Chapter Text
The thick, golden lava is pooling around my feet and I can feel it seeping into my socks and shoes. It’s not hot, like I assumed, but it is burning. Like a sharp, zapping electrical sensation, and I wince a little at the feeling. In a second, though, the feeling fades and a new one begins, further up my leg as the disgusting blob creeps its way over our bodies. It seems once it has sucked whatever it wants out of me, that part of my body goes numb.
But I’m still standing, still rooted to the spot, in a circle with my family as they babble on about things I’m not even listening to anymore. We always were shit at goodbyes.
Even now, knowing that all of this was my brilliant idea, I think maybe I made a mistake. It doesn’t feel right to be giving up this easily. Granted, I have no idea how we would have defeated the Bennifer blob but still… we’ve faced worse things, haven’t we? Poor Ben… I wish he’d had a more dignified death.
The Cleanse, or whatever the fuck it is, it almost up to my waist now. My thoughts are flipping through my brain at maximum speed, showing me all of the things, bad and good, I’ve done throughout my life. I guess it really does flash before your eyes at the end. Which is weird, because I’ve thought I was at the end of my rope a dozen times before.
Why is this different? Why is my entire existence re-animated before me like some sort of existential zoetrope?
The goop has traveled up to my chest now and I gasp. Not from the horrible, stinging sensation, but at a realization. This is wrong. This is all wrong. This entire universe is wrong.
This isn’t a sacrifice for the good of the world. This is a trap.
I’m waking up, like I’ve been asleep for the past six years. No, not asleep. Sedated.
Not just with drugs, although that certainly didn’t help; but by my father’s alien manipulation. Ever since we stepped off that elevator and into this new world, nothing has felt right. Nothing has even looked right. And yet, it never occurred to me to figure out why. And that definitely doesn’t make sense.
Some of my memories are blurred, especially from the beginning. Why had I just left Viktor there? Why did we all separate? I had spent the previous several weeks trying to herd my cat-like siblings together, so why would I have stopped then?
Instead, I had walked to a bar, having no problem getting in or being served, despite looking like a kid. In hindsight, that should have been a big red flag. I was three whiskeys deep and there had been a man sitting next to me, rambling on about job opportunities and what I had to make it to the top. I kept agreeing to everything he said, like I couldn’t help it. Like a puppet on a string.
The rest of the years passed by in a dull fog. Like being trapped in a glass box full of smoke and watching the world go by just beyond the walls.
How the fuck was I working for the CIA? More importantly, why? And why were my siblings all a bunch of losers? Ok, that’s not a fair question, all things considered, but why were they such miserable losers?
Klaus was a germophobic head case with zero personality. Like someone had taken him and dipped him in a vat of bleach and drained all of the “Klaus-ness” out of him. Diego and Luther had become exponentially dumber in a short amount of time. I mean, there’s being an idiot and then there’s being a giant fucking moron. And those two clearly fit into the latter category.
Lila and Diego were suburban parents trying to make ends meet instead of being the completely crack-headed, burdens on society I would expect. And I distinctly remember killing her parents in the past (this was a point of contention between us for some reason) but they were back now? Did no one ever question this incomprehensible fact?
Ray left Allison, but when I think about it now, I have no idea why. It didn’t seem like she got anything worth conspiring with Reggie over. Except Claire, who I’m glad to see turned out normal, against all odds.
Viktor left to run a bar? He’s never once mentioned that being something he’d be interested in. And Ben… ok, I actually have no problem believing that asshole would end up in jail.
But all of this… all of this coming back to me is like being brought back to life. This is horrible timing, considering we are a few short seconds away from obliteration. I want to scream and pull away and tell everyone “No! This is a mistake! I was wrong! Fight back!” but I can’t. The marigold/durango hybrid slop is up to my neck now. It’s hard to breathe.
I squeeze Lila’s hand next to me; hard. I squeeze it twice, somehow thinking I can relay my message to her telepathically. She needs to mimic my power. It’s a last-ditch effort but that’s what I’m good at. Never too late for a Hail Mary.
I have no idea if she understands but I have to try anyway. I squeeze my eyes shut and try and focus the last of my power into one, concentrated, point of light behind my eyes. I don’t know where to go or if I can even get free of this alien thing trying to digest us. I don’t even know if I can time travel anymore, now that my powers seem unreliable. But maybe now that I’m in a clear headspace, I can make it work.
It’s in my mouth now and I’m suffocating. There’s only one second left and I use it to conjure up the last place and time I actually felt something akin to happiness. I think of the one person that isn’t already here with me that I would love to see again. I think of her.