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(Night/early morning after Rumors.)
"C'mon, get to bed, baby." Oscar placed his hands on his wife's waist.
"Nuh-uh. There is no way you're getting me back in that bed." Trudy turned her head to face the man, huffing.
Oscar sighed softly. "What's the matter?" He held his hands up. They hadn't even been home an hour, and Trudy was already upset?
"What's the matter? Really?!" Trudy pulled herself away, facing him. "You complain nonstop this morning, embarrass me at my award ceremony, then have the audacity to ask for favors?! I'm done with you, Oscar!"
The man held back a bite of anger, his tone changing to concern. "You know I'm just playing with you, I-"
"Yes you are! I'm sick of it. I don't want played with, I want a man that will actually care about me! You didn't care one lick about my award, all you wanted was to sell your stupid snacks!" Trudy threw her purse at him. She took a moment to breathe, then stepped closer. "Oscar Proud, you listen to me."
He had no choice but to obey. The last thing he'd ever want was to lose his wife.
"Either you start packing your bags, or you do what I ask tonight. No fighting, no bitching, no excuses." The woman spat each word, years of hatred seeping from her teeth.
"What are you gonna ask..?" Oscar tried to back away, but the firm grip on his tie kept him in place.
"You'll find out if that's what you choose." Trudy tilted her head as she spoke, then looked down. "You refuse a conversation, you refuse therapy, this is the last thing I have left to try." She held back tears, taking a deep breath and hoping Oscar would just listen for once.
Oscar gulped. A thousand questions and remarks ran through his head, but he chose the one that would let him keep his neck intact. "I-I'll do what you want."
"Good." Trudy eased her grip, then picked her purse back up off the floor. "Go make sure the house is set for the night. I'll have you for about an hour or hour and a half."
---
Oscar returned to the bedroom, flicking the lock on the door just in case.
"Get in bed, honey!" Trudy's tone was mocking, but she still yanked on his coat. Once Oscar had taken a few steps from the door, she unbuttoned it fully and tore it off. "I don't want to hear a word from you unless I ask you a question. If you fight back, if you hurt me, you're never seeing the inside of this house again." She began unbuttoning his undershirt. "If words can't get it through to you, then actions will."
The man nodded, his palms slick with sweat and his mind spinning with confusion. He finally noticed the (physical) change in Trudy when she stepped back to drag him to the bed...
Trudy threw her husband down on his back, then pushed open his legs. "I always try to tell Penny and you: "conversation, not confrontation" but apparently you're too set in your ways to get it."
Oscar instinctively resisted. "N-now hold on- I'm not gonna lose anything-! Right?" He chuckled anxiously.
"You'll keep your balls." Trudy huffed. "That reminds me-" She stepped back, ripping open the drawer on her nightstand and pulling out a notebook.
"What's that?"
"If you'd be patient-" Trudy threw it down beside Oscar. "Every single word of that, I want you to read, tomorrow." She squeezed the blanket tightly to stop her hands from shaking.
She'd never been more terrified in her life. Years of mistreatment sat in that notebook, and she finally took her opportunity to shove it in his face. She didn't fear a divorce, hell, she wanted it half the time; she feared their children. Anxiety boiled in her stomach at the thought, but she pushed it back with a thick swallow. She wasn't going to chicken out again.
The man reached for it, but got his wrist grabbed. He didn't have the courage to look Trudy in the eyes. Or face. She was stronger than he could ever hope to be, and they both knew it. His eyes drifted from the book beside his head, down her dress and to her hips. "Yes ma'am. A-and why does it look like you've got a bulge?"
---
"How do you feel laying on your belly?" Trudy leaned over Oscar, holding his hands behind his back.
"Trudy-" Her husband exhaled shakily, before going quiet for another minute.
Trudy sighed into his ear. "Tell me how you feel. Is it scared? You don't know what I'll do? Do you feel treated like an object? Like your face doesn't matter to me?"
Oscar let the words and feelings settle, eventually nodding. "I'm scared."
Trudy let go with one hand to shove down his pants and underwear, then reached down to lift her dress.
The strap-on hit Oscar's thigh, and he recognized the cold silicone immediately. "Trudy, baby, I'm sorry." He kept himself still through his anxiety. "C-can I have a third option? Apologize? Get that couples' therapy?"
Trudy smiled, spitting on the dark silicone. "Fifteen years. You've had fifteen years to have a conversation with me, and you refused at every turn." She shook her head, leaning back down. "Either you lay there and take it and listen to me, or you leave."
Oscar watched his vision blur, then steeled himself. He pushed his hands up out of his wife's grasp and flipped around.
"I'm not letting you do that!" Oscar felt his arm twitch, but kept himself sane. A single finger on her would mean a single sheet of cardboard covering him tomorrow night. "You can't do that to a man!"
"Then why can you do it to a woman?!" Trudy pressed her weight on his shoulders, her knee raising to stabilize herself between his legs. "You read everything I've wrote and you'll realize how many nights I didn't want it!"
Oscar felt his muscles ease, his eyebrows raising. "H-honey-"
"Shut your mouth!" Trudy shook him, her throat stinging from the volume. Let the whole neighborhood know for all she cared. "No words will get through to you! I've tried and tried and tried and tried and tried and tried-! I don't know how to get it through your thick skull any other way!"
The man felt his throat tighten, his heart pounding against his chest. He wanted to stand up, to prove his masculinity, to protect himself, but he was honestly scared. Hot tears ran down his face as he stared up at his wife.
"Even doing this, you won't know the housework. You won't know the pain of childbirth. You won't know how it feels to be disregarded and pushed to the side because "the game's on tonight!""She waved her head as she used a mocking tone.
Oscar pulled his arms up behind himself, sitting up. "Baby, I'm sorry-"
"I don't want an apology." Trudy shoved him back down, huffing. "I want you to know, even if it's just for thirty minutes, the pain you put me through. I want you to spend days reading every word I've written in this damn book, and I want you to imagine how it feels." She grabbed the notebook, poking the corner into his chest with every word. "Do you want me to read your own words back to you? How you promised we'd be equal in our marriage, then 6 years later suffocating me in the pillows while I'm dry as a bone saying: it's just one round, Trudy! You'll warm up, Trudy! Go get me a glass of water, Trudy!"
Oscar inhaled through his teeth, his instinct to fight back coming first. "I didn't-" He stopped himself, feeling his masculine armor fall off to reveal the sensitive flesh beneath. He stayed quiet, looking down as Trudy flipped through the pages of hand-written words.
She teared up at the memories. "Let me remind you-" She flipped back to the beginning. "I promise, Trudy, if I ever treat you wrong, you have every right to get me back." She read.
Oscar sighed, looking away but having his head slapped back.
"Oscar Proud. I'm going to do to you what you did to me on August 17th."
The man fully relaxed into the bed. "I-I-I-"
"You, you, you." Trudy huffed, then held the notebook up. "Read it out loud."
-
Aug. 17
I ended my period last week, but I woke up bleeding. It hurts to sit or stand. I hate writing it down, it feels gross. I don't want to, but I have to get it out.
Oscar started grabbing me last night, and either ignored or didn't get the hint. I can't tell with him anymore. He woke me up yelling at Penny for something, then all dinner he just complained about his stupid snack sales. We got in bed and he was grabbing my chest, then stripped me. I didn't say anything, but I thought pushing him off would work. The way he smiled makes me dizzy to remember, like this out-of-body hazy feeling. I feel sick.
He didn't use lube or anything, and when I tried yelling at him he shoved my face down. I just gave up and tried to breathe when I could. It hurts me to remember. My body hurts and I feel gross. I keep thinking I'll divorce him, but I don't know when. Is that even enough for a divorce? He hasn't done it that bad before, and the other day he talked to me kinda genuinely that he loved me.
I showered and still feel gross, like I'm really sweaty but my skin is dry. There was a little more blood, but the hot water helped. He's yelling for me again.
-
---
"Daddy?" Penny tilted her head at a lamp still on in the living room as she slid quietly off the last step.
Oscar turned around, keeping his page with his thumb as he closed the book. "Why are you up this late, babygirl?"
Penny shrugged. "You and mama finally quit yelling, and I was thirsty." She stepped up behind the couch, folding her arms over the back. "What's that?"
Oscar shook his head. "Go get something to drink, and I'll take you back to bed." He creased the corner, then set the book on the coffee table.
"I'm not a little kid anymore." Penny huffed. "What's wrong with you and mama?" She felt her face heat up, but did her best to hold back any tears.
"Nothing, babygirl. I know you're not a kid, but you're not old enough to handle grown-up problems yet. Just- Just know we'll work it out." Oscar leaned back into the couch, letting a defeated sigh escape his lungs.
Penny nodded, then slinked back to the kitchen.
Oscar took a moment, then slowly stood. His legs shook and his ears rang for a moment. "Penny?" He leaned on the wall, looking into the kitchen.
The girl looked back, the fridge illuminating the room as she poured her orange juice.
"When you're done with that.. can I have a hug?"
Penny nodded softly. She couldn't remember the last time he had asked her for a hug. "One minute." She screwed the lid back on, then slid the jug back into the fridge. She moved her glass to the other corner of the table, then held out her arms.
Oscar crouched down, squeezing his daughter. "I'm sorry for that time I yelled at you for breaking a plate." His voice shook with guilt.
Penny blinked, a bit confused. "When was that?" She genuinely couldn't recall, pulling away a bit to look at her father.
"A year and a few months ago, I think." Oscar shook his head, sniffling. "I-I just remembered it. It made you cry, and mama had to come comfort you?" He met her eyes in the darkness, hoping to jog her memory.
Penny shook her head. "I don't know. I forgive you, though." She turned the motion into a nod, a smile growing but quickly shifting to worry. "You're not about to do something crazy, are you?"
"No, no." Oscar chuckled, wiping his eyes. "I just want to say I'm sorry. I want to do my best to be a better dad."
Penny's expression changed again, and she pulled her dad back into a hug. "I hope you and mama get through whatever it is. I'm not complaining about the apology, I- it- it just feels weird... seeing you cry."
The man let out another weak laugh. "We'll be alright, babygirl. Get back to bed, you've got school." He pat her shoulder and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
Penny said goodnight, then made her way back upstairs with her orange juice. She didn't like snooping around her parents' room, but she felt it right to stop at their door. The muffled cries made her feel weird... bad weird. She knocked gently, hoping h-
"I don't want to see you! You're suffocating!"
Penny flinched at the new tone. Never in her life had she heard her mama sound like that. "It's Penny!" She called back, her hand on the doorknob.
"If you open that door, you're grounded! Get to bed!" Trudy panicked at the scenario, shuffling the blankets around to hide herself and the items she still hadn't put away.
"Goodnight, I'm sorry." Penny stepped away, waiting a moment and not hearing anything back. She just sighed and went back to her room.
---
Trudy sat on the floor between her twins' cribs. She watched the leaves rustle against each other outside. Her mind flicked between a manic anxiety and a sinking depression. Guilt covered her in a thick sheet, the memories of hurting her husband swimming and forming a whirlpool of hatred. She hated herself. What kind of wife was she? She was disgusting, abusive, manipulative... Tears fell onto her knees. Oscar probably didn't mean half the things he'd ever said to her. Surely the ra... no... it wasn't a fucking accident!
She struggled keeping herself quiet, shooting to her feet and screwing her eyes shut. How the fuck could she be so stupid?! She was an idiot not to divorce him, she was an idiot for ever thinking he'd change. She wouldn't be stuck with this abusive asshole any-!
With her hand on the doorknob, she paused. What if he was changing? What if it was a... good.. thing..? No, fuck- fuckfuckfuck- how would pegging her husband be a good thing?! She nearly fell to her knees, guilt tearing into her chest. She should apologize, oh god she was a horrible person-
-
Oscar sat silently, each word painting a vivid picture and uncovering memories.
I told him we were going on a date, but he said he already had plans with Felix. $150 down the drain. I just canceled the reservation. I know he'll bitch about me spending it, but it's his fault. If I have to hear one more "my money" I'm gonna snap his neck.
It's probably stupid to even write it down, but he shoved me into the wall today. My shoulder hit the very corner and it's still sore. I feel bad, but like it was my fault. He said he had a bad day, I don't know whether to blame him for shoving me or not.
I saw him staring at the worker behind the checkout counter. I don't know if he knew I saw him, I'm just glad I got his ass out of there before he did something stupid. Why is he even with me if all he does is look at other women? I don't get it.
A surge of guilt washed over the man. Every faint memory was painted back in saturated hues, new colors showing him things he'd missed. He felt his belly twist, and didn't even have to stop himself from calling for Trudy. He creased the page and slowly stood. Pain surged through him again, along with a blade of frustration. Why the hell would she fight fire with fire? The hell was wrong with that woman..? His mind flicked back to what he'd just read, staring at the red cover and frowning.
She finally got through to him. This was exactly how she was feeling.
---
"Is Suga Mama coming over?" Penny finally broke the silence.
"Not for a while, dear." Trudy set the plate of food in front of her daughter. "If it makes you feel better, you can go and eat in your room. You don't have to stay here." She put a hand on her hair, gently petting it.
Penny shook her head. "I'm okay for now. Unless you want me to go..?"
Trudy sat down as well, picking up her fork. "You're alright. We won't argue or anything with you here, I just want you to be comfortable."
"Did you make dinner..?" Oscar poked his head around the wall.
Trudy nodded, lowering her eyes back to her plate. "I'll get your-"
"I'll get it myself." Oscar gestured for her to stay seated. "On March 6th, I called you a bitch because you didn't have dinner made. I'm sorry."
Trudy just closed her eyes as her shoulder was grabbed. Part of her screamed that he was lying, being manipulative, faking sympathy, and the other wanted to break down in his arms and apologize and go back to the way life was.
Even BeBe and CeCe had gone quiet.
"I'm sorry." Oscar repeated, before turning to get his own plate of food.
Penny pushed her chicken around sadly, then looked up. "Could you get BeBe and CeCe some mashed potatoes?"
Oscar nodded, bringing the bowl over and smiling at the twins. "You've got two teeth now, that's more than enough for chicken, too." He picked CeCe up from her highchair.
"Put my babies down." Trudy clenched her fork tightly. "I can do it myself."
Oscar did as he was asked, just giving them each a kiss before returning to grab his plate. "Mind if I eat in the living room?"
Trudy shook her head. "Whatever you want." The words were spat more out of frustration than understanding.
---
"Are you and daddy gonna be okay?" Penny held her mother's hand, worry clear on her face.
"We'll be fine." Trudy nodded, attempting to stand but being pulled back down.
"Be honest! I understand I can't know everything, but at least tell me more than that. I'm scared." Penny kicked her blanket off of herself, sitting up.
Trudy sat on the bed, holding Penny's hand. "I don't know where to start..." She looked at her feet, trying to find a good way to explain anything.
"I gave your dad..." She stopped herself. "He-... I-I finally just.. I yelled at him." She looked over to her daughter.
Penny waited for her to continue, keeping their eyes locked together.
"I yelled about everything he'd done, every time he... y'know how he is." Trudy finally broke the eye contact, but kept her eyes on the carpet. "I told him to get his shit together or leave." She laughed weakly, before her eyes widened. "Don't say that word-" She placed both hands on Penny's.
"I know, mama." The girl assured her. "I used to feel weird around dad sometimes, too. He'd just ignore you or say something stupid all the time." She tried her best to understand.
"I-I'm sure he's trying his best to think about how he's acted. Think of it like time-out." Trudy chuckled, a smile growing on her face. "You always said time-out was useless, now your daddy's in time-out for as long as it takes him to realize how mean he's been.
A smile flickered across Penny's face. "He apologized at dinner. Is he gonna have to apologize for every single time he did something wrong?"
Trudy shook her head. "I told him I didn't want an apology." She turned to face her daughter fully. "If I'm in a bad mood, and come home and yell at you for something, would you feel better if I just said sorry?"
Penny thought for a moment. "Kinda.. but with you and daddy it was a lot more. And I don't remember ever seeing him apologize to you or even... say he was- like- like say that he yelled or say he made a mistake."
Trudy nodded. "I'll feel better when he starts acting better." She let a couple tears fall. "Saying sorry is just a small part of it. I need to say sorry to him, too." She admitted.
Penny ran her fingers over her mom's wedding ring. "Like if you yelled at me, then I came back and yelled at you. That don't make it right."
"Exactly, baby. Your daddy and I are gonna be alright." The woman wiped her eyes, then leaned down to hug Penny. "Don't lose any sleep over it. You have that science test tomorrow, you better get rested."
Penny nodded. "I know. I love you, mama. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, dear." Trudy gave her daughter a gentle kiss before standing and leaving her room. She decided to run with her impulse, making her way down the hall and then the stairs. "Honey-"
Oscar turned around again, his head following his wife as she came to sit beside him.
"I'm sorry." Trudy stared into her husband's eyes for the first time in over 48 hours. "I'm so sorry."
The man opened his arms when he saw the glisten of tears in her eyes. "For what, baby?"
"Hurting you-" Trudy choked out the words, letting out a sob. She felt a horrid mix of empowerment and shame as she cried into his shoulder.
Oscar held his love. "Shh, shhh. Baby, listen." He pulled back to hold her cheeks. "There aren't any words that can replace that feeling." He shook his head. "You... I- I understand. Trudy, honey, I'm so sorry."
"Don't apologize-" Trudy looked down, guilt flooding her mind.
"Then you don't, either." Oscar pulled her head back up. "Is a promise better?" He offered.
Trudy let out another cry, just being pulled back into his arms tightly.
Her mind swam with worry, she felt like she was drowning. She feared pouring her heart out for nothing. More choked sobs ripped through her throat with every flicker of anxiety. What if he was just lying? Going to pretend to change for a week, then go back? What if he was getting some sick kick out of seeing her like this?
Oscar held his love tightly, petting her hair. "I promise you I'll never hurt you again." He closed his eyes. "I promise, I swear on everything I own. Trudy, I will never hurt you like that again."
Trudy's crying kept the same pace. Waves of comfort and validation threatened to soothe her, but the rocks on the shore tore at least one hole in them every time.
"If I could take back time, I'd redo these last 15 years over and over and over until I got them perfect." Oscar rubbed her back, grinning when her breathing slowed a bit. He chose right then to meet her eyes again. "Trudy. Trudy, listen."
The woman pushed back her worries, looking up and meeting the eyes she fell in love with two decades ago.
"I'm so happy you did what you did." Oscar gently wiped her cheeks with his thumbs. "Never, ever would I have changed if you didn't do that. You put me in a new type of pain I've never felt before."
Trudy tried to pull away, but for once was thankful she was held in place.
"I can't ever be the same man." Oscar promised. "I want you to know that."
Trudy nodded, finally closing her eyes and lowering her head.
"For as long as we live, I will never hurt you again. In any way." The man dropped one hand, feeling her wedding ring. "I love you, Trudy Parker."
She raised her head again, her eyebrows knit together at the name.
"I love you, I want to be with you forever."
Trudy could only let out another cry. She fully collapsed over her husband, her head resting on his chest.
Penny held her knees tightly to her chest, a fuzzy feeling blooming. After a few more minutes, it seemed they were done talking, so she snuck her way back down to her room.