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“Nishi-san!”
Natsumi nearly dropped her ice cream cone after being addressed so suddenly.
Suzuki-san, wearing a highly intense expression on her already extremely expressive face that seemed to bore into her mind like a drill, was leaning so close that Natsumi would have been able to eat from her cone of ice instead if she had dropped her own.
She didn´t, of course, but the possibility was enough to throw her off balance regardless.
“How do you make Yamada so nervous all the time?”
“E-eh?” Natsumi was halfway through looking for a path for her to escape when Susuki´s question truly registered in her mind. “I- I don´t? What do you mean?”
“Of course you do!” Thankfully, her pink-haired schoolmate took a step back, allowing her to breathe more freely again. “I´ve seen it happening a million times, ya know? He becomes all jittery and actually starts stuttering! Yamada never stutters! It only happens when you´re around!”
Behind the questioning extrovert, Azuma-san, who was snacking on her own ice cone, nodded in confirmation, while Natsumi was still desperately trying to make sense of the entire situation.
She didn't really know how she had found herself here in the first place!
One moment, she was saying goodbye to Hon-chan and mentally preparing herself for how she might answer the latest question Yamada had sent her on Line sometime during the last period, and the next, she was eating ice cream with his friends!
Honestly, she hadn´t even fully wrapped her head around how he had managed to send a message to her during school time!
Not in her wildest dreams would she be brave enough to pull out her phone during a lesson! Even for something as mundane as looking at the clock! And she was sitting in the last row! Surely, she would get caught! The universe just had it out for her like that.
But that was beside the point for now.
The point was, she had barely reached the lockers when she was all but ambushed by both Suzuki and Azuma, inviting her to have a small after-school snack together.
Now, usually, and with enough prep time, Natsumi would jump on the opportunity to get to know her crush´s classmates a bit better. They all seemed like very sociable people from whom she could learn a lot, after all.
However, that didn't change the fact that uprooting her plans with a spontaneous action such as this was still highly stressful. The delicious taste of the ice cream - she had picked strawberry by the way - and the comfortable chit chat between the two other girls, had made her relax a little until now, but that question was putting her right back into the center of attention, making all the former progress evaporate like the combined sweat on her forehead eventually would.
And Suzuki was far from done.
“So?! How do you do it? Tell me! I want Tani to get all worked up around me, too! He´s always so composed while I freak out over every single little thing! It sucks! I demand equality!”
“I could tell you some secrets to get that boy all worked up, but I don't think Nishi-san should be around for that…”
“Ohoooo!”
Azuma´s conspiratorial giggling aside, Natsumi was at a complete loss.
As far as she knew, Yamada didn't get nervous around her. Not in the slightest. On the contrary. He felt like the manifestation of aloofness, especially in comparison to herself.
All he ever did was calm her nerves when her shy side took over once again. Naturally, he couldn't always succeed in that effort, but he had a better success rate than almost any other person besides maybe Hon-chan and her parents.
Sorting out her thoughts like that, Natsumi felt inclined to defend her friend from these accusations of him being the same nervous mess as she so clearly was.
It sounded unjustified.
“I… I think you must have misunderstood something.” Regaining the attention of both girls by speaking up, Natsumi had to suppress a light flinch. “Y-Yamada-kun doesn't get nervous around me, Suzuki-san. In fact, it is very much the other way around.”
Even after months of officially being friends, Natsumi was barely able to hold a five-minute conversation with the boy without messing up at least once or twice. A sad fact to admit, but true nonetheless.
She would have to seriously work on bettering herself in the future! Yamada was even kind enough to give her honest feedback if she asked for it! Natsumi couldn't let such kindness go to waste!
…Although… him offering such kindness usually only increased her nervousness these days.
She really was a weirdo in the end, wasn't she? Why did people even put up with her?
“Hmmmm…” Suzuki´s thoughtful humming thankfully snapped her out of her own darkly spiraling mind.
“I mean, you´re right, you are getting a little nervous around him.” Understatement of the century. “But that's normal. I´m also always a little nervous around Tani.”
…Was it really that normal? Somehow, that statement made her heart feel lighter.
“Girls always get a bit of heartflutter when around their crush, right, Azuma?!”
“Totally.” The blush that spread throughout Natsumi´s face was almost as bright red as her ice cream. “Not that I would know any of that first hand, but I can take an educated guess.”
“Yeah!” In the blink of an eye, Suzuki refocused her attention on Natsumi, who could only pray she wouldn't be confronted about the embarrassing redness in her face. “But Yamada and Tani are different! They are usually cool as a cucumber! Or, well, I guess Yamada gets nervous every time he ‘forgets’ to do his homework, but Tani always does his, so that's not an option, and that's beside the point anyway!”
…Natsumi really admired how Suzuki could speak so openly about such things.
It was as if she didn't need to think about her words at all.
“But, okay, so you´re telling me you don't know how you make him nervous?”
“I- I don´t, ehm, I don't think I really make him nervous in the first place.”
“Yeah, no, you do.” Seemingly only here to give a second opinion, Azuma shook her head almost immediately.
“B-but-”
“If you don't believe us, just test it out! And really look at the guy this time!”
Natsumi thought she had always looked at him… but maybe she needed to pay even more attention. Perhaps she had been too self-centered half the time. There were so many things she had to consider while talking to him so that she didn't mess up after all!
…Even though he did say that it was okay for her to test things with him…
“So, y-you´re saying I should try to make him nervous?”
“Oh, yes.”
“Could be fun, girl!”
With both of them in agreement, Natsumi could only nod. Maybe they were right. Maybe it would be fun.
“B-but how should I- Iiiek!”
Before she could flip the entire script of their previous discussion on its head by asking how she could make Yamada nervous, Azuma put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a devilish smile.
“I got a couple of ideas.”
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The next day, during their first big break, Yamada, just like always, came to talk to her and Hon-chan, and Natsumi decided to try out some of the ideas Azuma-san had suggested the day prior.
It took almost five minutes of conversation between the three of them, during which she barely said a word while working up the courage to implement the first plan, but at last, she jumped over her own shadow eventually and just… stared at him.
For a whole three consecutive minutes, Natsumi didn't let his eyes out of her sight.
“Try making eye contact. Like, real eye contact. That might get him flustered.” Azuma-san had suggested, and since it sounded like the easiest method to implement, she chose it for her first attempt.
Out of the corner of her eye, Natsumi could see Hon-chan glancing at her increasingly more often as she continued to stare.
At a certain point, she felt as if she had lost herself in the boy's eyes.
His pupils were just… so black, and… so small. And yet, they looked… soft somehow. Kind. Hopeful.
Natsumi really liked Yamada´s eyes, she noticed.
They represented his lovable personality to a tee.
She was honestly just so lucky that he asked her to be friends with him.
…Should she blink sometime soon? Her eyes were becoming a bit dry…
All of a sudden, those irises she had been studying so intently became a whole lot bigger. “Ehm, do I have something on my face?” Yamada had leaned forward, and his face was now only millimeters away from her own!
In truth, it was probably a few centimeters… but it seemed like millimeters in her book!
“Eh?!” Suddenly being addressed like that threw Natsumi completely off balance.
“You´ve been staring, Nishi-san,” Yamada said with a light smile. No hint of nervousness for her to see. “Oh! Or were you trying some sort of challenge? A staring contest? You have to tell the person first, you know? It's not fair otherwise.”
He knelt down so that he had to look up to her instead of the other way around.
“Okay, now I´m ready. Let's do this!”
“E-e-e-eh-”
Was the plan still on?! Should she continue looking at him?! What was even happening?!
Hon-chan! Save me!
“And… go!”
The eyes she had admired just seconds ago were now staring right back at her. More intense than ever before. Like a hound who had finally found its preferred prey and was now only waiting for it to slip ever so slightly.
It took Natsumi only around ten seconds to break under the pressure.
“I-I lose!” Her face was probably red as a tomato again, and so she needed to hide behind her hands to preserve the tiny shred of dignity she had left.
She could hear Yamada celebrating his victory to her left, and through a small hole between her fingers, she could even see Hon-chan biting her lips, forcing herself not to laugh.
Plan A had been an absolute failure.
.
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.
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It took her the entire rest of the week to recover from that first attempt, so Plan B had to wait until Monday!
This one was far more delicate to implement successfully, and seeing how she had completely failed in her first attempt, Natsumi seriously doubted she would be able to pull it off without a hitch.
But then, they were all walking home together. Her, Yamada, Suzuki, Tani, Watanabe, and Satou, and everybody was talking and having so much fun with each other, that she felt like it was the right moment to try!
Be courageous one more time, Natsumi! You got this!
“Eh, eh, Y-Yamada-kun?” Hesitantly, she addressed him.
Natsumi didn't even question why he was walking beside her like he always did. It was just… a given.
“Hm?” Again, he showed her that disarming smile. The one that hid nothing. The one she admired so much.
Suddenly, her tongue felt too big for her mouth.
“I- I just wanted to- to say that, that I- I like your…” The last part of her sentence was barely more than a whisper as it disappeared behind her cowardice.
“What?” Oh god! He was so close again! This time not with his eyes but with his ear! “I´m sorry, I couldn't catch that last part.”
Stuttering like crazy, face already heating up, and palms beginning to get sweaty, Natsumi looked for an escape, as she was primed to do in these situations, when she found the eyes of Suzuki, who had turned around to give her a grin and a double thumbs up.
What am I doing? I have to remember the plan! What we agreed on! For research!
Stick! To! The! Plan!
“I really like your hair, Yamada-kun!”
“Give him a compliment. Guys are suckers for compliments, I tell you. My ex, the idiot, used to become goo in my palm every time I complimented his Pokémon card collection. It's a tried and tested method. It can't miss, I tell you.”
Azuma-san´s words from last week were still buzzing through her head when it began to dawn on her what she had just done.
Without planning to do so, Natsumi had not only said what she had wanted to say, but she had screamed it. Broadcast it to the entire street and beyond, probably.
What was guaranteed, though, was that all of her friends had heard it.
How did she know, you ask? Because they had all stopped dead in their tracks and were staring at her now, that's how.
Even the normally untouchable Tani-kun seemed surprised!
Natsumi wanted the ground to swallow her whole.
At least she wasn't red in embarrassment anymore. Couldn't be. All the blood had long been drained from her face.
She was likely more ghost than Natsumi Nishi at the moment.
After staying silent for a second, probably letting the impact of her ill-spoken words sink in, Yamada began to chuckle.
“Oh? You think so?” He was using his hands to ruffle his hair a little, but looked otherwise the same as ever. He made it look like the awkwardness of her outburst had never happened. “Thanks! I dyed it during our first year, you know? Wanted to stand out a bit.”
…As if he needed something to stand out even more.
Suzuki was by now pushing the rest of her friends forward, giving them more privacy and reducing the embarrassment Natsumi still felt a bit further.
Her plan hadn't worked. Yamada still seemed completely unbothered, even by her compliment. But, well, she guessed it could have gone worse.
“Your hair is much more beautiful than mine, though, Nishi-san!”
“Eh?!” The impact of his words hit her like a truck.
“Yeah! It´s so silky and smooth! Like that of some filmstar! Do you care for it every night?”
“I-I-I-I use a conditioner, b-but-”
“Really? That´s so grown up!” Ghost-Natsumi was rapidly disappearing in favor of Lobster-Natsumi at this point. “It really suits you!”
Natsumi felt like she might collapse every second now.
Her heart was beating out of her chest as if it wanted to run away just as much as the rest of her body did. Yamada had pulled an UNO reverse on her! He had done the same thing she had wanted to do to him, only much more effectively!
If he had followed this up by pushing a strand of hair out of her face, Natsumi would have blacked out right then and there on the walkway.
“T-t-thank you, Y-Yamada-kun.”
She barely remembered how she got home after this!
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As if willing her to enact Plan C, it was raining the following day.
Natsumi was standing in front of the school gate, waiting.
For what, she didn't know. Or, better yet, she did know, she just didn't know what for.
“Try being a bit of a flirt.” Azuma-san had said as if it were nothing. “For example, offer to share an umbrella when it's raining! Guys love that trope! And then, when you are all wet and close in the rain, you-”
Natsumi´s subconscious had suppressed the rest of what her far too experienced friend had suggested. This was probably good for her overall mental state, not to mention her innocence, but it also meant that she had no idea what she was doing here right now besides wanting to share an umbrella.
What would she do if he accepted? How would Plan C move forward? Was this even worth it anymore?! Why had she wanted to do this anyway?! By all accounts, Suzuki-san had all but forgotten about her question until yesterday!
Was she trying to prove something here? If so, what was it? Was she just being stupid for the sake of it?
She sighed. “This is silly.” Deciding to go home and forget about Plan C, Natsumi moved to open her bag.
“Oh! Nishi-san!” A well-known voice interrupted her before she could grab her umbrella. “You wanna share an umbrella?”
Waving at Natsumi as he walked, her target seemed as unknowing about her diabolical plans as he had the day before.
“Eh?!” Again, her reaction was far too shocked, which made Yamada look a bit confused. But this was just too much of a coincidence! How come he always turned her plans against her?!
“You don't?" With a raised eyebrow, he went to retrieve the umbrella from his locker. “That´s weird, Honda said you forgot yours when I came to ask if you wanted to walk home together. Have you found yours?”
Hon-chan!
“I-” Her hand was hovering over the umbrella that was smoothly tugged away in her backpack, where it had always been.
This was silly. Childish. Just pull out that thing and get it over with, Natsumi. There is no need to-
“I haven't.” She settled on a reply even though her mind was still trying to convince her of the opposite. “I… I thought I had put it in my locker earlier, but… it wasn't there, so.”
“Oh!” Yamada´s face lit up like the sun. “Well then, it´s a good thing I came looking for you, right? I´ll walk you home safely and dry!”
Her heart skipped a beat as she looked at him, but her decision was already made. “I- I would appreciate it very much!”
And so, just like that, Natsumi found herself in extremely close proximity to the guy who was already making her heart swell by just looking at her.
Yamada was tall, and his umbrella wide enough to easily fit her small frame under it as well as his own, without forcing their shoulders to bump or something, so they were still decent, but still. This situation was all kinds of stressful!
Or, well, at least it was to her. Yamada just continued to casually talk about this and that as usual. It felt as if he wasnt at all affected by this.
…Maybe Suzuki-san had just been wrong. Maybe Natsumi didnt have the power to make cool as a cucumber Yamada nervous even a tiny bit.
She sure as heck didn't have the guts to do whatever Azuma-san had suggested as the next step in Plan C!
So, in the end, she decided to just… walk home like usual.
…But first, she had to set some things right.
“I… I think I need to apologize to you, Yamada-kun…”
“Hm?” She had interrupted him while he was saying something about what he and Gapatcho were planning on doing this weekend, but it didn't seem to be all that important to him, because he switched tracks right away. “Whatever for?”
“I… actually have an umbrella in my bag.” His eyes went wide after she said that, and it took all her willpower not to evade his look and focus on the ground instead. “And last week? When you caught me staring at you? I didn't want to have a contest. I was just…staring.”
“Oh?”
“Y-yeah…” It was better to come clean here, she believed. “A-and yesterday, when I said I liked your hair? I mean, I really do like it, but in that moment, I was actually… acting on a plan as well.”
Instead of looking confused, Yamada seemed more intrigued than anything. “Really? What kind of plan?”
And so, Nishi came clean. About Suzuki´s question, Azuma´s hypothesis and plan, and her failed attempts at making him nervous.
Yamada, being the great guy that he was, took it all in with a laugh.
However, what he said after she had finished explaining caught her off guard.
“You dont need to apologize for that! It sounds like a fun exercise!” …Of course, someone with his mindset would see the humor in her failures. He was just… positive like that. “But I don't get it. I´m nervous around you all the time. Why would you need to use such specific tactics to prove it?”
“Eh?” What did he just say?
“Don´t tell me you haven't noticed? I´m literally nervous right now!”
Natsumi stared at him, mouth agape.
He was making fun of her, right? This was a joke.
“No, you´re not.”
“Course, I´m.”
“But you haven't stuttered or- or anything!”
“Just because I´m speaking clearly doesn't mean I´m not nervous!” He was adamant. It didn't seem like he was joking anymore. “I was going on about absolutely nothing this entire walk just because I was afraid there would be awkward silence between us if I shut my mouth for a second!”
“It is never awkward between us!” Unusually for her, Natsumi got a little heated in her defense. “And if it is, then it's because of me, not because of you. I love hearing you speak, Yamada-kun! You´re… so easy to listen to and have such fun things to say… You should get a podcast! I would listen to every episode!”
By the time her small outburst was finished, it was Yamada´s turn to look at her with an open mouth. And was that… a small blush on his cheeks? Natsumi couldn't be sure, and she didn't have the time to analyse it further, because her own self-consciousness rapidly caught up with her, forcing her eyes to the ground at last.
“I- I'm sorry, that must have sounded r-ridiculous. I should just pull out my umbrella and let you go home-”
“We should do a podcast together!” He suddenly proclaimed, making her head snap up again.
“Wha-”
“I´m only so funny because you bring out the best in me, Nishi-san! And think about it, that way you might fight your nervousness more efficiently by regularly talking into a microphone! I think that's a great idea!”
…How the heck had they ended up making plans for a future podcast?!
It took her a second to make sense of it all, but when she did, Natsumi couldn't contain her laughter for even a second longer.
“You´re crazy.” She chuckled, both hands pressed firmly in front of her mouth to quiet herself even a little bit.
The two of them must look ridiculous from the outside. A giggling girl and her overly enthusiastic crush, walking through the rain, talking about their nerves and wanting to make a podcast for some reason.
To stabilize herself, and without thinking about it in the slightest, Natsumi's left arm went to grab the one Yamada used to hold up the umbrella, which was keeping them dry.
“We… we should walk home together more often.” Another stupid thing to say since they walked home often enough, but maybe… she secretly meant just the two of them. Alone. “Having you around… always makes me smile, Yamada-kun.”
With all her laughable attempts at making him nervous pushed to the edge of her mind and all but forgotten, Natsumi allowed herself to just… bask in the bliss of the moment and enjoy what the boy next to her so willingly provided.
A sense of warmth and comfort, even on a rainy day.
This feeling… it was one of the reasons why she was falling for him so hard, and maybe, just maybe, in the future, she would be able to tell him as much.
“I- I´d like that.”
Natsumi was so blissfully happy, she didn't even notice the small stutter in Yamada´s words. Nor did she realize that his cheeks were almost as pink as her own, or that he was walking a little closer than before, silently praying that the shy but all so fascinating girl who was walking beside him wouldn't let go of his arm.
…At least not for a little while longer