Chapter Text
Imagine a place beyond time and space. Now imagine the beings calling this place home. They don’t have names, are ageless, genderless, bodyless.
Existing outside the confinements of time is no escape from boredom though.
"I’m bored. What are you doing?“
"Nothing and I’d like to keep it that way.“
"It’s impossible to do nothing.“
"…. I’m thinking, then.“
"Okay, what are you thinking about?“
"Multiple universes.“
"Woah.“
"… about if there are any where you let me have a moment of peace.“
"Not a chance.“
"Thought so.“
Wanna have a look?
They really have to find new gas masks. After almost five years of constant use and no toothbrushes there‘s no denying: they stink. Bad. He dreads putting them on every time they get a job in spore infested areas but since those pay the most, they usually accept, it’s not much of a choice, antibiotics aren’t cheap and the badly stitched together skin where Nicholas‘ left arm ends below the elbow gets infected easily.
They’re currently in a basement outside Cape Town QZ, somewhere between Observatory and Pinelands. Flying spores make it hard to see in addition to the gasmasks fogging up all the time. He follows Euijoo‘s backpack, it’s dirty and sun-bleached by now but the cartoon character print is still visible. The faded fireball with a face leads Nicholas safely through the dark, beelines for a cabinet in the corner where Euijoo has found what he was looking for. They don’t talk in places like this, after years of working as a duo they understand each other without words. Nicholas keeps watch, knife ready in case infected come by.
They make the rounds through the QZ, deliver cargo and use the payment to get something to eat, probably sorghum, maybe leftover tortoise stew. Euijoo is the one carrying their food stamps, so Nicholas has to ask:
„Can I get one more? I need something to trade.“
Euijoo’s eyes immediately flicker to the cloth covering Nicholas‘ arm. The skin between his sleeve and the makeshift bandages gives of an unhealthy reddish shine.
„Let me see“, Euijoo demands.
„It’s not that bad. I just need fresh fabric and alcohol to clean it.“
Later, he finds Nicholas in their shared room, the new bandage unravels for the tenth time and he curses.
Euijoo doesn’t mention the swelling, how hot the skin feels and how tight it stretches along the stitches. But he does pause for a moment when he notices the red stripes climbing up the inside of Nicholas‘ biceps, they both stare, as if that could convince the sepsis to disappear. Nicholas looks down, he knows Euijoo watches him while taking the cloth from his shaking hand, gently dabs alcohol around the wound, then covers it.
***
It’s a miracle he survived the bite in the first place. Stories about desperate amputations usually end in the person turning anyway or dying of blood loss. It happened three years after the outbreak, during a supply run to Cavendish Square. Unnecessarily risky in hindsight, but Euijoo‘s birthday was in a few days and Nicholas hoped to find a present on the way. They thought the cashier slumped on the counter was long dead. They were wrong.
Nicholas knew he was bitten the second Euijoo put his knife through the infected’s rotting brain. Two rows of teeth marks bloomed on his wrist.
„It bit me“, he simply said, no time for denial or big words.
Euijoo was still busy yanking the knife back out of the skull, they couldn’t afford to leave it.
„You heard me Juju, you need to get out of here. Right now. Don’t fight me on this!“
He hoped Euijoo would just go and grant him the dignity to cry and die alone. In order to keep the tears at bay, Nicholas forced a grin. Euijoo saw it and wasted no time on denial either.
He grabbed his arm, mindful not to touch the bite.
„Give me that and shut up.“
Before Nicholas could protest, the handle of a flashlight was shoved between his teeth.
„Bite down.“
Nicholas was so taken aback that he complied, he’d expected anger, shock, followed by a quick goodbye. Not this. Euijoo placed the arm on the counter, next to the dead infected and retrieved the axe they sometimes used to break down doors of abandoned houses.
As fast as Nicholas had been to accept the bite along with its deadly consequences, it took him too long to realize what Euijoo was about to do. He felt stupid with the flashlight stopping him from asking what the hell was going on, when Euijoo grabbed his face.
„I’m cutting it off. I’m very sorry but that’s the only option, because there’s no fucking way I’m leaving here without you.“
Looking back, Nicholas wants to say he took it like a champ, that he dug his teeth into the metal of the flashlight and held still. The truth is that he cried and begged and screamed and pissed his pants.
Euijoo had pinned his arm down with all of his bodyweight, which wasn’t much, and with one last sorry, raised the axe to slam it down as hard as he could. Only three chops had been needed to separate the forearm completely. Nicholas had lost consciousness after the second one.
By some miracle they made it back to Cape Town QZ, Euijoo half carried, half dragged him all the way there. How he hadn’t bled out was beyond them, when questioned about it later, Euijoo admitted he’d remembered those medical dramas he used to watch before the outbreak.
"I made a tourniquet out of my shirt and a pipe I found“, he said, a little proud of himself.
It actually worked. The virus hadn’t spread into his bloodstream. Just to be completely sure Euijoo tied Nicholas to the bed for the rest of the week, in case the infection was just delayed. Now, years later, he is yet to turn. People avoid him since then, afraid that one day it will catch up, but most have accepted he got lucky.
***
They talk about it sometimes. Nicholas asks Euijoo if he considered leaving or killing him back then. He won‘t be mad, he assures him, if the roles had been reversed he‘d definitely have thought about it. Euijoo looks up at the night sky, clear and filled with stars, now that light pollution is a thing of the past.
„Of course, I thought about it. The whole time through. In the same way I think about life before all this sometimes, like, I‘d love to see my parents again or have a full meal or take a shower. But it’s just not possible.“