
Melbourne was actually a thought
But Sunshine Coast is feeling a little more home tbh
Plus I know a pretty cool tour guide here and would like to get to know him a little more
[17:55]
Think the tour guide would be happy to have you here
[17:55]
[Lando heart reacted to your message]
Still do need to go back to the UK for a bit to sort my shit out
And quit if I haven’t been fired hahaha
But you’ll be my first message if I’m coming back
[17:56]
Sounds good
I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon hahaha
[17:56]
Also boys said Thursday lunch they wanna go back to that pub from last week
[17:57]
Fiends for their chicken parmies hey?
[17:58]
Sure are
I told them might not join them for this one if you wanted to do lunch somewhere instead?
[17:58]
I would love to
Just don’t want to take you away from your last week with the boys here
[17:59]
I’ve been with them for two weeks straight they’ll survive without me for a day or two haha
Besides I’m serious I want to get to know you more
You’re an interesting character Oscar Piastri
[17:59]
Hope that’s a good thing hahaha
[18:00]
Of course it is
So maybe cafe Thursday if it’s open??
[18:00]
Yeah it will be
Sounds good
[18:01]
You’re not just saying yes because you can’t say no right?
[18:02]
Well it is hard to say no to you
But I like spending time with you so win win
[18:02]
It’s a date
Wait is it ok to say that
[18:03]
Say what
[18:04]
That it’s a date
[18:04]
Don’t mean it in that way
Well maybe I do
No pressure sorry
[18:06]
Date is perfect
Does that mean I have to dress up
[18:07]
Yes
And then dress down after?
[18:08]
Absolutely
[18:08]
—
HOUSEWIFE 👹
(Logan Sargeant)
Thurs 25th September 2025
You two at home?
Just prepping myself so I don’t see balls slapping when I finish work
[13:55]
Nah we’re at the beach
Had to show him the bush you slept in that one night when we got trashed on New Years
[13:56]
NOT MY SPECIAL PLACE
[13:56]
He wanted the full tour of the coast so he’s getting it hahaha
[13:57]
Can’t believe you showed this guy you’ve known for a week something so sacred to me
[13:57]
Logan I’m not going to lie
He’s something else hey
Even just these few days with him I’ve never felt so comfortable with someone
[13:58]
I’ll just go fuck myself then
[13:58]
I’m struggling with the fact that he’s leaving next week
[13:59]
You still got another 6 days hey?
[14:00]
Yeah
[14:01]
Not your first hook up in 8 months being the love of your life
[14:01]
Wouldn’t go that far mate
[14:02]
It seems to be going that way
[14:02]
He's just refreshing
After so long of not having that you know
[14:03]
What’s stopping you from keeping in touch with him when he’s back in the UK?
[14:04]
Anything long distance is impossible
Even if it is friendship
Or whatever we're doing
[14:05]
We made it happen for two years and look at us now xx
[14:06]
Yeah but you just happened to need a roommate and I just happened to need to get out of Melbourne
[14:07]
Wow so you’re saying
If you never came here we wouldn’t be friends??
[14:08]
Mate I’m serious
[14:08]
So am I
Answer the question
[14:08]
Of course we would still be friends
[14:09]
Exactly we worked out perfectly
So what’s stopping you from doing the same with him
[14:09]
It’s not a one way street
He’ll not just be in another state. He’ll be in a whole different country with a different timezone and shit
Plus add the fact we're fucking and hanging out and shit like friends with benefits?
[14:10]
So set those expectations with him now???
[14:11]
It's been a week?? That's enough to scare anyone off
How do I bring it up without seeming like I’m obsessed with him
[14:12]
Well you are obvi
What if he feels the same way
You don’t need to profess your undying love mate just tell him that you like him even as friends and you’d like to keep it going
You can work it out later down the road if you wanna make it something more but at least you got a baseline
[14:13]
Yeah that's still coming off too strong
[14:14]
Mate it’s called dating
[14:15]
What if I’m just his Aussie fuck and he gets weirded out
[14:16]
Didn’t you say he called last night and today a date?
[14:16]
Yeah
But I think he was just being nice
Or maybe a date means something different in the UK like going out with the lads
[14:17]
Bro you’re not this dumb istg
[14:17]
I don’t know
Just every day we’ve seen each other for something we’ve hooked up by the end of it
So it’s not too far fetched to think that
[14:19]
Yeah but a fuck would just message you for the root
Not plan a whole ass activity around it
[14:20]
Hmmm yeah right
[14:20]
Just fucking talk to him
You literally just said you’ve never felt so comfortable around someone
And if he gets weirded out well you won’t be in the same hemisphere as him in 6 days lmao
[14:21]
Very true
I might just wait until the last day to say something
[14:22]
Don’t do that
If you get it done now at least you’ll have the next few days with some clarity between you both
Like if he only wants to be friends then yeah that's fine stay friends
If he only wants to fuck then just do that
But if he says he wants something more then you don't need to hold back
[14:25]
Ughhh
When did you become my relationship coach
[14:26]
When you decided to use 2 brain cells to both not think and overthink this entire situationship
[14:27]
Thanks
[14:27]
Just want you to be happy mate
But seriously figure your shit out or it’ll bite you in the ass
[14:28]
When will you be home?
[15:12]
Just got back
Why
[15:13]
Nevermind we’re going to Lando’s
[15:21]
Did you talk to him
[15:21]
Oscar
[15:34]
You better not be fucking him again without talking to him about this entire thing
[16:12]
You’re doing it aren’t you
[16:35]
I’m hiding all these pastries from you
[16:48]
Coming home
We didn’t talk I chickened out
[17:55]
For fucks sake
[17:56]
—
SC ADVENTURE TOURS 🛥️
(You + 12 Other Members)
Fri 26th September 2025
Mark W.
Hi crew. Next month’s shift roster is out. Please let me know if there’s any issues.
[LINK ATTACHED]
[08:30]
Aleshia D.
Thanks @Mark Webber 👍
[08:46]
Daniel R.
Hey mate sorry got an appointment on the 3rd Oct. Any chance to swap me out? Can do a morning snorkel if one is planned but not free after 12pm.
[08:58]
Mark W.
There's no morning planned but we’ll make it work. Any takers?
[08:59]
Jack D.
I’ll take it @Mark Webber
[09:06]
Daniel R.
Legend thanks @Jack Doohan 😘
[09:07]
Oscar P.
Not this roster but any chance of a shift swap on the 30th of this month? Sorry it’s late notice
[09:15]
Mark W.
Will look into it mate.
[09:16]
Daniel R.
@Oscar Piastri must be something important if you’re asking for a day off 🤔
[09:24]
Oscar P.
Just some family leaving and would like to take them to the airport
[09:28]
Mark W.
Didn’t realise they were in town. Could have given you some extra time off.
[09:29]
Oscar P.
Nah all good. Only a quick visit
[09:30]
Rhi S.
Happy to take it from you @Oscar Piastri if we can swap my 17th Oct?
[09:35]
Mark W.
Your 17th is a dive @Rhi Saunders. Oscar’s not quite there yet.
[09:36]
Rhi S.
Ah sorry didn’t read that properly on the sched
[09:36]
Oscar P.
All good if it doesn’t work out @Mark Webber
[09:40]
Daniel R.
@Oscar Piastri I’ll do the 30th for my 8th Oct?
[09:48]
Oscar P.
Happy with that
[09:49]
Mark W.
You lot make my job very easy. Thank you.
[09:50]
Daniel R.
@Mark Webber guess that means the Xmas Party is going to be more than Pizza Hut and Great Northerns on the dock this year?
[09:51]
Mark W.
@Daniel Ricciardo might splurge on the good stuff this year if you keep up the good work.
[09:52]
Liam L.
What he means to say is he’ll actually put the beers in the fridge this time around 🤣
[09:56]
Daniel R.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
[09:58]
—
DANIEL RICCIARDO
Fri 26th September 2025
So taking Lando to the airport hey
[10:01]
How’d you make that connection?
[10:04]
3 years I’ve known you and the only time I’ve ever heard you sook is when your family asked you to visit them but they’ve never made the effort to come see you here
Also you haven’t shut up about this guy who I know is leaving Aus soon
[10:05]
I’ve never sooked about it
Just ranted
[10:06]
Am I wrong though
[10:06]
Yeah but don’t say anything please
I don’t want Mark to think I’m sleeping with every customer we have
[10:09]
Stays between you and me mate 🤫
[10:10]
—
LANDO 🇬🇧
(Lando Norris)
Fri 26th September 2025
Hey if you need someone to take you guys to Brisbane for when you fly out I have the day off
Logan said he’s happy to help too
Saves you public transport or 2 very expensive Ubers
[10:30]
Oscar you’re the complete other direction to the airport???
Are you sure???
[10:33]
Yeah we don’t mind a day trip
[10:34]
God you’re amazing
Thank you
Seriously
[10:34]
Anytime
[10:35]
Best tour guide ever x
[10:36]
Just doing my best for that 5 star review
[10:36]
You’re getting 6 stars
Kinda sucks that we’re talking about us leaving already
[10:38]
Still a little bit away yet
[10:39]
Yeah but feels like I haven’t done as much as I wanted
[10:40]
What else is on your list?
[10:40]
Just a couple of things
Still gotta get that sunrise in haha
Idk just feeling a bit like
Unaccomplished
[10:41]
Hope I didn’t stray you too much off track
[10:42]
God no
You’ve been the best part
I’ve had so much fun with you
[10:43]
Same
But you came here with your friends and I feel like I’ve distracted you from your reason of coming here
[10:44]
Don’t say that
The boys don’t mind that I’ve gone on my own little adventure
If they were I would like to think they were just jealous hahaha
[10:44]
Dogging the boys is definitely a sin here hahaha
[10:45]
I’m going to assume that means something completely different in Australian lingo haha
[10:46]
What’s it mean for you?
[10:46]
An exhibitionist thing
Like watching someone have sex
[10:46]
Oh shit haha yeah that means something completely different here
Means doing something wrong for your benefit when you all said you wouldn’t
Like going home without notice on a night out usually for a hook up
[10:47]
Nah they definitely encouraged it haha
They were the reason I reached out to you actually
[10:48]
Oh yeah really?
[10:48]
Well I just said you were hot when we got off the boat
You in your swimsuit and big ass flippers
And when we went into the office to get the pictures that the crew took Max decided to book the whale watch for the next day so I could try slide in hahaha
[10:49]
How’d you know I’d be working the next day?
[10:49]
Just my luck I guess haha
Also tried my luck getting your number and that worked out well
[10:50]
I’m glad hahaha
[10:50]
But I think the boys were just looking out for me and wanted me to have a win for once
[10:51]
Why’s that?
[10:51]
Been a bit rough back at home
[10:51]
Don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to
[10:52]
Nah nothing too major
Just have an ex and hasn’t been the most cleanest of break ups
So was using Aus as a getaway plan with my mates
[10:53]
I’m sorry to hear that
[10:53]
I hope that doesn’t come across like I’m using you as a rebound
[10:54]
No not at all
[10:54]
Like we broke up at the start of the year
But yeah London is small enough somehow that dating sucks
Grindr is worse
[10:55]
Yeah I get that
It’s very dry here for dating but to be honest I’ve just been focused on work
Probably too focused
[10:55]
That’s not a bad thing
[10:56]
It is when you go 8 months without a hook up hahaha
[10:56]
Shit didn’t seem like that at all our first night
You got a magical mouth you know that
Highly recommend
[10:57]
Probably don’t put that in my tour guide review haha
[10:57]
Nah I’m keeping that to myself
Don’t really feel like sharing my little wonder
[10:58]
Can I ask you something?
[11:02]
Of course
[11:02]
Everything ok?
Your bubble keeps coming up and going away haha
[11:10]
Yeah fuck sorry
I’m just having a hard time wording this
[11:12]
You’re all good just teasing
[11:12]
Honestly getting to know you this past week has been such a great time
And won’t lie the thought of you leaving soon just has me stuck
[11:15]
How so?
[11:15]
Like I don’t know
I want to get to know you more
And like it’s only been such a short time but I guess I’m just a little lost on what to do next because I don’t want to just never talk to you again once you leave
[11:18]
Awww Oscar
I’ve had such a great time with you
You mean that though? For real?
[11:19]
Yeah fuck sorry if that sounds weird
[11:19]
Not weird at all x
[11:20]
I just didn’t want to come across as too full on too early
Like especially if you just actually wanted a tour guide
Or a hook up
[11:21]
I feel like I haven’t been the most subtle but maybe that’s just me haha
Like I genuinely want to get to know you more
I’m also a bit lost on what to do when we leave
[11:22]
You think we could stay in touch?
[11:23]
Of course
No way I would just delete your number the moment I leave Australia hahaha
[11:23]
Totally fine if you wanted to do that haha
[11:24]
Absolutely not
Glad we’re on the same page
[11:25]
Me too
Logan tried to force me to say something yesterday
Before we went back to the hotel
[11:25]
Yeah I had in my mind that you wanted to say something
You were a bit quieter
Until our clothes came off haha
[11:26]
You also have a magical mouth
And hands
[11:26]
Jesus now I’m thinking about you again
Any chance you’re free tonight?
[11:27]
Logan’s here so can’t do anything too noisy
[11:28]
I can be quiet
But we don’t have to do anything spicy lol
I just want to spend time with you
[11:29]
I can’t come to you?
[11:29]
Nah got a roommate tonight
But the amount of driving you’ve done and uber rides back and forth from our hotel is enough to send you broke
I need to make up for that
[11:30]
No you don’t
[11:30]
I’ll be happy to come to you x
[11:31]
Sounds good let me know when you’re here and I’ll come downstairs
[11:32]
Give me about 30 mins and I’ll be on my way
[11:33]
Here x
[12:21]
—
HOUSEWIFE 👹
(Logan Sargeant)
Sat 27th September 2025
Hey I’m going out for some food you two want anything?
[08:17]
Where you going
[08:18]
Fables
[08:18]
Yeah maybe a berry smoothie
One for Lando too please
[08:20]
Any actual food?
[08:23]
We’re good for now
Thank you
[08:24]
Nw be back in about 20
How’d last night go for you?
[08:25]
Good we talked a lot
[08:26]
Yeah no suspicious sounds last night
Thank god
[08:26]
Yeah kept our hands to ourselves for the sake of you hahahah
[08:27]
Good though right?
That you’re talking
[08:27]
Yeah just kinda went on more about what is going to happen when he leaves
[08:28]
And?
[08:28]
Guess we’re just going to see what happens
Keep in touch hope for the best
I haven't brought up anything about like dating because that's too intense but we'll just go with the flow
[08:29]
Stoked for you mate
[08:29]
I feel a little better knowing he didn’t just come here to get a fuck last night
[08:30]
Me too tbh
Saves my ears and sanity
[08:31]
They’re out of berry what do you want
Who the fuck runs out of berries
[08:34]
Can you get two green juices?
[08:35]
That’s definitely not one of your usuals
[08:35]
Lando said I should try it
[08:35]
Bro I’ve tried so hard to recommend you shit and you’ve never taken me up on it
And this dude recommends something as rancid as a green juice and you’re like why not
[08:36]
I’m a changed man
[08:37]
I miss the old Oscar
[08:37]
You made this happen mate hahaha
[08:37]
Yeah I better be the best man at the wedding
[08:38]
Now who’s coming off strong
Also yeah you will
[08:38]
😘😘😘
[08:39]
Lando’s showering just in case you wonder who’s in the bathroom
[08:41]
Thanks for the heads up
You guys doing anything today?
[08:41]
No plans but gotta work at 1pm
So can’t really do much
[08:42]
I’ll hide away in my room in case you wanted to use the apartment
[08:42]
You know you don’t need to
[08:43]
I know but tbh just want to chill out alone anyway
[08:43]
Got headphones?
[08:43]
Ok that wasn’t permission that you can bang one out
[08:44]
I’m joking
[08:44]
I do have them just in case
[08:44]
Good
[08:45]
Coming home now
[08:47]
—
LANDO 🇬🇧
(Lando Norris)
Sat 27th September 2025
Did I leave my sunglasses behind at yours?
[14:06]
I’ll check when I’m home x
[14:07]
How’s work going so far?
[14:07]
Good we’re just loading up the boat for a watch
Probably heading out in the next hour or so
[14:08]
You’re going to have a wicked day out for it
You really have such a great job
[14:09]
Can’t complain hahaha
Boys end up making arvo plans?
[14:09]
Yeah just at the pub
I think they want to party again tonight
But think I might just stay back in the hotel
[14:10]
Want some company?
[14:12]
Always
When do you finish up can you come straight from work
Saves you the drive back and forth
[14:12]
Yeah but your sunglasses?
To be honest don’t think you’d want me there straight after work
I’ll be smelling like salt
[14:15]
Meh I can get them another time
Salt smell is pure surfer vibes
That’s hot
[14:16]
Wish I could surf it would probably make me look a lot cooler
[14:17]
You’re plenty cool
Bit of a nerd about fish but that’s easy to look past
[14:17]
I need to know about fish
It’s my job to point out types of fish to people when they ask what it is
[14:18]
Surely people aren’t going to see a whale and ask if that’s a goldfish
[14:18]
You’d be surprised hahaha
[14:18]
Maybe your job isn’t so great lol
[14:19]
Nah you get some strange questions but nothing too crazy
It keeps it interesting
[14:19]
What’s the strangest you’ve had?
[14:20]
Definitely been asked about if there’s any emperor penguins that migrate up here
[14:22]
You’re joking
[14:22]
But I think the strangest was if someone could have my phone number
[14:23]
What a freak
And then what happened
[14:23]
Well he was super hot and found it really hard to concentrate on the safety briefing when he showed up in this loose linen shirt with all the buttons undone so you can see his abs
Nose had a little sunburn on it when he came in the next day because he and his friends booked two charters a day after the other like some stalker
[14:25]
Yeah bit fucked up that
[14:25]
And not to sound like a creep but his accent was just next level
And all I could think about was how good my name would sound coming out of his mouth if I had the chance to twist his cock in my hands
[14:26]
Jesus christ
[14:26]
Ended up hanging out with him even though he could have been a serial killer
[14:27]
I do not give serial killer energy
[14:27]
Yeah you’re major kitten vibes actually
[14:27]
Oh god even worse
[14:28]
Anyway turns out giving him my number was a great decision
[14:28]
[Lando heart reacted to your message]
Not gonna lie
You got me hard reading that
[14:30]
Feels odd to type that out while I’m trying to sort out equipment
My coworkers are just staring at me now I should probably go do my job
[14:31]
Ughhh how dare they
How long until you’re finished
[14:31]
I’ll try to be there by 7:30
[14:32]
Fuck ok
Thinking about how much I want you
[14:32]
I’ll be there soon x
[14:34]
Not soon enough
Might send a pic to get you to work faster
[14:35]
Do not do that I’ve just changed into my wetsuit
They’ll see everything
[14:36]
[PHOTO]
Sorry xx
[14:37]
Fuck
Lando
[14:38]
Fuck I wanna hear you say my name
In my ear
[14:39]
God wait
[14:39]
With my hand around you
Begging for me to let you finish
[14:40]
Mate I’m literally bricking up so much
I’m using a scuba tank to hide my dick
[14:41]
Just getting you ready for what’s to come x
[14:41]
You’re a menace for doing this to me
At work
Around my coworkers
In my wetsuit
[14:42]
To be honest the thought of you in that tight wetsuit is not making me want to stop jerking off right now
So I’m not gonna
[14:43]
Fuck I can’t wait to see you
[PHOTO]
[14:44]
Oh my god
Don’t do that
Zip that suit right back up
[14:44]
Just had to readjust it over my chest a little more sorry x
[14:45]
You fucking know exactly what you were doing you freak
[14:45]
I gotta go
Will message you as soon as I’m finished
[14:46]
Same
[14:46]
[PHOTO]
Finished 🙂
[14:50]
Thank god my phone was turned off in the office
You’re obscene
[18:52]
Get here now
[18:52]
On my way
[18:53]
—
HOUSEWIFE 👹
(Logan Sargeant)
Sat 27th September 2025
Did you die
[21:11]
No I’m at Lando’s
Sorry forgot to tell you
[21:25]
Ok have fun you cuties
[21:26]
Thank you
[21:27]
—
DANIEL RICCIARDO
Sun 28th September 2025
Hey no rush because just doing a clean down
But you’re 15 mins late
[12:17]
What?
I’m not in until 2pm right?
[12:18]
[PHOTO]
12pm on the roster
[12:19]
Oh fuck
I’m so sorry I’ll be there soon
[12:19]
How long? Bossman hasn’t noticed so you’re good
[12:20]
30 min
[12:22]
Must have had a hell of a night last night
Where was my invite
[12:23]
Nah mate you wouldn’t have wanted to be here
[12:24]
You naughty boy
[12:24]
Shut up
If Mark says anything just let him know I fucked up. Don’t give any bullshit
[12:25]
You’re the golden child
You could miss a week’s worth and you’d still have a job
[12:26]
Unlikely
[12:26]
Wanna test it out?
[12:26]
Nope
[12:27]
I miss making bets with you
[12:27]
How? You always lose
[12:27]
Like how I lost that you’d enjoy Lando’s charter?
[12:28]
That wasn’t a mutual bet
[12:28]
But was I wrong
[12:28]
You win one time and your ego is as big as your nose
[12:28]
Cunt
I might just go make Mark aware of the roster now for that
[12:29]
Fine I was ready to admit my mistake anyway
[12:29]
Hope you like polishing the deck
[12:30]
—
LANDO 🇬🇧
(Lando Norris)
Sun 28th September 2025
Finished up?
[18:01]
Just got out
The clean down was a bitch hahaha
[18:48]
I’m so sorry
[18:49]
For what?
Not your fault
[18:49]
Yeah but you were distracted
[18:50]
Mate you absolutely have no blame here hahaha
Just misread the roster this week that’s all
[18:50]
I know but we were up late last night
Then going to work exhausted
[18:51]
Doesn’t matter if it’s a 12pm or a 2pm I would have had the same amount of sleep
[18:51]
Still feel bad
You at home now?
[18:52]
Yeah your sunnies are here by the way
[19:21]
Great
I bought a new pair today anyway so all good
Keep mine as a souvenir xx
[19:21]
You’re supposed to be the one collecting souvenirs hahaha
Get a good shopping spree in then?
[19:22]
Yeah kinda just went out for a little look around
Taking in the last couple of days
[19:23]
See anything interesting?
[19:23]
Nothing as good as you
[19:24]
On a new man hunt then?
[19:24]
Oh god no
That came out so wrong
I meant the things we saw in the stores hahaha
[19:25]
Only pulling the piss
[19:25]
Up to much tonight?
[19:26]
Just cooking up some pasta now with Logan and probably hit bed as soon as possible
[19:27]
Well deserved
You’re probably sick of me by now so we don’t need to see each other
But you free for a call after dinner?
[19:27]
Not sick of you at all
But yeah would love to
Might fall asleep while talking so keep that in mind haha
[19:28]
My voice that boring?
[19:28]
Soothing
[19:29]
You’re sweet
[19:29]
I’ll let you know when we finish up x
[19:29]
No problems I’ll be here x
[19:30]
Still up?
[20:14]
I should ask you that haha
Yeah I’m here
[20:14]
[Voice call 24 mins 28 seconds]
[Video call 32 mins 11 seconds]
Mon 29th September 2025
When did I fall asleep hahaha
[07:19]
After you came haha you were out like a light
[07:20]
Surely we didn’t take that long did we
[07:20]
Nah to be honest
I did watch you sleep for a little bit
[07:21]
Should I be scared?
[07:21]
You’re so peaceful when you sleep
Hard to ignore it
[07:22]
Might have to try that on you sometime
[07:22]
Plenty of calls to be had very soon
We’ll have our across the world sleepovers
[07:22]
I would love that
Still going to Logan’s cafe today?
[07:23]
Yeah no better way to spend our last day
The croissants are elite
[07:24]
Gonna try the pistachio one today?
[07:25]
Absolutely
Gotta get at least one more Oscar Piastri recommendation in to complete the trip
Oscar Pastry rec
[07:26]
Might have to start a blog with that name
[07:26]
I’d be your blog’s biggest fan
Still up for me to come to you later?
[07:27]
Yes
Feel free to bring your suitcase to put in my car for the morning
[07:27]
Sounds good
Fuck not gonna lie
I’m a little sad
[07:28]
Same but we don’t need to stop
[07:28]
I know
But I just don’t know when I’ll be back
[07:29]
There’s no pressure to come back soon
We’ll be able to talk whenever we want
[07:29]
Hopefully I can come back in the next 12 months
So the visa won’t be too much of a fuck around
[07:29]
Or I can try come see you sometime
[07:30]
I’d love to have you here
And you got a free place to stay you just gotta put up with my roommates
[07:30]
I’ve always wanted to visit the UK
Just want to finish my courses first so one less thing to pay off but that’s not too far away
[07:31]
Thought your work would compensate you for that?
[07:31]
Somewhat
But not technically a requirement for me to get my divers but Mark still put towards it just for the benefit of having an extra one on hand
[07:32]
What a good bloke
[07:32]
Bloke hey?
You’re turning Aussie hahaha
[07:32]
Must be the side effects of having you in me
[07:33]
Good side effect
[07:33]
Hope it doesn’t go away anytime soon
[07:34]
You’re going to be that annoying cultured person that only speaks the country’s lingo after a trip when you get back
[07:35]
Well people will ask why I talk like this now
And I’ll be able to use that as an excuse to ramble on about this guy I met on the trip
And about how he has this awesome job
Knows too much about fish
But gives the best recommendations for anything on the Sunshine Coast
[07:36]
Can’t wait for the new customers we get from that description hahaha
Glad to be of service x
[07:36]
You should seriously do that blog
[07:37]
I have the technology skills of a baby boomer
[07:37]
Makes sense as to why you read your roster wrong
[07:37]
Exactly
But if I ever get sick of the job at least I know I now have a back up plan
Or if I get fired
[07:38]
They’d be losing a gem of an employee either way
Gonna go be present with the boys for the drive to the cafe I’ll chat with you soon x
[07:38]
No worries let me know how the croissant goes x
[07:38]
Absolutely
[07:38]
They ran out 🙁
[08:13]
No way
That’s devastating
[08:13]
You’re telling me hahaha
[PHOTO]
Got this instead
[08:16]
The next best thing hahaha
[08:16]
Facts
Logan says hello
[08:16]
Can you tell him to bring me a couple home if there’s any left when he finishes haha
[08:17]
[PHOTO]
Got you a couple already hahaha x
[08:20]
You’re my favourite
[08:20]
🥰🥰🥰🥰
[08:21]
Please don’t leave
[08:21]
🙁🙁🙁🙁
I’ll see you soon x
[08:24]
—
HOUSEWIFE 👹
(Logan Sargeant)
Tues 30th September 2025
How did we manage to get here before you hahaha
[12:12]
Boys needed a toilet stop at the servo
Just parking up now
[12:24]
Okay we’re on the left end side of the terminal
[12:25]
Walking in now
See you
[12:36]
—
LANDO 🇬🇧
(Lando Norris)
Tues 30th September 2025
Security was a disaster lol
Does Australia have a secret foot fetish
I had to take off my shoes for screening???
[13:16]
Thought that was a normal thing in airports haha
[13:16]
And also got swabbed
Do I look that suss?
[13:17]
You’re asking me like you didn’t admit to me yesterday that you watched me when I slept hahaha
[13:18]
Should have whispered that in his ear when he was wiping the stick over me
[13:18]
You would have definitely been flagged hahaha
Then kicked off the flight
[13:19]
Maybe that’s what I wanted to happen
[13:19]
Well you still have a chance to do that
[13:19]
That way I could have a few extra days with you
[13:20]
Don’t do anything illegal
Otherwise your few extra days will be in jail
[13:20]
True
Then I would get kicked out of the country anyway
And not let back in ever again
[13:21]
So probably not our best plan
[13:21]
Unfortunately
Good teamwork though
What you up to now?
[13:22]
Just having lunch in the cafe here
[13:22]
You still in the airport?
[13:22]
Yeah
Wanted to wait until your flight took off
[13:23]
If I knew you were going to do that I wouldn’t have gone through security
[13:24]
Didn’t want to make you late
[13:24]
We still have another hour before boarding haha
[13:25]
Honestly I think Logan got traumatised by your mates on the drive hahaha
So he probably needs a minute to recover
[13:25]
I’m not surprised they’re full on haha
Tell him I said thank you please for doing this
And thank you too
[13:26]
Anytime
I’m glad to be here
[13:26]
You’re the very best person I’ve met in a very long time
I really don’t want to leave
[13:28]
I know
We’ll keep in touch I promise
[13:28]
Did Logan have those photos?
[13:29]
Yeah he does
I’ll send it to you soon he’s 32 teeth deep in his food at the moment
[13:29]
I wanna keep them in my memories folder
Along with a few other ones
[13:30]
Which ones made the cut?
[13:30]
[PHOTO]
This one in particular is my favourite
[13:32]
Why does my face look like that
[13:32]
Blame the neon lights
I swear the mini golf place had them at full blast just to disorientate you
[13:33]
You say that because you lost
[13:33]
I let you win x
[13:33]
Okay sure
[13:33]
[PHOTO]
This one is a high contender too
[13:35]
Cropped very specifically that one
[13:35]
It was the camera’s fault
It likes your abs as much as I do
[13:36]
Is that the photo you’re going to show when you’re showing Australian beaches to your friends?
[13:37]
Well now I am
[13:37]
I should have taken more photos
[13:37]
I’ll link you to this album if you want
So you can have these too
[13:38]
I would love that
Any side quests of yours on it too? Not just a million photos of me looking like a menace hahaha
[13:38]
I can add some in for your benefit
[13:39]
Please do
I have regret not taking any photos of you
Or of us together
[13:39]
We do have one now at least
Despite it being on the same day I left the country haha
[13:40]
Yeah not the best memory to hold behind it
[13:41]
Plenty of other memories in the other photos though
I love the idea that I took a whole lot of you
Like shows how I see you from my perspective almost
[13:41]
That’s deep
[13:42]
I was trying to be sentimental you muppet
[13:42]
I know
Will keep that in mind when I go through them x
[13:42]
Boys wanna check out the duty free I’ll be back soon x
[13:44]
Get yourself some tim tams
[13:44]
—
HOUSEWIFE 👹
(Logan Sargeant)
Tues 30th September 2025
[PHOTO]
[PHOTO]
[PHOTO]
[PHOTO]
[13:52]
Are you sitting on the shitter messaging me our photos
[13:52]
Well you asked for them ASAP
Before Lando boards his flight
[13:53]
Thanks
[13:53]
The last one of you two is very cute
Should use it as your hard launch on instagram
[13:54]
There’s nothing to launch
[13:54]
Whatever you say
[13:54]
—
LANDO 🇬🇧
(Lando Norris)
Tues 30th September 2025
Got them
4 packets
[14:15]
Did you get different flavours?
[14:15]
Was I supposed to
[14:16]
At least tell me you got double coat
[14:16]
I got the original?? I think??
[14:17]
You got 4 packets of original?
[14:17]
I panicked
[14:17]
Could have done worse hahaha
4 would be gone in a week with me
[14:18]
I’m gonna save them for a time when I miss you
[14:18]
We can ft and eat them together
[14:19]
What if I run out
[14:20]
I’ll send you some
For Christmas
[14:22]
You would? 🥹
[14:22]
Of course
Also
[PHOTO]
[PHOTO]
[PHOTO]
[PHOTO]
[14:24]
Love love love these
[14:26]
You look really cosy under my arm
[14:27]
Well would like to hope so with you kissing my head hahaha
Wait are you saying I’m short
[14:28]
Nope
[14:29]
We’re the same height
[14:29]
The photos don’t lie
[14:30]
Ok well I blamed the neon lights for you
So maybe you did look bad in that photo
[14:31]
Wow be glad that you’re about to board that flight
[14:32]
You don’t scare me
[14:33]
Says the one who’s coincidentally leaving the country right after I called him out
[14:33]
Could just not board my flight
[14:34]
Could you
[14:34]
I wish
Speaking of which
The time has come
[14:35]
Fuck
[14:35]
Just about to go line up now
[14:36]
I’m gonna miss you
[14:36]
I’m gonna miss you too
Hang on they’re just checking my ticket I’ll message when I’m on the plane
[14:39]
Okay x
[14:39]
Back
Not for long though
[14:47]
Good seat?
[14:47]
Pretty decent
Did my photo send through?
[14:48]
No I got nothing
[14:48]
Fuck my reception is pretty bad
[14:49]
What was it?
[14:49]
Just a photo of my window seat
Was hoping I could see you from the tarmac
[14:50]
I’m on the other side of the airport hahaha
Maybe you could see us outside when you’re taking off
[14:51]
Very little chance hahaha
But I’ll keep an eye out
A scruffy boy with white sweatpants and black shirt
[14:52]
So a very easy target to spot hahaha
[14:52]
When it’s you
Yes
[14:53]
Hoping that’s a good thing
[14:53]
Eyes only for you x
I need to go now they’re doing the final check over
I’ll message when I’m in Doha if my coverage works there
Or if you’re awake hahaha
[14:54]
Don’t worry if not
Just let me know when you’re back home safe
No matter what time it is here
[14:55]
Thank you for just the most incredible time
I’m going to miss you
[14:55]
Thank you
Until next time x
[14:56]
Not too far away x
I’ll make sure of that
[14:57]
Have a good flight xxx
[14:57]
Wed 1st October 2025
Just landed in Doha
Just realised it’s like 5am in Australia haha
Hope you have a good day at work x
[05:23]
Just woke up
You’re probably on the way to London by now but hope everything goes okay x
Should be 4pm here when you arrive and I’ll just be finished up work so up for a call if you’re not too tired
[08:32]
Just got in
It’s so gloomy I hate it
[16:54]
Show me
[16:54]
[PHOTO]
I look like a drowned rat hahaha
[16:56]
You look wonderful
Even after 24 hours of flying
[16:57]
I miss you already
Ft when I get back in my apartment?
[16:58]
You aren't tired?
But of course if you’re up for it
[17:00]
Got a few hours of sleep in but wanna try stay awake
To stop jetlag hitting too hard
[17:01]
More than happy to help with that
[17:01]
Will be another hour if that’s ok
[17:04]
I’ll be here x
[17:05]
All good?
[18:15]
Yep
[18:16]
[Video call 82 mins 43 seconds]
Already miss you
[19:39]
Miss you more
[19:39]
[You changed Lando 🇬🇧's contact to Lando 🥰]