Work Text:
Duang sat on the barstool next to Qin, filling out both of their food orders for Qins favorite ramen place. He filled them out without skipping a beat. Knowing Qins food preferences like the back of his own hand. After all, food was one of Qins favorite things, so the least Duang could do was know his order. It was also one of the first thing he started to learn about Qin, and something about that really made him giggly inside.
There was a special kind of feeling, when you realize, you know the person that truly has all your heart in a way maybe no one else knows them.
There was something else weighting on Duangs mind though. He tried his best not to think about it. The guy who Qin met a few days ago. His childhood friend, or so to say, his childhood lover maybe? Duang knew that Qin reassured him a bit after they had met him that day at Qins old high school.
But Duang was still uneasy. His usual positive and carefree demeanor had changed and even Jamie and Pae had noticed. Duang thought he would be fine, especially after the talk they had had, but the pink teddy bear remained in Qins room. Regardless. And he didn’t have the courage or the right to ask why.
“Would you like anything else, ter?”, Duang asked Qin who was watching him closely.
“You remember I don’t like green onions?”, Qin asked him back, maybe with a hint of surprise. But Qin wasn’t really surprised. Duang remembered everything about Qin, Qin had noticed that. And he liked it. He liked it a lot. It was a warm feeling, he was unsure how to pinpoint. Or maybe he knew exactly what it meant but didn’t wat to admit it yet. Especially not to the person who was beaming at him.
While Duang rang in their orders for their ramen he asked Qin about the upcoming Jazz Showcase. Qin slowly tensed. Tong and Kim hadn’t stopped asking him to be in their group and it didn’t seem like he had a choice. But there was a lot of doubt still nagging on his mind.
“My friends want me to be the main vocalist, but I don’t want to”, he said quietly. And as he expected there was instant reassurance from Duang. But he didn’t want the reassurance. He wanted to not feel like he did when all the voices crashed onto him on stage. He really fucked up then, if it hadn’t been for Duang, they would’ve really embarrassed themselves, because of Qin. Just thinking back to hit made his heart clench a bit.
The faces of the uninterested people in the crowd, the voice in his head telling him he wasn’t good, the constant fear that everyone hated it. Duang was a heaven-sent guiding hand back then. He didn’t want to do it without Duang. He felt comfortable next to him.
Duang watched him intently and tried to decipher Qins thoughts. Since Qin rarely ever spoke up about his feelings, or anything in general, Duang was left guessing most of the time. Which wasn’t bad at all, since Qin was an open book for him. He almost always guessed correctly, even if Qin wouldn’t ever admit it.
“You don’t want to do it, because I’m not there with you?”, Duang looked surprised and a bit worried. Qin didn’t answer. He would rather die than admit it. But Duang was entirely right.
When he was standing next to Duang, everyone else disappeared. He wouldn’t have to think about the many people in the audience, and even worse. The professors. He wouldn’t have Duang at the Jazz showcase, and he knew that the stage would feel a thousand percent scarier just because of that.
Duangs worried expression shortly lifted into a wide grin, which reminded Qin of a cute puppy. But it didn’t last long. Duangs worry etched onto his face once again.
“What about this.”, he proposed and fully turned to look at Qin, giving him his whole attention. “I’ll be there wherever you are. Just tell me, and I’ll be there”
Qins heart lifted a bit, but he would never show it. He knew that Duang would be there for him every time he asked him too.
“Do you think I sound emotionless when I sing?”, he looked at Duang when asking.
Duang seemed to think about the question for a bit and even though Qin knew, Duang would never hurt him intentionally, he was scared for the answer.
“Don’t blame me for this… but just seeing you on stage already moves me ter”, he said seriously. And Duang meant it. When he saw Qin at the Freshman night, he couldn’t entirely describe the feeling, but he had goosebumps everywhere, he felt like crying, like there was a lump in his throat filled with excitement and most importantly he suddenly couldn’t see or hear anything other than Qin. And he knew back then and even more now, that it was because of the energy and passion Qin brought with him. He was mesmerized.
Qin felt a bit at ease hearing that. But he also knew he was asking a person who was in love with him and therefor maybe a little biased.
“But I don’t know if I can give you an unbiased opinion ter”, Duang added. And Qin knew that. But just hearing Duang, who he felt so much towards, say it, somehow made his worries a little bit better.
“I want you to do it, because you trust yourself and you know, that you’re good at it ter. I know you can do it. You can put all your worries and fears onto me. Let me deal with them and you just be yourself. I know you can do it.”, Duang added and somehow that made it even better. It felt like he had nothing to worry about anymore. He doesn’t know how Duang could always be so positive. But it was rubbing off a lot. Suddenly his worries seemed small and capable of overcoming.
“And I’ll be there for you the entire time. Watching you, first row. Right where I fell in love with you”, Duang smiled at him and Qin found it hard to control the warmth in his chest that spread from Duangs words. He used to think words didn’t mean a lot.
Words don’t have meaning if you don’t put them into action, but Duangs words. They were special, because Qin knew, behind every word from him, there was nothing but emotions, honesty and pure intent. And that was so damn attractive.
While Duang was still smiling, his phone rang.
“Give me a second, Jamie is calling me”. Duang said to Qin, who just nodded.
“Hello, what do you want?”, Duang asked hurriedly. “Oi, Assat, how are you talking to your friend, huh?”, Jamie told him off. “Whatever why are you calling me?”, he asked.
“Do you want to go out tonight? Me and Pare are heading to Phi Xs bar later”
Duang removed his phone from the ear and turned to Qin who was looking at the brochure in front of him. “Jamie and Pae want to go out tonight”, Duang told Qin.
“You can go if you want”, Qin answered him, he felt a bit sad, they wouldn’t spent the evening together, but he also knew Duang was not his alone only. Although if he asked, he knew Duang would stay with him. But he wouldn’t dare.
“Want to go together?”, Duang tilted his head a bit to the side, while looking at him.
Qin gave him a quick nod, while Jamies voice already sounded so loud through Duangs phone, that even Qin could hear it.
“Khun Qinnnnnn, is he coming too? Oh, please bring him Duang, I haven’t seen him in forever, I miss Khun Qin”
Duang looked irritated and annoyed at his phone. “Jamie, if you don’t calm down, I’m staying home with Qin”
Qin had to hold in a small smile at their banter.
-------
Duang and Qin entered the bar and walked towards where Jamie and Pae were sitting. Jamie and Pae greeted Qin with a polite wai.
“Oi, do I not get a hello?”, Duang sat down in front of his friends. Pae reached over and softly brushed his arms who rested on the table. “Oh, Oh. Hello Duang kha. Have you missed me?”
Duang retraced his arms quickly and rolled his eyes. Jamie suddenly turned to Qin.
“Qin jaaa, I haven’t seen you in forever, you came just for me, didn’t you? I love you so ….”, he tried to touch Qin across the table but was brutally slapped away by Duang.
“Oi, do you know whose man this is?”, Duang hit Jamie playfully. “he’s my man alone”, he tried to stay serious but smiled widely.
They ordered food and drinks and talked for a while, when suddenly two people approached their table.
“Oh, Qin, you didn’t tell us you would come here tonight?”, the person said. Pae immediately shoved Jamie to scoot over so Tong and Kim could sit down. Kim sat down beside Duang, while Tong sat down next to Pae who suddenly seemed a bit happier.
“I didn’t know you would come here”, Qin said while eating a few fries.
Jamie opened his arms:” Well this is nice, a big friend group, isn’t it Pae?”, he said while turning to his friend who looked a bit confused. “...Yeah, yeah sure”
They talked a bit about some of their university stuff and soon the jazz showcase came up.
“Uh Duang, we are currently trying to get Qin to become our main vocalist, he is the only one good enough to do it. Help us a bit, will you?”, Tong said to him.
Duang took a quick glance at Qin who sighed a bit. “Alright, alright I’ll do it.”, Qin said quickly. Tong and Pae looked a bit shocked. “For real?”, Kim asked excitedly.
“Duang convinced me”, Qin said even quieter and a bit shy. It earned him a fair share of reactions at their table though. Tong grabbed Paes shoulders and shook him a bit in excitement. Pae who didn’t know what was happening was so surprised he screamed a little. Jamie gave Duang a massive high five, which Duang only slapped reluctantly. Kim covered his face shyly.
Qin was sitting close to Duang, although the bench they were sitting on offered a lot more room. Duang didn’t mind, he was glad Qin was sitting close enough for their legs and arms to touch. But it is also why Duang felt Qin stiffen and tense up immediately. He thought it was because he was shy. To be fair, so was Duang. He didn’t think Qin would say something even close to what he did. But he realized quickly it was because of a new group, that came into the bar.
Qins high school friends had entered the bar. Among them was Tiw, the man who gave Qin the pink teddy bear.
Qin looked down onto the table when they made their way over.
“Qinnnn, what are you doing here. Come say hi really quick, some of us haven’t seen you in a long time, you left so quickly last time.”, Cho said and already pulled Qin up.
Qin felt annoyed but also didn’t know what to do. Other than Tiw these were his friends. He couldn’t just not say hi to them. Right?
The others at the table looked at the two men a bit confused. Duang guessed that Tong and Kim probably didn’t know who they were, since they didn’t go to the same High school as Qin. Jamie and Pae observed quietly. They of course knew who Cho was.
“Oi, give me my 319 baht, Assat”, Jamie pointed at Cho.
Cho quickly turned to the group:” Let me borrow Qin for a minute, yeah?”, he said while already pushing Qin towards their table. “I’ll be back in a second”, Qin said to Duang while being pushed away.
It all happened so fast, Duang didn’t know what to do. He looked at Jamie and Pae, who looked just as confused. “He is borrowing Qin, like your 319 baht. He better give both back, man”, Pae said to Jamie in a joke. But Duang didn’t find it funny at all.
They all seemed to forget that Tiw was still standing there. “You can have the 319 baht back”, he said to Jamie and handed him a few bills he pulled out of his pocket and counted. He turned to Duang.
“But I’m not giving Qin back. I’m here to win him back”, he said with a smug grin on his face.
Pae looked at him stunned.
“Oi you asshole”, Jamie stood up so fast that Pae and Tong almost had whiplash.
[N: listened to this song while writing, couldn’t pass the opportunity, sorry]
“Who the fuck are you?”, Tong also added in a pissed voice. While Duang tried to hold Jamie back from the other side of the table.
Tiw sent a wink into Duangs direction and left their table.
Jamie sat back down, but not after raising his fist quickly.
Tong and Kim looked concerned at the rest of the group. “He is an asshole”, Jamie spat and pushed the 350 baht on the table away from him. He didn’t want that guys money.
“Who was that, anyway?”, Kim asked while looking confused and pushing his glasses upwards.
“He’s the one who gave Qin the pink teddy bear”, Pae said.
“What teddy bear?”, Tong asked confused and Jamie and Pae looked at him confused.
Duang wasn’t looking at anything other than Qin, who sat opposite of Tiw at their friend’s table. He couldn’t take his eyes off him. They were talking, Qin wasn’t though. He looked tense, his arms were crossed and he didn’t look at Tiw at all. Duang didn’t know what exactly their deal was. But he didn’t feel fine at all.
“… the pink teddy bear in Qins room? Have you never seen it?”, Pae asked Qins friends.
“Seriously what kind of friends are you?”, Jamie said jokingly.
“We haven’t been to Qins room, he doesn’t let anyone in there”, Kim just said shoulders shrugging slightly. Jamie and Pae were speechless.
While they explained the teddy bear situation to Tong and Kim, Duang didn’t listen to them at all. His ear seemed closed off, he only heard muffled sounds, and his eyes were focused on Qins friends’ table. Chos had two smart watches in hand and started explaining a game. It was loud enough that Duang suddenly understand what they were saying. While the bar was packed, their table was close enough for Duang to hear what they were talking about.
Tong, Kim, Jamie and Pae also turned around and looked at the other table now.
Qin and Tiw were playing the game and Duang felt like all the power and energy in his body was gone. Qin seemed relaxed, but Duang. Duang didn’t feel fine at all.
“Shia”, Jamie said quietly observing the table. The boys looked concerned at Duang.
Duang couldn’t take his eyes off the scene in front of him. He knew that this wasn’t good. This is probably going to hurt. But he trusted Qin. Who knows what the other guy would pull though. He felt like he was slowly watching a car wreck unfold. He couldn’t look away although he knew he probably should.
“You didn’t accept my love, because you have commitment issues, right?”, Tiw started off cocky.
Duang couldn’t look away, not even for a spilt second. Commitment issues, is that why after all this time Qin and him were still only talking? Was Qin scared of committing to someone? Duangs brain worked overtime by now. Qin looked focused but also a bit bored.
“You told everyone I was hard to love, because you were embarrassed I didn’t like you back, right?”, Qin asked and the boys at the table made some noises.
Hard to love? Qin? Absolutely not, Duang thought. Qin was easy to love. How wasn’t everyone on this planet in love with Qin? His passion towards music was alluring, entrancing even. His talent, out of this world. His soft features that made him the right mix of handsome, cute and sexy. Triple kill.
But Duang knew what he meant. And he felt bad, that he knew it. Qin barely ever showed any kind of reaction to attempts of flirting, getting closer or even conversation. But Duang also knew, that if he tried hard enough and didn’t give up qin always came around. Which is also why Qin was the one to kiss him first. And it also made the kiss mean so much more. It was special, because Qin was special.
And he hated Tiw because he was there to take it away from him, but even more because he knew Tiw couldn’t appreciate Qin the way he was supposed to be appreciated. Tiw didn’t deserve Qin. Duang thought he didn’t either, but at least he appreciated every single cell on Qins body. His love didn’t only mean that he liked Qin, he respected Qin as a person, as an artist and as a growing person with faults. It didn’t only mean to like him, but to receive comfort and joy from Qins happiness, achievements and his presence. It also meant to want to know about every detail of Qin. His life, his thoughts, opinions and preferences. To understand a person so deeply, like he wanted to know Qin.
To be there for him when he didn’t feel like he could be loved or appreciated. And to show him, that even in his worst thoughts and feelings he was still worth being, loved, appreciated and respected. Because for Duang it was more than love.
At the other table, Qins friends erupted in a loud chaos, probably meaning that Tiws heart rate went up and Qins question got to him.
Qin gave the tiniest smug smile from him but now it was Tiws turn.
“The pink teddy bear….”, he started slowly. And while Duang couldn’t see his face, Qin could. And Tiw was grinning widely.
Duangs heart felt like it just fell into a deep hole.
“…you’re still holding on to it, right?”
There it was, the car crash Duang has been waiting for. And it felt like it too. It hurt something in him. And he looked away, for the first time he looked away. Because he couldn’t bear it. Kim, who said next to him, slowly and awkwardly laid an arm around his shoulders in an attempt to comfort Duang. Their whole table was dead silent, listening to the other table. Jamie and Pae looked at Duang worriedly.
“This isn’t pretty at all. We should do something”, Pae whispered to Jamie, who for once wasn’t amused at all. They looked back to the other table, Qin was sitting at, when the table was getting loud in screams and exited yells. And they were met with Qins eyes who looked towards them. At Duang, who was still looking down onto the table, trying to keep his feelings and thoughts together.
Qin stood up, but Cho pressed him back down in his seat. “We aren’t done yet, Qin. You’re only at 85”
Duang didn’t dare to look at them anymore. He looked at the crevices on the wooden table. Why, why did Qin keep that damn teddy bear. Why?
“I don’t think, the teddy means anything to Qin, Duang”, Tong tried to explain. Kim nodded in agreement. “Why is it still in his apartment then?”, Pae said and immediately got hit by Jamie and Tong.
“Shia, will you be quiet. Read the room Assat”, Jamie whisper shouted at him.
“No for real, Duang. The teddy doesn’t mean anything. You’re the one in Qins room every night. He kissed you, didn’t he?”, Jamie said trying to coax Duang who slowly looked up at Jamie.
Tong and Kim sent each other a quick glance, about the information Qin would never ever disclose towards them.
“Man, we gotta hang out with you more, you know more about Qin than us”, Tong said.
Qins voice sounded from the other table, he wasn’t looking at Duang anymore but had a pissed and fierce look in his eyes when he asked Tiw his next question.
“You came back now, because I’m talking to someone else and it would be a shame to loose me, right?”, Qin said in a tone, that Duang hoped he would never get to hear. It was cold, angry.
Tiw laughed. Duang felt close to dying but raised his head a bit more to look at Qin.
“You’re asking that, because you’re still in love with me…”, Tiw said towards Qin and then turned around to look at Duang. And he looked straight into his eyes.
“…and you want to get back together, right?”, Tiw continued while giving Duang a smug smile and turn back around to face Qin. But Qin was only looking at Duang.
“Oh, Oh, ohhhh…. Qins at 110”, Cho sprung from his chair. Duang felt his heart ache. Did that really mean, Qin would go back to Tiw? He looked at Qin who was also looking at him. And for the first time Duang couldn’t decipher the thoughts behind Qins eyes. It made it even worse. Did he know Qin at all? Or was he so caught up in his own thoughts that every time he felt Qin give him an inch, he made it out to be much greater than it was? Could he trust his own perception of Qin and their current relationship towards each other? Or was he biased, taking every single drop, thinking he was given a splash? When in reality he was dying of thirst and not realizing it?
What made it worse, is that Qin didn’t say anything. Why isn’t he saying anything?
But Qin stood up and walked towards Duang. He was stopped, by Tiw. Duang also stood up.
He had two rules for himself when trying to win Qins heart.
1. He would stop if Qin asked him to
And
2. He would stop if Qin wanted to get back with the person who gave him the teddy
Qin and Tiw were talking loudly, but Duang couldn’t hear them over his own thoughts.
He really was just a Loverboy, who would hurt badly, just like Jamie and Pae said. He watched Qin give him a glance and leave the bar; Tiw followed him.
Duang slowly fell back into his seat. “Go after him, what are you doing?”, Jamie said urging Duang. Duang felt like Jamie was probably right, but he didn’t want to hurt more, by hearing or seeing things, that would be even worse.
Just the thought of them outside hurt him.
“Who are you? Duang, what is wrong with you?”, Jamie said, pushing Duang. Duang looked at him surprised.
“I don’t know who this is. But this isn’t Duang. Get your ass up”, Jamie said to him, still pushing his chest.
Tong and Kim looked at them surprised.
“Duang. Go get your man. When Jamie touches him, you’re just as possessive. Go after him”, Pae chimed in. Duang stood.
“Scream if you need help”, Pae screamed after him while Duang was already making his way towards the corridor.
He saw Qin and Tow standing behind a metal curtain.
“How long do you want to make me wait, Qin?”, Tiws voice stretched along the corridor.
“No one can give you a hundred percent the whole time. You didn’t acknowledge anything I did for you”, he continued.
“If you don’t love me anymore, tell me. Why did you go and find someone new?”, Qin said.
Duang stopped walking towards them.
“But I’m okay now. I’m good on my own. Without you”, he heard Qin say.
On his own. That’s right. Qin and Duang weren’t a thing. Qin was good on his own.
He was good on his own. He didn’t need Duang. He was good on his own.
On his own.
And Duang also was on his own.
“Is it too late to fix it Qin? I didn’t realize it until I dated someone else.”, Tiw spoke.
Every word they spoke felt like a knife wound. And Duang couldn’t move an inch. He was only a few meters away from them, but Qin hasn’t spotted him. Tiw had though.
“Be my Boyfriend”, he said to Qin.
Duang felt tears enter his eyes. He wanted to think that he couldn’t believe this. But he knew that in the back of his mind, in the back if his heart he had always felt like Qin might not like him in the same way that Duang liked Qin. Even though they had spoken about it and he knew Qin didn’t see him as a friend.
That somehow made it worse. Because not seeing Duang as a friend doesn’t mean, Qin saw him as a partner.
And realization hit Duang, when a tear rolled down his eye. That he wasn’t anyone in Qins life right now. He didn’t have anything. He wasn’t Qins boyfriend, he didn’t have a place in his heart.
Or at least he felt like it. His thoughts were consuming him. Eating at his thought and eating at his pride, his passion, his positivity. They were eating at his heart.
Qin turned to walk away from Tiw. He was so done with this discussion. He had hoped Duang would come, just like last time and safe him from this conversation. But Duang hadn’t come. And that was in the back of his mind, the whole time he was arguing with Tiw. But Tiw couldn’t be argued with. And he didn’t want to talk to this person a second longer.
So, he turned towards the hallway and halted.
Duang looked straight at him and Tiw and for a split second he was glad, happy that Duang came to him. But the split second of comfort was ripped from him the second he saw the tear and the step Duang took backwards. Qin moved quickly. He made a step towards Duang, but suddenly Tiw held his wrist back. He looked back at Tiw, irritated, annoyed and angry. And that was his mistake.
He heard the rushed steps and look back only to see Duang rush through the corridor and enter the bar again.
He ripped free from Tiw.
“I don’t want to see you again, do you hear me? We were over a long time ago. I have nothing but resentment for you. There is not a single drop of affection towards you. Do you understand?”, Qin hissed at him. Tiw looked taken aback for a second and Qin used that to run after Duang.
He knew Duang only heard part of their argument, and he also knew that it didn’t look too good. He needed to find him quickly. When he entered the bar, he found his and Duangs friends concerned at the table.
“Where is Duang?”, he asked hurriedly. They looked at him. “He just ran out, he looked upset”, Pae said. They looked concerned. Duangs friends but also his.
“Qin…. What happened?”, Kim asked with a worried look and his hand nervously scratching at the back of his neck.
Qin sighed:” I’ll explain later, do you know where he went?” Jamie and Pae looked at each other and shook their heads.
They texted Duang, called him but no answer. Qin rushed his hand over his face in stress and worry and his usual perfect hair now looked wild and ruffled.
“Maybe he just went back home?”, Jamie asked the group. Qin nodded. “Give me his address I’ll drive there”, he said quickly.
“He could be at your place Qin?”, Kim asked.
“Maybe he’s at university”, Pae suggested. “He likes being in the art room in the evening”
Jamie nodded. “Let’s split up. Qin you wait at his place, in case he comes home”, Jamie suggested and they all sprung into action.
Qin took a cap to Duangs condo, Jamie went to the park near their university, while Tong and Pae took on the Art building and Kim went to Qins place.
When Qin arrived at the condo building, he entered through the big glass doors and stood at a reception. He has never been here, but it looked really nice. He remembered that the condo was originally Duangs older brethren’s apartment.
He tried to quickly walk to the elevator, but he was stopped by an arm.
“What are you doing?”, the security guard asked him. Qin looked at him, trying to focus and not think about Duang.
“I’m visiting someone, it’s important”, he said quickly.
“What’s your name? And who are you visiting?”, the security guard answered kind.
While Qin gave him the information he tapped his foot, there was adrenaline running through his body.
“Your name is not on the resident’s visitation list, I’m sorry I cannot let you back up”, the security guard looked at him with a sorry expression.
“But I’m his…”, Qin started quickly but stopped when he realized what he was about to say. “I need to see him”, he just said instead.
The security guard sighed. “I’m really sorry, but I really cannot let you go up without permission…”, he said.
Qin ran a hand over his face but nodded in defeat.
“…I don’t know if this helps…”, the security guard said upon seeing Qins worried face. “But Khun Duang has not returned to his apartment yet”
He wasn’t here. He wasn’t here. At least not yet.
“Can I wait and sit?”, Qin asked while pointing at the chairs. When the security guard nodded, he quickly sat down in the comfortable armchair and pulled out his phone.
He opened a group on Instagram.
Qin_: He’s not at his condo, I’ll wait for him here, in case he comes home
Kim: He isn’t at your place either
tong: not at art building
pae: what about the park? Jamie?
Jamie: I don’t see him
Qin sighed a hand over his face. Where is Duang. His Duang. He didn’t know how much Duang overheard or what was going through his heads at the moment. He just knew he had to make it right. Make it clear that Tiw wasn’t a thread. Not at all. Not for his Duang.
Duang who knew him like no other person knew him, not even his parents. Duang who always chose Qin first in everything, so much that Qin hoped, he would be selfish sometimes too. Duang who let him feel his love so unconditionally.
His small puppy.
Qin sighed again while rubbing his hands over his face. He just hoped Duang would come to either of their homes tonight.
----
Qin woke up startled. A hand on his shoulder.
“You should wake up and go home”, the security guard said worriedly.
“Did he come back?”, Qin asked quickly, taking a look around the lobby of Duangs condo complex.
The security guard shook his head.
Qin slumped back into the armchair and checked the time. 3:48 am. Damn he has been here for over 5 hours already. And Duang still isn’t back. He tried calling him again, but Duang didn’t pick up. No wonder at 3 in the morning.
He had a few unread messages though.
Jamie: I can’t find him here; I might try calling his brother
Pae: He is not in any of the art rooms
Kim: I can wait at your place in case he comes home. I’ll sleep on the couch
Qin looked at his phone and at the security guard again.
“I’ll wait for him”
---
Qin hadn’t slept after he woke up at 3 am. He had hoped Duang would come to his condo, or to his brother’s condo. Anything. He was worried.
He had an early jazz history class, but he didn’t feel like going. Duangs first class would start around lunch time, so there is no use going to the university this early. He slummed in the armchair, that he’d been sitting in since last night. He felt disgusting, sweaty and sticky. But he didn’t really care about it.
The doors opened once again, and like the last few times when the doors opened, Qin sat up straight.
But it wasn’t Duang.
It was Tong, Pae and Kim.
“Is everything okay?”, he immediately asked. His heart rate went higher than last night. Worry etched along the tired lines of his face.
“Qin, have you slept at all?”, Kim asked when the group approached him.
“Where is Duang?”, he asked in return.
“We haven’t been able to reach him yet.”, Tong added quietly.
Qin closed his eyes. He looked absolutely insane.
His friends and Pae looked at him with worry on their face as well. The worry they felt might not compare to what Qin was feeling, but it was still a lot. Qin, who usually looked spanking clean, every hair in its place, looked absolutely shattered. His ruffled hair, his unbuttoned and wrinkled shirt clung to his body. His eyes with dark eyes under them and his face sunken in from obviously lack of sleep.
Qin who usually slept any second, he could get, was absolutely tired and at the end of his energy.
“You need to come to class. Today is mandatory”, Kim said. “I don’t care, I’ll wait here”
Tong and Kim exchanged looks and Pae who stayed quiet until now added: “he is probably fine. Just needed a bit of time to himself.”
Kim and Tong grabbed Qin and pulled him up. “I’m not leaving”, Qin said, which surprised both Tong and Pae. Qin showing this many emotions and being obviously distraught was very new territory for them. Kim was still surprised he got to see the inside of Qins room Soley for the purpose, that they knew if Duang returned.
“Qin, you need to go. You can sleep but you need to be in the class. They are assigning the Jazz Showcase parts. They will notice if you aren’t there”, Kim pleaded.
Qin looked defeated, as much as he wanted to argue. He didn’t have the energy to. So, he let himself be dragged towards the exit and into Kim’s car. He turned to Pae who waited outside not coming with them.
“Call me if you see him”
---
Qin did sleep in the class, but only because there was nothing he could do while being in class. He made Kim and Tong promise to wake him up if there was any message or news.
His nap was not refreshing at all. He didn’t feel rested when he woke up. He felt groggy and he felt like dying when there still wasn’t an update.
Duangs class is starting soon. Would he skip? Or will he be there?
“Let’s go to the art building”, Qin said when their class concluded and he was the first to stand up. They walked towards the art campus. Qin had only been here a couple of times. Maybe once or twice. Duang mostly came to him.
He looked at the clock, 11:52 am. His class started a few moments ago. Tong, Pae and Qin sat down in the café that was right by the campus. He recognized the cups, because they were the cups Duang would bring him almost every day.
Duang was everywhere. Every place he went, he saw Duang in them. In the coffee shop, in the art building, when he looked at his phone hoping to see his name pop up, in the stairs of the music building, where Duang would wait for him. On the bench in the park between the two campuses where they would meet up during class breaks, mostly for Duang to bring him coffee or to pick him up. And mostly in his thoughts. Qin couldn’t get him out of his thoughts, which was not something new. But it bothered him now, now that Duang was everywhere, everywhere but where he wanted him to be.
By his side.
Jamie and Pae sat in their class, they had hoped that Duang would be there when they entered the class, but he wasn’t. And he wasn’t answering his calls. This was an important class too. The professor would announce the final project for the art gallery at the end of semester.
The professor was already talking about the art exhibit and was approaching the topic of announcing the theme, so that everyone could start on their works, when the doors opened. Duang came in, out of breath. On his nose sunglasses. He raised his arms to an apologetic wai and bowed slowly to apologize.
The professor gestured for him to have a seat and he quickly sat down.
Jamie and Pae scooted closer. “Where have you been? We were worried”, Pae whispered. Duang slowly let go of his bag and looked at them. “I went home”
Jamie and Pae didn’t think to check the family house since it was quite far from the university. “What happened, are you okay?”, Jamie asked him shortly.
“I had to drive a friend to her campus first”, Duang said out of breath.
“Is there something you’d like to share Jettana? Should we check another province motto?”, the professor asked and Jamie apologized quickly.
“Your conversation can wait a few minutes, you’re free after the organizational stuff anyways”, the Professor continued for a few minutes until they were released.
Duang, Jamie and Pae exited the class hastily and sat down in the corridor on the floor, when Duang slumped down on the wall.
He started explaining what he had overheard last night and Jamie and Pae listened intently. “I was overthinking, I didn’t think clearly, so I just went home. I had to think about it first. It hurt, it still hurts. I can’t look him in the eye when he tells me he wants to get back with him, that’s why I went home. I needed… needed to prepare myself.”, he burst out, close to tears again.
Jamie and Pae, who were also used to Duang being the most positive thing in the world were listening while Duang rambled on. It was clear he was overthinking.
“… Do you think I’m imagining things? That I think we are closer than we actually are?”, he looked at them for the first time.
“Dude, you’re overthinking hard. I think you misunderstood what Qin and that guy were talking about”, Pae said, while softly patting Duangs arm. “Exactly, we have been looking for you all night. Qin as well, he was so worried, we couldn’t find you anywhere”, Jamie added.
“When his friends picked him up this morning, at your condo he hadn’t slept. Qin is probably the most worried right now. He probably knows you would overthink it man”, Pae told him.
“Qin… was at my condo?”, Duang asked surprised. Qin has never been to his condo before.
Pae nodded. “They wouldn’t let him up, so he waited for you in the lobby downstairs the whole night.”
Duang, had been thinking the whole night, in his bed at home, how to face Qin when Duang was very sure that the next time they would see each other would be for Qin to tell him to pack his things. But Qin had waited at his condo. For him. He wouldn’t do that to end things between them, right?
--
Qin and his friends were still sitting in the café, Qin was already on his third americano. Probably unhealthy, but what did it matter. He was slumped in his seat, looking out the window and straightening a tiny bit every time the bell from the entry way sounded. Tong, who was on his phone, suddenly shifted a bit. He quickly shoved his phone towards Kim.
“Is it Duang?”, Qin asked.
Tonag and Kim exchanged looks, not sure if they should show Qin the story of Duang with two girls from this morning. It was a story from the faculty senior to promote the faculty shirt, so it technically wasn’t a big deal. But one of the girls was sitting in Duangs car.
When neither of them answered Qin, he grabbed the phone out of Kims hands.
--
Duang sighed and let his head hang between his legs. “I think you guys need to talk”, Pae said.
“Yes. Your relationship is undefined; you are both overthinking right now. You need to make things clear between both of you”, Jamie said clearly. Duang knew he was right. But his doubt was big. Not in Qin, but in himself. How could he make such a big deal out of a possible misunderstanding, without speaking to Qin. He didn’t deserve Qin either.
“I don’t deserve him”, Duang whispered but Jamie and Pae picked it up. “Duang, if anyone deserves Qin, it is you. You are a certified Loverboy”, Jamie tried to hype him up.
“I don’t think what you’re doing is healthy Duang. You need to stop making your worth dependent on someone else. As much as you love Qin. Qin doesn’t define your worth or what you deserve and what you don’t. You define that. And Qin likes you because you’re you. So, stop being this person. This isn’t you. The Duang we know is strong and wouldn’t give up because an asshole, who Qin doesn’t even like anymore.”, Pae said.
Duang looked up. Pae was right, last night did something to him. It hurt him. Because he realized that Qin meant a lot to him and had so much power over him. He needed to get back to the person he is. He doesn’t give up. He didn’t give up when Qin ignored his snacks, or his stickers, or his attempts to get closer to him. Because eventually that was what made Qin fall for him. His true self. Not someone Tiw made out of him. And if Tiw wanted Qin back, Duang just needed to show Qin that he was still here.
Pae was looking at his phone and shoved it into Duang and Jamies face. On it was an Instagram story of Gaem, a senior. On it were Duang and Yim, a girl he had previously made a photoshoot with. It was from this morning, in Duangs car, they smiled and waved at Gaem in the story.
“Wait, why were you together? Why is there a story of you and that girl?”, Jamie asked. Duang looked at them dumbfounded.
Pae sighed and looked at Duang in confusion.
“She was late and running so I stopped the car and offered to give her a ride. We saw Gaem and she asked us to take a quick video to promote the faculty shirt, since she and Yim were wearing it.”, he said as if it was the most normal thing.
“Duang, you might actually be the dumbest person I know”, Pae looked at him. It dawned onto Duang. If Qin saw that story, it might look weird.
He stood up quickly and Jamie and Pae followed him. “Call him”, Jamie said.
Duang nodded quickly. But his pockets were empty.
“I left my phone at the bar last night”, he said in realization. Jamie and Pae looked at each other. “What?”
Duang nodded. Pae quickly grabbed his phone and typed on it.
“They are in the café downstairs”, he said confused. Duang and Jamie ran to the railing and looked down into the small courtyard where the café was. And in the window Kim, Tong ad Qin were sitting. Qin.
Qin was sitting in the armchair, looking small. He had pulled up his legs to hug them in the chair and his head resting on those legs.
They slowly made their way downstairs. “I don’t think you should talk in the café, there is a lot of people right now. You will probably cry. You’re actually already crying”, Pae held him back.
“True, this is probably not a talk for the public”, Jamie laughed. “I don’t care”, Duang said. “I do though, people associate you with me”, Pae said.
Jamie and Pae were laughing already and everything felt normal again. “I’ll grab him, wait here”, Jamie said.
When Jamie entered the café Tong spotted him first. “Did he come to class?”, Tong asked Jamie. Qin immediately sat up right and looked desperate. Jamie didn’t know any other word than to describe it like that.
He nodded his head and Qin stood up. “Where?”
Jamie nodded towards the window of the café. Across from the courtyard you could see the stone staircase who led up to the classes. Pae was standing on it, talking with Duang who was sitting on the staircase. But from where Qin was standing, you couldn’t see Duang at all.
Qin rushed past Jamie and out the door.
“…we might get to finish the assignment before the deadline, so we can go on a quick trip”, Pae was rambling to distract Duang who was sitting on the staircase with his hands on his head.
Qin came around the corner and take a look at Duang.
“Duang”
Duang didn’t dare look up yet. While Jamie and Pae had talked to him, there was still doubt about the whole situation. Qin could still end things between them and get back together with Tiw. It was eating at him. But he liked to believe that he knew Qin.
When Duang didn’t look up, Qin fell down onto the stairs beneath Duang, forcing him to look onto Qins face.
Pae slowly started to retreat, leaving them to speak alone. Now that Duang had to look at Qin, Qin seemed… tired. Tired and lifeless. Duang quickly removed his hands from his hair and fully looked at Qin. Out of reflex his hand went to cradle Qins face. But he stopped halfway and let his hand fall to his side.
He looked like he hadn’t slept. His hair was only brushed quickly with hands. He wore the same outfit as yesterday. And his eyes. When Duang looked into Qins eyes he felt like crying. His eyes were usually not filled with any kind of emotion. Only when he was singing and on rare occasions could Duang spot a speck of Qins soul in them. But now, they were filled with so many emotions. Duang felt like he might explode.
Qin grabbed the hand, that Duang had let fall to his side and pressed it against his cheek.
“Duang”, he repeated. “Where were you?”
Duang looked at Qin and tried to find words. “I needed you, where were you”, Qin said.
“I went home”, Duang pressed out. “I’m sorry”
“Duang, my condo is your home too”, Qin said pleading. He wanted Duang to say anything. He knew Duang was overthinking.
“I was scared you would end things with me”, Duang said and looked down to the ground.
“Duang, I don’t know what you heard between me and Tiw… but I am not ending things with you.”, Qin tried to explain. “I had a fight with Tiw about our past. But that is everything there is. Past. There is no present and even less a future for me and him.”
Duang looked at Qin again. His hand still rested on Qins cheek and Qins till held his hand there. Scared Duang would let go.
“I admit it. I liked Tiw. But Duang, you did so much more. You made me feel so much more.”
Duangs face searched for any kind of trace of dishonesty in Qins face, but there wasn’t any. Qin was speaking straight from his heart. “I feel the same way about you, like you feel for me. I am choosing you. And I would choose you again and again.”
Duang felt tears in his eyes. Hearing it from Qin was pure torture. It was good, it felt so good, but it also made all the emotions in his body come to the surface at once. His doubts, his feelings, his consciousness. He didn’t imagine things. Qin liked him too.
And he cried.
Qin smiled at him. He let go of Duangs hand on his cheek and now touched Duangs face. Cradling the younger one’s face with his hands and wiping away the tears. Duang, who lost all sort of doubt and uncertainty, reached his arms out to pull Qin closer to him. They were sat closely to each other. Duangs arms around Qins waist and Qins hands on Duangs face.
“Ter”, he looked at Qin. And Qin felt like the warmth in this chest might make him explode. It was too much. But he didn’t care. Duang was warmth. Duang was his sun.
“Are you okay? We looked everywhere, we couldn’t reach you” Qin asked him, softly caressing Duangs cheek. Duang was trying to keep a cool head. Qin had never touched him this much. Except for maybe the showers they had taken together. But this was different. This was full of love and care.
“I’m sorry Ter. I left my phone at the bar when I went home. I wanted to be alone for a bit. I wanted to think about it first”, he answered. Qin flicked his forehead. “Overthink”
Duang smiled. “I’m sorry kha. Ter, you look so tired, they said you didn’t sleep”
“I slept a bit, I’m fine”, Qin said. “Do you need to do anything? Let’s go home”
Duang shook his head. And Qin grabbed his hand and pulled him up and towards the parking lot. Leaving their friends alone in the café.
---
The second they arrived at Qins condo, and the door fell close behind them Qin shoved Duang against the wall next to the door. “Ter?”
Qin was looking at Duang intently. His eyes have turned dark. Duang was. Still trying to catch up when suddenly Qins lips were on his, Qin kissed him. Forcefully. Duang tried matching the pace and depth of the kiss, but he was no match. Qin was relentless.
Hands moved up Duangs arms, quickly have his Bicep a squeeze and then moved onto Duangs neck. Duangs mind filled with fog, the kiss was stealing every coherent thought he might be able to produce straight from his brain. His hands wrapped around Qins waist and pulled him closer. Qin moaned into his mouth and Duang squeezed his waist a bit.
While Qin was only a tiny bit shorter than him, his body was smaller. Duangs hands almost fit completely around Qins waist and squeezing his waist was Duangs new favorite thing.
Qin pulled away from him only to kiss along Duangs neck and his collarbone. Duangs hands made an attempt to sink lower against the curve of Qins ass. But Qin slapped his hands away and Duang put them back towards the waist. He suddenly felt a sharp short pain on his neck.
Qin had bitten into the skin on his neck and now licked the skin the skin there a bit. “Ter, what are you doing?”
“Marking you as mine. This is the side you can see from the passenger seat, right?”
Duang didn’t immediately understand, but when he did, he pushed Qin away for a second.
“Is this about Yim?”, he asked worried. “She has a name?”, Qin said while looking at Duangs neck, where a red mark was forming, right below a bite mark.
“Ter, I only gave her a quick ride, because her…”, Duang explained hastily. But he didn’t get to finish because Qin was shutting him up with a kiss. Duang was stunned for a second but quickly gathered himself.
Qins hand moved from Duangs neck to his chest, he laid his hands flat. Then he grabbed a fist full of Duangs shirt and pulled away from the kiss. Duang was panting and so was Qin.
Qin grabbed him and pulled him towards the bedroom and entered the bathroom.
“Strip”, Qin said while leaning back against the skink, watching Duang intently. Duang didn’t have to be told twice. He pulled off his shirt, revealing his ripped abdomen. His hands quickly opened the belt and button on his jeans and pulled them down. His boxer was the only thing remaining.
Qin looked closely at Duangs growing bulge. Duang hooked his fingers in the waistband and pulled the last piece of clothing from his body. He gulped, now standing fully naked in front of Qin, who was still clothed. Qin took in every single part of Duangs body and took his time doing so. Just when Duang thought he might die of shame because just the look in Qins eyes made him even harder than he already was, Qin spoke.
“Help me undress, will you?”
Duang was at his side immediately. Qins black dress shirt from last night was gone first. Qins arms found Duangs neck again and Qin went back to kissing Duangs neck. Duang hissed and opened Qins belt and button to the push both of them down. “Ter, let go for a bit”
Qin let go of Duang, who crouched down and helped Qin step out of each pant leg, one at a time. He looked up at Qin from this angle and gave him a wide grin. “You really are a puppy, aren’t you?”, Qin smiled at him. “So eager for every command I give you”
Duang smirked and his hands touched Qins thighs. They were soft and pale. He considered biting into them, but he knew Qin would scold him. Qin was just as hard as Duang, so Duang took him into his hands and Qin, who was still leaning against the sink threw back his head. “Shit, Duang”
Duang smiled and softly stroked Qins cock. Qin let out a small whimper and his hands found Duangs hair.
Duang grinned and gave Qins tip a soft kiss before licking it.
“Duang”
“Hm?”
“Don’t tease me”
And Duang didn’t, he slowly took Qin into his mouth and started to push as much of him into his throat as possible. Qins hands in his hair gripped tightly. When Duang had all of Qin in his mouth Qin let out a deep breath.
Duang started a steady rhythm. He only gagged a few times, when Qins head grazed the back of his throat. Whenever that happened Qin let out a whimpering noise, that Duang could die for. The hands in his hair quickly grabbed tighter and took control and guided Duangs hair down Qins length quicker.
Duang enjoyed this side of Qin. And the noises that he made. God Duang could die right there. Qin wouldn’t let that happen though. “Ter I’m about to come”, Qin said between beautiful noises and Duang halted for a second, surprised by the endearing pronoun.
He slowly pulled away from Qins cock, who was glistening. Qin whined as the cold air hit his length. “Why did you stop?”
“You… you said ter”, Duang kneed in front of Qin in complete shock. Qin who slowly started to realize it blushed. “Whatever”, he tried looking away. Duang smirked and took Qins length into his hand again. He left kisses all over the side and the tip.
“T… Duang, please”, Qin whined. “Say it again”, Duang pleaded with a smirk on his face.
Qin sighed and looked at him with bright red cheeks. “Duang”, Qin warned him. Duang only tiled his head and looked up smirking at Qin. But seeing how red Duangs lips were and how tousled his hair was from Qins hands, he gave in.
“Ter”
Duangs lips were back on Qins cock and moved faster than before. Qin couldn’t keep up and steadied himself on Duangs shoulders. He felt Duangs hands on his leg and soon Duang guided one of Qins legs on one of his shoulders. Qin thought he might come any second. Duangs dominant side surprised him each time. But he found it God so attractive. He couldn’t refrain from moaning and that only encouraged Duangs to continue his pace up and down Qins length. “…I’m about to come Duang, please…. Please don’t stop”, he whimpered. And Duang moved his hand around Qins base and sucked the light out of Qins eyes. His toes curled on Duangs back and his head fell back. “Duang”, he moaned quietly as he shot his cum down Duangs throat. And Duang took all of it. He swallowed every last drop and when he finally let of Qins throbbing cock he licked his lips clean while looking up at Qin.
That sight alone might make Qin hard again, he thought. He was still trying to come down from his high when he felt soft kisses on the thigh which was seated on Duangs shoulder.
He watched Duang kiss his pale Tigh and while trying to catch his breath he appreciated the sight in front of him. Duang, who he loved so much was kissing his thigh with so much love and admiration that Qin didn’t think he deserved all this love. He slowly touched Duangs cheek and gestures for him to stand up.
“Just a bit more Ter”, Duang said as if he was in a trance. “Duang, I need to shower I feel sticky”
Duang relentlessly let off and let go of Qins thigh. Qin rubbed a hand over his face and smiled at Duang. Duang entered the shower and Qin followed closely behind. While Duang turned on the shower and felt for the right temperature, Qin hugged him from behind and let his hands caress the muscles on Duangs abdomen.
“Ter careful”, Duang said in a hoarse voice. “I think we should try tonight”, Qin said while still caressing his abdomen. Duang tensed a bit at the words.
“Ter you haven’t slept and you barely have any energy, I don’t think this is the right time”
“But Duang….”, Qin whined.
Duang turned around. “I’m only scared it will be too much, we need to prepare and we don’t even have condoms”
“I do”
“What?”
“There are some in my bedside table”, Qin said as if it was the most obvious thing. Duang looked at Qins face closely. Looking for a sign of hesitation or tiredness. But he found none, only warmth, desire and something else he couldn’t pinpoint.
He sighed. “Fine but if you’re too tired, we are stopping”
Qin beamed and quickly exited the shower and left the bathroom. He returned with two plastic wrappers.
Duang raised an eyebrow. “Here?”
“Well, we need to shower after anyway, if it doesn’t work, we can always go to the bed”, he added. Duang nodded. And pulled Qin to stand under the stream of water. The water droplets made Qins hair darker and cling to his forehead. Duang softly pushed them away from his face. The water temperature made Qins pale body turn pink and the water droplets running down his body made Duang gulp. Qin saw it and smiled up at him.
Duang took a step back when Qin took a step closer and he was backed against a wall.
“Ter”, he said warning Qin. Qin only hummed and let his hands run over Duangs body in appreciation. “I love you Duang, there isn’t anyone but you, that I want to do this with”
Duang grabbed Qins waist tightly and smiled widely. “Terrrrr”, he smiled and teased Qin.
Qin slapped his chest. “I’m just saying” Duang nodded. “Yes, Yes, I know. I love you too”
Qin gave Duang a quick peck, but Duang wanted more. He pulled Qin closer by the hips and kissed him deeply. Just like every other time that Duang kissed him. Qin went numb and was surprised by the power of Duangs kiss. He melted into Duang and Duang had to hold him upright by the hips. They kissed deeply and soon Duang felt Qins length hard against his own hard cock. He caressed Qins waist and shortly pulled away from the kiss.
“Ter, we need to…”, he began explaining. “I know, I’ve been preparing”, Qin said smiling. Duangs breath hitched. “…What?”, he asked. Qins face went bright red, but he knew this was important if they were to have sex.
“I’ve been preparing myself… like stretching every once in a while. Like with my fingers”
Duang closed his eyes. He tried thinking about anything else but Qin fingering himself so he could get used to it. He might come without touching if Qin continued to talk like this wasn’t a big deal.
Qin gave him a quick kiss because he was shy. “But I want you to prep me now”
Duang died. Qin didn’t know the power of his words. Or maybe he did. But Duang has successfully gone to dog heaven. He took a deep breathe in and out with his eyes closed. It took everything in him to not come untouched right then and there, pressed against Qins abdomen.
“Ter, do you know what you are saying?”, he answered lowly. Qin nodded. Duang griped Qins hips and turned him around so his back was flush against Duang. Which was a mistake in his part, because now Qins absolutely perfect and fantastic backside was pressed against his already leaking dick.
Steady breaths, in and out.
He laid his head on Qins shoulder and looked at him. “Okay, we’re going to take this slow, okay?”, Qin nodded in agreement. “Let’s do this on the bed though. I think this won’t be easy while standing”, Duang added.
Even if he did so reluctantly, Qin agreed and grabbed Duangs hand and pulled him out of the shower, He quickly dried most of himself off and walked into the bedroom.
Qin climbed onto the bed and Duang had to control himself to not jump onto him. The sight of Qins figure climbing onto the bed. Fully naked? Absolutely worth it. He didn’t know what he did in his previous lives to deserve this, but he thanked all his previous selves for this moment and for this view.
He sat on the edge of the bed and slowly made his way towards Qin. Qin sat up and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “Go ahead”
Duang nodded and grabbed one of Qins legs and hooked it over his shoulder. Qin handed him a bottle and Duang already knew they were getting serious now. “Ter… let me know if it hurts, I’ll stop. Okay?”
Qin nodded and took a deep breath. Duang coated his finger in lube and closed the bottle. Qin looked at him and for a split second Duang thought he saw something in his eyes. He pushed himself up a bit and bent down to kiss Qins lips. Qin kissed back immediately. His lips felt hot and his tongue felt rough against his own. Duang only stopped for a second.
“If you want to stop, I’ll stop”
Qin only rolled his eyes. “Duang, stop teasing me and do it already”, he immediately pulled Duang into another kiss. Which was hot and messy and Duang loved it. His finger moved towards the space in between them, and he felt around the rim of Qins hole.
As soon as Qin felt the tip of Duangs finger circle around his hole he let out a quiet moan against Duangs lips. That only motivated Duang to keep going and so he slowly pushed in one finger. Qin felt tight around his finger, and he felt the muscle contracting against his finger. He was only halfway in when he stopped to break away from the kiss and look if Qin had any sign of discomfort. But Qin only beamed up at him. His eyes were fully dark and he stared at Duangs lips as if he would starve without them.
Duang pushed in the rest and then he could see it the tiny bit of discomfort. He waited a second and showered Qins chest and abdomen in small kisses. After a while Qin have his shoulder a tap. He looked up and Qin gave him a nod. He looked into Qins eyes and started to slowly move his finger. Qins face immediately showed signs of lust, and his eyes were filled with pure desire. Duang moved at a faster pace and looked down. Seeing his own finger disappear into qins small hole was a sight he didn’t know he needed but definitely couldn’t life without anymore. He curled his finger and changed the pace to something that made Qin whine.
“Duang please.”, Qin begged. He needed another one of Duangs fingers. His own fingers didn’t compare at all to what Duang was doing to him right now. When he took a look down and saw Duangs wrist pump in and out of him he was sure he’d see stars soon. But when he saw Duangs throbbing member with precum leaking, he didn’t know if he could even take it.
Duang added another finger and Qin was a mess underneath him. He was moaning and shaking and Duang couldn’t help but stop the kisses and admired him.
He looked so perfect. Duang sped up his fingers a bit more. Qin definitely needed three fingers before he could even think about putting himself anywhere near Qin. But Qin was already leaking precum onto his stomach in a clear line from his tip connecting to the stomach.
He removed his fingers to coat them in lube before adding a third finger and Qin immediately whined. A sound that made Duang go insane. “No… Duang…please”
He closed the lube bottle and slowly entered two fingers into Qin. He was a wreck again. Arching his back into the mattress and legs shaking, so Duang put the other leg over his shoulder too. At the new angle Qin definitely felt like he would come at any given moment, without Duang even touching his dick.
“Wait wait… Duang”, he said quickly and Duang immediately stopped.
“I’m about to come again”, Qin panted using the break to regain his ability to breathe. “Then why stop?”, Duang asked.
“I need you in me tonight. I can’t wait longer. Let me focus for a bit”
Duang chuckled and removed his fingers. The loss made Qin go crazy, but he had to be patient. If he came now, he didn’t know if he could come again. If he would be too sensitive, he cannot risk it.
He regained his breath and opened his eyes. Duang had already put on a condom and looked at him with a wide grin.
God, he didn’t know what to do with him. He looked so good like that.
“Duang”
“Hmm?”
“You look so good”, Qin whispered.
Duang took a look at the pale boy in front of him, body full of kiss marks, hair puffy, cheeks flush. Leaking precoma in a straight line to the stomach.
“You look perfect Ter”
He aligned himself with Qins hole but didn’t dare push in without Qins agreement.
He gave Qin lots of kisses on his already kiss filled body and sucked a bit on his collarbone, revenge for what he did to him earlier.
Qin pulled him into a long kiss. His lips still panting against Duang. He pulled away and looked into Duangs eyes.
Duang pushed the first half in and Qins face scrunched up. He gave lots of kisses, on the left collarbone, on the right neck, just below his ear, on his shoulder, on his temple.
“More”, Qins voice sounded hoarse, but Duang heard it and he slowly pushed himself in all the way. A muffled sound came out of Qin and he buried his face against Duangs neck.
“Are you okay?”, Duang asked worried. He might come too fast if Qin made any more sounds. Qin nodded against Duangs neck and Duang started to move slowly.
He tried to tune out the moans now coming very clearly from the person below him, so that he wouldn’t come after 3 thrusts.
Qins hands scratched on Duangs back as Duang fastened his pace and angle. “Oh my god”, Qin whimpered against Duangs neck and fell back into the cushion. His back arched into each thrust Duang gave him and Duang used one hand to caress Qinns face.
Every time his hips met Qins he made a sound that qin wished so deeply he could hear every day. And maybe, just maybe he needs to make that happen. Because sex with Duang? Life changing. He was surprised he could formulate a thought. He knew that he was seconds away from cumming, but that didn’t stop him from arching into each thrust and meeting Duangs hips. Duangs thrust were fast and deep, he grazed Qins spot each time and every so often hit it right on. Qin was a mess. He didn’t know if he could ever live without this.
But the best thing about this was. He didn’t have to. He didn’t have to life without this. Because Duang loved him. And he loved Duang.
“Duang I’m about to…”, he tried to say in between his sounds, but Duang already knew.
Duang slowed down his tempo but thrusted deeper and with more power, “Duang, oh my god”, Qin explained and shortly after scratched one last time on Duangs back and fell limp. Duangs and his stomach were coated in his sticky fluid and Duang smiled down at him.
He slowly thrusted a few times more and came with a low grunt.
“You did so good Ter”, he said as he softly touched Qins cheeks.
Qin only nodded, he was done. His energy at the bottom. Duang slowly pulled out of Qin, who whimpered at the sudden loss.
Duang got up from the bed and threw away the condom. “Ter you need to shower quickly”, he said. Qin could only nod but didn’t move an inch. Duang walked over. And softly grabbed his hand. He guided it around his neck and grabbed Qins legs.
“I can walk myself”, Qin muttered incoherently. “What was that?”, Duang said while already lifting Qin.
Qin sighed and gave up.
Duang walked them into the shower. He put down Qin who stood on wobbly legs. He held onto Qins hip while he turned on the water. Soft and warm water ran over Qins body and he sighed. Duang used one hand to steady him, while the other was cleaning Qins body with bodywash. He washed Qins hair with his shampoo and cleaned every part of the tired boy in front of him. When Qin was finished, he quickly washed himself and shut the shower off.
“Let’s get you to bed”, Duang said softly. Qin wrapped his hands around Duangs neck and Duang grinned widely. Cuddly, needy, tried Qin was the cutest person ever. And he though Qin couldn’t get any cuter.
He let Qin down onto the new bedsheets and quickly crawled next to him. Qin softly cuddled against his side.
“Goodnight Ter”