Chapter Text
𓇢𓆸
While the sun was rising above the lakes of Yunmeng-Jiang, waking the first servants and few disciples with its shine, Jiang Wanyin was already mounting his sword to Lanling-Jin, the warm breeze of Lotus pier´s warmth crashing into his skin, making him shiver in comfortable delightment.
In his left hand was a little box, carved from dark mahogany wood, its edges decorated with golden strings, giving it an exquisite and eloquent appearance. On its top was a drawing of a single peachy pink peony. On the side of the box was a small lock, the assigned key was residing in Jiang Wanyin´s inner pocket to make sure it was safe. It was clear the box was at the very least a few years old, even if polished to shine, small scratches of time remained on the wood.
Jiang Wanyin hasn't written to his nephew in advance, he usually just barged in right and left, making sure his nephew is actually doing his job and studying, not just running off with the little group of friends he had made during the past months.
But this time he had a reason, it was Jin Rulan´s sixteenth birthday in two days. They don't see each other too often nowadays, with both of them busy being a sect leader. Especially the Jiang, who had taken on a lot of his nephews paperwork to ease the weight atop of the younger's shoulders, to give him more time to study and possibly some free time as well.
He made sure to work himself off during the past weeks to take four days for himself, to ensure he could spend those with his beloved nephew, maybe spoil him with words instead of actions for once. And if he was honest, he really was looking forward to seeing his nephew, to maybe even smile freely and tell Jin Rulan how wonderful he had been doing in his new role.
The journey to the Koi tower was long and bothersome, taking him many hours and quite a bit of energy, but the moment he saw the tall building appearing in the distance he pushed the exhaustion quickly aside. He did ponder for a moment on why he was so tired from a flight he had made hundreds of times, a few years ago distances many times the length were no problem, yet now he was exhausted and in dire need for something to drink.
The sun already changed its position from shyly above the horizon to bright above Jiang Wanyin’s head, blinding him on his way.
He flew to the back of the building and slowly back onto the ground, landing right in front of the close family quarters. He placed his sword back in its sheath on his waist, the purple accessory on his lilac belt dangled, a small reminder of Jiang Yanli, that had rather spent her money on her little brother, spoiling him rotten, instead of buying herself a fan she had been eyeing for quite some time.
He would be lying if he said he hadn't kept every little thing she had ever given him, assuming one was talking about the few things that weren't burned down to ashes by the Wens. He shoved the thought into the back of his head, focusing on his surroundings and Jin Rulan, who he was searching for.
He followed the echo of voices he heard, soon arriving at a pavilion located at the edge of Jin Rulan’s personal quarters. One voice in particular stood out, a loud and screeching voice that could only belong to one person; Wei Wuxian.
He didn't know that his nephew had any contact with Wei Wuxian at all, he was never told, the most important person in his life couldn't even tell him something like that. Couldn't trust him with such important information. Was he even trusted with any information at all at this point?
“Doesn’t Jiang Cheng mind me and Lan Zhan staying in his usual room?” Wei Wuxian had asked, even he seemed to have a bigger concern arising then the child he had raised. “If he really has a problem with something like that he definitely needs to get himself some help, I don't see any reason as to why he would get mad at something so meaningless, but knowing him…”
“Jin Ling, you shouldn't talk like that about a man that is basically your parent.” Lan Sizhui concluded, trying to elevate the mood his friend seemed to fall into. "Doesn't change the fact that he is whiny as hell, i don't think there was a day in my life where he didn't whine, how can a grown man act like a brat?” The Jin asked, rolling his eyes.
Jiang Wanyin’s breath stopped, he took a step back, not believing what he had just heard. That is from his own nephew. “He only knows how to annoy me, others of course too. I can't name a single person that does not lose their mind within thirty seconds of him opening his mouth, you should know da-jiu, you grew up with him.” The golden robed Jin snapped.
“Oh come on a-Ling, don't talk like that about your jiu-jiu, Jiang Cheng has his qualities!” Wei Wuxian yelled cheerfully. “I don't know about that but whatever,” Jin Rulan started once again, “I wish he would leave me alone for once, I don't know what he even wants from me anymore, the Jin sect is mine and mine only. He should stop shoving his nose where it does not belong!”, he humphed. Lan Wangji nodded at that, agreeing.
Jiang Wanyin felt his façade crumbling like pieces of a broken vase, one which was thrown across the room, shattering onto the floor in a multitude of pieces. He took a step back, then two and then three. He abruptly turned around, his gaze hasty as he started to run, not looking where he was running to, he just needed to disappear. To hide his reddened cheeks that flushed to a shade of red. To hide his tears that wouldn't stop flowing, grazing his face with their wetness. His trembling fingertips, grasping at the little box he was still holding, now pressing it close to his own chest. He was wrong, so very wrong, he didn't think things have gotten to that point. Didn't think he was being a nuisance like that.
He thought his relationship with his nephew was good, even if they yelled at each other, even if they got mad at each other, he thought his beloved nephew still saw him as important, still loved him. Never would he have thought that he was being a nuisance to that point, how could he be so horrible?
He ran till his legs touched the green of grass in the big gardens of the Jin, pulling out his sword and getting back on it, flying back into the clouds and disappearing behind them.
He flew until he saw the grounds of the family residence of his sect, jumping off his sword and running into his chambers and slamming the doors to a close. His back pressed against the doors as he slid down onto his knees, silent tears leaving his eyes as he tried to rub them dry with his sleeves. He couldn't remember the last time he was crying this pathetically like a child, snivelling and sniffing.
How could he fail Yanli like that?
On shaky legs he stood up, walking over to the vanity that was once his sisters, opened a small drawer and shut it again after carefully placing the box on the inside. He turned around and started to untie his outer robe, carefully placing it onto the bamboo room divider, then the robe he had worn between middle and outer layer to keep him warm in the slightly colder climate of Lanling-Jin. Then his hands traveled down to his feet, slowly shoving off his long boots that reached up to his knee, the inner filled with warm fur to keep him warm during flights.
After taking out his hairpin and ribbon he put both away, slowly dragging himself to his bed and throwing himself onto it, his face now burried inside a soft pillow. Slowly he closed his still stinging eyes waiting for sleep to overtake him, hoping it would happen fast after the past weeks filled with work to the brim.
Minutes and hours passed by while he was trying to gain the ability of sleep, hopefully a peaceful type of sleep, one where he could actually rest. Then, finally, sleep overtook him and he could rest in a dreamless state of peace.
𓇢𓆸
During the early morning where Jiang Wanyin awoke, he already heard knocking on his door, he dragged himself up and to the door, begrudgingly opening it to the person waiting outside. “Good morning Jiang-zhongzhu, I needed to tell you about a very important conflict that has risen in the Su Hua sect north of us. Please come to the conference hall, sect leader Su Hua is awaiting your presence already.” His second in command explained, her robes flowing in the wind that came through Jiang Wanyin's opened window, “I be right there.”, he answered before closing the door again.
He stepped back to his closet and opened it, taking out a new inner and middle robe, tying them tightly around himself for additional warmth. While putting on his purple outer robe He avoided the mirror with all his might. Then he tied his hair up again, the usual tight knot pulling uncomfortably on his scalp. He threw the idea away and left it hanging in a long ponytail, which reached past his waist. Ridiculous. His mother would have lost her mind if he would go around parading like that, like Wei Wuxian.
But if even his own nephew didn't have any type of love or respect left for him, who was he trying to impress any longer? There was no one left for him to impress, to care about how he looked in front of others.
He tightened the dark ribbon around the roots of his ponytail and left his chambers altogether. His legs took him to the conference hall, where the sect leader had already been waiting, because what day would it be if he actually had time for at least breakfast in the morning?
𓇢𓆸
The issue sect leader Su Hua brought was resolved rather fast, it was a simple misunderstanding about a trade agreement she had made with Jiang Wanyin. After the resolve she and her disciples took their leave, going back to their home.
Jiang Wanyin took his leave too, walking to his study at a steady pace. Tomorrow was Jin Rulan´s birthday. After that thought he took a turn to the left and walked into a room where a few of his disciples were seated, all munching on a hand of lotus seeds. He walked till he stood in front of Jiang Min and Jiang Liyan, he pulled out a package and handed it to the older girl of the two. “Deliver it to sect leader Jin, say it is from the Jiang sect. Congratulate him on the behalf of our sect.” He said, awaiting the nod of the two girls and then left the room again.
Finally he walked to his study, opening the door and getting inside, kneeling in front of the low desk where his paperwork was located. Tons of white scrolls in front of him, waiting for him to go through them and put them to the finished pile.
As he was doing so, time flew by, the sun slowly setting and the clouds drifting apart a bit more, creating a beautiful sunset that was glowing onto the grounds of lotus pier.
In a few hours it would be a-Ling´s birthday, his sixteenth birthday. Such an important day, yet his nephew preferred to spend it with others. He wasn't welcome there, it was better without him. His nephew could actually have fun, fun with his friends, with his other family. With his da-jiu. With a family Jiang Wanyin didn't have, but if Jin Rulan didn't want to share he had to accept it. He lost his family, and there was no need to be jealous because his only family had others now. He should be happy, and yet his feelings were in a storm of turmoil.
𓇢𓆸
The next morning came and Jiang Min together with Jiang Liyan were getting ready, putting on their inner and outer robes. Their boots and accessories came next, both carefully put on to protect themselves from the strong winds.
After finishing clothing themselves they walked out and sprang onto their swords, turning towards the direction of the Koi tower, then they flew.
A few hours passed before their arrival, it was now early afternoon. Lanling Jin looked as good as it always had, flowers blooming in the huge gardens the Jin had, their wealth basically flashing everyone that walked past. Banners were hanging down the front gates in celebration of its sect leader's birthday. Both of the girls walked forward, entering the building and walking towards the banquet where Jin Rulan would be seated in.
They entered the room, it was tall in height, with even the ceilings decorated through and through with golden laments. At the front was a table, the family table, where Jin Rulan, his friends, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and even Lan Xchen sat. When had he left seclusion?
Both the girls walked up to Jin Rulan, presenting the package to him, “Sect leader Jin,” they bowed, “Congratulations on your birthday, this is a present from our Yunmeng-Jiang sect.” The younger one said, while the older handed the package over. Jin Rulan took the gift, nodding he sent them away again, not even asking about where sect leader Jiang was? Weird.
They walked back outside, not wanting to disturb the others in the hall with their presence.
“Did you see Zewu-Jun too? I would have thought there will be an announcement about his leave of seclusion." Jiang Min whispered. "Right? And he looked at us like he was expecting something, I have no idea what he wanted.” Jiang Liyan answered, their hushed tones mixing into a whirlwind of gossip. They walked past the market located at the foot of Lanling-Jin, then Jiang Min spoke once again, “Come here, this gracious junior disciple will buy you something tasty.” at which Jiang Liyan cooed and followed, her cheeks flushed a dark shade of red.
𓇢𓆸
The banquet hall was filled with disciples and servants of mostly the Jin sect, even if here and there some of the other sect's disciples were seen, their robes a different colour then the yellow and gold of the Jin. On the front of the hall was a long table at which sat Jin Rulan with his friends. He saw how two purple robed women entering the hall, one holding a package that he assumed was for him. They came up, handed it over, bowed and left again. Strange.
He did think it weird that his jiu-jiu didn't come, but the man was busy anyway. At Least he wasn't nagged on his birthday, for once.
He watched the Jiang disciples leave and turned back to the people that sat at the table, his hands working their way through the lace binding the package together. Upon opening it he saw a golden sword tassel, a single red pearl on its end. He inspected it closer and then carefully put it away into his inner pocket. “What were you saying, Zizhen?”
Time goes on as he sits with his friends and family, enjoying a nice and relaxing day.
The thought of something being missing crosses his mind a few times, yet he can't figure what he is thinking of. Everyone important is here, all his duties for today are taken care of, he completed his lessons and even woke up earlier than usual. Yet something was wrong.
"Zewu-jun, are you okay?” Lan Sizhui pushed, leaning a slight bit over to his uncle's side. “Oh yes, of course, do not worry.” He answers smoothly. “May I ask why your jiu-jiu is not here, Rulan?” comes out as he turns towards the younger sect leader. He sees Jin's eyes widen for a second before he puts on the scowl he wears more often than not. “How should I know where he is? He's not a child that i should go searching for, if he wants to see me he can come himself, if not he can stay wherever he is, why would it matter?” Quite the temper, Lan Xichen thinks to himself.
He just nods along and disappears into the background once more as the conversation continues to flow between the others. After the banquet is finished and Jin Rulan leaves with his friends Lan Xichen looks over to his brother, who is sitting as close to Wei Wuxian as possible. “I am gonna retire to my room now Wangji, young master Wei, I wish both of you a good night.” He says before standing up and leaving the hall. His feet carried him towards his room. It was a simple room, at least as simple as a room of the Jin clan could be, golden curtains were hanging from the top of the window, the bottom stopping just above the floor.
He pulled his outer robe off, then his shoes and his hairpiece, carefully laying everything down on the desk that stood in the corner of the room. Then he walked towards the bed, where a single scroll lay beside it, the purple seal of Yunmeng-Jiang's sect leader, Jiang Wanyin, on it stamped.
He thought of putting it away and telling Jin Rulan about it tomorrow, that's what he, as the first jade of Lan, the Zewu-jun, should do. But his curiosity was piqued, and he would be lying if he said he didn't crave to know everything about the Jiang. He did know about everything once, but that time had long passed, even if he wished oh so dearly for it to come back.
His fingertips worked their way through the lines of string holding the piece of parchment rolled together. Inside the scroll was another smaller letter, the paper already slightly yellowish from its age. On it was written with a clean font, signed by Jin Rulan himself, not as a sect leader, but as a boy who was answering a letter his uncle send.
“Uncle, stop pestering me, I am a sect leader on my own and don't want your help in any way,If I feel like it I write to you, if not then not. I do not know what else you wish to see from me.” A silent gasp left Lan Xichen's mouth at the words written. How could Jin Rulan say something like this? Didn't he know how many sacrifices his jiu-jiu had to go through just so he could stay alive? So he could have a meal served in front of him? So he could live without all of the stress his uncle was carrying for him and everyone that Jiang Wanyin took under his wing.
A mixture of displeasure and scorn slowly made their way through the skin of Lan Xichen's face, his forehead not only covered by his white ribbon but also in numerous new formed wrinkles. A sight so rarely seen on the first jades face, many would not believe he was even able to carry and express himself like this.
In the end being forced to live through the expectations of ones elders and whole cultivation world was not an easy task, he had grown accustomed to his persona by now, sometimes he wondered how he would be as a person if he wouldn't have been forced to act a certain way just for the pleasure of others.
His fingers smoothed out the paper, caressing it like a memory he never got rid of. After a few seconds he decided on not leaving the paper behind for the dust to cover it. He rolled it back up, carefully as to not destroy it in any way, then he placed it in his inner robes pouch.
He turned to the direction the breeze of wind he just felt was coming from, realising that the door to the balcony was slightly ajar. His legs moved before he even thought of it, carrying him to the outside, stepping onto the floor of the balcony, his eyes scanning the gardens surrounding it. He knew this room and the flowers around it, walking multiple times through them. Jiang Wanyin beside him, a small smile was gracing his face, softening all his features.
A set of memories flooded his brain, all of them on the verge of mixing between painful and wonderful.
He could remember feeling the gaze of Jin Guangyao and Nie Mingjue hiding at the corner, both of them somehow knowing all too well what was going on, he could already hear back then their future teasing about the moment. But even that didn't stop him from stretching out his arm, pulling his lover in closer by their waist. Both of their bodies pushed against each other. He was even graced with the reward of his lover not pulling away and actually leaning in closer. He felt the breath that was tingling his neck and tried to straighten himself up, his spine the shape of a wall that has been carefully built over multiple years.
Suddenly a raindrop fell, landing on Lan Xichen's cheek, covering the small spot for a short time with its wetness. A moment later both of his cheeks wetted again, tears rolling down like the rains he remembers Jiang Wanyin describing to him, which fell in the hottest of summers in Yunmeng, thunderstorms gracing the lakes the docks were built on. He was told that Jin Rulan always cried during this time, scared by the loud noise. Back then, it seemed the only loud noise he could handle was his jiu-jiu’s yelling voice.
His eyes drifted over the gardens one last time before he retreated, his body drifting towards the bath. He just wanted to wash up, scrap the dirty feeling of his body and soul and then crawl into the bed, maybe never leave it again unless awaken by the purple clad man that didn't even leave him alone through his dreams. How come he was followed by him everywhere just not in his real life?
He pulled off his robes at last and climbed into the hot water, sinking in as deep as he could, closing his eyes and trying not to drown in the misery his life had become.
𓇢𓆸
The moment Jiang Wanyin woke up he felt as if scraps of his throat were being ripped off from the inside. A cough forcing its way through his lips, dry and painful. A bad feeling forcing itself through the pit of his stomach up to his lungs, squeezing the air out of him. He didn't know what was happening, but nothing good could be going on.
Begrudgingly he stood up, his hands grabbing the low desk in the middle of the room for help to stand. Something was definitely wrong with him, he could feel it through his bones and veins filled with blood, then, he noticed. His core, no, Wei Wuxian's core, it was not working. He couldn't feel his core at all. Emptiness filling him through with an endless feeling of nothing, in a way it felt how commoners were describing the stairs leading from Caiyi village up to the Cloud-Recess, endless and able to tire you out till you fall over dead before even reaching the gates! A laugh bubbled up from within him, was he really laughing right now? He could be dying in the span of the next minutes, and yet here he was, laughing over the absurdity of some people muttering and gossiping about the great sects.
He tried to flow his qi through his meridians, but even after multiple times of trying, he failed miserably. This core of his former brother must have an expiration date or something, because how else could it just stop?
Of course it had to happen now, on his day off, how was he supposed to get this checked out without telling the healers about Wei Wuxian's sacrifice for him?
He scrambled up again, running towards his swordstand and ripping Sandu off it, the weapon carrying a weight he forgot was so cutting, his muscles straining just carrying a piece of metal. He remembered this feeling, it was the same one he felt years ago, after his own golden core was ripped out and melted right in front of his eyes.
“Am I being punished by the heavens for my greed?”
He spent a while there, just standing and thinking of ways to get this stupid core back to working, but then a thought struck him, didn't he always wish for this core to disappear? To be free of carrying the burden that was Wei Wuxian's sacrifice, which he didn't even want in the first place. This was the moment he had been waiting for. Maybe instead of being punished I am being rewarded?
Another feeling spread through his chest, the edges of it squeezing themselves all throughout his body, it felt as if wings were growing out of his spine, the skin on his back being ripped into shreds to make sure his body is capable of having enough space for an extension that could make him reach the long forgotten freedom he once possessed. Even if the feeling was painful, it wasn't a bad feeling at all. Wings meant being free, being able to do everything and then having a way to escape that was as simple as flying on a sword. Just that now he didn't need a sword anymore, one he could only fly on because of the Yilling-Patriarch.
As the days passed by after he felt himself ascending more and more into the clouds, he didn't feel bad anymore, he didn't use Wei Wuxian's core anymore. He was free.
Instead of drilling his disciples through their training like he once did, he left this task to one of his
highest put disciples. He took more time for himself, sometimes taking breaks simply to hush out the kitchen staff and cook himself a meal he was specifically craving. Letting them go and enjoy the weather outside.
He forgot how bad he once felt, how every day was a chore. Now he felt like he was born anew, his wrinkles softening, he looked youthful once again, like he did before all of the events that befell the world of cultivation.
Then the first week passed by and he felt something was wrong once again. But this time it was not a feeling that concerned his own body, something was happening, he didn't know to who, or what, yet the thought refused to leave him.
𓇢𓆸
Everything seemed alright, until on a specifically stormy night, loud sounds were heard through the piers of Yunmeng. People assumed it was just their sect leader being back to his usual self, that was until the next morning it was announced that the Sandu-Shengshou, sect leader of Yunmeng-Jiang, was missing without a trace.