Chapter Text
It starts out innocent enough. Because it'd been Victoria who initiated, Cassie had little reason to suspect there were ulterior motives at play when the call had come through at eleven p.m., snapping her out of what had already been a turbulent slumber. She blinks a few times, her eyesight adjusting to the darkness as she hits the "accept call" icon, all the while not even bothering to check who'd rang.
"Yeah?" Cassie's voice, thick with sleep, cuts through the late night silence.
"It's Victoria."
The voice on the other end is shaky and out-of-breath. Had Victoria been crying?
"Vic... shit, you're not in trouble are you?" Cassie finds herself sitting up instinctively, the traces of her previous exhaustion beginning to slowly fade.
"No. I just—" A deep breath permeates the pause hanging in the air. "Sorry I woke you."
"Don't apologize. I wasn't fully asleep yet anyway," Cassie lies, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand and trying her best not to sound tired. "You need something?"
"Honestly, no." Victoria lets out another sigh. "Okay, well, maybe."
"Shoot."
"You know Mateo?"
In the darkness, Cassie's features pull into a small frown. "Yeah, I'm familiar," she says, slightly sarcastically. Of course she knows Mateo.
"It's—" Victoria's voice drops a few notes, and Cassie has to hold the phone right up next to her ear. "If I tell you something you have to promise me that you won't judge me. I swear to God, Cass—"
"Okay, okay. I promise."
"We went out," Victoria starts, attempting to even out her breathing, "a few times, I guess."
"You like him, don't you?"
"No. Yes. I don't know. That's not the point."
Cassie pauses, letting the moment sink in for a few seconds. "What's going on?"
"He's great," Victoria continues, still catching her breath. "Really great. Like, nice and everything. He's—God, he's..."
"Vic, you're rambling."
"Sorry."
Cassie can feel her heart thumping against her chest, anticipation building in her gut. "You trust me, right?"
Victoria's reply comes almost instantaneously. "Of course."
"Then tell me what's on your mind."
"You're gonna think I'm gross."
"Try me."
A minute or so passes before Victoria speaks again, her voice still unsteady. "He kissed me," she says meekly, "and it felt good at first. The way he was holding me, talking me through it."
Cassie doesn't say anything because there's not really much she can say. She'd expected it to happen sooner or later; she'd noticed how much time Victoria and Mateo had been spending together, both at work and outside of it. The thought had crept into her mind every so often. Victoria and Mateo. Even their names sound good together. And it isn't as if Mateo is just any other boy. But still, she can't shake the small pit of disappointment taking root inside of her at Victoria's words.
"And I wanted to kiss him." Victoria breaks through the silence. "It's not like he forced me or anything. But it was supposed to feel different. I was supposed to feel different."
"How'd you feel?" Cassie presses, her heart still beating fast like at any moment it might break free.
"I don't know. Weird," Victoria says, her voice almost reduced to nothing. "I closed my eyes and I pictured you. It's like the whole time I was kissing him, my brain just wanted it to be you instead."
This revelation makes Cassie jump, and it feels like she's being pulled out of her body. None of this is real, she tells herself. You're still asleep. This is all just one big weird dream.
But of course she knows that isn't true. This is unfolding all at once, and too quickly for her to register any of it. "Is that why you called me?" Cassie asks tentatively, not sure she's ready to hear the answer.
"I don't know. Probably. I just had to speak to you. I wanted to hear your voice." When Cassie doesn't answer, Victoria continues. "I wish I was there with you."
"Vic. This isn't a good idea. Whatever it is you think you want, you don't actually want it." Cassie's words tumble out like she's trying to convince herself of them.
"I don't know what I want." Through her phone, Cassie can hear Victoria's voice growing hoarse, and the young woman chokes out a quiet sob. "I guess I thought calling you might help me figure all of this shit out."
Cassie's cheeks burn. "I'm sorry I don't have more to say."
She hates how pathetic she sounds. As the older of the two, she's the one who should have all the answers. But she's left sitting on her bed, dumbfounded and speechless with her phone pressed to her ear. She's lucky she doesn't have Harrison with her this week. The thought of her son being anywhere near her at a time like this makes her sick to her stomach.
"I should go," Victoria says lightly. "I'm sorry I called; it was stupid anyway."
She doesn't give Cassie enough time to respond before hanging up, and the whole bedroom is blanketed in an eerie silence once more. Cassie lets the hand holding her phone drop carelessly to the bed. The only thought echoing through her brain is a resounding "what the fuck?"
And amongst the sea of emotions she can't quite place, something she can name creeps to the forefront of her body. A budding hunger taking up residence. Heat pooling between her thighs and a blush reddening her face. She feels nauseous at the thought that she had wanted this more than she could've ever possibly imagined. That she had wanted Victoria to want her.
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Cassie's day is fairly monotonous. Or as monotonous as it gets working in the ED. She goes through the motions, trying her best to focus on her patients, all the while not allowing herself even a second to let her mind wander back to the events of the previous night.
It's difficult, especially when everywhere she turns, Victoria is standing right in front of her. It's almost comical how achingly small the department seems when Cassie's attempting to avoid someone; the already tight space feels entirely too much like a prison cell. She'd laugh if she wasn't about to cry.
When the coast seems clear, she gives herself a five minute break - just enough time to head to the bathroom to take a breather. She pushes the door open, making her way over to the row of sinks. Her fingers dig into the sides of the porcelain basin, and she glances up at the tired woman staring back at her. Earlier, Samira had commented on how rough she looked. Now, coming face-to-face with her reflection, Cassie realizes just how weary she must seem to everyone around her.
Only a few seconds pass before the bathroom door swings open again. Cassie silently curses when she sees who it is. She takes a deep breath; she might as well get it over with and break the escalating tension that had been simmering between them all day.
"Hey, Vic." She hates how much her voice trembles when she speaks.
"Hey." Victoria's right next to her in an instant, their elbows brushing against each other. "Sorry if I made things weird," she says softly, not making eye contact with Cassie. Instead she looks straight ahead at the mirror.
"You didn't," Cassie sighs. Their arms are touching and although the close proximity hurts, she doesn't move away. "I mean if anything, you made things too real."
"That's... probably not a good thing."
"Well, no," Cassie says, determined not to break their streak of avoiding each other's gaze, "probably not."
Victoria's the first one to turn her head, just slightly, catching Cassie's eye in the mirror. "Told you you'd think I was gross."
"If I'm being honest here, I kind of hate that I don't."
This makes Victoria turn until she's fully facing Cassie. She reaches out and gives Cassie's hand a squeeze, a gesture that makes the woman internally jump. She isn't supposed to be seeking refuge in Victoria's touch, nor letting herself be so affected by her. The very fact that it's Victoria who's leading makes her feel even more pathetic - she should've seen the signs and shut things down right from the start. She should've known before Victoria had even made the call in the first place.
Still, she doesn't object to Victoria moving closer and closer until they're sharing the same breaths and she can see the specks of gold in the younger woman's brown eyes. She doesn't pull away when Victoria's mouth presses against hers, her hands coming up to rest on Victoria's hips. She finds herself instinctively bringing Victoria closer to her until the small amount of space left between them disappears completely, as if this was always meant to happen, as if she'd been waiting. She had.
Victoria gasps against Cassie's mouth, her own hands already slipping beneath the hem of Cassie's shirt. Though Cassie can feel herself sinking deeper into the clutches of this moment, she's the one who breaks the kiss after only a few minutes, leaving both of them catching their breaths. They're still close, still holding each other, and Victoria smiles against her cheek.
"I should've asked first," she says lightly, despite the tiny grin on her face.
"No, it's okay." Cassie's still flushed from the kiss, and her skin feels too hot, especially beneath the touch of Victoria's much cooler hands. "I need some air." The crackling electricity fizzles slightly when Cassie pulls away completely, but to quell some of Victoria's - and her - disappointment, she says over her shoulder as she's leaving, "Call me after work?"
Privately, Cassie wonders if this had been what Victoria was searching for, the type of sensation she'd pictured when she'd kissed Mateo.
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When the call comes through that night, Cassie knows who to expect but not what to expect. She picks up her phone seconds after she hears it buzzing, her body taut with nervous energy.
"Hey," she says, trying her best not to sound like an anxious wreck.
"This a good time?" Victoria asks.
"Yep." She leans back against her bed frame, stretching out her legs. She's still wearing her scrubs - they're comfortable enough and she hadn't been bothered to change after work.
"Are you—?" Victoria starts, a small amount of doubt creeping into her voice. "You left pretty quickly after I kissed you."
"I know, I just... I needed time to think," Cassie sighs, her heartbeat picking up its pace. "I like you, Vic. Way too much for my own good. Too much for your own good. When you called me the other night, I can't even tell you how much I thought about it after."
Cassie can practically hear the smile in Victoria's voice when she asks, "Really?"
"Sometimes I feel like I'm being tortured. In a good way. Sort of."
When Cassie pauses, Victoria is quick to continue. "Can I torture you some more, then?" she says.
Cassie's body grows warmer. "Who am I to say no to that?"
"I think about you all the time," Victoria sighs, her voice so sweet that it feels almost poisonous. "Like, what you're wearing. What you're doing. Who you're with."
"I'd hate to let you down," Cassie mutters, a smile playing on her lips, "but I think I'm pretty boring."
"Not to me."
That same ache between Cassie's thighs from the previous night makes its return. She feels it reverberating through her body, rendering her weak to its pull.
"I sound pretty good from your perspective."
"You are," Victoria says quietly, "and I felt it when I kissed you. What I was supposed to feel."
Cassie can feel her face getting hotter at the confirmation, her stomach clenching. Silently, she dips a hand beneath the waistband of her scrub pants, testing the waters. "Yeah?" she breathes. She knows she's sick for this, but the sensation is getting harder to push down and ignore.
"I wish you'd stayed longer."
Cassie's pinkie drags past the strip of material at the top of her underwear and she lets out a small sigh. "I'm starting to wish I did too."
"I guess it's not like we could've really done anything more than that."
"Maybe not there but you're alone, right?"
"Uh-huh," Victoria says.
"Good."
The pent-up energy bubbling inside of Cassie is beginning to reach a peak. "I think you should—" she forces out, her breathing already becoming erratic, "—tell me more about—"
Victoria laughs, and somehow this quenches some of Cassie's hesitation. "Oh my God. Are you getting off to this?"
Cassie shoves her hand further between her legs, her clit swollen and sensitive to the touch when she prods it lightly. "You got to weird me out last night. I'm returning the favor."
"I wasn't jerking off when I called you."
"No, but the point still stands."
"Okay, okay. Jesus. I didn't realize you were such a freak."
In Victoria's defense, Cassie hadn't realized it either. It had been a feeling that crashed down on her all of a sudden, enveloping her entirely until her all of her body had been screaming at her for release. Her free hand comes up to cup her breast through her shirt and she can feel the softness of the fabric as her nipples press against it. Her phone is balanced in front of her on the bed as she listens to Victoria's voice coming through the speaker, and it pings with a notification.
"I sent you something," Victoria says playfully, "since you wanna go there."
Cassie clicks on the message icon and her chest tightens. "Shit."
She stares at the photo with wide eyes, at the dips of Victoria's collarbones, at the swell of her breasts in the dim lighting of her bedroom, and she silently marvels at how velvety and smooth her skin looks.
"You look—"
"Don't talk," Victoria says. "If you're gonna come to my photo, I wanna hear you."
Cassie's never done anything like this before, but it's a little too late for overthinking with her hand already curled between her thighs, her underwear soaked with desire.
She bites back muffled whines, angling her hips upward as she grinds against her fingers, mentally replacing them with Victoria's. She can't tear her eyes away from the photo nor suppress the feeling it brings her. This moment would've only been amplified had Victoria been here with her, hands around her like they had been earlier that day.
It's filthy, but Cassie relishes in the fact that they'd gotten this far. What had once been a distant fantasy for the both of them is now breaching containment and leaking messily into their reality.
Cassie pants breathlessly at the touch of her own hand, her chest heaving with each gentle stroke. She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip until she tastes a bit of blood on her tongue, swallowing hard. Through her phone, she can hear the sound of Victoria's barely audible whimpers, and it only pushes her further, the fingers working her cunt adding more pressure with each thrust.
She tries to match her breathing with Victoria's, and for a moment, she's transported back to the bathroom, where the two of them had been so close that they'd shared the air between them.
Cassie's back arches, her head fully tipping against the bed frame and her eyes squeezing shut. Even with them closed, the image of Victoria still burns inside of her, forever etched into her mind like a stone carving. Pleasure courses through her veins, and she exhales sharply as she finishes with a violent jolt of her hips, her thighs spasming. Seconds later, she can hear Victoria let out one final content breath, followed by the rustle of her bedsheets. Cassie's fingers are slick with her arousal when she pulls them out, her ears ringing and vision blurring at the edges.
She's still coming down from her high, head reeling when Victoria shatters the silence with a voice that's still short-winded. "Was it that good?" she asks, because neither of them really know what to say in a moment like this. Her tone still carries its playful and giddy edge.
"Yeah," Cassie says, struggling to think straight as she draws short gasps of air into her lungs. "Better than good."
She can feel Victoria's presence clinging to the space around her even after she hangs up the phone, picking it back up with one hand. She'd revisit Victoria's picture later, probably with a hand between her thighs and the desperate wish that this would become part of both of their routines. She's in too deep.