Chapter Text
The polite giggles and tittering of the ton failed to reach your chest, even as you laughed with them. Had you not covered your mouth with the embellished silver fan, they would have easily recognized the act behind it. In contrast, your husband’s laughter was pure. A melody so honest that he threw his head back, revealing that charismatic, pearly smile of his. It suited him well. Under the warm Fontanian sunlight, where his ginger fluffed up hair captured every sunray, and where his unblemished face appeared as pale as a dove’s coat, Ajax looked akin to an angel.
The number 11th of the Fatui Harbingers was far from it. You knew that, your heart knew that, every scar on your body knew that. However…
As you looked at him nowadays, your entire chest squeezed with suffocating force, and your heartbeat quickened just a little whenever he laughed. It was love that you felt. Love, you told yourself. After two years of a very turbulent marriage, it had to be. He was the only person you had left. Your only friend. The only constant in your life. Why wouldn’t you love him?
He carried you to bed whenever you fell asleep on the couch. He helped clean your bruises and cuts and he peppered them with kisses. He allowed you to study from the comfort of your home even if exchanging that many letters with professors bothered him a great deal. He took you home to visit your mother’s grave any time you demanded, even in the dead of the night. Ajax did all of that for you.
So despite being kept under a tight lock, and despite running away from him in a blur of raw fear in the past, you loved him.
“Oh we are so glad you decided to spend your vacation here, Lord Tartaglia.” A lord from the Fontanian country-side suddenly said. His cheeks were flushed with red after one too many glasses of wine. Foreigners had terrible tolerance for alcohol. “My wife and I were following the celebration of your two year anniversary very closely. It was a shame that traveling was so difficult at the time because of the White Banister fiasco. We would have loved to see the Capital of Snezhnaya on the evening of the ball.”
Your gaze sought Ajax’s pretty face. It wasn’t the first time you heard that name. The White Banister. No matter how hard he tried to keep you out of Fatui politics, you pieced information together like puzzle pieces, until you had a decent understanding of the situation. After all, the White Banister had almost cost you your entire studies.
As you had to study from home, your primary way of engaging with the university is through letters and textbook materials that the professors send you. It takes a considerable amount of time for your correspondences to cross the sea, and at one point they had stopped arriving completely. Ajax admitted he was stopping your ‘frivolous’ letter exchange with your professors due to privacy risks. The White Banister was digging for information about the Fatui and the Harbingers, and the last thing he wanted was for your home address to be leaked.
Luckily, Ajax changed his mind and decided to take the risk after you stopped speaking to him. It took three days of complete silence for him to act. You had even tried to sleep in a different room. He couldn’t get you to open your mouth and say a single word. Nothing worked; baby-talk, expensive gifts, sweet promises. Not even holding you down against the floor under his entire weight.
“Is that so?” Ajax replied sweetly to the Fontanian lord. His fingers gingerly brushed over your hand before wrapping their lengthy frame around yours. It instantly brought you pain, and you tried to hide your locked jaw behind your fan, rapidly fluttering it at your face.
Ajax continued, his fingers now firmly intertwined with yours. “I heard it was a spectacle. It might surprise you that my wife and I didn’t actually attend the ball.”
He didn’t mean to bring you pain, as he had no clue how sensitive your hand felt. However, it was getting difficult to hide it. At this point, you were convinced he had managed to break a bone by accident. Your finger was a strange blue shade, and it hurt to move it. It was why you wore a silky pair of gloves despite the summer heat.
“You did not attend?” The Fontanian lord gawked. “How so? I’ve heard the entire ordeal was organized by you, Lord Tartaglia.”
“It was,” Ajax admitted with a boyish smile. His eyes pressed closed as he pulled such an innocent expression; his voluminous lashes kissed his cheeks, and you found yourself staring a little too intensely, your chest squeezing anew. “But there were some… complications.” He added carefully. “We ended up celebrating at home.”
The Fontanian lord and his lady exchanged glances. Ones that reminded you of the gossipy exchanges of your maids back in Snezhnaya after you returned from the Capital. They learned you had killed a member of Ajax’s staff whilst being away. They avoided you for a couple of weeks until Ajax reprimanded them for making you feel bad. It was an understatement. Having nobody speak to you but Ajax for those couple of weeks was torture.
“That is a pity,” the Fontanian lord said. “You might miss out on your third anniversary ball like my wife and I have. That is, if you too are blessed with a child by then,” he laughed.
This time, you exchanged a nervous glance with Ajax. Your fan had grown still against your lips, the sweltering heat and the stickiness of your nape becoming too uncomfortable to pass unnoticed.
He studied your expression carefully. The fear in your eyes that often accompanied such a question. The half-concealed scar on your cheek. The white strand amidst the rest of your perfectly healthy hair, evidence of your attempt at escaping his clutches.
“Perhaps,” he hummed out cheerfully. His gaze slipped away from yours, their dead blue hue deserting your stiff figure altogether. “But I don’t think that would require pity. Far from it.”
Your jaw turned tighter as your top and bottom lip pressed together. Ajax raised your hand to his mouth, letting his lips press onto it gently. Despite its softness and the warmth in your chest, anxiety outshined his pretty act.
The ton was watching you with wide smiles now, expecting you to say something witty. Perhaps they wanted you to announce that you were with child already. The thought instantly made you sick.
You playfully smacked your fan against Ajax’s shoulder, forcing out a stiff chuckle. “I don’t like to discuss details about our private lives. And if you will excuse me, I am parched. Ajax, my love.” You added. “Take me to the refreshments?”
You knew he wouldn’t let you go alone. Not with so many people constantly trying to get your attention.
Your husband obliged. After a few more polite words, he took you away from the chattering group and began strolling with you through the lush gardens of Mermonia Palace.
It was a perfect day for the grand theater opening. Sunlight reflected off the numerous fountains perfectly and the colorful flower beds looked as carefully trimmed as the ones in your own garden. It was a miracle you managed to convince Ajax to take you here after last night. For a moment, you were sure he’d be insistent on keeping you locked up indoors all day. Perhaps you should thank Arlecchino. It was the envelope with her signature that somehow managed to convince him.
The female Harbinger was there with you, as well as her two prodigees. Lyney and Lynette. They idled around the palace entrance where the opening banquet was being held, and their presence was the main reason why you insisted on taking a stroll through the gardens in the first place. It would have been nice, if it weren’t for your ‘fans’ stopping you along the way.
“Your Grace,” Lyney theatrically bowed down as you joined him by the wine bar. He pushed his hat against his chest, his back reaching a near perfect line as he greeted you with respect befitting of a Harbinger’s wife. The last time you spoke, over two years ago, he was small in your presence. Though back then, he was as old as Ajax was when he first became Harbinger; just a few days shy of 18.
Lynette was an identical twin of his, exempt for her cat ears. A rare biological trait. She bowed next to him, although less enthusiastically. It made Arlecchino look over, balancing her delicate wine glass between two blackened fingertips. Ajax was speaking to her, but her eerily gaze remained fixed on the children. Maybe she had been training them on how to speak to you. The Fatui were well-aware of our fragile temper at this point.
One unexpected, loud sound, and you might shun off completely. To be frank, the Fatui rarely got to see you during your good days.
“How is your vacation coming along, your Grace?” Lyney asked with a bright smile. “Have you given our magic show invitation any thought?”
“Oh. I’m afraid we won’t be attending,” you answered gloomily as the waiter poured you a fresh glass of white white. Your fifth. It was a shame you were so tolerant. Perhaps if you got drunk, walking around and pretending your husband hadn’t nearly broken your hand last night would be easier.
“Ajax overheard something about the White Banister being in Fontaine and promptly decided we shall not be going anywhere until the end of our vacation,” you said. “ I barely convinced him to take me here.”
You raised your glass and let wine pour into your mouth. In just a few swigs, you emptied its contents, enjoying the feeling of wine sitting against your empty stomach. Meanwhile, Lyney gawked at you. His pink eyes were big with surprise, and his grip on the hat turned just a smidge tighter as he faced you now. “The… Rebel group, your Grace?”
“Of course,” you hummed. “I thought the Knave would have heard by now. A report came early in the morning. Around 2, I believe.”
You weren’t sure whether Lyney stared at you with so much shock because you drank the entire glass in one go, or because you so casually told him potentially confidential information.
Lyney didn’t know that you were bluffing. You had no way of knowing whether the report was about the White Banister. It was just another puzzle piece you had to fit into your theory. And you hoped his reaction might give you more clues.
“You must excuse me for my ignorance but… Although I understand why Master Childe might want reports on the White banister, why would their presence halt your plans? Has something transpired that we should be aware of?”
Your lips pressed into a tight-lipped smile. “Not at all. He’s just being a prick. That is all.”
You could tell your liberal choice of words made both of the twins wince. You could only imagine what kind of punishment was dealt to those that dared to mock the Harbingers. You were the only one exempt from that. Only if it pertained to the 11th, of course.
“He thinks everybody in this world is conspiring to kidnap me,” you chuckled, now absent-mindedly spinning the thin wine-glass between your fingers.
Ajax liked to remind you just how dangerous the world was these days. As if everybody in existence harbored malice, and as if you were their only attainable tool for ransom and revenge.
Even the Archons-forsaken rebel group from Nod Krai that had existed for the last 100 years or so. The White Banister. You couldn’t figure out why Ajax was so obsessed with them as of late.
Lyney uncomfortably cleared his throat. “Is that so? I am sure there is no need to worry. As long as you stay in Fatui territory, I doubt there is any need to fear the White Banister. Even so, as long as you are in Fontaine, the House of the Hearth shall keep you safe, your Grace.”
Was the report not about the White Banister? Lyney looked genuinely surprised. But then, why would Ajax suddenly decide it was no longer safe to go outside?
“You say that as if I’m the scared one,” you clicked your tongue. Your eyes searched for Ajax, finding him in the same spot in front of Arlecchino, now engaged in some seemingly annoying debate. Even Arlecchino’s expression looked spoiled, lacking its usual dead-panned grace. Perhaps they were just talking about their coworkers again.
Their focus shifted as a group of Marachausse Phantoms marched straight towards the Palace’s gates. They were the elite police force of Fontaine, and it seemed as if the captain herself was present today.
The captain of the Marachausse Phantoms took a stance at the gates of the palace. Her cold gaze scoured the gathered crowd, her gaze stopping on the couple of Harbingers before she turned on her heels and marched inside.
What… was that about?
“Eh…” Lyney awkwardly chuckled. “I’m sure there is nothing to worry about. Your Grace, I believe you have no reason to fear the White Banister. Master Childe even less so.”
“Brother,” Lynette warned, as if his words might somehow offend you. “If I may interject myself into the conversation…” She gave you a quick, lazy courtesy. “Instead of focusing on that, we should consider that the White Banister has no reason to step onto Fontanian territory. Perhaps Her Grace had misheard what the report was about. There is no reason to fear them.”
Unless they wanted you. You quickly brushed that idea off as paranoia, instilled by Ajax’s constant warnings and lectures. The only reason he ever said those things, was because he didn’t want you to accidentally slip out of his sight. Making you fear the outside world was far easier.
A hand gripped your elbow. Ajax’s familiar voice crept along your neck as he leaned in against you. “Mila. Are you refreshed? Shall we go back to strolling?”
The Snezhnayan pet name always sounded so disgustingly sweet whenever it left his tongue. It was difficult to not feel fluttery at its sound.
“Right now?” you blinked. “The annoying rich folk might still be lurking in the gardens.” You said and cautiously moved your arm out of his grip. At least in public, he let you free yourself from his hold. It was usually near impossible to do so. “I’d like to indulge in some cake with Lyney and Lynette."
“With them?” He asked in surprise. “What should I do while you do that?”
“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “Perhaps you should try swinging your Hydro swords around again. In case last night wasn’t enough.”
“Hey,” he warned.
The twins nervously looked between you. Their poor ears did not need to be subjected to your bickering, nor did they need to know about the terrifying shit-show you experienced yesterday, when Ajax suddenly began spouting nonsense about his Vision flickering. He proceeded to swing his Hydro swords around for almost two full hours to try and see whether he was imagining things. It would not be out of the norm for him to do that, if it weren’t for the cold panic settling in. Things quickly got scary whenever Ajax began panicking.
Last night, a part of him genuinely believed his Vision was dying. Just like he always believed the Abyss lurked in every dark corner. That is why he grabbed your hand with so much force, nearly breaking it as he pleaded with you to help him.
“Your Grace.” Arlecchino’s interjection put you on high alert, and you instinctively turned towards the Harbingers now, finding that Ajax’s shoulders were completely stiff. Compared to him, Alrecchino looked far more relaxed, carrying herself with grace as she clutched her wine glass against her chest. “Why don’t my children give you a tour of the Palais Mermonia? If you wish to get to know them better, it would be a great opportunity for conversation.”
“There’s no need,” Ajax bitterly retorted. “I can show her around too. Plus, it seems there are some things we must resolve. It’d be best if we went alone.”
It seemed as if you had accidentally asked for a lesson. Ajax generally didn’t like having his panic attacks mentioned.
“Careful there, dear Childe,” Arlecchino clicked her tongue. “You are starting to sound rather jealous of my children. Surely you’re not that insecure in Her Grace’s ability to keep a solid friendly bond with my Lyney?”
Her gaze found yours. “She is smart, dear Childe. She wouldn’t dream of toying with my children. Not even for your marital disputes.”
Your throat tightened, and you forced it away with a quick swallow. Not only did the idea of using Lyney to make Ajax angry never cross your mind, you were also incapable of seeing the kid as anything but the nervous 18 year old who was forced to try and appeal to you in the name of the House of the Hearth. But it seemed as if neither of the Harbingers trusted you.
“I’d like a tour of the Palais Mermonia,” you admitted.
Ajax shot you a glare. Arlecchino merely nodded before extending a gracious hand to Lyney, giving him three silver tickets. Passes for the palace. “Relax, Childe. They are well-trained assassins. As trained as your two loyal assistants. Or rather… The one remaining.”
You took a moment to observe Ajax’s reaction. As expected he immediately shut his eyes as if wounded. He never really got over losing his most prized assassin’s death.
It made your chest squeeze, but instead of it being caused by love, it felt like a thorny grip. You politely bowed to Arlecchino, giving her a frank and short thank you before turning towards the twins expectedly. They exchanged worried glances before slipping into their theatric, well-trained voices.
“Right this way, your Grace!”
Arlecchino said something to your husband with a hushed tone. Something that immediately got his full attention, and you slipped into the Palace with Lyney and Lynette, unable to ignore the knot in your stomach. It seemed as if Arlecchino sent you away so that she may discuss something confidential with Ajax.
Maybe about the White Banister… Probably not, considering how Lynette made a good point about them having no reason to cause a ruckus on Fontaine soil. Their sole reason for rebellion lay within Snezhnaya’s regime, closing in on Nod Krai.
You hardly paid attention to the Palace’s grand interior. It was yet another marvel of pastel blue and white stone, nothing your eyes hadn’t seen in the last two years of your marriage with a Fatui Harbinger.
Lyney spoke enthusiastically as he threw in fun facts about the building and about the Iudex who was in charge of its operations, but you didn’t really listen.
Instead, your gaze followed the Marachausse Phantoms as they moved through the hallway. You overheard the captain whisper something about preparing for an arrest.
“The Harbinger is right outside,” The captain murmured. “Keep steady for now. Don’t raise suspicion.”
Your feet turned frozen, planting you in one spot.
Harbinger? Arrest? Surely they didn’t mean…
Only then - perhaps due to you turning towards them so suddenly - the captain noticed your presence on the other end of the hallway. Her purple eyes locked with yours, their stoicism as cold as Ajax’s whenever he stared at you reprimandingly.
“Your Grace? Right this way,” Lyney invited with a smile. “Have you ever seen Melusines at work?”
The captain passed a slight bow, with the rest of her entourage following her example. They hurried after the captain as she began marching back towards the door, and your eyes only grew wider, noticing the way her hand patted the pistols by her hip.
You could not move. The knot in your stomach told you that you were being set up again. It wouldn’t be the first time the Fatui had tried to send you away or use you as a pawn against Ajax. Maybe Arlecchino wanted to get you out of sight on purpose… But then, that would mean that she ordered an arrest against a fellow Harbinger, and that made little sense.
Could a Fatui Harbinger even be arrested?
“Your Grace?” Lyney called out again.
The palace doors opened and the police group walked out in orderly fashion. You watched them leave with big eyes, your stomach constantly twisting, constantly warning you that something was awry. That the twins were leading you away on purpose, and that Ajax was in danger.
The idea of being separated from Ajax - the only person you had left in your miserable life - was terrifying.
At the beginning of your marriage you yearned to run away from him. To be free, to have your own friends, to be safe and away from the Fatui. Then somehow, at some point, the idea of being separated became unbearable. Perhaps it happened after he hunted down and threatened to kill all your friends, or perhaps after your mother died and left you with no family, and with no-one else to love you but Ajax.
“Your Grace!”
Lyney’s voice did not halt you as you pinched the corners of your dress and ran straight towards the palace’s gates.
You burst through so violently that everybody at the banquet turned to look at you, even the police officers who were on their way to leave the premises.
Moments before, Ajax was carelessly laughing with a pair of men, with Arlecchino sipping her wine right beside them. However, as you burst out the door, your husband’s pearly smile dropped. He was quick to turn his back to the rich company. “Mila?”
You sprinted towards him. His eyes widened in surprise as he instinctively opened his arms to catch you.
The people at the banquet murmured.
Your face sank against Ajax’s chest, your bodies clashing with force. You could feel Ajax turning stiff in your hold. It took a second too long for him to place his hands on your waist, cradling you comfortingly as he always did when you melted down.
Your fingers were tight around his shirt, your eyes wide open as your mind ran in circles. You could hear Ajax’s quick heartbeat, inches away from your ear. That disgusting, lovely sound.
Ajax swayed you gently, his hug both warm and tight, usually perfectly capable of keeping you caged. “Where are your bodyguards?”
Lyney and Lynette came racing out of the palace gates, their faces palling. For a second, Lyney grabbed his chest with relief, but it quickly disappeared as he realized he had to apologize to a Harbinger for letting you slip away.
Ajax’s glare was set on them as he swayed with you, shushing you sweetly as if you were a kid afraid of the dark. “It’s alright. I’m here, he hummed sweetly, now leaning his head against yours. “Did something frighten you, mila?”
Lyney’s voice was becoming louder and louder as he approached, muttering out a hundred excuses. The Knave’s prodigee dropped onto one knee as he bowed apologetically, his skin turning laced with sweat.
“Get up,” Arlecchino whispered sharply.
People were watching, and perhaps it was thanks to them that Ajax dismissed Lyney as if it didn’t matter. You knew it mattered. It was his biggest fear after all; you running away, without his Fatui dogs catching you in time.
The captain of the Marachausse Phantoms gave you one more cold glance, before marching away with her crew.