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It had started, as it always did, with an argument. Remus had been distant of late, always rushing off to the library and leaving the other marauders to their own devices. When asked, he would always say:
“Pads, I already told you, I need to study.” Not even his head would lift from the page he was on, and he would continue scribbling, leaving Sirius standing there like an idiot.
If Sirius was honest with himself, he had felt the empty gap left behind by Remus too acutely. It wasn’t just the biting sarcastic comebacks to James’ ludicrous ideas, or the looks they would shoot each other when Peter struck up a random swotty conversation about wizard chess with another student. It was how Remus would always be willing to let Sirius rest his head on his shoulder, pat him on the head like he understood Sirius’ inane complaints, or or even just the warm, comforting presence of having him in the room. It felt different without Remus around. So this time, it prompted Sirius to reply:
“C’mon Moony, it’s just the OWLs, and that’s not even until the new year.” His voice was deliberately flippant. Surely, surely, Remus would rather spend time with him, right?
“Just the OWLs?” scoffed Remus, finally looking up at him. “Maybe to you.” He was angry. Sirius could tell by the way his jaw tightened. Sirius wasn’t backing down, though, he didn’t want to this time.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he uttered in a low, dangerous voice, eyes holding Remus’, a challenge in his gaze.
At first, neither of them spoke. Then, Remus sighed and set his quill down, breaking Sirius’ stare. He looked deep in thought for a moment, before saying in a measured tone, “It means that in 3 years’ time, when you’re done with Hogwarts, you can go be whatever you want to be. While I will always be a werewolf.”
Sirius was never without a snide comeback in any argument, but even he couldn’t fight the truth. Indeed, Remus would likely have trouble with employment once he left Hogwarts, troubles that wouldn’t apply to Sirius. There Sirius stood, feeling stupider than ever, looking down at his feet.
“Sorry Moony, that was very thoughtless of me,” he finally muttered before looking up to find that Remus’ attention was still on him.
“That’s alright,” Remus said, a small smile forming on his face, “just help me with this transfiguration essay will you?”
Sirius knew an olive branch when he saw one, so he gladly took the seat beside Remus and leaned over to look at what he had written so far. Their heads were so close that their cheeks were almost touching, and Sirius felt right at home.
By the next week, they were completely fine. Sirius had bought Remus his favourite treat, chocolate frogs, on one of the Hogsmeade weekends and charmed the house elves for a batch of Earl Grey tea leaves. Remus had taken them gratefully, and hoarded them like dragon’s eggs in his bed. He even promised Sirius, after much begging, a lot of pouting and puppy-dog eyeing, that he would join them for their next excursion.
They were in their fifth year now, and it was worse than ever. Every waking moment, Remus seemed to be either in the library or in classes. Sirius was sure that, if not for his freakishly ravenous appetite, he wouldn’t even have eaten in the Great Hall.
Sirius had said to Remus, gently, “Moony, I think you need to go outside for a bit.”
His reply: “I just need to finish revising this chapter on hex breaking.”
It would go on like that for a while, and Remus would not join them on their trips out again. There were no indications of that changing, not until OWLs were done. Sirius, undeterred, decided that if Remus wasn’t going to rest, he would make him. So, armed with the knowledge of his friend’s every like and dislike, he decided to make some pointed improvements to Remus’ time in the library.
First, he moved the one chair that he knew Remus liked sitting in most, from the secluded dark spot, to the corner of the library — the one next to the windows, so he could at least look outside and rest his eyes from time to time. And so that he could tell when the sun had set and he should be heading to bed. Remus grumbled at first, whinging to his fellow marauders that some idiot moved his chair but that he didn’t want to waste precious studying time moving it back. So there he sat, and continued to do so. Even seeming pleased to be there after some time. Then, to make sure that the seat stayed unoccupied, Sirius had casted a rather complicated spell so that it would feel quite hard and uncomfortable to anyone who weren’t the marauders. It would grow harder and harder till it felt like they were sitting on spikes that gradually dug into their skin. It wasn’t too difficult, he just had to make some tweaks to that prank spell they crafted in their third year.
That wasn’t enough, of course. Not that Sirius wanted to take a closer look at why he felt the need to pander to Remus’ every need. He worried for his meals and for his comfort. Worried for his eyes and for his hands. He told himself that he was just being a good friend. Isn’t it normal for friends to care for each other? The fact that neither James nor Peter felt the need to do anything like that didn’t bother him. They weren’t as good of a friend as he is. They didn’t know Moony like he did.
The room Sirius entered was one that he was slowly getting acquainted with. It was nearing dinner time, so the kitchen was bustling with activity: house elves chattering amongst themselves amidst the clinks and clangs of various pots and pans. The nutty smell of caramelised butter and brown sugar clung to the air. As Sirius rushed past, most of the elves kept to what they were doing, used to his presence by now, but some of them greeted him with a cheery, “Master Sirius!” He went past the ones kneading dough for butter rolls, and further still found the ones basting chicken, yet he went deeper till he found what he was looking for.
There she was, Wenny, the house elf in charge of pudding. It was chocolate chip cookies tonight, and they were making it the way his Moony liked it: with cocoa powder in the dough and 3 types of chocolate chips. He had asked Wenny for the dessert schedule just a few days ago, right after he bugged her for the best way to make Earl Grey tea, and she had readily offered up the information, happy to provide what he wanted.
“Hi, Wenny, how’s it going?” he piped up right when he arrived. Her hair was slightly frazzled and dusted with a little cocoa and flour mix.
“Oh Master Sirius, Wenny can’t talk right now, Wenny needs to put these into the oven and then Wenny needs to start on another batch of these. Oh, oh. And Wenny needs to take those out of the oven.”
Sirius had been hoping for that, it would be a great excuse to learn how to make these cookies and conveniently make a large batch of extras at the end of it.
“That sounds like a lot. Why don’t I give you a hand?”
“Oh no, Master Sirius. That cannot do, Wenny must finish these tasks on her own, otherwise Wenny will be a bad elf!”
“But Wenny, I want to help you. I want to learn how to make these cookies, so really, you’re doing me a favour.”
“Wenny cannot understand Master Sirius. First, Master Sirius asks Wenny all about Earl Grey tea, now Master Sirius wants to make cookies. But Master Sirius has a house elf, so why does Master Sirius need to know all these?” she rambled on as three trays of cookies floated out of the oven and onto the counter while another three trays with raw cookie dough, neatly portioned and arranged, flew into the oven. She then started to use a spatula, dislodging the cookies easily from the tray and onto a large cooling rack.
“Hmm. See, Wenny, if you have a very good friend who is practically torturing himself, wouldn’t you want to make sure he is at least a bit more comfortable?” Sirius said as he picked up a spare spatula and started mimicking her actions on the other tray.
“Wenny will save friend!” A warm, nutty aroma drifted from the oven. “Oh I shouldn’t be chatting with Master Sirius. Wenny has a lot to do and is now behind!” Wenny cried as she moved to the oven and rotated the cookie trays. He stilled for a moment, watching as she dashed around the kitchen, while the various ingredients tipped themselves into a mixing bowl and the next batch of cookie dough started to mix itself. He got the order down pat now: mix the dough, portion them out onto the trays, put them into the oven when the current batch is done baking, then take them out with a spatula and place them onto the cooling rack.
“Why do we have to use the spatula in the last step?” he asked.
“So the cookies don’t crumble, sometimes magic is not the best for everything.” Wenny replied, still bustling about.
The three trays of cookies in the oven now drifted onto the counter, but the next three trays were not ready yet and Wenny started muttering under her breath, “I need to put them on the cooling rack then I need to put the next ones into the oven. Oh but they should be going into the oven now!” She comically wrung her hands before starting on moving the cookies onto the rack. Sirius, hearing this, waved his wand and started separating the dough into cookie sized portions on the empty trays.
Wenny turned and gave him a grateful look before going back to transferring the fresh cookies onto the cooling rack. Very soon, they cleared the next batch of cookie dough and Sirius watched the ingredients pile up in the mixing bowl again. He didn’t realise it before, but Wenny was periodically sprinkling the chocolate chips in when the dough was smooth, while the mixing spoon stirred enthusiastically.
“So they’re more evenly spread,” she said, seeing him curiously eyeing her actions.
Three more batches of dough and countless more trays being emptied and filled again later, Sirius left the kitchen with a huge jar of triple chocolate chip cookies, and immediately placed them under a stasis spell. He headed to the library while everyone was at dinner, pulled out a plate he had already charmed to take cookies out of the jar every time it was empty for more than forty-five minutes, and placed that in Remus’ usual spot in the library. That should give Moony the sugar boost he needed.
That corner of the table had fully become Remus’ — he had not bothered clearing the quills and inks, even leaving his textbooks there now. Sirius tsked at the mess and straightened the papers, stacking the books on the left, where Remus usually placed them when he bothered to organise. Then he capped the ink bottle, threw out the dirty ink water and refilled it with his wand. Satisfied with his handiwork, he went down for dinner.
When he entered the Great Hall, Sirius didn’t notice the pair of eyes following him. He was almost an hour late.
In that time, Remus had not been able to take his attention off the entrance, constantly glancing up when he saw even a flicker of movement there. Was Sirius unwell? What was he doing being so late? Remus wished that he had the map, but it was likely with Sirius or one of the marauders these days to continue cataloguing. Maybe…he was with someone else. Remus’ brows furrowed at that thought, and his gaze fell. There were always multiple rumours surrounding Sirius and some girl or other, Remus wouldn’t be surprised if one of them turned out to be true.
Even deep in such distressing thoughts, Remus was the first to look up when a familiar head of curly hair came into view at the entrance. Sirius looked pleased with himself, and his cheeks were a little flushed, like he was doing some kind of strenuous activity. Maybe—
Remus shook his head, it wouldn’t be helpful to keep his mind on such thoughts, would it? He was finally here and he was well, that was all that mattered. He beamed at Sirius, determined not to let his earlier imaginative foray affect how he treated his friend.
“Where were you? It’s not like you to be so late for dinner,” Remus asked once Sirius was in hearing range.
“Yeah! Have you been cheating on me with someone else? Someone…special?” James retorted, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Peter started chuckling away and almost choked on his orange juice.
Remus’ smile faded. He didn’t notice the laughter fade away when Sirius noticed the look on his face and glared at the two of them.
“Not at all,” Sirius shot back as he settled down next to Remus. “As you know, I only have eyes for Moony, right Moony?” He said as he grabbed a piece of Yorkshire pudding off Remus’ plate, dipped it in gravy and popped it into his mouth. Remus merely laughed and shook his head.
When dinner was done and they retreated back to the common room, Sirius snuggled up to Remus on the couch, resting his head on Remus’ shoulder.
“I’m so sleepy, Moony. You’re so comfortable, I missed you,” he mumbled sleepily before closing his eyes.
Remus smiled, content to be Sirius’ pillow for a bit. He laid his head on Sirius’, breathing in his scent. The smell of flour and chocolate was mixed in with Sirius’ usual shampoo. He didn’t think much of it and whispered back, “I missed you, too.”
The next day, in the library, when he saw the plate of his favourite cookies on his chosen table, he realised what Sirius had been up to, and how silly he had been with his wayward thoughts.
It was yet another weekend, but this one was far from mundane. A week ago, Sirius had enquired about buying some Earl Grey tea leaves, specifically ones blended with lapsang souchong, at Dogweed and Deathcap. Juniper, the shopkeeper, found it a highly unusual request. Usually, wizards order such tea from specialty tea shops in other villages and get their owls to bring it to them. Sirius did not know of any such tea shops, so he begged and used all his considerable charm on Juniper. Eventually, he wore her down and she agreed to help him with it. On Thursday evening, he received an owl telling him that his order had arrived and to please collect it by the weekend.
It had been a few weeks since Sirius had brought the cookies to the library, and they had been topped up once more with a trip to the kitchen. That time, Wenny readily read into his intentions and handed him a huge jar of cookies without another word before shooing him out of there. Every time he thought about those cookies, he couldn’t help but feel that a nice warm cup of Earl Grey tea would be perfect with them. Remus had once told him that his mother loved the fragrance, so she made it often, and when he drank it, it reminded him of her. Sirius knew that the Earl Grey in Hogwarts wasn't as fragrant or smokey as Remus would like it to be, so he was rather excited about buying the new fancy one.
However, he still hadn’t thought of how to serve it. Sirius had been in a real conundrum about this one for weeks. It was not like he could have a huge batch made like the cookies, tea is better brewed fresh. He wracked his brains and experimented, but nothing came of it. Then, he saw a picture of a chemistry kit during Muggle Studies and had a brilliant idea.
So, he was on a mission this weekend. Remus, as usual, decided to hole up in the library and finish up an essay that was due in 2 weeks. “I just want to get it out of the way,” he had said. This time, Sirius was glad for it.
Once out of Hogwarts, he scuttled in the opposite direction of James and Peter.
“Hey! Where are you going? I thought we were going to Three Broomst…” The rest of what James was shouting was lost to the wind as Sirius traveled further and further from them. He didn’t want to bother explaining, much less deal with their questions.
First, Sirius popped into Ceridwen’s Cauldrons for some small cauldrons, glass tubes and a magical stove. Then, he went into Dogweed and Deathcap for the promised tea. The price was steep – 10 Galleons for 100 grams of it. But it had the sweet smell of infused bergamot and the smoky scent of lapsang souchong which he was sure Remus would love, so he happily coughed up the coins.
Goods in hand, he rushed back to their bedroom and set out to build a little automatic tea brewing contraption. It had required some sleepless hours, poring through cooking spell books, and some additional work figuring out how to get the water into the cauldrons. Only a few days ago had he sorted out the spells he needed. A few additional components stolen from the kitchen, and some complicated spellwork later, it was done. The tea would brew when Remus sat on his chair for about thirty minutes, and the cup he placed on the spot would fill with tea, and the perfect blend of milk and sugar.
That had taken a few hours, so the boys were due back any moment. Sirius whirled around the room, trying to find a place for the contraption. His gaze landed on his trunk. That was the best place for it, he supposed. He pulled everything out of the trunk, piled it up onto his bed and placed the whole thing inside. He would just have to live with this until next week when he could go out to Hogsmeade for one of those bottomless ones.
Remus entered the room after a full day of studying — eyelids drooping, head heavy, steps dragging. It had been a full day of stuffing his brain with various lock breaking spells, and catching up on all his assignments. Yawning and stretching, he called out a greeting to Peter and James who were whispering on James’ bed. For the past few nights, Sirius had been out doing Merlin knows what in the evenings, and today was no exception.
“What’re y’all up to?” Remus mumbled while stifling yet another yawn. Then, he walked over and slumped down onto James’ bed, covering his eyes with his forearm.
“Hey Remus, we were just talking about Sirius.” Peter answered in his small, squeaky voice.
That piqued his interest. “Oh, what about him?” Remus responded, turning his head now to look at the both of them.
Peter gave James a nudge, and the two exchanged looks before James said, “He’s just been a little odd lately is all. Like, look! He’s been leaving his clothes out. And there’s been some…strange noises coming from his trunk.”
Remus didn’t notice before, but now that it’d been brought to his attention, he took a closer look around the room and realised that Sirius’ clothes were piled up everywhere. On the chairs, on the table, and at the foot of his bed.
“We were just concerned that he might be keeping a strange creature. Like, remember what people were saying about Hagrid?” Peter piped up.
“Yeah… And we were wondering if you knew anything about this?” James asked, his voice terse and careful.
Remus had basically been stuck in the library since the start of the year, so he was clearly out of the loop on anything besides academics. But it was clearly a problem if James had to ask him about it, Sirius and him were basically stuck at the hip. Remus sat up, and tried to recall if anything like that had been mentioned. Well, there had been a recent welfare addition to his little study corner. A cup of freshly brewed Earl Grey tea, with milk and sugar added to his liking, would always end up on his desk when he’d been there for more than a half hour or so. Maybe that had something to do with this? Though Sirius probably didn’t want them to know if he hadn’t told James.
He shook his head no as both his friends stared at him expectantly. “I’ll talk to him about it. Though, I’m sure it’s nothing,” Remus quickly added.
They both exchanged another look. Then, James looked at him and said, “Honestly, I was thinking of breaking into the trunk, but you know how he is with his things…”
“Yeah,” Remus said. “Prolly not a good idea. I’ll talk to him, don’t worry.”
That night, when everyone was asleep, Remus silently stalked to the trunk. He tried opening it, but, of course, it was locked. Putting his recently revised knowledge to good use, he unlocked it after a few tries. Immediately, the smell of bergamot hit him. Peering in, he saw a strange contraption of small cauldrons, tubes and glass jars. Suppressing his laughter, he closed the trunk carefully and replaced the locking spell, adding a silencing spell on top of it. Then, he tidied up the clothes strewn around the room and placed them in his own trunk. He had plenty of room for more.
All done, he quietly stepped towards Sirius’ bed. Sirius had, as usual, kicked his sheets so they were pooled at his feet, while he was curled up on his side, arms hugged tightly to his body. Remus gently pulled the sheets out and tucked them around Sirius, who relaxed instantaneously. He smoothed the hair away from Sirius’ face and stared for a moment, contemplating if he should give in to the urge to kiss his forehead.
He did give in when Sirius grabbed his arm and mumbled something incoherent before turning to lie on his back.
He cupped Sirius’ cheek with his free hand, gave his forehead a peck and whispered, “Goodnight, Pads.” Then, he gently pried Sirius’ grip from his arm and went back to bed.
A strange room had appeared. Sirius was deep in thought on how he could solve another problem when it happened.
Winter had arrived and the spots closer to the windows in the library were a little frostier. Sometimes, a draft would blow in. He had noticed Remus shivering in the library the other day. Even though Sirius tried to fix the gaps in the windows, it would still happen. Remus’ teeth would be chattering and he would be huddled into himself when he got back to the common room. He would then take a couple of minutes to defrost next to the fireplace. James and Peter had suggested that he move seats, but he didn’t want to.
Sirius was figuring out a way to make Remus a warm and comfortable throw when the door appeared. Curious, he opened it and found shelves of yarn with knitting and crocheting needles, along with spell books on how to make whatever one wanted with them. It was like the castle was listening to his thoughts!
“Thank you,” he whispered, before surveying the shelves and touching the various yarns available. None of them seemed to satisfy his needs. They were either not soft enough or not warm enough. Only the best for Moony, of course.
The next day, they were due for yet another weekend trip to Hogsmeade, and Sirius headed straight for the crafts shop. James and Peter, used to his shenanigans by now, didn’t even bother calling after him anymore.
Sirius had never been in Stitches and Draughts before, but had occasionally seen people walk out of it, arms laden with cloth or yarn. A bell rang when he pushed it open.
“Hiya, what can I do for ya?” the shopkeeper, dressed in a cosy looking, colourful jumper greeted him.
Sirius quickly got down to business. “I’m looking for some yarn, to make a throw blanket. Something that would be warm enough for this weather.”
“Right this way then,” they said as they guided him warmly to the back of the shop.
“Here, everything in this row should fit your needs,” the shopkeeper said, gesturing to a floor to ceiling wall of yarn. It was truly a tremendous collection.
Sirius surveyed the lot before asking, “What would you recommend for something soft and warm?”
They pulled out a soft looking yarn in grey and held it out to Sirius, “This is Chimaera yarn, and it’s amazing for all weathers. It actually becomes quite cooling in the summer as well. Chimaeras are quite adaptable, after all. Here, have a touch.”
Sirius felt it, and immediately knew it was perfect. He took it from them and rubbed it against his cheek, it was so soft and cosy. The shopkeeper started rambling on, delighted that their recommendation was spot on, “This is from the goat part of their body, and it gets super long so they have to shear it off. Quite dangerous work, but most trainers are happy to do it, it pays quite a bit actually. It’s why the yarn is quite pricey…”
“I’ll take it then!” Sirius said cheerfully.
“Good choice!” they said before gathering a good amount of it from the wall, bringing it to the counter and ringing up. It was even more expensive than the fancy tea, about 20 galleons worth of yarn this time, almost all of Sirius’ remaining savings, but he paid without a second thought.
“Bye, thank you,”Sirius called out as he headed to the exit.
“You’re welcome back anytime!” they replied, and waved goodbye.
Sirius hurried back to the castle, where his excellent memory brought him straight to the mysterious room. He pored through the books, found the perfect knitting spell and set the needles to work. Not too long later, a warm and cosy throw blanket materialised. As usual, it was back to the library. Surprisingly, Remus’ seat was empty, and the table was, once again, a sort of controlled chaos. He draped the throw over Remus’ usual seat carefully, certain that his anti-theft spell would ensure that it went nowhere. Then, he did his usual tidying before heading back to the Gryffindor common room.
Peter and James were already back, playing chess by the fireplace, and they looked up when he walked in.
“Mate, where did you go? We were waiting for you at the Three Broomsticks,” James called out.
“Oh, sorry, I lost track of time and just decided to head back,” Sirius answered sheepishly.
“You’ve been disappearing a lot lately. Everything alright?”
“Yeah, everything’s perfect.” He even flashed James a smile for good measure, but James didn’t look too convinced. He didn’t try to push the matter any further, though.
Sirius stretched himself out on the couch and watched their game. The warmth of the fireplace was making him feel drowsy, and soon his eyelids started to droop.
“Hey.”
Sirius sat up, alert again when he heard Remus’ voice. “Hey, how was studying?” he immediately asked.
“It went well,” Remus landed unceremoniously on the couch. “Kinda funny, cause…remember the tea and the biscuits I told you guys about the other day?”
“Yeah, they still there?” Peter asked.
“Yeah, there would always be a plate and a cup waiting for me. I just kinda got used to it. But today, a throw blanket appeared. I went to the greenhouse to check on some mandrakes and when I got back, it was on my chair.”
“Sounds like someone has a secret admirer,” James said, waggling his eyebrows at Remus.
Sirius looked away as his face heated up. “Well, maybe the castle was listening and made someone drop it there. You did whine about it being too cold the other day,” he piped up.
“Yeah, maybe.” Remus said before eyeing Sirius curiously. Then, he shrugged and rested his head on Sirius’ shoulder, closing his eyes. “I can’t wait for OWLs to be over. It’s so stressful.”
Sirius patted his head, “Poor Moony. Well, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“I hope so,” Remus replied, curling into Sirius, who shifted and put an arm around him. The two sat, snuggling in this comfortable silence until the embers went out.
They were thick into OWLs season now, and not even Sirius Black could bat away the looming need to study, especially not when James and Peter had also decided to huddle up in the library with Remus. After the umpteenth read of his transfiguration notes, and practicing turning various objects worn or held by other students around them into other things (much to the chagrin of the aforementioned students), Sirius was yawning and slouching in his chair, idly scratching a niggling itch on his scalp with his wand.
He stretched his arms over his head and got up, walking towards the windows, needing to see something other than the interior of the library and words right now. The sun was making its first dip into the horizon, on its way to retire for the day. Its glow bathed the trees, the pathways and the grass warm orange. Some of the students lounging on the lawn looked up, faces beaming with the freedom of an exam-less near future. While others scarcely noticed, more preoccupied with their journey to their next destination.
Sirius recalled a time when the four of them would be like the loungers, plotting their next prank through dusk, the smell of grass accompanying them. Remus would always take a moment to look at the sky as it painted itself pink, blue and orange.
The memory prompted Sirius to rush towards him, knowing that the sight would surely delight Remus. Even in his haste, he could not help noticing that the setting sun had turned part of Remus’ hair golden. There he sat, elbow resting on the library table, cheek in hand, still revising despite the long hours of studying. But his lids were surely heavier than they were at the start of the day.
Sirius watched for a few seconds, unable to move an inch, yet his brain screamed for him to go over and touch the hair that looked like gold-spun silk, or tenderly pry the quill from his hands and massage the calluses that Remus would surely complain about later.
Sirius did none of that, but he did the next best thing, for he had spotted the familiar blonde curls of Marlene McKinnon, who he knew had been massively guilt-tripped into helping with taking photos for the yearbook. He practically apparated with the speed of his short sprint, before grabbing her shoulder.
“McKinnon!” he gasped, looking down at her arms for what he was hoping for. “Great, you’re still carrying that thing around. Let me borrow it for a second?”
“Wha–“ before she even finished her word, he had grabbed the camera out of her hands and spun back around to see Remus’ head positively about to fall onto his parchment at any second. He had fallen asleep!
Now was as good a time as any. Sirius looked through the viewfinder, turned the focus ring and pressed the trigger, capturing it all. A moment he was sure he would want to remember.
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