Chapter Text
Raffy didn't plan on going out. His mood was terrible. The rehearsal went awful, as Jack was still ignoring him for Dean. So when Pete asked him to join the crew for drinks, Raffy’s first instinct was to say no.
Somehow he got persuaded with a vision of getting black out drunk and found himself squeezed between Arnold and Tua. He felt awkward, acting like a barrier between the two. He thought he would have to endure them constantly communicating, but surprisingly they weren't talking to each other.
Normally, Raffy would love to poke around and find out what the deal was. He was not interested in the slightest.
Music was loud, the lights blinked in different colors. People were talking loudly, almost screaming. If not for Arnold’s and Tua’s silence, Raffy would lose his mind.
Raffy was forced to watch how Pete was getting worked up in entertaining Rome. Raffy should just get drunk, but even drinking was troublesome. He was sipping his drink slowly, making almost no progress. No one else seemed to have the same troubles, drinks were poured and devoured quickly.
“You okay?”
Raffy turned to his left to see Arnold waiting for an answer. “Yeah.”
“You sure? You don't look so well.” Arnold looked genuinely worried.
Raffy rolled his eyes. He probably should be grateful that someone worried about him, but it pissed him off even more. “I’m fine,” he said, way meaner than necessary.
“Okay. Just, if you need something, just say.” Arnold was clearly not ready to give up.
Raffy nodded in hopes of being left alone again. Fortunately it worked.
It was only Raffy and his thoughts again. He mostly looked at his half empty glass. Sometimes he sneaked a peak at Rome. Seeing him all giggly, eating up every word that Pete was saying annoyed Raffy immensely.
As the evening progressed, people were talking, dancing, leaving the table for more drinks. Yet Raffy remained in his seat, with the same glass, still not entirely empty.
He didn't even register that Arnold was gone.
Rome finished up his glass and swiftly moved from the other side of the table to sit beside Raffy.
“Is the evening not up to your standard?”
Raffy turned his head, Rome was all smug, resting his elbow on the backrest, his head turned a little, with a pout on his face. Raffy knew Rome was at least tipsy.
“Why do you care?” asked Raffy. He stared at him, a fake smile shining.
“Oh, I didn't know I wasn't allowed to ask questions now. Well, maybe if you didn't look like a pale ghost for the whole evening, I wouldn't be interested.”
“Don’t you have something to do?” Raffy snarked.
Rome raised his eyebrow, then licked his lips. “Oh, is that what's on your mind?” He ran his fingers up and down Raffy’s thigh.
Raffy smacked his hand, nervously looking around. “Are you crazy?!”
Rome shrugged his shoulders. “What? Everyone is busy.” He tried to grab Raffy again, but Arnold came back.
“Do you guys–?”
“No, we’re done,” Raffy answered before Arnold could finish his question. “Rome was just leaving.”
Rome raised his hands in defeat and left.
Arnold put down drinks on the table and sat down. “I didn't know you two were close.”
“We’re not.”
“Let me rephrase that, I didn't know you two even spoke to each other. But I guess you’ll be forced to if he gets with Pete.” Arnold casually sipped his beer, when Raffy turned his head so fast he almost got a whiplash.
“What do you mean?”
“Oh? I thought… I guess I should stop assuming things to not get surprised when something turns out to be completely wrong.” Arnold gripped the bottle too hard.
Raffy fought himself for a moment, but ultimately decided that he needed to listen to problems that were not his. “What’s that about?”
“You actually want to hear about it?” Arnold asked, surprised.
“No,” Raffy said bluntly. “I don't have anything better to do. And you look like you need to talk about it or you’ll explode.”
Arnold laughed under his nose. “Usually I would talk with Tua. I would tell him what's wrong, but now…”
“He’s the problem?”
“Not the problem. It's just…” Arnold hesitated, Raffy wasn't an ideal partner for a conversation, but the only one available, so he decided to continue. “Do you know why I decided to join the play?”
“I never cared.” Raffy wasn’t the one to beat around the bush.
Arnold should’ve expected that, unmoved he continued, “Jeez, it’s so stupid.”
Raffy thought so, but somehow held back from saying that out loud.
“Tua said that the actors will be paid for their role, so I thought to myself, why not. Then Jack chose me and I actually got excited for it. I thought it was all going so well. And then I’ve learned no one is actually getting paid.”
“Wait, so you’re mad, because you’re not getting paid?” Raffy asked, confused a little.
“No, the problem is I got paid. Because Tua did it! He not only fabricated a lie, but also spent his money on it. It pissed me off! Like… I was bought or something.” Arnold dragged his finger along the bottle.
“Since you’re getting the money, what's there to be mad about?” Raffy looked at him, this time very confused. “You got the role, you got the money. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
Arnold opened his mouth shocked. “Don’t you see a whole problem there? Tua lied!”
“Yeah, because he wanted to stare at you like crazy during his work hours.” Raffy finally drank the last of his drink. “You needed money, he gave it to you.”
“But I don’t want his money! I don’t need help like this!” Arnold protested.
“Then leave. The play,” Raffy specified when Arnold looked at him lost.
“I can’t leave. Jack would be screwed without a second Romeo, man! Or maybe you and Dean could play the main roles…” He started to think out loud.
Panic set in Raffy’s mind. “Stay!” It was not a statement, it was a demand. Vision of a universe where he would be paired with none other than Dean to play his romantic interest disgusted Raffy more than anything. “Just tell Tua to not pay you anymore. Or get over yourself and take the money.” Raffy stood up.
“Where are you going?”
“Not here,” said Raffy.
He forced his way through the students and got out to feel some fresh air. It wasn’t really cold but the strong wind made the temperature a little more chilly than usual, making Raffy grateful he put a cardigan on.
Raffy leaned against the wall and took a deep breath in. Nothing was going the way he wanted. He felt that the more he tried the more everything backfired on him. Raffy enjoyed his moment alone, away from the noise, when the door opened and a person beside him appeared. He was ready to make a comment, when he realized it wasn’t the person he expected to see. The guy standing beside Raffy was not Rome, but Jack.
Raffy quickly closed his mouth, glad he didn’t utter a word yet.
Jack looked at him and offered a cigarette, Raffy shook his head. “Today was weird,” Jack spoke up.
“It was,” he agreed. Raffy studied Jack’s posture, he looked stressed.
There it was. The perfect opportunity to say something. To speak up and not get ignored.
Raffy realized he didn’t actually know what he wanted to say. He thought about saying something to make Jack annoyed with Dean even more, but decided against it. He wasn’t in the mood to stir up trouble. As much as Raffy would love to blame everyone around him for it, he was mostly mad at himself. He felt worthless. Not being able to live up to his mom’s standards. Not being able to live up to his own standards.
Raffy wanted to bang his head against the brick wall.
But mostly he wanted to leave.
His head hurt, being occupied by so many thoughts, some of them he didn’t understand. Some of them Raffy tried to bury deep down to never think about again.
“Are you okay?”
Raffy started to really hate that question. “Yeah, just tired. I think I should go.”
Jack was surprised by that statement. “See you tomorrow?” He asked, smiling lightly.
Raffy nodded, but he couldn’t even bring himself to smile back.
He went back inside to collect his things, so ready for the evening to be over. Raffy grabbed his back and pulled out a phone, when he realized the whole club got suspiciously quiet. He looked around to see most of his friends were gone.
Raffy heard commotion coming from the outside, curiosity got the best of him and he followed the sound of ruckus. He wasn’t really focusing on what was actually happening.
People were gathered around some guys arguing. Raffy heard a couple words like ‘brother’, ‘crazy’ and other things that sounded like threats. He was focused on dialing a number, but when his call declined for a second time he finally looked up from his phone.
Raffy saw Pete, Rome and a third guy he’s never seen before. Before his mind registered exactly what was happening, the unknown guy pushed Rome back. Hard.
Rome fell down, his head hitting the ground.
Raffy blinked in shock. He tried to process what happened, then suddenly, all he was able to see was blood.