Chapter Text
There are a few things he learned thanks to his experience.
First, never put your phone number in the ad, and warn at the end that you don't accept any more offers besides what you’re listing. Second, always appear as neutral as possible, no matter your personal political opinion or style: your bosses only need that you agree with theirs, and it’s harder to do it when you’ve shown yours beforehand. Viktor already had one disadvantage, two if the clients clocked him, so he had to take extra care.
(He had heard enough rejections mentioning his disability as a negative point. “What if my son gets stuck in a tree?”, “What if my daughter gets locked in the bathroom and you have to jump out the window to save her?”, “What if my kid falls into a ditch and you can't help?” and Viktor always thought these fears were stupid because people without disabilities wouldn't jump into a well or off a building to save someone's child either. Besides, it was difficult for a child to participate in a fire, be kidnapped by a group, or jump into the open sea when they were inside the house supervised by a babysitter, which, well, was precisely his job).
Luckily, he got the jobs.
They weren't always good, but there was always the possibility of learning and being entertained by gossip that didn't involve him. It was surprising how much dirt a family could have, where aunts stole from siblings, couples cheated on each other with best friends, grandparents tarnished their children's names, etc. The nanny, the maid, and the security guard always knew everything, and Viktor was no stranger to that kind of entertainment.
In addition, Viktor genuinely liked children, curious and little scientists by nature, and they transformed when they were under his care (one of them went from a passive boy who played on his tablet for eight hours a day to a little math lover in a week). He could never have one, not naturally, with his dysphoria and poor health, and it was a pleasure to take care of them for part of his life, to help in some way, to pass on at least one or two lessons.
Well… there was one more thing: he obviously liked the money, perfect for paying for his education. With the cost of his treatments and medications, Viktor had no choice but to put his studies on hold to start saving money again. Wealthy families, in addition to paying a good salary, sometimes even gave an extra fee for the man's skills, which could be advantageous at that time.
So, Sky, his best and currently only one of two friends, had introduced him to this world shortly after changing fields (she was now encouraging him to participate in event production, but he suspected that standing for hours was no more ideal than sitting and reading to children), and he adapted very well.
Therefore, at nineteen, during the suspension of his enrollment, when he received an offer from an older couple in the suburbs of Piltover to take care of their two children, seven and six years old, with salary and benefits, plus a room in case of emergencies, Viktor gladly accepted. It shouldn't last more than a semester, and he’d soon have enough time to continue doing what he truly wanted.
The rules were clear. Wear neutral and modest clothing. Don't talk too much about your own life, as you are a mystery here only to serve. Be polite and always smile. Use the most fruity-smelling shampoo possible, because children like it. Pay attention to what kind of cartoons and children's content are popular, so you can communicate with your bosses' children, but not too much so that they themselves can explain things to you and make the work hours pass faster. In general, be a babysitter who is neither too strict nor too lenient. Neutrality, always.
And there was one more basic rule that Viktor should follow not only in this job, but in all others, for the rest of his life. Seemed pointless, but his best friend’s mom went through a complicated situation in a company that required anyone to note this extra rule:
Never, under any circumstances, fall in love with your boss.
He tried to maintain his composure as the man opened the door.
Tall, dark-haired, medium-length hair with gray streaks, a grown and well-groomed beard, Jayce Talis was a mature man, but much better looking than anyone Viktor had met so far. Even more in shape than many young fathers, in fact, with strong shoulders beneath the old company t-shirt he wore. Money helps a lot with aging, Viktor thought, smiling sweetly to make himself as presentable as possible.
“Ah, Viktor, right? Come in, come in.”
His voice was a little hoarse, soft. Jayce also smiled in a way that seemed reserved for visitors he wasn't close to, and he made room for Viktor to enter. It was as he took a step forward that the younger noticed braces on the man's left leg, and a slightly different angle of stepping when he walked. Jayce had explained via text message that he didn't mind Viktor's disability, since he himself had an ankle problem, and the children were used to it — one of the biggest reasons Viktor wanted to try working there.
The house was large, starting from the living room, but it wasn't white and empty like the others Viktor had worked in. The wooden floor felt pleasant under his cane and socks (he had to take off his shoes upon entering, similar to what he did in his own house), natural light streamed in well through the windows, and every space was filled: bookshelves, toys scattered near the television area, blankets and cushions colored the sofa, drawings, maps, and family photos covered the walls. In fact, it would even be a little claustrophobic if Viktor weren't already used to this kind of organization in his own home.
“Annamarie and Naph are at school, gotta pick them up in ten minutes. We should go together so you can get acquainted with the neighbourhood.”
Viktor nodded, taking in the surroundings, still without saying a word.
“Come and see the rest of the house. It might be a little confusing at first, but you’ll get used to it.”
They walked in. Not unlike their previous experiences, there was a garden growing basic herbs (which Jayce tended to on weekends), the living room, the dining room (consisting of just a table and six chairs) connected to the kitchen (as large as the living room, full of appliances that Viktor doubted the couple used), laundry room; upstairs were the bedrooms: guest room, master bedroom, children’s room, plus bathrooms and an office. As he showed them around, Jayce patiently explained certain workings of the house, despite the prior warnings in the email.
The children slept in separate rooms, but both side by side — purple for Anna, green for Naph. There was a bathroom in the master suite, one for guests, and a shared bathroom for the children, but they often used the one in the master suite. The office was off-limits if Jayce wasn’t there (and Viktor had to knock on the door if Jayce was). The toys couldn’t leave their designated areas (next to the television, in the boxes inside the bedrooms). The guest room was clean and ready in case Viktor had to spend the night there. Naph loved sweets, so it was good to control him to avoid eating as much as his sister. Annamarie would try to braid his hair if she liked the babysitter. Any questions?
And your wife? Viktor wanted to ask, but in no way would it be adequate.
Jayce looked at the watch on his wrist, worn near a bracelet with a blue crystal, made of leather strap.
“It’s time. You should come along to find out which school they go to and the way, in case something happens to us someday.”
It was uncomfortable being in a car alone with a man bigger than him after only twenty minutes of knowing each other, but Viktor understood the point. He only had a little difficulty getting in because, in addition to the problem with his leg, he wasn't used to big cars, and Jayce's help with that was quite welcome (he tried not to notice how warm Jayce's hand was). The older one helped him place the cane near the seat, after a few moments examining something on the object, and then climbed into the driver's seat as well, with less difficulty. For some reason, Viktor remembered Jayce wearing his boots at the front door before they left home, his back stiff with age, but his body taking on a beautiful curve — his feet were bigger than Viktor's, and the material of the boot was much more expensive than that of his sneakers; and yet he didn't seem superior because of it, only focused on the laces themselves. Their roles — employee and employer — seemed to be present on the trivial things like that, and yet his boss didn't mind helping him getting on the same level as he.
Viktor tried not to stare at him too much, sitting so comfortably in front of the steering wheel. The relaxed manner, the hand reaching for the gearshift, and the dark glasses on his face certainly gave him an attractive charm, but Viktor had the mission of paying attention to the road and the environment around the children.
“Do you mind if I put on my playlist? I can’t have any music playing on the way back when the kids are around, so…”
Viktor agreed, and began to fail miserably at his mission to not pay attention to Jayce Talis.
“Is that Muse?” He asked within seconds of the first song. If he had to guess, he thought Jayce wasn’t going to be the rocker type, although… well, thinking about it, it was a style that suited him. He seemed like the kind of guy who would walk into a Pink Floyd music video on YouTube and write a comment like “bands today don’t make this kind of music like they used to” or “who's listening to this on 2015?”
Or maybe not, it's not like Viktor was the best at reading people. He could be totally wrong.
“Yeah. Oh, sorry, didn’t even ask you what kind of thing you like to listen to.” The turn signal made a comfortable sound in Viktor’s ears. “Wanna choose?”
“No, I like them,” Viktor replied, eyes glued to Jayce’s arms. Dark with brown hair, they looked quite strong. Did he go to the gym regularly? Or was this the result of having to use more the strength of his upper part because of his leg injury? “But I like their other albums better.”
Jayce hadn't turned on the air conditioning, which Viktor felt positive about — cold, dry air always worsened his cough, and he enjoyed the breeze a partially open window provided. The music wasn't loud, but it was enough to hear it well and be able to talk without shouting. Outside, a typical wealthy neighborhood, well-wooded and full of traffic lights, stretched before them. The sun shone warmly in the sky, but the tinted windows helped a little. Besides everything else, even with the wind at the car's low speed, Viktor could smell Jayce's perfume lingering in the vehicle, a mixture of oak, leather, and cinnamon. Not too strong, but enough to make a presence, which Viktor also particularly enjoyed — and he was divided between wanting to feel more of it around him and being like that, smelling like a very hygienic father.
It was so pleasant that they started discussing musical tastes, bands, and comparing different phases of some of them. Viktor admitted to being a bit emo, an influence from his own time, even joking about how old Jayce was; “emo was the people with the colored pants, right?”
Viktor promised to show him some emo bands.
“If I may ask, Viktor, how old are you again?”
“Nineteen.”
Age didn’t seem like a burden. It didn’t seem like anything, actually, even though he already felt too old for such a young body. Being chronically ill does this kind of thing to you.
“Well, you’re quite young… How long have you been working?” Jayce smiled, his eyes fixed on the road. “If it’s not inconvenient to ask, of course.”
Sometimes, this kind of question was a test, a secret step that parents took to see if they could really trust the person they were hiring, but Viktor didn’t feel intimidated by the man beside him.
“Since I was fourteen, sir.”
“Please, Viktor, just call me Jayce. And that’s quite young… I also started working at that age too, but it was in my father’s business.”
“What did your father do?”
It was interesting that Jayce didn’t show pity in his words. He didn’t look at his leg and say “and is that why you use a cane?”, or anything like that. In the background, a song from the Showbiz album started playing, and Viktor smiled at the coincidence of it being his favorite.
“Here, you can add whatever you want to the playlist to play,” Jayce handed him the phone, smiling, forgetting the question for a moment, and making Viktor forget it too. My God, how handsome he is, “the password is 150903.”
Making an effort to memorize his boss's password and already thinking about what to put on the playlist, Viktor felt his smile fall along with his heart when he turned on Jayce's screen. A family photo, without the presence of the phone's owner, probably the one who took the photo — a white woman, with light brown hair, hugging two children. Very beautiful, she seemed to have green eyes and strong arms, wearing a flowery dress that highlighted the curves of her hips, really, the ideal wife.
Jayce spoke again. He said that his father worked in a carpentry shop, and he had been his assistant since he was little, until he was able to continue his studies and go to college. In college, he did odd jobs. As an adult, he got a job in engineering, where he met his wife, Harriet. Harriet. His wife. The curvy woman in the photo. The beautiful mother of his children, feminine and mature, with impeccable makeup and a bright smile.
Before everything could sink completely, they arrived at the school.
The children look very different from the photo, which is perhaps a consequence of the years that have passed since it was taken — when the two were still practically babies.
Annamarie or Anna, the youngest, had dark skin like her father, and two white teeth in the middle of a rather toothless mouth. She wore her hair in braids, black and thick, and had quite chubby cheeks. Naph, who was whiter and with lighter hair, also had chubby cheeks, but his body was more elongated, tall for his age. He seemed to have taken more after his mother, not having the yellowish-brown eyes, the straight nose, or the pronounced chin of his father and sister.
They stared at Viktor with curiosity, but not with the typical surprise of other children when they see a disabled man for the first time — because this was not the first visibly disabled man they had seen, Viktor remembered.
“Children, this is Viktor, your new babysitter. Be nice to him, okay?”
Anna, with her Sonic backpack, was the first to speak.
“We don’t need a babysitter.”
“Yeah, you already take care of us, Dad,” Naph continued, and Viktor noticed he was holding a book under his arm, with the word Wizards on the title.
“We talked about this,” Jayce suddenly became serious as he reached out to hold their backpacks and, after adjusting them on his back, their hands, “Dad can’t take care of you all the time.”
“But you didn’t say it was going to be a man!”
To this, her brother remained silent.
“And what’s wrong with him being one?”
They headed to the car, and Viktor paid attention to everything: the order of getting in (behind the driver, first Naph, then Anna, and then the backpacks), the way Jayce held their hands (with a delicate firmness), the subtlety of tones (the question about having a male babysitter was sincere).
“Babysitters can’t be men! It’s in the law!”
“What?”
Getting into the car, Jayce had to explain that there weren’t jobs that were only for men and only for women and that Viktor was a well-behaved young man, but that anything they didn’t like, that first day was going to be a test and they should talk to Jayce properly. Viktor was unsure if that was a threat, but since he was never inappropriate with his job, he wasn’t too worried.
Once again, he wondered about their mother, even knowing how problematic it was to place the responsibility for the entire family burden on her. Just because they hadn’t mentioned her, and she hadn’t shown up to test the new babysitter for their young children, didn’t mean she was a bad person, or a bad mother. Or anything at all. She could be working. She could be a nurse or something like that, something that required long periods away. Or maybe she had died. Oh my God, could she be dead? That would explain why the children in the photo were much younger, and why no one mentioned her yet…
Viktor frowned. What did it matter? He was there to earn money for his studies, nothing more.
When they got back home, Viktor asked Anna who the character on her backpack was, and Naph which book he was holding, and they immediately forgot any resistance they had towards him.
Everything went well. The children had lunch under Jayce's supervision, who, once again, warned Viktor about the children's yeses and nos, and made them promise to be good kids. Soon after, Jayce had to lock himself in the office to get back to work, and the house was free for the three of them.
Anna explained more about Sonic's lore, and Naph drew plants and rocks while Viktor washed the dishes and tidied things up for them to study together. It was surprisingly easy to get them to do their homework, and Viktor took the opportunity to study on his own at the table — every time one child or another had a question, he happily answered, helping them even to understand beyond the subject matter. Anna was really smart about school lessons and Naph talked about his curiosity about rocks, plants, and dinosaurs, and finally showed a smile when Viktor showed interest and knowledge in their conversation.
The children were friendly, normal, a little more intellectual than others he had cared for before. They showed him their toys, obeyed his requests, and of course asked him personal questions he shouldn't take seriously (children were always the biggest gossipers in the family). Anna asked several times why his hair was so soft, why he smelled like sweet hand sanitizer, and what his favorite Sonic character was (“ah, I don't, eh, I don't know it very well yet, despite your introductions. I think if I had to choose, though, maybe Tails, because he's a great friend, or Metal Sonic because he looks cool.”)
Naph observed them closely, but also showed a fondness for the babysitter, explaining things he read as if Viktor didn't know about them, but really needed to.
Jayce showed up in the late afternoon, almost at the end of Viktor's shift, to make sandwiches for everyone. Even with the refusal, he prepared one for Viktor, in foil.
“I need to go before the street gets too empty,” Viktor explained, already with his coat in hand, “I live in a somewhat, hah, dangerous neighborhood.”
It was understandable and, besides, it was in the contract — Viktor could stay later or for the night on holidays and special dates, but not in normal weekdays. Jayce hadn't asked if everything was alright, if the children had had any problems with him, and he summarized the day for him, gaining a soft smile in return — probably a good signal.
“Don’t you want a ride? The kids go to bed early and sleep like rocks.”
“I don’t want to bother you. Besides, they might wake up in your absence,” Viktor put the sandwich on top of his briefcase, “better not risk it. Also, a walk at this hour is welcome for me.”
“Okay. I understand. But if you ever need one, a ride is always available. My work usually finishes around this time,” Jayce was wearing the same casual clothes as before, and Viktor noticed once again how well his brace fit. “See you tomorrow?”
He confirmed. So he was officially hired. Not that it was always difficult, but this time it had been easier than usual, and Viktor was content with that. Mr. Talis paid well, and his neighborhood had bus access. The children gave him time to study, and they didn’t seem like the type to put themselves in danger unnecessarily. Besides, his boss understood his limitations and didn’t mind hiring a male babysitter.
Arriving home and looking at himself in the mirror, Viktor understood why Jayce hadn't asked if everything had gone well with the children: the braids that Annamarie had made in the middle of his cascades were still there. Alone in the house, he took a few moments to admire the view of the perspective of a more relaxed job with more money filling his pockets.
Sky and Lest, his two friends and roomates, hadn't arrived yet, and would probably eat out. Luckily, he had a meal already prepared, stored in aluminum foil, made by his boss. A turkey sandwich, it seemed.
It was delicious.
So, Mr. Jayce Talis was, besides being hardworking, friendly and handsome, a good cook.
When Viktor arrived the next day, there was already food ready for the rest of the day — all as delicious as the sandwich from the previous night —, so Viktor only had the task of washing the dishes in the kitchen. In the car, on the way to school, he finally added the right songs to the playlist, ignoring his thoughts — stupid and unnecessary ones of someone who just hit adulthood — about the pretty woman in the photo.
The day went well. At some point, while tidying up the toys, Naph approached Viktor and asked him to read a book to him, but it was in his father's office.
“Just knock and say I asked for it. It's the one with a daisy on the front.”
Okay.
The hallway leading to the office was darker than the rest of the house, but the presence of the two children warmed his steps. Luckily, there was no carpet or rugs in the house to make it more difficult for his legs, and as they reached the door and his cane reverberated down the hallway, Viktor noticed a bit of dust in the corners, but nothing drastic.
Knock knock. It only took a second for them to hear a “Yes?”, and Viktor had to clear his throat before speaking, suddenly too aware of his presence there.
He was glad that the two had accepted him in just one day, and seemed to respect his presence. The children didn't always like their babysitter, and he had that advantage. But the job was always strange, in a way: it required spending a quarter of the day or more in the house of strangers, in the middle of a family he didn't choose, with the ability to influence such fragile beings. With his hand against the wooden door, Viktor felt more aware of his own weight in that environment, that any mistake could be counted as the last.
“We need a book, Naph said it's there.”
The voice that followed sounded soft, certainly said with a smile.
“You can come in… only you, Viktor.”
The office was all in shades of brown, a complete mess on the desk where Jayce worked with a laptop. The curtains were black and only partially blocked the windows now, letting in the light and, along with the plants adorning the shelves and glass, giving the appearance that they weren't in the city. There was a black sofa in one corner, next to a shelf crammed with books, and the coffee table held a long-forgotten coffee mug.
In the other corner of the room, Jayce sat in a red armchair.
“Hi,” Jayce said, looking at Viktor curiously.
“Hello,” Viktor replied. The light, with the heat absorbed by the glass, reflected close to Jayce, giving his skin a golden hue. His eyes seemed even brighter, and Viktor couldn't stop looking at them.
“Which book do you need?”
“Huh? Uh, eh…”
Daddy's plant book, Naph had told him before. The two children waited at the door — Viktor hadn't closed it when he entered — each on one side, watching the father from afar. Viktor guessed they couldn't get in because there were too many things there that could fall or break with the slightest accident, since that place was a hazard waiting to happen.
“Daddy's plant book,” Viktor repeated loudly.
Jayce blinked at him.
Viktor's eyes widened, heat immediately rising to his cheeks.
Almost without reacting, Jayce stood up, took a red book with a daisy on the cover from one of the drawers, and handed it to Viktor.
Still mortified, Viktor felt his breath close, tapping on the top of his head. Jayce's body was warm, and he smelled of men's aftershave.
“This one?” His voice sounded low enough, as if it had been said only to Viktor.
Unable to answer, he was lucky to hear a child's voice behind him:
“Yeah, this one!”
Viktor gave Jayce one last look, and only then did he notice his dilated pupils. Or maybe he was imagining things. He was too fast thanking him and took a step back, putting the book under his arm before turning around to truly analyze if that was real or not.
“Anything you need, Viktor, just ask daddy here.”
Once again, he felt like he was going to faint right there.
Two more days passed.
It's not ideal — Viktor would like to have more time for his individual studies — but it's on its way. If he saves enough money, he'll be able to continue his degree. He just needs to stay focused. The “if” is solely focused on his strength to stay focused.
So, he ignored what happened on Tuesday. He ignored his own heart pounding when he saw Jayce Talis on Wednesday and Thursday, the stupid dream that left him wet in the middle of the night, the smiles he involuntarily gave when he received a smile from the man. It was okay. Jayce had several diplomas hanging in his office; he was a nuclear and mechatronics engineer, and he had managed to teach his children to always do their homework. He cooked well, from meats to stews, from pancakes to sweet cakes at the end of the day. He smelled good, was handsome, exercised in the mornings to maintain his well-toned muscles. And he had the maturity of a man who had been through thick and thin situations, understanding Viktor’s condition almost as much as himself.
He was everything Viktor had ever wanted in a man.
But, on his left ring finger, the wedding ring remained. And those children, now asleep on the sofa watching a movie, snored with the same closed eyes as their father and mother combined. And photos and objects scattered around the house belonged to their mother. And the master bedroom—there was a master bedroom.
And Jayce was his boss. Viktor was the babysitter of the children Jayce had with his wife. And there’s a very important rule, the most important one, the main rule of Viktor’s philosophy to a life without any problems: do not, under any circumstances, fall in love with the boss.
“It's getting late,” Viktor murmured so as not to wake the children.
Since it was Friday, Jayce was let out early, and he was watching the movie with them, both adults sitting across from each other on the sofa, the kids between them. In the background, Finding Nemo was playing close to the end.
“I'll wash the dishes before I leave.”
“Don’t you want to say goodbye to them?”
“No, please. Don’t wake them.” They looked like little angels, lying on the sofa together, hands intertwined. Their hair was mingled, and their faces were almost touching. “Better to take them to bed like this.”
Viktor got up to go to the kitchen. He left his cane aside to begin his work. Cups, plates, and a plastic mug were placed in the sink, and Viktor rolled up his sleeves as he searched for the sponge.
Something warm touched his back along with another plate being placed in the center.
“It’s me,” Jayce said before Viktor could scream in fright. His hands quickly gripped the beginnings of his arms to keep him upright. “It’s okay.”
But it wasn’t really, because instead of shouting, Viktor found himself unable to move even his mouth with the mass of muscle behind him, Jayce’s torso too noticeable in its weight against him. Trapped between Jayce and the sink, Viktor felt his legs give way completely, but he was held by the waist to stop him from continuing down.
“Oops, did I scare you too much? Sorry.” However, his tone didn't sound regretful, and if Viktor wasn't imagining things, it even seemed amused. “You’ve been a great help this week, you know. The boys have never trusted a babysitter so quickly,” he finally stepped back, but only enough for Viktor to put his elbows back without hitting him; his hand remained on his lower back, a comforting reminder that he was present, “makes me question a few things…”
“Question things?”
“You know, it’s harder for a male babysitter to get a job, generally.” As Jayce explained, Viktor decided to start washing the dishes, dripping detergent on the sponge. The family had a dishwasher, but Jayce had said on Monday that he didn’t like putting plastic dishes in it too often. “And it might not seem like it, but Naph is very intelligent, and he hates when someone has to take care of him. Anna isn’t the most friendly with new people either. But then you showed up and fit in like a glove.”
“Well, I… have experience. And you just have to treat the children like human beings and not just little adults, and they usually react well.”
That hand seemed too low, too close to his ass. It was wide, and Viktor noticed, with self-loathing, how easy it would be for Jayce to dominate him, to hold both his ankles with one hand, or to hold his waist or neck or…
Perhaps because of the daydreams he let slip, unintentionally:
“And maybe being a homosexual man also makes me more delicate with them. Not that a straight man doesn't have the same capacity, but not everyone would let a girl braid their hair on their first day of work or explain to the boy that he can't be too rough with anyone in an argument, even if he’d win with it.”
What? What are you saying? The moment he spoke, he felt his stomach tighten. Not every family accepted the existence of non-heterosexual people, it was of no importance to a boss, and someone from the outside probably wouldn't see the sense in his logic. Stupid, stupid, stupid, that's so dangerous of you—
But Jayce kept his hand in the same place, even seemed to move closer. Trembling a bit from the adrenaline, Viktor held a knife in his hand as a precaution, even though it was ridiculously small, blunt, and made of purple plastic. Anything could help if put enough strength on it.
“Hm, that makes sense. It adds sensitivity, right?”
Viktor almost smiled at the answer. The presence was still strong beside him, and he was starting to feel dizzy. He trembled, without realizing it. For a moment, he wished Jayce would admit that his wife wasn't alive and that he actually wasn’t straight and wanted Viktor, that he would finally grab his hips and turn him around to kiss him, to affirm that the children were in their beds and that he had actually come to hit on him. Baseless fantasies, created only by the boss's characteristic perfume, by the furnace that was his body so close, by the hoarseness of his voice when he asked:
“Anyway, you've been a great help, and I wanted to help you a little too. Are you sure you don't want a ride today? I think it's going to rain, and I don't want you to get wet.”
Viktor didn’t mind being wet, really, since it was something that was already happening. Jayce could put him on the counter, rip off his clothes, and stick his tongue inside him right now to test it. He could drop him to the ground and mount him without preparation, from how slippery he was already. He could use all his power and strength to rip his heart from his chest and force him to do whatever he wanted.
However, the low tone of his voice, the subtle touch on his shoulder, and the proximity of their eyes were already more than enough to leave Viktor throbbing between his legs and cross-eyed with his own desire, his lips already contracted in acceptance.
“Okay,” he replied, letting the last drops slide down his skin, cold.
They were close, and they would be even closer with the ride. Viktor could already imagine himself back on the leather seat, between the shadows of the lampposts, with one of Jayce's hands inside his pants, discovering his insides ready for him. He could fantasize about them parking behind some random house to finish their chores in a dirty, indecent way, clothes crumpled and mouths red, windows fogged and marks all over their skin, and saying goodbye half an hour later at his door, both of them too euphoric for Jayce to notice the poverty of his neighborhood. He imagined himself now, if he left the last dirty dish to lean in a little and accept those lips, so close, so close…
“Mommy!”
The children’s cries, agitated by nature, made them both jump in place. A commotion seemed to take over the living room, so Jayce went to look, and Viktor barely had time to recover when he heard heels echoing nearby, all the way to the sofa.
He walked in and had a vision similar to what he had been imagining before, but in its most malevolent version possible — Jayce was kissing a woman with long hair, as tall as him, in a purple dress. A beautiful woman, with a beautiful man, with a beautiful family.
It was quick and simple, but the image of the two of them together, so healthy and beautiful, along with the children hugging their mother’s legs, made all the desire turn into heavy bile in the pit of Viktor’s stomach.
“Viktor, this is Harriet, my wife. Harriet, this is the babysitter I told you about, Viktor.”