Chapter Text
Roman and Virgil were roommates. As in, Roman needed a roommate after his brother Logan moved in with his fiance. As in, Virgil needed a place to stay after his best friend’s boyfriend moved in. As in, the cutest couple alive, Logan and Patton, suggested Virgil move in with Roman. As in, roommates who had barely had three conversations in twice as many weeks.
Sure, every morning they exchanged polite “good mornings”, but nothing of real substance. They could only think of three things they had in common.
- Both loved the rain
- Neither had a “balanced diet”
- Both were night owls
That was until Logan and Patton sent out the save the dates.
“Ugh, I can’t believe I’ll have to go to the wedding without a date, how embarrassing.” Roman flopped down onto the couch, next to Virgil. Virgil was startled by this but stifled his reaction.
“You won’t be the only one, I’m not exactly bringing home guys every night,” It wasn’t until he’d said it that Virgil realized he had come out to Roman. Obviously Roman wasn’t homophobic; he was one of the biggest champions of Patton and Logan’s relationship. He just didn’t know how Roman would feel about having a gay roommate. Straight guys could be weird about that kind of thing.
Roman didn’t even seem to clock it, “I don’t understand why no prince has fallen for me yet, I’m gorgeous.”
- They were both gay.
This gave Virgil an idea.
“-It’s just so annoying, who would have thought Logan would get his happy ending before me?” Roman whined, following Virgil to the balcony where they did their laundry. “And, I mean, a wedding is a serious date, you know? You can’t take a guy to your brother’s wedding on the first date.”
“Yeah, especially when you’re the man of honour, so you’re gonna be super busy, and they have to meet all your childhood friends and they hear all the embarrassing stories before you get to convince them you’re not a total freak,” Virgil had gotten a little carried away imagining the horrifying scenario. He took a deep breath and settled for hinting at his idea. “It’d be so much better to take someone you already know.” Maybe Roman would think it’s his own idea.
“Yeah, I mean, I’m amazing, but I totally get where you’re coming from. Dating is hard; I wish I could have a relationship without all the hard parts. You know, just being cute and stuff” Roman stared wistfully at the ceiling, “Oh, a boy can dream…”
“You mean like a fake relationship, just for show, I guess that wouldn’t be terrible,” Virgil hoped it wasn’t too much of a leap. There was plausible deniability and his plan was this close to coming together.
“Yeah, exactly!” You could practically see his neurons firing in realtime. “Wait, what if we did that? We could go to the wedding together so we don’t look all single and lonely.”
“I mean, we could, but we’d have to start like tomorrow, and we’d have to stage a break-up afterwards.” Virgil had started to see the downside, as always.
“Oh c’mon, lighten up, Patton’ll be thrilled, plus this’ll be such fun, like a constant play. Too bad it’s not a musical, I’d love to show off my gorgeous voice.”
“If it were a musical, I’d have to sing. I don’t sing,” he grunted.
“Could’ve sworn I heard Meant to Be Yours coming from the shower last night…”
“I swear to the gods, I will kill you,” Virgil growled.
“Oh, but you have a lovely voice, J.Delightful,” Roman jested.
“Shut up before I make you.”
“You don’t scare me, Count Virgil.”
“Wait until you see my fangs.”