Chapter Text
It was workday just like another. Adam was returning from the accountant’s office walking through the long corridor past the library’s study. He liked that space, high ceilings with ancient dark wood bookshelves filled with atlases and encyclopedias, giant volumes too big to carry home. There was always life despite silence. Familiar faces of old people immersed in their hobbies, desperate students biting through boring literature mostly. Sometimes new faces not fitting quite here.
Adam walked through the shadows, carrying stack of documents, his steps unheard like the one of feline despite his majestic height. He saw small figure hunched over the book, light from the window creating halo over person’s wild hair. He thought it was woman at first, seeing such pretty curls. When he walked past he spotted the strong profile of the middle aged man, austere and frowning. Man felt being watched and glared at him, so it almost burned Adam. Librarian’s lips formed shy half-smile and he disappeared into the shadows like deer being spotted by the wolf. Man was thinking for a moment, frown lines deepening on his face, then he returned attention to his book and notes scribbling.
Librarian returned to his dim office filled with ancient books ready to be turned digital and saved from the inevitable death of matter. That was his job, turning disintegrating paper into digital documents, prolonging its life a little longer. He continued to scan Zola’s Therese Raquin novel edition from 1892. He did read fast, finished thousands of books while scanning them. This one disgusted him. He despised abuse against old woman, appalled by animal cruelty. He felt relief when murderers took their lives, but story still left uneasy feelings in him.
When he was processing scanned work he found himself doing mistakes, his mind wandering back to the strange visitor. That man was attractive. Adam wondered what he could be? What’s his profession? What he was studying? Looked like man who spends lot of time thinking, researching, judging by his deep lines on the forehead. Could be lawyer, these were common clients here. No. His looks was too vulgar, way too different from refined looks of attorneys. This man doesn’t care what others think of him. He must be something else. Had aura of intelligence and hint of danger. Adam was attracted by it, despite being wary of it. He sighed. This man would send him straight to hell if he dared to say hi to him.
Adam always had low self esteem. It was learned. Was born as healthy kid, but then his body started acting strangely. Deep cracks on his skin appeared, requiring many reconstructive surgeries, skin discoloration than never goes away, blood vessels forever damaged, leaving parts of his skin icy cold and blue. Pain in his bones that grew too fast. He felt monstrous, always being stared at. He spent part of his childhood in hospitals, being „zombie“ weirdo in school, people being scared of him like he was infectious. Never had many friends, at best he was tolerated, secluded from usual activities. At least he found peace in his loving family and in nature. But deep down he craved love and friendship and he was terrified of it at once.
After three he prepared to leave, walking past study carefully bracing himself to be burned by the fiery gaze again, but the man was long gone. Adam felt relief and sadness, secretly wished he’d see him again someday.
He walked through the city, towering over most of pedestrians, face hidden in hoodie. Taking a bus he traveled to the outskirts, where he lived with his father in the old mill. Mr. De Lacey was man in his seventies with poor eyesight, in pension. Adam had also older brother and sister, but they lived on their own with their families, in the same village, but often visiting their father. Mother died long ago. So most of the time there was old man, Adam and their animals. They had cat, husky and some chickens. Adam cared of these with most gentlessness. Just few steps out of the house, he could walk into the forest. He loved it there and wouldn’t change it for anything, seeking comfort and peace in the rustling leaves and bird songs.
But today Adam couldn’t find the peace of the mind. And old man noticed. „Are you alright? You seems so sad today.“ said the old man during the dinner. „I’m fine.“ replied Adam. He quite even didn’t know how to describe the feeling. He felt fine, so there was no problem. But old man knew. He knew because he was very close to his son. But didn’t taunt him, didn’t pry. Let him live.
That night he dreamed of rugged tan face and burning dark eyes. Or was he haunted by them? He woke up happy actually, feeling that he’d been blessed with beautiful visions.