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The first time she remembers it happening is in the bathroom at school during the humiliation ritual known as asking a girl she doesn't know for a tampon.
She gets her period early, because of course she does, it's irregular all of the time. Whether it be the addict best friend, the drunk mom, or the erratic sister of it all—she's always stressed for one reason or another.
"Why would you think I have one?" the girl asks around the applicator of her lipgloss. She smacks her lips together twice before giving Lexi a side-eye in the mirror. "I mean I could, like, charge two dollars for it."
It's completely anti-feminist, all of it. The lack of free period products in the restrooms, girls and boys alike, and the fact that she now has to dig through her purse for some crumpled bills just so she doesn't leak right through her pants. Why they couldn't all just be kind to each other, she didn't know. Maddy had never charged for tampons, and her lipgloss was shinier.
"I only have a five," Lexi huffs, because she's not expecting change for it. "Can I please just have the tampon?"
The girl's friend, who had been mindlessly tapping away on her phone the entire time the interaction had been occurring, suddenly looks up so fast that her pink hair smacks her in the forehead.
"Dude," she drawls.
"What?" the girl asks, slowly screwing the cap back onto her blush.
"That's, like, the drug dealer's girl."
Lexi raises her eyebrows. She ignores the shock and slight blush she feels on her face to instead focus on how what that girl just said sounded like bad dialogue from a romance novel. The drug dealer's girl. First of all, that wasn't his name, and second of all, how would they even know?
"So?"
"So you don't want him to up-charge us at the next party or something."
Lexi is just starting to regret asking in the first place when she's suddenly being given two tampons, as well as a small baggie of what appears to be Advil.
"Tell your boyfriend to give us a discount next time," the girl says with a wink.
"Right. Thanks."
She walks back into the stall, already fishing her phone out to text said drug dealer to never, actually, interact with these girls unless he absolutely has to.
-
She's sitting on the couch at a party with her friends when it comes up.
"I just don't understand!" she shouts over the loud music. "How does anyone even know about it?"
"Uh, Lex," Rue says in her duh voice.
"What?"
"He came to your play. People know him, in case you forgot."
"I think it's kinda cool," Elliot adds while rolling a joint. "Gives you some sort of immunity belt."
Lexi doesn't really know why he's talking, he barely knows her or her boyfriend, but she figures she did open the conversation to comments.
"Like a protection charm! That's so cute," Jules squeals, jostling Rue's arm.
As if on command, her boyfriend sits back down in the space next to her, wad of cash in hand that hadn't been there when he left. He's thumbing through the bills with one hand, and the other slinks around Lexi's shoulders like it's supposed to be there.
"Seems pretty obvious to me," Rue says with a shrug.
"Watchu on about, kid?" Fez asks, taking a hit of his own joint and aiming the smoke carefully away from Lexi's face.
"Your girlfriend's got people afraid of her now."
Fez raises his eyebrow, angling a teasing glance directly at Lexi. She swallows abruptly, turning slightly so that she doesn't have to face it. Of course he knows about what happened in the bathroom, she tells Fez just about everything.
"Man, you got weird people in that school of yours," he says to Rue.
"Weird people that you make your living off of."
"Dumb people that I make my living off," he corrects, fiddling with the ends of Lexi's hair. "Ash is up in here making stacks of bills with all the extra change these drunk shitheads keep accidentally givin' us."
"Faye will be happy about that," Lexi hums. "You can put her cereal into the grocery budget this week."
Fez rolls his eyes, because despite the fact that he had grown a soft spot for Faye, Lexi knew she still had a tendency to bother him.
"Look, all I'm saying is that maybe people will finally stop asking you a million questions about Cassie now that they know they're fucking with the local drug dealer's girlfriend," Jules says.
"You right about that, Jewel."
Lexi sighs, burrows her face deeper into the crook of Fez's shoulder, and worries silently about her sister.
-
When she saw him sitting attentively in the seat she had saved for him during her play, her heart did what could only be described as somersaults.
She had been hugged by Rue, Maddy, Kat, and Jules after it was all over, but the whole time her eyes had been locked on his. Shyly waiting his turn from behind the auditorium doors, one hand in his suit pocket while the other clutched something that she couldn't see.
When Jules finally, finally, let her go, Lexi took a moment to smooth out the dress she changed into, as well as toss her hair back to make it look less like a mess after the amount of work that had been done to it during hair and makeup.
She felt the stutter of her breath as she walked up the aisle and pushed open the double doors. He looked really good in the suit. Lexi knew she was blushing, and she knew she must have looked like a fool.
Still, Fez handed her flowers. A big red bouquet with white detailing, like the ones in the movies. Attached to the stems was a note with her name tagged on it, and she had to stop herself from opening it right then and there.
"That was fuckin' amazing, Lexi Howard," he told her carefully.
"You didn't think it was too much?" she asked, because if there was one bad habit she could never kick, it was the need for reassurance.
"Made me want to ask too much questions about your life, is what it was."
She ignored his grammar mistake for the sake of the way it made her heart leap, and she very carefully placed the flowers at her feet before stepping closer to hug him.
"Fuckin' fearless," he said into her hair. "Just like I told you."
After that, it took them another month to confirm exactly what they were to each other. When they finally did kiss in his car, he had pulled away muttering a question that included the words "my girl" in it, and she had said yes so quickly it made her own head spin.
-
People continued to talk.
She saw the looks in the hallways. Her friends texted her about some of the crazy things they would hear people say. Someone had even gone as far as to say that their spending time together was some fucked up way of Lexi paying off Rue's drug debt.
Lexi...didn't really pay much attention to it, to say the least. She was used to being invisible, and the play sort of blew that cover up in her face, but the comments were surprisingly easy to ignore. She never thought she would deal with even an ounce of popularity well, despite longing for it several times while growing up. However, it was almost fun to hear people think that they knew what her and Fez shared. It felt like a secret that only the two of them were in on.
The second time it happens to her face, she's at Fez's store.
She's sitting on the freezer doing her homework when a guy that she recognizes from third period approaches her.
"Hey, Lexi," he says warmly.
"Hi?"
She notices Fez shift out of her peripherals. He had been stocking the shelves with more liquor, occasionally asking her to read out a passage from her school-assigned war novel. Now he's just standing with a singular bottle in his hand, watching.
"I just had a quick question for you."
She narrows her eyes, because this kid has never spoken to her despite being in the same class since September. Before she can say anything, the kid is turning to take a glance at Fez, and she immediately has the feeling the question is going to be about discounted drugs.
When he turns his head back to her, she looks unamused. Fez has taken a small step closer.
"Just a quick one," he says again, almost nervously.
"Um, go ahead?"
"Did you happen to get the notes from class today?"
She feels her jaw drop slightly. She shoots a look at Fez, and his expression is clouded over with confusion.
"...What?"
"You know, the ones about Margaret Sanger?" he says quickly. "I know we aren't, like, friends, but...nobody I know took down the right parts for the test."
She absentmindedly begins to reach for her notebook without pulling her gaze away from the kid's face.
"I can pay for them," he says, turning back around to look at Fez.
Fez makes a face and rolls his eyes before turning back to the freezer, ripping open another pack of beer to fill the second row of the cooler.
"You don't have to pay for them. Here, take pictures of what you need," Lexi says, pushing her notebook forward.
"Thank you so much," the kid breathes, like a sigh of relief.
When he finishes up taking photos of what he needs, he's thanking her a million times over and calling her his savior before turning around to walk out the door.
"I meant savior in, like, an academic sense," he says to Fez before he goes. "I don't want any trouble at the next party we're at."
Lexi can't focus on her homework after he leaves. Fez is making disgruntled noises about how weird people can be, but she's too busy thinking about the implications of that guy's last statement.
-
"People think you beat up Nate because he touched me," she tells Fez randomly one day.
They're sitting on his couch, Faye in the other room doing dishes, Ash at the table sorting pills that Lexi couldn't even imagine the names of. The credits of The Breakfast Club are playing on the television.
Fez nearly chokes on his smoke, which Lexi thinks is crazy, because she's never seen him waver like that.
"Come a-fuckin'-gain?"
"New Years," she repeats, like it's obvious. "They think you beat up Nate because he touched me. Like when he tried to finger Rue in middle school."
"He tried to do what with Rue?"
"Oh. Sorry. I thought it was common knowledge."
Fez sighs, eyebrows pinched together.
"What kinda fucked up shit goes on in that house? I swear, man."
"Yeah, Nate's weird," Lexi says quickly, actively ignoring the fact that Cassie's currently at his house. "Anyway, that's why that guy from my class said that at the store last week. He thinks if he looks at me wrong then he's next."
"Well, he ain't wrong about that, Lexi."
She ignores the way her face flushes.
"The point is, that isn't true. You beat him up for Rue."
"And Jewel. He was up fuckin' with her too."
"You didn't know that yet, though."
Fez considers this before nodding.
"You right. As always."
"People are running with this. Like, completely taking shit out of left field," she says, running her fingers over the hem of his sweater. "I wonder if this is how Cassie feels all of the time."
"You can start denyin' that shit, Lexi," he tells her. "Just ain't promising that if the time comes, I won't be beatin' someone up at some party."
She slips her fingers under his shirt and files the small noise he makes into her mental Fez folder. It had sounded like a cough, or a clearing of his throat. Maybe an inhale.
"I don't want to deny it," she stresses.
"Right, but when they go 'round saying he got you pregnant, then you gon' lose your cool," Ashtray grumbles suddenly, walking into the kitchen to grab one of the brownies that Lexi brought over.
"Yo," Fez says. "Chill, bro. That's fuckin' crazy."
"No, he's right. That will happen," she says solemnly.
"Too young to be doin' that Little House on the Prairie shit yet, kid. Too smart for it, too."
"I'm not saying I want you to get me pregnant right now," she explains, and then cringes, because she can't believe they're having this conversation with his little brother right in the next room. "I'm just saying that's the eventual next step."
"Next step?" Fez teases.
She pulls her hand from under his shirt and swats at his shoulder indignantly.
"In rumors! Not in life!"
He's chuckling then, hissing the laugh between his teeth in the way that Lexi loves. With the arm that's wrapped around her, he's taking her hand and trying to put it back to where it had been before. That gets filed into the folder as well.
"I'm just gonna let people talk. I like that people know," she mumbles decidedly.
"Know what?"
"You're as dumb as a fox. You just want me to say it."
"Say what, Lexi Howard?"
She shudders slightly at his tone and nudges her head against his chest. She's gotten pretty good at this whole girlfriend thing, because it's really not all that different from when they were friends. They still talk everyday, watch movies until late, and fall asleep on the phone together. She just gets to wear his clothes now, kiss him whenever she feels like it, and hold his hand.
(She loved to hold his hand. His rings could ground her more than a deep breath ever could.)
Sometimes, though, he reminded her that things were different, and that he could flirt with her whenever he felt like it.
"You know," she whispers, tracing hearts into his skin.
"Nah. You the smart one here, remember?"
She wants to stop playing their little game to sit up and explain all of the reasons why that's not true, all of the reasons why he is smart. He understands and he listens, he's more emotionally intelligent than anyone she's ever met at her age. He likes movies and poetry, even if he only reads it when she does. He's great at math.
Lexi doesn't say any of it, however, because that's not what he wants to hear.
"I like that they know that I'm your girl," she admits finally.
She feels Fez's smile when he leans down to kiss her forehead, and nothing else matters in the world.
-
"Is that Fezco's sweater?" Jules asks.
Lexi shoves her history book into her backpack and closes her locker, catching a whiff of the familiar cologne that she's come to adore as she does so.
"Yeah," she says simply.
"People are totally gonna think he sold you to a drug ring to pay off my debt now, Lexi," Rue says.
Lexi rolls her eyes, amused.
"Maybe this is the part where they start saying I escaped and stole the evidence."
Jules cracks up at that, and Lexi can't help the laugh that escapes her either. It's absurd, all of it. He had given that to her in the parking lot of the convenience store because he had simply decided she should have it.
Before she goes to class, she makes sure to send a selfie of her and Rue to Fez, both so he can see what she's up to, but also so he can take notice of what she's wearing.
When her phone lights up with a text that reads 'my girl<3,' she doesn't even try to hide her smile.