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r/AmItheAsshole
YankeesFan1947
AITA for breaking a window with a baseball after my son deliberately moved out of the way?
Hi, first time posting on here, and I really need some advice. My son and daughter are over for the weekend, and my son does not like me at all. Actually, maybe he just straight up hates me. But I’m trying to make him not do that, so today I got him to play a nice game of catch with me.
I should probably mention that my son is attached to one of the most vicious tongues in existence. While playing this friendly game of catch, he proceeded to insult my intelligence, my financial situation, and my dad status. He also wore a Boston Red Sox hat, which was arguably the worst of his offences during this time.
We were both getting heated and throwing the ball pretty hard. The last time I threw it, though, he jumped out of the way so that it crashed into my window, which he knew full well was going to happen. Then he just smirked at me and went back inside the house. Also, he flipped his hat around so that I was forced to look at the Red Sox logo longer.
I really think he should pay for the window since he’s the reason it broke in the first place. AITA?
Comments↓
BattlefieldTurf
Sounds like you’re both kind of assholes. But, man, who isn’t with an eye-rolling teenager running around the house, am I right?
exoterminator
hey OP, you don’t say how old your son is here and i feel like that kind of changes the answer
YankeesFan1947 OP
He’s 15. I think.
exoterminator
he’s 15 YOU THINK??? um, care to explain why you don’t know your own son’s age??
YankeesFan1947 OP
It’s complicated. Look, are you gonna give me a verdict or not.
exoterminator
on what you posted? nah. on this? oh, YTA all the way, buddy.
YankeesFan1947 OP
>:(
udonethat
well, i do think kids should learn to take responsibility for their own actions. what do you mean by “throwing the ball pretty hard”, though?
YankeesFan1947 OP
Have you ever played baseball?
udonethat
no.
YankeesFan1947 OP
That’s horrifying. Well, the point is that he was only wincing a little.
udonethat
WTF? you were throwing a ball at your son hard enough that he was wincing??? i think i understand now why he jumped out of the way.
YTA.
KetteringFeels
YTA. The added info in the above comments really adds some damning context. Good on your son for knowing his own boundaries.
TitusAndronicass
YTA YTA YTA
YankeesFan1947 OP
I feel like people are willfully misunderstanding the issue here, which is that my son was specifically needling me. Also, not to put too fine a point on it, but he was throwing the ball pretty hard, too. It was a mutually consensually hard ball throwing game!
KetteringFeels
…okay. I’m just ignoring that last sentence.
I have no doubt that your son was needling you, as all teenagers his age do. But your job AS A PARENT is to rise above that. And if you can’t do that without wanting to physically lash out at him, then you shouldn’t engage at all, especially if he has the same aggressive tendencies that he’s probably picking up from you.
Also, I just wanted to note that you seem to imply that your kids aren’t always with you. “Over for the weekend” is the way you put it. Are you, by any chance, divorced?
YankeesFan1947 OP
No comment.
r/Parenting
YankeesFan1947
How to get daughter to stop screaming in the car?
Hopefully you guys are more helpful than AITA. My daughter screams and cries a lot in the car and it’s very annoying, not to mention that I can’t really drive while it’s happening. Any ideas on how to get this to stop?
Comments↓
InchesandMiles
Can you give an age for your daughter, please? Advice would obviously kind of vary based on that. Because older? Maybe we can help. If she’s a toddler or younger, though—sorry buddy, you’re going to have to just suck it up and deal with it. For like a while.
YankeesFan1947 OP
She’s 10.
InchesandMiles
Okay. And what’s the context for this behaviour? Because I’m pretty sure a 10 y/o isn’t screaming in a car for no reason.
YankeesFan1947 OP
Don’t know.
InchesandMiles
Helpful.
AdelaideShade76
look, if your daughter’s screaming is stressing you out this much (and god knows anyone would be), then maybe you should take the bus or get one of her other relatives to drive her for the foreseeable future. better you and her are safe than she’s distracting you while driving.
YankeesFan1947 OP
Can’t.
AdelaideShade76
okay. and why not?
YankeesFan1947 OP
I’m in a life or death situation right now.
AdelaideShade76
um. care to elaborate on that?
YankeesFan1947 OP
No.
RedSoxFan2004
Your story’s bizarre, dude. Your 10 y/o daughter is in a life or death situation, but you refuse to elaborate on what that is? Look, not saying you’re a troll, but you’re definitely a troll.
But let’s pretend for a moment that you’re not. You are in A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION. Children have a tendency to scream and cry in response to that kind of scenario. Deal with it.
Also, nice username ;)
YankeesFan1947 OP
Do NOT start with me on baseball. I have enough on my plate as it is.
RedSoxFan2004
Red Sox are looking good next season ;)
YankeesFan1947 OP
Die.
WicketRocksTT
Oof. This sounds so stressful, for both you and her! Have you found anything that helps to calm her down, or at least distract her in the moment?
YankeesFan1947 OP
Just some weird routine that my son does with his arms.
WicketRocksTT
Oh, that’s so sweet. I wish my kids got along like that! Maybe you should do what he does, then.
YankeesFan1947 OP
She doesn’t like it when I do it.
WicketRocksTT
Ah. Well, I guess you can just offload most of your parenting onto him from now on, haha.
(This is a joke, by the way. Don’t actually do this.)
r/stupidquestions
YankeesFan1947
This is dumb, right?
Quick question. If I was telling you about something that came “from somewhere else”, “like Europe” would be a pretty dumb answer in response, right??
Comments↓
Xenographed
Ha, probably. I mean a lot of stuff gets imported more from Asia these days.
YankeesFan1947 OP
NO XENOGRAPHED I DO NOT MEAN LIKE ASIA
BungalooBlues
okay, man, i give up. europe is a dumb response and so is asia. just what sort of response ARE you looking for?
YankeesFan1947 OP
You know. Somewhere. Else.
BungalooBlues
maybe you want to narrow that down just a little?
YankeesFan1947 OP
No.
r/Parenting
YankeesFan1947
Is it bad that I forgot about my daughter’s deadly peanut allergy?
Hi, I’m back, even if certain people (not naming names) were unhelpful last time.
So I was trying to make dinner for my two kids, when my daughter decided to inform me that she’s had a peanut allergy since birth. I literally do not ever remember being told about this. Is it bad that I’ve probably forgotten? I honestly do feel really bad about forgetting. Seems like all I’m doing these days is failing as a parent…
Comments↓
RedSoxFan2004
Unlike your last post, this one is perfectly mundane and believable.
The answer is yes, you’re a terrible parent.
YankeesFan1947 OP
One day I will build a satanic altar just to ensure that the Red Sox never win another World Series.
RedSoxFan2004
I’d say that’s over the top, but that’s honestly one of the tamer responses I’ve gotten from a Yankees fan.
TeflonFlop
hey, everyone forgets stuff about their kids, man! life runs us all ragged. how old is your daughter?
YankeesFan1947 OP
Thanks. She’s 10.
TeflonFlop
10? your child’s been on this earth for a decade and you forgot she has a peanut allergy FROM BIRTH?? jesus christ.
YankeesFan1947 OP
This is surprisingly not making me feel better.
TeflonFlop
sorry but damn.
WicketRocksTT
Oh my goodness, everyone has days like this as a parent, YankeesFan1947! All you can really do is pick yourself up, be kind to yourself, and resolve to do better tomorrow.
…might want to write your daughter’s allergy information in bold letters on all jars of peanut butter, though.
YankeesFan1947 OP
Thank you. And I will, if I can ever find a pen again.
WicketRocksTT
Yeah, always so hard to find things in the endless clutter! Tomorrow will be better, though.
YankeesFan1947 OP
I am seriously starting to doubt that. But thanks anyway.
r/Parenting
YankeesFan1947
How to get my son to not join the US military
My son wants to join the American military and fight against an impossible enemy. I would really like some advice on how to talk him out of it. Anything would be helpful, thanks.
Comments↓
RedSoxFan2004
Here we go again, guys. First your daughter is screaming in a “life or death situation” (which you so far have refused to elaborate on), then that completely normal post about forgetting your daughter’s allergies which is starting to feel more and more like a red herring, and now this where your son wants to join the US military to fight an “impossible enemy”? What’s that in reference to? The fact that they can’t find Osama Bin Laden???
YankeesFan1947 OP
You again. But I’m desperate. By impossible enemy, I mean an enemy that nobody can defeat ever. Can you help with that?
RedSoxFan2004
Yeah. My advice is that you should take a writing class so that you can write more believable stories.
YankeesFan1947 OP
Die. Again.
HyperWheelofDeath
AGE PLEASE.
YankeesFan1947 OP
15. I think.
HyperWheelofDeath
Okay, the good news is that there’s no way he can join the military. I don’t live in the US, but any military is going to be pretty thorough in vetting this crap. They’ll laugh at him, but then they’ll send him home.
YankeesFan1947 OP
I am in the middle of a situation where I’m worried they won’t care about his age and will let him join.
HyperWheelofDeath
What’s going on? I haven’t heard anything like this on the news.
YankeesFan1947 OP
All news is being blacked out by EMPs. It’s a miracle I even have this connection. I suppose I should be using it to contact my loved ones for a final time, but my kids are too troublesome to leave alone even for a second.
RedSoxFan2004
Oh, very believable. The Yankees should hire you to do PR.
YankeesFan1947 OP
And the Red Sox should hire you to be their resident asshole.
HyperWheelofDeath
…I’m just going to show myself out.
WicketRocksTT
Oh, I remember you! You’re the one with the daughter who couldn’t stop screaming and also had that peanut allergy you couldn’t remember. Hope you fixed all that. Is this the same brother you described in your first parenting post? If so, just remind him that his sister would be very upset if he left. Seems like they have a close bond.
YankeesFan1947 OP
I’ve tried that, but he still seems dead set on leaving. I’m not sure how much longer sibling guilt will keep him here.
WicketRocksTT
Well, then you should be honest and tell him how much you’ll be hurt if he leaves.
YankeesFan1947 OP
I feel like that would work even less, but thank you for the advice.
r/TheoreticalPhysics
YankeesFan1947
Could someone survive this blast?
Need an answer to this, and this was the closest subreddit I could find. Could a 15 y/o (I think) survive a blast that had huge flames more than three times my height, when he was closer to the blast than I was? Need an answer.
Comments↓
FlongeeBoard
Were you injured in this theoretical blast?
YankeesFan1947 OP
No.
FlongeeBoard
I think he could have survived. Why add the age, though? That’s a little weird.
YankeesFan1947 OP
Because all anyone ever seems to want to know on here is ages.
GeoDave648
“a 15 y/o” surviving a blast more than “three times” your height? that’s some suspiciously specific detail there. what the fuck have you done with this 15 y/o???
YankeesFan1947 OP
Believe me, he was perfectly capable of doing this all to himself.
GeoDave648
haha, entirely normal, non-worrying statement. where do you live exactly???
YankeesFan1947 OP
America.
GeoDave648
ah, i see. i retract all my previous concerns. yeah, i think he’s “theoretically” fine. just make sure to get him to see a doctor your insurance can afford at some point.
YankeesFan1947 OP
I’ll keep that in mind.
JollyBeesus
Guys, stop interacting with this guy!! I just went through his user profile. It’s all baseball memes and obscure arguments about mechanical fixes culminating in death threats UNTIL about a week ago when he started posting about throwing hardballs at his son that made said son “only winc[e] a little” and who is described as “15 I think”. Link if you don’t believe me. That’s the exact same description of the kid described up here, what the fuck??
GeoDave648
i take everything i said back. did you kill your son, op???
YankeesFan1947 OP
Thank you for your time, everyone. This has been very enlightening.
r/AmItheAsshole
YankeesFan1947
AITA for killing a guy who was going to tip off the enemy to where me and my daughter are hiding out?
I honestly don’t expect this to go better than the last time I was on here, but here it goes. My daughter and I have been hiding out in a basement to stay safe from an impossible enemy. Our host was very nice, but unfortunately also unhinged. It was becoming increasingly clear that he was going to give away our position to the enemy. So I killed him.
I honestly do feel really bad about this. My daughter seems perfectly fine with it, so at least there’s that. Thinking it over, I really can’t see anything else I could have done to keep us safe, but the guilt still plagues me at night. AITA?
Comments↓
Retocentifade
WTF. That is all.
YankeesFan1947 OP
That’s not really helpful.
Retocentifade
I’m sorry, what could POSSIBLY be helpful after a confession like this?
YankeesFan1947 OP
Not this.
SlytherinOpal
Okay, this has GOT to be a troll, because who in their right mind would honestly admit to murder on here???
Retocentifade
This guy apparently, lmao.
Nah, I mean, there was this one guy a while back who did the same thing. Then he deleted. Never found out if he was a troll or if the authorities caught up with him. Or if he’s this guy.
YankeesFan1947 OP
Being prosecuted for murder is the least of my worries right now.
SlytherinOpal
THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES WHERE DO YOU LIVE DUDE
YankeesFan1947 OP
America
SlytherinOpal
Ah. Okay, nvm.
RedSoxFan2004
This guy is just a troll. Please stop giving him attention. He posted a whole bunch of unbelievable crap on r/Parenting like this, too. At this point I think he’s just waiting to see what gets him kicked off. Probably this, honestly.
YankeesFan1947 OP
This isn’t even the parenting subreddit. Why are you following me around?
RedSoxFan2004
Because like you, I can also hop subreddits, you freak. Now you’re saying you committed murder? How desperate for attention are you??
YankeesFan1947 OP
…you don’t want me to answer that.
JollyBeesus
Guys, I have some bad news. I really don’t think this guy is a troll. I think he might have actually murdered somebody. Also maybe his son??? He wrote some strange rambling post in r/TheoreticalPhysics a few days ago asking if a 15 y/o could survive an explosion, and when I did some digging I came across another post he put here on r/AITA about a week ago, which was about throwing a ball hard enough to hurt his son. Here are the links if you don’t believe me:
r/TheoreticalPhysics post
r/AITA post
This guy is Messed Up. Forget about getting him booted off of Reddit. I think maybe we need to call the cops.
YankeesFan1947 OP
You are blowing this WAY out of proportion. As I have already tried to explain to everybody, the game of catch with my son was a mutually consensually hard hitting game. And the theoretical post was…theoretical.
RedSoxFan2004
Jesus Christ, I knew there was something messed up about you, but I never expected this. Most Yankees fans would be ashamed of you. I think.
KetteringFeels
Just saw this now. I thought there was something weird about this guy when he first posted. Maybe…
One sec.
SlytherinOpal
YankeesFan1947 JUST admitted to me that he lives in America (see above). Which doesn’t really narrow it down. Weirdly enough, I haven’t heard too much activity down there lately. Oh, well.
Retocentifade
Anyone notice this guy has suddenly gone weirdly quiet??
r/Parenting
YankeesFan1947
URGENT how to make daughter stop being catatonic
Don’t have a lot of time. Anyone got any good ideas on how to make my 10 y/o daughter stop being catatonic???
Comments↓
RedSoxFan2004
Well, I’ll give you this. You never disappoint.
YankeesFan1947 OP
I don’t have time for this. I need to use a grenade in a second.
RedSoxFan2004
Just don’t kill anyone else.
YankeesFan1947 OP
Sorry, but I’m killing a bastard who’s had this a LONG TIME coming. And I think I’m going to enjoy it :)
RedSoxFan2004
I know this is the parenting subreddit, and I shouldn’t swear, but you really are one sick fuck, Yankees Fan.
WicketRocksTT
Oh, I remember you! How are you doing? How’s that son of yours doing?
Personally, my advice would be to give your daughter space if she doesn’t feel like talking.
YankeesFan1947 OP
This is the opposite of helpful, but thanks anyway. As for my son, I can only pray to God that he’s still alive. But I will admit that not having to listen to his constant whining has made it easier to concentrate.
WicketRocksTT
Don’t I know that feeling! Kids always feel like they’ll be the death of us!
YankeesFan1947 OP
Yeah. Sometimes literally. One sec.
TowerofFate
I take a break from this subreddit for ONE WEEK and come back to THIS. What the hell is going on??
RedSoxFan2004
You don’t want to know, buddy.
Update 11/23: Hey, guys. I just wanted everyone to know that things are a lot better for me now. My daughter and I are safe in Boston with her mom, and it turns out that my son did manage to survive and make his way back to us.
That alien invasion was really stressful, I’m not going to lie, but I’m just glad everyone’s safe and sound now.
Here’s a picture of my family in Boston if anyone’s interested.
Comments↓
Retocentifade
!!! So only now you decide to tell us that you were IN THE MIDDLE of an alien invasion?? That…explains a lot, actually. Maybe get better at communicating with people. Otherwise, I’m glad you and your family are safe.
YankeesFan1947 OP
In my defense, I was under a lot of stress.
Retocentifade
How hard is it to post “aliens are attacking me, please send help”??
YankeesFan1947 OP
Hard. My phone keeps autocorrecting “alien” to “anal”.
Retocentifade
Oh, shit. Yeah, I guess it’s for the best that you didn’t send that.
KetteringFeels
Honestly, this is a perfect example of why communication is so key for every relationship. All I can say is that I hope you’ve learned something about how to communicate with others and your children going forward.
YankeesFan1947 OP
Um? No? I was in the middle of an alien invasion?
Also, somehow I feel like you and my ex-wife would get along.
KetteringFeels
How do you know I’m NOT your ex-wife?
YankeesFan1947 OP
…oh, God.
JollyBeesus
Seconding both above. Dude, you straight up sounded like a murderer earlier, haha. Glad that this was all just a giant misunderstanding and that you and your family are safe.
YankeesFan1947 OP
Thanks. Yeah, I only ever murdered one person.
JollyBeesus
Oh.
RedSoxFan2004
Still feel like you might be a troll, but I will admit that the photo above coupled with the fact that I couldn’t contact the entirety of the United States during this time period makes me believe you against my better judgement. Glad you and your family are safe. Hopefully your kids aren’t scarred for life by the aliens (or your parenting).
YankeesFan1947 OP
? You don’t live in America? I thought you were a Red Sox fan. Half the reason I had the strength to continue on after being caged as food by that damned tripod was because I thought you were in Boston and I could hunt you down.
RedSoxFan2004
Lmao. I live in Canada.
YankeesFan1947 OP
…motherfucker.
WicketRocksTT
Oh, you poor thing, going through an alien invasion! Hope you and your kids are all right after that terrible ordeal. <3
YankeesFan1947 OP
Thank you, we’re doing good. Also, your advice was the closest to approaching helpful, so thank you for that.
WicketRocksTT
You’re quite welcome!
Also, I just took a peek at your photo, and oh my. Has anyone ever told you that you’re the spitting image of Tom Cruise???
YankeesFan1947 OP
Once or twice.