Chapter Text
Nicholas had been there since the beginning—since the I-LAND days when Taki was just a fifteen-year-old whirlwind of raw energy and wide-eyed ambition.Back then, the bond was simple. It was the responsibility of a mentor and the affection of an older brother. He had watched Taki stumble, helped him find his footing and felt a surge of genuine, untainted pride as they finally debuted together in &TEAM.
For years, the boundaries were made of iron. Taki was the little brother to be shielded. But as they entered the 𝘉𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘛𝘰 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 era, the iron began to melt under the heat of Nicholas’s own evolving biology.
Nicholas is, at his core, a man driven by desire and intensity. He tried to tell himself that his sudden hyper-fixation was just professional observation. He told himself he was merely admiring Taki’s growth—the way his dance lines had sharpened into lethal precision or how his vocal control had finally caught up to his stage presence. But the lie felt thin when Taki was in the room.
The shift was physical. Taki had turned twenty and with that milestone came a shedding of the adolescent shell.The oversized hoodies and shapeless sweaters that once swallowed his small frame were replaced by a wardrobe that seemed designed to torment Nicholas’s self-control. Now, it was all tight-fitting tank tops that clung to the lean muscle of his shoulders and crop tops that flirted with the hem of his waist.
Nicholas found his gaze habitually dropping. He would catch himself watching the way Taki’s shirt would ride up during a particularly sharp choreography sequence, revealing a sliver of honey-tanned skin that looked impossibly soft. When Taki would pause, breathless and dripping with sweat, and rake his fingers through his longer damp hair, Nicholas felt a visceral pull in his gut that had nothing to do with brotherly affection.
The internal monologue became a battlefield.
𝘈𝘮 𝘐 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘵? he would ask himself, the thought hitting him like a cold drench of water. To want to reach out and trace the line of that tanned skin, to feel the heat radiating off Taki’s body—it felt like a betrayal of the years they had spent as family. He felt like he was desecrating something pure, yet his body refused to listen to his conscience.
The true torture, however, lay in Taki’s unchanged nature. Taki remained the same affectionate, tactile creature he had always been. He was clingy in an effortless way—cuddling up to the members, draping himself over shoulders and planting those playful, fake air kisses on everyone’s cheeks to get a laugh.
Before, Nicholas would have laughed it off or offered a playful shove. Now, whenever Taki leaned in, pouting his lips for a mock smooch, his entire world narrowed down to a single, violent impulse. He didn't want the joke. He wanted to reach out, fist his hand into Taki’s long hair to tilt his head back and crash their lips together for real. He wanted to silence the playful giggling with something heavy, dark and demanding.
The contrast between the innocent boy he raised and the mature, alluring man standing before him created a rift in Nicholas’s mind.
Every time he pulled away or forced a stiff smile, the dilemma gnawed at his vitals. He was trapped between the man he used to be—the elder brother and the man he had become: someone starving for a touch he wasn't sure he was allowed to take. This silent war was eating him alive and with every inch of skin Taki revealed, the walls of Nicholas's restraint grew thinner.
The air in the practice room felt heavy, thick with the scent of floor wax and the lingering heat of their grueling rehearsal. Nicholas had drifted off against the mirrored wall, his body finally surrendering to the brutal cycle of music show recordings and endless choreography. When he blinked his eyes open, the harsh fluorescent lights had been cut, leaving the room bathed in a hazy, dim glow that blurred the edges of reality.
"Oh, Nico hyung... you’re finally awake."
The voice was soft, melodic and much too close. Nicholas’s heart gave a sharp, painful thud against his ribs. It was Taki.
"The others went out for dinner," Taki continued, his silhouette shifting in the shadows. "So it’s just you and me."
Nicholas swallowed hard, the sound loud in his own ears. In the past, this wouldn't have been an issue. They had spent countless nights like this—collapsed in a pile of limbs, Taki using Nicholas’s arm as a pillow, their bond effortless and innocent. But that was before everything changed.
"Do you wanna eat something? Or go back to the dorm?" Taki asked, scooting closer until their knees almost brushed.
"I’m fine," Nicholas rasped, his gaze fixed firmly on his own shoelaces. He couldn't risk looking up; he knew the internal dam he’d built was already leaking.
"Hyung?"
"What?"
"Why are you acting weird lately?"
Nicholas made the mistake of looking up and the sight nearly leveled him. Under the weak, amber light of the room, Taki looked devastating. The sweat had dried on his skin, leaving a slight sheen and his longer hair fell over his eyes in messy, dark strands. The confidence of the stage was replaced by something raw and quiet.
"I’m not," Nicholas stuttered, his voice betraying him. "Just... tired. These schedules are a lot."
"Me too," Taki whispered. He looked down, a long silence stretching between them until it became unbearable. Then, he spoke again, his voice smaller this time. "Uhm, Hyung... can you help me?"
Nicholas’s pulse skyrocketed. "What help?"
Taki began to fidget, his fingers nervously picking at the denim of his jeans. He bit his lower lip—a habit Nicholas usually found endearing but now found torturous.
"I've never kissed someone," Taki admitted, the confession hanging in the still air. "Or been intimate. You know that."
Nicholas felt a wave of cold panic. He prayed this was a joke, a prank, anything but the reality unfolding in front of him. "So... what can I do?" he managed to ask, his throat feeling like it was filled with glass.
Taki looked him straight in the eye, his expression earnest and terrifyingly trusting. "Can you teach me? Please? I trust you... that’s why I’m asking."
Nicholas went dead silent. The dilemma that had been eating him alive suddenly bared its teeth. His mind screamed at him to be the to gently decline, to protect the innocence Taki was offering up. But his body, fueled by months of repressed longing and the sight of Taki’s bitten lip, had other ideas.He was staring at the boy he had raised, who was no longer a boy, asking for the one thing Nicholas had been dreaming of taking. If he said yes, there was no going back. It would be replaced by something much hungrier.
Taki wasn't naive. People often mistook his bright energy and persona for a lack of awareness but he saw the way Nicholas looked at him. He had caught those intense, lingering stares—gaze so heavy it felt like a physical touch—only for Nicholas to blink and snap his head away as if he’d been burned.
He had his own secrets, too. His admiration for Nicholas had long since changed into something deeper and far more complicated. In the beginning, it was safe. It was the simple, sun-drenched love a younger brother has for the person who taught him how to stand tall.
But Taki was growing tired of being 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦.
Underneath the bright smiles lay a sharpening greed. Every time he leaned in for a fake kiss his heart would perform a violent, traitorous rib-kick. He wasn't joking. Every touch was a silent plea, a message sent in code that he hoped Nicholas would finally be stupid enough to break.
To Taki, Nicholas was the personification of charisma but it was more than just idolizing a team-mate. He had started noticing the way Nicholas’s leather jackets fit his shoulders, the sharp line of his jaw and those plump lips that Taki found himself daydreaming about kissing. He wanted Nicholas’s hands—not just as a supportive pat on the back but firm and possessive against his waist.
Asking for a 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘯 had been a gamble, a desperate attempt to bridge the distance Nicholas had been putting between them. But as the silence stretched, Taki’s heart thumping rhythmically against his ribs, the weight of the rejection began to settle in.
Nicholas didn't answer. Instead, he stood up abruptly, his movement jerky and strained."I... I have to go to the washroom," he managed to choke out.He didn't look back. He practically bolted, the heavy door of the practice room swinging shut with a dull thud that echoed in the emptiness.
Taki slumped back against the cold glass of the mirror, his reflection looking small and dejected in the dim amber light. The adrenaline that had fueled his confession vanished, replaced by a stinging wave of embarrassment. He pulled his knees to his chest, fiddling with the hem of his crop top.
𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩? he wondered, his mind racing.𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨?
He had offered up his trust, his firsts and his vulnerability, thinking Nicholas might finally stop running. But Nicholas had fled. Taki sighed, resting his forehead on his knees, wondering if he had just permanently broken the bond they had spent years building.
Meanwhile, in the hallway, Nicholas was leaning against the cool tile of the wall, his chest heaving. He was vibrating with a terrifying mix of desire and guilt. Taki’s words were looping in his head:
"𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘦? 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶."
Taki remained slumped against the mirror, his heart still hammering a frantic rhythm against his ribs. He felt small, the vastness of the dim room mocking his vulnerability. Every second Nicholas was gone felt like an hour of silent rejection.
𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩? 𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘶𝘴?
The heavy door creaked open but it wasn't the firm, hurried step of Nicholas. It was Euijoo, peering into the shadows with a concerned expression. He had come back to check if they had finally headed home, knowing how exhausted the pair had been.
"Oh?" the leader blinked, looking around the nearly empty space. "Taki? I thought you guys would be gone by now. Where is Nico?"
Taki forced himself to sit up straight, smoothing out his top with trembling hands. He tried to keep his voice steady, though his throat felt tight. "He... he went to the washroom, hyung."
"Oh, okay," Euijoo nodded, stepping further into the room. "I was worried you both fell asleep on the floor again."
A moment later, the door pushed open again.
Nicholas stepped in, his face pale and his hair slightly damp from splashing cold water on his face. He froze for a split second when he saw Euijoo standing there but then a visible wave of relief washed over his features. The presence of a third person was a shield—a temporary reprieve from the electric, terrifying tension Taki had created.
Euijoo tilted his head, looking at Nicholas. "Feeling better? You looked like a ghost when I saw you earlier."
Nicholas nodded quickly, his eyes carefully avoiding the spot where Taki was sitting. "Yeah. Much better. Just needed some air."
"Good," Euijoo sighed, clapping his hands together. "Then let's go home and have a proper sleep. We have a 5 AM call time tomorrow."
The walk back to the dorm was a blur of neon city lights and heavy silence. Nicholas kept his head down, walking a few paces ahead, while Taki trailed behind, his mind spinning.
Once they reached the dorm, the exhaustion of the day finally claimed the others. The sounds of doors shutting and the click of light switches signaled the end of the day.But as Nicholas collapsed onto his bed, staring up at the dark ceiling, sleep was the furthest thing from his mind.
He could still see it—the way the dim light had caught the curve of Taki's jaw, the way his fingers had trembled against his jeans. Most of all, he couldn't stop hearing Taki's voice.
" 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘦? 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶. "
It was the trust that hurt the most. Taki had offered up his innocence as if it were a simple gift, unaware that Nicholas was currently a man possessed by thoughts that were anything but simple.He rolled onto his side, clutching his pillow, his chest aching with a dilemma that felt like it was physically crushing him.
He was supposed to be the protector, the hyung, the one Taki could lean on. But how could he be any of those things when all he wanted to do was pin Taki to that practice room floor and show him exactly how much he wanted him?
Nicholas hadn't slept—not really. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Taki’s bitten lip; every time he drifted, he felt the phantom of a hand that wasn't there. Giving up on rest, he padded quietly toward the kitchen, desperate for enough caffeine to numb the buzzing in his brain.The soft sound of humming and the rhythmic clink of a spoon against ceramic stopped him mid-stride. He nearly turned on his heel to bolt back to his room but it was too late.
Taki had already looked up.
The contrast from the night before was jarring. Gone was the provocative outfit and the damp, messy hair. Taki was swallowed up in a hoodie—definitely Jo’s, based on the sheer size of it and baggy sweats. He looked soft, vulnerable, like a ball of fluff in the early morning gray.
"Good morning, hyung," Taki said, his voice a little husky from sleep.
"Morning," Nicholas muttered, moving past him with stiff shoulders to grab his favorite mug. He felt like he was walking on eggshells, the air between them still charged with the residue of their unfinished conversation.
Taki let out a small, breathless laugh. "Why are you up so early? You’re usually the hardest one to wake up."
"Cause I slept enough yesterday... at the practice room," Nicholas lied, his heart doing a nervous skip at the mention of that place.
"Oh." Taki stepped closer, the playful glint in his eyes fading into something more serious.He leaned against the counter, his gaze dropping to the floor as he spoke quietly. "I’m sorry, hyung. For yesterday. For what I said."
Nicholas stared into the dark depths of his coffee, his knuckles white around the handle of the mug. "It’s... it’s okay," he mumbled, though it was anything but.The tension was still there, coiled like a spring in his chest.
"Can I ask why? Why me?"
"I can't tell Kei or Fuma hyung," Taki admitted, the words spilling out like a secret he could no longer carry. "And Euijoo hyung is too kind. Others will laugh, maybe." He shifted his weight, his bottom lip pouting slightly in a way that made Nicholas’s chest tighten with a lethal mix of protectiveness and possessive hunger.
"That's why I chose you," Taki continued, his gaze still glued to the floor. "I just wanted to experience it. Nothing else."
𝘈𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦. Nicholas thought, a bittersweet pang hitting him. Taki sounded so innocent, so clinical about it—as if he were asking to learn a new dance step or a vocal warm-up. But Nicholas’s own thoughts were far away. He was looking at the way the oversized hoodie slid off Taki’s shoulder, thinking about how easy it would be to pull him close and show him that 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘨 it with Nicholas would be anything but simple.
He wanted to tell Taki that if they did this, it would change everything. But seeing Taki standing there, looking so small and trusting, Nicholas just stood still, the heat from his coffee mug seeping into his palms but it was nothing compared to the heat radiating from Taki. At this distance, the facade vanished completely. He could see every detail: the faint acne marks on Taki’s skin that made him look human and vulnerable, the scent of his cologne—something crisp and clean—mixing with the smell of roasted beans.
Taki’s eyes were beaming, searching Nicholas’s face for a sign, while his lips trembled just enough to betray his nerves.The internal dam Nicholas had built over months finally developed a lethal crack.
"Taki," Nicholas said, his voice dropping into a warning growl. "If you don't back out in ten seconds, I might do something we will both regret."
He closed his eyes, counting the beats of his own frantic heart. 𝘖𝘯𝘦. 𝘛𝘸𝘰. 𝘛𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘦. He expected the scuff of slippers, the sound of Taki retreating to the safety of the hallway. Instead, he felt a shaky breath brushing against his jaw and then—the tentative, hesitant press of soft lips against his own.
The contact snapped something inside him. Nicholas’s eyes flew open and before Taki could pull away in fear, he cupped the boy’s face in his large hands. He leaned in, finally kissing him properly, grounding the electric tension that had been boiling over for weeks.
It was surprisingly soft. Despite the dark, heavy thoughts Nicholas had been harboring, the actual act was tender. He felt Taki’s clumsy hesitation, the way he struggled to find a rhythm or sync his breathing. It was proof of Taki’s honesty—he really hadn’t done this before. Nicholas found it achingly adorable, a contrast to the sexy image Taki had been projecting on stage.
When Nicholas finally pulled back, he saw the wreckage of his self-control. Taki looked stunned, his eyes wide and dazed, his lips glossy and reddened from the friction. Nicholas couldn't stop. He leaned forward again, burying his face in the crook of Taki’s neck, his lips tracing the warm column of skin there with slow, lingering kisses.
"Nicho... ah, hyung... it feels ticklish," Taki whimpered, his hands clutching the fabric of Nicholas’s shirt, a strange, new sensation washing over him.
Suddenly, the heavy thud of footsteps echoed from the hallway.
Nicholas’s instincts slammed into high gear.In one fluid motion, he pulled Taki into a tight, protective hug, burying Taki’s face against his chest and playfully ruffling his hair just as Fuma appeared in the doorway, blinking sleepily.
"Morning, guys," Fuma said, rubbing his eyes and offering a tired, fatherly smile. "Already awake and clinging to each other? Some things never change."
Fuma walked past them to the fridge, completely unaware that the hug he was witnessing was actually a desperate attempt to hide Taki's swollen lips and Nicholas's shaking hands. To him, it was just the same old Nicholas and Taki. To the two of them, the world had just shifted on its axis.
Fuma barely left when the whirlwind of their reality swept them up. There was no time for a debrief, no quiet corner to decode the sudden, bruising intensity of that kiss. Within minutes, the dorm was a chaotic symphony of buzzing alarms, slamming shower doors and managers shouting about the schedule.
Nicholas was a master of the poker face as they moved through the day—the cramped van ride, the frantic energy of the music show backstage, the meticulous hair and makeup sessions.
Taki, however, was reeling. Every time he caught his reflection in a dressing room mirror, he felt the phantom stain of Nicholas’s lips on his neck. He felt like he was walking around with a neon sign over his head, yet Nicholas seemed entirely unfazed.
During the rehearsals, Taki found himself constantly searching for a crack in Nicholas's armor. He watched him intently during the choreography.Nicholas on stage was all sharp angles, fierce charisma and playful fanservice for the cameras. He joked with the other members, leaned into EJ for a laugh and executed his parts with a terrifying, cool precision.
𝘋𝘪𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮? Taki wondered, his heart sinking. 𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘐 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘥?
At a fansign later that afternoon, the distance felt even wider. They were seated several chairs apart. Taki watched from the corner of his eye as Nicholas laughed with a fan, his head tilted back, looking every bit the idol he was born to be. There was no trace of the man who had groaned into Taki’s neck just hours prior.
But Taki was wrong.
Nicholas wasn't unaffected; he was performing the greatest act of his life. Underneath the usual playfulness, he was vibrating. His skin felt too tight for his body. Every time Taki walked past him in those tight stage clothes, the scent of that crisp cologne would hit Nicholas like a physical blow.
Inside, he was a chaotic mess of adrenaline and desire.He wasn't just thinking about the kiss; he was haunted by the sound Taki had made—that soft, breathless whimper in the kitchen. It had sparked a hunger in Nicholas that went far beyond a simple lesson. He wanted to hear that sound again. He wanted to see exactly how much more he could make Taki react.
Every time their hands accidentally brushed during a group formation, a silent, electric shock traveled between them, proving that the tension wasn't gone—it was just being held under a very thin, very dangerous layer of ice.
But for now, he was trapped on his bed, forced to endure Maki’s endless yapping about a fangirl he’d met at the fansign. Nicholas stared at the ceiling, nodding at intervals, while his mind was miles away, tracing the memory of Taki’s honey-tanned skin.
Then, his phone vibrated against his thigh.
Taki: Hyung, don't you think we should talk?
Nicholas straightened up instantly, his heart kicking into a high gear. He looked over at Maki, who was still mid-sentence."Dude, get some sleep," he interrupted, his voice firmer than intended. "Otherwise your brain is going to fry. We have an early call tomorrow."
Maki blinked, startled by the sudden dismissal but he took the hint, gathered his things and wandered out. Nicholas didn't waste a second. His thumbs flew across the screen.
Come to my room right now.
A few agonizing minutes passed.Nicholas paced the small space of his room, the silence of the dorm feeling like a physical pressure. Finally, there was a soft, hesitant knock. Taki stepped in, looking small and fragile in an oversized sweater. He was fiddling with the hem of the fabric, his eyes darting around the room, looking anxious for some reason.
Nicholas didn't say a word at first. He reached past Taki and clicked the lock on the door. The sound of the bolt sliding home felt final. He couldn't risk anyone else walking in on them again.Turning back, Nicholas stepped into Taki's personal space and reached out, ruffling the boy’s hair with a forced lightness. "Why do you look so scared?" he asked, his voice low and vibrating with a hidden intensity. "I'm not going to bite you."
Taki looked up then, his bottom lip pouting slightly in a way that made Nicholas’s chest tighten. "Why did you ignore me all day?"
The tone was pure sulk, a hint of the younger Taki coming through and Nicholas found it devastatingly cute. He let his hand drop from Taki’s hair to the side of his neck, his thumb grazing the skin just behind Taki's ear.
"I wasn't ignoring you," Nicholas replied, his gaze darkening as he leaned closer, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. "I was trying hard to not touch you." He leaned in, his thumb tracing the soft curve of Taki’s cheek.
"Do you want me to kiss you," Nicholas whispered, his voice dangerously low, "or talk?
Taki looked up at him, his eyes wide and glassy. In this light, Nicholas still looked like the same boy who had comforted him through the tears and exhaustion of their trainee days. It was that familiarity that made the confession spill out, shaky and raw.
"I actually never kissed anyone... except..." Taki trailed off, his breath hitching.
Nicholas’s hand stilled on Taki’s face. His eyes narrowed, a sharp spark of possessiveness flickering in the dark. "Except who?"
"Kei hyung," Taki mumbled, the name barely leaving his lips.
The mention of Kei hit Nicholas like a physical blow. A surge of white-hot jealousy flared up, tightening his grip on the situation.He let out a low, humorless chuckle and stepped forward, caging Taki’s smaller frame between his body and the locked door.
"Is hyung tutoring you in those things, too?" Nicholas asked, his tone dripping with a sarcasm that didn't hide his irritation.
"No! Not like that!" Taki panicked, his hands coming up to rest against Nicholas’s chest. "I mean, I was just messing around and he offered that he could kiss me. So it just happened. It felt weird because... you know I see him as an older brother. But Kei hyung was gentle."
Nicholas listened, his jaw tightening so hard it ached. He knew the bond Taki shared with Kei was deep—they were like family. In any other context, he wouldn't care but the thought of Kei’s hands on Taki, of Kei’s lips teaching Taki things that Nicholas had claimed in his mind, made his blood boil.
"When did this happen?" Nicholas asked quietly, his voice vibrating with a dark edge. "And what happened, exactly?"
"A few months ago," Taki confessed, his face burning a bright crimson. He had promised Kei it would be a secret but under Nicholas’s heavy gaze, he couldn't keep it. "He was tired and I just went to cuddle... hm, just a few kisses."
𝘔𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘰....
Taki couldn't sleep, there was a restless buzz under his skin. It was a phantom itch he couldn't scratch—a deep-seated need for contact that went beyond a simple hug. He felt small in his own skin, his mind spinning with questions about the heat he felt whenever he was near the older members.He padded down the hallway, the floorboards cold beneath his feet, until he reached Kei’s door.
Inside, the room was bathed in the soft, warm glow of a bedside lamp. Kei was sitting up, moving through his nightly skincare routine with the practiced, elegant grace that always made Taki feel like he was looking at a masterpiece.
"Can't sleep?" Kei’s voice was a low, soothing vibration. He didn't look up yet but the small, knowing tilt of his lips told Taki he was welcome.
"No." Taki sank onto the edge of the mattress, the weight of his own heart feeling heavy in his chest. He stared at Kei—the man who had been his pillar since he was a fourteen-year-old boy lost in a whirlwind of ambition. To him, Kei was more than a brother; he was a fragment of home.
Kei set his things aside, his expression softening into that familiar, paternal warmth. He shifted back against the pillows and opened his arms wide. "Come here, riki."
Taki didn't hesitate. He crawled into the space, snuggling flush against Kei’s side. The scent of the older's expensive cologne and clean laundry acted like a sedative but even as he relaxed, the curiosity gnawed at him. He looked up, tracing the ethereal line of Kei’s jaw, the perfect symmetry of a face he had spent years admiring.Before his courage could fail him, Taki leaned up and pressed a tentative, dry peck to Kei’s lips.
Kei stiffened instantly, his breath hitching. He pulled back just an inch, his eyes wide with genuine shock. "Hey... what are you doing?"
"I wanna kiss you, hyung," Taki mumbled, the words feeling clumsy and thick on his tongue.
"What are you even saying?" Kei’s voice was hushed, the shock evident, yet his arms didn't drop. He didn't push him away. The iron-clad protection was still there, even in the face of something so unexpected.
"Please, hyung," Taki whispered, burying his face in the crook of Kei’s neck. He needed to know. He needed to understand if the fluttering in his stomach was the start of something real or just the echoes of a childhood crush that hadn't found its place yet. He inhaled deeply, the familiarity of Kei’s presence grounding him.
Kei sighed, a sound that was half-surrender and half-pity. He rubbed a hand slowly up and down Taki’s back, a grounding rhythm. "Hey, look at me."
Taki obeyed, his eyes searching.
Kei leaned down, his movement incredibly slow and controlled. When his lips met Taki’s, it was a soft, static press—a gentle guidance. It was the kiss of someone who wanted to provide an answer without causing a fire. When he pulled back, a small, bittersweet smile played on his lips. "Ah riki you're so adorable," he murmured, his voice laced with a strange kind of melancholy.
He leaned in again but this time his lips found Taki’s temple, lingering there in a long, protective seal. As he held him, Kei couldn't help but wonder when the little boy had grown up into someone so full of quiet, desperate longing and how much longer he could keep the world from bruising that heart.
Taki stayed tucked against him, his eyes closed. The kiss had been beautiful—it was everything he imagined from Kei. But as he lay there in Kei's arms, he realized something that made his heart ache for a completely different reason.
It was perfect. But it didn't make his blood boil. It didn't make him feel like he was about to fall off a cliff.It wasn't the storm he was looking for. And deep down, he knew exactly who he wants.
------
"Just kisses?" Nicholas’s fingers moved to Taki’s chin, forcing the boy to look him directly in the eye. His jealousy was no longer a quiet hum; it was a roar. "Kei hyung is insane, really. Was he gentle?"
Taki nodded slowly, his breath coming in short, shallow puffs.
Nicholas leaned down, his face inches from Taki’s, the scent of the boy’s cologne and the heat of his skin overwhelming his remaining restraint. He brushed his lips against Taki’s in a ghost of a touch, a promise of the storm to come.
"Then let me show you," Nicholas growled against Taki's mouth, "how rough it can get." He didn’t wait for permission this time; he took it. Taki stumbled back until his spine hit the door, the impact jolting through him as Nicholas’s mouth crashed against his.
There was no trace of the careful guidance Taki had experienced with Kei, nor the tentative, sweet curiosity of that morning. This was something entirely different—something dark, demanding and dangerously skilled. Nicholas worked his mouth with a frantic hunger, his teeth grazing Taki’s bottom lip before he began to tug at it, alternating between the top and bottom with a punishing rhythm. He sucked on the sensitive skin, indulging in the way Taki let out a broken, high-pitched whimper that echoed in the small space.
Taki felt the world tilting. He struggled to find his breath, his lungs burning but Nicholas wouldn't give him an inch. He fisted his hand into Taki’s hair, tilting the boy's head back to a sharper angle to deepen the contact, driving the kiss even further until it felt like it was reaching into Taki’s very soul.
Taki felt like he was dissolving, turning into something sweet and liquid like sugar under a flame. Is this how kissing is supposed to feel? he wondered dizzily. It wasn't just a press of lips; it was a physical invasion.
His fingers flew to Nicholas’s arms, his blunt nails digging hard into the firm, flexed muscle of Nicholas’s biceps. He wasn't pushing him away; he was clawing at him, trying to steady himself as the floor seemed to fall out from under his feet. A strange, heavy heat was pooling low in his stomach—a pulsing, magnetic ache that made his knees buckle, leaving him entirely dependent on the man currently devouring him.
Nicholas pulled back just a fraction, his eyes dark and dilated, fixed on Taki’s reddened mouth. He leaned in, his tongue darting out to lick Taki's bottom lip, savoring the lingering sweetness of his lip balm like it was the only thing keeping him alive.
"Open up," Nicholas commanded, his voice a low, gravelly friction.He didn't wait. He pressed his thumb firmly against the seam of Taki’s lips, forcing them apart before diving back in.
Taki let out a broken, high-pitched moan as Nicholas finally forced his way in. The feeling of Nicholas’s tongue—slick, hot and authoritative—slipping past his teeth sent a jolt of pure electricity straight to Taki's brain, making his head spin in dizzying circles. It was wet, messy and entirely uncoordinated on Taki’s part, yet it was the most insanely addicting thing he had ever experienced.
Nicholas was relentless, his tongue invading every hidden corner of Taki’s mouth with a predatory focus. He sucked on Taki’s tongue, pulling it into his own mouth until Taki felt like his breath was being stolen directly from his lungs. A thin trail of saliva began to escape the corner of Taki's mouth, glistening in the dim light as it slid down his chin but Nicholas didn't care—he only pressed closer, his body a solid wall of heat pinning Taki to the door.
The sensory overload was too much. Down below, Taki felt a sharp, pulsing tension he wasn't prepared for. His breath hitched in a series of shallow stutters as his thighs instinctively pressed together, trying to friction away the sudden, heavy ache. He felt his cock twitch painfully against the restrictive fabric of his pants, a visceral reaction to the sheer, raw power Nicholas was exerting over him.
He was being undone, piece by piece, by the very man he fell for. Taki’s hands moved from Nicholas's biceps to his shoulders, fisting the fabric of his shirt as he let out another muffled cry into the kiss.
Nicholas felt the shift in Taki’s body, the way he was starting to go limp and pliable in his arms. He shifted his focus, his mouth sliding down the line of Taki’s jaw. His large hand moved to the back of Taki’s head, his fingers fisting into the longer strands of hair. With a firm but controlled tug, he forced Taki’s head back, exposing the pale, sensitive column of his throat.
Taki gasped, his pulse thrumming wildly under the skin. Nicholas didn't hesitate; he began to nibble at the tender cord of Taki’s neck. He was mindful of the schedules and the cameras, making sure not to leave a visible mark that their makeup artists would have to hide the next day. But he was intentional with the pressure, his teeth grazing the skin just enough to send a violent shiver racing down Taki’s spine.
"Nicho... hyung..." Taki choked out, his eyes fluttering shut as the sensation overwhelmed him.
Nicholas hummed against his skin, the sound vibrating through Taki’s entire frame.He wanted Taki to know the difference. He wanted Taki to forget the touches from anyone else and remember only the way Nicholas made him feel: breathless, shaken and completely undone. He yanked the collar of Taki’s sweater down just a few inches, enough to reveal the delicate skin of his collarbones and the tiny, familiar moles on his chest. He pressed his lips to each one, his breath hot and demanding against Taki’s skin.
Taki was a complete wreck. His hair was a wild halo, his neck was flushed with the faint, rising heat of Nicholas’s attention and his lips were swollen and darkened from the pressure of their kisses. The friction of his denim jeans was becoming unbearable, a heavy, pulsing ache settling deep in his core that he didn't quite know how to manage.
Nicholas felt the tremor running through the younger boy. He pulled back just enough to look Taki in the eye, his thumb grazing the corner of Taki’s mouth. "This is how it’s done. Understood?" he whispered, his voice a low vibration.
Taki could only nod, his hands clutching Nicholas’s shoulders as if he were the only thing keeping him upright in a tilting world.
"From now on," Nicholas added, his possessiveness flaring up again as he thought of Kei, "if you want to learn anything else... you come to me. Only me." He cupped Taki’s cheeks, his palms warm against the boy’s feverish skin and kissed him again.It was slow, deep and agonizingly thorough.
Overwhelmed by the strange, mounting pressure in his lower body, Taki instinctively grinded his hips forward, seeking relief against the solid line of Nicholas’s thigh. Nicholas broke the kiss with a sharp intake of breath. A smirk played on his lips—dark, knowing and entirely predatory. "What do you need, pup?"
Taki’s eyes were dazed, his pupils blown wide. "I... I don’t know," he breathed, his voice small and honest.
Nicholas felt a surge of genuine affection mix with his lust. As much as he wanted to completely ruin the boy and erase every memory of anyone else’s touch, he was painfully aware that Taki was a total novice. He was navigating a storm he didn't have a map for.
"Do you want me to help you?" Nicholas asked softly, his hand sliding down from Taki’s face to the small of his back, pulling him flush against his own.
Taki blinked, his long lashes fluttering against his cheeks in confusion. "How?"
The innocence of the question nearly broke Nicholas’s resolve. He leaned down, his lips brushing against Taki’s ear as he let his hand wander lower. The trust Taki placed in him was a heavy weight, one that forced Nicholas to temper the roar of his own desire with a newfound, protective gentleness. He reached down, his fingers grazing against the cold metal.
As the zipper slid down with a quiet, metallic rasp, Taki squeezed his eyes shut. His face was a deep, burning crimson, his long lashes casting flickering shadows on his cheekbones. He couldn't bring himself to look at Nicholas, the vulnerability of the moment feeling almost too much to bear.
Nicholas’s hands were shaking—a rare sign of how much effort it took to maintain his composure. He eased Taki’s pants and boxers down, his gaze softening as he took Taki in. Though Taki had matured into a man, he was still built smaller, leaner than Nicholas. A small, genuine smile broke through Nicholas’s intense expression.
"𝘒𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘪," he breathed out, the word escaping before he could stop it.
Taki’s eyes snapped open for a second, wide and flustered. "What are you doing?" he blurted out, his voice cracking with embarrassment.
Nicholas leaned in and caught Taki’s lips in a sweet, lingering peck. "You’re just so cute," he murmured against his mouth.
As Nicholas’s hand finally closed around him, the sheer warmth of that palm—large, calloused and certain—sent a violent tremor through Taki’s entire frame. A sharp, strangled moan broke from his throat, a sound of pure shock that vibrated against the wood of the door behind him.
Taki’s head fell back, hitting the door with a soft thud as his spine arched reflexively. The sensation was a tidal wave, crashing through his nervous system with a force that made his vision blur. It was alien and terrifyingly intense, an overwhelming surge of pleasure that felt far too big for his body to contain, yet it felt more incredible than anything he had ever imagined in his lonely, late-night daydreams.
Nicholas didn't look away for a second. He watched Taki with a dark, focused intensity, his eyes tracking every flicker of emotion across the younger boy's flushed face. With a slow, deliberate movement of his thumb, he caught the bead of moisture at the tip, smearing the precum down the length of the shaft to ease the friction.
Nicholas’s jeans felt dangerously tight against his own straining cock but the sight of Taki coming apart just by his hands was a more potent drug than any personal release. He began a steady, rhythmic motion, his hand sliding up and down with a possessive grip that left no room for Taki to escape the sensation.
To ground him, Nicholas leaned in, burying his face in the curve of Taki’s neck and trailing a line of hot, open-mouthed kisses along his jawline, his heavy breathing fanning against Taki's sensitive skin as he drove him closer to the edge.He was breathing heavily now, his own frustration mounting but he focused entirely on the boy in his arms.
Taki was a beautiful mess. His hands were white-knuckled as they gripped Nicholas’s shoulders and his voice was broken into gasps. "Hyung... nngh... it feels good... so fucking good..."
Taki had explored his own body before but it had never felt like this. It had never been this satisfying, this consuming. The rhythm Nicholas kept was perfect, demanding and certain. His body began to tremble violently, his breath coming in short, sharp hitches until he finally peaked, spilling over Nicholas’s hand as a low cry left his lips.
Nicholas bit tenderly on Taki’s earlobe before pulling back to capture his mouth in a deep, grounding kiss. "Was that good?" He whispered, his voice thick.
"Yeah," Taki breathed, his eyes still dazed and unfocused. He looked down at Nicholas’s hand and his face heated up even more. "I’m sorry for... for that."
"It’s okay," Nicholas assured him, his voice soft and devoid of any judgment. He reached for a box of tissues on the bedside table, carefully cleaning both of them with a tenderness that spoke volumes.
The sharp thud-thud of knuckles against the wooden door sounded like a gunshot in the silent room. Taki froze, his heart leaping into his throat, standing there completely exposed and trembling. The panic in his eyes was vivid, his gaze darting from the locked door to his discarded clothes.
"Nico-hyung? Are you in there?" Jo’s voice drifted through the door, sounding curious but calm.
Nicholas reacted with a calculated speed. He pressed a finger to his lips, signaling Taki to stay quiet but Taki’s adrenaline won out.
"Oh! Jojo!" Taki called out, his voice a pitch too high, cracking slightly as he scrambled for an excuse. "Taki fell... I mean, We're just... about to sleep!"
Nicholas winced slightly at Taki’s third-person slip-up but he didn't waste time. He moved with a focused, quiet urgency, gathering Taki’s boxers and denim. He didn't let Taki struggle with the buttons; instead, Nicholas dressed him with a steady hand, his touch now entirely devoid of the predatory heat from moments ago. He zipped the pants and smoothed down the oversized sweater, hiding the faint flush on Taki’s chest.
"Go away, Jo! We’re tired!" Nicholas added, his voice deep and commanding enough to discourage any further questions.He heard the soft shuffle of Jo’s footsteps retreating down the hallway. Only then did Nicholas let out a long, shaky breath. He turned back to Taki, who looked like he was about to vibrate out of his skin from the sheer stress of nearly being caught.
Whatever fire had been burning in Nicholas’s own veins—the heavy, unsatisfied ache in his own body was pushed to the back of his mind. Seeing Taki look so small and overwhelmed triggered his protective instincts more than his lust ever could. All that mattered now was making sure Taki felt safe.He reached out, taking Taki by the hand and gently guiding him toward the bed. He pulled back the heavy duvet and gestured for him to get in.
"Come here," Nicholas whispered, his voice soft and grounded.
Taki crawled under the covers, burying his face in the pillow as the reality of the last hour finally began to settle. Nicholas climbed in beside him, not to push for more but simply to be a presence. He pulled the blankets up to Taki’s chin and draped an arm over him, tucking the younger boy into the crook of his shoulder. He leaned down, pressing a lingering, tender kiss into the crown of Taki’s messy hair, his voice a low, melodic vibration in the dark.
"Good night, Riki."
At the sound of his real name, a small, sleepy smile tugged at the corners of Taki’s mouth. He pressed his face closer to Nicholas’s chest, the steady, rhythmic thrum of Nicholas’s heart acting as the ultimate lullaby. Exhaustion was claiming him now, pulling him under like a slow-moving tide.
He murmured something incoherent—a soft, garbled string of syllables that only someone who had spent years listening to him could decode.Nicholas let out a soft, airy giggle, the sound light and genuine.He tightened his hold just a fraction, watching as Taki’s breathing finally evened out into the deep, honest rhythm of sleep.