Chapter Text
Yoonchae never grew up with so many girls from different backgrounds. In Korea, everyone had the same mindset. You didn’t think about how the world outside of Korea is, especially with standards. The standards in the U.S. were different than Yoonchae expected.
Growing up, she was taught that boys like girls and girls like boys. Never girls like girls or boys like boys. Why? Well because if you liked someone from the same sex, you were called a sinner. Yoonchae didn’t have an opinion on this, she just thought that people deserve to love who they want to love.
She never thought about having a boyfriend, or having a crush on anyone. At school, her friends would talk about the boys who looked the cutest, declaring that’s their new crush. They would ask Yoonchae what she thought. She never had a response.
Now at 17, with no experience whatsoever, she has finally come to terms that she has a crush, and it wasn’t how she planned it to be. Her dad always told her, find a husband to settle down with, her mom wanted grandkids who would play with her, but instead, Yoonchae was crushing on her bandmate, Megan.
–
It started out of nowhere, it wasn’t until recently that Yoonchae realized her feelings for Megan started to show.
Megan was on the living room couch with Lara, watching tv together. Lara was laughing at something Megan said. This gave Yoonchae a deep feeling in her stomach. She couldn’t describe it though. It wasn’t a stomachache type of feeling, more of a why am I feeling this?
She stared at them from the kitchen, hearing their laughs, wishing it was her who made Megan laugh the way Megan made Lara laugh.
“Yoonchip! Are you okay?” Yoonchae hears Sophia call her from behind. She didn’t know anyone else was with her. She flinched from the sudden voice, it creeped up on her unknowing.
“Hmm?” Yoonchae said, not turning her back towards Sophia yet. She was still watching Megan.
“I asked if you’re alright, you’re never this quiet.” Classical Sophia who played the role as leader too well. Showing concern for her maknae.
“I’m..” There was hesitation in her voice.
Sophia can’t know that I’m feeling like this.
“I’m okay.” was all she said. Sophia looked at her with worry washing all over her face. Yoonchae has never acted like this, not even when she was upset when she lost her favorite hoodie.
“I’m here if you need someone to talk to, okay? Don’t ever be afraid to ask.” Sophia said before walking past her. Yoonchae never looked at Sophia, her gaze was kept at Megan.
She admired her whisker dimples, the way they showed without even trying. How her hair looked, the pink made her look even more gorgeous than she ever did before. Most of all, her..
Yoonchae couldn’t describe this feeling, it was foreign to her.
In Korea, she would be bashed and called a sinner if they found out how she felt.
She had to make a plan, a plan to stop these feelings.
She didn’t know how to feel about herself. Yoonchae was lost in her thoughts, unable to stop all the questions in her head.
What if I’m never allowed back in the country?
What would my parents think about me?
My friends?
Megan.
The first thought that scared her enough that she had to look down at her hands. She couldn’t recognize herself. Who would’ve thought that Jeung Yoonchae would be-
She didn’t have a name to call this.
There was no way she could put a label to this yet, she wasn’t sure if these feelings were true or not. She couldn’t tell if this was just in her head, if she was craving for the attention that Megan gave her.
Megan was different from everyone else. She talked to Yoonchae like a normal person, not like she was a baby. Megan asked questions and didn’t have any filter. She knew how to comfort and cheer Yoonchae up. She was everything Yoonchae had dreamed about.
But
Megan is a girl. Not a boy.
Yoonchae can’t have feelings like this. No, this was wrong.
Yoonchae finally looked up, she locked eyes with Dani, who was now entering the living room. She saw the worry creep up on her face, the same way it did for Sophia. The silence from Dani alarmed Megan and Lara because every time Dani entered a room, she made sure to make an announcement.
They traced who Dani was looking at, Yoonchae.
She felt the stares of everyone now on her. She wanted to rip her skin off and scream, she wanted to be alone. Instead, she walked out of the kitchen and went straight to her room, the room Sophia and her share. The room where Sophia is now.
“Wait! Yoonchae-” Megan said before seeing Yoonchae run up the stairs and slam the door.
Everyone looked at each other, with shock and worry in their face. Manon wasn’t home, she was out recording her lines for their upcoming song. If she were here, maybe Yoonchae would’ve listened.
“So, what just happened?” Lara asked, with a concerned tone coming from her throat. Everyone turned their heads to look at Dani, she looked back at them, with a blank expression.
“I don’t even know. I stared at her and she had this look on her face, she was staring at Megan then locked eyes with me.” Dani scratched her arm, unsure of what else to say. She scrunched her eyebrows, wondering what the other two girls in the room would say next. Dani turned her head to Megan, who had a face she couldn’t read.
“I-I have to go.” Megan suddenly got up and ran out the house. Lara started laughing. Full on loud laughter that seemed like it could mimic Sophia's.
“Oh my gosh this house is crazy.” Lara continued laughing, she got up and went to her room.
Daniela stood there. Confused.
–
Megan was running, she wasn’t athletic but she was running. The wind hit her hair, pushing back her bangs. Her head had so many thoughts racing within them. Wondering why Yoonchae was acting so suspicious, wondering why she had an expression on her face when Daniela looked up at her.
Why was she looking at me? Did I do something wrong?
Thoughts raced in her mind, but she was running ahead of them. The smell of the leaves outside her nostrils, this strong scent. Yoonchae would’ve loved this smell, it would’ve reminded her of Seoul.
Oh Yoonchae
Yoonchae, her best friend, the girl she wants ki-
Wait.
Megan, what are you thinking?
Her running suddenly comes to a stop.
Her thoughts became clear.
Why was she thinking about kissing Yoonchae?
Was it obvious? Is that why she is pulling away from her?
Megan thought about what she should do. Should she text her?
She pulled out her phone she thankfully brought with her.
Yoonchip 💗
11:42
Megan : hi yoonchae, sorry if I did something wrong.
Megan: i dont know what I did but please let me know
Megan : im here if you need anything 💗
read at 11:50
Megan stared at her phone, sad. Yoonchae always replied to her quickly, never leaving a minute to spare. But leaving Megan on read was unusual. It wasn’t what she expected. Megan had clearly done something to upset Yoonchae, something horrible. It was just a matter of time until she broke.