Chapter Text
Regina found herself laying in bed late at night during her summer break, unable to get her mind to quiet down. It certainly didn't help that her back ached, but the back ache was simply a part of her life. It had been since the moment that bus slammed into her, sending her hurtling through the air. Regina didn't remember anything after that moment, except for the blinding pain, until the moment she woke up from her coma, two weeks later. Her parents told her that they had spent most of the time in the hospital along with Kylie and that Karen and Gretchen visited daily, along with Shane. She had even gotten visits from Aaron and Janis, though she had to take her parents' word for it.
After she woke up, the doctors told her that she had, miraculously, kept her ability to walk, but that she would deal with chronic back pain for the rest of her life.
Regina had never been an overly optimistic person, but after nearly dying, she had to admit that was a pretty good deal. Her near death experience had also forced her to stop and take stock of the person she had become in the past few years. And sure, she had been dealing with emotionally unavailable parents, and an eating disorder, and hiding her sexual orientation, but that was no excuse.
She had been a vicious, vindictive person, and she had to do better.
So, she accepted Cady's olive branch, and she apologized to everyone she had hurt in her life, from her little sister, Kylie, to her best friends Karen and Gretchen, to her ex Aaron, and of course, Janis. Janis had been the trickiest apology out of all, given that there was so much pain and betrayal between them, but Regina was happy she had apologized, even if Janis wasn't ready to fully forgive her yet. Her apologies paved the way to the merging of the two friend groups, and before she knew it, Regina was hanging out with Karen, Gretchen, Damian, Cady, and Janis. Shane and Aaron joined them occasionally, but they weren't really a part of the main friend group.
Regina needed some time to get used to being a part of a bigger friend group, especially one where she wasn't the queen bee, but she was adjusting well, she thought.
The only minor issue she had was the fact that, having come to terms with her sexuality, she had realized that she had a crush on Janis. She had never had a crush on a girl before, at least not that she realized, and she wasn't sure how to deal with it, especially since she had such a loaded history with Janis. Other than that, though, the friend group was great. They had been hanging out together after spring fling and through the summer practically every day.
Despite the notable improvements in her own behavior and her relationships with other people, Regina had been feeling restless. She wasn't sure why exactly, but her mind kept drifting to Gretchen the entire night. Her best friend had seemed off, somehow, the past couple of weeks. Every time Regina asked her about it, Gretchen put on a fake smile and brushed the blonde off. Regina wanted to know if anything was wrong, but she didn't want to be a bully, so she backed off.
After turning for the 503rd time since getting into bed, Regina grabbed her phone from its wireless charger on the night stand and unlocked it. There were a few notifications— one from Shane for the 15 TikToks he had sent her, one from Janis with a link for the foundation she had used since Regina realized that Janis really knew her makeup, and one from Cady to the group chat about some event at the Chicago Zoo.
It was 1:34 am, so Regina left the notifications, not opening any of them because late night was her Regina time. She preferred not communicating with anyone in that time.
She was scrolling through Instagram and trying to figure out if she should take something to help her fall asleep, when her phone started buzzing in her hand with an incoming call. It was from Karen, which made her frown instinctively. Karen didn't really like staying up late.
"Hey." Regina answered the call "Is everything okay?"
"Gretch's mom just called me." Karen said, her voice more grave than Regina had ever heard it "G-Gretchen tried to kill herself. They found her passed out with pills."
"Fuck." Regina cursed and sat upright "I-Is she alive?"
"I think so. They took her to the hospital, I'm going over there now." Karen explained.
"I'll come too." Regina assured her, already on her feet, moving towards the closet.
She put on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, grabbing the first sneakers she could, before rushing out of her room and down the stairs. Her card holder wallet had her credit card, her ID, and her driver's license, so she took that, her car keys, and her house keys, and ran out of the house. The drive to the hospital took about 15 minutes, and before she knew it, Regina was rushing inside towards the waiting room. She had familiarized herself with the hospital, after staying there for a month, and then doing PT there for the next three months.
She found Karen and Gretchen's parents in the waiting room, which she expected, but she also found Cady and Aaron, which she didn't expect.
"What happened? What do we know?" Regina blurted out breathlessly.
"Regina, hi, sweetheart." Gretchen's mom pulled Regina into a hug as she blinked back tears. Gretchen's parents, like pretty much all of their parents could've hated Regina, but instead, they had enough grace and understanding to forgive her and welcome her back with open arms.
"We aren't sure yet. We found her unconscious with a half-empty bottle of the Xanax pills the doctor prescribed for her anxiety."
"Jesus…" Regina breathed, running a hand through her hair "She's gonna pull through. She has to."
"Yeah…"
Regina sat down next to Karen, who was hunched over, shaking like a leaf, twirling the ring on her index finger restlessly. Regina took her hand in her own, giving it a squeeze, as Cady did the same thing on Karen's other side. Neither of them had said anything about it, but Regina had noticed Karen and Gretchen being more touchy and kind of flirty. The blonde was pretty sure they were into each other, but neither of them seemed to be willing to make the first step. Or maybe they had and they were just afraid of telling her.
About 10 minutes after Regina arrived, Janis and Damian burst into the waiting room, looking panicked. Regina met Janis' gaze and she saw something tortured in the brunette's eyes. As the two best friends settled opposite Regina, she noticed how tense Janis was, how she kept bouncing her leg up and down, how her eyes kept darting around. Regina knew why Janis was behaving that way. Once upon a time, she, herself, had attempted suicide. After Regina did what she did, when her parents took her out of school and put her in art therapy.
They sat there waiting for news, praying for good news for the next two hours or so. Every time a doctor or a nurse went by, they all tensed up. And then finally, a middle-aged doctor with greying hair walked through the door and towards Gretchen's parents.
"Gretchen is stable in the ICU." He told them "She was touch-and-go for a while, but we managed to stabilize her. She is sleeping now, but I would like to go over your next steps."
"Alright." Gretchen's dad nodded.
"Kids, why don't you head home. Try to get some rest." He turned to the teenagers "We will keep you updated, but you can't visit her in the ICU anyway."
"Okay." Regina murmured, along with everyone else, though she didn't like it one bit.
The six of them made their way out of the hospital, all of them quiet and subdued. Nobody knew what to say.
"How did you get here?" Regina asked Janis and Damian. She had seen Karen's car in the parking lot, and Aaron was holding his car keys, so that was pretty clear.
"My grandma's jazzy." Damian supplied, making all of them smile for a brief moment.
"I can give you a ride home, if you don't mind leaving it here." Regina offered.
"My grandma's out of town anyway." Damian nodded in agreement immediately.
"If you hear anything…" Regina told Karen and Cady, and both of them nodded.
"You too." Cady responded, voice raspy.
None of them were feeling too chatty so they just said 'Goodnight' and retreated to their respective cars.
Regina drove Damian home first, and he thanked her for the ride, before heading inside the house. The drive from Damian's to Janis' only took about five minutes, and they spent it in silence. Regina wanted to say something, she just didn't know how to talk to Janis, especially with the night's events.
"Did you have any idea?" Janis asked, voice barely above a whisper.
"No." Regina replied, grasping the steering wheel tightly "I- I noticed her acting off, but I never thought…"
"Yeah, nobody ever does." Janis murmured.
"Are- Are you okay?" Regina asked, even though it made her heart rate pick up with anxiety.
"I'm fine." Janis replied sharply. It indicated she was most certainly not fine, but Regina knew better than to push.
She dropped Janis off and then went home, climbing into bed though she knew she wouldn't be able to fall asleep. She kept thinking about Gretchen over and over again, and eventually, she went to her shelves, where she had put the music box, grabbed the box, and her photo albums and settled on the plush carpet of her bedroom. She opened the music box, letting it play, as she looked through the pictures of herself and her friends.
She had been going through the pictures for a few minutes, when the door creaked open, admitting Kylie. Kylie was 6 years old, and the light of Regina's life. When she was in the hospital with a bunch of fixators and suffering unspeakable pain, she just kept focusing on surviving because of Kylie.
"Reggie?" She approached, rubbing her eye with her right hand "What are you doing?"
"I couldn't sleep, so I'm looking through some pictures." Regina explained, and the child plopped down on her lap.
Regina spent the early morning like that, and she brought her parents up to speed, who immediately reached out to Gretchen's parents to offer comfort and help. Regina drifted off around 11 am and she slept until 7:30 pm, when Karen called her.
"Hey," She spoke, sounding defeated "I am leaving the hospital now."
"Any news?"
"She's awake and talking, but she wouldn't see me. She won't see any of us." Karen explained shakily "H-Her parents said they are sending her to some luxury mental health rehab outside of Chicago. Said they'd be in touch when they got her settled."
"Shit." Regina muttered "Well, I guess, now we wait until they tell us we can visit."
"This sucks." Karen sniffled.
"I know."
"Why didn't she just talk to me?! I'm a good listener." Karen added, clearly shaken.
"You're the best listener." Regina assured her, and she meant it "I- I just think that she was struggling with this more than she knew."
"Yeah."
"Go home, try to get some rest," Regina told her "and we'll figure out how to help her."
"Okay."
After the call with Karen, Regina felt restless and anxious, so she got into her car and drove off. She drove mindlessly for about 20 minutes, before she realized she was pulling to a stop near the playground where she and her friends practically grew up. It was where she and Janis played all the time, and it was where they met Karen and Gretchen. Damian too. It was already getting dark, so the playground was empty, which gave Regina a chance to take a seat on the swings.
She sat there, staring at the sunset, replaying her interactions with Gretchen from the moment they met up until the last time Regina had seen her before the suicide attempt. She knew, objectively, that Gretchen had always been an anxious person with very low self-worth, but she also knew that she, Regina George, had contributed to Gretchen's low self-worth. Years of disrespect at her expense, years of bullying, years of dismissal, years of being a terrible friend that only took and gave nothing in return. She may not have been the only reason Gretchen attempted suicide, but she sure as shit was the main reason.
"I guess we had the same idea." Janis remarked, snapping her out of her reverie. The brunette joined her on the swings, staring straight ahead.
"I don't know where we go from here." Regina confided in a whisper.
"Nobody does." Janis responded evenly "We just…show up and hope for the best."
Regina knew that Gretchen's recovery was going to be long and painful, she knew that Gretchen was going to have to face her demons, many of which originated from Regina. And the blonde knew it was a selfish thought to have, but she was worried that once Gretchen went through the healing process, she wouldn't want to be around Regina anymore. She would be well within her rights to do so, but it would devastate Regina.
No matter what happened, though, Regina was going to be the friend that she always should've been to Gretchen.