Work Text:
It started as unassuming as most things do. Bilbo Baggins of the Shire had been contemplating the odd behaviour towards him as of recent. His company of dwarves had been, well…strange to say the least. He knows that he is perhaps not the most knowledgeable in the ways of their people, but he did think that he had some sense to him. Enough to piece together when something was out of the ordinary; and this was definitely that. He had thought that after Thorin had apologized that he would be welcomed among them once again, even throughout the tedious work of restoring Erebor. Perhaps he had been wrong? No, he surely must be misunderstanding, or reading into it too much. Surely his dwarves hadn’t meant to exclude him, or make him feel ostracized. Surely, this is a small matter and could be fixed quite quickly.
Perhaps he should address this issue promptly, and nip it in the bud. Yes, he should do that immediately. He was tired of the whispered comments, and the hushed looks, and the general bubble everyone seemed to give him whenever he did anything. It seemed as if everyone was intentionally avoiding him at all costs. It had been almost three weeks since he had even seen Thorin, let alone be able to actually have a conversation with him. Now, he was well aware that Thorin is a King, and is therefore a very busy dwarf. But Thorin had always made an effort to make time for Bilbo. They quite often would sup together while both finishing up their paperwork together. He had cherished those moments, and did so even after Thorin called an abrupt end to them. He hadn’t even cared to give a good explanation; just a half-assed apology, and a quarter-assed excuse to pair with it.
Bilbo trudged towards the private dining hall the company usually took their meals in. However, he stopped abruptly when he heard what they were speaking of.
“No, absolutely not. Under no circumstances is anyone to share this information to Master Baggins. He cannot know.” What? What on Yavanna’s Green Earth could they possibly be talking about?
“And if he finds out on his own? The lad’s not exactly an idiot.” He should damn well hope so! He’s the reason most of his dwarves aren’t currently with their maker! But…he really shouldn’t be eavesdropping, it is a private conversation after all.
“I’m not so sure about that. You’d think he was an idiot from how he is with Thorin.” A loud chorus of laughter accompanied Dwalin’s statement.
…Okay screw what he said about eavesdropping. There is no way in hell he wasn’t going to listen in now. But in his own defence, you try to not listen in when you overhear your supposed friends speaking about you behind your back! Wait, what did they say about him and Thorin? They couldn’t possibly know that he…could they? No, that’s not possible. He worked so hard to make sure his tendencies went unnoticed. There was no way they could even suspect him…right? Yea, no of course they couldn’t, he ensured it. He should banish that thought from his mind immediately. Focus on the conversation Bilbo, even if Dwalin’s comment hurt slightly.
“Yea, you’d think he would take a hint, wouldn’t you?” …ouch Kili. What was that supposed to mean? Did Thorin not want him around? Has Bilbo been bothering him this whole time and hasn’t realized it? Was he really that blinded by his love for Thorin that he was oblivious to what was right in front of his face this entire time? Had Thorin been upset and annoyed with him, and that was why he had put an end to their dinners?
Did…did Thorin actually hate Bilbo and was just entertaining him this whole time? Like Bilbo was just some overeager child?
That hurt Bilbo more deeply than he was ever willing to admit to anyone aloud.
“Well either way, it’s easiest to just steer clear of Bilbo, let Thorin handle it.”
Oh.
So they have been avoiding him. Even though he suspected, it hurt to find out. What he hadn’t expected was Thorin’s role in this.
…What was Thorin planning on doing anyway?
Shit. Thorin knew that Bilbo was in love with him. No, no, no this cannot be happening. He had been so careful! Fuck, Bilbo needed to leave immediately. Okay Bilbo, it will be alright, you just need to get back to your rooms and then you can have a proper freakout.
By the time he got back to his rooms, every single possible outcome had passed through his mind. Would it be too late for Bilbo to pack his things and start his way back to the Shire? It would be less humiliating than remaining in Erebor as a pariah. That is to say, if he wasn’t exiled. But…perhaps his tendencies were not as big of an issue here as they were in the Shire? He could have sworn that he had previously seen wed dwarrow couples throughout Erebor. It would make sense with the overwhelmingly male dwarven population. Not everyone is able to marry a dwarrowdam. Maybe it was because Bilbo was a hobbit? Dwarves were known for their secretiveness, after all. Perhaps that was where the issue truly lied. Bilbo had gotten too close and now Thorin was meant to politely ask him to leave. He had overextended his stay in the mountain. He was going to be banished. Again. Through no reason but his own fault. Again. This would have never happened if he hadn’t gotten close with Thorin. He should have kept a friendly distance. He regrets ever having to put his love in a position like this…it would probably be best if he just left on his own. That way he can make this as easy as he can on Thorin. Yes, that would be best.
Just as he made the decision to begin packing, a knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts. He took a few seconds to collect himself and ensure that he didn’t look like he was on the verge of a breakdown.
‘Stop that,’ He told himself, ‘You will not break down over something as silly as this. You knew it was coming eventually. You couldn’t stay here forever. It was only a matter of time.’
With that thought, he opened the door and found the single person he was dreading seeing the most. On the other side of the door stood Thorin Oakenshield in his kingly glory. Bilbo’s heart sped up at the sight, but whether it was from nerves or his attraction he did not know.
“Thorin, what a surprise. What brings you here on this fine day?” Bilbo asked in a way that sounded way more casual than he felt.
“Ah, Master Baggins, I was hoping I may have a word with you? I-if you aren’t preoccupied, that is?” Thorin looked uncharacteristically nervous, like asking this of Bilbo was an arduous and painful task. Bilbo really didn’t want to speak with him at this moment, but couldn’t find a way to politely turn him away.
‘Well, better get this over with. No need to prolong this or make a scene.’ Bilbo thought to himself.
“Oh, yes of course. Please come in.” He said as he stepped aside to allow Thorin to enter. Wow, was he dreading this conversation. “Would you like to have a seat?” Bilbo asked, gesturing towards the comfortable armchairs by the fireplace.
“No, no thank you. I think I would rather stand for this.” Here it comes, Thorin is going to tell him he is no longer welcome. Well, it was nice while it lasted. Bilbo would forever cherish his time with his dwarves…who were no longer his the more he thought about it. What claim to them did he have when they clearly did not want him in return.
“Oh, yes, yes. Well, honestly Thorin, I think I know what this is about-” Thorin cut him off, looking shocked.
“You…You do? What? Did one of the others tell you? I swear, if they did-”
“No one told me Thorin! They didn’t need to. Contrary to popular belief, I am capable of reading a room. There is truly no reason to string this out longer than needed. I’ll just pack my things, and head out once the new dawn breaks. There’s no need to-”
“...You’re leaving?” Thorin asked in a small and disbelieving voice, vastly different from his normal demeanor. Bilbo has never seen him appear so small before, not even in the soft moments they used to share when they were closer.
“Well…yes? Is that not what you came to ask of me? To make me aware of my own misgivings of overextending yours and your people’s hospitality? I knew my time here could not last forever. I only ask for your forgiveness for overstaying my welcome.” He said in a sullen tone. He was struggling to maintain his composure the longer this conversation went on. He would need to end this quickly to avoid making a fool of himself.
“Who told you that you were not welcome with our people? I will have their beard. I will-” The longer he spoke, the more enraged he became. Bilbo had not expected this sort of reaction. Thorin abruptly cut himself off. “Wait…you said you had always intended to leave? Did you…were you just going to decide to leave one day?” He sounded more hurt than Bilbo had expected.
“I mean…we both knew that I was supposed to go back to the Shire at the end of our journey. That was always the plan, no matter how much I love the mountain and the company, I knew I would not be welcome to stay forever.”
“But you do want to? Stay, that is?” Thorin gave Bilbo an intense and heavy look, like everything was riding on his response to the question. It did cross Bilbo’s mind to lie and say no, but Bilbo was Thorin’s burglar, not a liar. Besides, even if he was, he doesn’t think he would ever be able to bring himself to lie to Thorin. Bilbo looked towards the ground as he responded in a small voice.
“Thorin of course I want to stay. I love it here, but that doesn’t really mean much currently.”
“Then it has been decided. You will stay. Here, in the mountain, with us. With me.” Bilbo searched his face to see if he truly meant what he said, but Thorin was nothing but open and honest. He even seemed to be slightly scared, but that didn’t make sense to Bilbo so he chose to ignore it for now.
“It’s not that simple, Thorin. I can’t just-”
“And why isn’t it? Why can’t it be that simple? You like being here, we like having you here, so why should you leave? You belong here Bilbo.” Thorin continued, a hint of desperation bleeding into his voice as he spoke. “I know that after everything I have done, after how I have treated you, that I am undeserving of your…company. But please, let me spend the rest of our days making it up to you.” At this statement, he reached into his cloak pocket and pulled out the single most beautiful bead Bilbo has ever seen. It was carved from birch wood, with miniscule engravings encompassing the entire surface. To hobbits, birch was a very important wood. It represented fertility and renewal, new beginnings and hope. Newly wed Hobbits had a tradition of planting a birch sapling in the yard of their new home, so the tree will grow alongside their love and bless their homes. It was also common at baby showers and birthdays to incorporate birch wood into their floral arrangements. At this moment, Bilbo wondered if birch wood represented the same thing to dwarves that it did to hobbits. He looked up at Thorin’s face, and noticed that he was uncharacteristically vulnerable. “I made it by mine own hand.” he said as he held it towards him. Bilbo felt as though he was missing a significant piece to this puzzle. He had no clue what he was supposed to do here. He knew that beads were vaguely important to dwarves, but had no clue as to what the extent was. Every second that Bilbo failed to respond, Thorin looked more and more dejected. “If…if it is not to your liking I can-”
“No! No, it’s not that. It’s beautiful, it truly is Thorin. I just feel as if I’m missing something here, something significant? I don’t understand why you are giving this to me?”
This seemed to throw Thorin off. He seemed confused, opening his mouth and closing it right after a few times, before he seemed to clue in.
“Do…do hobbits not exchange courting gifts?”
“Uhm…not really. We normally exchange bouquets and baked goods. Why is that relevant?”
Thorin looked even more confused at this. Was his hobbit really so oblivious? Perhaps he had fallen and hit his head recently. Maybe he should take him to Oin later on.
“...Beacuse I am attempting to bestow you with a courting gift?”
“...I beg your pardon?”
“Oh, I-I apologize Master Hobbit. I had thought that you had also- I should just leave. I apologize for wasting your time.” Thorin rushed out as he walked towards the door, attempting to make a swift exit.
“Wait, Thorin, hold on just a moment.” Bilbo said as he blocked the doorway, preventing Thorin from leaving. “I am unfamiliar with this. Are we even allowed to court? I understand that dwarves differ from hobbits but would we even be allowed to wed? Is that common? How would that even work? Us…courting? You’re the King, don’t you need to…produce heirs?” he rushed out, as if the words were racing to get to Thorin before he left. At his comments, Thorin looked shocked.
“Bilbo…Do hobbits not…do hobbits…Are you permitted to court other males? Back in the Shire?”
“Well…no. It’s just not the done thing. I’m aware that it’s not the same here though. I have seen other dwarrow acting as couples, but surely you don’t mean to tell me that they are wed?”
“Of course they are, why wouldn’t they be wed? Why would we ever prohibit that? We would never stand in the way of a dwarf’s One.”
“Their…One?”
“...Yes? A dwarf’s other half? Given to us by Mahal himself when he created us? Every dwarf has one. We are blessed with this gift. I believe that us dwarves are the only race that has such a gift, but I was under the impression that it was common knowledge to others.”
“Oh yes, common knowledge to everyone. Even though dwarves are widely regarded as the most secretive race about their culture. Yes, how was I so unaware of this? But what about your duty to produce heirs?”
“I don’t need to do that. I have Fili and Kili. They have always been my heirs. Even if I were to have children of my own, I would not change that.” Thorin had remained steadfast, hope slowly building within him. Maybe this was simply a misunderstanding, and Bilbo would accept his gift. Maybe he still had a chance.
Bilbo took a few moments to contemplate this before responding.
“But, I thought that…I don’t understand. What do the others think of this? I thought they didn’t want me here anymore?”
“Why would you think that?”
“Be-because they’ve been avoiding me! And talking about me behind my back! I just overheard them mere hours ago speaking about how I was an idiot who couldn’t take a hint, and that there are things I couldn’t know and that they should all avoid me! How in the world does that not seem like they want me to leave?” Thorin winced at this comment, looking very sheepish. “What did you do, Thorin?”
“I apologize, Bilbo. That may in part be my own fault. They knew I was planning on asking for your hand, and…well they couldn’t keep a secret if their lives depended on it, especially my nephews. But they hadn’t wanted to ruin the surprise, so they just figured the easiest way to not tell you would be to not speak to you at all. Ghivashel, I am so sorry, I should have realized how that would appear. I will ensure that they make this up to you. You should have not been left to wonder if you had done something wrong. I assure you that you haven’t.”
“And the whispered names? Calling me an idiot?”
Thorin winced again.
“Ah, yes, that…I think it was mostly in jest. Teasing at the fact that you had not known of my affections towards you. For dwarves, I have been quite…forward. But that wouldn’t really mean anything if you weren’t familiar with our ways. I guess it just hadn’t crossed our minds that you would be unaware of our practices. It’s felt like you’ve been here the whole time, so we forget that you were not raised with such traditions. Once again, my love, I am deeply sorry.”
Bilbo let out a shaky laugh as he dropped into one of his armchairs. They had been a gift from Thorin shortly after his recovery, once the repairs of Erebor had been well underway.
“I can’t believe this.” He ran his hands through his hair, stressed out. “One big misunderstanding. By Yavanna, how do we keep finding ourselves in these outrageous circumstances, even after our adventure is completed.” Thorin took a seat in the chair next to him. He had a steady presence, and patiently waited for Bilbo to compose himself. “So, I’m not being sent away?”
“I would never send you away. Once was enough to instill a lifetime of shame.”
“And we would be permitted to court?”
“If you would have me.”
“...And this isn’t some cruel dream?”
“Uhm…no?”
“Ask.”
Thorin looked confused, so he clarified. “Ask me again.” Thorin took a deep breath before a bright smile stretched across his face.
“Bilbo Baggins. I offer you this bead carved from birch tree. I made it by mine own hand.” At this, he extended the bead towards Bilbo, who took it into his own, a matching smile on his face.
“I shall cherish it forever.” he said as he leaned in for a kiss.
“I’m thrilled but I need you to say ‘And I accept it with mine own hand.’ for the courting to be official.”
“Oh! Whoops. I accept it with mine own hand. It’s beautiful Thorin, thank you.”
At Bilbo’s acceptance of his courting gift, he leaned in to kiss his hobbit. He had never imagined this to be possible. His hobbit was the single kindest and most forgiving creature alive. Thorin has no clue what he did in his past lives to deserve such a gift. It would have had to been something great to offset all of his wrongdoings in his current life.
“Just because we are courting now, don’t think I won’t enact my revenge on the company for this misunderstanding.”
Thorin let out a laugh. Perhaps kind and forgiving, but nonetheless fierce, and slightly scary.
“I would expect nothing less.”
fin.