Chapter Text
A luscious pair of red LIPS appear. Sultry lounge music begins to play. LIPS look like they are about to begin singing. Suddenly, NEOPOLITAN dances onto the screen like she is Fred Astaire in ‘Singing in the Rain’. She stares at LIPS, and LIPS freeze before BOTH begin fighting very acrobatically. Pause action for NEOPOLITAN to produce a sign stating:
‘See Androids fight Yang and Blake!’
Combat resumes. NEOPOLITAN stabs LIPS with her cane-umbrella, they deflate like a balloon and blow off screen. After straightening her jacket, NEOPOLITAN produces another sign:
‘At the Late Night Science Fiction Double-Feature picture show.’
Camera fades out to a cross. Camera pans down to reveal the front of a church, which a wedding party is exiting. The young couple, RUBY ROSE and WEISS SCHNEE, are followed by a crowd of celebrants throwing confetti and shouting excitedly. Two photographers, VELVET SCARLATINA and COCO ADEL, stand near the church.
COCO
Here they come!
The photographers
wave, summoning the family together for a picture.
VELVET
...the parents… the aunts and uncles… yes, all the close family.
RUBY and WEISS pose on the steps along with their family, including RUBY’s father TAI, uncle QROW, and aunt RAVEN, as well as WEISS’s mother WILLOW, sister WINTER, and brother WHITLEY. Excitedly, RUBY bounces and waves to someone off-screen.
RUBY
Hey, YANG, hurry up and get in here!
YANG XIAO-LONG, a young and curvaceous blonde in a golden dress, hurries over to congratulate RUBY with a hug.
YANG
Heyas sis!
RUBY
I guess we really did it, huh?
YANG
No doubt about that! You and WEISS have been almost inseparable since you met in DOCTOR OZPIN’S refresher course.
RUBY
(giggles) Truthfully, that’s what I’m here in the first place!
WEISS
(flicks RUBY in forehead) Dolt!
The crowd begins cheering.
WEISS
Alright, this is it! Be ready!
RUBY
Hey YANG, she’s going to toss her bouquet!
WEISS tosses her bouquet. It is caught by BLAKE, a feline-eared faunus with a knee-length purple dress and long black hair. She squeals happily.
BLAKE
I’ve got it! I’ve got it!
RUBY
Well big sis, looks like you’re up next!
YANG
No complaints there, Rubes!
RUBY and WEISS are seen into a car and sent off on their honeymoon. YANG and BLAKE linger outside the church. A strange family is in the background. They resemble the old-fashioned family in ‘American Gothic’.
The MOTHER (ILIA AMITOLA) and FATHER (EMERALD SUSTRAI) stand outside the church door. Their DAUGHTER (NEOPOLITAN) goes inside. They and the MINISTER (CINDER FALL) all resemble characters we shall meet later at CINDER FALL’s manor.
YANG waves the last wave.
BLAKE (still holding the bouquet)
Wasn’t it gorgeous, Yang?
Weiss was radiant, and Ruby was so pretty!
I can’t believe an hour ago, WEISS was just ‘Weiss Schnee’
Now… now she’s Mrs. Weiss Rose!
YANG (still watching the retreating car)
Yeah, Rubes is one lucky girl!
They pass by the church graveyard, passing CORDOVA and MARIA, an older couple.
CORDOVA (snffling)
I always cry at weddings, I can’t help it.
YANG
I sure hope Weiss learns how to cook, RUBY loves to eat!
BLAKE
I know she’s been practicing.
YANG
And RUBY’s up for a promotion soon!
BLAKE
That’s fantastic news!
They stop in front of an old tree. With a deep breath, YANG turns quickly to BLAKE.
YANG
Hey, Blake?
BLAKE
...YANG?
YANG
I… I really admired how fast and nimble you were getting to the bride’s bouquet…
BLAKE (with a smile)
Just… say it, YANG
YANG
Okay then
(sings)
The river was deep but I swam it
EMERALD and ILIA (appearing from behind tombstones)
Blake – hey that doesn’t rhyme!
YANG
The future is ours so let’s plan it
EMERALD and ILIA
Blake – seriously?
YANG
So please don’t tell me to can it
EMERALD and ILIA
Blake
ILIA
Why couldn’t she have been named something like ‘Janet’?
YANG
I have one thing to say and that’s damnit, Blake, I love you!
BLAKE
(leans in to kiss her, but she backs away on to the church steps)
YANG (still singing)
The road was long but I ran it.
EMERALD and ILIA
Blake -
EMERALD
(throws hands in the air) I give up
YANG
There’s a fire in my heart and you fan it!
EMERALD and ILIA
Blake
YANG
If there’s one fool for you then I’m it.
EMERALD and ILIA
Blake
YANG
I’ve got one thing to say and that’s
(draws heart on church door)
CINDER
(unnoticed, cracks door open and messily erases heart)
YANG
Damnit, Blake, I love you!
BLAKE
(swooning) Oooh
YANG
(produces ring from pocket) Here’s a ring to prove that I’m no joker.
BLAKE
Oooh!
EMERALD and ILIA
(Enter the church doors arm in arm)
YANG
There’s three ways that love can grow…
BLAKE
Oh, oh, oh
YANG
That’s good,
BLAKE
Oh
YANG
Bad,
YANG moves to put the ring on BLAKE’s finger. She drops it.
YANG
…or mediocre?
BLAKE
(disappointed) Oh
YANG kneels to pick up the ring. BLAKE crouches beside her. YANG put the ring on her finger.
YANG
Oh BLAKE, I love you so.
BLAKE, staring transfixed at ring. Bursts into the church doors, followed by YANG
BLAKE (singing)
Oh! It’s even shinier than Weiss’s!
WEISS
(appears from side of screen) And what’s that supposed to mean? (disappears)
BLAKE
Now we’re engaged and I’m so glad
CINDER and NEO (who is playing a tambourine)
Oh Yang (dramatically swoons)
BLAKE
That you met my mom
And you’ve met my dad
CINDER and NEO
(even more dramatic) Oh Yang
BLAKE
I’ve one thing to say and that’s
(she takes YANG’s arm. It is a prosthetic and falls off)
YANG, I’m mad for you too,
She grabs ahold of YANG’s stump, and they walk down the aisle.
BLAKE
Oh YANG
YANG
Oh BLAKE
NEOPOLITAN
(mimes gagging)
BLAKE
I’m so mad
YANG
Oh BLAKE
BLAKE
For you!
BLAKE holds her ring up to YANG’s face and admires it.
YANG
I love you too-oo-oo
YANG and BLAKE
And there’s only one thing left to do-ah-ooh
In the backround, EMERALD, ILIA, NEOPOLITAN, and CINDER are manuvering a coffin into the church.
YANG
There’s only one thing left to do-ah-dooh
BLAKE
And that’s go see the man who began it
YANG
When we met in his science exam, it
BLAKE
Made me give you the eye and then panic
YANG
I’ve only one thing left to say, and that’s
Damnit, Blake, I love you!
BLAKE jumps into YANG’s arms and they spin around
BLAKE
Damnit, Yang, I love you too!
YANG and Blake sink to their knees, facing each other
YANG and BLAKE
I love youuuuu (they kiss)
Chapter 2
In a study or library
Mahogany bookcases and a large desk with an ornate globe of Remnant dominate this room. There is a well-padded armchair with its back towards the camera. It swings around, revealing SALEM. She is wearing a cleavage-revealing smoking robe and puffing on a pipe. She speaks directly to the audience.
SALEM (puff puff)
I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey.
She crosses to the bookshelf and selects a dossier from it. She opens it, revealing pictures of RUBY and WEISS’s wedding. She stops at a picture of YANG and BLAKE.
SALEM (puff puff puff)
It seemed like a fairly ordinary nigh when YANG and her fiancee BLAKE, two normal, healthy young women, left YANG’s sister RUBY’s wedding to visit a “Doctor” (she makes sarcastic air quotes) OZPIN…
She turns the page, revealing a photo of DOCTOR OZPIN in a wheelchair. There are dark lipstick stains on the photo. She coughs and hurriedly turns the page.
SALEM (with the top of the camera frame getting smokey)
...a former tutor and now friend to both of them
SALEM closes the dossier and places it on the desk.
SALEM (there is a constant stream of smoke coming from her pipe, and the camera view is quickly filling with smoke)
It’s true there were dark storm clouds, heavy, black, and pendulous
towards which they were driving,
It’s true also that the car’s spare tire was badly in need of some air.
Eh, they were only young once, and not going to let a storm
spoil their evening, on a night out.
(the camera view is completely obscured by smoke, until SALEM waves some away, appearing as a floating, disembodied head)
It was a night out they were going to remember for a very long time…
Driving through the dark woods at night. The windshield wiper was running as fast it could against the near-solid sheets of water. YANG is squinting at the window trying to see to drive, while BLAKE is immersed in her scroll.
(radio crackles) we hear Donald Trump’s obnoxious, grating voice
I have the biggliest, bestest brain!
No one has a bigglier, bester brain than me!
That’s why I’m making America great again…
A motorcycle passes the car.
Oops, I made a poopie in my pants
Should I eat it?
It looks like chocolate pudding!
YANG
(*rolls eyes in disgust*)
Ugh I hate him so much! Can’t he just, eat his own ass and die already?
BLAKE (looking up from scroll)
Hey YANG? That’s the third motorcycle that’s passed us? What could be going on up ahead that has so many motocyclists out riding in this weather?
YANG
I dunno. Maybe they’re getting launched off a bridge at the President?
BLAKE takes a bite of of something labeled “FISH BAR: It really satisfies!”
BLAKE
We can dream
The headlights catch on a sign announcing a Dead End.
YANG
What the fuck? We must’ve taken a wrong turn. I better turn around.
She rotates the steering wheel to turn around. Suddenly, there’s a violent motion. BLAKE lands face-down in her lap.
YANG
...are you sure now is a good time for that, honey? I think we just blew a tire
BLAKE (lifts her head and wipes off her lips)
Wasn’t there a castle by the side of the road a little ways back?
YANG
Yeah, I think there was! You stay in here where it’s warm and dry, I’ll go call for help.
BLAKE
Why don’t we just use our scrolls?
YANG
Well, that’s quite the plot hole in modernizing this, isn’t it? (shrug) Oh well, I best start walking
BLAKE
I’m going with youngest
YANG
Oh no darling, there’s no reason for us both to get wet
BLAKE
(awkward pause)
Really?
YANG
OK I kinda walked into that one
YANG and BLAKE both get out of the car and begin walking. Shortly, they reach a set of castle gates. A lightning bolt flashes, illuminating a sign that announces “ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK”
BLAKE
(walks forward and collides with tree branch, falls down. While down, she looks up and sees a lit window in the distance. As she slowly stands, she begins singing)
In the velvet darkness
VELVET appears on the side of the view, wearing a long black coat and with her back facing the audience)
BLAKE
Of the blackest night
Burning bright
There’s a guide star
No matter…
(there is a lightning flash as she takes YANG’s hand. VELVET flashes the camera before running offstage)
BLAKE
...what or who you are
(camera returns to the light in the distance)
YANG and BLAKE
There’s a light…
EMERALD and ILIA (offscreen)
Over at the Frankenstein placement
YANG
There’s a light
The light grows larger
EMERALD and ILIA
Burning in the fireplace
BLAKE
(raising YANG’s hand and kissing it)
There’s a light, a light, in the darkness of everybody’s life
YANG and BLAKE step sideways to make room for several motorcycles to pass. The camera zooms in on ILIA in the lighted window.
ILIA
Darkness must go down the rive of night’s dreaming
Flow morphia. Slow
Let the sun and light come
Streaming into my life
(Another flash of lightning)
ILIA
Into my life
The camera cuts back to SALEM’s room
SALEM
(leans forward in armchair)
And so it seemed that fortune
had smiled on YANG and BLAKE and that
they had found the assistance that their plight required-
Or had they?
YANG and BLAKE, wet and shivering, approach the castle door
BLAKE
Um, YANG, let’s go back. (she grabs her left arm with her right hand as her ears flatten)
I’m col and I’m frightened
YANG
Hold on, BLAKE. They might have a telephone
BLAKE
(waves her scroll)
WE have telephones!
YANG
(rings doorbell)
ILIA’s hand opens the door. Mumbled voices can be heard in the background, as if a party is going on. Camera shows all of ILIA.
ILIA
Hello
YANG
Hi, I’m YANG, this is my fiancee BLAKE. Do you have a phone we could borrow, our car broke down just up the road?
ILIA
You’re wet.
BLAKE
...yeah, it’s raining out here
ILIA
Yes
BLAKE
A lot!
ILLA
Yes
Outside, a flash of lightning illuminates a row of motorcycles parked by the castle
YANG
Hey why are all these bikes here?
ILIA
I think perhaps you better both come inside
BLAKE
You’re too kind
YANG and BLAKE enter, clearly nervous
The music and voices are noticeably louder
BLAKE
(to YANG) This must be a hunting lodge or something