Chapter Text
It was through a raging fit that Mikleo met the one who would become the most important person in his life.
There was a sickness that affected the most creative minds. Someone could catch it at any point of the day, but it was more common at late hours into the night, when mental defenses were lowered and the person would be tired from the days events. The symptoms would show themselves slowly; a mild headache; tense shoulders and neck muscles; hands that refused to work, no matter how anxious the mind would get —and it would get incredibly anxious. This sickness fed on creativity and will to live, and could transform the toughest of humans into a mere pile of crying meat on the floor.
The sickness’ name was ‘writer’s block’.
Mikleo had suffered from writer’s block many times in his life. It used to be more frequent when he was an amateur writer — he used to stay up until sunrise writing pages and pages just to end up deleting them all when his insecurities showed their ugly heads—, but that didn’t mean he didn’t suffer from it now. In fact, even if writer’s block struck him less often now, it usually hit him with an intensity that left him unable to function for weeks, making him sit at his desk and stare at the blinking cursor with the same fright someone would regard a massive spider.
He was trying to fight his way through one of the worst writer’s blocks to date when it happened. Mikleo felt his chest constrict as he reread everything he had been working on for the last three days and found nothing he liked. The words didn’t match up to the idea he had in his head; the ideas weren’t as clear, the imaginary was all wrong. His text was a jumble of dates, and names and places and Mikleo hated it, hated it, hated it—
In a fit, he smashed his closed fists on the keyboard of his laptop, making thousands of letters appear on his document. It felt really good so he did it again and again, smashing the keys with enough force to hurt the sides of his fists, watching as gibberish wrote itself on his word document.
But it wasn’t until he stopped punching his poor, abused laptop that he realized he had changed the radio station he had been listening to without meaning.
The classical music that had accompanied him throughout the night had been suddenly replaced by a warm, deep voice coming from his speakers. He heard nothing except its cadence at first; just the sound of it made Mikleo’s fists unclench, the half moons his nails had left in his palms clear on his pale skin. But then he heard the actual words, pure and sweet like a friend’s encouragement, and Mikleo stopped breathing for a second as he listened.
“…Nothing you ever do is useless.” The voice coming from his laptop said, its tone leaving no room for retorts. “ Sometimes it may seem like it, but I can promise you, it’s not. It’s a step closer to what you want to achieve! Every single thing, no matter how small or unimportant you think it is, it’s actually a step away from not doing anything. From having nothing.
“Think of it this way.” Was Mikleo wrong, or could he actually hear a smile on the speaker’s voice? “ Think of what you have created tonight as a skeleton. A foundation. It’s okay to hate it, but don’t discard it! You now have something closer to what you wanted, you just have to polish it and give it love now —I can see you laughing Rose, quit it!— until it’s exactly what you hoped it would be. No one gets things right on their first try!
“So, there you go, listeners! No matter if you’re an artist, a writer, a student or —same as our friend SleeplessMusician1993 here— a compositor who never likes his music, please know that no matter what, nothing you ever do is pointless. The world is already a better place just because you’re creating something new.”
Mikleo snorted out loud. This person was so sickly sweet that Mikleo didn’t know if he should smile or roll his eyes. But it was precisely their sweetness and the conviction behind their words what made Mikleo… believe him.
He looked at his word document with a new light in his eyes.
A step closer to what I want it to be…
"I’m afraid we don’t have more time for tonight, guys! It was a pleasure to read all of your emails and I hope I could help you feel better, even if just a bit! My name is Sorey and the bully behind the glass is my friend Rose. Hope you have a good night, and see you tomorrow!”
The voice died down and was replaced by soft music, not classical like the one Mikleo had been listening to, but still very much in the mood the speaker —Sorey—had left in. Mikleo sat in his chair, fingers drumming softly in the wood of his desk, gaze lost. His chest felt warm and his shoulders had finally relaxed, though he hadn’t even realized he had been that tense until then. He had only listened for a few minutes, but the change was incredible; the voice and the words had been like one of Lailah’s mama bear hugs, like the soft breeze that played with his hair back in his home in Elysia. There was something coiling in the pit of his stomach: not anything nasty like he had been feeling before, but something so warm that he found himself sighing at the feeling.
Mikleo sat straight in his chair and, with a flick of his hand on his mouse, deleted all the keysmashing he had done before.
He was suddenly very pumped to write.
—
It didn’t take long for Sorey’s voice to replace Mikleo’s classical music every time he sat down to write in the months that followed. Sorey’s live program was at night, but Mikleo didn’t have trouble finding podcasts of Sorey’s program for other times of the day. It turned out, despite the weird hours his program was broadcasted, Sorey had a pretty big fanbase. Everyone had only nice words towards Sorey and his enthusiasm; hundreds, thousands of people across the country had found solace and comfort in Sorey’s voice in more than one occasion.
Mikleo had —not so slowly— become one of those people. Usually, Sorey’s warm voice was nothing but white noise while he wrote, Mikleo being too immersed in his own thoughts to really listen to what was being said. But whenever he faltered, Mikleo would sit back, sip his quickly cooling tea and close his eyes, letting Sorey’s encouraging words revive his passion for writing.
“You can do anything you set yourself to do.” Sorey was saying as Mikleo edited a paragraph from the last chapter of his book. “ It doesn’t matter how hard your task might be, there’s no reason you won’t be able to achieve it! It also doesn’t matter how long it takes you. As long as you get to a place you’re happy to be in, it’s completely okay.”
Mikleo looked at the time. Almost 3 AM. Sorey’s program usually ended at that time —you could usually tell by the sleepy cadence of Sorey’s voice that the time to say goodbye for the day was coming — but tonight, it was different. Sorey was excited from beginning to end; sometimes even Rose, his loyal companion at the station, had to shout at him to stay still because he tended to move away from the mic in his enthusiasm. Mikleo listened with a smile as Sorey apologized and laughed, his bright laugh sending nice tingles from Mikleo’s headphones to the rest of his body.
“I have a cool announcement today, guys!” Sorey said. A hollow sound followed his words, like a clap. “ As you may or may not know, we’ve been teasing on our webpage about something very exciting for the last month. Some of you guessed it; some others… Have a very wild imagination hahaha. But I’m going to reveal the truth today!”
Mikleo raised his eyebrows, his fingers stilling over his keyboard. Sorey’s enthusiasm was contagious so he listened with his breath held in his lungs.
“Truth is… We’re going on tour! Well, calling it tour is a bit of a stretch… BUT! I’m so excited, guys! We’re going to have live talk shows at four different cities, which you guys can attend! I’ll give you a —as Rose calls it —motivational speech and then I’ll be answering any questions you might have, or you can even tell me about what’s bothering you there if you feel like sharing! It’s going to be so much fun! I really hope you guys come so I can meet all of you.
“The tour will start here in Lastonbell, in two weeks. Then we’ll move to Pendrago, AND THEN, something I’m very excited about, we’ll be going to Hyland to visit both Marlind and Ladylake! The tour is supposed to last about three months. All the info you might need is already on our website, and tickets are already on sale! Please, please, come visit us! We’ll have a great time together!”
After that, Sorey started to say his goodbyes for the night but Mikleo didn’t listen to them. He was still caught up on the news, his heart beating so hard inside his chest he could feel it at the base of his throat and at his temples, making him dizzy.
Sorey was coming to Ladylake. Sorey, the voice that had accompanied him for the last four months while Mikleo finished his book, was coming to Mikleo’s city, Ladylake. There was a chance for Sorey to stop being just a nice voice. He would be able to see Sorey in the flesh, have a face to imagine when he listened to his program, maybe even talk to him, thank him…
No, Mikleo thought, shaking his head. His fingertips gripped the edges of his laptop so hard they turned white. It’s better if Sorey remains just a voice in my laptop. He’s helped me through my writing and that’s it. I don’t have to meet him at all.
He closed his laptop with more force than necessary. He wouldn’t be attending Sorey’s talk. He would wish him the best, for Sorey truly deserved it, but he would do so from his room, probably as he finished editing his book.
With a nod of his head, Mikleo opened his laptop and began working once again.
Almost three months later
Mikleo would never get used to seeing his name on the front cover of a book. And much less see that same book being sold at his favorite bookstore. It was such an amazing feeling—he felt like he could do anything now. He had published a book! His first book! He didn’t even care about the reviews it might get —he cared, a lot, but he was trying hard not to think about it. He was just so proud of his book, of himself! He could stare at the blue cover for hours, touching the title with trembling fingertips.
There was something in it, however, that made Mikleo flush with embarrassment every time he thought about it. He had decided to do it on a whim, probably caused by exhaustion, too much celebrating with Lailah and the fact that he hadn’t heard Sorey’s motivational broadcast in almost two months due to Sorey being on tour (podcasts just weren’t the same anymore).
Inside the book, right after the page with the book title and Mikleo’s pen name, Mikleo had added a little dedication to the person who had aided him the most during the writing of his book.
“To Sorey:” His dedication began. “Whose words were a drop of light in dark water. May they ripple far.”
If Lailah’s giggle upon reading it was any indication, it was incredibly cheesy. But it fitted Mikleo’s feelings pretty well, and anyway, he wasn’t that kind of writer! He wrote about ruins and history and other people’s idiocy when cataloguing archeological sites. He didn’t know how to transform feelings into words.
A little chime from his pocket made him almost drop his book. He let it carefully on the stand with the others and picked up his phone, quickly swiping his finger over the screen to see what was going on.
“Symposium starts in 5 minutes.” A message in his phone told him.
Mikleo felt himself go pale.
He was very, very late.
“Fuck!”
Mikleo ran out of the store as if his life depended on it. His feet took him without much thought to Ladylake University, a place Mikleo knew like the back of his hand. He had dreamed of studying there when he was a kid, had actually studied there when the chance was presented, and had spent hours upon hours doing research for his book at the university’s library. So when he arrived at the auditorium where the symposium was being held and found the doors locked, he didn’t fret. Ladylake U had no secrets for him.
He went out of the building and ran to its side, to a emergency exist whose alarm for some reason never started when someone opened the door. He walked through it and found himself on the sidelines of the dais, hidden behind a thick, red curtain.
The place was packed. Mikleo hadn’t known so many people would be interested in that exact symposium, but he had run so hard and so fast that he was too tired too think much about it. He simply scurried down the side of the dais, keeping himself in the shadows and trying not to bump into anyone, until he was able to take the steps up to the top of auditorium, finding an unoccupied seat at the second to last row. He let himself fall on his chair with a sigh, closing his eyes.
“Welcome, everyone!” Someone shouted from the dais, their voice carrying throughout all the auditorium through the speakers. Mikleo’s eyes snapped open. Instead of his elderly, former professor, on the dais stood a young, energetic girl. Mikleo had never seen her before but her voice was incredibly familiar. “Thank you so much for coming! We’re very excited to see how many of you showed up. We’ll start as soon as Sorey’s ready, but meanwhile let me—“
Sorey?
Sorey.
SOREY!?
Mikleo’s heart threatened to jump out of his chest. He knew now why the girl’s voice had sounded familiar. It was Rose, Sorey’s show companion.
And this was Sorey’s talk show, here in Ladylake.
Sorey is here, Sorey is here, Sorey is— Mikleo’s head couldn’t let go of the thought. The voice that had accompanied him every night for the past four months was here. He was going to see him, in person, when he had promised himself he wouldn’t. That he would leave Sorey as this mysterious person whose voice was able to pull Mikleo out of the darkest depths.
But he was an idiot and he had managed to go into the wrong auditorium, right the same day Sorey was here.
What were the odds!?
It made sense now, why so many people were here. They had come to see Sorey, not attend a talk on the Mabinogio Ruins. Mikleo’s heart kept pumping so hard he couldn’t breathe, and his vision went black for a second.
He could ran away, he reasoned. No one would see him, and even if they did they wouldn’t care. But the doors were closed, and if he wanted to leave he would have to go through the same way he had entered: through the emergency exit at the side of the dais.
He couldn’t go up the dais and leave, not with the show about to start.
So he leaned back and tried to calm his nerves. His palms were sweaty and his heart still beat erratically; he was both excited and terrified to meet Sorey in the flesh. For the love of God, he had dedicated the guy his first book and Mikleo hadn’t even seen him before.
He had a right to be nervous.
Everyone around him cheered as someone else walked onto the dais. Mikleo was too far up to see while everyone around him lifted their arms in the air, waving. The figure waved back, and in between flashes Mikleo saw a breathtaking grin.
And then the people calmed down, and Mikleo finally saw Sorey.
He was…
He was—
A dork.
It was the first word that came to Mikleo’s mind upon laying his eyes on Sorey. Sorey couldn’t be older than Mikleo; he stood on the dais with his feet apart and his hands on his hips, like the hero of a manga. He was wearing jeans and a blue Ladylake shirt with a drawing of the Sacred Sword, the city’s most known symbol, and boots that seemed sturdy and nice, as if he was planning on going exploring right after his talk. From his ears hung matching feather earrings, two in each side, that he kept playing with while he waited for his audience to stop talking.
He looked like a dork, yes. But he was also…
Mikleo hadn’t let himself imagine Sorey. At all. He had forced himself to think of Sorey as simply a voice, sometimes forgetting he was even a person. But now, looking at the real deal, Mikleo thought Sorey was the perfect embodiment of his personality and voice. Sweet, vibrant green eyes that seemed to calm the whole auditorium’s excited atmosphere. Incredible, blinding smile that made Mikleo’s heart beat faster. Even his hair —honey brown and slightly falling over the side of his forehead — made Mikleo think of laying down on a green field and caressing that hair with his fingers, combing it slowly.
Wow. That took an unexpected turn.
“Hello, everyone!” Sorey’s voice rang around the place, made more powerful by the speakers and microphone resting on his cheek. His voice was even better in reality, away from all the distortions Mikleo’s old laptop created. “I’m so happy to be here! For those of you who might not know me, my name is Sorey and I’m the host of ‘Let the bells chime!’, a motivational radio program that tries to help people with their problems. I hope we all can have fun here today and that you’ll walk out of here with a weight off your shoulders!”
Sorey’s speech flowed smoothly. Everyone in the room listened to him, as if hypnotized, and Mikleo was no less. It turned out Sorey had a way of moving his body as he spoke that was as enticing as his words. He had everyone in there wrapped around his little finger, hanging from every word that came through his smile —for Sorey smiled even while he spoke, sunshiny and boyish.
But when the time of questions came, Mikleo felt annoyance start to bubble under his skin. It seemed not everyone was as caught up in Sorey’s spell as Mikleo has thought. Some people raised their hands, waiting for Sorey to see them and give them word, just to start saying how Sorey was just feeding people romantic bullshit that had no base. How could Sorey know everyone in the room would achieve what they wanted? They asked. It was statistically improbable that everyone in there would be successful in life, they said. They kept trying to push their negativity onto Sorey, looking for a blush or a stutter, a crack in Sorey’s air of confidence.
But Sorey simply answered each and every jab with a smile and a well-thought answer. He never hesitated, and everything he said in reply to those kinds of people were incredibly intelligent statements that let the others speechless. Some were captivated by Sorey once he was done replying, and stayed the reminder of the talk starring at him with starry eyes. Others got up and left, stomping their feet in their anger.
Sorey never once lost his smile.
His intelligence and sweetness made Mikleo’s heart soar.
By the end of the talk, Mikleo realized even he himself felt incredible. He felt like he could run a mile, like he could do anything; if he wanted, he could run back home and write another book, and it would be at least just as good as the one he had just published.
And it was thanks to Sorey.
People around him started to get up and walk out of the auditorium through the now unlocked doors. Mikleo stayed sitting for a moment, eyes fixed on Sorey. People were approaching him, shaking his hands and smiling at him with warmth, and for a moment Mikleo thought of joining them. But no; he hadn’t even wanted to put a face to Sorey’s voice before, he couldn’t talk to him now. He wanted Sorey to remain in his head as this incredible person that existed and had the power to vanish the ill thoughts from even the most stubborn people.
With a sigh and a small smile, Mikleo rose.
“Wait right there, you!” A familiar voice shouted.
Mikleo turned around in time to get tackled by a red blur. He was pushed back against the wall of the auditorium with surprising strength, one arm holding him against it by the shoulders. The shock of being manhandled made him dizzy for a moment, but he soon focused his gaze on the person holding him down, an angry look on their blue eyes.
It was Rose.
“You thought I wouldn’t notice, huh?” She said, waving a finger in front of Mikleo’s face. “But nothing escapes my notice, nothing! Come with me, Mister!”
“Wait, what are you— Woah!!”
Rose, with a strength unexpected in someone as petite as she was, grabbed his wrist and started to pull him behind her down the stairs. Mikleo struggled to follow her quick descent but he kept stumbling on the steps; the only reason he kept his equilibrium at all was the girl’s strong hold on his arm.
Rose kept pulling him along even once they reached the dais. She seemed to know where she was taking him but he was starting to get fed up, so he dug his heels on the floor and pulled his arm back, making the girl stop short. She turned around, her fiery red her flying and hitting her cheeks softly.
“What are you doing?” Mikleo asked while he touched his wrist. It hurt slightly from her grip. “Who do you think you are!?”
“And who do you think you are!?” The girl shouted back, her hands flying to her hips. She leaned forward, making Mikleo lean back. “Sneaking in here without paying, honestly…”
Mikleo blinked at her, astounded. “…Wait, what?”
“Don’t play innocent! I saw you sneaking in here through the emergency door. I would have come to get your sneaky ass earlier but I didn’t want to cause a scene.”
“You’re causing one now!” Mikleo replied. “And I don’t know what you’re talking abo—“
But he did. He vaguely remembered one of Sorey’s latest broadcasts, how he had said tickets for his talk shows were already on sale. That was why the doors were closed: to prevent anyone who didn't have a ticket from sneaking in.
Mikleo had sneaked in Sorey’s talk show without paying.
He felt himself go pale.
“Oh my God…”
“Don’t think that scared look is going to make me feel any pity, Mister!” Rose said with a buff. “Just you wait, I’m—“
“Is something wrong?” A new voice chimed in.
And Mikleo knew things couldn’t go any worse. Because right behind him stood none other than Sorey, hands in his pockets, looking between Rose and Mikleo as if he didn’t know if he should be amused or truly worried.
He was so close to Mikleo, he could actually feel the heat radiating off him.
“This fella sneaked into our show without paying.”
Sorey frowned. It was the first time Mikleo had seen him lose his smile all afternoon. “What?”
“I did not!” Mikleo shouted, looking only at Rose. He couldn’t look at Sorey, he couldn’t, he couldn’t—
He had dedicated him his first book—!
“So where is you’re ticket, huh?” Rose pressed on
“W-well, I don’t have it, but—“
“See! He doesn’t have it because he sneaked in! We should—“
“Hey, Rose—“ Sorey quickly cut in, resting a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “—Brad was looking for you right now. Why don’t you go see what’s up? I’ll take care of this.”
Mikleo thought Rose would protest. But, surprisingly, she just pouted and pointed her finger at Sorey this time, narrowing her eyes. “If I hear you’ve been a softie I’ll kick your ass, Sorey!”
Sorey simply smiled at her. “Yes, yes.”
Rose left stomping her feet. Both Mikleo and Sorey watched her go, the former without comprehending how his life had gotten so weird in so little time, the latter with a simple smile.
“Sorry about that.” Sorey said, scratching the back of his head and turning towards Mikleo. “She’s just very protective of me. She says everyone would take advantage of me without her.”
Mikleo turned too, feeling his ponytail sway behind him. You probably shouldn’t go around saying that, he thought. “It’s fine.”
“Did you, though?” Sorey asked. His smile fell then, and the look he directed at Mikleo made Mikleo’s heart clench painfully. Sorey looked at him as if Mikleo had hurt him, somehow. As if Sorey had deposited his faith in Mikleo and he had crushed it to pieces. “Sneak in here without a ticket?”
Which was weird considering they had just met.
Mikleo wrapped his arms around his own chest, protectively. “It’s not what you think.”
“Try to explain it to me?” Sorey scratched his cheek with his index finger. “I’m smart.”
Mikleo rolled his eyes and looked away. Sorey’s green eyes were almost unbearable this close. “You wouldn’t believe me, anyway. It’s so absurd—“
“Why wouldn’t I?” Sorey asked, truly flabbergasted.
Is this guy even real?! Mikleo wondered.
“Okay. Okay.” With his left hand, Mikleo pushed his bangs back nervously just to feel them bounce back to their original place. “Truth is… I wanted to go to this symposium on Ancient Ruins that was being held at the same time as your show here in Ladylake U but I lost track of time and ended up going into the wrong auditorium and—“
“Hold on a sec!” Sorey said excitedly; one of his hands flew forward to grab Mikleo’s arm, not forcefully, but as if he needed to hold on to something to contain his enthusiasm. “You were meant to go to Mayvin’s symposium on the Mabinoggio ruins!?”
Mikleo blinked twice, his violet eyes opened wide. “…You know Professor Mayvin?”
“I’m a fan of his work!” Sorey’s eyes sparkled. His feather earrings bounced in his ears. “I wanted to go to his talk so bad, but Rose wouldn’t let me change the hour of the show! She threatened me with burning my copy of the Celestial Record if I did it and—“
“The Celestial Record!?” This time, it was Mikleo’s time to be excited, feeling his mouth curl upwards in a smile. “You’ve read it?”
“Of course!” Dropping Mikleo’s arm, Sorey lowered the neck of his t-shirt and pulled from a silver chain until he was able to pull a necklace with a familiar charm. It was black, two lighting bolts over a big, half moon and crowned by another smaller moon.
Mikleo’s eyes opened like saucers. “The symbol of the Shepherd!”
“Yup!” Sorey’s smile was even more radiant than before; he looked down at Mikleo with the excitement of a child, blinding and pure. “I made it myself! I’ve had it for years now.”
It did look old, Mikleo noted. The black paint was chipped near the edges, letting Mikleo see the original color of the metal underneath. The charm had been made with care, but still one of the sides was longer than the other, and the little moon was tilted to the right.
It wasn’t perfect, but Mikleo would’ve loved to have it.
“I’ve never met someone who read it before!” Sorey admitted, letting the necklace fall on his chest. “This is so cool…”
“Me neither,” Mikleo said, looking up at Sorey. “I—“
“Sorey!” Someone shouted suddenly. Both of them turned to see a young, red-haired man running towards them, eyes opened wide and worry lines in his face. “You have to come right now!”
“Mason!” Sorey jumped when the man grabbed him from behind by the shoulders and started to shake him. “What happened?”
“Fans!” Mason shouted, letting his forehead fall on Sorey’s back. “Everywhere!”
Mikleo saw Sorey frown. His fingers played nervously with one of his earrings. “Alright…?”
“You have to come with me!” Mason shouted.
And started to push Sorey away from Mikleo.
“O—oi, wait, Mason!” Sorey turned his head to look over his shoulder back at Mikleo, who observed as Sorey was forced to move with a confused expression. “I’m sorry!” Sorey shouted, waving at Mikleo and throwing him an apologetic look. “It was nice meeting you! I hope you had fun!”
Mikleo blinked once, twice, and then once again when Sorey was out of sight. He couldn’t comprehend what had happened in the last two hours of his life. He had only intended to attend a talk on ruins and suddenly he had sneaked into the talk show of the guy who had saved Mikleo’s book many times during the past months.
Not only that, but he had met him. He had met Sorey. The same Sorey that had whispered words of encouragement through Mikleo’s headphones, that had the greenest eyes Mikleo had ever seen, and that —somehow— had the same interests as Mikleo.
Mikleo didn’t know if this was even real.
Maybe he had been hit by a car on his way here and this was all a dream. That would be more believable than all this.
The faint sound of Rose’s voice near made Mikleo get out from his own thoughts. It also made him realize that if he stayed around much longer Rose would probably come for him and demand more explanations from him.
Mikleo didn’t think talking about the Celestial Record would help him again this time.
So he slipped out of the auditorium the same way he had slipped in. And as he did so, he realized his heart hadn’t stopped beating like crazy for the entire time Sorey had been in front of him. His presence had been as soothing as his voice, but that only seemed to work with Mikleo’s mind, not with his body.
Blushing as he made his way back home, Mikleo was glad his stupid mistake had made meeting Sorey possible.
He was kind of sad it would never happen again, though.