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There was always something boiling beneath the surface when it came to Harua and Maki. From the start of their friendship, skinship was something that Harua had to get used to between them. Maki knew his boundaries and what wouldn’t make Harua uncomfortable ever since they had bared their hearts out about it during &audition. Now four years later after their debut, Harua was the one to really seek out Maki’s affection. Harua didn’t think much of it. Their touches lingered at first, lingering hugs, lingering hand holding, and lingering brushes against their skins. Those were touches he was used to even when he felt that those touches were getting longer than they were before.
They were getting different and the both of them didn’t acknowledge it. They just let their hugs grow into a longer embrace, they let the lap sitting get too comfortable, and they let the private hand holding last way longer than they had supposed to. Yet, nothing was said and Harua felt that they didn’t need to say anything to each other about it because it had felt natural. Just two best friends that are very normal about giving that amount of skinship towards each other.
Things changed though, to the point where Harua just couldn’t ignore it too long, to the point where he had to battle with his heart and his brain with his feelings over Maki. And it’s all because of one particular moment in their schedules that Maki and he had to both participate in. Doing each other's makeup in asmr for M2. At first, it was normal. They answered the questions they were given to, they did each other’s makeup, until they got to their lips.
Maki had looked at him not with hunger, but with a yearn. He touched his lips gently while applying lip gloss on him with concentration, it tingled his lips. Harua had stayed still just watching the way Maki looked at him with so much intensity. Harua was on edge by the gaze but what made his stomach jump through hoops was Maki’s comment.
“Your lips look so cute,” Maki had whispered.
Harua was startled by it, by how Maki had boldly commented on his lips like that, “What’s that all of a sudden?”
“Because it’s small.”
“Is that so?” Harua asked, curious but still caught off guard.
“Yes. It’s small but kind of plump.” Maki had stated.
Harua didn’t know how to respond to that other than let out a small quiet laugh. Maki let it pass casually, like he didn’t just say that his lips were cute, small and plump. Harua had wanted to let it go just like how Maki did. It’s not the first time he’s called Harua cute. But it’s about his lips and the fact that the younger just had to comment on it while looking at him so intensely with a look of longing. It had set Harua’s heart into a spiral. He didn’t show it, keeping it under wraps so calm and controlled even when his insides were in nerves.
This is where things just started changing. Instead of ignoring the lingering touches that grew longer every time they touched, Harua thought about it and when he thought about it, he couldn’t help but to move away from his affection. His skin tingled so much that he got sensitive to it. It wasn’t just the touches though. Harua knew that Maki had grown into something so fine. He’s grown much taller than him, much bigger than him, and so defined that Harua felt small around him in general. He’s still a puppy, a giant one at that. But the size difference makes Harua’s stomach squeeze tight. He thinks of things he shouldn’t when he acknowledges the obvious difference between them.
He has to stand on his tippy toes just to whisper in his ear. Maki’s own two hands cover the entirety of his middle and Maki has no issues picking him up so easily. Harua was aware of these things now and he doesn’t know what to do with it other than to run away from it.
The distance is very noticeable between them now. Everyone noticed it quickly, especially when they are two of the closest members in &team. Maki had tried to get close to him multiple times throughout these weeks after that video and yet, Harua had dodged him without realizing it and a rift in their friendship started to form. Harua is someone that addresses issues quickly instead of holding it in but this one just felt so fragile. How was he supposed to address something that he himself is having a hard time trying to figure out? He can’t address something he needs to figure out and he’s sure that Maki wouldn’t want half-assed answers from him.
So he stayed quiet, only his thoughts being loud in his head on what was going on with him. The gazes between them were loud, all of the group members looking at both of them with such concern. Maki was just like him when it came to problems, always one to speak up right when the problem was apparent. When it came to Harua though, he knew when to be patient to speak to him even when things weren’t going so well between them.
With this distance, became the tension. Confusion, anger, charged tension of something else lingering between them. It was heavy, especially at dance practices. They had practiced normally but more with Maki being too focused, too tensed, and too in his own world. With his gaze always following along the younger, Harua saw Maki in such a way he’s never seen before. Quiet.
Maki has been quiet with too much on his mind and Harua could blame no one but himself. Everyone else is there to cheer him up, to bring out the soft shell that Maki has slowly built up around himself. And Harua was too scared to do the same, because being around Maki started to feel too much. His heart sped up way too fast around him, his body ached to be engulfed by him, and his lips started to feel empty once Maki was around.
Harua had touched around his lips and sighed, red circulating around his cheeks as he thought about Maki kissing him when he’s just mere feet away from him. Maki repeatedly glancing his way didn’t help either. He yearned but his gaze also held this darkness to it. It sent sparks down Harua’s body.
K’s voice broke through their world, making everyone focus on him as he spoke, “Alright everyone, 10 mins and we’re back to practicing Lunatic so get whatever you need beforehand.”
With K giving them a time from when they’re getting back to practice, everyone got what they needed. Bathroom breaks, phone breaks, water breaks, and whatever Nicholas and Ej was bickering about in the corner of their practice room. At least they got their shit together. Wherein, Harua was tangled up in whatever feelings he got caught up in with Maki.
He needs to leave the dance room and get some fresh air before he stops breathing, “I’m going to get some water,” Harua announced, letting everyone know where he’s going to be. Fuma acknowledged him with a hum and a nod and Harua was off.
Water didn’t help him breathe, didn’t help him with his thoughts. It was refreshing but not refreshing enough. Of course Maki had to be on his mind. His lips had to be on his mind. When they were doing each other's makeup, Maki’s lips were just as soft as his under his finger tips. He wondered if they would fit against him so perfectly. He licks his lips at the thought and aches just for the feel of Maki’s body against his.
Too focused on someone being on his mind, he didn’t notice that the exact man he was thinking about followed him out after him. He walked up to Harua with large strides and heavy steps, making it known that it was him that was seeking him out. With the sound of shoes against the floor, Harua turns attention to it and widens his eyes, not expecting for Maki to follow him. Though, it was always a known fact amongst the members that wherever Harua goes, Maki is there with him.
And right now, he’s with him with different circumstances that both of them didn’t think they’d be in. Maki reached out to him without any hesitation, furrowed eyebrows and a tense body. He pushes Harua close to him in a embrace and backs them into a wall, Harua’s back being the one back into it. With Maki’s hands on his waist, his body trembles just a bit for Maki to feel and notice.
“What’s wrong?” He had asked a loaded question about his tremble and about everything else that is happening between them.
Harua had his hands at his sides, not even touching Maki himself and Maki heavily sighs at the lack of skinship. Maki holds him slightly up to the point where he’s almost on his toes and Harua hitches a breath, “I–I don’t know,” he finally answers.
With Maki’s touch on him right now and the filled heavy gazes between them, Harua is sure that he knows. He just doesn’t want to admit it just yet, not until he’s really sure about what other feelings he has for maki other than the sexual tension between them. And he’s sure Maki has some type of idea about it knowing that it was something the both of them are dancing around on. Though, he lets it go, partly because this is not the time to bare their feelings right now.
“Okay,” was all Maki said.
“Okay?” Harua repeats after him with slight confusion.
“Yeah, okay. Just….let me hold you,” he said, voice hesitant but with want, so much want to hold him.
Harua lets him hold him, his body tense but slowly loosening as he familiarizes himself with Maki’s body again. He couldn’t help it, after all. His body held a longing for the younger no matter what type of emotion he’s having for him right now. So he puts his arms around Maki’s neck and lays his head on his chest.
It was supposed to be innocent, at first. Just a hug of an embrace that they indulge in before going back to practice, until it wasn’t. Until Maki sought out skin on skin contact beneath his shirt, wanting to feel him more. Harua had shook and tensed, but not pulling away, not wanting to. Harua moved his head to Maki’s wide shoulder and whispered his name, “Maki…”
He looks down at him, breath hitting his cheeks and lips way too close to his that if he moved, they would kiss. Harua had tried to look away but Maki was quick to free one hand from his waist and hold his face from turning. Harua lets out a small gasp, his arms tightening around the taller's neck.
“I miss you, Harua.” His voice was soft, staining with worry and hurt and eyes glossy.
Harua’s heart pangs at the sound of his voice. He closed his eyes and didn’t exchange a single word. He’s afraid that his voice would give up before he could even speak one word. He just responds to his touch, body heating in many ways it shouldn’t right now and heart racing. Maki just took what he could get at that moment, both forgetting the time until they couldn’t.
Their moment was broken by the sound of one of their members' voices.
“Maki, Harua oh–“ Yuma had called out their names, dragging out the last syllables of it, then cutting himself off because of the position he found them both in.
Harua quickly moved away and Maki had only huffed, jaw tensing.
“Did I interrupt something?” Yuma raised an eyebrow, asking them with that teasing voice that he does.
“No,”
“Yes,”
Both had said at the same time. They looked at each other and quickly glanced away and back at Yuma. Yuma’s brow lifted up higher, though he didn’t probe into it, already figuring that they were for sure in a moment that should not be spoken about right now.
“Hm, yeah, alright, ” Yuma responds with a small cackle, “Well, K is calling practice again so we better head back.”
Harua had nodded at his words and Maki had only smacked his lips and sighed. He looks back at Harua with those downturned glossy puppy eyes again, lingering on him for a second before he has to force his eyes to pull away. He walks back without saying a word, Harua watching his form as he walks away.
Quiet, not another word said before he left. Harua frowns and Yuma is still there, watching.
“I hope everything gets better between you two,” he said, “I mean, I can only guess what’s going on between you two but you know you can talk to us if you need. Especially me, Rua,” He states firmly, crossing his arms and letting go of the teasing to care for his best friend.
Harua had embraced himself and looked down at the floor, finding interest in that instead. Yeah, maybe he should talk to someone about this. And Yuma was always the one to listen to him, always the one to hand a shoulder to him. It’s just hard to express how he really feels when it comes to Maki and ask himself “what is them to him? What is Maki to him?”
He looks up at the older and gives him a tight lipped smile, “Thank you, Yuma. It’s just…”
“I know. Talk to me when you’re ready. No rush,” Yuma throws an arm around his shoulders and squeezes it, “Let’s just go back to practice, yeah?”
Harua genuinely smiles this time and that was Yuma’s signal to guide them both back to their practice room. At least Yuma helped him lighten his heart a bit.
♡
“So you’re telling me that you want maki to fuck you and that’s why you’ve been trying to keep your distance?” Yuma had said bluntly after Harua had explained to him his….situation.
Harua’s cheeks flush at Yuma’s words, “That’s definitely not what I said,”
“You said that you can’t stop thinking about his lips and his mere touches make you weak to your knees. That’s basically the same thing on you wanting to fuck,”
“Yumaaaa,” Harua covers his face and makes a noise that makes it sound like he’s about to burst into tears. He then takes a pillow and attempts to throw it at Yuma’s face but the older only dodges it like a cat does when they detect danger.
“What?! Am I wrong? I mean, that’s what the tension feels like around you two. You both aren’t exactly hiding emotions well,” Yuma only shrugs.
Harua can’t help but think about how they look from an outsider's point of view. In his eyes, he only knew that everyone else saw that he and Maki weren’t really talking like that these past few weeks. Not the other way around where everyone just feels the tension of them just wanting to fuck. Harua leans back on his bed and throws his arm on his face, blowing a harsh breath that cooled his warm skin.
It hasn’t even been that long since they came back from the company and back into their dorms and in their respective rooms. The fact that Yuma already rooms with him is enough for Yuma to question him anyways on what’s happening. You can’t always hide things from your roommates and best friends. Especially situations like this when apparently, he’s being too obvious.
“I don’t want to think about any of my friends knowing that I’m being turned on by Maki so please keep that to yourself,” Harua groans.
“You just admitted it!”
“Fuck you, Yuma,” Harua sticks a middle finger up at him while Yuma just cackles at his misery.
It took about a minute for his laughter to die down and then he sighs, “Seriously though, why are you holding back? I thought it was always apparent that y’all like each other,” Yuma asked, curious.
“That’s because we never spoke about it. And at least for me, didn’t even realize it,” Harua sits up and fully faces his roommate, “That’s my issue, I don’t know if I’m just a pervert and it’s just lust or if I actually like him.”
Being an idol, relationships were just always something that was tucked into the back of their minds, especially with a busy schedule. And even while growing up, he didn’t have much of a love life to really feel like he liked someone. Having a crush is one thing but actually liking someone is another. Dating amongst the group isn’t a new thing either. Nicholas and Ej are in a relationship after about two years of them dancing around each other. K and Fuma have…whatever freaky stuff they have going on and Yuma is just Yuma, the biggest flirt to everyone but especially to Jo and Taki.
They seem to have their shit together, knowing how to navigate their feelings and be mature about it. Meanwhile, Harua is having a crisis over how he feels for Maki.
“I think you’ve always liked him in a romantic way. You’re just now realizing that your affection towards him is turning into something sexual,” Yuma shrugs, “At least that’s how I see it. We’ve been around each other for years so I’ve seen the way you’ve acted around him, you’re kind of overthinking it,” Yuma tells him.
Harua does think about it. The way he acts around Maki isn’t the same as how he acts around the rest of the members. Yeah, they all get overly flirty for jokes but with maki, it all just felt real and so right. He can’t deny the flutters he’ll feel in his stomach every time they have any type of moment they have with each other.
“Maybe you’re right,” Harua sighs then starts staring at the most interesting thing that’s in his vision, his nails.
“No, I am right,” Yuma leans back on the wall from where he sits on his bed, “So I say tell him, indulge it. You’ve always done what you want first hand anyways, right?”
Now he can’t just do that. He doesn’t even know if maki feels the same way. If anything, Maki could just see him as someone he admires or something.
“I can’t just go up to him and tell him. What if he doesn’t like me back?”
“Harua,” Yuma squinted his eyes at him in disbelief, “There’s no way you can’t see that Maki is absolutely head over heels for you when I literally caught you and him almost locking lips with each other a few hours ago,” Yuma furrows his eyebrows.
“Hell, you told me that he told you that he said he missed you!”
“That could mean that he missed me as a friend!”
Yuma blinks at him slowly then lets out a small laugh, quite literally laughing in his face. He rubs his cheeks then shakes his head, “yeah, I’m going to bed. You got it.”
“You’re not helping,” Harua pouts and rolls his eyes.
Yuma then turns to him, “Oh you’ll see what I mean. I promise you will and then I’ll tell you that I told you so.”
Harua just throws another pillow at Yuma’s head, this time it hits him right where he wanted to hit him at.
“And you aren’t getting your pillows back.”
Whatever, he’ll be fine.
♡
Harua thinks he’s getting tortured.
Mentally tortured to the point where he’s having a really hard time performing on stage by Maki. The stylist definitely has a vision for Maki and that vision is to have everyone ogle him but to also destroy Harua. Deer Hunter was the worst of it all. It’s a song where they’re all dressed showing so much skin, a song where they’re all singing and a low sensual tone, a song where their every move is calculatedly smooth, beautiful and just sexy. Maki performs this song so well, maybe too well and Harua has no clue how he’s still moving through this performance.
Maki is so sexy that it should be considered a crime. A crime to look this hot that his band members are even affected by him. Mainly Harua is the target of Maki’s audience, being the one on stage with him but internally screaming on the inside.
Maki knew it too. Harua has an inkling that he does. He glances at him every chance that he gets and they make eye contact every single time. It was intense, so intense that it made Harua shiver. This was so different from when Maki had stared at him while they were doing each other's make up. No, this time, it was hungry. He was the prey and Maki is that predator seeking for him with those downturned eyes. Once they were off stage, Harua had to step away. His heart pounded so hard that it rocked his body and he’s sure that’s not a healthy thing.
He had to hide in the bathroom and calm down. He closes his eyes and breathes in and out, slowly, counting down, and calming his nerves. Water would have helped, a splash of water on his face, though he didn’t want to risk messing up much of his makeup and have the makeup artist be upset with him. They had a lot of time to take a break because they’re performing at a festival, their stage is already done but having to stay because they have a cover song in an hour or so. He takes his time regrouping himself, breathing slowly and fixing himself up. He looks at himself in the mirror and sighs.
This is new, being so affected like this. He has tears in his eyes that haven't fallen yet, just glossy, sparkling, nervous. He’s never felt that type of captivation before, the one that makes him want to fall on his knees, to take what he wants, to be wrecked. That feeling was so strong and he had to get away from Maki before things went south. Before he could have done something. The feeling is still there, still strong even after a few minutes of calming himself down. It’s just, how is he supposed to go back out there knowing he’ll have to face the same person that got him into this position in the first place?
He knows he needs to leave, he’s in a public restroom. Anyone can walk in and see that something is wrong with him, see that he’s having a hard time. He shakily exhales, hugging himself, “Get it together, Harua,” he whispers to himself, “You’re better than this.” With a few more words of affirmations, he pulls through, deciding that it was time for him to go before someone could come in.
With some new confidence, he opens the bathroom door, only to be startled by the last person he wanted to see.
“Maki…” Harua had breathed out.
Like these past few days, no words said. Just silence and a dark gaze that followed. Maki grabbed his arm and guided them back into the bathroom, making sure to kick it back shut and to lock it. Harua glances at the door knob from the sound of the lock, and then back at Maki who kept his eyes on his face, not even once looking away.
He then speaks, “Harua,” his name came out of Maki’s so breathy that Harua tingles. Maki outstretched his arms, eyes no longer dark but pleading like a puppy’s, “Please, Rua. I just want to hold you.”
Harua looks at his arms then back at Maki’s face with a bite of his lip. Hesitant, he walks into his arms, slowly but surely. He doesn’t give a second thought to his plea, even when he’s trembling in his arms, body pulsing from the bits of skin they’re contacting from their revealing clothes. He doesn’t deny him, even when just a few minutes ago, he was close to tears from the frustration he felt towards the taller. His hands is caressing over his waist, fingers rubbing on his backside and Harua is having a hard time trying to breathe, to stay still and not fuck it up.
But Maki doesn’t let up.
He pulls him impossibly closer, where he’s sure that Harua could live in his skin. Then Maki shifts, leaning down to his neck. He hugs him tight, burying his nose into Harua’s neck. Harua wraps his arms around Maki’s waist too, still tense and hesitating whilst Maki is not afraid to show that he does miss Harua, miss touching him. They stay still for minutes, Maki taking him in for a while. Until he shifts again, Harua now feels lips against his neck. Soft lips that Harua has thought of against his so many times. Harua had let out a sigh without him realizing, causing a reaction to come from Maki.
His hands grip Harua’s small waist, causing another sound to elicit from Harua’s mouth. Harua breathes harshly, “Maki….“ he calls his name again.
Suddenly, they flipped. Harua’s back was facing the bathroom door now and Maki hovered over him with that dark look again, the same look he saw on stage while they performed Deer Hunter.
That hungry, longing gaze.
Maki holds a hand up to under his chin, gently but so controlled, like he was holding back. Harua hears him suck a breath in and sees him close his eyes. It was like he was counting down to ten to open his eyes again, to brace himself. And when he does, he lets out a hiss, “Fuck, Harua,” he curses in English, “you drive me insane,” he then switches back to Japanese.
Heart racing, all Harua could do was stay in Maki’s hold and watch as both of them break, teetering so close to the edge of doing something at a place they shouldn’t do anything at.
“What…what do you mean?” Harua stuttered out, eyes tracing everywhere on Maki’s face.
Maki didn’t say anything else but move him closer, so close like before, lips brushing and one move, they could kiss. Harua’s hands were still on Maki’s waist, trembling and clutching the fabric of Maki’s clothing. Harua felt a shake from Maki from Harua just clutching on him. With one last restraint, Maki pushes him back against the door completely and their lips brush against each other. They didn’t kiss immediately but a whimper came out of Maki’s throat. All it took was a whimper for Harua to lean in, finally taking his lips against his.
Like he knew it would, the slide against each other perfectly. So soft, smooth, and wet. Harua takes his bottom lip and sucks on it, creating an opening for both of their tongues to fight against each other. It was slow but so messy, so loud, too breathy, too much.
It was too good. His body itched like it never did before, buzzing full of pleasure that Harua tears up again, but this time from the full experience of Maki finally being on him. Maki wasn’t any better, also trembling in his arms and making the most toe curing whimpers that vibrated both of their bodies. Both had started moving, their bodies moving on their own accord. Maki’s knee between his legs and Harua slowly began to move. Back and forth, slowly, shaking.
He moans between them, mouth opening and tongue giving up on fighting with Maki’s and letting Maki take control as he moves on his knee and grips his arms around the taller. Breathing hurts, he needed air and yet, Harua just couldn’t get enough.
Maki notices the lack of air and pulls away. They’re breathing hard, finding it difficult to catch their breaths after what just happened. They stare at each other deeply, so raw of emotions that none of them could speak up on. Not yet it seems. Because all they wanted was to just feel. Maki was the first to move, removing his knee from between Harua’s legs and then effortlessly picking him up. Harua quickly wraps his legs around him and sighs once he feels Maki’s mouth on the skin of his neck.
His fingers run through Maki’s hair, clutching on it as Maki explores him with kisses. If only he’ll be able to mark him. He wishes Maki could mark him. But fuck, not at a time like this. Definitely not at a time like this. Harua lets out a moan and Maki responds with another whimper. As much as he wants to keep going, they need to stop. Harua grips his hand in Maki’s hair and pulls him away. Maki had made a noise that made him twitch but he can’t let that distract him right now.
“M-Maki, we need to stop,” he said as best as he could, still trying to catch his breath.
Maki groans, head falling on Harua’s shoulder while his fingers grip Harua’s thighs. The older flinches at the grip, “Riki.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” Maki puts him down and he stumbles a bit, Maki catching him.
His legs were jelly and he can still feel a hardness that is for sure going to take a while to go away. Harua looks down and sees that Maki is also as equally as hard as he is, painfully hard and big. He flushes, looking away. The moment settles between them. They’re still standing so close but now it’s sinking in that they basically just almost fucked in a bathroom while on their jobs.
Harua moves away from him, at least tries to. Because even at this moment, Maki doesn’t want to pull away.
“No, not this again,” Maki said firmly, “stop moving away from me,” he says with a frown.
Harua did as told, staying right where Maki wants him to be. In his arms, “I won’t move away again.” He says.
Maki looks at him, really stares at him, “I’m serious. You’ve been—“ he cuts himself off then looks away.
Harua’s eyebrows creased, “I’ve been what?” He asked, even when he knows what he’s been doing, running away.
Maki looks back at him, “We’ll talk about this later. I don’t want to bare my feelings while we’re in a public restroom.”
They already almost fucked but okay, Harua understands. This is the last place where he wants to talk about his feelings too.
“Yeah, you’re right,” he sighs, “we can talk once we get home,” Harua voiced.
Maki nods, agreeing with him, “Yeah, at home.”
They stare at each other again, eyes swimming with unspoken emotions that pull their heartstrings. They held a timid gaze, though, the heaviness that bared their shoulders was slowly lifting from finally being able to touch each other and now speak.
♡
“There’s condoms and lube all the way at the bottom of the drawer by the way,” Yuma had pointed at the drawer that sits between their beds.
Harua had the urge to throw a pillow at him, “We’re just talking. There’s no telling how this will go,”
“I would hope it goes well with you both tearing each other's clothes off considering the panic the both of you put on us before our cover performance,” Yuma had said with a teasing smile and a head tilt.
Harua cheeks get hot, “We got…carried away, that’s all,”
“Mhm, right. Carried away or whatever you say. I’ll be with Jo and Taki for the night. Hopefully you’ll enjoy your night,” Yuma ruffles his hair and smiles at him, “I really want you both to be happy. Please get it together,” he says softly.
Harua couldn’t help but smile softly at him, “I will try,” he replied.
Yuma seemed satisfied with the answer, “Thank goodness. Don’t forget about the cond–“
“Okay! You can leave now. He should be here any second by now and you’re still lingering around,” Harua shooed him away.
Yuma giggles and then he stands by the door and winks at him, “Have funnn,” and then he leaves.
Harua puts a hand on his forehead and Maki walks right in after Yuma leaves. He closes the door and points at it, “what was Yuma giggling about?”
Harua groans and shakes his head, “Don’t worry about it. He’s just being Yuma,”
Maki hums at his words in acknowledgment and then sits down on Yuma’s bed. And then silence. They avoided each other's gazes, looking everywhere but each other.
They didn’t know where to begin. Should they start off on what just happened in the bathroom a few hours ago? The situation caused such chaos. Ej showed some disappointment in them suddenly disappearing, K and Fuma not being afraid to scold them along with their managers, and Taki, Yuma, and Nicholas teasing them as much as they could. Jo was the only one that minded his business. He observed but he wanted no parts in the mess that was created.
Now they would have to clean it up tonight with their words. But their kiss didn’t start this. It was the deprivation that started between them that did. And it was all Harua. Maki was seeking him out, Harua was running away, and it created so many issues between them. Harua pangs at his behavior, he caused the mess. It wasn’t as big but it still did enough damage between them. More so to Maki.
Maki crosses his arms and his mouth downturned, “I just want to know why you started avoiding me.”
There it is, the root of the problem.
Harua exhales and picks at his pants, “Things started changing between us after M2 and I….I couldn’t understand my feelings.”
“So you started avoiding me?”
“Listen, I’m sorry, Riki,” Harua finally turns to face him, being met with the puppy eyes that he adores so much, “I didn’t mean to put a rift between us like that,”
“But you did,”
“Maki–“
“No, listen, Rua,” he gets up from Yuma’s bed then kneels on the floor so he can face Harua at face level. He puts his hands over Harua’s thighs and with teary eyes, he spills his heart out, “I have seeked your touch, only yours, for years because I-I love you, Harua. So to see you pull away like that hurt so much, especially when I thought we were fine.”
Harua’s breath hitches at Maki’s confession. Love. Such a strong word.
“He loves me” Harua teared up, “Riki, I’m so sorry, fuck. I–“
“It’s fine, Rua,” Maki rubs his thigh to comfort him. He sniffles himself, tears beginning to roll and he’s still trying to comfort him when he’s the one that’s hurt.
“It’s not fine,” he says with a shaky breath, “I ran because I didn’t know how I truly felt about you. I didn’t know if it was love or if it was purely just lust and I didn’t want to hurt us in the process because I was in such a turmoil on how I felt,” Harua puts his hands on top of Maki’s, “I’ve realized that I’ve always liked you– no, Loved you, but I just never explored that side of my affection before. I was confused,” Harua sniffles.
“I understand. I just wished you never pushed me a way like that, you know? I guess I just got used to us always speaking to each other when we had a problem. This was something new to me.” Maki gets up from the floor and finally sits beside him. He scrunches his nose as he sniffles, “Maybe I got too dependent on your touch,” Maki shrugs.
Harua shook his head, “No, I like that you are,” he leans his head on his shoulder, “I’m the same way too, actually,” Harua admitted.
Harua had yearned for him. He pulled away but every single time Maki was stern enough to touch him, Harua gave in. He was starved of his touch and he almost cried about it because that craving was something he never felt before.
“Over the weeks, my body sought out for you. It was like a punishment for pushing you away like that,” Harua confessed, “and I–“ gosh, is he really going to admit to it? That he also almost cried about craving Maki’s touch?
He’s basically crying already so he’ll have to, “Well I–“
Maki lets out a wet chuckle, “Harua, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,”
“No, I do. It’s hard to spit it out. You wouldn’t let me live it down.” Harua groans.
Maki raises an eyebrow at that and Harua groans again and sniffles right after, “I basically almost cried too for craving you.”
Maki had gasps, he tears up again, but he also grins, “Oh how the tables turned,”
“I knew you wouldn’t have let me live that down,” Harua huffed.
“You were crying over little ol’ me?” He wetly chuckles. He pulls Harua from off his shoulder and faces him.
“I said almost,” Harua grogged.
Maki, even with tears rolling down his face, smiles and pecks his lips. Their lips buzzed with electricity at the feel, Harua now having fat tears rolling down his face, “You’re crying now though,”
“Because I like you touching me!” Harua sobs out, “And I’m not the only one crying right now,”
“It’s normal for me to cry, baby. I’m the cryer here so I’m very happy that you feel this strongly for me as much as I do you,” Maki wipes his tears then leans in to kiss Harua again. Another kiss, his toes are curling and his stomach is flipping from the touches Harua had craved from Maki for the past few weeks.
“It’s because I love you,” Harua says softly and low against Maki’s lips.
Maki pecks him, “hm, say that again,”
Harua complies, finally fully accepting that yes, he’s in love with Maki. He probably has been for a while way before he even realized it, “I love you, Riki,”
Maki pulls him on his lap and kisses him hard. It was nasty. Teeth, tears, and spit. It was messy and sloppy but they didn’t care. They just confessed after dancing around each other for the longest time.
Once they pull away, Maki holds him tight, “And when we have problems, don’t ever pull away from me, okay? I can’t bear it when you just push me away like that. We always talked to each other and we’ll continue to do that,” Maki had firmly stated, red eyes stern and filled with warning.
Harua smiles at him wide and pressed his lips against his for a quick second, “I promise this won’t happen again,” he says tenderly.
Maki let out a satisfied hum at his answer and kissed him again, this time slowly. Their first kiss was explosive, happening at a time where they couldn’t handle the separation that long anymore. It held in emotions, filled with heaviness. This kiss, however, was everything. They talked, confessed, and now they’re kissing to seal what they have officially. It felt secured, not full of uncertainty but full of love and serenity.
When it gets heated, it’s fierce. Powerful. They feel the love stronger this time, their love not hiding in the quiet air. It was said verbally and now it’s a sure thing when their lips are locked in like this. Harua moves his hips, needing the friction, needing to feel Maki touch him. Maki puts his hands underneath Harua’s shirt, hands finding home on his waist. He pushes Harua forward as Harua grinds against him. They both moan at the friction, both of them are getting harder by the seconds. They’re getting hot, sweat beginning to form on their bodies. Harua still rocks on top of him, moans long and low, not minding that the air is getting too hot to wear clothes.
A hand moves down to Harua’s ass, Maki squeezing it and the smaller flinches on his lap and sucks a breath in as he grinds harder. Maki clenches his teeth at his action and hisses, “Baby– hnm” he whimpers then tightly holds Harua’s waist to stop him from moving, “We need to get these clothes off. I need to fuck you, please. I need to,” he practically begs.
Harua licks his lips, “Take my clothes off for me, then,” He says, almost demanding.
Maki didn’t hesitate, flipping them over on Harua’s bed, Harua now laying on his back. Maki sits up to take a good view at Harua for a quick second, biting his lips once he sees how small he looks under him. Harua groans, impatient, eager, “Riki,”
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to admire the view,” Maki starts to take off his pajama pants along with his boxers, not wasting time on taking off the articles of clothing in the way of touching his lover. Harua’s dick sprang free, it slaps against his stomach untouched, hard, and leaking.
“I look better with my clothes off anyways,” Harua says, spreading himself. He’s not afraid to show what he has, confident in his body and that Maki would like the way he looks anyways.
By the way Maki was staring, drooling even, he’s right to be assured in himself anyways.
“You do look good naked, baby,” Maki reaches the hem of Harua’s shirt, “But you also looked good in that stage outfit from earlier,” he then takes off his shirt, throwing it somewhere around the room.
“Mhm, is that why you jumped me earlier?”
“I jumped you for numerous reasons, my love,” Maki leans down to kiss down his body, Harua sighing softly at the feathery sensation, “one was because you looked at me in my own outfit and couldn’t keep your eyes to yourself. Made me feel so good, baby,” he kisses lower down to his abdomen, close to his dick that desperately needed attention.
“Two was because you were avoiding me,” lips slid down to his pelvis, completely ignoring the main issue, “Three is because I needed to kiss you,” then he slid down even further, facing his hole that’s waiting to be stretched.
“Can I eat you out? Please?” Maki doesn’t stray from saying please to him at all even when he’s the one mainly in control right now. Harua’s heart flutters from it. He likes hearing Maki beg like that.
“You can after you take your clothes off,”
Harua gave him permission but with a requirement and Maki oh so obeyed him so quickly. He took off his clothes in a haste, shirt got stuck over his head a little bit, but he successfully took it off. Pajama pants and boxes off in a flash, and socks flying off somewhere. It wasn’t anything sexy but he expects that from Maki. No matter the lack of strip tease, Maki is already sexy enough to make up for it.
His downturned eyes that Harua gets lost in, dimples that he can’t help but to poke, defined jawline that he loves to hold in his hands, chiseled body crafted by the gods, and he’s just so big, so much bigger than him in all the right places. Harua moans just thinking about it. Hearing it, Maki raises an eyebrow at him, “I didn’t even touch you yet,”
“Shut up,” he flushes, spreading his legs.
Maki laughs then he starts to lean down again but pauses, “Oh we need condoms and—“
“Bottom drawer,” Harua said that way too quickly. He’s for sure going to hear from Yuma, especially when he’ll know that he used them.
Maki steps away from him to grab the condoms and lube from the bottom drawer. He grabs them in a hurry, not worrying about the fact that the lube feels half empty and there’s only a few condoms left. There’s no way they’re questioning Yuma on when the fuck he’s been getting laid when he’s about to get laid himself. He can worry about that later.
Maki is back on him immediately, bottle still in hand but condom placed on the side of Harua’s leg. Maki opens the lube then pours some on his fingers, rubbing them just right so it can warm up, “Ready, baby?” He asks, glancing up at him to make sure he was alright.
Harua nods, “I’m ready for you to fuck me, yeah,” he spreads his legs wider and Maki wets his lips and looks down with dark eyes, gaze on his untouched hole. He couldn’t wait to get his mouth on it. His dick twitched at the sight and his mouth waters.
“Fuck yeah, okay.”
One finger slides in there easily. Harua furrows his brows, the one finger not doing too much but Maki’s fingers being long is playing a huge part of touching his walls so right. Maki thrusted his finger in slowly while he picked up Harua’s left leg with his free hand. He places light kisses on his inner thigh all while adding a second finger inside of Harua. Harua moves down onto him, soft low moans spilling from out of his mouth, finally feeling the stretch.
When Maki adds a third finger, he sucks down on Harua’s thigh and thrusted his fingers inside of him at a steady pace. Harua arches his back and a loud moan startles from out of him, “ngh! Maki!”
Maki hums against his thigh, continuing to place more marks on there, perfectly where no one would be able to see it. His prepping was steady, his attention to his thigh gave him sensitivity but he shakes once Maki suddenly finds his prostate, another loud moan escaping from his wide mouth, “Yes~ right there!”
And then he pulls out, leaving Harua without an orgasm. Harua glares at him and Maki chuckles, “I need to eat you out, really bad. Please?” He pulls those puppy eyes again, pleading and Harua just can’t deny that look.
He nodded without a word, too choked up to really say much.
Maki goes down on him like a starved man. The lube enhanced the wetness but Maki made sure to make it extra wet, good enough to slide his tongue right into his hole and start thrusting it into him.
“Riki! Ngh– Maki!” He moans his name so high pitched, a whole new sound coming from him that he never knew he could make. He covers mouth to lower himself from being too loud. Maki makes it harder for him to do so though, because he slides his fingers back into him along with his mouth on his entrance and Harua almost screams, suddenly cuming untouched, cum spilling everywhere on his stomach. Maki moves away and lets Harua breathe and calm down.
He kisses his skin to help the process, licking him clean all the while, and marking him in places no one could see.
After coming down from his high, Harua stared at Maki hard, “Fuck me now, Maki. I don’t want to wait anymore,”
Maki hovers over him now, laying between his legs, both arms placed on the sides of Harua’s head, “anything you want, love.” He kisses him for a short while, those cute, small, plump lips he can’t help but to kiss, then pulls away. He grabs the condom and rips it open, their bodies buzzing with anticipation and the longer he takes to put on the condom, the more eager they get.
Harua is waiting spread open for him and Maki’s dick twitches way too much at the sight of Harua spread out for him. Once the condom is on along with lube spread all over his dick, Maki hovers over him again. One hand on his waist and another holding his dick to guide it into Harua’s hole. The slide had Harua clinching his bedsheets and tears forming in his eyes, he arches and spreads himself wider, so overwhelmed by the size, he shakes, trembles in Maki’s hold.
When Maki makes one good push into him fully with a whimper and grunt, Harua moans so loudly, he’s sure their members heard it. He’s shaking so hard, Maki leaning forward so his skin could touch his and his body could swallow his lovers.
“You okay, Rua? Need me to wait?”
“No!” He whines, shaky arms going around Maki’s shoulders to hold him close, “Don’t stop fucking me.”
He’s shaking in his hold from the overstimulation but Harua wants him to keep going, to keep fucking him. And Maki doesn’t mind at all. It was shallow thrust at first, keeping it steady and slow so Harua could get used to it. But both he and Maki are moaning and desperate to let the pace be so slow. Maki sits up and grabs both of Harua’s legs and places them over his shoulders. His big hands hold his waist, completely covering it with a tight grip and then he thrusts. Sharp, deep, fast, and everywhere in Harua’s walls.
“H-Harua, fuck! You feel so good, baby” He moans, his language switching from Japanese to English to Japanese again and Harua gets even more turned on by it.
Maki pounds into him fast, changing his angle as he presses his thumbs on Harua’s abdomen. Maki hits his prostate repeatedly and Harua jolts at the added pressure of Maki’s thumbs. His back creates a perfect bow, and his throat begins to hoarse as the pleasure takes over him with every thrust, “Maki– ngh! Maki– mh!, M-Maki!”
His name is being moaned like a ritual and it’s only encouraging Maki to go faster, Harua’s bed hitting the wall and it’s loud just like everything else in the room. Wet, heavy breaths, loud moans, and skin slapping. Harua’s dick twitches and he cums, squirts of it flying between Maki’s and his stomachs. Maki groans at the sight, his own dick twitching inside of Harua, throwing his head back and tensing as he releases his seed inside of the condom, thrust slowing down as both of them catch their breaths.
When Maki finally stops, they’re spent. Maki falls on top of the smaller and Harua grunts, feeling Maki’s dick inside of him still twitching from his orgasm. He clinches around him and Maki whimpers, “Shit, Harua. You’ll create a problem if you keep doing that,” Maki looks up at him finally and warns him.
Harua gives him a challenging look, “what if I want that, hm?”
Maki kisses him passionately, both moaning when Maki intentionally thrusts once more inside of him. He pulls away afterwards then pulls out. Harua groans when he pulls out and frowns a little, only for a few seconds. Though he’s sure Maki saw his face once he pulled out.
“I wouldn’t mind that at all but I’m sure the members would mind,” Maki chuckles, flushing a bit because they weren’t exactly quiet.
Harua also blushed, “You think they heard us?” He asked in a whisper, which is ironic coming from the one who was just screaming Maki’s name a few minutes ago.
Maki takes the condom off and ties it, throwing it in the trash bin next to Harua's bed. There was a tissue box on the dresser so he takes a few tissues from there and starts to clean his lover with them, enough for him to not be uncomfortable by the loads of bodily fluids that came from them. Maki laughs softly, “Baby, I’m pretty sure they did.”
Harua groans, turning on his stomach as Maki slides back into bed right beside him. Once Maki settles, Harua cuddles up to him, one leg flying onto Maki’s stomach and arms locking behind Maki’s neck. Maki returns his hold by wrapping his arms around his waist. Maki pecks his forehead and sighs contentedly, snuggling into his lover's bed.
“I’m going to hear so much shit from Yuma,” Harua laughs to himself, and buries his face into Maki’s neck.
“And why is that?” Maki questioned.
“Don’t worry about it,” Harua shushed him, “Just lay with me now and forever,”
“Always forever, love. Always.”
Maki pecks those soft lips onto his forehead and Harua sighs in peace as his heart buzzes with tingles as he lies there skin to skin with his lover.
This is right where he always needed to be, in Maki’s arms.
♡
Yuma did give him shit for it the next day.
He caught Harua in the kitchen that afternoon after being asleep the entire morning with his boyfriend which is expected considering their activities last night. Yuma steps in front of him while he observes his figure and sees just peaks of the evidence from last night on Harua’s body. That, on top of the noise, was already proof enough that, yes, Yuma was right and now he’s about to hear about it.
“I told you sooo.”
And there it was.
Harua rolls his eyes and sighs, “yeah, I know, I know,”
“So pay up,” Yuma holds a hand out in front of Harua with a smirk.
Harua snorts, “since when was money in the equation?”
“Since the moment I said “I told you so”. Pay up,” he flexes his hand in a grab motion.
Harua rolls his eyes again, “No.”
He gives him 7,000 yen anyways.
– fin