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The personal computer was not an innovation Shi-Long Lang would tout as one of humanity’s crowning achievements. Cold, unfeeling, ineffable, and insidiously packed with emails, it was a device whose usage he resented the mere thought of. This largely resulted in him delegating as much of its use to Shih-na as he could get away with.
Shih-na, the consummate professional and loyal secretary, did not mind this additional duty. The woman acting out Shih-na’s role also did not mind this, on account of how painfully funny it was that this effortlessly confident and self-assured man would walk sheepishly up to her and say something to the effect of ‘Shih-na, can you, uh… unzip? That file?’ with the pleading helplessness of a child who couldn’t tie their shoelaces. Where others might find his ineptitude a burden, Shih-na disagreed. Lang’s longstanding feud with technology was just one more thing to laugh and cackle and guffaw over until her lungs burned the moment she was alone in her sparse apartment. Another ridiculous detail in the rich tapestry of how fascinatingly stupid Shi-Long Lang was.
That was, until one of Lang’s many men had eagerly suggested that the wolf pack participate in a Game Night. And Shih-na soon learned that the man had not been referring to a good old-fashioned 100-person game of Monopoly. Oh, no. This man was a Gamer, and he wanted his beloved Shifu to join his fellow Gamer Wolves in a rousing round of Among Us.
Lang, overly caring fool that he was, had agreed to the proposition immediately, saying something about it raising pack morale. The moment his subordinate had beamed brightly and gone ‘thank you, Shifu!’ and ran out to deliver the good news, Lang then turned to Shih-na with a panic-stricken face.
“Shih-na, what the hell is an Among Us?”
“A video game, Lang.”
Panic gave him another good strike, his eyes shifting from side to side.
“I’ve never played a video game in my life, Shih-na. I don’t even know where you get them.”
What came next from Shih-na’s mouth was, for Shih-na, only the right thing to say. Her boss was faced with a challenge even he couldn’t surmount on his own, and it was her role to provide the support needed to get the job done. Behind the carefully constructed layers of this character, though, her author and actor could only curse herself for her refusal to break the charade. She had doomed herself utterly.
“That’s fine, Lang. I’ll help you get set up,” she had said. Plainly. Neutrally. Obediently. Classic Shih-na.
Shih-na shouldn’t have been such a goddamn plank of wood she could only lament to herself later.
What followed was several days of excruciating tutoring of a man for whom ‘windows’ were a beautiful source of light, and nothing more. Hilarious as Lang’s almost Amish revulsion towards computers was, it was a relatively simple task to suppress her mirth when his incompetence manifested in small, manageable doses that she could resolve by simply doing the task for him. Her primary duty becoming teaching him, slowly and carefully, how to operate a computer himself made things… challenging. Practically every hour of her work day was now occupied by Lang squinting dubiously at a screen and asking Shih-na why, exactly, the extremely cool image of a wolf howling at the moon he had selected as his wallpaper was so stretched and blurry. It was torture akin to drowning, every shoved-down laugh pooling in her lungs until she felt like she was going to burst.
To top it all off, Lang didn’t even own a computer at home, forcing Shih-na to take matters into her own hands and provide one for him. She did not attempt to claim this as an operation expense for her mission. The thought of sending a coded message through five different intermediaries just to inform Quercus Alba she needed a few hundred bucks to help her target play Among Us was not a pleasant one. Alba, infuriatingly sharp as he is, might actually know what Among Us is, for one thing, which would make the justification all the more painful.
At last, though, after patiently coaching Lang through each step from ‘just because it’s called Steam doesn’t mean the computer is steam-powered,’ to ‘no, it won’t steal your identity when you put your credit card information in,’ there was but one final step before he was ready to enter the World of Gaming.
“So… what’s this Among Us thing about, anyway?” Lang said, swivelling his study’s chair round to face Shih-na. She had opted to also play in the study, an uncharacteristically austere room decorated mainly with wall scrolls espousing yet more of Lang Zi’s wisdom, sitting politely in the corner with a laptop perched on her legs.
“It’s a social deduction game, Lang,” she said, making Lang smirk.
“Deduction, huh? I like the sound of that. What’s the crime?”
“We all take the role of astronauts aboard a spaceship who are trying to repair it. However, some of us are actually imposters attempting to sabotage the ship and kill the crew. The goal of the crew is to uncover every imposter before they are all murdered.”
Lang gawked at this foul notion.
“You mean not only are my men gonna pretend to be a bunch of criminals, but I’ve gotta suspect them? Accuse them of murder? And they wanted me to play this!?”
Oh, Lang. So pure. So very, very stupid. Shih-na wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or sigh and sink into her chair. Right now, she couldn’t do either.
“It’s a very popular game, Lang. It’s no surprise they wanted you to play it with them.”
“But still-“
“Think of it as a way of keeping your instincts sharp. A true wolf will pursue any lead, even if the scent leads him back to one of his own, surely?”
A risky sentiment for her to express, perhaps, but she knew that no matter how much he took those words to heart, there would always be one critical, utterly foolish exception. One final barricade within his heart he would refuse to break down.
Lang closed his eyes, his brow furrowing as he emitted a low, contemplative growl. Eventually, he nodded.
“Yeah… you’re right, Shih-na. Lang Zi said the same thing. Detainment philosophy demands I don’t play favourites. Alright, I’ll do it. I’ll be Among Us.”
“I’m sure your men will appreciate it,” Shih-na said.
This statement was quickly proven correct by the joyous chorus of men shouting ‘Shifu!’ the moment Lang’s little yellow spaceman spawned in the Official Gamer Wolf Lobby.
“Good evening, men! Line up and role call!”Lang declared, leaning forward in his chair and putting his mouth just a little too close to his laptop’s built-in microphone. Safe in the knowledge she was unobserved for the moment, Shih-na indulged in slapping a hand to her mouth to better repress the immediate urge to snort. So stupid. So stupid. So stupid. God knows how muffled his voice sounded to the rest of his pack.
Muffled or not, his men responded dutifully, each and every little Among Us avatar arranging themselves into a series of neat lines and declaring, one by one, “One!”
“Good work, men. Now, before we start… you. The green guy third from the left.”
“Yes, Shifu?!” said the designated astronaut.
“Shih-na tells me your cousin’s husband’s sister has been… streaming? This game a lot lately.”
“Y-yes, Shifu, she has. I think.”
“Expect a little extra in your monthly pay. Toss her a, uh… superb chat-“
“Superchat,” Shih-na corrected.
“Superchat from me,” Lang concluded, barely missing a beat.
Gasping in astonishment, the little green man said “Thank you, Shifu!” amid a new wave of cheers for the men’s beloved leader.
“Alright, alright, settle down. Now, Shih-na gave me the rundown on this game, and as Interpol investigators, it sounds right up our alley. Solving murders, weeding out saboteurs? That’s what we do best. So, I want you all to treat this with the same care and vigilance you would give a real case, got it?”
“Got it, Shifu!” the pack howled dutifully.
“Great. Everyone to my left, you’re taking port. On my right, you take starboard. Don’t let those imposters get away with it, men!”
Throughout all of this, Shih-na’s Among Uswoman had reflected her in real life, stood quietly behind Lang and observing him, interjecting only when necessary, largely overlooked by the rest of his men. And wondering what in God’s name his problem was, a question she had wrestled with for several long years now. They were playing a silly video game about astronauts committing cartoon violence on each other, and Lang was taking it all so deadly seriously, acting like they were on the cusp of cracking the case of the decade.
And his men were just eating it up! Nobody was even questioning why their boss seemed to believe his first ever video game involved solving a real life murder. She might not be able to see any of their faces, but she was sure they all looked about the same as they normally would in-person. A bunch of seasoned investigators, many of them far older than Lang, gazing up at him in slack-jawed awe, the sparkle of wonder in their eyes hidden behind their sunglasses. It was totally absurd.
Well, okay, she supposed she could see why. To an extent. Ridiculous and loud and prone to far more growling than any workplace other than a dog kennel should have as Lang might be, she couldn’t deny that he had a knack for inspiring those around him.
Even here, in his very first video game, sliding his mouse around with a certain trepidation like he was convinced it would squeak and come to life, his natural charisma shone through. He still found the time to dip into the deep well of kindness and consideration he had for every one of his subordinates. There was, she supposed, something to be admired about his leadership. About a man who could encourage and care for those who followed him. Experiencing that firsthand was certainly a welcome change from-
Shih-na shook her head, scowling. Whatever. None of that mattered. Focusing on the mission was more important. And right now, that entailed playing video games. Her hands tightly gripped the edges of her laptop. It was time to game.
Her screen faded to black, only to fade back in to display both her and one other member of the pack. Emblazoned above them was a word that was all too familiar to her.
Imposter.
Of course. Of course she was. Well, that made things easier for her. Whoever her collaborator was, it didn’t matter. She worked better alone, anyway.
As the match began, and as Lang’s men dispersed to their designated wings of the ship, the man himself remained still.
“Shih-na. Stick close to me. Those imposter guys can only kill one person at a time, right? If worst comes to worse… I’ll take the hit for you,” he said, his tone utterly sincere. He’d even gone to the trouble of giving her a solemn look in real life, as if they were under heavy gunfire and he was about to create a distraction so she could make her escape.
“Understood,” she replied, following close behind him. Even as he immediately steered his avatar into a wall and proceeded to frown at the confounding nature of the classic WASD control scheme.
Once he had a somewhat better handle on the controls, their characters then wandered aimlessly around the ship, the rhythmic clomping of boots against metal ringing out from two sets of tinny speakers. All the while, Shih-na could only marvel at how astonishingly simple he had made things for her. At how astonishingly simple he was.
Without uttering a single word, Lang had placed automatic, implicit trust in her, as if the game would be kind enough to exempt her from ever being the traitor. She knew this wasn’t some cunning bluff on his part, either- a furtive glance at his screen had revealed he was a simple crewmate. Not that he had the wits to orchestrate that kind of ruse, even in a game, anyway.
Even the fact that she’d been able to watch his screen made his naivety all too apparent. The notion that she could cheat- that she would cheat the moment the opportunity presented itself- had no doubt never crossed his mind. Not loyal, professional, honourable Shih-na. Never Shih-na.
It was all far too easy. It was all far too familiar.
Some dormant thing far in the back of her mind writhed uncomfortably at that thought, like a slumbering beast jabbed with a spear. She paid it no heed.
It was only a few more minutes until Lang made the mistake she had been counting on. His exploration of the unfamiliar map had led him to a dark, isolated corner- his task, no doubt, to fix the electrical wiring.
“One second, Shih-na. This is one of those task thingies, right?” he said, leaning to the side to better show her his screen- and immediately confirming her assumption.
“Yes, Lang. Completing those will allow us to secure a victory, even if the imposters remain at large.”
He frowned, humming to himself.
“Letting a criminal go is hardly my style… but I guess I better make sure all our bases are covered.”
“That would seem the most prudent course of action, yes.”
“Alright, let me just take care of this, then.”
Her opportunity had arrived, precisely as she anticipated. Lang’s back turned, his mind occupied, his men far, far away, their cries of ‘nothing to report, Shifu!’ having long faded into distant echoes. It would be the work of an instant to kill him and make her escape. Just one click, and the deed would be done.
And yet, as Lang stood obliviously, mumbling to himself about how finicky using these damn mice were, and how if computers were instead operated by some kind of wolf they’d be much more reliable, she found herself hesitating. Her finger hovered just above the key, wavering on that razor-thin line between Lang’s life and his gruesome cartoon death. And it just wouldn’t close that miniscule distance.
Why. Why. Why? Why was she hesitating? Hesitation had never stood in the way of a mission before, not once- and those missions, she reminded herself, were not to play a video game whose core mechanic was ‘being good at lying.’ So why?
Then, another question entered her mind.
Was this really all she was? A perennial liar? An eternal traitor, destined from the outset to destroy every shred of trust she convinced her victims to build up, as though she were taking a sledgehammer to a beautiful glass sculpture built in her honour? Could she not even indulge in something as frivolous as this without deceiving, without killing those who believed her a stalwart companion? Was every day of her life merely another game of Among Us, committing an act of merciless violence before venting away into a new identity?
For as loudly, proudly stupid as Shi-Long Lang was, wasn’t she something so much worse? Was she not little more than a sussy baka?
Revulsion crashed into her like it was a spaceship sabotaged by some manner of imposter whose vandalization had not been repaired by its crewmates within approximately sixty seconds.
Lang trusted her with his life, both real and virtual. The thought that she would ever hurt him was utterly alien to him. And of course it was. She had made sure of that. Always acted the role of Shih-na perfectly, always presented herself as infallible and ever-loyal. All so he would never, ever see her betrayal, as certain as if it were prophecised, coming.
Perhaps, then, she should let his Among Usman live. Maintain the trust that little bit more. Kill him here, and the seed of doubt that she wasn’t all that she seemed might just be planted, and it would take only the slightest mistake, even a minor flub in the grand performance that was Shih-na, for that seed to sprout. In that sense, it was more practical to throw the match.
Or do you just not want to kill him?
The taunting words had barely formed in her mind before she had slammed a finger down upon the key, a flurry of shut up, shut up, shut UP screaming back at them. She had been through all this a dozen times before. It would end the same way as every other. With a knife in Lang’s back, and ‘Shih-na’ left discarded by his corpse, the costume for a part she would never play again. She would prove that, here and now.
Her Among Us avatar proceeded to unhinge itself into a massive, open jaw, snarling and lined with jagged teeth, before biting the entire top half of Lang’s body off in one feral motion.
Shih-na considered this. Whatever she did to Lang when the time actually came, it probably wouldn’t be this. Even if she at times felt an inexplicable urge to bite him.
Lang let out the strangled whine of a kicked puppy before rounding on Shih-na, eyes ablaze with outrage.
“Shih-na! You’re the imposter?! And you didn’t even tell me!?”
She must have been losing her grip. Perhaps days on end of being in close proximity to Lang at his most pathetically hilarious had simply worn down her resolve. But fighting back the incredulous giggle she so desperately wanted to respond to that with felt like the kind of desperate battle they made tapestries out of. One she was barely able to eke out a victory in.
“It… it would defeat the purpose of the game if I were to tell you that, Lang.”
A stutter. Not good. Shih-na didn’t stutter. In any other circumstance, she was sure the surprise on Lang’s face would be apparent. The carefully cultivated obsession with her she had engendered in him ensured that, normally, there was no way he’d miss a shift in her like that. Likewise, there was no way she’d miss his reaction. His heart was worn on his sleeve as boldly and blatantly as the golden dragons that snaked up and down his arms. Luckily, the sheer emotional turmoil of the situation must have blinded him to that subtle slip, and he simply growled to himself instead.
“I guess you’re right,” he said, huffing. “But still! I can’t believe it was you, Shih-na! You, of all people!”
“Indeed. It was quite the shock for me, too, to have to play such a sinister role.”
“I’ll bet! If it was me, there’s no way I could pull it off. You did pretty damn well there, actually. You weren’t sussy at all!” Lang declared with… not exactly a straight face, but a grin far too earnest for the sentence he had just let loose.
Would laughing now be okay? Maybe she could play it off as Lang finally knocking one single brick out of the impenetrable wall of professionalism Shih-na hid behind, and he he wouldn’t find it incongruous. No, he said that like he didn’t even know it was a joke. She couldn’t laugh. Not yet. Instead, she swallowed the painful, mirthful lump in her throat.
“I suppose I must have something of a talent for remaining… sussy undetected,” she said instead, praying he didn’t notice the slight tremble of her lips as ‘sussy’ slid past them.
“Looks like it. Who knew?” Lang said with carefree obliviousness. “My men are gonna have their work cut out for them tracking you down, Shih-na!”
At this, Lang tilted his head back and let loose a loud, hearty chuckle that Shih-na could only quietly resent him for.
Well. That wasn’t quite accurate. Try as she might, something else was there. A whole host of writhing emotions she dared not put a name to, slithering past all her attempts to push them back down, their tendrils tainting her next words with but a trace of melancholy.
“Yes. They will.”
When the time came, there wouldn’t even be a Shih-na to track down. By the time Lang’s corpse was found, she would have already vented far, far away, a new disguise coating the face of a woman who could never be anything more than an imposter. Her destiny that of the forever sussy.
She frowned as she looked down at her laptop screen, and at her Among Uswoman’s hiding place in a nearby vent. She had to avoid these sessions from now on, before her vocabulary transformed wholly into that of the most sinister identity she could embody- The Gamer.