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Kun stands in front of the large wooden door for a while before knocking.
Invading his space feels wrong, like he thinks too highly of himself, but when he finally gathers the courage to come inside, Earn just smiles and lazily sits up on the bed.
"I just wanted to see how you are. You seemed tired today," he fidgets in the doorway for a second.
The room is small. Kun has only been here a couple of times before, and he hungrily takes in every detail, imagining how Earn fits into this space - what he does, what he has.
Earn blinks a few times and then pats the space next to him. Kun has no choice but to go sit down; he's a dog for him after all.
When he does, Earn lays his head on his shoulder, and Kun's body moves on its own to sniff his hair. It doesn't smell like anything other than hair, yet he fights to suppress a shudder.
"I am tired," says Earn after a while. "More mentally than physically, I think."
Kun laces their fingers together on his lap and starts drawing circles with his thumb.
Every time he's with Earn, he feels like he's forgetting his place here, on the temple grounds. The fact that Earn never stops him just makes it all worse.
"I'm sorry. I wish I could make it easier for you."
"You do. Of course you do," immediately says Earn and lifts his head to look at him.
His eyes sparkle in the dark, and the plush upper lip looks wet for some reason. Kun wants to sink his teeth into it. He knows he can't; it doesn't make it any less desirable. To cross this few inches between their faces.
He snaps out of it a few seconds later and moves back.
Earn sighs at that. "You'll come tomorrow, right?"
"Mhm, I'll always be there, hia." Kun detaches himself from Earn's side. The contradiction doesn't escape his attention.
Earn finds him again after practice near the temple's exit. Grabs him by the wrist, pulling back. Startled, Kun stares at the way his finger pads press into the skin.
"Sorry," Earn snaps his hand back. "Do you want to go out to eat?" His breathing is ragged, and the hair falls cutely in front of his doe eyes.
Kun is exhausted. His legs are sore from jumping; his arms are burning from carrying the lion head.
It all becomes secondary in a blink, so they end up by a street stall just like his mother's. Earn suggested it at first, but Kun always allowed himself just this one selfish act of not sharing him with anyone else.
Now he doesn't want them to perceive the man either. It's a blessing to see him so at ease for once. A tiny piece of leek is stuck on the corner of his lips, and Kun feels like he's going crazy when his entire mind is taken over by the vision of licking it off. Dragging his tongue lewdly across Earn's cheek, sucking on his lips and mixing their saliva together. He shakes his head to get rid of the thoughts and smiles at how unsuspecting Earn keeps talking so easily.
The way back becomes harder with every step. He remembers the way Earn's hands held onto his thighs today, the way he held him by the waist when he lost balance. Each memory is as if it added weight onto his shoulders, and he finds himself dragging behind in the narrow alleyway.
Earn stops at the corner and turns around, waiting for him.
"Your house is that way."
Kun nods.
"See you tomorrow then?"
Kun's eyes fall to the triangle of his bare chest, and he subconsciously raises his hands to button up Earn's shirt.
It's weird. He knows he's acting weird, yet Earn isn't saying anything, so he runs his hands down along the buttons. His forehead drops on Earn's shoulder, and he hears himself breathing heavily into the fabric.
An arm closes gently around his waist, pulling him in. Kun's arms are folded between their chests, but lower he feels his stomach and crotch pressed against Earn's, and it burns like hell.
This is far beyond what's allowed, but the sheer ridiculousness of what's going on makes his fingers slip under the man's shirt and trace the way from Earn's bellybutton to his pecs. The muscles contract under his touch.
It must be a dream, he thinks. It's not like it's the first time he imagines Earn doing things to him.
Then his own back hits the wall behind, and Earn finally forces him to look up, grabbing his chin. His eyes are dark as he leans in, and it makes Kun snap out of his trance right before their lips can connect. He looks away to avoid the kiss and slowly withdraws his hands.
Hearing Earn sigh again, Kun raises his eyes. Ashamed of acting so incoherently, he himself doesn't know what he wants.
Earn takes a step back and bites his lip. "Till tomorrow then," he nods eventually.
"I'm sorry," Kun says under his breath. It's hard to tell what Earn is thinking; he might be just too kind to tell him off.
"It's alright."
Nothing feels alright.
Unable to stand the awkwardness and the still-tight pull in his stomach, Kun slips from between the wall and him and heads away as fast as he can, too afraid to turn around.
Earn isn't looking at him that much anymore. He's as attentive and gentle as usual, but his eyes keep drifting. The guilt is eating Kun from the inside out.
When they're both still panting from exhaustion, he slides down on the floor next to Earn, who offers him his bottle of water. Taking a sip, Kun tries to recognize the taste of his mouth on the bottle's neck. Might be his only chance after that day.
"You're distracted."
"You sound like my dad," chuckles Earn. "It's the Nua Weha thing. But, you know, I'll figure it out." His voice sounds sad.
"I thought it was because of me," Kun says, staring at his hands. He can't bear to look at him.
There are a few beats of silence, and then Earn exhales resignedly. "I'm still just a man, Kun. I wish you knew that."
Kun can't agree. Regardless of the social status, no man has ever made him feel like that. "I do know," he nods and raises his eyes.
Earn's gaze is soft, and then he lifts his hand to tuck a strand of Kun's hair behind his ear.
There's no desire in Kun's heart to pull away anymore. It's stupid and decidedly unbecoming, but he turns his face to fit the cheek in Earn's large palm and places a kiss on the sweaty skin.
It's salty and warm.
For a better taste, he sucks in the meaty part beneath the thumb and pulls the skin with his teeth.
"You are like a dog sometimes," a breathy voice forces him to stop.
Earn doesn't kiss him then like Kun always expected him to do it - gently and slowly. It's desperate and violent how he forces his lips apart with his tongue and bites until there's a faint metallic taste in their mouths. Kun is pressed against the floor, Earn's strong body covering him fully while his hand is squeezing his thigh so hard there will probably be bruises in the shape of his fingers, as Kun always dreamed to be marked.
He hears himself whining into Earn's mouth, whose hands are already inside his pants, and if it wasn't for the distant sound of steps behind the wall, he would probably get fucked senseless right on this hardwood floor, but they jolt apart like a spring under pressure.
No one comes in, but when Kun looks at Earn wiping his lips with the back of his palm, he can't help but let out a giggle.
Earn yanks him inside after barely one knock on the door and immediately pushes him against the wall, covering his lips with his own. If Kun was able to think about anything other than the grip on his ass, it would truly make no sense how much has happened in just a few hours. He could never imagine that he would be wanted like this. He loved Earn more than anything, and the desire for his body always felt dirty, like it soiled the nature of his affection, but being touched and kissed like this somehow doesn't feel filthy at all.
He lets out a needy moan after a particularly harsh squeeze of his waist, and Earn covers his mouth with his hand, shushing him for that.
"There're people here," he whispers and nips on his earlobe. "You'll have to be quiet."
Before processing his words, he whimpers into his palm, and though he doesn't know if it's a punishment or just because but Earn bites his neck in response.
Kun grabs his hand then to speak. "I'll be quiet," he nods frantically. It's humiliating how desperate he sounds as he pushes Earn onto the bed and climbs on his lap, still sucking on his puffy upper lip.
He unbuttons his shirt, muttering pleas into his temple. Something about giving him his body. Kun's soul has been in his possession for a long time already.
The prurient talk leaves Earn a little stunned for the first time that night. Yet he obediently turns him around, ordering Kun to use the pillow to be quiet, and gets rid of the rest of his clothes. When the cold, wet fingers breach his hole, Kun forces himself to relax and focus on the warmth pressing him into the mattress. Every second then feels like a century. It's like Earn takes a sadistic pleasure in scissoring and stretching his insides while all he has left is to cry into the sheets and beg for him to hurry up.
After the millionth time it works. With a soft pat on his back, Earn asks him to get up on his knees. He's afraid he might be too weak for that now but braces on his elbows to give him what he wants.
Earn likes his waist, distantly notices Kun. The way his fingers glide across the curves and how he holds him as if enjoying the sight of his palms covering the small of his back.
Biting down on his lip, he lets Earn push his way inside, and after a few thrusts, the burn becomes pleasurable, spreading in sparkles all the way to his fingertips. The cruel slowness never ends however. The roll of Earn's hips is deliberately mocking, and it's shocking to Kun how he's able to fight the admittedly animalistic lust that he himself feels all over his body.
When Earn turns his head to kiss him clumsily on the lips, Kun cries into his mouth that he should help him because he can't do this for so long. His arms will give out, or worst of all, he won't be able to be quiet anymore.
"Needy puppy," Earn smiles, giving him one last kiss on his jaw and repositioning them onto the side. His arm comes around Kun's neck and covers his mouth tightly, for which he'll never be able to thank him properly, because as soon as Earn slides back inside, a loud whimper escapes his throat. He drops his head back onto Earn's shoulder, fully letting him use his body.
It takes just a few thrusts for him to tense up before coming with a shudder all over the sheets. He's drifting a little at that point, begging Earn to finally finish inside of him, and only comes back to his senses when a soft kiss is placed on his shoulder. Earn slips out of him, letting his come drip down Kun's thighs.
Kun gathers himself to turn around and is met with another soft peck on the corner of his lips.
"You alright?"
"Better than ever before," he touches Earn's face. Nothing in particular, he just wants to touch.
He prays he will be allowed that for a long time.