More than a wish

by Arato

Summary:

Giving gifts was never a New thing, so when Tay heard him ask, “Te, what do you want for your birthday?” he didn’t know how to respond.

What caught him off guard even more was his own mouth betraying him. Letting slip a wish he had buried deep inside, one that was never meant to be said out loud.

Or a wish that, somehow, turned into more than just a gift.

Chapter 1: Once is a mistake

The music was ungodly loud, blasting from the speakers in the club he had rented for his birthday party. It was starting to give him a headache, but at least the beat gave him an excuse to move—to do something, literally anything, with his body. Since the party started, he’d been pacing around, greeting every friend who walked in to wish him well. Every now and then, he’d grab another shot, drinking with whichever group he bumped into.

But the whole time, Tay felt uneasy as if something heavy was sitting on his chest, weighing on his heart. And the reason for that feeling was someone who was supposed to be there... but wasn’t. He didn’t see him anywhere, not near the bar, and not on the dance floor. Tay’s eyes kept drifting to the entrance, always waiting for his presence.

“He’s late,” was Tay’s first thought. But beneath that... he was afraid. Afraid that he wouldn’t come at all. Tay knew it was possible. He’d said he might not make it, that filming one of their shows out of town could keep him away. And yet still, Tay had hoped that he could see him at least for a second.

With every new face walking through the door, his stomach twisted tighter. Tay didn’t even know anymore if the anxiety came from His absence... or from what Tay had said to him a few weeks ago. Or maybe hadn’t said.

At this point, Tay wasn’t sure if those words had truly left his mouth or if his mind was just toying with him, replaying a scene that never actually happened.

But he was sure he got a reply. That part was real. And that was the only thing Tay could hold onto.

As he reached for yet another drink, half-talking to someone and half-staring at the main door to the club, his hand hesitated. An all too familiar figure—one that he could never mistake with anyone else's—appeared in the doorframe. 

He was here. He hadn’t lied when he said, “I’ll come no matter what.”

The one who walked in was, in fact, New.

Instantly, as if struck by lightning, Tay got up and raced toward the entrance of the venue, leaving not only his drink but also his friend long forgotten at the bar. He maneuvered between dancing people, eyes fixed on New, who was casually greeting some of their mutual friends. With each step closer to him, Tay’s stomach started acting up again, twisting tighter and tighter. 

So in the end, it wasn’t New’s absence that had been making him anxious; it was what happened that day.

The closer Tay got, the clearer his view of New became, and of what he was holding in his hand. A small paper bag. A nice-looking one, too.

Tay froze for a moment in the doorway leading to the corridor. Another strange feeling boiled in his stomach, but this time, it reached his heart too. And yet, part of him felt relieved. Relieved that New hadn’t taken to heart what Tay had told him.

Those past few weeks had been excruciating for him. He kept constantly thinking about that call. That damn call that shouldn’t have happened… or at least, should’ve gone in a completely different direction. 

But New… New acted as if it hadn’t affected him at all, still talking to Tay the same way as always: playful, teasing, and touchy. 

And that made Tay happy. Incredibly happy that nothing changed between them. Yet at the same time, he couldn’t shake this feeling of disappointment. The quiet sting that New hadn’t taken him seriously.

“Maybe it’s better this way…” Tay muttered to himself.

“What way?”

A voice that he would never fail to recognize snapped him out of his thoughts. Tay blinked rapidly, finding New suddenly right in front of him. The sudden closeness made him instinctively pull back half a step, though his eyes stayed locked on him. New leaned in slowly, a playful look tugging at his lips. Tay knew he probably just wanted to say something, but with the music this loud, he had to get close… really close.

And yet… the moment Tay saw those big, black, glistening eyes reflecting every flicker of light in the club, his brain seemed to short-circuit, and his heart stumbled over its rhythm. He knew that he couldn't handle it. Not right now. 

So before he could stop himself—before he could think at all—Tay grabbed New’s hand and pulled him toward the bathroom, the only place where the music wouldn’t drown their voices. 

New didn’t protest; he simply let Tay lead him wherever he wanted. 

His friend had been here for less than a minute, yet he had already managed to make Tay lose his mind. How could a simple lean toward him throw him so completely off balance? Did New want to be this close? Was that smirk just friendly… or something more?

The questions came too fast, piling on top of each other. Tay didn’t even stop to think about how it must look to the others. Him dragging New away, his own face twisted into some unidentifiable expression. He could only guess what they saw. 

New’s hand, firm yet soft, felt like an anchor, grounding Tay in the chaos swirling in his head. And when he felt New’s fingers shift, sliding into his grip to hold his hand too, Tay knew he must have made a completely different face, that he wouldn’t dare to show New, not now… not ever.

The moment they reached the bathroom, Tay slowly loosened his grip on New’s hand until he let go completely. He didn’t want to, but holding on any longer would only make things more awkward. Then he pushed the door open and stepped slightly to the side, just enough for New to pass him.

Without a word, New walked in, his side brushing lightly against Tay’s torso. Tay caught a whiff of his perfume—a rich scent of wood laced with a delicate note of some fresh fruit—and it made his head spin. He took a slow, deep breath, and as he exhaled, his senses followed the faint trail New had left behind.

“Get a hold of yourself, Tawan…” he murmured, barely audible while shaking his head.

When Tay looked toward New, he saw him leaning casually against the countertop by the sink. His expression was slightly puzzled, yet, to Tay’s surprise, that kittenish smile still played on his lips.

“New—”

“Here, birthday boy!” New said, extending a bag toward him. “A present for you.”

Tay slowly stepped closer and reached for the bag. His fingers brushed lightly against New’s as he took it, freeing New’s hand. He looked at the bag fleetingly and then straight into New’s eyes. A big smile formed on his face, making his eyes disappear for a moment.

“Thank you, Hin.” It was the first thing that slipped from his mouth, and it was sincere; he truly meant it. Tay knew that New only made this kind of effort for special people in his life, and now he knew he was also one of them.

“You didn’t have to, though…” Tay added, his voice carrying a faint teasing note as he pulled a nonchalant face. He shifted closer to New’s side, leaning against the countertop and bumping their shoulders together.

New scoffed at Tay’s words, ready, as always, to play along with his act.

“I didn’t need to? Says the one who, in that one interview, claimed I never give presents to anyone and demanded one for themselves,” New arched a brow and responded snarkily. He first pointed at himself, then jabbed an accusing finger right in front of Tay’s face.

Tay gently smacked New’s hand away. “Don’t point at me, asshole.”

“Well… It’s true you haven’t given me a present before,” Tay said in a sulky voice. “And you finally did… after I had to ask for it!” His tone sharpened into a playful one.

“Wow, so ungrateful. Now I’m slightly offended,” New replied, feigning hurt as he clutched dramatically at his chest. “I did give you something before. Don’t you remember that white rose I gave you for Valentine's?” His voice softened, a small pout appearing on his lips.

Tay’s lips twitched. Of course, he remembered, how could he forget? 

They’d been filming a new episode of their show when New had handed him a white rose in a beautiful box, saying it was his Valentine's Day gift. At the moment, Tay had played into their love-hate dynamic, bantering with New as always. But inside, he’d been over the moon.

“Hmm… a white rose… white rose…” Tay hummed softly, as if deep in thought, eyes fixed straight ahead with his head slightly tilted. “Nah, doesn’t ring a bell.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Tay saw New inhale sharply, as if caught off guard. New turned toward him quickly, a stern, but somehow adorable, expression on his face, clearly searching for a comeback.

“You—”

“Oh yeah! That one.” Leaning to the left, he bumped New’s side lightly with his shoulder. “Of course I remember.”

“Now you do remember…” New murmured. “That makes it two gifts!” 

“So no more whining from you.”

New always knew exactly how to get under Tay’s skin, and annoyingly, Tay knew that the more he reacted, the happier it made him. That’s why Tay decided to let it slide this time; it was his birthday, after all, and he wasn’t about to waste the night bickering. Besides, he didn’t want to hand New more ammunition to tease him with. The worst part was that seeing New happy—especially when it was because of him—always warmed something inside Tay, even if it infuriated him at the same time.

“Yeah, yeah, no more whining… promise,” Tay said, dragging out each word.

They fell into a comforting silence, broken only by the faint thump of music seeping through the door… and the pounding of Tay’s own heart, which he prayed only he could hear. If New could hear it, it would surely give away his true feelings, and Tay wasn’t ready for that. He wasn’t sure if he ever would be.

Yet, the boiling knot in his stomach wouldn’t let go. He wasn’t upset with New; he was upset with himself for even allowing the thought that New might actually make his wish come true. And the guilt stung just as much, for seeing his friend in that light.

“Thanks for coming,” Tay said at last, his voice breaking the silence before it became unbearable, hoping to silence the shame gnawing at him. “Thought you wouldn’t come at all.” He glanced at New again, his eyes unable to hide the sadness that crept in.

“How could I skip my best friend's birthday? I told you before that I’d come no matter what.” 

“I know… But Hin, didn’t you say you have a shoot tomorrow?” Tay asked, his voice laced with worry. He knew his friend had responsibilities that couldn’t simply be rescheduled. And New was not the kind of person to back out or disregard them. “How will you get there on time?”

“Don’t worry about it, I have a plane first thing in the morning. I'll be there on time,” answered New with a sigh, “And the shooting itself was already ‘postponed’.”

“Wait.. what do you mean it was already ‘postponed’?” Tay said, looking confused at New. He studied New’s face, searching for any hint of what he might be hiding. All he caught was New averting his eyes.

“Heh…” was the only thing that left New’s mouth, an awkward, short laugh, though Tay wasn’t even sure if he could call it like that. The moment Tay locked eyes with him for a second, New lowered his head.

Did New really postpone his job for him? Was his friend out of his mind? The thought made Tay furious; furious that New could even consider doing something like that for him. He wasn’t supposed to be that special.

“Don’t ‘heh’ me. Did you skip your shooting to be here?! Are you out of your mind?!” He needed to know—right now—or he’d be the one going crazy, not New. He grabbed New’s shoulder and turned him to face him, wanting to see every flicker of his reaction.

“Maybe…?” New answered slowly, quietly, almost like he was afraid Tay might explode at him, which, in truth, he already was doing. He still kept his head down, avoiding any nonverbal confrontation with him. And that finally made Tay snap.

“Hin!” Tay barked at him.

“Ugh…” A low, weary sound slipped from New, his face twisting with a mix of pain and faint shame. If anyone had seen them at that moment, it would have looked like a father scolding a child who wasn’t exactly sorry for what he’d done.

“You shouldn’t—” Tay began, ready to unleash a full reprimand, but stopped when New’s hand suddenly pressed against his mouth with a soft thud, covering it completely. Tay froze, startled not only by the unexpected touch but by the sudden, unflinching eye contact. There was something burning in New’s gaze; something unfamiliar, something Tay couldn’t pinpoint at the moment.

“I know! So… shut up for a second!” This time, New was the one shouting at Tay, but unlike Tay’s outburst, his voice carried no anger. It was tired, jeering, and… almost intimate? Tay wasn’t sure what exactly was driving him, but he knew one thing: New was about to get under his skin, and the heat creeping up his neck told him that New knew exactly what he was doing.

“I sweet-talked the director,” New began hurriedly, “and explained that I absolutely had to be here.” He emphasized the word here by pointing his finger directly at Tay’s chest, or at least, close enough that Tay thought he could feel the warmth of it through his shirt. Maybe he imagined it. Or maybe New just didn’t pull back fast enough. A coy smile briefly flickered across New’s lips before he moved his hand away.

“I told them we’d make up for it tomorrow, shoot longer if we have to…” He shrugged, clearly unfazed. “So don’t worry your pretty head. And definitely don’t blame yourself!” His expression shifted suddenly, the playful edge softening into something almost pleading. 

New had a point; Tay shouldn’t blame himself for his friend’s actions, but he just couldn’t help it. Not when New’s career and future could hinge on something as reckless as showing up for his birthday.

“It was entirely my decision.” He tapped his own chest, then poked Tay’s again, harder this time to make it feel deliberate. “You’re not that powerful… though you’d love to be.” The smugness returned, paired with a quick flick of his eyes down and back up, as if to make sure Tay caught it. And Tay did, although he would have preferred to remain oblivious. Those last words, paired with New’s grin, replayed in his mind and sent an unexpected chill down his spine.

He would love to be that powerful. But he wasn’t. Tay knew it. No matter how much he wanted New to do something, he could never truly make him do it… no matter how hard he tried.

Tay didn’t know what mind games New was trying to play with him today, but he was certain this was the first time he’d been so daring, and not just for show. Somehow, New’s monologue had calmed him; he still believed New shouldn’t have done that, but what was done couldn’t be undone. Part of him still wanted to argue, not out of anger, but simply for the sake of arguing; yet New’s hand over his mouth kept him quiet.

“Now that I’m done, I'll move my hand, and you won't shout at me. Okay?” New narrowed his eyes, waiting for Tay's answer. Tay slightly nodded in agreement.

“Okay,” New murmured, a soft smile tugging at his lips, then he finally moved his hand away and rested it on the countertop beside him.

“New, still, you shouldn't have—” Tay began again, trying to reason with him—calmly this time—but was quickly shushed.

“Shhh… let it go, Te.” New closed his eyes, looking more tired than annoyed. Tay caught himself smiling faintly; of course, even now, New had the upper hand.

“I knew that if I didn’t show up, you’d overthink it to death, mope around, and then bring it up for the next ten years just to guilt-trip me.” He blurted it all before letting out a dramatic and heavy sigh, as if he was the one suffering here.

And annoyingly, he wasn’t wrong. Tay could obsess over the smallest thing until it drove him crazy. No wonder New had kept the postponement of his shooting to himself; he’d only done it to spare himself the overthinking. Still, Tay also knew New well enough to be sure that one day he’d throw this back at him, milking it for all it was worth. He would do the same if the roles were reversed.

“But the main reason…” New’s voice softened, “…was that I’d feel bad about it. Really bad. Like, I don’t think I could forgive myself for missing your big day.”

He glanced at Tay then, eyes flickering with something raw and genuine, but that kittenish little smile lingered, like he couldn’t help himself. “So don’t flatter yourself too much. I didn’t come for you…” He paused just long enough to make Tay gulp before adding slyly, “…I came to save myself from your endless whining.” He finished with a prideful look, punctuating it by shrugging his shoulders.

There was truth behind the tease, enough of it that Tay suddenly didn’t trust his own voice. He knew one wrong word would ruin the moment, or worse, give New more reasons to argue. So he stayed still, glaring at him instead, which only seemed to amuse New more.

“Now, did I defend my right to be here?” New leaned closer, doe eyes wide and lips slightly parted, making himself look almost innocent. Tay’s biggest weakness—right after that mole on New’s nose—were his eyes. Tay’s gaze swept over his face: from those eyes, down his beautiful nose, across his luscious lips, and back again. He bit his own lip, scrambling to come up with something witty to answer New’s question. 

But before he could say anything, New slowly leaned back, still holding Tay’s gaze. “Or do you want me to book a new flight right now?” he teased, slipping a hand into his pocket, clearly reaching for his phone.

Tay reacted on instinct, hastily grabbing his hand to stop him. He guided New’s hand back to where it had been before and rested his own on top of it, not even thinking about what he was doing.

“It’s okay. I get it now. You could’ve just started with the part where you’d feel so bad for not being here that you’d never forgive yourself.” It was Tay's turn to be smug, throwing New’s words back at him just to give him a taste of his own medicine.

“Is that all you got out of my talk?” New looked at him, dumbfounded, which only made Tay more amused. He wanted to let out a chuckle but swallowed it down in time, keeping his face stoic to look cool, as if New’s mocking but heartfelt words hadn’t gotten to him.

“No, but in summary…” Tay grinned from ear to ear, leaning into the moment. “You love me so much that you had to be here.” He emphasized the words deliberately, tightening his grip on New’s hand, trying to coax any reaction out of him. Two could play this game, and Tay wasn’t planning on losing today. All he needed was to fluster New a little, and the win would be his.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s go with that.” New let out something between a sigh and a giggle; softer, more endearing than Tay was used to hearing from him. And Tay could swear he saw the faintest pink creep across his cheek before New looked away. That was a point to Tay, whether New wanted to admit it or not.

While they sat, shy smiles tugging at their lips, their sweet moment was abruptly shattered by the doors swinging open with a loud bang. Tay felt his soul leave his body at the sudden crash, and he caught New flinching beside him. In one motion, he turned toward the noise, and there stood his other best friend in the doorway, looking visibly annoyed.

“Tay! There you are. Everyone’s been looking for you!” Off shouted, his voice edged with some kind of relief. Judging by his tone, it must have taken him a while to track Tay down. When his eyes shifted to New, he opened his mouth as if to speak, but then his gaze dropped to their still-joined hands. He shut his mouth, eyes flickering between the two of them with pointed curiosity. “Sorry… did I interrupt something?” he asked, wiggling his brows and smiling knowingly.

The moment Tay realized where Off was looking, he yanked his hand away from New’s, quickly tucking it behind his neck and scratching as if it had been there all along. He could feel New shifting beside him, and suddenly the warmth at his side was gone.

“Off! You scared the shit out of me,” Tay blurted, clutching his chest in mock horror, anything to derail Off before he could dig any deeper. He tilted his head toward New and added, “You scared both of us, actually.”

“Sorry, not sorry. You deserved it for despairing like that on me,” said Off, clearly annoyed. He probably didn’t approve of Tay leaving him at the bar the moment he spotted New in the crowd. Tay felt a little guilty, but how could he resist going to New, when he had been waiting for him all along?

“Also… hi, New. Thought you weren’t coming tonight.” Off looked at him as if he knew something Tay didn’t. New simply waved in a greeting, shaking his head and staying silent, probably sparing himself further explanations.

“Enough chit-chat. Tay, we need you over there right now,” Off said as he stepped closer, jerking his head toward the exit. He grabbed Tay’s hand and started pulling him along. Tay wanted to protest, bracing himself where he stood, but one look at Off’s stern face made him change his mind. With a resigned sigh, he snatched up the present bag New had given him and let Off drag him away. Still, he threw New a questioning glance, silently asking if he was coming too.

“I’ll be there in a moment,” New answered, as if he had read Tay’s eyes perfectly.

“Ahh… Te, wait!” New called out just as Tay was disappearing through the doorway. Hearing his voice, Tay leaned back in, poking his head once again into the bathroom with a puzzled expression, waiting for New to continue.

“Happy birthday!” New shouted over the music spilling in from the hall, flashing him a big smile.

Tay didn’t even have the chance to thank him before Off yanked him through the exit. Still, his eyes lingered on New’s until the door swung shut between them. Tay was certain he had never seen that kind of smile on New’s face before—gorgeous, almost eternal. It outshone every smile he had ever witnessed from him on or off screen.

As Off was dragging him down the corridor, Tay was still hung up on New’s words and that damn smile. It might’ve been the best present he’d ever received. Even the bag in his hand couldn’t compare to what he just witnessed. The thought made him ridiculously giddy, a stupidly big smile plastered on his face that refused to leave.

The moment he stepped onto the dance floor with Off, all the lights went out, making him jolt inside. A second later, a dim glow appeared; a cake was being rolled into the middle of the room. Along with it came the sound of everyone singing Happy Birthday.

Tay slowly walked up to a small table now standing in the center, a big, beautifully decorated cake waiting for him with lit candles dancing on top.

As he stood there, waiting for the song to end, he caught New sheepishly emerging from the hallway. Leaning against the wall, New smoothly joined the chant, throwing him a funny look, as if to say, you must be dying from embarrassment right now.

When the final note rang out, someone chirped, “Make a wish!” Tay bent over the cake, but before blowing out the candles, he locked eyes with New. He held it for a second, pretending to think. In truth, he already knew what he wanted—he had from the very start—and it was standing right there in front of him. He didn’t dare to say it again out loud, though; one time had already been too much, leaving him wanting to crawl into a hole.

This time, he only thought it, then blew out the candles. As the clapping and laughter slowly melted back into the usual party chatter, Tay’s eyes drifted to the cake. He wasn’t a fan of sweets himself, but he instantly thought of New. Tay knew that he had the biggest sweet tooth in their group, and there was no way he’d miss the chance to eat some tonight. Instinctively, Tay grabbed two slices and headed in New’s direction.

As he approached, he saw New talking with Off. Tay extended one plate toward him.

“Here you go. I’m sure you haven’t eaten in a while, so fill yourself up with your favorite,” he said, offering the slice with a smile. 

“Thanks, Tay, but I’ll have to refuse tonight.” New’s voice was unusually heavy, his face clouded with regret, as if saying it actually hurt. To say Tay was shocked would be an understatement. New refusing any snack—let alone cake—was unheard of. Sure, he never ate huge portions, but he loved to graze all the time. Even on set, he always had some snack tucked away.

“You what?” Tay blurted, dumbfounded. Off looked just as stunned. They exchanged a horrified glance, as if wondering if this really was their friend.

“Are you really New?” Off asked, squinting suspiciously, his voice tinged with disgust. Tay silently agreed.

“Haha… hilarious. You’re both such great friends,” New replied dryly, rolling his eyes. “It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I can’t. Simple as that.” He shrugged with a sigh.

Tay didn’t buy it. Sure, New had a shooting in just a few hours, but that never stopped him before. So why now?

He and Off exchanged another look, then turned back to New, making it obvious they thought his excuse was insane.

“Stop looking at me like that…” New uttered, pulling a tired face. “I can’t. End of discussion.” His eyes flashed sharp enough to cut, daring them to press further. Neither of them did.

“But you can drink?” Off asked, hope lacing his tone as curiosity lit up his face.

“Yeah, that I won’t refuse,” New replied with a smug grin, making it clear he was ready to get wasted with them. Tay bit back a laugh, of course, New wouldn’t miss the chance. Still, he made a mental note to keep an eye on him. Someone had to make sure the supposed professional actor didn’t show up to work tomorrow completely wrecked.

The next few hours melted into music, laughter, and alcohol. Tay drank and danced with Off, New, and the rest of his close friends, but no matter where he was, his attention never strayed far from New. He noticed everything—how often he lifted his glass, the way he swayed to the rhythm, and especially those fleeting glances he kept stealing at him across the room. 

At some point, Tay realized he wasn’t really watching over New anymore. He was just watching him, full stop. The irony stung a little; he had promised himself to keep track of New’s drinking, yet he hadn’t even kept count of his own. In fact, he’d already been drinking before New showed up, and by now, the number of glasses had completely slipped his mind.

The more Tay drank, the more his affection bled through—his worst nightmare. Ever since realizing that his feelings for New went deeper than friendship, he had tried to avoid drinking too much around him. Drunk Tay was clingy, and that terrified him. He had spent months making sure New never saw too much, never guessed the depth of what he felt. But now? His restraint was slipping. All he wanted was to be close to New. 

Every brush of New’s shoulder against his, every laugh they shared, every glance that lingered half a second too long was driving him mad. He wanted to wrap an arm around him, to run his hand through his hair like a good Phi just to see that playful scowl, to show him the affection he was holding back, and maybe even whisper something reckless in his ear just to watch him blush. Tonight, he let himself slip just a little—leaning closer than necessary, letting his hand linger on New’s arm longer than a friend’s would, flashing him smiles that said more than he dared to voice sober.

In the end, Tay ended up drunk—as did nearly everyone else at his party—but, surprisingly, not New. He was holding himself together pretty well; he hadn’t drunk nearly as much as he’d seemed eager to at first.

Now Tay was sitting by the bar with New, draped all over him, his head resting on New’s shoulder, a stupid, drunken but satisfied grin plastered on his lips. He shifted, nuzzling into New’s neck and inhaling the mix of his strong yet sweet cologne with his own natural scent. It felt so comfortable that he found his eyes slowly drifting shut, although his heart was fighting a losing battle not to fall even deeper for New.

To his misfortune, New shifted a moment later, trying to ease him off. Tay could only protest with a whine—all the strength had left his body long ago after hours of drinking and dancing. New leaned in and whispered directly into his ear, just loud enough to be heard over the music, 

“Te, are you tired? Don’t tell me the birthday boy’s giving up on me this early. Should I take you home before you collapse right here?”

Tay, now slumped against the bar counter with his cheek pressed flat to it, blinked at him lazily through hazy eyes. He wanted to say he was fine, that he still needed New’s company, but no words came. He was done for tonight, and judging by New’s look, nothing he said would have convinced him otherwise.

“Almost everyone’s gone by now. You’ve got work in the afternoon, and you need some sleep before that,” New said, propping an elbow on the counter. Then he reached out with his other hand and poked Tay’s cheek, grinning faintly. “Come on, Te, I’ll drive you. Unless you want me to carry you out of here in front of everyone?”

“Mmmm… ’kay,” Tay mumbled, face warming, annoyed by New’s touch but too weak to swat him away. His lips tugged upward, betraying him, because deep down, the thought of New carrying him out didn’t sound so bad.

They gathered all of Tay’s presents, said their goodbyes to the remaining friends—especially to Off, who was looking at them suspiciously—and headed toward New’s car. 

The unusually chilly air sobered Tay up a little; it felt like he was a new person after being hit by it. He didn’t even need New’s support to walk, and his mind was clearer too.

 “Are you sure that you’re able to drive now?” Tay asked more to the air than directly to New; he was sure New would catch it anyway.

“Yes, I’m sure. I didn’t drink that much, nothing strong, and the last time I raised a glass was hours ago,” replied New, nonchalant but with reassurance lingering in his voice. 

“You were plastered all over me almost all night, and you still didn’t notice.” New’s sudden callout about his clinginess caught Tay completely off guard. He turned toward him in a swift motion, cheeks and even ears burning red with embarrassment.

“N-no… I-I wasn’t plastered all over you… I was… just having fun with you.” Tay tried to sound collected instead of a flustered mess, but his stuttering betrayed him. “And with the others,” he added in a lower voice a second later.

“Sure, if that’s what you want to call it.” New snickered, clearly amused by Tay stumbling over his words.

Tay leaned back against New’s car, waiting for him to unlock the doors. New had been walking slightly behind him the whole time, but now, as Tay looked at him directly, it felt like he was approaching in slow motion—casually cool, faintly rosy-cheeked, carrying all the presents, and laughing at him. Tay wanted to capture that moment so badly that he almost reached for his phone to take a few photos, but he resisted the urge. He didn’t want to give New more reasons to tease him or to fuel his already obvious downbad agenda.

When New finally reached him, he stopped close—really close—the same way they had met earlier that night, the kind of close that left Tay confused. Sometimes he wished New was just a little shorter, so he wouldn’t have to lock eyes with him every time they stood like this. Tay closed his eyes and hitched his breath once more.

Tay felt New reaching behind him for the handle to open the door. “Get in,” he said, tilting his head toward the passenger seat. Then he quickly backed off to carefully set all of Tay’s presents in the back seat. He walked around to the other side of the car, but before he slid into the driver’s seat, he called out, “You don’t look drunk enough for me to help you with that too,” and let out another chuckle. Tay finally exhaled a long, shaky breath, feeling the tips of his ears burning again, and climbed in beside New, trying hard to calm his racing heart.

 

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The ride to Tay’s condo was peaceful, with soft music playing from New’s radio. The calm atmosphere made Tay sleepy again. Letting his head rest against the window, he closed his eyes and didn't fight with this feeling anymore.

His nap was cut short when New pulled the car over. At first, Tay thought they had reached his condo, but the bright glow of a neon sign made him blink in confusion. When his eyes finally adjusted, he realized they had stopped in front of a market. He caught New’s gaze through the front mirror, only for New to avert his eyes immediately. Weird, Tay thought.

“Give me a moment, I’ll grab something quickly,” New said in a low, soothing voice, almost as if telling Tay to keep resting. Tay only hummed in reply and settled back into his seat.

But left alone in the car, he couldn’t fall asleep again. His mind spun, replaying everything that had happened that night. New showing up just for him, postponing work, giving him a present, their long conversation in the bathroom thick with tension, New acting strangely… and Tay himself clinging to him without New ever pushing him away.

The more he thought about it, the less sense it made. Why had New insisted on driving him home? Tay could’ve managed on his own, and New had work in just a few hours. Why was he being so unusually… kind? 

Normally, New would’ve laughed at him for being too drunk to take care of himself, then told him to call a driver—especially with his own work just a few hours away. If it weren’t for that, Tay knew New would’ve taken him home anyway. But this time, when he offered, there had been something in his eyes. Something that left Tay wondering what might happen once they were left alone.

And that thought—reckless and impossible—made him hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, New wanted to grant that stupid wish Tay had blurted out on their video call weeks ago.

 

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They were casually talking about their day, work, friends, and Tay’s upcoming birthday. Then, out of nowhere, New asked in a sweet voice, “Te, what do you want for your birthday?”

The question caught Tay off guard. New had never given him a present before, and he was aware that New didn’t put effort into those kinds of things if it wasn’t involving people close to him. The thought made him happy, but also unsettled, and he wasn’t entirely sure why.

It should have been a normal question. Every other friend of his had asked the same thing. But with New, it was different. To the rest of them, he would simply say he wanted some clothes or a new lens. Easy. So why… why couldn’t he bring himself to say that to New?

Part of Tay knew the answer, even if he was scared to admit it. New was too special to him; not just as a friend, but something more. If he wanted something from New, it had to be meaningful, something between just the two of them. And deeper still, buried in his heart, was the truth he never dared to say out loud: what he wished for most was New himself. His love, his heart, his soul, his body. He wanted all of it. Yet he knew he could never have it. They weren’t meant to be anything more than friends.

“Tete? Are you still there?” New’s voice tugged at him from the background, but Tay barely heard it.

His mind was too busy echoing those forbidden words—your love, your heart, your soul, your body—again and again. He stared at New’s pixelated face on the screen, and before he knew it, the words slipped past his lips.

“...your body.” 

It wasn’t whispered. It came out full volume, with a confidence that didn’t even feel like his own. 

Had he just said that out loud? Or was he imagining things?

Panic rushed through him, twisting his face into horror. What should he do? Laugh it off? Pretend nothing happened?

Silence followed. If they weren’t video calling, Tay would’ve jumped out one of his windows. He was suffocating in that pause, waiting for New’s reaction. But New’s expression wasn’t disgust. He just looked rather… confused.

Tay was about to turn it into a joke when New spoke, softly, almost casually, “Sure.” 

This… was not what Tay expected. Sure? Did New actually understand what he’d just said? Or had he misheard? Maybe he thought it was just a joke?

“Hin… you know I was just jo—”

“Oh, hey Tay, I’ve got another call from P’Yui. Talk to you later.” New cut him off in a hurry, waving with a smile before hanging up.

And just like that, he was left alone with a storm forming in his head.

 

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Remembering it now, Tay groaned and threw himself across the seat in embarrassment, dragging his hands through his hair and over his face. He never should’ve let himself recall it again.

His little tantrum was cut short by the loud slam of car doors, making him jump in the seat. He quickly turned his head toward the noise and saw New sliding in, looking at him with a mix of concern and confusion. Great. Now he’ll think Tay had gone completely crazy or something.

“What are you doing?” New asked, scanning him as if searching for something that would explain his behaviour.

“Nothing.” Tay straightened his back, trying to act as though nothing had happened. New studied him for a second before shaking his head. Then Tay heard a rustling of a plastic bag and saw New pulling something out.

“Here, drink this.” New handed him a small bottle of electrolytes. “And tomorrow, after you wake up, take these.” He dropped a pack of pills onto Tay’s lap.

“Thanks, Hin,” Tay muttered, wiping his mouth after downing the bottle in one gulp.

New tossed the bag into the back seat. It wasn’t empty, but Tay couldn’t quite tell what else was inside. He caught a glimpse of another small box and a bottle—maybe another set of electrolytes and pills for New, maybe something else. The uncertainty nagged at him for the rest of the drive.

 

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“Make yourself at home.” Tay threw over his shoulder as he opened the doors to his condo. He quickly slipped out of his boots, set half of his presents on the floor, and collapsed onto the sofa with a heavy thump. 

New followed him in, switched into slippers, tidied the mess Tay had left at the entrance, and even grabbed a spare pair for him.

“You sure I can stay until my flight?” New asked, setting down the rest of Tay’s presents and tossing the slippers his way.

“Of course. You must be exhausted. And it’s way more convenient to get there from here than driving all the way back home, right?” Tay said, knowing damn well New was too lazy to double the trip.

With a pained expression, New sighed, “Yeah, it is.”

Despite his short nap in New’s car, Tay’s eyelids felt just as heavy as they had at the bar. Half-sitting, half-lying on the couch, soaking in New’s comforting presence, Tay was once more slowly dozing off.

“Hey, no sleeping yet!” New’s voice yanked him back, followed by something heavy pressing into his thigh, making him grunt. “Go take a shower first.”

Blinking his eyes open, Tay saw New leaning over him, his knee pinning Tay's leg. If he weren’t so worn out, his imagination would already be running dangerous tricks on him, steering his thoughts somewhere far from pure.

With half-lidded eyes, Tay slid his hand off his own thigh and placed it gently on New’s. Instead of pushing him away, he let it rest there, his fingers curling slightly as if testing how far he could go.

“Ugh… you’re so bossy,” he murmured in a low voice, lips twitching into a faint smile. After a beat, he added, “...fine, mom. I’ll go.”

Still, he didn’t move right away. His hand lingered on New’s thigh just long enough to make it clear it hadn’t been an accident. He felt the faint tension in New’s muscles, saw the way his eyes darted aside, almost shy. When Tay finally pushed himself up, the weight of what he’d just done hit him.

That was why he fled the living room so quickly, afraid of what he might have done if he’d pushed his luck any further.

Tay barged into the bathroom and almost instantly pressed his back against the door. His hand clutched at his chest, feeling it tighten, though that wasn’t the only place it did. Clenching his teeth, he glanced at the mirror and saw his own flushed reflection. Tay knew exactly what had triggered it seconds ago, but he prayed New didn’t notice. He wanted to blame it on the alcohol instead.

Without thinking, he hastily stripped and stepped under the shower. Maybe the water would wash away the burning heat in his chest, and, more urgently, his throbbing dick. The instant the cold drops hit his skin, Tay tried to clear his mind.

“Calm down, Tay… Nothing happened… and nothing will happen,” he muttered in what was supposed to be a steady voice, but his ragged breaths betrayed him. Immediately, the memory of New pressing against him flashed back—how much he wished New would go further and straddle him, whisper one of his sly teases into his ear, and then Tay could just take him and—

“Don’t think about it,” he groaned, burying his face in his hands, a low grunt slipping out against his palms. He stayed like that for minutes, until his heart finally slowed and his body—his very eager body—reluctantly calmed down.

After—what felt like an hour but was really just a few minutes—Tay emerged from the bathroom, dressed only in a towel wrapped around his waist and another slung over his shoulders. The shower had cooled not only his body, but also his racing heart and mind, leaving him strangely clear-headed. Not a single thought of New’s touch—or his own reckless reaction—remained.

When he stepped into his room, New was waiting with clothes neatly prepared for him. “Thanks,” slipped from Tay’s lips as he rubbed at his hair with the towel. Then, deliberately, he added, “Now, it’s your turn.” His look made it clear: he wasn’t letting New into his bed without a shower. “And don’t make me wait too long.” 

Tay shot him one last glance, but New only smiled and left the room. No teasing, no snarky remarks, just quiet compliance. And that threw Tay off balance. This wasn’t like him. New would never let him win this easily.

Still unsettled, Tay turned to the clothes lying on his bed. New really needed to stop caring for him this much; it was starting to mess with his head. And Tay wasn’t sure anymore what New’s intentions truly were. Shaking the thought away for now, he pulled on a pair of briefs and a shirt, then sat down to finish drying his hair.

When he was finally done, he collapsed backward onto the bed, only for a faint rustling to catch his attention. He turned his head and spotted the same plastic bag New had brought back from the market.

“What’s this doing here?” he muttered. Tay grabbed it, meaning to toss it onto the floor, but something in his gut stopped him. Instead, he hesitated and then peeked inside. 

At the bottom of the semi-transparent plastic bag was a small bottle of lube and a pack of condoms.

“...”

There's just no way that New bought it to use it with him… right? Did he actually plan to grant Tay’s wish, or were Tay’s eyes playing tricks on him? He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

Tay carefully, as noiselessly as he could, slipped his hand inside the bag. He grabbed the bottle, just to make sure he wasn’t imagining things.

But the contents were real. Too real.

He dropped the lube back into the bag as if it had burned his fingers, quickly setting it aside exactly how it had been before, like nothing ever happened. Then he sat up straight at the edge of the bed. One hand over his chest, desperate to calm his racing heart; the other hovered near his mouth as he tried to steady himself.

His mind was a mess. How was he supposed to think straight when his best friend had just bought something like that? To use with… him? Unless… unless New was planning to use it with someone waiting for him on set.

That thought hit harder than it should have. The image of New with someone else—letting them touch him, kiss him, take him—made Tay’s stomach twist. The thought of anyone else having what should be his sent a surge of heat and jealousy through his chest. The idea of losing his Hin to anyone else made him feel sick.

He bit down on his thumb, frantically trying to come up with any other explanation. But before he could convince himself of anything, a sound at the door startled him.

“What’s with that stinky face?” New stood there, dressed in one of Tay’s shirts and briefs, with water dripping from his hair down to his shoulders. Seeing the small droplets splashing onto the floor, Tay remembered he’d left only one towel in the bathroom; of course, New couldn’t dry his hair.

“It’s nothing,” Tay said, doing his best to sound casual and not like someone who’d just been overthinking because of a dumb bottle of lube. “Come here.” He patted the bed beside him. “I’ll dry your hair.”

“Are you sure?” New asked, lowering himself, not beside Tay, but onto the floor, between his legs, with his back against the bed. Tay froze for a moment. He’d dried New’s hair before, sure… but never like this. 

He lifted the towel and started gently rubbing New’s damp hair. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

The room fell silent. Only the soft sound of the towel brushing through New’s hair filled the air, and New’s low hums, almost like a purr. That sound made something in Tay twitch. He could listen to it for hours, days, eternity. He wished he could be the only one who got to do this for New, for the rest of their lives.

When they got too cozy like this, Tay’s mind wandered off to places it shouldn’t. To futures that could never be. A life where they were something more than friends, but not less than that. A life where they shared not just laughter and tears, but hearts, bodies, souls.

And tonight, his mind was stuck on the body part. That damned plastic bag, sitting just a few feet away, mocked him with its silence.

Just as his gaze flicked toward it, New’s voice broke the silence—low, curious, with something darker laced beneath. “Did you take a peek?”

“Huh?” Tay blinked, caught completely off guard.

“The bag…” New half turned toward him, resting his head against Tay’s thigh. “Did you look inside?” he asked precisely, while making eye contact with Tay. His doe eyes gleamed under the dim bedroom lights. 

He knew.

He knew that Tay did this, and there was no way for him to deny it.

“...” Tay opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. It was hard to admit that not only did he snoop on his friends' belongings, but also that he was kind of anticipating what New would do with them. “...Yes,” he added shortly after a pause, this one word hardly passing through his throat. He knew that he must have sounded like a scolded puppy waiting for his punishment. 

But no reprimand came.

Instead, New leaned in and pressed his soft lips gently to Tay’s thigh. Tay choked on his saliva; his once-steady heartbeat turned wild again, and a shiver rippled through his whole body. Then another tender kiss landed a little closer to his groin, sending a jolt straight there too.

“Hin…” Tay whispered, his eyes locking on New’s almost innocent gaze. “What are you—” 

But he couldn’t finish, because New’s tongue brushed the exact spot where the previous kiss had landed. Fuck was the only thought that crossed his mind. He was completely fucked, and if this continued, there’d be no going back. Not that he wanted to. But he needed to, if he wanted to keep their friendship intact.

“Isn’t this what you wanted, Te?” New’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Tay’s expression turned into one big question mark as he tilted his head slightly.

“You said it yourself,” New continued, speaking between more pecks against Tay’s thigh. Then he shifted, propping himself up on his knees, and God, he looked so hot doing it that Tay had to swallow hard. Seeing his friend kneeling between his legs like this felt straight out of his fantasies, and he still couldn’t believe it was actually happening.

“That you want my body as your gift,” New smirked, resting both hands on Tay’s thighs as he leaned closer. Another gulp. Another sharp gasp. Another electric jolt shooting through Tay.

“...Or,” he added, giving Tay a playful squeeze that made his muscles twitch, and bit his lip in anticipation for the last line, “did I interpret that the wrong way?” He tilted his head, mirroring Tay’s earlier gesture, a small, innocent smile tugging at his lips—as if he hadn’t just driven Tay to the edge of sanity.

“Y–ye… I–I mean n–no?” Tay stammered, not knowing what New wanted him to say. On one hand, he hoped this was just another one of New’s jokes, but on the other, he wanted it. He wanted him so badly that part of him was ready to admit it. Still, the fear of ruining their friendship held him back.

“Did I ever say that?” he asked, trying to play dumb—buying himself time, waiting for New to make the next move, to see how serious this was. But New only gave him a stern look before pushing himself up even more, slowly crawling onto Tay’s lap until he was straddling him completely.

“Yes, you did. A few weeks ago.” New’s voice was playful, but there was a low, raspy undertone that made Tay gulp. He silently prayed that New wouldn’t feel how hard he was getting. New’s hands slid up to Tay’s shoulders, locking him in something like a hug. “Do you want me to refresh your memory?”

“Don’t.” Tay’s voice came out hoarse as he shifted, trying to keep New from sitting directly on his growing erection, but New resisted, pressing down harder into his lap.

“New…” Tay gasped when New suddenly grinded against him. His eyes squeezed shut for a moment as he tried to steady himself. “If this is one of your pranks, then please…”

This time, Tay’s voice was serious. He looked New straight in the eyes, making it clear that he was affected, even if he wished he wasn’t. “Stop it already,” he pleaded softly. He was done with this game. If New really wanted to win that badly, Tay was ready to give it to him; anything to make him stop playing with his heart.

“Tay, don’t overthink. Just answer me.” New was leaning in painfully slowly, his eyes flicking between Tay’s eyes and lips. Tay was about to give in, to meet his lips halfway, but at the last moment, New changed direction, going straight for his ear. 

“Is this what you wanted?” he hissed, his breath hot against Tay’s skin as his fingers brushed lightly over the back of his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. Then he leaned back, locking eyes with Tay, waiting for his response.

Normally, Tay had no trouble reading New’s eyes, but tonight, it was different. Those big, dark orbs looked almost empty, yet at the same time, something deeper flickered within them, begging to be unleashed. And Tay was about to find out what that was.

He bit the inside of his cheek, squeezed his eyes shut, and tilted his head back toward the ceiling as if silently begging the gods for help. A flood of what-ifs ran through his mind, but none of them offered an answer. So he decided to give in—to the moment, to the alcohol, to New—just like he had back at the party.

For once, he would trust his instincts.

When his gaze met New’s again—his New, at least for tonight—he gave a small nod. New bit his lip, trying and failing to hide a smile that crept across his face before slipping his hand into Tay’s hair and pulling him into a kiss.

New’s plump lips collided with his, at first gently, as if testing the waters. When neither of them pulled away, their movements grew quicker, deeper, breaths mingling between every touch and peck, until New slid his tongue out, licking Tay’s lips and inviting himself in to even more deepen the kiss. Tay didn’t resist; he eagerly let him in and sucked on it.

That’s when it turned into something messy and desperate; both of them caught somewhere between restraint and surrender. Their tongues rubbed against each other, hands tangled in each other’s hair and sliding along their jaws, pulling closer as if trying to erase the space that still lingered between them.

To say that it was a dream come true for Tay wouldn’t be an overstatement; he’d practically been waiting for this moment since the day they met. It wasn’t even their first kiss; they’d done it before—multiple times—but only for work, and never like this. Never when it actually meant something.

Finally, New grinded on Tay’s lap once more, making him grunt and breaking their kiss. Tay’s hand instinctively found his hips, holding and caressing him there, feeling how real—how present—it all was. His fingers slid higher under New’s shirt, tracing the outline of his body, memorising every shiver that followed.

New threw him an impatient look, moaning slightly at his touch but not remaining passive. He didn’t resist Tay’s touch; instead, he brought his hands to help Tay undress him, sending his shirt flying across the room. Then, New guided Tay’s hands, sliding them even higher through his stomach, finally resting them on his chest. 

Tay could feel New’s heartbeat racing beneath his palm, proof that he wasn’t the only one trembling under the weight of this moment. New must’ve been nervous too, doing it with him, not sure how Tay would react to his touch, or if their hearts were aligned and wanted the same thing.

Taking New’s invitation, Tay slightly squeezed his chest, making him whimper from pleasure. He brought his thumb and flicked New’s nipple, trying to coax more alluring noises from him. Every sound that escaped New’s lips sent a rush through Tay’s veins. He felt dizzy, lost between what was real and what he’d been dreaming of for so, so long.

He leaned closer, catching New’s gaze once more, silently asking for permission. When New didn’t move away, Tay took it as an answer. Slowly, he lowered his head, his breath brushing against New’s skin before his lips finally met one of his nipples. He lingered there for a moment, then gave a slow, deliberate lick that made New shudder in his arms, before catching it gently between his lips and giving it a long suck.

New’s face was flushed, his previously milky white cheeks now painted with shades of pink and red, eyes hazy but alive—no longer distant, no longer guarded—and filled with desire. Tay couldn’t look away. He felt drawn in, hypnotised by every flicker of emotion crossing New’s features. He looked like he was enjoying himself, bringing one hand to his mouth, trying to muffle his whimpers. Whatever this was—whatever they had just stepped into—there was no going back now.

Tay wanted to savor every second of this, going as slow as possible to enjoy his limited time with New, but seeing him so eager to be devoured didn’t help with that. He left more wet kisses across New’s chest, making his head fall back just to gasp for air, which only gave Tay easier access to his neck. Tay went straight there, nibbling at the curve of it, making New mewl out loud.

If New hadn’t already been flushed all over, he definitely would’ve blushed from hearing his own shameless, pleasure-filled voice. Hearing that sound, Tay smiled against his neck and sucked harder in an attempt to leave a mark. When a reddish spot appeared, Tay gave it one last lick before claiming New’s lips again in a heated battle.

His hands wandered down to New’s ass, cupping both cheeks and giving them a firm squeeze. This time, New’s moan couldn’t escape his lips; it was immediately swallowed by Tay’s kiss. 

New’s hands finally found their place on Tay’s body. He hastily roamed over Tay’s chest, fumbling to get his shirt off but unwilling to break the kiss. When Tay finally pulled back to give him space, New scoffed like a kitten denied its prey. Still, he quickly stripped the shirt off and tossed it behind him, his hands finding Tay’s back once more and pulling him into another kiss.

Now it wasn’t just New growing impatient—Tay slightly grinded his hips up, straight into New’s butt, sending another wave of pleasure through both of them and making them groan. His fingers sneaked inside New’s briefs, pinching the sensitive skin on his thighs.

“Te—ungh…” New called out, pulling his lips away from Tay’s, but his voice broke off when Tay continued playing with his thighs. New stopped Tay’s hands with his own, and said with clear annoyance, “Can you fucking hurry? I don’t have the whole night for foreplay.”

“Are you this impatient?” Tay tried to tease New, just to buy himself a little more time before things got serious. But New only shot him a displeased look, clearly not in the mood for jokes.

“Sorry. It’s just…” He swallowed hard, the words he wanted to say sticking in his throat. He was embarrassed by what New might think of him, what if he decided to stop now after hearing it? 

“You know…” Tay ran a hand through his hair, brushing it to the side and exposing half his forehead. He darted his eyes away, humiliated, as if New was about to judge him. “I—”

“It’s your first time. Yeah, I know, Tay.” 

Tay turned his head toward New quickly. New’s face looked sympathetic, as if he truly understood Tay’s situation, and didn’t find it weird or unattractive. But then his usual playful look returned.

“I could tell.” 

So in the end, it was obvious to New that he was a virgin. That realization stung in Tay’s chest—was he really that bad at what he was doing, that New didn’t even need to ask?

“But don’t worry about it, Phi.” New brought one of his hands to Tay’s cheek, caressing it with his thumb and emphasizing the way he addressed him.

Phi. The word echoed in Tay’s mind. Not only had New finally called him that, but in a situation like this. Something inside Tay shifted, and he wasn’t sure whether it was for better or worse.

“This Nong will teach you everything.” Then New pushed him gently with his other hand, making Tay lie flat on his back. Seeing New—in his almost full prime, wearing nothing but briefs and sitting astride him—was probably the most jaw-dropping sight Tay had ever witnessed.

While Tay was still admiring New’s erotic body, New reached for that damn plastic bag that had been taunting him with its contents the whole time. He brought it closer and pulled out a small bottle of lube, which he then tossed at Tay. Startled, Tay caught it clumsily, almost dropping it onto the bed, then looked at New like a lost puppy, not knowing what he was supposed to do next.

“Don’t look at me like that. You do know what lube’s for.” New gave him a look, one brow raised, a hint of disappointment written across his face. 

Of course, Tay knew what it was for; he just wasn’t sure what New wanted him to do with it. His fingers trembled slightly as he fumbled with the cap, eyes darting between the bottle in his hands and New hovering over him.

“Help me out,” New murmured, his tone low but teasing, while slowly sliding his underwear down. Tay’s mind went blank immediately.

When New’s cook was finally freed, it sprang up instantly, pulling a soft, husky sound from between his lips. “Haa…” His eyelids fluttered half-closed, his expression melting into something close to bliss, as if every restraint had just fallen away.

And Tay—watching him from beneath, feeling every slight shift of his weight—wanted that same release. He needed it, aching under the press of New’s body against his.

“P’Te, use it already.” New crawled a little closer, reaching for Tay’s hand, the one still holding the bottle of lube. He let out a hushed laugh, seeing how tense Tay had gotten, awkwardly struggling with that damn cap he would probably curse later, along with himself.

New gently took the bottle from him, opened it with ease, and handed it back to Tay’s shaking hand. 

“Lesson number one,” he announced, raising one finger between their faces with a small smile. Then he pointed at the now open bottle in Tay’s grip and continued, “Pour a good amount of lube on your hand.”

Hearing the instruction, Tay started hastily squeezing the bottle, emptying far more than intended onto his other hand.

“Wait— not that much! Ugh…” New quickly stopped him, grabbing his wrist before he poured a third of the bottle out. Tay’s hand was already coated, slick and dripping, and he couldn’t help but let out a faint, embarrassed scoff when he realized what had happened.

He really needed to pull himself together before he fumbled not just with the bottle, but with New himself. 

Yet New only looked at him with those amused, but mushy eyes as if he’d just witnessed something endearing rather than clumsy. “It’s okay,” he said with a soothing voice. “It’ll just be… a little slippery.” 

New’s reassurance made Tay finally exhale all the air he’d been holding in. He cleared his mind; though his hands still trembled slightly, he was much less nervous after New’s words. Tay was fully focused on railing New, and nothing, not even himself, would stop him.

“Now, try to warm it up with your hands so it won’t… umm… freeze my insides.” New continued their “first lesson,” letting out a giggle at his own joke and starting to rub his palms together. Unconsciously, Tay began copying his movements, trying to warm the excessive amount of lube spread across his hands. 

It felt strange. He knew the basics; he knew what lube was for and how to use it. It wasn’t like he was completely clueless. Sure, Tay had never actually done that with anyone before, but he had… masturbated. More than once. And more often than he’d like to admit, it was New who came to his mind when he did. God, New was the only one who ever showed up in his imagination.

So why, then, was he listening to New’s every instruction so attentively, following his lead without hesitation or shame? He was the Phi here; he should’ve been the one in control.

“Okay. Lesson number two.” New pulled him out of his thoughts once more with his movements. He grabbed Tay’s hand and guided it between his legs, holding his gaze the entire time. The moment his hand reached lower, Tay slightly moved it up, brushing it over New’s erect penis, making him let out a loud moan, and in that moment, Tay could’ve sworn he also saw sparks flash in his eyes.

New hesitated for a second, but Tay didn’t. Acting on instinct, his hand continued its way down until it met New’s ass. 

New sucked on air and shyly looked to the side. “First, put one finger... inside me,” he said quietly, biting his lower lip, as if shame had finally caught up with him. “When I’m ready, I’ll tell you to add anoth—mhmm…”

But Tay wasn’t listening anymore. At that point, he was so consumed by the feeling of New beneath his touch that he could no longer think rationally. Before New could even finish his sentence, Tay slightly pushed his middle finger inside him.

At first, New tensed around Tay’s touch, his hole tightening in response, but as Tay slowly pushed further... and further... New began to relax, letting out uneven breaths. Tay kept moving, lost in a trance where only New’s faint whimpers existed. When he finally reached the point where he could go no further, reality snapped back to him.

“Hin… are you okay?” Tay asked, panic flickering in his chest as he quickly checked New’s expression, terrified that he might’ve hurt him by accident. New’s arms trembled slightly beneath his weight, whether from the overwhelming sensation or discomfort, Tay couldn’t tell. He hoped it wasn’t pain.

After a few long seconds, New slowly opened his eyes—eyes he’d kept shut tight since Tay had started. He looked up at Tay with a small pout and gave a faint nod. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Then, with that signature teasing tone, he added, “Thanks for asking, moron,” before letting out a soft snort. 

Tay’s guilt didn’t vanish, though. He felt awful for losing control like that, but how could he not, when New had practically offered himself up on a silver platter? The alcohol only fueled his boldness, clouding the restraint he usually had.

“Sorry… I’ll control myself more.”

“Don’t,” New whined back almost immediately, his voice soft but firm. “I’m really okay. So don’t restrain yourself.” He pleaded, steadying himself in place, and after those words, he started to move on his own, wordlessly signaling Tay to also start moving.

Feeling New’s slow but eager motions, Tay started working his finger too, massaging him from the inside in every direction. Then he gradually started sliding it from New’s hole and back in again, trying to match his rhythm. Each moan that escaped New’s lips brushed against Tay’s skin, making it even harder for him to hold back. He wanted more—needed to give more—to make New feel everything he possibly could.

Tay reached out with his free hand, fingers tracing a languid path along New’s thigh, until they rested on his asscheek, where he gave a light squeeze. He felt New shiver above him, struggling to hold his weight. 

Wanting to ease him, Tay leaned in, brushing soft, fleeting kisses along his arm until he reached his shoulder, where he lingered, leaving behind a faint hickey before he could stop himself. He knew he shouldn’t leave any marks on New’s body—he knew it would only cause problems later—but he couldn’t help it.

“Hin.” Tay uttered in a low voice, New’s nickname right into his ear.

“Hmm?” New answered with a wavering sound, shuddering again at the feeling of Tay’s touch. He lowered his head until their foreheads met, his heavy breath hot against Tay’s lips.

Feeling him so close, Tay puckered his lips slightly, asking for a kiss, and New, as expected, didn’t disappoint. He brushed his tongue lightly across Tay’s lips before leaning in, and soon their mouths found each other again. They moved together in a heated rhythm, catching breaths between soft, desperate pecks, lips meeting and parting in sync. Tay’s hand kept its pace, slow but precise, matching the rhythm of their kiss. He could tell, though, that New wouldn’t be able to hold on like this for long, so he finally pulled his hand away.

“Hin, let’s change positions.” Tay’s voice came out hushed, more gentle than he intended to. He could see how New’s arms trembled from the strain, pleasure making it harder for him to stay upright.

“Sure.” New purred, his voice faint, face dazed and flushed all the way to his ears.

Tay carefully shifted, helping New lie back on the bed. New fell onto the sheets with a soft thud, pulling Tay down with him. His leg hooked around Tay’s waist, drawing him closer until their hips met once again.

“P’Te… you can put in two now.”

Tay didn’t need to be told twice. Without waiting, he slowly began inserting two of his fingers. The familiar tightness made New twitch around him, his body instinctively tightening as a gasp escaped his lips, trying to adjust to something slightly bigger slipping inside.

When Tay finally reached full depth, he started moving his fingers, scissoring them gradually to stretch New further, preparing him for something even bigger. While working him open, Tay focused on finding it—the one spot that would make New cry out beneath his touch. But no matter how carefully he searched, he couldn’t quite locate it yet.

“Am I doing this right, Nong?” Tay asked, his tone soft but laced with a hint of teasing curiosity. He could see and hear how much New was feeling it, but he still wanted some kind of confirmation. And maybe… a bit of guidance. He wanted to know if he was getting close to his sensitive spot; if he could make New see stars with just his fingers.

“Yeah… ungh… you’re great,” New managed between faint whines, giving Tay the reassurance he craved. “But you need to go a little bit… mmmm… deeper.” His face twisted in pleasure.

Tay adjusted, thrusting his fingers in deeper, determined to find that spot. New brought one hand to his mouth, trying to stifle the sounds spilling from him, but the louder Tay made him moan, the less effective it became. 

Tay pressed in as far as he could—and then, suddenly, New jolted uncontrollably, his whole body twisting as if he was trying to escape the overwhelming wave of pleasure that crashed through him.

“Nghhh—” A loud cry tore from New’s throat. His trembling hand failed to muffle it, the other clutching the sheets tightly, grounding himself against the intensity.

“Wha—”

“Oh god, Te—” New groaned even louder, his hand flying to his hair and gripping it tightly. His eyes rolled back, chest heaving, and his back arching upward at the overwhelming sensation.

“Did I—” Tay started again, but was cut off once more when New pulled him closer by the leg that was swung over his hips.

“Ahhh, there…”New’s words broke between heavy breaths. His hand, which had been clutching the sheets, now clung to Tay’s forearm, the one holding him up. “Keep hitting there.” His nails dug into Tay’s skin, making Tay bite his lip.

New looked so debauched right now that Tay was on his last thread of restraint. Every twist of his body, every clench around his fingers, every moan that filled the room went straight to his head, but mostly his manhood. If he wasn’t already tipsy, he’d be drunk on just this sight, on the sounds spilling from New’s lips. 

New’s body looked like a blank canvas, lightly brushed with pink, dotted with reddish marks left by him. Tay wanted to cover that canvas with even more marks that would scream his name to anyone who dared to look at New.

Never stopping his fingers from working New’s sweet spot, Tay leaned closer, pressing a soft kiss to New’s hip. After giving it a small lick, he left a trail of kisses up along his stomach and chest, every now and then sucking on his skin, painting more marks on New’s yet unclaimed body. He reached his neck, brushing his teeth lightly over his collarbone before leaving another hickey that would last long enough for others to see.

Finally, New stopped him—his hand shot up to grab Tay’s chin, lifting it just enough to press their lips together in a deep kiss. It was desperate and rough, New pouring all his need into it, as if wordlessly telling Tay to devour him right there and then. Teeth clashed, New’s whimpers were swallowed by Tay, and their tongues tangled together as they’d always belonged to each other.

When New pulled away, leaving Tay panting, he licked his own lips and looked at him with hungry eyes. “Now, Te, add the third finger… haa.” His demand broke off into another groan as Tay hit that same sensitive spot.

Tay obeyed quickly, adding the third finger, sliding in smoothly—too smoothly for his liking. Something about it felt… off. Since the beginning, New had only made sounds of pleasure. He’d whined a little at first when Tay abruptly entered him, but even then, it went in almost effortlessly.

And now, with the third finger, New looked like he was enjoying every second of it. His moans said as much. Tay frowned slightly. He’d watched enough porn, read enough about first times to know it wasn’t supposed to go this easily.

His overthinking brain offered him only one possible answer: it wasn’t New’s first time, and he definitely wasn’t the only guy New had slept with.

That thought hit him like a punch—sharp and unexpected. Jealousy spread through his chest like a slow, burning plague, clouding his mind. The feeling was so overwhelming that he didn’t even stop himself before blurting out the question.

“I thought you’d be more… tight?” Tay said through clenched teeth, trying to make it sound like a joke rather than an accusation. But his voice came out harsher than he expected. He immediately scolded himself for bringing that up now, of all times.

“Are you implying something?” New shot back, a snort escaping his lips as he looked straight into Tay’s eyes, defiant, proud, and unbothered by Tay’s accusation.

“No… just curious why you’re so loose.” Tay retorted, trying to sound casual. He spread his three fingers, stretching New’s rim as far as he could, making New throw his head back onto the pillow, breaking their eye contact. “Did you… prepare yourself beforehand?”

After a few moments of squirming under Tay’s touch, New propped himself up on his elbows, eyes flashing. “Do you really think I’d come here—to a virgin—unprepared?”

“Oh, shut up. No need to be so snarky, asshole.” Tay rolled his eyes with irritation.

New smirked, clearly amused by Tay’s insult. “I’m not the one putting fingers in that ass hole,” he shot back, stressing the words just enough to make the double meaning obvious to Tay.

Tay blinked, momentarily thrown off, before coughing awkwardly.

“Well…” Tay started, forcing a half-smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I bet I’m not the first one, then.” His voice came out tight, more bitter than he’d meant. He was being petty, and he knew it. 

A small pang of guilt hit him immediately; he worried New might actually take it to heart. He bit his tongue before saying anything more, realizing he might’ve crossed that invisible line between their teasing and something sharper. 

For a moment, New said nothing. His expression didn’t change, but something flickered in his eyes. Something faint, fragile, and gone as soon as it appeared.

“Well, they aren’t the first ones,” New shot back, voice laced with mockery, his smirk spreading lazily across his flushed face. On the surface, it sounded like just another teasing comeback, nothing more than their usual banter. But to Tay, it hit differently. The curve of New’s lips looked too self-satisfied, too knowing, like he was reminding Tay of his place.

“That’s why I can tell—you could do better.”

It was probably meant as a joke, but Tay couldn’t laugh. The words hung between them, heavy and suggestive, and suddenly the room felt smaller. Maybe it was that coy look, or maybe it was Tay’s own insecurity, but he couldn’t shake the thought that New’s teasing might not be just teasing this time.

That’s why he lost it. Once more, he let himself get carried by his emotions, his instinct, and this time, anger too. He harshly pressed his fingers into New’s sweet spot. But only for a split second—just long enough to leave him aching for more, twisting in the sheets. Then Tay pulled his fingers out, leaving New’s hole clenching around the sudden absence.

“What are you—” New winced, ready to start an argument.

“Getting a condom, can’t you see?” Tay snapped fiercely as he reached for the once-forgotten plastic bag. He pulled out a box of condoms, took one out, and tossed the box aside so it landed next to New.

Tay wanted to look cool, arrogant even. He wanted to show New that he could do better, that he wasn’t inferior to whoever came before him. But, as always, his hands betrayed him.

When he tried to open the condom packet, it just wouldn’t budge, no matter how hard he struggled. Frustrated, he brought it to his mouth, biting into the wrapper and pulling hard. This time it tore open, his shaky fingers ripped it apart completely, sending the condom slipping out and landing on New’s abdomen.

Tay froze, stunned by his own incompetence. He squeezed his eyes shut, let out a slow sigh, and just waited for the inevitable.

“Wanted to look cool, huh?” New remarked, a faint laugh escaping his mouth, but muffled, like he was trying hard not to let Tay hear it.

When Tay reached for that damn condom, New stopped his hand.

“I'll do it.” New looked up at him, something genuine glinting in his eyes. He picked up the rubber from his stomach and sat up, moving closer to Tay.

Feeling New's closeness, Tay tensed up even more, his hands shaking under the pressure and his nerves. In one swift motion, he slid his boxers down, freeing his cock. When the cold air hit him, he squeezed his eyes shut and winced at the sensation. When Tay opened them, he saw New’s body flinch slightly, and his face looked taken aback.

“Nervous?” New asked out of nowhere, concern written on his face, slowly bringing his hand—with a condom still in it—towards Tay’s dick. But just as his hand hovered a few centimeters above it, he pulled back and lifted it to his mouth instead.

“Or… should I do it with my mouth?” he taunted, opening his lips and slipping the rubber between them. 

The image of New’s mouth slowly wrapping around him was so vivid, so tempting, that Tay could almost feel the warmth of New’s mouth. However, he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle that, not today and not like this.

“Stop—if you do that, I don’t think I'll last long.” 

New let out a muted snicker. “Yeah, you might not want to miss out on such an opportunity, hmm?”

Under New’s unflinching gaze, Tay felt his whole body burn with unbearable shame, but it wasn’t a bad kind. It was steeped in lust. He knew he had only one chance, and that’s why he wasn’t afraid of coming off as desperate in New’s eyes.

Tay grabbed New’s wrist and pulled him closer—close enough to whisper right into his ear—while guiding New’s hand back toward his erection.

“I thought you said you don’t have the whole night for foreplay?” he retorted snarkily. “Just put it on me already, N’Hin.”

Tay couldn’t see New’s reaction to his teasing, yet he felt that faint shudder that ran through New’s entire body.

Ignoring Tay’s tease, New, without hesitation, gently took Tay’s dick into one of his hands. He slid his thumb along its entire length, letting it linger at the tip. With a faint press, he brushed over it, collecting the precum gathered there before giving him three slow pumps.

Tay’s head fell back instantly, his hand following as his fingers tangled in his hair, digging into his scalp as if trying to ground himself in the sudden rush of pleasure.

“God—” slipped from between Tay’s lips.

“Feeling good?”

“Yeah… I was already on the edg—”

Before Tay could finish, New rolled the condom onto him in one smooth, precise motion, making Tay bite his tongue. Tay shot him a glare, his eyes burning with irritation.

“Payback for earlier.” New gave him one of his signature, innocent-looking grins.

Tay sighed while rolling his eyes, “Fun’s over,” he exclaimed. 

With one hand, he pushed New onto his back, pressing his built body into the mattress. But… just as he was about to move closer, he hesitated.

Taking in the sight of New—lying there, waiting for him like the most beautiful piece on display—and feeling that overwhelming want boiling in his chest and in his abdomen, Tay was suddenly struck by a realization: after what they were about to do, there would be no going back. This will change everything between them.

He didn’t know why that thought hit him again, now of all times. Maybe the alcohol was finally wearing off, or maybe it was his subconscious trying to pull him back from making the biggest mistake of his life.

Tay shook his head and looked into New’s eyes one last time, searching for even the smallest hint of reassurance.

As if sensing Tay’s uncertainty, New moved. He slowly opened his legs, his hands sliding along his own body in a seductive, almost hypnotizing motion, before settling on his ass. And then he leisurely spread his cheeks, showing himself fully to Tay. The gesture was unspoken but clear—an invitation, bold and unmistakable.

“The real fun is about to begin,” he muttered, his voice low and alluring, his eyes filled with nothing but desire and determination.

To Tay, New felt like some kind of temptation he couldn’t resist—whether a god or simply his greatest weakness. Even knowing this might ruin everything they had before tonight, he couldn’t bring himself to say no.

Tay dived into the deep end, moving onto all fours between New’s welcoming legs. His right hand traced small circles along one of New’s thighs—as if preparing him for what was about to come—while his left supported his weight beside New’s head. Before asking for permission, he leaned closer. Tay nudged New’s nose with his, then nuzzled into his cheek, stealing a quick peck. But before he could pull away, New cupped his face and deepened the kiss. It was brief, but enough to leave Tay craving more.

With shaky breath and a heavy heart, Tay was about to ask the most important question of the night.

However, before he could even open his mouth, New answered it, as if he already knew.

“Don’t ask, just do it. I’m ready.” His voice was steady, his eyes shimmering in the semidarkness of the room. He looked almost feline, beaming with pride and elegance. Like something that lured you in only to trap you when you got too close. And Tay, whether a docile little mouse or a starving dog, walked right into it.

So he finally did it, without any prolonging, without any hesitation, he grabbed his length and aligned it with New’s entrance. At first, he moved slowly, letting the sensation build, dragging along New’s hole just enough to make him shiver beneath him. Then, with his thumb, he slightly stretched it with a careful motion and began to push forward, slipping his tip inside.

“Nghh—” a muted whimper slipped from New.

Tay stilled for a moment, feeling the resistance; feeling New tense around him. It wasn’t as easy as he had imagined. Every small movement seemed to make New tighten further, and a flicker of panic sparked in Tay’s chest.

He had thought all the excessive preparation would make this smoother.

The deeper Tay tried to go, the more it showed on New’s face, in the way his jaw clenched, in the effort it took for him to stay quiet and not let out his painful cries. Tay immediately softened, his hand returning to New’s thigh, rubbing gently, grounding him. He leaned down, pressing light, fleeting kisses there, trying hard to ease the strain, even just a little.

“New…” Tay murmured, his voice softer now, edged with concern. “Relax and breathe. Phi's got you.”

New nodded faintly, drawing in a slow breath through clenched teeth before letting it out. His body gradually loosened under Tay’s touch, tension melting bit by bit. Tay followed that rhythm, moving carefully, easing forward little by little. His hand drifted from New’s thigh to his stomach, still soothing. Sweat gathered at his temples from the effort of holding himself back.

“I’m almost there, Hin...”

Following his words, Tay finally bottomed out, his hips settled fully against New. Tay folded forward, bracing himself, his forehead hovering over New’s rapidly rising chest.

They stayed like that for a moment, adjusting, letting everything settle, and waiting for New to acclimate to Tay’s presence inside him. Then Tay felt it, a movement beneath him. But not exactly what he expected.

A chuckle.

New’s shoulders shook slightly, his eyes forming into crescent moons, his lips curling as his laughter built, soft at first, then harder to contain. His hands loosened their grip on the sheets.

And Tay was just there, hovering over New, completely thrown off, not understanding what just got into New.

“Why are you laughing?” he asked, but the second the words left his mouth, New broke into full laughter, unable to hold it in as if Tay just said one of his best jokes.

Tay tensed at the sudden shift, his jaw tightening.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his nose, the sensation catching him off guard.

“New, stop laughing,” he added, voice firmer now, though there was a hint of disbelief in it.

“You’re literally squeezing me.” He slapped lightly on New's hips. 

But New couldn’t stop. And as absurd as it was, something about it started to get to Tay, too. A muffled snicker escaped him despite himself.

“What’s so funny?”

New tried to answer, but it took him a moment to stop himself.

“Easy,” he finally managed with the most painful look on his face, sweat running down his forehead, and his chest rising heavily all the time. But his eyes said something else; they were still prideful, never showing any weakness to Tay.

Tay frowned slightly, reaching up to smooth the crease between New’s brows, brushing away the sweat gathering there.

“That doesn’t look ‘easy’ to me.”

Neither of them spoke after that. They just stayed there, close, slowly breathing in sync, watching each other and waiting for the other to move. 

Until New suddenly bit his lips, shifted his leg around Tay’s hips, and pulled him closer with his hands on his shoulders.

“Now move,” he whined right into Tay’s ear.

Tay, yet again, was caught off guard by New’s abrupt change of mood, but he didn’t protest; he simply followed New’s command and started rocking his hips. At first, slowly, still holding himself back, afraid he might hurt New. But the more he thrust, the more he got the hang of it.

While moving, he kept watching New’s face, analyzing even the smallest changes, searching for any sign that could tell him how he was doing. And as if on cue, New parted his lips, soft gasps slipping out, followed by tranquil moans.

The sounds New was making sent his head spinning and pushed him to go faster. His hands roamed over New’s body, tracing his curves while he started pounding into him harder, losing more and more of his restraint. His lips found their way back to New’s collarbone, leaving behind scattered marks and soft bites.

“Am I doing this right?”

“Tay— ungh, deeper,” New moaned, trying to pull him closer with his leg hooked around his hips.

“Like this?” Tay adjusted his angle slightly, knowing he still hadn’t quite hit New’s sweet spot.

“Go a little slower… but deeper,” New purred, throwing him a glance before squeezing his eyes shut again. His head fell back, exposing his neck just as Tay finally found the right angle. “Mmmmngh…” he groaned.

“New… does it feel good?”

“Yeah… it feels so… fucking… good,” New replied between uneven howls, arching his back. “You’re amazing, P’Te.”

Tay felt like he was on cloud nine, finally being this close to New. Seeing him like this, vulnerable, reacting to him, feeling good because of him… it felt like the greatest reward. It filled his chest with a deep, overwhelming sense of pride.

Every time Tay hit his prostate, New clenched around him, sending waves of pleasure through his body. New was so warm—inside and out—that Tay felt like he was slowly losing himself, as if he was being pulled in, melting into him completely. A fleeting thought crossed his mind that nothing would ever feel as good as this moment.

“Te…” New called softly, reaching for Tay’s shoulders and pulling him closer.

With his face pressed near Tay’s shoulder, New began kissing him there, just like Tay had done before—leaving marks, claiming him in his own way. He moved between his shoulders and collarbones, licking, kissing, marking him, revealing a possessive side he usually kept hidden in front of Tay. And Tay couldn’t help but smile at the thought that New wanted to leave something of himself on him, too.

New’s hands, which had been roaming freely over Tay’s shoulders, slid down to his back. His fingers dug into Tay’s skin, gripping him with each thrust. At first, it was only a dull ache that made Tay let out low sounds, but then New used his nails, dragging them down his back and leaving long, heated streaks behind. Tay hissed, his body tensing as he dropped his head closer to New.

New took advantage of that, his eyes hazy as he delicately brushed his tongue along Tay’s Adam’s apple, making him shudder. He pressed a kiss there, only to follow it with something deeper—a suck—sending a sharp wave of sensation through Tay’s body.

At that point, Tay was the one struggling to breathe. New was driving him insane; he knew exactly where Tay was sensitive and wasn’t holding back. His head felt light, his thoughts blurring together, and he couldn’t tell if it was the overwhelming sensation or the alcohol finally catching up to him.

“Hin, if you keep doing that, I won’t last,” he managed, his voice strained, almost pleading.

“Then… come for me,” New shot back, not stopping for a second.

“You little—” Tay growled before grabbing one of New’s legs and draping it over his shoulder. He pulled out his dick completely and pushed back in with even more force, hitting the same spot again and making New cry out beneath him.

“Oh God—” New whimpered, his head falling back as his eyes rolled.

Tay quickened his pace, his hips pressing firmly against New, the room filling with the sounds of their eager bodies moving in sync. Their lips finally met again after all that teasing: messy, and so… so wet. Between each movement, they chased each other’s mouths, tugging, biting, and deepening the kiss as if it might be their last. And somewhere in the back of his mind, Tay feared that it really could be.

“I’m close,” Tay whispered against New’s lips.

New didn’t answer right away; he just looked at him, his eyes glassy, unfocused, but full of something intense. Tay could tell he was close too. Wanting to finish them off together, he reached down and wrapped his hand around New’s cock, jerking him off, while matching it with the rhythm of his own thrusts.

With every movement, Tay felt the tension coil tighter in his body, heat pooling low in his abdomen, ready to snap right inside New. Just when he thought he could hold on a little longer, New suddenly clenched around him—hard, desperate—and that was it.

Tay lost it completely, letting go, right inside New, his body giving in all at once. Even then, his hand didn’t stop. Still moving, still pushing New higher, not letting him fall behind. Finally, New followed, his body tensing as he came right against him, breath breaking into a soft, helpless sound.

“Tay—”

“New—”

Their voices cracked at the same time, their names spilling from their lips in unison.

As the high slowly crashed over him, Tay forced himself to look—really look—at New. To burn every detail into his memory. The flushed skin, the unfocused eyes, the way his chest rose and fell, and all the marks that Tay left on him.

And as he was reaching his hand towards New, with this immense hunger to kiss him once more—

everything went black.

 

⊹₊˚‧︵‿₊⊱·✶·⊰₊‿︵‧˚₊⊹

 

An intensely bright light shone directly into his tightly shut eyes, his face twisting at the unpleasant feeling. He immediately pulled the duvet over his head, trying to escape it, but as he did, a sharp sting pierced through his skull, drawing a hoarse groan from his lips. Tay couldn’t remember the last time his head had throbbed this badly, but it must’ve been over a year ago.

He massaged his temples, smacking his chapped lips, overwhelmed by an intense thirst, already imagining himself gulping down a glass of cold water. As he tried to gather himself enough to fully wake up, the memories of the previous night hit him all at once. Every image of New—in his lewdest form—came rushing back, but this time, they weren’t just fantasies. It all really happened. He hadn’t been dreaming.

And then, something felt off.

Completely off.

In one swift motion, Tay threw the duvet off his head, his eyes snapping open. His hand immediately flew to the other side of the bed, searching for the warmth of the person who was supposed to be lying beside him. But… there was nothing. No warmth, no trace, just cold, empty sheets.

New wasn’t there.

A cold sweat spread through his body. The mere thought that New might have treated him like a one-night stand stole the air from his lungs. The dull ache in his chest quickly sharpened, growing louder with every passing second. His mind began to spiral, throwing one explanation after another at him—reasons why New might’ve left. And yet, deep down in his heart, something told him that New wouldn’t do that to him. Tay clung to that feeling because it was the only thing he could do right now.

Trying to pull himself out of the spiral, Tay glanced at the pillow New was supposed to be sleeping on. The only thing lying there was the pack of hangover pills New had bought for him the night before. On the nightstand sat a half-empty bottle of lube, a pack of opened condoms—evidence that everything had truly happened—and… a glass of water.

So at least he cared.

Then… why did he leave him alone after everything they had done? Wasn’t Tay good enough? The questions came one after another, blurring together as Tay forgot even the most obvious details from the night before.

But more importantly… how was he supposed to look New—his “friend”—in the face after all of this… as if nothing had changed?