Chapter Text
There once was a man named ham.
Ham was a kind American.
On his days off he lounged around.
Then ran all throughout town.
Ham played the hambone.
Before he broke his arm bone.
Now ham is sad.
Because he has a cast.
Now nobody will like Ham.
“Ham loves a lot of things. Ham especially loves cheese. He often likes playing the hambone. It goes “ham ham ham!” But now, nobody wants to play with Ham. Everybody points and laughs when they see his cast.”
The therapist nodded back and reviewed the material.
“Yes, I suppose that would be quite hard for you. Is anything else bothering you?”
“No,” replied the tear streaked Ham.
“Well, I think you’re poetry is a good outlet for you. You’re a great poet!” The therapist spat out, completely lying.
“Ham’s sad.”
“I’m sorry, what can I do for you? Do you need any help making friends, or reporting bullies?”
Ham just sat there, not knowing how to respond. The therapist looked down at him with pity waiting for Ham to respond. One minute passed by, then two, then three. Suddenly Ham jumped up, seeming like he just remembered something.
“HAMS HAVING GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE!” Ham excitedly exclaimed. Jumping up and down with pure and utter excitement.
The therapist jumped back, startled, and fell off her chair. Ham continued his uncoordinated hopping, trampling her legs and feet. She began to scream as Ham happily hopped.
“I DON’T NEED THERAPY! YAYYYYYYYY!” Ham exclaimed.
“What in the world are you blabbering about?!?” The woman shouted.
Ham stopped as suddenly as he began.
“Well… Hams happy now! Because Ham's going to go home and eat green bean casserole. So, no more therapy.” Ham said in his usual slow and deliberate speech.
“Then get out of here you madman! You need more therapy than I could ever give you!” The woman shouted, fire in her eyes.
“Okay,” said Ham.
THE END!