Chapter Text
It all started with a simple video edit going viral on twitter. The creator pointed out that Ilya Rozanov seemed to smile at his teammates a lot, making jokes with them, having the best time of his life. Those short clips were followed by clips of Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander sitting together, both wearing serious expressions, looking like they wanted to be anywhere else. Followed by that were paparazzi pictures showing them sitting together in a restaurant, looking uncomfortable, or walking along the streets without holding hands. Immediately, twitter started to come up with theories about an imminent break-up between the two hockey superstars. It was obvious they didn’t love each other anymore, their marriage wasn’t meant to be, Ilya Rozanov had grown tired of Shane Hollander, maybe Ilya had cheated on Shane.
Ilya Rozanov had a lot to say about that. Without restraints. On Twitter.
Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
I love my husband. I love him very much. Twitter is evil.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
In this house we will not tolerate Ilya Rozanov slander. I am very devout husband. Shane could tell you. But he is not active on this app.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
I am also not mad at Shane I am mad at refs. Was very bad game. League needs better refs.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Why does the internet think I do not love most important person in my life because I don’t smile all the time? I’m Russian. We don’t smile.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
I am not apologizing for speaking up. Russians do not blush or smile. Sometimes our lips tilt a little bit. Nothing more. Shane could attest to that. But he is not active on twitter, as I said.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Also sometimes I look angry because Shane fed our dog the wrong food. Happens. Then I’m angry. Is marriage.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
People will never understand dynamic between moya Lyubov and me. Is secret. Sacred.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Why do people even care? Is private thing between the best and second best hockey player in the league. We also don’t judge you guys from a few useless clips posed on twitter. Is not nice.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
I also want to say size of beard does not have anything to do with it. Soon are playoffs. You guys saw me with beard. Shane cannot grow one, but is okay, I can grow enough for both of us.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Do you guys know that a healthy marriage also contains arguing? And when we play Shane is often enraged because I am better player.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
To prove my absolute and complete loyalty to Shane: I went to Algonquin Provincial Park with Shane last Valentine’s day to watch loons. Was scary. Ultimate declaration of my love.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Shane has what people call a resting b**** face. He doesn’t look happy most of the time. I am only one seeing his very happy face.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
I can’t believe Ilya made me open this app just to apologize for him. I am sorry for my husband. I tried to take his phone away. He’s very fired up right now. Also, I don’t just smile when we’re at home.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
I can’t believe internet thinks I am bad husband. I am best husband in the world. You guys should see me in action.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
Ilya, please…
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
There is no such thing as cheating. I am not cheating on ice or in bed.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
Never mind. 🙄
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
There are a lot of friends of mine who know that I am most loyal husband on earth. More loyal than Shane.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
What does that even mean?????
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
You slept with Rose Landry.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
Stop saying things like that on the internet!!!!
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Moya Lyubov, the internet knew that already.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
Oh. My. God. Please, dear internet, excuse my utterly, totally, completely, incredibly IMMATURE husband. I am deeply sorry.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
those were a lot of adverbs. You’re exaggerating.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
😡😡😡
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
ALSO, just because we’re famous doesn’t mean our marriage doesn’t last.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
I think people know that, Ilya.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Hush, I have to tell people something.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
@all, how do I deactivate the account of my husband?
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
I would never choose a woman over Shane.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
BUT A MAN????!!!!!!
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Nooooo! I didn’t mean it like that! And no, this still doesn’t mean that Shane and I are breaking up. Better yet, we are expecting a child
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
WHAT
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
We are not. Never talked about this topic.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Is lie. We talk about it all the time.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
That doesn’t mean we are having a child.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Hypothetically. We could make one.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
No, Ilya, we CAN’T. We’re two men if you haven’t figured it out yet.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Never could I forget your yearning gay eyes.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
Maybe people are right and we should get a divorce.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
🥺🥺🥺
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer do you remember when I accidentally mixed dog food into our food?
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
If I remember? OF COURSE I DO!!! I couldn’t eat anything for three days because I was throwing up all the time.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Drama queen 😘. Wasn’t that bad.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
Even Anya tried it and deemed it inedible.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Anya knows what’s good.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
Oh, and I don’t?
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Sometimes. Your taste in men is good.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
Asshole.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Your asshole. I like your asshole.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
Ohmygod this is the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever said.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Oh, you think? I can do SO MUCH worse 😏
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
I don’t want to know.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
🥺
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
No, that doesn’t work for me.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
🥺🥺
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
Fuck off.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
🥺🥺🥺
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
No, I’m not giving in.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
I will never. I’ll fight until my last breath for my honor.
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
WHAT HONOR. AS OF TODAY, YOU DON’T SEEM TO HAVE ANY DECENT BONE IN YOUR BODY LEFT.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Shane, you’re breaking my heart. 💔
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
Sorry. Maybe that was a bit harsh.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Are you actually apologizing? 🥹
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
I regret it.
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Bood
@ZaneBoodramHockey
Just so you know, the whole world can watch you two argue on twitter. Literally everyone, in case you forgot where you are.
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
Shane looks like he might have forgotten for a second. This is very fun 😂😂😂
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
I don’t
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Ilya Rozanov
@Rozanov81
And now he’s blushing
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Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderHockeyPlayer
FUCK.
!K Retweets 432 Quote Tweets 20K Likes