Chapter Text
September 21st 2005, 21:43pm.
Tony Stark sat in his lab, surrounded by paper and wrenches, knee deep into the bonnet of a Bugatti Veyron when Jarvis broke him out of his daze. He wiped his oil covered hands across his lap, peeking his head out of the car.
“Sir, if I may interrupt?” The AI’s British accent was strong as it spoke and Tony waved his hand about, signalling for him to continue.
“It appears as so there has been a kidnapping in the area,” It starts. Tony’s face scrunches up in confusion. “Okay? What’s that gotta do with me J? Come on now, i programmed you better than to give me the local news.” He teases, scoffing. Just as he’s about to go back to what he was doing, Jarvis interrupts again.
“The kidnapping is of one Katelyn Sharp, and her daughter Nieve.” Now that name sounded familiar. Katelyn Sharp. Katelyn. Hm. Where did he know that from? A musician? An assistant? No, but someone famous. Wait, no he’s thinking of that one Caitlyn from the crime show. Jarvis cut him off before he could even ask.
“You met her at a conference in San Francisco, approximately 4 years and 11 months ago. Her daughter Nieve turns five in a weeks time.” Jarvis explains to him.
“Okay. So? I met this lady once five years ago. What does she want me to do, come save her like in some little Captain America comic?” He laughs, shaking his head. But he’s intrigued now, as always.
“Sir. It would appear you had,” The Ai pauses. “Intercourse with her on that conference trip. Now she has a little girl. It could merely be a coincidence…”
Ah. Shit. “Shit.” He says outloud, sighing. Suddenly the weight of his legs feel too heavy, the air in his lungs gone. Tony all but collapses into the nearest chair, burying his head into his hands. He’s a father? This has always been one of his worst nightmares. He’s not meant to be anybody’s dad, he can’t be. He can’t be. And now Jarvis is saying he could be? Wow, the worst dad award is being passed down from Howard Stark to him; family heirloom, everyone.
“How did you know about this?” He asks, looking upwards. Jarvis stays quiet for a moment, before a video materialises in front of him. He hesitates, looking at the thumbnail. It’s a man, maybe mid thirties, staring straight into the camera with a thunderous look. In the slither of the background he can make out two figures on the floor. He has no other option but to press play, does he?
“Tony Stark!” The man’s voice is deep, cunning; definitely giving mafia boss vibes. He grins, moving to the side. The people in the background come into view. “I have here some very, very, important people, no?” The man continues, his face going out of frame to zoom in.
The woman takes up most of the shot and, yep. That’s Katelyn alright. Tony remembers her as soon as he sees her. Remembers how he was drawn in by her witty personality, and her gorgeous looks were just a bonus really. Remembers how they spent the whole conference flirting with science facts, and then went out for ‘drinks’ after. They were back in his hotel room within the hour, and they’d spent the night and the whole next day going at each other like rabbits.And behind her, hidden by her, the little girl. Nieve. Her hair is a mimic of her mothers, eyes too. She hides, the duct tape over her mouth looking wholly out of place against her pale skin. Tony can’t focus on anything but her.
The man rambles on, wanting money, wanting company secrets. He’s clearly out to get Stark Industries, or at least be better than him. But nobody is better than Tony Stark. He doesn’t even have to ask for Jarvis to trace the origin of the video, before the coordinates are sent to his phone. It seems to be in a rundown part of Fort Lauderdale, a drive that can be done in under forty minutes.
“I’ve taken the liberty of informing the local authorities, Sir.” Jarvis says, and if Tony was more aware, he’d hear the slight soft tone his AI was using.
“Any solid proof she’s mine, J?” He asks, leaning back in his chair, playing with his hands. It wouldn’t be the first time an old hookup had said he was the father of their child and most likely won’t be the last, if he continues the way he does.The AI doesn’t respond, and once again, screens are pulled up in front of him. There’s pictures of him and Katelyn, no doubt caught by the paparazzi the night they had sex. There’s pictures from her pregnancy, from the birth. The birth certificate, the fathers name left blank. Nieve doesn’t even have his last name. There’s a paternity test, though. From 2003, when she was two. Tony distantly remembers a party in LA where he could have sworn he saw a familiar face, and he woke up the next morning with a familiar bruise on his arm, distinctly as if he’d had blood drawn. And it must have been her, must have been Katelyn, because there’s a paternity test right there on the screen saying Nieves' parents are Katelyn Sharp and Tony Stark.
“It appears Miss Sharp confided this information to her ex-boyfriend last year and I suspect he’s working for a rival company.” Jarvis informs him quietly. Tony lets out a huff of air, shaking his head. It’s insane, this is inane. He says so to his Ai. But in this line of work, it’s not unheard of, not really. Tony himself has had his fair share of kidnappings, especially when he was younger.
“The cops know? The ones going to the scene?” His voice is shaky as he asks, his chest tight with a feeling he hasn’t felt before. Like panic and sadness, all rolled into one.
“Yes.”
“That settles it then.” Tony says, standing up abruptly. He goes back over to his car, sleeves still rolled up, ready to lose himself in the familiar rhythm of engineering again. But Jarvis stops him.
“Sir. You should go.”
“What?” He swivels around, glaring up at the ceiling, specifically towards a camera he knows is in the corner of the room, hidden.
“You should go to Miss Sharp. I fear…” The Ai trails off. Tony scoffs, rolling his eyes; tilting his head towards the camera.
“Reports have come in that there’s been a death at the scene.”
Now that. That gets Tony moving.
Happy Hogan appears to have already been waiting for him upstairs, as he bursts out of the lab. He hasn’t even bothered to get changed, or even wipe the oil off his clothes nor face. But Happy doesn’t question it, he’s probably already been told by Jarvis what’s happening. He makes the forty minute drive into a twenty five minute drive, bless his soul.
22:15pm
There’s multiple police cars on the scene as well as ambulances and even a fire engine. Obviously the press is there, on the outskirts, held back by police and caution tape. Tony jumps out of the car, running up to the nearest officer.
“Hey, you!” He gets right up in the officers face, trying to get a good look past him and into the building.
“Uh, Mr Stark?” The officer seems confused, which is a given. Why would Tony Stark just randomly turn up to a crime scene, much less in a place he’s never even been seen before.
“The kid. Where’s the kid?” Tony’s voice is almost desperate, in a way. His body is rigid, shoulders tensed, ready for anything.
“The kid?” The officer repeats. He studies Tony’s face, before backing away a little bit, talking into his walkie. “Kids being looked for now. The, the mother. She didn’t make it, though.”
Tony’s heart sank, but didn’t drown. It was floating, just above the water, swallowing it but not choking on it. Nieve was okay. Katelyn was dead. Holy shit. The officer gives him a solemn look, murmurs a quiet ‘I'm sorry for your loss’, before walking away to deal with a crowd that was coming up close on their left. Tony stood there shell shocked, before frowning. He assessed his surroundings to make sure nobody was watching him before he slipped under the caution tape, shooting Happy a look behind him to the car. His security guard didn’t follow him.
The warehouse was dingy, something Tony’s rich life had never given him the privilege to experience up until now. The lights were flickering, barely even on, and the floor was filled with puddles and animal feceses. Disgusting. There was so many steps, so many corners, it felt like a maze. And just as he was starting to give up hope, wanting to leave it to the police, the ones who are meant to be down here, he heard it. Distinct sounds of conversation, down the stairs. He saw the blinding light, too.
He practically ran down the stairs, leading him into a small room. Two officers were crouched down, shielding a small figure from him as he comes to an abrupt stop.
“Hey, you can’t be down here!” The one closest to him exclaims, pulling a taser out. His partner slaps his leg, shaking her head. Realisation dawns on his face as he puts the weapon away, muttering an apology. Ah. So these officers must be the ones Jarvis had informed. The three of them are the only ones who know. Tony doesn’t really know what to do with that. So he just stands there, watching them both intensely with wide eyes; watching as the female officer coaxes Nieve into letting her untie the small girl, and then letting her gently remove the duct tape still settled around her mouth.
It’s at that moment Nieve looks over to him, her eyes as wide as his. Almost mimicking his expression entirely, the duct tape still covering half her face. Tony frowns, not knowing what to do, before giving her a small wave. It’s awkward. Too awkward.
The other officer, who introduces himself as officer Duncan, pulls him aside while the female officer, officer Jones, takes Nieve, wanting her to get checked by a medical examiner as soon as possible. Tony feels compelled to follow them, to keep his eyes on the child at all times, but he’s sort of in a state of shock; he feels officer Duncan can see that.
“Look,” The man starts, watching Tony. “This is going to be hard, Mr Stark. It’s going to be. And i truly am sorry for your loss, with Miss Sharp.” The officer pauses, waiting for any reaction. All Tony can do is keep staring at him, dazed. The man reaches out to him, handing him something. An envelope. At that moment, he doesn’t even care about his dislike for being handed things. He accepts it, albeit with shaky hands.
“She left it for you. We found it in her jacket pocket.”
Tony is led out of the warehouse by Duncan, the letter gripped tight into his hand. As soon as he’s out, back on the surface, his eyes search for Nieve. Something settles in his chest when he sees her in the back of an ambulance, officer Jones still at her side, surrounded by a blanket and a doctor whose hands look gentle. Duncan leaves him almost immediately, standing a distance away from the ambulance, coincidentally right by a bench. Tony plops himself down on it, considering the paper in his hand.
“No time like the present.” He mumbles to himself, before opening it.
Tony,
I want to start this letter with an apology. An apology for not telling you about Nieve. But really, can you blame me? Every piece of media about you is either about your weapons or your irresponsible partying, and I know I can't talk, but that isn’t the environment I wanted to raise my child in. Our child, because she is yours, Tony. I knew the moment the test read positive because I hadn't been with anyone but you. And i was stupid, i was so stupid Tony, to tell Jack. I inadvertently put myself and Nieve in danger, and I no doubt have dragged you into it as well if you’re reading this. This letter, they’re letting me write it, so, I've come to terms with the fact that I'm probably not going to make it out of here. But I'll be damn well disappointed if it turns out I don't and you don’t step up for that little girl. All she knows about you is stories I have told her, that you’re a very busy man with a very busy job, and you can’t always be her dad. But now more than ever, she needs you. I’m so sorry it’s come to this.
Yours Truly,
Katelyn Sharp.
Tony lets out a sharp breath, shaking his head. He looks to the sky, squeezing his eyes shut. He’s tempted to screw the letter into a ball, throw it into the bin and leave. Leave with Happy and drink and drink and drink until he forgot this ever even happened.
But he can’t, can he? He can’t, because there’s a little girl, his little girl staring at him from across the crime scene in the back of that ambulance. And if Katelyn had told her about him, surely, she must have put it together. Well, he shouldn’t give her that much credit, she’s only four. So, in an act of pure bravery, he stands. He stands on his shaky legs, runs a trembling hand through his hair and strides.
Officer Jones looks up when he approaches the vehicle, giving him a once over before nodding and she moves, making room for him. The little girl's checkup is done by now, the doctor further into the van, inspecting vials that are most likely her blood. Nieve is already watching him as he comes to a stop in front of her and if he didn’t know any better he’d think she was assessing him. He doesn’t have much experience with kids at all, zip, nada. The most he’s had is at red carpets, when somebody asks him to kiss their baby (which that in itself is a little bit odd), or when he himself was a child. But he didn’t fit in, didn’t get on well with the other kids, couldn’t tell you anything about how to be a kid. He crouched down a little, getting himself to her level.
“Hey,” He murmurs, keeping his voice low. He knows, or rather he hopes, it’s best not to spook kids. “Nieve, right?” He continues, tilting his head at her.
She mimics him. It’s kind of uncanny to watch, it’s like looking at himself. Her head tilts to match his, her face scrunched up a little, her eyes questioning.
“Who’re you? Mama says not to talk to strangers.” She’s got an accent, one from around Miami for sure, which means Katelyn kept close to where Tony’s known to live. It’s kind of heartwarming.
“Nieve, this is Tony,” Officer Jones cuts in for him, like she could tell he was at a loss for words, out of his depth. Nieve's eyes widen, before she looks over at Jones. She gets up on her knees, scooting over to whisper in the officer's ear. She gets a nod in return.
“You’re Tony. Mama's Tony.” She says quietly, a small frown on her face. Tony perks up at that, a little surprised.
“Uh yeah. Yeah, I guess. Your mum's Tony, sure. She tell you anything else about me?” He asks her, unsure.
“That you’re my dad.”
Ah. Well. Cats out the bag with that one.
“That’s right. You okay with that?” He asks her, watching her face.
The girl sits back down in her original spot, in front of him. Her legs swing back and forth on the edge of the ambulance, missing him by just an inch every time. She shrugs, looking down at his crouched form.
“You can’t change your parents. You’re stuck with them.” And wow, that’s a hefty sentence from a four year old.
“Yeah. Sure, kid. Great, uh, great analysis.” Tony responds, cringing slightly. Maybe this wasn’t so good of an idea.
But Nieve just smiles at him, a small, hesitant smile. And then she yawns, her small body seemingly slumping forward a little. It is late, got to be at least eleven at night by now. He panics a little, looking to officer Jones for help.
Jones steadies Nieve, letting her lay down in the mountain of blankets behind her in the ambulance and tells her to get some rest. As soon as the girl closes her eyes, Jones turns to him.
“So,” Jones starts, and before Tony can interrupt, she signals him not to. And Tony doesn't ever listen to authorities figures, but he feels like now would be a good time to.
“What do you plan to do, Mr Stark? Because legally, you’re now the sole provider and guardian of this little girl. She is your little girl. But if you feel this is too much, the responsibility is too big, she can go into the system. Nobody will know that you’re her father, it’s unmarked on the birth certificate.”
And isn’t that a thought. Tony wants to consider it, wants to think about going home alone and leaving Nieve behind to the system, giving them enough money to get her into a good home. But he can’t, and that surprises him more than anything. He can’t do it.
“I can’t do that,” He starts, shaking his head. He stands up from his crouched position and crosses his arms over his chest, staring at the officer. He can’t.
23:52pm
Tony carries the sleeping child on his shoulder up the driveway towards his Malibu estate, careful to keep her steady. He wasn’t even sure if he was holding her right. God, he didn’t even have anywhere for her to sleep. She’d have to sleep in his bed, or on the couch. No wait, he should sleep on the couch. He’s the adult here.
Asleep, Nieve looked peaceful. Yeah, there was still grime covering her, and that will definitely be an issue for tomorrow Tony, but her facial features looked peaceful. Tony laid her down on his king bed, making her look ridiculously small in the middle. The paramedic had let him keep one of the blankets, praise the lords, and so he wrapped her up in that. And then he rummaged around the cupboards in the hallway, finding some spare quilts and pillows, basically making a nest for the little girl and surrounding her.
He contemplated her as he stood at the end of the bed. God, what was he doing? He didn’t know next to anything about this child, her mother, her life; he didn’t even know anything about how to be a, well, a father. Because that’s what he is to her. Her father. Is this how his dad felt? No, no. His dad was around from the beginning. Maybe that was his downfall. He let out a sigh, flicking a bedside lamp on for her, the light framing her face. Leaving the bedroom door ajar, he made his way down to the lab, rather than the living room.
September 22nd, 7:13am
“…-ay. Sir. If i may, sir?” Tony stirred at the sound of Jarvis’s voice, his face cold. Well, half his face. He sat up from his position where he’d somehow fallen asleep, laid across his workbench. He let out a groan and stretched before scratching his face.
“Mr Stark.” Jarvis repeats.
“What, J?” His voice is irritated as he responds.
“Miss… Nieve is awake. And in slight distress.”
Holy shit he forgot about the kid upstairs. He briefly slapped his own face, waking himself up, before all but sprinting out of the lab, taking two steps at a time. This is gonna be a doozy to explain.
When he gets to his room the door is slightly ajar, just as he had left it. He hesitates, letting out a small sigh (or rather a shaky breath), before pushing it open fully, the light from the hallway illuminating the dark room. He can see the small figure turn to him from where she’s sat up against his pillows, and it’s only then he notices that she must have been crying before, since she’s gone quiet. Tony stands there awkwardly, hands fidgeting at his sides before he shakes himself, walking in.
“Uh. Hey.” He says, voice a little hoarse, as he comes to a stop next to her. She just stares up at him, blue eyes wide and full of tears. A strangled sound escapes his throat, before he sits down at the edge of the mattress, just out of her reach. He keeps his gaze on her, and she lets out a quiet sniffle.
“Where’s Mama?” Nieve murmurs into the silence, her voice small and quiet. Tony chokes on his own spit, spluttering slightly. She doesn’t know. God, she doesn’t know. How the fuck is he meant to explain to a four year old that her mum is dead?
“Uh. Well.” He starts, letting out a big breath. “Your mama, she,” He pauses, unsure how to word it. God, if only Jarvis could chime in right about now. “She went to heaven last night.” Is what he settled on. Surely the kid knows about heaven. Right?
She sniffles, rubbing her eyes, before answering, “Heaven? Like where shadow the fish went?” She questions. That must have been a pet that Katelyn had, or maybe another relative or a friend. But the kid knows death, at least. Knows what heaven is. Tony nods solemnly, doesn’t know how to answer her.
“So mama isn’t coming back?” Her voice wobbles, and Tony cringes.
“No kid, um, your mama isn’t coming back.” It’s harsh, but there’s no way he can sugarcoat it. He expects a meltdown, or crying, something, anything. But once again, like she’s mimicking him, she nods just exactly as he had. It’s kind of weird to see, how similar her movements are to his when she didn’t even know him a day ago. And it’s weird, how she just. She just accepts it, like that.
Jarvis then butts in, fucking finally, introducing himself to the small girl. She seems momentarily shocked before she politely introduces herself. Jarvis helps explain that she’s going to be living with Tony now, that he’s her dad properly and not just some figure that her mother loomed over her; she once again accepts it all pretty easily. A good kid.
“I’m hungry.” She speaks up, after Jarvis was done explaining. Tony’s eyebrows went up, as if he’d forgotten that food was a thing, before nodding. Surely he’s got something for her to eat in the kitchen. He doesn’t offer to pick her up, feels she wouldn’t take too kindly to it, but he does reluctantly offer her his hand to hold. It’s something he’s seen in movies, never experienced himself. Well, not from his own father, but Jarvis, the real Jarvis from his childhood, not the Ai, used to hold his hand to guide him round the mansion when he was younger.
He ends up giving her chocolate spread on toast and a whole carton of apple juice to herself; god knows why he had either of those things, he rarely eats chocolate spread and he hasn’t had apple juice in years. It’s best to assume, as always, Jarvis had somehow ordered it in last night for her. She seems to enjoy it well enough, sitting on the counter in the kitchen, her legs going back and forth as she practically drowns in apple juice. He didn’t want to sit her at the table, even though it’s the safer option, since it was covered in schematics and half built weapons. He’s really gonna have to reign that in, if he’s having a kid around.
And he’s gonna have to hire a nanny ASAP. He can’t just drop everything for a kid. But that thought makes guilt curl in his stomach because it’s probably the exact same way his dad thought about him, and he. He really wants to be better. Kids, they weren’t in his thoughts at all at the moment, he didn’t even know if he wanted them point blank, now or in the future. All he cared about right now was girls, parties and occasionally work. But the one thing he’s always reminded himself is that if he were to ever become a dad, he has to be better than Howard. Has to be. Or there isn’t even a point in trying to be a parent. He has to break the cycle. And yeah, he definitely isn’t mentally there right now, no way. But he’s gonna have to step up his game.
God, he’s gonna have to email Pepper and explain all of this so she can cancel any upcoming meetings for at least the next week. Surely this kids gotta be either in school or starting soon, so he’ll just keep her out of it for a week; get to know her. And then when she goes back to school, he can get back to his life. Have Happy pick her up and drop her off, saves him having to do it. He’ll obviously make her food and stuff, and whatever other stuff a parent needs to do. Have Jarvis look after her when he desperately needs to do work. But other than that, maybe, just maybe, he can make this work.
He can be a dad.
September 23rd, 10:09am
He cannot be a dad.
Why did nobody tell him how hard it would be? He’s had the kid a day, tops, and he’s already exhausted physically and mentally. He’s already read through three parenting books, twice, and watched far too much Barbie, probably an unhealthy amount. The great Tony Stark, defeated by a four year old girl.
“Tony?” And that’s another thing. She isn’t calling him dad. He doesn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, though. Because on one hand, it means she doesn’t trust him enough to be calling him dad, give him that title. But on the other hand, maybe she just feels more comfortable calling him by his name.
She stares up at him from her spot on the floor. Pepper had come over yesterday afternoon, after his email, arm full of bags. God, he’d even forgotten he’d need basic things. She’d brought over clothes, bathing products and most importantly; she’d brought over toys. And now Nieve was, rather extravagantly, reenacting a car chase that had been on the news earlier that morning with a cinderella doll, a captain america figure and three Barbies. Fantastic.
Tony was laid on the couch, and turned his head down towards her, eyes narrowing ever so slightly.
“Yes, Nieve?” The parenting book had mentioned something about using their name a lot directly, and making sure they knew you were listening. So that’s what he’d been trying to do.
“Did you know that Captain America was called Steve?” She asks, rather innocently. But Cap, well, he was a touchy subject for Tony, given that Howard constantly compared his own son to the national treasure day in and day out. And that he’d heard more about Steven G Rogers growing up than anything else in the fucking world. He doesn’t ask her where the hell she’s learnt that though. Kids probably been to the museum exhibit, like every other kid in the whole goddamn country.
“That’s nice.” He replies, before turning away again. He itches to go down to his lab, a deep burning desire, but Jarvis has locked him out the sneaky bastard. Said he can’t go in there because Nieve is his responsibility right now and unless Tony is willing to set up a space in there for her, than he isn’t allowed. But how’s he meant to set up a space for her if he isn’t allowed in there? But he doesn’t try argue it anymore.
He sent her to bed at 7pm sharp the night before, only because Jarvis told him that was a healthy bedtime for children her age, and then spent the night cleaning out his spare room. It wasn’t really a spare room, per se, as much as it was an unused office. But it was small enough to be a children’s bedroom. Just, needed the furniture. Which Jarvis assured he could order in.
But Tony wanted to leave the house, for once in his life, get some fresh air. Because being stuck in a house with a four year old for over twenty four hours has made him stir crazy. And he’s pretty sure she needs outside time too. And because he’s new to this, he hasn’t gotten her dressed yet. Yeah, it’s ten in the morning but both of them are in pyjamas.
He lets her play for another ten minutes, before sitting up with a groan. She barely glances over at him from her ‘game’, making exaggerated noises every time one of her dolls gets hit.
“Come on, Kid. Gotta get you dressed.” He tells her, standing up and stretching. God, he was far too old to be sleeping on the couch. She doesn’t protest, abandoning her toys where they are on the floor to follow him; he’s gonna have to start reminding her to clear up, because he is not cleaning up behind her. He’d left all the bags of clothes in her new room and thought he’d let her pick out her own outfit. But alas, when she picked out a bright pink top, neon yellow trousers (ew, hello? Why did Pepper even buy those?) and mismatched hello kitty socks, he immediately took the offer back.
He instead got her dressed in a top with a pink flower, some jean shorts and some possibly ankle socks, possibly a size too small socks. Who knows? But he thinks he did a pretty good job, Jarvis even says so. He even manages to rangle her into sitting down so he can brush her short hair. It’s rather knotty after he’d let Pepper bathe her the night before, but she doesn’t complain any louder than a few hisses. Just as he’s about to get up, she turns to him with a frown though.
“Mama always does piggies.”
What the fuck is a piggy?
Turns out, it’s a hairstyle, according to what Jarvis could find. It’s two ponytails, and it takes him three tries and a youtube tutorial (thank the lords that website was recently created) but he manages to do it for her. And if the grin she gives him makes his heart warm slightly, that’s something only he knows.
15:01pm
Nieve passed out in the car ride home, in the backseat in her princess car seat that Jarvis had somehow acquired. Tony had decided to drive them himself rather than have Happy do it, purely because he didn’t want to hear the man grumble and complain at the amount of shops they ended up going to. Tony is unsure if he should let her nap, because technically she isn’t like, a toddler or anything. But it was their first time in public together and in busy spaces and it was all very overwhelming.
He laid her down in his bed once they’d gotten back, tucking her in before walking down the hall to her room. He has a bed, wardrobe and bookshelf to build, and he’s somehow gotta do it in an hour before he has to wake her up from the nap.
The only thing Tony manages to get done is the bed by the time he hears some shuffling behind him; he almost jumps out of his own skin when he looks up and Nieve is standing in the doorway. He gives her a nod and she apparently takes that as initiative to come in and plop herself down next to him, crossing her legs just like he had. She has a small bear in her arms, her grip tight around it. It’s one of the things that he’d manage to salvage from Katelyn's last known address, where they’d evidently been living, via Jarvis the day before.
She doesn’t say anything to him, so he just continues to build. He notices her keeping her attention on his hand, how he’s screwing the bolts into the draws of her wardrobe he’s currently assembling. He then realises he should probably feed her, considering the last thing she’d eaten was Mcdonald’s at the mall, and that was a good three hours ago now.
When he mentions food to her, she perks up a little, so he decides to get up and head to the kitchen. The last day and a half she’d jump up with him to follow him, but this time she doesn’t. He turns around, slightly surprised, to see her sitting on the floor still and staring up at him. Ever so slowly, she raises her arms at him, her hands opening and closing in a rhythmic repetition. Ah. He read about this. She wants to be picked up. Or, as certain mums on facebook say, she wants ‘uppies’. They also say you shouldn’t give in, most of the time. But she still looks tired, and her bottom lip is wobbling slightly like she might burst into tears if she had to actually stand on her own two feet, so he lets out a loud sigh and picks her up.
She refuses to get down when they get to the kitchen, so he keeps her held against his hip as he makes her dinner, which is just a microwave meal of noodles. He can’t even cook for himself, sue him, he’s gonna learn eventually. The only sound filling the room was the microwave spinning round and their breathing, and she laid her head against his shoulder, just in the crook of his neck. It made him tense up almost immediately, but she didn’t give up. It’s the first time he’s been touched like this in, well, ever. He never got this kind of physical touch from his own parents, and he’s never had a stable, serious enough relationship to let anybody close to him like this. It’s, nice? In a way, at least.
When the microwave beeps, he tries to get her to at least sit against the counter, but she refuses to let go of him, clung to him like a monkey. It’s a weird development, to say the least. She hasn’t had any meltdowns over the past two days, and he really does not want to experience one now, so he gives in and sits at the (newly cleaned) kitchen table with her in his lab, the bowl of noodles in front of them. A big enough portion that they both have a fork each. She untangles herself from his neck wordlessly, but keeps her back pressed against his chest. It’s a definite contrast to how wary she’d been of him even just this morning, not initiating contact at all and not really enjoying it when he had to do it (like holding her hand, helping her into the car, tucking her in). He’ll be sure to ask Jarvis once he’s put her to bed to figure out why she’s suddenly being touchy feely.
19:16pm
The credits rolled on Lilo and Stitch just as Tony could feel himself dozing off. It appears though, that Nieve had already fallen asleep, her face smushed against his side. He sighed, picking her up bridal style to carry her to bed, automatically walking towards his own bedroom before remembering he’d built her bed today. He’d managed to rangle her back in there before their movie to get her changed into pyjamas and put her princess bedding onto her new mattress and duvet, so all he needed to do was place her down into bed, simple enough. He even managed to remember her teddy bear, and replaced the grip she had on his hand with that, before slipping out of the room. He left the door ajar, as he has the previous nights.
It feels slightly odd to get into his own bed after having the couch, but as he settles against the headboard, Stark Pad in his hand, he feels relaxed somehow. He does end up doing some research about physical touch in toddlers, Jarvis reminding him to add in the fact that she’s grieving her mother; it comes up with the different stages of grief in children and how to deal with it. Offers different methods, tells him to get her a therapist and all that. But he doesn’t want to overwhelm her, remembers how it was when his parents died. And yeah, he was a lot older than her, but he didn’t like being forced to speak to a therapist by Obadiah, so he wouldn’t put Nieve through it.
January 21st 2006, 12:00pm
January 21st marks four months since Nieve had started to live with Tony. Four months since her mum had passed away. The funeral was just after her fifth birthday, which they celebrated by staying indoors and watching Barbie movies all day, only eating sweets and chocolate. Tony had ended up setting up a corner of his lab with a playpen of sorts, after two weeks of his ‘lab ban’ so that Nieve could sit down there with him when she wasn’t at preschool, so mainly on the weekends.
She’d been formally introduced to both Rhodey and Obadiah around Christmas time, as well as the rest of the world via an interview Tony did about a new product just after new years. It turns out her clingyness was a brief after effect of her grief, missing her mother, as Tony was told by pepper; she knew a guy who worked with ‘specialised’ children. Aka, orphans, or kids who’d lost a parent. Sure enough, she stopped needing to be touching him constantly after a few weeks, which came as both a relief and a small disappointment to Tony; but it didn’t mean she liked being away from him. She was fine at preschool, but at home she preferred to be near him, or at least in the same room.
The funeral for Katelyn was a week after her birthday. She was quiet the whole day, and Tony stayed by her side; he knew he didn’t like funerals at his age, so he can’t even imagine how she feels about them, especially since it was her own mother they were burying. He tries to encourage her to remember Katelyn, has a picture of her and a picture of the both of them up in Nieve’s room, so she can always look at them whenever she wants.
She’d also started calling him dad, rather than Tony, about a month and a half in. It was like something clicked in her mind overnight. It was ‘goodnight Tony’ when he’d put her to bed, and then ‘Morning Daddy’ in a shy voice when he’d woken her up the next day. To say it was a weird development would be rude, but not wrong. It took some time for Tony to get used to it, for sure, and it still made his heart stutter a bit, especially when she was upset and called out for him in her tiny voice, saying dad instead of Tony. But it was a good development, and he was proud of her.
All in all, he thinks he’s doing an alright job. He barely drinks anymore, more so because of the fact that Jarvis keeps the liquor cupboard tightly locked since Nieve is around, but also because he’s just too busy to even think about it. He’s managed to learn how to cook pancakes, chicken nuggets and chips and recently a cheese pizza, which is a massive win in his books. And he’s managing to juggle (mostly healthy) time between work and fatherhood.
So yes, Tony Stark wasn’t prepared to be a father, and isn’t the best of the best. But he’s doing his best, for his little girl. And that’s really all that matters to him, and more importantly, to her.