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“There’s coffee for you on the counter.” Dan called out upon hearing Phil’s socked feet pad into the kitchen. He didn’t look up from his phone, continuing his questionable morning ritual of checking Reddit while chewing on the side of his thumb.
“Thank you, prince.” Phil called back, completely deadpan and only after Dan heard him take an obnoxiously loud slurp of the coffee. He shook his head, chuckling a bit fondly to himself. There was something rewarding about getting out of bed 45 minutes before Phil to make them both coffee and let it cool down the perfect amount for Phil to drink it as soon as he decided to get up.
Dan swiped past some suggested posts the Reddit algorithm seemed to think he would be interested in, sparing a passing glance for the subreddits he actually followed. This routine was more of a habit than anything, as there wasn’t really much movement in any of his interests at the moment. He wasn’t looking for anything in particular but he still felt compelled to look. In the next room, he could hear Phil making himself a bowl of cereal. He paused to listen carefully, trying to hear if the cupboard door got closed. His hopes were astronomically low.
By the time Phil joined him in the living room, Dan could vividly picture at least one cupboard door and two drawers sitting ajar in their kitchen. Maybe even the refrigerator door if Phil was feeling particularly unhinged this morning.
“Did you close the cupboards?” Dan asked, still nibbling on his thumb nail, it was basically rhetorical.
“Yeah.” Phil answered, immediately and with 100% undeserved confidence.
“You know I could hear you in there.” Dan said, putting his phone down on the couch beside him. “I didn’t hear any doors closing.”
“Maybe you should get your ears checked.” Phil fired back sassily. He was standing in front of Dan, locked in a stalemate, waiting to see how this particular iteration of this fight would go today. He had a bowl of cereal in one hand and his mug in the other, a bit of a precarious situation for a guy with weak wrists and a penchant for clumsiness. He was wearing his Ibuprofen t-shirt and his Minecraft pajama pants and… Oh!
“Phil!” Dan cried, bringing his hand to his chest as if he was clutching his metaphorical pearls. It was rare that anything Phil did could shock him anymore, but he was scandalized. Phil was rock hard and it was extremely visible in his well-worn favorite pajama bottoms.
“What?” Phil’s face scrunched up in confusion from the sudden outburst. Dan could only gesture emphatically at his crotch in reply, and Phil looked down at himself like it was his first time seeing his own erection. “Oh. I’m just waiting for it to go away. I’m too lazy to have a wank.”
“Phil…” Dan said again, now sounding wholly disappointed, “What the fuck? You’re just gonna eat your cereal like that?”
“And? It’s my business how I want to eat my cereal!” Phil retorted, finally moving from his spot to put his coffee down on the side table.
Dan reared back in his seat as soon as Phil came close, “You’re gonna take my eye out with that thing!” He cried, once again gesticulating wildly at Phil’s crotch.
He couldn’t take his eyes off it, to be honest. Phil wasn’t just half-chub like he woke up from a mildly sexy dream, his fully erect dick was tenting his pants, and Dan could see everything. Phil never wore underwear with his pajamas and the Minecraft ones were his favorite, so the fabric was thin and threadbare from so many wears and washes. He was at eye level with an offensively green cock, and he really didn’t like how hot it kind of was.
Phil was always hot in the mornings, with his deliciously scratchy stubble growing in, his hair mussed like how it always ended up after sex, his slutty little glasses on, his voice extra deep like it hadn’t fully woken up yet… Dan unconsciously reached out, controlled by his own lust, grabbing Phil by the hip before he could sit down on the couch next to him.
He gazed up at the man before him. Phil was still holding his bowl of cereal in one hand while using his other to cover his mouth as he giggled, “Be careful, it’s got a mind of its own.”
What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Dan thought, but instead of saying it, he decided to out-weird Phil for once. He licked the obscenely visible outline of Phil’s cock head through the pajama pants. Phil yelped in surprise and stumbled forward, his hand flying to steady himself on Dan’s shoulder. Dan could hear the spoon precariously dragging around the rim of the ceramic bowl.
“Dan!” Phil gasped as Dan licked him again, squeezing hard on Dan’s shoulder. Dan grabbed his other hip, pulling him in closer until his shins were pressed against the couch cushions. Dan scooched himself forward too, slotting his knee in between Phil’s legs and wrapping his hand around the back of Phil’s thigh.
He could feel the warmth of Phil’s body heat through the thin green fabric, and the way Phil’s cock twitched pathetically at the contact. The poor little guy had been neglected all morning… Dan grabbed where he suspected the base of Phil’s dick was through the pants and sucked the tip into his mouth. The taste was… interesting. It mostly just tasted like… fabric, he guessed. Also a bit like how their detergent smelled but with Phil’s salty precome seeping through.
It was kind of hard to fully commit to it because it felt wrong to be essentially rubbing cloth all over his tongue. The instinct you have is to avoid getting clothes wet, and Dan was just slobbering all over the crotch of Phil’s pants. The more wet his pajama pants got, the more visible his cock was through them. The fabric was now clinging to the shape of his tip, and that visual just made Dan want to suck him down even more.
“Dan… my Crunchy Nut is gonna get all soggy.” Phil complained, a bit breathlessly. He ran his fingers through Dan’s hair in an attempt to coax Dan to make eye contact with him.
Dan pulled off of him, and his mouth felt weird and dry, “I’ll give you a soggy nut.” He croaked, before getting right back to work.
Phil half laughed and half groaned in pleasure. Dan was stroking the outline of his shaft while sucking on the head. The limitations of the cloth prevented him from being able to go down any further, but his spit was slowly dripping down Phil’s entire crotch. The vibrant green fabric grew darker with the spreading wetness, defiling the poor Minecraft character.
“Dan.” Phil sighed, tightening his grip on Dan’s curls. “If you want to suck my dick, can you like, do it normally?”
“No.” Dan answered without fully taking his mouth off Phil’s cock. He swirled his tongue around the head, trying his best to create suction despite the airflow through the fabric. “Wanna see if you can come like this.” Dan explained, taking a break to rest his cheek on Phil’s hip. He reached his hand down to the sagging bottom of the crotch of Phil’s pants and pushed up until he was fondling his balls.
“I don’t think I can.” Phil gasped despite his protests, leaning forward and sending his spoon careening towards the other side of the cereal bowl. He squeaked, grabbing the bowl with both hands to steady it. “It-it’s really weird.”
“Well that just sounds like a challenge.” Dan huffed, ducking down to attempt to lick at Phil’s balls. He kept his hand wrapped around Phil’s cock head, twisting his fist around the damp fabric. The friction felt alien against his own hand and tongue, so he couldn’t imagine how Phil’s dick felt right now.
Phil yelped above him, the spoon clattering dangerously against the edge of the bowl again. “Daaan~” Phil whined, “Can’t I at least set my cereal down?”
“No.” Dan refused with a smug laugh, never easing his stroking. He leaned back slightly in his seat, making deliberate eye contact with Phil to say, “I want you to come just like this.”
“I can’t!” Phil protested with a pout, “Please, Dan.” He whimpered, his hips twitching from the strange sensation. It was still good, but it was weird.
“Please, what?” Dan teased, looking up at Phil as he dragged his tongue across his tip. He was leaking so much precome that it was all Dan could taste now, and it was making his pajama pants even more wet. It was a pathetic sight, and Dan fucking loved it.
“Please let me take my dick out.” Phil begged, his plea was surprisingly desperate. “Please suck my dick normally, you… f-freak.” He stumbled over the insult like he wasn’t sure which word to choose.
“You’re gonna come for me just like this.” Dan assured, rubbing the side of Phil’s thigh comfortingly. He knew Phil didn’t like being bossed around too much, he had to play his cards a certain way. “You’re so good for me, yeah?”
“I guess…” Phil admitted reluctantly. He had both his hands gripped tight on his bowl, his cereal no doubt soggy and maybe even uncomfortably warm by now. Perhaps that was what he deserved for not closing the cupboards…?
“C’mon, Philly,” Dan cooed, mockingly sweet, pressing his cheek to Phil’s hip. “Be a good boy and come for me.” He laid his hand flat against the length of Phil’s cock, trying to get as much surface area rubbing against him through the soaked fabric.
“I-I haven’t come in my pants in so long…” Phil sighed through his attempts at objection, his breath hitching from the stimulation nonetheless. “It feels wrong.”
“Doesn’t that make it sexier?” Dan bit his lip, maybe that was revealing something troubling about his psyche. He didn’t really have time to get into that right now.
“No.” Phil quickly answered, “I don’t know. Fuck. I can’t think.” Phil screwed his eyes shut, like he had to focus all his energy on reaching his orgasm in this strange situation.
Dan felt Phil’s cock twitch underneath his hand and excitedly sped up his strokes. He pulled at the loose material of the pajama pants, trying to rearrange it to get a better grip around Phil’s cock. He sucked his tip back into his mouth, eager to feel it twitch against his tongue and get a taste of Phil’s cum through the thin fabric. Dan relentlessly pressed his tongue against the head while twisting his hand around the base as much as the fabric would allow.
Finally, Phil gasped, his body jolting forward uncontrollably and sending his spoon spinning around the edge of the bowl once more. Dan suddenly couldn’t resist sitting back to watch the scene unfold before him. He pulled the fabric tight, watching with unbridled glee as some of the milky cum seeped though, even further desecrating the image of the Minecraft Creeper printed on the pants. He lapped up the cum, moaning at the sensation of Phil’s dick spitting out his release straight into his mouth. Well, not straight into his mouth, it passed through the pajama pants “filter” first.
Dan snorted at the thought, quickly devolving into chuckles and then into a full-blown laughing fit. “What the fuck is my life?” He asked the air, wiping tears from his eyes. “Why did I find that hot?”
Phil was busy recovering from what was probably one of the top 5 weirdest orgasms of his life. He finally put his cereal bowl down, and it was a sad sight to behold. All the Crunchy Nut flakes were almost completely dissolved, now just little bits and pieces floating pathetically in the room temperature milk. Dan caressed the side of his thigh again to offer his condolences.
“Sorry for getting your pajamas all gross.” Dan apologized, now feeling a bit sheepish seeing Phil’s wet crotch in the post-nut clarity. He hadn’t even been the one to nut, either. Actually, now he kind of understood what Phil meant earlier about being too lazy to have a wank, because he really didn’t feel like dealing with the hardness in his pants. He’d probably just wait for it to go away.
“It’s okay.” A mischievous grin grew on Phil’s spaced-out face, “I got milk in your hair.” He admitted, pointing at Dan’s head with a giggle.
“Phil!” Dan screeched, his fingers immediately finding a wet spot on the top of his head. He wrapped his arms around Phil’s legs and tackled him onto the couch in retaliation. On the way down, one of Phil’s shins found itself pressed firmly between Dan’s legs. Ehh, maybe he would get off this morning after all.
Phil’s heart rate picked up speed as soon as he heard the front door open. Dan was home from the gym. He looked back at his phone, trying in vain to regain interest in his previous activity, doomscrolling Twitter. Play it cool, Lester.
The front door shut a bit too hard, and Phil could hear Dan huffing and puffing and groaning and moaning as he traveled through their previously silent house. His anticipation grew as Dan came closer to where Phil sat in their bedroom. Phil swiped past tweet after tweet, not even bothering to read any of them, just waiting and listening. Then, Dan opened the door to the other bedroom.
What the fuck?
Phil frowned, throwing his phone down on the bed next to him in his disappointment. He loved after-gym Dan, why was he being deprived right now? He tried to keep listening, maybe Dan was just getting something from the other room before joining Phil in their bedroom? There wasn’t much noise coming from the other man anymore, though Phil still caught the occasional groan. What exactly was he doing in there?
The realization hit Phil like a ton of bricks, Dan was in that room to shower… He was going to wash away all the precious after-gym Dan glory without even seeing Phil first? Selfish evil man.
Phil quickly threw his legs over the side of the bed, shuffling over to the bedroom across the hall. The closed door was like another brick to the face, was nothing in their relationship sacred anymore? He twisted the knob and tossed the door open. A wave of momentary relief washed over him when he saw Dan sprawled out on the bed with a towel next to him. He hadn’t showered yet, thank god.
He looked so fucking good. His hair was a mess, curlier than ever, thanks to the sweat, and uncaringly shoved up and out of his face. He had fat beads of sweat on his forehead and dripping down his cheeks. His face was flushed red from exertion, his cute little rosy patch stood out starkly on his cheek. He was spread out on the bed with his legs hanging off the end, his chest heaving like he was still struggling to catch his breath. Phil bet if he was wearing any color other than black, he would have egregiously visible sweat stains on his tank top. His feet were planted on the ground, his knees lazily spread open, and the ends of his shorts were riding up, showing off his tense and quivering thighs. Fuck… had it been squat day?
The best part? Dan was visibly half-hard in his pants. He always was when he came home from the gym. That mixture of pain and pleasure from the exertion of being pushed to his limits and his personal trainer praising him for his efforts always got him worked up.
Why had he so selfishly decided to gatekeep after-gym Dan today?
“You didn’t come see me when you got back.” Phil said, really trying and failing to not sound petulant about it.
“Sorry.” Dan mumbled back, staring at the ceiling. “I was gonna shower first but I’m too exhausted to stand right now.” He lifted the towel that was hanging loosely in his hand and immediately flinched from the apparent pain in his arm.
“You could have come in to say hi at least…” Phil weakly replied, cringing at his own mildly accusatory words. He didn't really want to start an argument with Dan right now, quite the contrary, actually. He walked further into the room, eager to get a closer look at the scene before him.
“Hi…” Dan breathed out with a slight chuckle, then immediately winced. He stiffly held his head in one place, like he was trying his best not to move. “Sorry, literally everything hurts right now.”
Phil scoffed, crossing his arms, “So that’s why you won’t even look at me?” He was sounding accusatory again despite his best efforts. He just couldn’t help but wear his heart on his sleeve around Dan, and frankly he was a little annoyed right now!
“Hey, I did this for you. I didn’t want to get our bed all sweaty, that’s why I came in here.” Dan explained, to the ceiling, and Phil was very quickly getting tired of not having his full attention. What did that trainer have him doing, neck exercises? Why couldn’t he spare Phil a glance?
“What if I like sweaty?” Phil snipped, frustration thrumming in his chest.
“Right.” Dan barked out a laugh, “I forgot you’re weird.”
Phil pursed his lips in disbelief, forgot? They’ve been together for how many years and Dan just forgot Phil was weird? Okay, he was gonna have to do something about that.
He crawled onto the bed, careful to avoid putting any pressure on Dan’s obviously sore body. He ended up curled up against Dan’s side, pillowing his head on one of Dan’s arms. It did earn him a grimace at first but Dan seemed to adjust quickly, surprisingly not protesting as Phil found his position. Once he was comfortable, he stuck his nose into the crook of Dan’s neck and inhaled deeply, he shuddered.
Fuck, after-gym Dan...
“You are so freaking strange, Phil Lester.” Dan mumbled, but he was the one tilting his head to the side so Phil could stick his face in closer.
“A lot of people like the smell of sexy man musk, Daniel.” Phil scolded, his lips brushing against Dan’s neck as he spoke and causing Dan’s breath to hitch. “Don’t be homophobic.”
Phil licked a fat stripe from Dan’s collarbone up to his ear lobe, groaning at the taste of Dan’s stale salty sweat. The best part about after-gym Dan was the fact that he had been marinating in it for so long and it was still potent from his walk home. Dan always stubbornly walked the 10 minutes back, even when he was exhausted like this. Phil squeezed his thighs together, the delicious friction against his half-hard cock had him moaning in Dan’s ear.
He sat up slightly, grabbing Dan’s surprisingly pliant arm from under his head and wrapping both his hands around the limb. A little after-gym squeeze check had become a bit of a tradition for Phil. He bit his lip, the way he could physically feel all the muscles in Dan’s arm progressively growing harder and more prominent after every gym visit was so hot.
“You’re getting so strong for me.” Phil flirted, fluttering his eyelashes and fighting the urge to sink his teeth into Dan’s bicep. Well, probably his bicep, he didn’t really know the arm muscles, but he was sure he’d get there eventually if he kept biting.
“Yeah, so I can hold you up next time you faint on me.” Dan shot back. He had a smirk on his face like it was supposed to be a joke but it came out embarrassingly sappy.
Phil grinned, “You like me or something?” He could no longer resist, he had to nibble at Dan’s arm. He was very polite about it though, just a little nip.
“Something like that, yeah.” Dan croaked, his voice low like he was confessing a secret. He was still staring at the damn ceiling.
Phil pushed Dan’s arm up, slowly lifting it above both of their heads and letting it rest on the bed there. Dan groaned in pain, but fuck, it was so hard to differentiate that sound from his sex moans. Phil squeezed his legs together once more, then rolled over so his hips were bracketing Dan’s thigh instead. Dan gasped, whether it was from his aching muscles or feeling Phil’s erection against his thigh, they may never know.
Phil was face-to-face with Dan’s armpit now, thank god for sleeveless tops, he inhaled. Fuck, he was so gay. Dan’s hairy armpit, his masculine deodorant, and his sweaty gym musk had Phil rocking his hips into Dan’s thigh. Curiously, he stuck his tongue out again, going in for a taste. The feeling of coarse hair against his tongue gave him the horniest déjà vu he had ever experienced, transporting him to a memory of being nose deep in Dan’s pubes.
The taste was an afterthought, but the second Phil processed the sour chemical tang that filled his mouth, he was regretting his life choices. He pulled back out with a sputter and a disgusted cry, sticking his tongue out, now weirdly dry from the antiperspirant. Dan’s deodorant had a flavor that was very clearly formulated to send signals to the human brain that it should not be consumed. Overall armpit licking experience: not as sexy as he was expecting, mildly disappointing.
“That was gross.” Phil muttered, giggling a bit at himself for ruining the moment. Though it was only his moment to ruin, Dan was just dutifully going along with it.
“Well I coulda told ya that.” Dan shot back, and Phil could hear him rolling his eyes even though Dan wouldn’t look at him.
“Shut up.” Phil half-heartedly scolded, shoving the side of Dan’s chest and causing him to wince. He gently rubbed the spot he had touched as an apology, “You don’t even like this anyway.” He sighed, feeling a bit shy about the fact that he was so much more into this than Dan was.
“I’m sorry Phil, I just don’t see what’s so sexy about my body odor.” Oh no, Dan was about to go on his whole spiel again. “I don’t wanna yuck anybody’s yum but—”
Phil cheekily shot his hand down to grab a handful of Dan’s dick to get him to shut up. He had a lot of nerve monologuing about not being into this when he went from being half-hard to fully erect during the process. Attention whore. Dan moaned, this time it was almost definitely in the sexy way, though he could be in pain from Phil humping his sore thigh. But then again, Dan did have a bit of a masochism streak, so it could be both.
As he fondled Dan through his sweaty shorts, Phil nuzzled his nose back into Dan’s sweaty neck. He inhaled deeply again, his exhale coming out shaky. The hot puffs of breath fanning across Dan’s sensitive neck caused a soft whimper to escape his lips. His legs jerked slightly, like he wanted to press them together and push his hips up to increase the pressure from Phil’s hand on him.
“Phil.” Dan sighed, like a warning. “I’m serious when I say I can’t move right now. I hope you’re not expecting much from me tonight.” He was clearly getting frustrated by his physical limitations, his aborted attempts at movement were accompanied by a croak of protest from the back of his throat.
“I can do all the work.” Phil insisted, shifting into a position where he was fully sitting up, his legs criss-crossed and his knees pressing into Dan’s side. He instantly missed the delicious pressure of Dan’s thigh pressing between his legs, but some sacrifices had to be made.
Dan’s eyebrows shot up, “Oh? Can you? Mr. Pillow Princess?” His voice went high and mocking.
“Yeah, I can.” Phil sassed back, slipping his fingertips beneath Dan’s waistband. He grazed his fingers through Dan’s pubes (Yep, feels just like his armpit hair, he thought) and wrapped his hand around the base of his cock.
“Does my Danny want a little handy~?” Phil playfully sang, wiggling around Dan’s penis in his loose shorts.
“Oh, fuck off.” Dan grunted. His arms twitched and Phil knew that if he wasn’t so sore, he would have been slapping Phil’s hands away for that move.
Phil pouted, sticking out his lower lip, “Not a very nice way to talk to someone who’s about to jerk you off…” He scolded, twisting his dry hand around Dan’s cock. A broken moan tumbled from Dan’s perpetually chapped lips, his eyebrows scrunched up in pain/pleasure. Phil sucked his lip into his mouth, biting down his thrill at Dan’s reactions.
“Phil.” Dan gasped out, his voice was strained. “Some lube would be nice.” He suggested through gritted teeth.
“Aww, it would, wouldn’t it?” Phil cooed in reply. He ran his hand up and down Dan’s length a few times, so dry it threatened to chafe if he kept at it for too long. Dan was squirming uncomfortably under him, but his arms remained locked in the position Phil left them in. One of them was still splayed out and clutching his towel and the other was resting on the bed above his head. He looked so pathetic that Phil felt compelled to show him some mercy.
“Let’s get you out of these.” He announced, taking his hand out of Dan’s shorts. He hopped off the bed, dipped his fingers under the waistband, and unceremoniously tugged down both the shorts and his underwear. They came off surprisingly easy, perhaps the only time Phil felt grateful for Dan’s flat little ass was when he was undressing him.
Dan’s erection slapped back against his stomach, flushed red like he had been hard for hours. He probably had been. Phil wondered if he should be concerned about Dan getting kicked out of their gym for getting a boner while working out. He bet a lot of the gym bros there were freaks like that, though. Hmm, maybe Phil should accompany Dan to the gym more often…
He shooed away the distracting thoughts, there were more pressing matters at hand. Namely Dan’s poor neglected cock leaking precome all over his gym tank top. Phil sat back down on the end of the bed and cheekily held out his hand under Dan’s chin, “Be a good boy and spit for me.”
Dan winced as he finally lifted his head off the bed, tipping his chin down to look right at Phil’s grinning face. “I think I’m dehydrated.” He deadpanned, finally showing an ounce of defiance. Phil knew it was all for show, of course.
“Come on, you don’t want a dry handy, do you?” Phil wiggled his fingers, his hand waiting expectantly for Dan’s spit. They shared a tense moment of eye contact, both waiting to see who would back down first. Playful dominance was like a game for them and they usually ended up switching back and forth based on the vibes. Finally, with a prolonged reluctant glare, Dan let a weak dribble of spit drip out of his mouth. It ran down his chin and gathered into a sad little puddle on Phil’s palm.
“Good boy…” Phil sweetly murmured, graciously using the side of his hand to wipe the spit trail off Dan’s face. “Even though you’re a messy pup.”
Dan was still holding his head up, ragged breaths escaping his parted lips as he looked at Phil through hooded eyes. He was waiting obediently for his next order, Phil realized with a rush of delight.
“Just lay back and let me take care of you, Danny boy~” Phil coyly directed, using his dry hand to brush Dan’s damp curls off his forehead and guide his head back down onto the bed. Dan’s body visibly relaxed, like he had needed Phil’s permission to release the tension he was holding and melt into the sheets. Phil wrapped his spit-slick hand around the head of Dan’s cock, eager to give his good boy the orgasm he deserved for all his hard work.
Dan gasped as Phil spread his spit down the length of his cock, mixing it with the precome weeping from Dan’s tip until his dick was glistening wet. His quivering thighs still had beads of sweat clinging to them, Phil noticed. He bet Dan’s musk was even more potent down there… Phil bit down on his lip, Dan’s sweaty balls were calling to him. He wanted them in his mouth.
He was at an awkward angle, sat at the edge of the bed, and his strokes had quickly gone lazy as soon as he got distracted. Dan was squirming again, huffing out stiff unsatisfied breaths, his head tilted back so Phil couldn’t see his face. Phil removed his hand completely and Dan whined, but he didn’t protest. He was too tired, mentally and physically, to do anything but follow Phil’s every whim.
Carefully, Phil slid off the mattress, walking on his knees to position himself right in between Dan’s spread legs. Dan wordlessly shuffled his feet further apart to make room for him without so much as glancing at him. Phil couldn’t spare a second to think about how much he was going to regret being in this position for too long because his senses were overwhelmed, he was reaching after-gym Dan nirvana. It made sense that he was on his knees, he was preparing for worship.
He stuck his nose right into the crease between Dan’s thigh and crotch and inhaled the fragrant sweaty stench. He rested his arms on top of Dan’s thighs, punching another painful groan out of the man above him. He stuck one hand up Dan’s black tank top and wrapped the other around his cock. He resumed his strokes, now in a much better position to actually make Dan feel good, while also lapping up the warm sweat that gathered underneath Dan’s heavy balls.
“Jesus, Phil…” Dan murmured, rendered a bit speechless at Phil’s level of enthusiasm.
He sucked one of Dan’s balls into his mouth, going a little dizzy with the intoxicating scent of sweaty musk. His hand aimlessly rubbed up Dan’s torso, his fingers dancing up the subtle bumps of abs threatening to form if Dan kept up the hard work. His other hand gave Dan’s dick a stroke every once in a while, when he remembered what he was supposed to be doing.
Once Phil’s nose and tongue had been pressed up against every crevasse of Dan’s crotch, he started to feel a little bad for his subpar commitment to the handjob. He managed to pull his face out of Dan’s groin and gave his dick a little wiggle to get his attention, “Shall I give you a blowie?”
“Well I’m obviously not gonna say no.” Dan lifted his head to answer, rather blandly, almost like he was bored.
Phil tutted in disappointment, “That’s not very good boy of you.”
“You’re the one that wants to get all up in my sweaty crotch, pervert!” Dan laughed at the absurdity of the situation, then winced in pain. He pointed a finger at Phil without actually lifting his arm from the bed. “Don’t act like you’re doing it for me!”
The lighthearted accusation jabbed at Phil in a way he hadn’t expected, hitting a little too close to home. He genuinely floundered for a moment, unsure how to respond and if he should make a joke or not. “Sorry…” He ended up sheepishly apologizing, “This was supposed to be about you.”
Dan sighed, exasperated, but softened his tone to match the energy of Phil’s response, “Don’t be a silly Philly. It was always about you.” He slowly moved his stiff arm, finally abandoning the towel he had been uselessly gripping and rubbing his thumb over Phil’s cheek. “You do realize I like making you happy too, right?”
“You like me.” Phil teased, turning to press a clumsy kiss on the pad of Dan’s thumb. Instead of responding, Dan pushed his thumb past Phil’s lips, both of them were a little shocked when Phil accepted the intrusion rather smoothly. His eyes naturally fell shut as he swirled his tongue around Dan’s thumb. He sucked down further, until his chin was pressing against the palm of Dan’s hand, and made heavy eye contact as he slowly slid off, ending it with another kiss.
“Okay, you can blow me now.” Dan quickly announced.
Phil smirked, bringing Dan’s dick to his lips and sweetly kissing the tip. He peppered kisses down the entire length and then back up to the tip again.
“Ugh, get on with it.” Dan groaned, throwing his head back onto the bed.
“Oh, so you want me to suck your dick now?” Phil asked mischeviously, trying to hold back his laughter.
“I always want you to suck my dick!” Dan exclaimed back, a whine just barely sneaking into his voice. Phil supposed he’d teased him enough.
Taking Dan’s cock into his mouth was almost second nature at this point. Actually, he wondered how many times he had sucked Dan’s dick in the past 16 years. There was no way of knowing for sure but he could probably come up with an estimate, if he felt like doing math at some point. So, yeah, that was never gonna happen.
His dick tasted like sweat, precome, and Dan’s stale spit from earlier, and yes, Phil knew what Dan’s spit tasted like. He felt Dan’s hips quiver underneath his arm, like he wanted to fuck up into Phil’s mouth but he held himself back. Perhaps he was a good boy after all. That or his hips were sore from whatever full-body workout his trainer had him doing. Phil missed the feeling of Dan’s hands tangled in his hair that usually accompanied a blowjob, instead Dan’s arms were motionless on the bed where he had left them last.
The noises Dan was making were delicious though, shy little half-whimpers and sighed out curse words. Dan had been worked up for hours, sometimes the anticipation before he even headed to the gym got him hard. It wasn’t going to take very long to get him off. He could tell Dan was already getting close by how restless he was, shifting against the sheets while simultaneously trying to move as little as possible to avoid upsetting his aching body.
“I want you to come in my mouth.” Phil mumbled, barely taking the time to remove Dan’s cock fully from his mouth before speaking. His eyes fluttered shut as he sank back down, satisfied by the heavy feeling of a dick on his tongue. He wanted to feel the hot spurts of jizz hitting the back of his throat, fuck. It was honestly one of his top 10 feelings in the world. Definitely S-tier on the feelings tier list.
“Ph-Phil…” Dan grunted, whining as he reluctantly lifted his arm just enough to place his shaking hand on Phil’s shoulder. He weakly tried to push Phil off, but his sore muscles were no use. “Don’t. I’m actually gonna—”
Dan’s cock pulsated against his tongue, the sensation was intense and overwhelming and Phil fucking loved it. Short uncontrollable bursts of the hot and thick fluid quickly filling up Phil’s mouth and threatening to slide down his throat. It felt frantic, animalistic, primal. He loved feeling like Dan was marking his claim on him.
Then… the taste hit him. Phil always forgot about the taste. Ugh. He made a disgusted noise, letting Dan’s softening cock slip out of his mouth. He kept his lips tightly shut, reluctantly holding that bitter salty taste in his mouth despite his noises of protest. He looked around the room, fighting through the haze of lust that clouded his brain, he just needed to find somewhere to spit it out.
“No no no, you wanted it!” Dan was laughing at him, cruelly. He tightened his grip on Phil’s shoulder as much as he could to keep him exactly where he was. “Down it, fresher!” He cried out.
Phil obviously could have overpowered him, Dan could barely move for god’s sake, all he had to do was stand up and walk to the en-suite bathroom a couple feet away. But then the guilty thought of the extremely mid handjob he had given Dan plagued his mind, so he swallowed. A shudder erupted throughout Phil’s entire body in response, and he could somehow feel it settling heavily in his stomach.
“Why do you always do this to yourself?” Dan asked, trying to sound disappointed but instead he just sounded fond. “You know you don’t like the taste.”
“Ugh, I like how it feels though.” Phil pouted, resting his cheek on Dan’s thigh. “Maybe you just need to eat more pineapple. We should get you on a pineapple only diet.”
“I’m pretty sure that whole pineapple thing is just a myth.” Dan claimed, reaching up slightly to pet Phil’s hair. The sweet gesture after being kind of ignored all night made Phil preen.
“No it’s not.” Phil quickly retorted, brimming with false confidence.
“It can’t be true!”
“It’s definitely true.” Phil continued with a grin, absentmindedly drawing shapes on Dan’s stomach with his fingertip. “They did like, research and stuff.”
Dan scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Research.”
“Yeah, experiments. Peer-reviewed and everything.” Phil lied, “I read about it.”
“You’ll have to link me to the study.” Dan affectionately conceded, not believing a word Phil said.
Sometimes Dan was really horny in the morning. It wasn’t every morning, honestly it really didn’t happen that often, but when it did, it was all-encompassing. He had woken up rock hard and leaking pathetically into his pajama pants, pressing his hips down into the mattress below him. He couldn’t even remember the debauchery his subconscious must have been cooking up in his dreams to get him to this state.
With a frustrated grunt, Dan flipped over to face Phil’s side of the bed. The other man was still asleep, unsurprising as Dan almost always woke up first. Acting purely on caveman instinct, he reached out for Phil, pulling their bodies closer together. Phil was so pliant and trusting, curling into Dan’s touch without even really waking up.
Dan tucked himself into Phil’s arms, nuzzling his nose into the other man’s neck and placing wet kisses along the way. He slotted their legs together and pressed his erection against Phil’s thigh.
“Fuuuck…” Dan whined, rolling his hips sloppily. He shamelessly chased his own pleasure like a dog humping a throw pillow.
“Mmm, Dan…” Phil mumbled like he was finally waking up. He pushed Dan’s shoulder, stopping him from licking his neck. “No hickeys. Filming tomorrow.”
“Are you awake?” Dan asked, wrapping his arms tighter around Phil’s torso. When he looked up at his face, Phil still had his eyes closed.
“No.”
“Phillll~” Dan whined in a way that was so pathetic, he’d be deeply embarrassed if anyone other than Phil heard him. Luckily, Phil didn’t count as a person. He went back to licking the other man’s neck, placing his lips right where he could feel Phil’s racing pulse. He could feel Phil starting to get hard against his own thigh, all according to his evil plan.
“You don’t want to mess around with me?” Dan asked, his voice cracking from either disuse or desperation. Or both.
“Mess around?” Phil scoffed, sounding suspiciously awake for someone who claimed to still be asleep. “What are we, 16?”
One of Dan’s hands slid down Phil’s back, grabbing a handful of ass cheek and pulling Phil closer into his orbit. Phil let out his own whine as his dick dragged against Dan’s thigh and pushed into Dan’s hipbone. He sighed in defeat, finally opening his eyes and reaching for Dan’s face to pull him into a dirty kiss.
Dan wanted to climb inside Phil’s mouth and make a home for himself amongst Phil’s internal organs. Unfortunately that was physically impossible, so he would have to settle for just kissing him. He kept his hand on Phil’s ass, trying to pull him closer and closer, like he would never be satisfied until they fused together into one being.
“Dan.” Phil could barely pull his lips away enough to get one word out. He pressed a firm hand into the center of Dan’s chest, “Lemme piss first?”
“No.” Dan replied, leaning back in to capture his lips again despite the resisting pressure on his chest. Phil lessened the tension, but kept his hand there, graciously allowing Dan to kiss him for a little while longer. He was so altruistic.
“Dan, seriously,” Phil tried again a few minutes later. “Just let me go piss and then we can mess around.” He said, mocking Dan’s use of the phrase from earlier. He attempted to untangle his legs from Dan’s, but Dan tensed up, locking his thighs into place. He also steeled his grip on Phil’s waist and ass. It wasn’t often that he used his superior strength to overpower Phil, but it set his nerve endings aflame whenever he did.
“What if I don’t let you?” Dan asked breathlessly.
Phil looked down at him, stunned and confused. He laughed hesitantly, “Dan, what the hell?”
With a grunt, Dan gripped Phil’s hips on either side and hoisted his body on top of his own. Phil yelped from the manhandling, adjusting to the new position by leaning on his knees and straddling Dan’s thighs. Dan looked up at him, waiting to see how Phil would navigate the situation he’d put him in.
Phil decided to grab Dan’s face in his hands and tilt his head up so they could kiss some more. Dan sighed through his nose, he was still so hard it was painful. Through the thin layer of their pajama pants, he could feel that Phil had been flagging, apparently distracted by his need to pee.
“How badly do you have to go?” Now Dan was the one to pause their kiss, looking up inquisitively at the man on top of him.
Phil grimaced, “I didn’t go last night before bed.” He explained, “And I had so much Ribena at dinner…” He gently placed a soothing hand on his lower stomach.
Dan hummed, remembering how he had gotten up to refill Phil’s glass at least four times. Talking about it seemed to be making it worse, his ability to ignore the situation was waning. Phil was shifting uncomfortably on Dan’s lap, trying to find a position that put less pressure on his bladder.
“I’ve kind of had to go for a while but I was too lazy to wake up.” Phil continued when Dan didn’t say anything. He pouted as he rubbed his tummy, like acting cute would convince Dan to let him go. He mentally scoffed at the notion, that only made him want to mess with Phil more.
Dan mockingly cooed and placed his own hand on top of Phil’s, he was a bit shocked to find that his lower stomach actually did feel a bit swollen. He bit his lip, cheekily looking up at Phil through his lashes, and pressed down on Phil’s hand.
“Dan!” Phil squeaked from the increase of pressure against his bladder, “Don’t!” His hands flew to grab both of Dan’s shoulders, both in an attempt to ground himself and to stop Dan from doing… whatever he was planning.
“Don’t what?” Dan asked, feigning innocence. He lightly rubbed his hand over Phil’s bladder, as if he had never pressed down any harder. Phil’s cheeks were flushed red and his eyes were wide open and shaking, he couldn’t sit still in Dan’s lap for more than a few seconds. It was a little humiliating how hard Dan was, it had somehow gotten even worse. He wasn’t expecting to discover something about himself this morning.
“Can I go now then?” Phil asked again, an air of desperation was sneaking into his voice, but he was still trying to keep it casual. A delicious rush of power coursed through Dan’s veins. He wasn’t even holding Phil down anymore and yet he was still waiting patiently for Dan’s permission.
“No.” Dan answered with a wicked grin. He slid both hands up Phil’s back, pressing down on his shoulder blades until Phil leaned down to kiss Dan once more. He refused to meet him in the middle, forcing Phil into a position that squished down on his bladder.
Phil was fidgeting nonstop in his lap, Dan realized with a thrill zipping up his spine. He had to go so bad but he was listening to Dan instead. Fuck, that was hot. Phil’s constant shifting was creating a delicious friction against Dan’s aching cock.
Dan dug his short nails into the loose fabric of Phil’s shirt, dragging them down the length of his back. He pictured bright red scratch marks blooming on Phil’s easily-marked pale skin. Evidence that Dan had been there and that Phil belonged to him. He shuddered, huffing out staccato breaths against Phil’s lips.
Suddenly, Phil pulled back with a startled gasp, resting his forehead against Dan’s. “Dan.” He said, almost out of breath, “I seriously almost just pissed.” Dan’s cock violently twitched at the confession, and both of them felt it.
“I want you to.” Dan boldly stated. Imagining visions of Phil completely losing control on his lap, whining and clutching Dan like a lifeline as he succumbed to the unavoidable nature of his body’s will. Phil hated being bossed around and yet he was allowing Dan to exercise this power over him… Fuck.
“Dan!” Phil gasped, properly scandalized. “I— We— The bed!” He stuttered out, his face growing red and hot with shame. “We can’t. We can’t get pee all over the bed.”
“You’re peeing on me, not on the bed.” Dan’s voice softened, pitched higher like he was trying to ease Phil’s anxiety about a weird social interaction instead of convincing him to wee himself.
“Dan.” Phil admonished, clearly on the edge of becoming actually annoyed. Dan had to reign it in. “It’s not— It would get on the bed too! It’s like, a lot of pee.” He was gesticulating wildly at their bed, like he would soak the entire mattress in pee.
“Sorry for underestimating your pee storage.” Dan quipped, squeezing Phil’s thigh comfortingly. He reached up to run his hand down the length of Phil’s arm, grabbing his hand at the end. He brought Phil’s hand to his face, pressing apology kisses to his individual fingertips. “You always complain about having a small bladder.”
“That’s just an expression!” Phil was grinning again, but as soon as he realized, he forced his face back into a firm scowl.
Despite his hardened expression, Phil’s hand was lax in Dan’s grip. He slowly sucked two of Phil’s fingers into his mouth, letting his fingertips graze the back of his tongue as he looked directly into Phil’s eyes. Dan could see his will to fight declining by the second. He gradually pulled Phil’s fingers out, pausing to suckle at the tip for a moment before releasing them fully.
“I really want you to piss on me though.” Dan found himself surprisingly shy to admit that, causing Phil’s expression to soften even more.
“I… I don’t care what you want.” Phil protested weakly.
“Mmm, you haven’t gotten up yet though.” Dan pointed out, nodding towards where Phil was still sat very firmly in his lap.
“You’re holding me down.”
Dan raised his hands, releasing his grip on Phil’s thigh and letting Phil’s hand with two wet fingers fall limp against Dan’s chest. “You’re free to go.”
Phil didn’t move. Dan searched his face for every microexpression he had learned over the past years. Phil looked nervous and unsure, but his pupils were blown and his mouth was hanging open. He was still turned on.
“Dan wha… Why are you doing this?” Phil finally asked after a tense moment of silence. “I didn’t know this was something you…” He let his sentence trail off, but Dan knew exactly what he meant.
“I didn’t either until just now really.” Dan explained, he grabbed Phil’s hand again, positioning it so it was cupping Dan’s cheek. “Seeing you all squirmy in my lap… It’s like edging without all the work.” He sunk his teeth down into his bottom lip, feeling his cock pulse underneath Phil’s weight as he thought about it. Phil continued to look extremely dubious about the whole thing.
“Well, don’t pretend you haven’t thought about it. I’ve seen your TikTok likes.” Dan scoffed, a familiar bit of edge returning to his voice, replacing the soothing tone. He was having trouble believing Phil of all people didn’t want to explore a little piss play. “We’re Mr. and Mr. Piss, our fans have made entire frickin’ compilation videos of us talking about piss.”
All Phil could muster up in response was, “Don’t talk about our fans in bed.” Which was an extremely fair request. Dan apologized before letting the room fall silent, forcing Phil to be alone with his thoughts for a moment. He rubbed his cheek against Phil’s hand, waiting patiently for his response.
“I just don’t know if I can commit to the bit enough to actually do it.” Phil finally, reluctantly admitted.
“Will you try… for me?” Dan finally asked, turning his head to press a kiss to the center of Phil’s palm. “If you don’t want to, just get up and go now and I’ll just finish myself off.”
Phil sighed harshly, “Well, I don’t want you to do that.” He asserted, petulant like a child who was realizing he wasn’t going to get what he wanted. He took a deep breath, like he was preparing himself for what he was about to agree to. Dan’s heart raced, his hands eagerly squeezing Phil’s hips with anticipation. God, Phil made him feel almost feral.
“I don’t even know if I can actually do it. I think I’m too pee-shy…” Phil nervously joked, searching Dan’s face for any shred of leniency. He desperately wanted an easy way out, but they were in it now. In between Dan’s haze of lust and power, an inkling of guilt threatened to leak through. He knew Phil could get up at any moment, or say their safe word, and he trusted that he would if he needed to.
Instead, Phil leaned down to kiss him again, gasping almost immediately into Dan’s mouth at the renewed pressure on his bladder. “Fuck.” He whispered, his hips shifting almost violently as he continued to try to fight his body’s natural urge. He squeezed his eyes shut firmly, resting his forehead down on Dan’s collarbone.
“Let me look at you.” Dan demanded, “Please.” He tacked on quickly. He rubbed his hands across Phil’s lower back, ever so slightly pressing him in closer. Phil slowly, hesitantly lifted his head, so Dan could see how his entire face was scrunched up with desperation and humiliation.
“O-Oh shit, Dan.” Phil gasped, and his whole body jolted. Moments later, Dan felt it, a warm sensation spreading across his crotch. He was actually fucking doing it. “Oh fuck.” Phil shut his eyes tightly, and tears started leaking down his cheeks.
Dan moaned, sloppily capturing Phil’s lips against his own once more. He could feel short reluctant bursts of piss shooting out of Phil’s dick and directly onto Dan’s aching erection. Their pajama pants were growing damp with the hot stream of piss, the fabric darkening between them.
“Dan, fuck, I’m sorry.” Phil pulled back far too quickly, properly shoving Dan away by his shoulders. “I’m so sorry, I can’t. T-the bed. I—”
“Phil, it’s okay.” Dan rushed to reassure him, fighting against the clouded haze of his horniness. Phil’s eyes were red and he had tears streaking down his cheeks, Dan wanted to pull him into a comforting hug but he knew Phil needed some space more than anything at the moment. “It’s okay, yeah? Go to the bathroom.”
Phil nodded quickly, climbing off of Dan on shaky legs. Dan stayed in his spot on the bed, looking down at the wet stain against his crotch. It wasn’t actually as big as it had felt, and they hadn’t gotten anything on the bed yet, thankfully. Realistically though, Phil was right, it definitely would have created a huge mess if he actually emptied his bladder on top of Dan.
“Dan?” Phil asked tentatively, hesitating next to the bed instead of immediately running to the bathroom like Dan had expected. “Will you… come with me?”
“Oh.” Dan mumbled, looking up shocked to see Phil holding out his hand. He was urgently shifting back and forth on his feet, but he still waited for Dan to accompany him to the bathroom. He was still willing to indulge in this scene, wanting to see it out until the end.
Dan stumbled out of the bed, testing the fate of the blood pressure demon that lived in his body and loved to make him pass out. The pair of them bolted to the en-suite, shutting the door behind them as if they had someone to hide from. There wasn’t much time to cook up any kind of game plan, but Dan knew he had a responsibility to be in charge at the moment. He grabbed Phil by the hips and positioned him in front of the toilet, pulling down his pajama pants unceremoniously and letting them pool at his ankles. He grabbed Phil’s half-hard dick and aimed it at the bowl.
Phil moaned as he finally felt safe to actually release the contents of his bladder. He keeled over, the relief hitting him harder than either of them thought possible, uncontrollable erotic moans ripping out of his throat. Dan whined into Phil’s ear, pressing his cock against Phil’s ass cheek. It was hot feeling Phil’s cock jerk in his hand, just like when he was coming. The smell of piss was pungent and seemed to fill the entire bathroom.
As the last drops of pee leaked out of Phil’s spent cock, Dan started stroking him. He held Phil’s waist tightly with his other arm, keeping their bodies pressed close together and not letting the other man move. Phil’s dick had gone flaccid, but now it filled out under Dan’s touch, so swiftly it almost made him dizzy with power.
Dan mouthed at Phil’s shoulder, biting and sucking at the freckled skin just to give his mouth something to do as he tugged Phil off. Unintelligible moans fell out of Phil’s mouth, his body limp and completely surrendered to Dan’s will. He braced his hands on the top of the toilet tank, he was not entirely willing to trust Dan not to let him fall over.
Dan breathed hot air against the back of Phil’s neck, for the second time this morning, he felt like a dog. Like he should be biting down on Phil’s scruff to hold him in place while he humped his ass. He repositioned his hips, sliding his still-clothed erection in between Phil’s cheeks. He wondered if he could come like this, then he wondered if his hipbones would leave bruises on Phil’s ass. All the while, his arm was moving furiously, relentlessly dedicated to bringing Phil off.
“Oh my god, Dan.” Phil choked, and his body jerked. There was a wet splash when his jizz hit the toilet, white streaks of viscous fluid mixing with the light yellow tinted liquid in the bowl. “Holy shit.” Phil fell limp in Dan’s arms, his body going completely boneless in the aftermath of his orgasm.
Dan quickly followed suit, further messing the front of his damp pajama pants with his release after feeling Phil’s body fall apart in his arms. He did that, fuck. No one else could make Phil feel like that. No one would ever even get to try. Dan would kill them first, rip their throat out with his teeth like a vicious guard dog. Everyone knew that Phil was his, he made sure of it.
He looked down at the expanse of Phil’s back before him, moles and freckles littered his skin like always, but evidence of Dan’s possession over him accompanied the natural markings. Red stripes from his nail scratches down the length of Phil’s back, red teeth marks on his shoulder and along the nape of his neck, red fingertip indentations on the plush skin of his hips and ass. Dan’s mouth watered at the thought of getting to see the red markings turn into purple, brown, yellow, and green bruises. He’d get to watch them slowly fade away before replenishing the collection. He couldn’t bear to leave Phil unmarked for too long.
“Dan,” Phil’s back shook as a breathy chuckle escaped his mouth, "That was crazy.” He mumbled, sounding utterly loopy. Hearing Phil sound so out of it made Dan fall back down to earth again, remembering he was the responsible one right now. He straightened his spine, gently rubbing his hands along Phil’s sides.
“Think you can make it back to the bed?” Dan asked, surprised to find his voice was hoarse. He may have been growling, or something, he wasn’t too sure. He coughed, trying to clear his throat.
“I dunno…” Phil muttered in response. Dan wrapped his arms around his torso, carefully pulling him up so he wasn’t hunched over the toilet anymore. Phil looked at the contents of the toilet bowl one last time, and erupted into giggles. “You made me pee.”
“I did, didn't I?” Dan said back with his own giggles. He fortified his grip on Phil with his one arm and used the other to press the flush button. His arm shook from holding nearly all of Phil’s body weight, so he shuffled over to the moldy-looking dyed green bath mat in front of their shower, and carefully lowered Phil down. It wasn’t exactly princess treatment, but it would have to do for now.
“That was so hot, Daniel.” Phil said, seeming to get his wits about him once he was pressed against the solid bathroom floor. He reached out his hands, clearly wanting to keep Dan as close as possible. Dan eagerly laid down next to him, Phil’s loyal dog, happily resting on cold hard tile while Phil got the whole fuzzy mat to lay on.
“Yeah?” Dan asked, looking up at Phil and unabashedly fishing for praise.
“You’re always so good to me.” Phil affirmed, petting the back of Dan’s head, fluffing up his sleep-flattened curls. Dan preened, his metaphorical tail wagging. “Seriously, you’ve gotta try it too. That was like having two orgasms back to back. It was crazy. Who knew peeing could feel so good?”
“I think a lot of people know that.” Dan huffed out a laugh with a fond roll of his eyes. “It’s kind of a thing.”
“We definitely need to look into some kind of waterproof mattress cover though.” Phil mused, completely ignoring Dan’s sass as he continued carding his fingers through his hair. “I don’t think I want to keep having sex in the bathroom.”
“Agreed.”