Chapter Text
Peter is one hot piece of ass but the kid’s so blushy and modest about himself; he never notices when people are actually making a pass at him.
Wade, on the other hand, is not so oblivious. Sometimes he wishes he was, because honestly the amount of people hitting on Peter lately has been getting ridiculous. Before Peter and he became an exclusive item, they were mainly friends with benefits, friends with some serious benefits. But because of their lack of exclusivity, Wade had never been around Peter enough to notice his boyfriend was like- the poster boy- of superheroes.
During their platonic relationship, things were good. They had known each other for quite some time, close to three years. And what had begun as stilted, icy confrontations slowly, and I mean slowly, transformed into mutually beneficial combat aid, which then developed into a hesitantly realized ambience of mutual respect, which then somehow became sporadic late night rooftop chats, and then inexplicably became the careful chipping away of pre-erected personal barriers.
That was a big sudden step.
Okay, so they didn’t click immediately. Can you blame them? They didn’t necessarily have much in common except they both wore red and donned masks.
Wade was a well- known killer and Peter was a well- established hero. Deadpool had no use of the law and Spiderman was created to abide by it. Peter’s Spiderman was reserved and textbook, while Wade’s Deadpool was unpredictable and senselessly uncensored. The other Avengers would warn him about him too, saying how unstable and violent he was- basically telling Peter to ‘stay away’ in so many words.
But as years passed, their interactions became more frequent, out of sheer chance more than anything, as both of them primarily operated in New York. Their first interaction wasn’t the best. Steve had ordered him convince Wade to stop taking hits on international heroes, lest he be kicked out of NY. Peter didn’t know what to expect, but he did expect some degree of proper communication. But Wade had replied with two strategic shots to Peter’s feet and a middle finger, before slipping away.
Nevertheless their relationship began to grow closer, familiarity becoming a comfort. They’d always catch glimpses of one another atop roofs or in alleyways during the night. Both of them worked alone, every night, unlike most of the other Avengers. Occasionally, Wade would spot him crouching atop some rooftop and shout things like, “Hey Spidey cakes!” or “Hey web head!”
Peter would ignore him of course but unfortunately, sometimes Wade was the only company around. It slowly, and inexplicably, progressed to the point where they revealed their secret identities to one another, well, Peter did.
Wade didn’t have one which may have been a reason why Peter trusted him enough to take off his mask in the first place.
They were on their most visited rooftop, the Oscorp building that sprawled its billion- dollar looming- design high across the sky of New York City and lay eyelevel, only a few blocks away, from the Stark Industries behemoth, the neon blue STARK burnt brightly into Peter’s eyes but he still liked to look at it anyways.
Wade had managed to sneak up on him, again, which never failed to unnerve Peter. The mercenary flung his long legs over the metallic, square air duct Peter was sitting on and flopped down close to the young hero.
They had just finished taking down a crime mob that had been terrorizing the Bronx, and after any good team up, Wade and him routinely met up on the Oscorp rooftop to hash things out and unwind. Wade had become good, reliable company almost a sort-of friend.
“Where you been?”
“Aw, been waitin’ up on me Spidey?” teased Wade, nudging Peter’s foot with his own.
Peter scoffed, “No.”
They were quiet for a minute. Then as usual, Wade broke the silence.
“You feelin’ okay Spidey?”
“Yeah, I feel fine.”
“Thought I saw you get smacked pretty hard on the head, you sure you don’t have a concussion? Concussions are at an all- time high for active young people nowadays.”
Peter rolled his head to the side, giving Wade an un-amused look.
“I don’t get concussions and I’m not that young,” replied Peter, a bit indignantly.
“Sure thing baby cakes.”
“Wade seriously.”
“Okay well then how old are you?” questioned the mercenary, white eyes narrowing challengingly.
Peter exhaled tiredly.
“Can’t tell you Wade,” reminded the hero.
“Oh right, no personal information, you’ve got one of those pesky ‘secret identity’ things.”
“It’s not “pesky,”’ retorted Peter, “It’s important.”
“Yeah you don’t need to hero-exposition the whole meaning to me Spidey. I’ll just keep thinking you’re a fourteen year old, very into English and art high school student who lives with his two loving parents who work all the time, but make sure to love and dote on you when they get home after fourteen hour shifts.”
A brief snort of laughter escaped Peter, shaking his head amusedly at Wade’s random digression. Wade looked over at him, the corners of his lips turning upwards beneath his mask. The night was quiet for a moment.
“It’s science and math, not English and art,” revealed the younger man, a fond smile forming on his lips, remembering his awkward high school years.
Wade’s eyebrows shot up, the fabric of his mask clinging to the shifting of his skin. The merc’s mask was mysteriously, very expressive, after years of practice, Peter could easily read his every emotion. Clearly, Wade was surprised that Peter had told him something about himself, and for good reason, Peter up until this point was typically a very private person.
“Of course you’re a science and math person Spidey, of freakin’ course you are.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” pressed Peter, already preparing to roll his eyes.
“It means you’re a nerd,” supplied Wade smartly.
Peter rolled his eyes. “Ha-ha how predictable. Anyways, I was a science and math person. I’m not in school anymore… so not learning much nowadays.”
“Soo you’re at least sixteen. That’s the legal drop out age,” thought Wade aloud.
“Wade. How long have we known each other?”
The mercenary smiled dreamily, always dramatic, “Dunno, lose track of the time with you baby boy.”
“Three years Wade. It’s been three years.”
“Damn, why haven’t we gotten married?”
Peter laughed, “Shuddup.”
“For you, never,”
Peter ignored him. “I did manage to graduate, just so you know, and I’ve been Spiderman for longer than three years Wade so you can guess from there.”
“Ugh, guessing is so much work.”
“You’re so much work.”
“Why don’t you just take off your mask and then I’ll believe you’re older than thirteen.”
“Wade,” chastised Peter.
“Spidey,” mimicked the older man.
“Why can’t you just trust me?”
“But I do trust you! I trust you Spidey more than I trust anyone else, trust me. Or how else would you know my secret identity?”
“You don’t have a secret identity Wade. You introduce yourself as Wade Wilson to whoever you meet.”
“Well it is proper manners,” interjected the Merc.
“Well I am trying to keep someone safe… and retain some sort of privacy,” Peter lamented quietly.
The older man snorted. “Oh you got so much to learn Spidey,” spoke Wade, patting the top of Peter’s head.
The younger man slumped, having been routinely been told the same advice by every other super human. He wondered if it was his voice that made him seem so young, but he wasn’t completely sure. “M’kay.”
“I do trust you though Spidey, I think you’re the first person I’ve trusted in a long ass time.”
Peter raised one hand to piggyback atop Wade’s, still rapping lightly against his head. “Yeah I know.”
The tapping on Peter’s head continued amicably for a few more minutes. Both seasoned, troubled heroes looked out at the city below, watching yellow lights flash and cars zip around sharp corners.
Time was irrelevant in a city that never slept and to beings that never got older.
Wade’s free hand reached up to pull off his mask in one swift motion. He tossed the red and black material onto the rooftop’s gravel, exhaling long and hard, scrubbing a hand down his face. Peter turned to look at him once before returning his gaze back to the city.
“So much easier to breathe without that thing on,” spoke Wade, sliding his hand off Peter’s head.
“Yeah I can sympathize. Thor’s got it easy.”
“He’s got everything easy. He’s a Norse fucking god.”
“His face is also something off a dramatic romance novel for middle aged women with bad sex lives.”
“Maybe I’ll call him Fabio next time I see him. He’s got that whole exotic accent vibe goin’ for him.”
“I’ll call him Fabio if you do.”
Wade chuckled, his smile white and bright against the dark. Peter liked it when Wade smiled. The display was something so real and gentle, so unlike the merc’s flamboyant, brash personality. Peter had a good feeling the merc with the mouth smiled a lot for show, but never really smiled for real.
You know, unless it was with him, thought a selfish part within Peter. But then again, as of late, Peter had only really smiled when he was with Wade. Ugh, sometimes the hero had to stop and wonder how it all happened.
“Yeah, he’s got it lucky with his face,” said Wade quietly, after his smile went away.
Peter could tell his rooftop companion allowed some self-deprecation to slip into his tone.
“Wade,”
“What?”
“Wade.”
“What?” pressed the other man, pitch rising.
“It’s never bothered me,” the hero stated plainly.
Wade wasn’t nervous about taking his mask off in front of Peter anymore. They had moved past that a year ago. Sure Peter was surprised and a bit taken back at first by the degree of scarring on Wade’s face but he’d seen worse things. The guy didn’t even look that bad, and Peter felt touched that Wade would reveal his face to him, considering how insecure Wade was about it.
Peter had always taken into account Wade’s insecurities, ever since they began fighting together. Wade was strong and spirited naturally, but when the topic came to his body, the older man’s composure could slip easily. So Peter paid super- extra attention to never bring up Wade’s past or ask him to take off his mask or anything that could trigger bad memories. But sometimes Wade brought it up himself and Peter had to shut him down, before Wade’s dark thoughts could materialize.
“Yeah you’re one in seven billion Spidey.”
“Oh c’mon Wade, it’s- it’s a face,” Peter reminded gently.
Wade was dead silent for a few seconds. The young hero could’ve sworn he heard Wade mutter ‘Vanessa,’ under his breath but then the mercenary was up and turning away, grabbing his mask off the ground. Peter noticed one gloved hand aggressively twitching on the holster of his thigh pistol, Peter noticed that tick.
It was the tick Wade would do when he was anxious to shoot something or someone, usually himself. And hell no, hell no! - was Wade killing himself tonight- or ever- if Peter could stop it.
It took him a moment but Peter popped right up, grabbing onto the taller man’s forearm. Wade stopped immediately and glanced down at Peter’s hand then back up at Peter’s face then back down to where his arm was being gripped tightly.
“Uhh, Spidey,” his voice sounded strained, “Any reason why you’re using your super strength to hold onto me?”
Peter’s eyes bulged. “Oh god! Sorry! Didn’t mean to!” apologized Peter, hastily removing his hold on Wade.
“Didn’t know you wanted me to stay that bad,” teased Wade, rubbing circulation back into his arm, but the remark lacked any real mirth.
Clearly Wade wanted to be somewhere else, doing something else… the thought of it made Peter’s insides churn. He had seen it once before when Wade thought he was alone and Peter was just swinging in before hearing the gunshot and the thump of dead weight to the floor. To find your friend’s head scattered across the walls and floors’, dripping with blood was… horrific to say the least. Peter had very nearly fainted. Instead he waited up for hours for Wade to - grow another head back- and then proceeded to yell at him for giving Peter a “fucking heart attack you asshole!”
Peter may have latched onto him like a koala bear after that but no one needed to know. It was a one-time thing.
Now, Peter didn’t know how to handle the situation. Wade hated conversation that seemed to go an interventionist manner. He would bolt if Peter so much as mentioned the word ‘suicide’ so distraction seemed like the most logical choice. But alas, what to distract him with? Wade was looking anywhere but Peter, foot tapping anxiously against the gravel and fingers twitching at his sides.
“Look Spidey sorry I gotta cut this rendezvous short but I have something to take care of so I really should be-,”
“Don’t go yet,” blurted Peter.
Wade blinked down at him. “Um, Okayy…”
The taller man was looking down at him expectantly but words still couldn’t form in Peter’s mind. He stood there helplessly for a few seconds. “Umm..”
“Alright well then I’ll see ya’ round Spidey,”
And with that, Wade was turning and moving quickly towards the edge of the roof, preparing to make his escape. Peter felt desperation claw at his skin and his heart thump wildly. It was making his mind fuzzy, but all he knew was that he couldn’t let Wade go like this. He cared about the mercenary, more than he’d like to admit, and the thought of finding the man’s cold, dead body later was making him scared. And he never got scared anymore.
“Wade!” hollered Peter, running towards where the other man was preparing to jump down.
“Wade! Wade! Wait!”
He was nearing Wade’s figure but it still looked like he was going to jump. Peter began to run faster and call out louder.
When he finally reached Wade, the other man’s legs were dangling off the edge of the rooftop, poised and positioned to jump. Peter felt his throat close up but managed at the last second to get Wade’s attention.
“Wade,” panted Peter, waving his arms, “Just don’t go yet alright? You haven’t even made a comment about my ass yet!” Not the most eloquent thing he’s ever said- but hey- the effort was there.
Wade just regarded him silently atop the concrete slab, slowly hauling his legs back up onto the rooftop floor. Peter was expecting him to make some smart remark, but instead the merc continued to stare at him, jaw slack and eyes wide. Peter was very confused.
“Um, Wade?”
“And who the hell are you?” asked Wade, very pointedly, smile playing on his lips.
And that’s when Peter realized his mask was off. Shit.
He felt his cheeks heat up and gave Wade a sheepish smile, thinking oh fuck it.
“Uhh… yeah I’m Peter.”
Wade began to laugh, very enthusiastically, clutching a hand to his stomach.
“Oh man! Oh shit,” gasped the merc in between breaths, “Well fuck me Petey,” spoke Wade, hopping down, “I stand corrected. You could pass for eighteen.”
***
Soo that happened eight months ago and once the ice was broken, it was broken. They became closer as trust began to seriously build. Peter finally had someone to open up to. He even told Wade about Aunt May, who until then- was a secret Peter was convinced he was going to have to keep forever. Wade insisted, pinky promised, that he would keep all of Peter’s secrets. “It’s not like I have anyone to tell.”
They hung out a lot more too, not in a team up way, but a friendship way. They weren’t together twenty four seven but they saw each other enough to qualify as more than just business associates. Sometimes Peter would swing by Wade’s apartment, rip off his mask, throw himself onto the cotton couch, and muffle his voice into a pillow, venting about how annoying his boss was at the Bugle or how thick headed Tony Stark could be sometimes. Wade would just listen, throwing in an occasional comment, while polishing his katanas.
It was nice for him to have someone there. That continued on for a while, Spidey showing up randomly, striking up conversation whenever he had free time or was nearby. They grew pretty damn close and Wade was beginning to warm up to the idea of reoccurring company. Peter showed up one day, tossing his mask through Wade’s open window, landing perfectly on the coffee table, before following it- ducking in through the window pane. He was sucking on a practically empty Capri Sun, and Wade gave him a look.
“What?” a gargled slurp, “I need sugar after fighting bad guys,” supplied Peter defensively.
Wade scoffed, “Yeah, twenty five years old my ass.”
Peter webbed his feet together. And after that, Wade had kept packages of Capri Suns holed up in his refrigerator and if Peter asked, he could claim he was allowed to drink them because he was an adult. But going by the emptiness of his fridge and the multiple juice pouches strewn across his apartment, Peter knew they were for him.
***
Their friendship began to flip flop into something else after Wade had to go away for a while, employed on a months’ job to Tokyo. He didn’t leave a note or tell Peter he was leaving. He didn’t think it was important.
When he got back, exhausted but fifty thousand dollars richer, he was surprised- no more like bewildered- to find a certain Spider glaring at him from behind the kitchen island. He eased his shoulders and his duffel bags dropped to the floor with a loud clunk; then he gave a hesitant wave. Peter didn’t wave back. He vaulted over the counter with way too much grace and stalked right up to Wade’s chest.
“Where the hell have you been?” demanded Peter. He looked sulky.
Wade lifted his eyebrows, taken back by the confrontation. “Um sorry honey, I forgot to tell you. Work had me going abroad,” offered Wade, sweetly.
The younger man rolled his eyes, so cute and dramatic. “Okay and you didn’t tell me because?” pressed Peter.
Wade felt a smile toying at his lips. “Wait wait wait don’t tell me you actually missed me?”
Peter scowled, pushing at Wade’s chest.
Now, Wade fully expected the push that came his way, but he didn’t expect the sudden press of Peter’s lips against his own not even a second later.
He sure as hell didn’t expect it, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t welcome it. And after that, it was official: they were friends with some ‘serious’ benefits.
The sex was never slow or timid. Peter was surprisingly demanding in bed, always knowing what he wanted, and when he wanted it, and who was Wade not to give it to him? And Christ, Peter was so beautiful with his long, lithe body and smooth, pale skin, covering strong, well defined muscles. He also had a thick, bouncy ass, for the icing on the cake.
To sum it up, his body was perfection, and responded to Wade’s touch stunningly: back arching, neck exposing, and dick leaking as Wade pushed deep inside of him. Peter would always moan brokenly, the air caught in his throat, during the first thrust in. Their wildly indulgent sexual relationship was fervent throughout the hot summer months, until autumn descended and the air swirling about New York became lighter and cooler at night.
One fall morning, at exactly four twenty seven, because Wade’s memory is impeccable, the mercenary awoke with the spider snug and bare against his side. He realized, with startling clarity, two things at the exact same time. One: that Peter had been living in his apartment for a straight month and because of that, Wade hadn’t blown his head off in some time. Two: Peter had been keeping a spare suit besides Wade’s in the tiny wooden closet across from the bed. And if Wade said seeing Peter’s red and blue spidey suit next to his didn’t send him into an uncontrollable smiling fit, then he’d be a liar, a filthy fucking liar.
***
So that’s how they got here, with Wade silently fuming across the room while Peter caught up with the ‘Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.’ And what kind of stupid ass, overly dramatic superhero name was that? I mean honestly, thought Wade, the cheesiness of that nickname was fucking cringe worthy.
Wade was slumped in a chair, eyeing the pair closely, while weaving a small throwing knife between his fingers. You know, in case he needed it. They looked too friendly, way too friendly to not have been involved at some point. Just the thought made Wade’s blood boil. He wanted to stalk over there and snatch Peter away from Murdock’s appreciative gaze. And yeah, the guy’s blind but he still had a way of looking at Peter like he wanted to devour him.
Peter had insisted on stopping by to catch up with the vigilante, which was you know, suspicious in itself. Why did they need to stop by this beat up, low rent, not air conditioned lawyer office?
Oh yeah, Peter had told him, something about Matt needing extra information about a crime scene Peter was present at. Present, obviously because he was saving people not instigating it; his Petey is a goddamn hero.
Still, it was like nine at night, why was Murdock dressed to the nine in a figure hugging grey suit and skinny blue tie with his stupid hair perfectly styled to the side? Why was he leaning back against his desk, ‘invitingly’, with his cane standing between his legs and his hands resting- almost regally- atop its handle? Why was he smiling so much up at Peter? Why was Peter smiling so much back at Matt? Why were they both standing so close together? Wade didn’t like any of it.
He tried to calm his nerves, taking deep slow breaths; Wade’s horrible with being patient. But he figured if he could child out a bit, his enhanced senses would kick in and he’d be able to hear the two’s conversation. Not because he doesn’t trust Peter, because his boyfriend’s perfect, but because he doesn’t trust this Murdock guy… Even though he’s only heard really good things about him… but still!
***
It was really good to catch up with Matt. Peter hadn’t seen him in a while, Daredevil had been keeping himself super busy in the past year- all that with the Punisher and the ancient Japanese cults. Peter worried over Matt sometimes because despite his enhanced senses and fighting ability, he was still just a man.
Often times Peter had swung by Matt’s apartment to say hello and found the man groaning, bruised and shredded, on his couch. Good thing Peter was adept in first aid at this point in his superhero career, or else Matt would’ve bled out if it wasn’t for Peter’s patch work.
“So one more question, sorry to be so dull,” Matt apologized, ducking his head chivalrously.
Peter laughed. “No, it’s really okay. If it’s going to help you solve this case of course I’m willing to help you to my best ability, or more to my memory’s best ability,” joked Peter, realizing how corny it sounded as soon as he said it.
But the thing is about Matt, he never called Peter a dork or teased him on his awkwardness. He always smiled in response to Peter’s jokes, even the lame ones, and Matt’s ever present, gracious kindness has always stuck with Peter.
That’s what drew him to the man in the first place, but that was years ago when he was much younger and much more naïve. Matt was fantastic, handsome and polite, and irresistibly intriguing, but in the end, it was Peter who had decided they’d be better off as friends.
Peter just felt so young around Matt and okay to be fair he was young but Matt really made him feel it. And he didn’t do it intentionally. It’s just that the vigilante was always so dignified and resolute in himself, so well- grounded and introspective of his character and purpose. And that was back when Peter hardly knew who he was, and what he was supposed to do. Matt just oozed maturity and sensuality, and even though he never treated Peter anything but right, the younger man just so off balance in their relationship. Also Peter had no idea what Matt saw in him in the looks department. He was so ordinary looking and Matt was so chiseled and attractive. It made no sense. So it had to come to a close.
Also if Matt was ever upset about Peter breaking it off, he never showed it, and continued on their friendship as if nothing ever happened.
Matt coughed and Peter realized he had been daydreaming, completely missing the question uttered a minute ago. He shook his head quickly.
“Um sorry, could you repeat that?”
Matt looked very amused. He straightened himself up on the desk. “I asked-,” a slight pause, leaning in close, to make sure he still had Peter’s attention, “If you remember anyone else besides those two young men at the crime scene.”
“Oh!” exclaimed Peter, a tad too loudly, he winced, “No, sorry I- I don’t remember anyone else.”
“Nothing to be sorry about Peter,” responded the older man, smiling fondly at him.
Peter felt his face flush under such scrutiny. “Right, right yeah I know,” Peter mumbled, averting his gaze to the floor.
“So Peter,” said Matt, clapping his hands together, “Let’s talk about something else. I haven’t seen you in almost a year.”
Peter looked back up. “Oh yeah I know! I mean I know you’ve been really busy with all your Daredevil stuff lately so um, you know I didn’t want to bother you or anything,”
Matt broke out into a smile, charmed by the younger man’s quirkiness. “My ‘daredevil stuff’ has been keeping me busy lately,” Matt admitted coyly, “But you could never be a bother to me Peter. I always look forward to seeing you.”
“Oh yeah same, to you too! I always look forward to seeing you too. Yeah, I’ll visit more. You know if you want me to,” said Peter, very un-articulate.
Matt pushed himself up, and rested his cane against the desk, suddenly standing very close to Peter. And despite being ‘blind,’ Peter knew Matt could perceive special reasoning better than most.
“You know, I think I’d really like it if you came to visit me more. I-,” stopped Matt, shaking his head and laughing warmly, “I miss your laugh.”
Right on que, Peter began to laugh, full on flustered. “Oh, ha, well thank you?”
“You’re welcome. Oh that reminds me, one of my clients is a highly respected member of the biochemical department at Columbia. He’s given me an invitation to the annual SDAC convention next weekend,” Peter felt his heart jump to his throat, that’s like the biggest science breakthrough convention ever, “I remember you telling me how badly you wanted to go, and since we’re looking to spend more time together- would you like to go with me?”
Oh my god, of course he wanted to go! Never in his wildest dreams did Peter ever think he would ever get to go there.
His voice was practically buzzing with excitement, “Oh of course I’d love to go! Wow I can’t believe you actually want to take-,” Peter abruptly cut himself off because his spidey sense began to hum all of a sudden.
That’s when the whiz of a small knife zoomed past his shoulder and headed straight for Matt’s face. For a split second, Peter thought he was too late but then Matt’s hand quickly shot up and delicately caught the blade between his pointer and middle finger.
Peter heard himself exhale, relieved, and then felt a warm presence against his back. He felt anger wash over him, why did Wade throw a fucking knife at Matt’s face? Peter was about to go off on him but first Matt.
“Oh my god Matt I’m so sorry, I- I just sorry. I don’t know why-,”
A rumbling voice behind Peter cut him off, “Look ‘Matt’,” sneered Wade, between his teeth, “I’ve been sitting very patiently in that chair across the room listening to you flirt on my boyfriend for the past half hour and quite frankly, I draw the line at blatantly asking him out when I’m in the room.”
Matt smirked, rubbing the sharp blade against the pad of his thumb.
“Apologies, Mister-?”
“Wilson,” snapped Wade.
“Oh well I apologize Mr. Wilson if you felt I was overstepping a line but I was simply inviting Peter to an event I thought he’d enjoy going to.”
“Yeah Wade,” snapped Peter, elbowing his boyfriend in the abdomen, “He was just being nice.”
“Uh huh, right look, I’d say it was nice to meet you Matty boy but it really wasn’t. So um stay away from my boyfriend or else things will go bad for you. And um, Peter I think it’s time to go now.”
“What? What the hell Wade? No I’m not leaving yet-,”
“Well sorry you feel that way but we really should be going.”
And with that, Wade scooped up his boyfriend throwing him over his shoulder with ease and walked out of the office. Peter fought him to no avail and was resigned to awkwardly waving back at Matt as they exited the room. Matt gave a stilted wave back.
When they got outside, Wade finally dropped him and Peter stepped back, anger finally bursting through.
“What the fuck Wade? You can’t just throw a knife at someone! Or- or pick me up without asking me first! Or accuse my friend of hitting on me! Or- or-,”
Wade talked over him. “Peter calm down. First off, I knew the fucker would catch the knife okay? So no harm no foul. Second off, you like being picked up so don’t act like you’re mad at me for that. Third off, you are one hot piece of ass okay?”
Peter stared gaping at him, wholeheartedly confused. “What- what the fuck does that have to do with anything?” protested Peter, angrily.
“You’re hot Peter, and Shhshhshh!” shushed Wade when his boyfriend opened his mouth to speak, “Let me finish. You’re hot. And even though you don’t think you are, because you’re a modest person, aw so cute, you’re still hot as hell and a lot of people think that alright?”
“Um okay?” acknowledged Peter, still not following.
“Which means,” continued Wade, “People are going to hit on you. And I didn’t notice this until we actually got together, but you’re kind of like the girl next door in the superhero world.”
Peter’s eyes bulged. “What?” exclaimed the younger man, “That’s so, so not true!”
“Really? You really wanna argue with me on that?”
“Yes I do because there’s no way that’s true, like at all!”
“How would you know? You don’t even realize when people are flirting with you!”
“Because no one does! Why would they? I mean I’m just… this,” spoke Peter, frowning, making a flippant gesture towards his body.
Wade groaned. “Exactly.”
Peter scrubbed his hands down his face. “Wade, look it’s really nice that you would think that but it’s just not true.”
“Baby boy,” spoke Wade, pulling Peter into his chest and resting his head atop the young hero’s, kissing his temple sweetly, “Let’s do an experiment.”