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Soil flies into the air as ammunition carves the ground. The booming sounds and yelled commands merge creating a high ringing in Klaus’ ears. He forces his body to stand upright scanning for his commander. Thankfully the tank Taki is in is shielded by others that are taking the blows. Klaus rights himself and throws a couple grenades towards the enemy- landing exactly where he intended.
Smiling, Klaus gets back on his motorcycle riding toward Taki. But before he can get very far a hot metal tears through his skin lodging deep into his flesh cracking a rib. Falling down he can’t tell if he is screaming or silent. Heat permeates red on his hands that desperately grab his side. Adrenaline and fear pierce like needles under his skin. As heat cools and lightness in his head takes over- Klaus stops struggling instead looking upwards toward the navy sky. Stars sparkling, reminding of that first training night at Luckenwelde, and the shine of Taki’s eyes.
Smooth skin, dark soft hair, and those deep colored eyes. Beautiful as always, seeing through him every time.
-
Klaus slowly blinks and sees he is in a golden field- wheat and grass warm from the sun.
He turns and sees Taki’s surprise slowly shifting from relief to bittersweet…then morphing into an expression Klaus always needed yet feared.
Klaus runs up and fiercely hugs Taki. Taki hesitates but then hugs him back just as tightly. Klaus kisses him smiling against his mouth.
“Is it over?” Klaus smiles looking at his love, the thing he most wanted came true. Maybe enough sacrifices and forgiveness of sins took them here- maybe he slept until this moment. Nothing could keep him from this- right?
Taki puts his hand on Klaus’ cheek rubbing the arch of his cheekbone.
“ In some ways”
Klaus puts his hand over Taki’s
“Now we get to live off the land right? Like you said it’s not a bad existence” untouched by war, finally unreachable enough to have the safety of their love.
“Not this time, not right now”
Then it hits Klaus, what this really is.
“You’re going to abandon me?” The tall golden stalks sway around them
Taki eyes fill with tears
Klaus holds Taki’s hands and a montage of moments enters his mind. Holding and dancing with Taki near the fireplace of their cottage. Baking Taki pastries filled with extra apples and honey and warm pots of coffee. He sees them in a private field laying on a blanket watching the sunset and later fucking Taki under the stars- their light the only thing viewing them.
It’s everything that could have been and what could never have been. A life that somehow existed too far from their grasp but was there nonetheless.
Taki grabs Klaus’ hands tighter.
“I don’t know if we will be reunited again” Taki’s voice cracking with the painful truth.
“ -but I promise that I will spend the rest of my time after looking to find you”
Miles across Klaus sees the soft smile of his sister, the golden hair of his mother, and Taki’s eyes on a woman wearing the same deep blue of Taki’s knighting robes. Even further Klaus sees the faint silhouette of an archer and the protective stance of a wolf.
Klaus looks back at Taki who nods-telling him to move toward them. Klaus turns and moves forward with heavy footsteps until he feels a push and arms around him.
“I love you. I’m sorry”
Klaus feels himself cracking. An invisible tremor, a numbness in his fingers.
Klaus turns to hold Taki just as tightly.
“I’m not. I was always yours, my flower”
Klaus buries his face into the soft silk of Taki’s hair. His hands and arms trying to touch everything.
Taki pulls back and kisses Klaus
Taki softly turns Klaus around. Klaus starts to walk forward, his body light- all the pain, the tension, the anger and secrecy moving absorbed and taken care of by the blue sky, the smell of flowers, and the petals that flow like snow.
-
In a private medical room , Taki wakes up still holding Klaus’ hand. Right as he starts to wake- he feels a warm pulse and the slight movement of Klaus’ fingers curling around his hand. As Taki blinks awake he feels the heat dissipate making Klaus’ once soft hand feel cold, rough and stiff.
“Klaus?” Taki asks fear creeping into his voice
“Klaus?!” Taki grabs his shoulders, shaking him slightly to no reaction. Taki screams for medical attention- and by some mercy Suguri is the one who hears.
Suguri injects Klaus with epinephrine.Tilts Klaus’ head and jaw to try to make breathing easier. Klaus is the same as he was positioned by the doctor, with no other movement.
Taki’s whole body stiffens a cluster of voices screaming at him how dirty this is- how impure. The voices of Hasabe, the 15th division soldiers that spat in Klaus’ direction, Taki’s elders who directed his every move. But the sharpest thought is it’s my fault. it’s my fault. it’s my fault.
Taki sobs into Klaus’ chest. Suguri reminds him of the need to keep clean for his purity, but Taki grabs tighter. Despite everything, Suguri cannot choose the cruelty of their beliefs over Taki’s consuming grief and tearing heart.
“I can give you until the morning” Suguri tells him softly and closes the door to the room.
Taki spends the rest of the night crying, pleading, his mind filled with images that are both memories and out of reach.