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This is really bad. Every step is followed by the terrifying feeling of fading away, heart beating as fast and furious as a prey that is just about to be attacked by a predator. It doesn't help at all that breathing is becoming more dangerous, a sharp pain just below his ribs keeps Severus from breathing properly.
Exhaustion has taken the shape of his worst enemy, it follows just like the beast he's trying to escape from, desperate to attack whenever it can. The memory of the last time he stopped, the last time water touched his lips or his head laid on a pillow are long forgotten. This has been going on for how long? How many sunsets have been witnesses to his race through the thick, dense forest? Maybe a thousand, maybe only one.
The price of stopping is just to high, that's the only thing ringing in his mind as he tries to push his tired, exhausted body to not give up, to keep running even when the ache in his stomach feels like thousand daggers stabbing his insides. He can not stop, he can not pay that price and yet that's all he wants to do.
He is in pain, every part of his body is flaming up like it has been hit with a stinging hex. It's impossible to ignore specially when it feels like there's more weight on each of his limbs bringing him down. He has been struggling with this ever since the sun started to go down and now, in the darkness of the night, finally the energy is fully burned out. He stops so abruptly that balance leaves his body and the cold, muddy ground meets his face before he can even realize he stopped running.
Air is finally filling his lungs now that the pace has stopped even if it's difficult to breathe in this position, the smell of the earth underneath seems to help with the dizziness though he knows getting up from the ground will be a challenge on its own. His limbs tingle and the pain burns deep into his meat.
Even in the darkness of the cold night, he can feel the well known sensation of being observed. There's no need to confirm it, the chills that go all the way from his neck to his lower back are enough proof that the beast has found it him yet again.
"Can't you leave me alone?" The voice that comes out of his mouth is rough, the lack of water makes it even more dry. "Leave, you fucking beast, leave me alone."
Bitter words are of no used with this beast. Even if they speak the same language, it will not understand what Severus is saying. It never does.
He opens his eyes to a dark night, the warmth given by the sun has been forgotten as a cold breeze shake the leaves of the trees that look even taller from the ground. Just over his left shoulder, hiding itself in the blackness of the night he finds yellow eyes of that belong to a dog. Severus hates dogs. This way in particular more than others.
There has never been a time where he didn't feel some type of displeasure when in presence of one, his father did like them but it was never good when Tobias Snape liked anything as it could be used as a weapon against Severus and his mother. He always felt it, when he looked at their stupid eyes and saw the big canine fangs, he felt the need to be wary around them. What everyone deemed as stupid and a childish fear is now real, even if it's not his father who is using it as a weapon.
The Grim is getting closer to him, big yellow eyes shine in the darkness reminding him of the ones described in fairy tales that served to keep children from running away. Severus never considered himself as somebody who gets scared easily but the beating of his heart, rapid and loud can not be ignored even if there's a brave expression in his face.
Soon the yellow eyes disappear in front of him. There's a shift, a breeze moves some leaves and the sound of steps fill the silent forest. Where they come from is a mystery that makes Severus feel extremely vulnerable.
"You're away from the Castle, sir Severus." The voice that pronounces these words is husky, the familiarity makes him sick "The Queen has been asking for you, it's your duty to be by her side."
"It's not my duty as I am nothing but a commoner, you beast." Every word is charged with hatred.
"A commoner, " repeats the shadow now closer to him, Severus can not figure out just yet where but the proximity gives a subtle hint "You and I both know you're far from being a commoner."
Severus takes this opportunity to lift himself, adrenaline is rushing through his blood so it doesn't take much to be back on his feet though the dizziness has not left just yet. He takes one step back while examining the area around looking for the shadow.
"Leave me alone." he snarls.
"Leave you alone?" The voice is charged with an irritated tone, Severus notices that he might not be the only one tired. "You must come back with me to the Castle." Its an order, Severus hates it when he's commanded to do something.
"Fuck you." he takes another step back, finally deducing the direction of the shadow.
"I will not say it again, Severus."
"Oh, so we are dropping the formalities now? Not more sir Severus?" he mocks as another step is taken, eyes still trying to find the shadow while his heart beast rapidly, anxiety mixing with adrenaline. The sound of it is almost deafening but he can not afford to show insecurity, no when his predator is already trying to force him back.
"I'm your husband, Severus, you must listen to me!" The shadow growls, his voice travels with the breeze and soon there's no place in the whole forest that hasn't heard him scream. The words are nonsense, everything has been for the last few years. A husband he did not want is yelling at him in the middle of the night. "Have you heard me? You are sir Back, my husband and I have had enough of this. You must come back with me at once."
"I'm not your husband, " Severus says pronouncing every word in a sharp manner. "And I will never be sir Black because I happen to have my own surname. Do you not remember, beast? I am a Snape and my duty is not with you or the Queen, I'm a man." he is getting angrier by the second, there's a metallic taste on his mouth but even that is not enough to stop him from yelling at the darkness.
"Severus, " There is no patience in the voice, it sounds hard and rough like a groan. " Must I force you?"
"That wouldn't be the first time you do so."
Severus has finally decided that he must run again so just as the words are pronounced, the adrenaline makes both of his feet move as fast as he can trying to leave behind the shadow. It's a poor attempt as soon strong arms grab his body and the weight of a bigger, heavier man takes him down in just seconds. His face hits the ground, harder this time making a cry leaves his mouth.
"Why must you make it so difficult?" Strong, hard hands are changing his position until his view changes to the nocturnal sky " Look at what you've done to your face."
An ironic laugh is left out, Severus can not believe the audacity of the beast in front of him. Long fingers press his cheek which is already aching and bleeding, he can hear an exasperated sigh leave the beast's mouth.
"I was never pretty so I can't say how that changes anything, " He mocks the shadow, there's no point on trying to escape again but the pleasure of irritating Black is just as good as getting up and running once more. At least this doesn't take so much energy. " Even you said it, multiple times at that. Do you remember, husband? You always said that you couldn't believe how somebody could be so ugly and disgusting. What was it that you said you hated the most? My nose? My greasy hair? Maybe it was both."
"That's why it's such a blessing that you've grown into your features as you're now the most beautiful being in this planet and I am your lucky husband. So why wouldn't I get upset when you ruin your face with these stupid attempts to escape what can not be escaped?" The fingers press just a little bit harder and in the darkness, Black's grey eyes catch a little bit of moonlight and shine dangerously. He is irritated and angry. "Answer me."
But he does not want to answer. Trying to escape what can not be escaped. The hatred in him is burning up intensely as the words repeat themselves torturing what's left of his dignity. Another failure but this one stings as much as the previous ones, every single defeat hurting his already beaten ego.
Words can not explain what it means to be in the same position he has been before, the silent night just gives room to more thoughts about how everything went wrong. Bitterness makes him shut his eyes, humiliated and tired.
"You don't want me and I don't want you." he says slowly trying to keep the stupid feeling of wanting to cry at bay "Why must we keep this insanity going when you could just let me... go?" The last words are nothing but a whisper that leaves his mouth, almost hopeful that something can get into Black's thick skull.
"I do want you, "The fingers are now touching his jaw brushing it " I want you more than I want anything in this world and that's why I will always come for you. The Gods chose me as your husband, I want you."
"The Gods did not choose you, your King did to please his dear wife and because you're nothing more than a dog you accepted this farce but I know you, husband, the real you and I'm sure there's nothing you want more than to see me dead. Next time I shall give you that pleasure. "
"You will not die." The beast says, voice tensed as his fingers press Severus' cheeks leaving a burning sensation.
"Everyone will, that's the point of life and if can not get away from you alive then..."
Black steps up finally freeing Severus momentary, air finally gets to his lungs now that the weight has been removed but it can barely be appreciated it before his husband lifts him from the ground. The sudden change aggravates the dizziness, a loud beep in his ears makes him shut his eyes preparing to fall again but Black holds him tighter to him.
"We will head back now, husband. We shall see how you end your life once we're back at the Castle."
Nothing can be done now. Once Black realizes that Severus is not cooperating, he carries him with an ease that makes the shorter man angry. Why he feels so exhausted while Black has the strength to carry him like they have not spent the last days running is just another one of life's injustices.
Black walks with him for what seems like hours, he decides to use this time to shut his eyes in a poor attempt to sleep at least until they reach camp. Nothing will happen to him now or at least nothing that he hasn't lived before. He knows that the anger will only make the headache grow bigger as he spirals into insanity which is nothing worth staying awake so he gives falling asleep a try though he is very unsuccessful in that matter.
His brain refuses to let him rest, he thinks about the scenes of the last hours for what feels like an eternity torturing his defeated soul. He's very much awake when the sounds of the knights make him finally open give up to his farce and open his eyes to see the dozens of tents in the camp, there's also campfire and the smell of food, sounds of laughter and happiness once they see Black carrying him. He can't help but get even angrier. Black really brought a whole army to witness his failure.
His husband does not stop walking, he barely acknowledges the knights with a simple nod and keeps a steady pace until they step outside their tent which is far from the camp and stands out as its bigger than all the others, it has the Black Family coat of arms and inside there's a few commodities that a lot of the knights lack. The perks of being the King's bitch, Severus thinks bitterly.
Once they're inside the tent, a hex is cast by Black and the outside noise is muffled. The tent becomes a locked to the outsiders and and it isn't even necessary for Severus to try, he knows that the hex also serves as a way to keep him trapped inside it. He looks at Black with hatred as the man starts taking down his shirt.
His temporary cage is illuminated by a few candles that have been enchanted so they keep their flames up all night, the warm light makes Black's silver eyes light up in a way that makes him look even more surreal. It's the first time in Gods-know-how long that Severus can see his husband properly and he can't help but feel bothered at how beautiful he looks even after falling him around the whole forest for days.
"Will you take me now?" Severus asks frowning as he sees his husband get undressed in front of him.
"It's time you give me a heir, " Black explains without really looking at him, the younger one can already feel the sickness sit on his stomach at the mention of a heir. "Harry is almost three years of age. We have been married for four winters and yet nothing, even though we have tried for longer than James and Lily did before having him. So I wonder, my darling husband, why is it that we have not succeeded yet?"
There's irony in Black's voice, it dances dangerously in every word he pronounces while he stares a Severus not with anger but something else that makes the beats of his heart go faster. So he knows. Though Severus must recognize that it took the Lord an awful long time to realize just how long the him bearing a heir has been avoided which was the sole reason that backed this rotten marriage of them.
Maybe Black feels upset on the amount of time that has been wasted on something that Severus would never allow to happen. He has made so many potions during their time together that he even doubts he's still capable of having a child, the side effects of most of them he does not even want to know. The only thing that matters is that they're childless, everything else was second to this.
"I'm a man," he finally replies to the tough eyes in front of him "You seem to forget it all the time. That kind of things do not happen to men like..."
"You are a man. Nobody is doubting that but I see men like you carrying babes just fine, Rodrick's husband has had four babes while you seem to be unable to, at least, get pregnant. Though I must tell you, your smell does not lie, husband, it has never lied to me."
There is no point in fighting this, Severus knows that perfectly well and yet there's this anger bubbling up inside him. Black steps closer to him, craziness is visible in his gaze, the pupils are so big that the silver in his eyes are just a very thin ring that can be barely seen. His hands touch Severus' hair caressing it with such a gentleness that makes the man want to slap both hands, but he stays still as he contemplates the beast of his nightmares.
He never knows what to expect from Sirius, he's a bigger mystery to Severus than death itself. A beast, a crazy lord, a bully that mocks him and a devoted husband who touches him like he's delicate china that can crumble under the touch. Black loves breaking him, loves pressuring him. How he can go from anger, from demanding a heir to touching him with such tenderness? How can he be so fucking insane?
His fingers touch his lips once, his thumb taking the time to slip multiple times before he finally gets closer ending the gap between them. A possessive and demanding kiss makes Severus gasp for air while Black drags him down with him, awaking something that feels forbidden even though they have done this more times than he would like to recognize.
Black wants everything from him, he explores his mouth, engages in a fight with Severus' tongue and bites his lip tasting the blood like its a delicacy. He wants more, his hunger something so big that not even gluttony could be compared to what Black shows him.
"My beautiful husband, " he says between kisses, his hand following the path of Severus' neck stroking it gently leaving away all irritation and anger. He always forgets about just how much they hate each other when they start fucking. "What would this world be without you, my darling?" he asks intoxicated on his own arousal, high on whatever it is that Severus' smell causes on him.
"I hate you." The phrase can barely escape his lips that are still being dominated by his husband.
"Yes, I know" Black replies with a smile as he finally takes a break from their kisses, there's the dangerous glow of amusement shining in those silver eyes. He comes closer again, lowering his head so he can better kiss Severus' neck. "But it has never mattered to me, my love, and I don't see how it will now."
He's pushed closer to the bed while Black makes it his mission to kiss every single part of his body, the path starting on the pale neck followed by his chest and stomach. Severus' clothes that were already in a poor state after his failed escape end up becoming rags as Black decides that they're nothing but a obstacle between him and what he wants.
The black pants that he has been wearing are soon ripped, he lets out a exasperated groan as the cold breeze touches his already sensitive skin. Black hums before bringing his fingers to his underwear, the unholy wait makes Severus tremble and his dark eyes stare at his husband hoping that he cuts it short.
"Are you punishing me?" he asks upset when his husband seems more interested in putting a kiss on his thighs after destroying his underwater. His erection is left unattended, the cold in the room making it even more painful. "If you're going to do it, do it correctly, Black." he growls.
"You're in no position to demand anything, husband." Black answers annoyed lifting his head just barely to give him with a stern look "You're being punished, just so you know. I will tire you out, Severus, so you better practice your patience."
Before he can say anything at all, Black sinks his teeth on his thigh making him whimper. Stupid beast. Severus grabs the dark wavy hair in his hand trying to take him off but its too late, Black leaves him another bite before moving to his dick taking it on his calloused hands as he begins stroking it so good that tears fill Severus' eyes, the feeling of some warm hands protecting him from the cold of the room makes him feel even more aroused.
A whimper leaves his mouth. He does not want to think about how, when he was running away, he had given thought to how much he would miss this. Black is a stupid bastard, a beast, a good for nothing asshole that makes him want to kill himself but the sex was never the issue, in fact it might be the only thing that has not been bad.
It's not like he has had much experience, Black is the only one that has ever had his body this way and he will probably be the last one even though Severus has to recognize that sex has been something he came to expect and want. His husband is a handsome man, he knows that, with a body that was very close to perfection after years of hard training and a face that inspires tales and songs on its own, it is hard to keep hating the man when their bodies collide and he gets lost on how good it feels to be desired by somebody so godlike.
Black knows his body best, his fingers know where to press, his tongue all the sensitive places that make Severus' eyes roll back and his dick is enough to make him forget temporally just how fucked up it was that he is not free at all. Sex is the only good thing... sex and the aftermath when he feels his body relaxing, melting over the warm anatomy of his husband.
"Fuck, " Severus whimpers when Black strokes his tip "Please, please, please. " he begs while putting his arm over his eyes, his nipples are so hard that the breeze feels like putting ice over them and he's already wet everywhere, almost desperate to be satisfied. The pleasure of release is just a few strokes away, it pains so good that he can barely concentrate on anything else but the beautiful pace that Black keeps while he toys with his dick.
"Are you close, my love?" The beast asks, his voice is so dangerously low and intoxicating.
"Yeah, "he moans feeling it, almost there, so close that he already can taste it, the release and the way his voice will crack when he can finally see the stars again. He is waiting for it, focused on every movement, the raw touch of those calloused fingers, it's so close... and then Black stops "What the fuck are you doing?"
His dick fucking hurts. It's so hard that even when Black's fingers leave him alone, it stays still pulsating with the need of release. He takes his arm away and blinks trying to get used to the clarity, obviously he pressed it way to hard as he can see dark spots.
"You are being punished, Severus. You will have to wait. " Black gives him a wicked smile before taking off his own pants.
"I can't wait. " He says frustrated taking his hands to his dick to finish it himself but before he can touch it, both of his hands are fixed over his head with a silent hex "What the fuck?! Black, release me."
"I will, my love, but you will wait. " His husband says.
"It hurts, do it now. " he demands, Black shakes his head letting a little smile decorate his lips.
Beautiful, he really is gorgeous and Severus hates the way he can see the beauty in that fucking beast. It doesn't help his erection that his own husband is the main cause of his desires, it doesn't help at all that he wants Black's hands, tongue and lips to take care of him just like he has done in so many occasions.
He wants to punch himself for being so weak, it shouldn't be so easy for Black to make him beg for release, it shouldn't be so easy to break all the dignity in him like this. Was he truly so dick desperate? Severus wishes he could be stronger, less interested in the act of sex, of feeling really wanted and taken care of. He wishes he could stay angry and indifferent to his husband's touch but it's way too much.
It's impossible to not want him. He was not blind.
"You are wet already. " Black says, his tongue licks the juices spilling from his just like it's the nectar of a fruit, takes his time until he notices that Severus is enjoying it way too much and decides to retreat letting out a chuckle.
"Stop playing. " he tells Black frustrated.
"I'm not playing. " He replies sinking his head on Severus' lower half, he licks his dick like it's a candy, just one big lig that makes him swear he's about to come but no, it only make his hard even harder and brings out a moan from the deep of his belly, pains mixes with pleasure. "You're so sensitive, you know that?"
His husband leaves his dick alone, hard and beating. Severus really can't take him no more, this type of torture worse than everything he has lived yet.
"Black..."
"I'm so mad at you, " his husband says while entering one finger inside him, it feels so good that Severus closes his eyes and a hard breath leaves his mouth. "Why do you keep running away from me? Don't I fuck you good enough?" the finger plays, traces a circle that makes Severus want to close his legs but he can't "Answer, husband."
"You do. " Severus can barely breathe.
"I do, don't I? I fuck you real good, I buy you the best books, I never let you go hungry. " a second finger joins the first one and the movement changes completely, it's an up and down that makes him feel so uncomfortable and yet so good "I make love to you quite regularly and showed you how good I am with Harry and yet, you want to get away from me, you don't want to give me a heir..."
"Black, please... "
"Are you going to give me a heir, Sev?" he asks gently removing his fingers. Suddenly not only his dick is hard as fuck but also his lower body is asking to be filled, the need is too bad that he can barely can concentrate on what is going on. "Or are you going to run away again? Are you going to find somebody else to give you less than what I can give you?"
Black has never been this cruel to him, not when they have sex. He has never left him without what he wants but today it seems like he's truly pissed, Severus looks at him with begging eyes, hungry and desperate to have his needs attended.
"You..."
"You are mine, " Black says with deep dilated pupils, the frown on his face shows that he's serious and jealous, of what exactly he doesn't know "You are mine alone and you will stop running away. You're my husband, Severus, mine and mine alone. Get it on your head."
He is breathtaking, even when he looks insane Black is the most gorgeous thing he has ever seen. It's so unfair. The dark wavy hair falls along his husband's neck reminding him of the drawings of fairies and his red lips look glorious, wet from his own slick, with those hard delusional eyes that show a linage of insanity. The most beautiful beast that he has ever seen. It's so fucking unfair.
Severus shuts his eyes, hatred burning not just for his husband but also for himself. How easily he lets himself be dragged back to this, reduced to somebody else's property when a few years ago he used to be someone. Is this what his life is going to be until he dies? A fuck toy for a crazy lord, an incubator for his children who loses his head whenever they fuck? Is he really so fucking stupid when desire numbs his mind?
"I don't... "
"Maybe I should fuck you until you finally get it."
Black's hands grab his waist just like they did in the forest but now the force is so much bigger, the fingers surely will leave his waist marked adding to the bruises that Severus got during the last few days.
It feels like years since the last time he and Black had sex so when he feels the tip of his husband's dick inside him, it's almost like he's back on their wedding night again. He will never get used to it, the warmth, the pressure and the way his body reshapes itself around the thick meat. It's too good, too hard, too big and yet too perfect. He closes his eyes and bites his lip in an attempt to distract himself from the delicious pain, he can barely breathe until all of his husband is inside him.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck. " He says and the desperation for taking care of his erection is too much. "Move, please, move." he begs.
"We will do it my way, husband. Really slow for you to get just how much you have pissed me off this time. "
Black stays true to his words, he does it so slow that Severus can taste every single movement and it makes him go insane. It's so slow and yet it feels so good, every time the tip hits the sweet spot of his body it feels like he's melting under Black's fingertip, the pleasure sending waves of heat to every single part of his body, too intoxicating, too real. When he retreats, it's almost like taking away a coat on a winter night, painful and aggravating as Severus can't do nothing to keep him inside, warming him. The dangerously slow pace makes him feel like it's years before he can be filled, again.
"Please, go faster."
"Do you get it now? " Black asks, his fingers are still pressing Severus' hips.
"Yeah, I get it."
"Will you run away?"
"I won't, I won't run away." He lies, of course he does when his husband is keeping his orgasm away from his, he feels the warm meat burning his hole and his slick mixing with Black's precum. "I will give you a heir, just do it faster."
It's almost like the words pronounce break a spell for Black as his movements become faster while he grabs Severus' waist harder letting himself moan on his ear. His thrusts are determined, they bring more tears to his eyes as he feels his orgasm finally be released from his body. Cum shoots and lays on his belly while Black takes care of his own erection, his dick hitting Severus' sweet spot making it so tender, the pain is so minuscule to the pleasure of having him finally taking care of his tortured body giving him what he wants.
No, the sex has never been an issue. He moans and feels his dick getting hard again, just when he thinks he'll have to go through this again those unforgiving fingers grab his manhood stroking him once, twice, thrice until he comes just in time to finish with his husband. Gods, chills go through his body as he feels the thick cum inside him.
The aftermath of sex that usually feels as good as the act itself does not taste the same this time as Severus feels so fucking disgusted with himself, with what he said. He really lost himself to a orgasm like a cheap whore? He wants to cry as he watches Black get out of him, frustrated by his weakness and inability to refuse his husband.
"No, don't cry. " Black says caressing his cheeks, his hands smell of him, of sex "I'm not angry anymore, my love, it's alright."
"I don't give a fuck about you being angry. " he says hiding away from Black, he feels his cheeks burning "I was so close this time, I really was."
"Severus..." Black gets in the bed with him, releases his hands from the spell and kisses his cheeks with gentleness "You weren't close, my love, I would never allow you to escape me."
"Why?" he asks and can't help the way his voice breaks, heavy tears start falling as he contemplates the man sitting next to him. "Why must you do this to me, Sirius? Why me?"
"You truly don't get it yet?" the question falls flat to Severus, his black eyes look at the man in front of him. "You lied to me, didn't you?"
"Of course I lied. I was desperate. " he replies angry at the stupid question.
This obviously gets his husband angry again, the soft gaze hardening in front of him. It's the way things go around with them, they get angry, they fuck and get angry again. Why they're married is one of those things that Severus can not understand.
He has always hated Black, he is everything Severus is not. A noble, born to power and a title that kept him from ever suffering hunger or living in poverty while Severus is a commoner, son of a highborn's bastard and a drunkard that would hit him every time he got mad. How they met was nothing short of a terrible coincidence that he still regrets to this day.
Severus met Lily Evans on a terribly rainy afternoon, he was no even ten years of age when she found him just like one finds a pet. He was a starving, ugly thing that needed saving while she was a noble girl, dressed in the most beautiful clothes that money could buy. It was clear from the first moment just how much she felt sorry for him. One of Lily Evan's best quality was her heart and empathy, what she saw on him was enough to beg her parents to please take him in. Even though he didn't think it possible, Severus was moved to the Evans' Residence as a companion, a friend. He was given an education, new clothes that had not been previously used by somebody else and even though he was not in the same level as Lily or her sister, he still was considered something like a son to the Evans' family and for that he would always be grateful. He tried his hardest to be a good friend for Lily, he really did.
Just three years after he went to live with the Evans, the whole family was invited to a celebration for the Crown Prince. It was the only thing the whole kingdom talked about as it was known that the purpose of said event was to find the heir a consort. Severus didn't give that part of the event much thought, little did he know that it would change everything as the Prince took interest in Lily and soon they were invited to stay in the Castle. The Evans saw this as the biggest honor of all, Severus hated the idea.
He hated changes.
And he also had disliked the Prince and his friends, they were unnecessarily rude to him just because Lily and him were friends. Everything started on a bad foot at the welcoming party when they had dropped a drink on his suit so he could leave and let the Prince and Lily alone. That wasn't necessary, they could've just asked for some privacy instead of embarrassing in front of all the noble houses. It had taken everything in Severus not to start crying there, he had been kinda excited to meet some of the attendees as they were important wizards of society and he was really interested in making a good impression. He had to make a name for himself just in case one day the Evans got tired of him, his suit was the only one he had for the whole event and it had been ruined on the very first day. Anger filled him as he stared at the ruined clothes.
Because the Prince and his friends were dicks, Severus made it his mission that night to make it impossible for the Prince to talk to his redhead friend, faking that he wasn't feeling well, making Lily dance with him all night long and then even lying about Petunia crying so she wouldn't have a chance at all to talk to the Prince. If he had known just how this would come back to him in the future, he would have never done that. The Prince was an absolute brat so Severus denying him the possibility to talk to Lily just made him even more obsessed.
After they moved to the Castle, Black who Severus knew as the Prince's best friend had decided that he would make him pay for the party situation and that he did. The oldest made his life a living hell for years, pranks that embarrassed him in front of the whole Castle, ruined potions that made Severus get into trouble, silly arguments with Lily that ended up in huge fights. It was terrible. Black was an agent of chaos, he could make a little issue go to a whole war without even trying and it was like even though Severus tried to hide from him, the boy would always find him. He hated him. He really did. Specially because Black has always been beautiful while Severus went through a really awkward puberty that made him extremely insecure so it was really easy for the taller boy to target all his insecurities making him the joke of the whole Castle. Many times Severus thought about leaving, many times he stayed because of his best friend who he was slowly growing apart from. He also stayed because actually there was no place he could go to.
After the former king died, there was a celebration for the Prince's coronation where Severus met Lucius Malfoy for the first time. He was a captivating man who saw a raw potential in Severus and was interested in exploring it, he invited him to Slytherin where he would be given a position as a potion maker which was more than Severus would get in Gryffindor, he was not exactly trusted at all by the people at the Castle after years of terrible accidents with his potions. It was an amazing proposal so after Lily and the Prince finally got married, Severus decided that it was time to leave the Castle for good and make a name for himself.
Lily had not been happy at all when he told him about his choice but Severus knew that she would be okay, he had stayed with her for years and he felt like he had payed the favour. Yes, she saved his life but he had been a good friend and now that she was married and about to start a family there was no reason to keep Severus there.
He was about to leave for Slytherin when the King called for him, once he got to the throne he saw that Black was also present which made him wary. He could never relax under the silver eyes, his sole presence was enough to activate the fight or fly instict on him. It took him just a few seconds to look past Black to notice Lily who had obviously cried. He should've known there that something was extremely wrong but he could have never imagine that his best friend would betray him like that.
The fact that Severus was a bearer was something so shameful to him that he had made it his personal mission to never let anyone know, after all just a few people could smell bearers and he was particularly ugly so no one would have ever imagined. His bearing mark was pale and barely visible, always hiding underneath heavy layers of clothes. The only person who knew about his condition was Lily and she had swore to keep it secret... she broke that oath quite easily.
The King made it very clear, he had decided that it would be better if he and Black got married. Severus tried to fight it as much as he could, he begged his friend to stop such nonsense but Lily refused to help him as she considered it was the best option. Slytherin was known for their lack of loyalty to the Kingdom and he was too close to them, it would be dangerous to let someone with so much access go there.
That broke his heart. The fact that his best friend thought him capable of betraying her just like she had betrayed him by telling his enemies of his condition. Everything he had thought of their relationship to that point was proving to be fake and that was just too much to take, he cried for the first time in front of them. Defeated, humiliated and hurt. How can she think him so shallow? So ungrateful? When he had stayed after so much harassment just for her.
He never really had a choice, he was married to Black in a matter of three days in a fast paced wedding that looked too well prepared for him to believe that the choice had been made that easily. He didn't know what to think, the idea of Lily's betrayal being bigger than what initially thought made him spiral for hours as he cried waiting for somebody, anybody to save him. Damn, he even wished his own abusive father would interrupt the wedding and drag him by the hair calling him a stupid good for nothing bastard. He was scared, what type of marriage could Black and him have? They hated each other, nothing good could come out of that. He shaked like a leaf during the whole ceremony praying that Black would start laughing before declaring that it was all just a big joke, that it wasn't real and this was the last prank before he could be free forever. That did not happen.
Soon he was called Severus Black, his things were moved to the another bedroom and he had to carry marital duties that he never asked for. He hated Black, he really did specially because the man acted like it wasn't a big deal, like they hadn't taken his freedom away without even considering Severus' feelings.
It was even worst that he soon realized that not only Lily had betrayed him but also that Black could smell him. His secret was never one as the man had always been able to know what he was hiding, just another stab that Severus could not take at all. Every time he ran away, his dog husband would find him and bring him back... just like now.
"I don't think that was enough, husband. " Black says making blink confused "You obviously didn't learn your lesson and I need you to be tired for tomorrow. Let's continue then."
He barely has time to refused when his lips meet Black's, the touch of his husband's fingers leave a burning sensation that make Severus dizzy and needy for more. Another wave of shame washes him as his body burns for Black yet again.
The sun catches them still at it, the dawn colors the tent as Severus comes one final time. He feels so tired he can barely keep his eyes open though his husband seems perfectly fine, cleans him with a spell and dresses him in fine clothes that belong to him. There's no way to fully explain just how embarrassed Severus feels once they walk through the camp all the way to the horses they have to ride back to the Castle.
Even though he feels like he ran for what felt like months, it takes them a day and a half to arrive at the Castle, the building feels just as intimidating as it did the first time Severus saw it when he was nothing but a kid living the death of his childhood, he had not known back then that his life would change forever once he entered it but he knows it now. He knows that once he sets foot inside it will be more difficult to leave again. Now the cold walls are nothing but the cage where he lives until the end of his days, until he finally can get rid of Black once and for all.
"The King and Queen are asking for you. " A knight tells Black.
Severus does not want to go but his husband forces him to walk, he can feel the humiliation sitting down on his belly which every step he takes. Anger fills him as he presses his fist and bites his lip, he doesn't want to think about how fucked up he looks, the deep bags under his eyes, the scratch in his cheek from falling to the ground, the marks Black left on his neck as a way to show the possession. If he looks just as half bad as he feels, then it must not be a nice sight at all.
"Severus, " Lily calls for him, the crown on her head combines with her green eyes so enchanting and beautiful "I'm so happy you were found."
He cringes at her words, her worried expression makes him feel sick. Forgiveness has been such a recurrent thought in his head when he thinks of their relationship but it's still so far away when every time she chooses their side instead of his. Can she really not see this from his point of view? Is she truly so blind?
"Glad you found him, Sirius," says the King staring at both of them "It's a very distasteful act this one you seem to do every couple weeks, Severus, you might want to finally grow up and stop."
Anger bubbles as he stares at the King, of course he would try to paint him as immature for wanting to escape from the life he sentenced him to live. They were all culprits of his misery, all of the. Highborn assholes who played with him like a toy ignoring the fact that he was a real a human being with feelings.
"Your king has spoken to you, husband, " Sirius lifts an eyebrow looking at him waiting for his response " Do answer."
"I want to sleep." he says deciding that just this once, he will not make a fool of himself.
Nothing would entertain more the fools at court than to see him embarrass himself just one more time but he will not do it. Not today.
"Severus... "
"Lord Black, please go take him to sleep. " Lily begs, worry dripping from her green eyes while she looks at Severus with a pity smile that makes him feel disgusted "He looks so skinny, please get him some food."
"I have always been skinny, your majesty. " He really can't help himself this time, bitterness leaves with every single word "You know that, you all do." he adds annoyed.
Black takes him to their chambers before he can say anything else, his husband is tensed as he enters their room and orders the maids to prepare a bath. Severus wishes nothing more than to be left alone but he knows better than to expect his husband to leave. Even if the room they share is huge, Black takes over most of the space making him feel claustrophobic, small, suffocated.
Once the bath is ready, the maids retire from the room leaving them alone so Black can start undressing Severus before helping him enter the wooden bath. It's a weird pleasure for his husband to clean him, maybe after all the years of calling him dirty when they were teenagers has made some damage on Black's mind to the point he feels like Severus can not clean himself properly. It's not the first time he does so and it'll surely not be the last one.
Severus just accepts the touch while he grieves the freedom he was so close to get just a day ago, he lets his tears hide between the water that runs after Black washes his hair. It's so fucking unfair. No more fresh air is hitting his cheeks, in his bedrooms all the windows are shut and no sunshine can color his skin here. No more forest, no more running.
When his husband finishes cleaning him, he joins the bath making it slightly uncomfortable as the both of them don't fit in the bath. He ends up sitting on Black's lap while those diabolic fingers grab his dick again stroking it slowly. Of course. His eyes find the bold silver ones that belong to his husband, he whimpers under the touch closing his eyes. Sadness is followed by pleasure, by the need to have more and be taken care. Both things can coexist well enough, Severus realizes, he can be sad and horny all at same time.
"Please," And he does not know what he wants more, to disappear or to be relieved by his husband, touched, loved, hated. What was worse? His cruel jokes when they were teen boys or the obsession now that they're men? Was it worse to be the object of his pranks or the thing he adored the most?
"You're back home." Black says caressing his tip with just the right amount of pressure "And you won't leave again, my love."
Severus does not have an erection, not yet at least but he's extremely sensitive to his touch. He looks at his husband's beautiful face before kissing him, slowly, dropping salty tears that end up in his tongue somehow. He buries himself deep in Black's embrace, the only thing it seems like he can actually possess, he loses himself in a velvety kiss and tries, he really tries to forget how he failed at getting away.
Things escalate quite rapidly, Sirius accommodates him so he can ride his dick. The position is uncomfortable just for a brief moment but from this point of view he can see Black's thick wet eyelashes, his perfect eyebrows and the long tanned neck that stays intact while Severus' own is filled with love bites. Black's fingers hold his hips helping him go up and down his length, he can see how his Adam's Apple move while he moans and how his lip tremble. Beautiful and wicked. Fairy tales always lie about monsters being ugly just like they lie about happy endings, it's never that easy. His husband opens his eyes before reaching to kiss him once again.
The water gets dirty after that.
He doesn't feel much cleaner after the bath, the depression of failure makes him feel sick even when he's wearing new fancy clothes and laying in the comfortable bed he shares with Black. Not only he's upset at being back at the Castle but he also feels dirty, betrayed by his biology and that disgusting desire for his husband to which he always gives up not matter how much he despises him.
"You do enjoy it, " Black says resting his head on the pillow next to Severus " And soon you will be with my child and you will enjoy being a father too... Please my love, stop fighting me."
Again the mention of a heir makes him feel ill. He had thought, just a few days ago, that he had left it all behind and that there was a new life waiting for him. It pains him, more than he can explain, how wrong he was about that.
"I will hate the child. " Severus replies coldly, he is shaking from rage and unhappiness "I will hate it if it looks like you, I will hate it if it looks like me and I will make my hatred known so one day it will ask you why their father hates them so much and you will regret everything you've done in your life."
Black doesn't reply and Severus doesn't want him to. His eyes feel as heavy as his head, the exhaustion of running away and traveling back to the castle is finally catching up to him for real. Maybe tomorrow, he thinks while he drifts away, he will prepare a potion strong enough to make his smell disappear or one that will make him infertile forever. He knows he will try to run away but right now it just doesn't make sense to keep thinking about it specially when this failure is so fresh.
"It doesn't matter if you hate it." Black whispers just as he's about to fall asleep for good "What matters is that it will make you slow down when you run away and it will remind you, always, to whom you belong."