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r/AmITheAsshole
u/dadusathrowaway • 10h
AITA for telling another dad from my kid's class the truth when he asked if I was avoiding him?
This is a throwaway, I don't use reddit but my ex-wife told me posting here would help us settle this debate.
For some context: I (30M) share custody of my 6yo son with my ex-wife (29F), we have a good co-parenting relationship and live fairly close to each other so I am usually the one to take him to school and also pick him up before taking him to his mom's. We don't have a formal custody arrangement through the court but we agreed he would stay mostly with her because of my job and so she can keep her SAHM status for as long as she wants.
My son has just recently started first grade and I already have a good relationship with most of the parents of the kids in his class because of meeting them while he was in kindergarten, we have a group chat and usually organize a few get-togethers for the kids to see each other outside of school and also so we can all socialize as well.
That being said, there is a new kid that just transferred to the school and her dad is not exactly someone I get along with. For the sake of this post I'll call him Todd (25?M).
Todd moved into the city just before the school year started and I've seen him at pick up but rarely see him around when I drop my son off in the morning, I've come to find out through some of the other parents that Todd is always on the verge of making his daughter be late and hurriedly dropping her off, so that's already a not so great first impression.
I have also heard from my own son that Todd's daughter always has some junk food in her lunchbox and since they're apparently friends now she seems to always want to trade it for whatever my ex-wife has packed for him that day.
Besides all of that it seems every single person around me seems completely enamoured with him and praise him as this amazing guy with that stupid hair and charming smile of his and I feel like I'm crazy for being the only one that actually sees this stuff.
So let's get to the title of this post: There was a barbecue organized by one of my ex-wife's neighbors and I was there with her and my son, Todd was also there with his daughter for some reason. After a few hours of just hanging around and eating I was just watching my son play with some other kid's (Todd's daughter included) and Todd came up to me.
After a few minutes of him awkwardly trying to make very bad small talk and run his hand through his hair for what seemed like a hundred times he asked the dreaded question: "Hey man I really don't know what the problem is but why do you keep avoiding me?"
(Edit because my ex-wife said this needed more context: I have not engaged with Todd outside of being polite and greeting him any time we ended up meeting each other in events like this, besides that I have not replied to him directly in the parent's group chat or tried to arrange anything between the two of us since we seem to be the two of the maybe five single fathers in the huge group of adults.)
I tried to deny it at first because that's just an awkward thing to tell someone right? But after some time I just told him "I just don't think you're a really good influence." and he got quiet and left me alone after that. My ex-wife pointed out that he seemed down and sort of closed off after that whenever people tried to chat with him and that maybe he just didn't leave after our talk because his daughter was there and hanging out with her friends.
Anyways now apparently the golden boy isn't really involved in the next events the mother's of the group are planning and my ex thinks that's my fault, I don't think so.
AITA?
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markmufc1999
YTA, the guy didn't even do anything and you were a dick to him even as he tried to extend an olive branch and clear everything up
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dadusathrowaway
i just don't think lying to him was a good idea, i just told him the truth.
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darkhaotic
"with that stupid hair and charming smile of his" who's gonna tell him?
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dadusathrowaway
what do you mean.
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starrnotstark
you sound like a real piece of shit mate
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dadusathrowaway
well fuck you too?
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starrnotstark
man posts am i the asshole post and gets shocked when people think he's an asshole
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starryxnight
why are you and your ex-wife so involved to the point of her telling you to post on reddit about you not being friends with some guy?
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dadusathrowaway
this is not relevant to the story at all but we got married straight out of highschool and realized we were better off as friends a year after my son was born, she still is and will always be my best friend so I take her advice in most of the things I do.
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