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Sasuke remained standing.
The headband with the scarred metal on his forehead came loose with the sound of tearing fabric, falling slowly to the ground with a metallic clang. His dark, weary eyes were fixed on the serene face before him.
They had fought to the point of exhaustion; one fell, but the other remained standing.
The sound of rushing water drowned out the silence that had taken hold of the place; the air smelled of a powerful storm brewing.
“Naruto…” Sasuke said, remembering the last words Naruto had spoken, with the pain and emotion he confessed audible in every syllable. His eyes were filled with moisture and suffering, and a fear of the loneliness he would face from now on.
“I…”
The initial soft drizzle turned into a downpour, overflowing from the clouds just as Sasuke’s feelings overflowed from his heart.
He lifted his head slowly, the raindrops hitting his cheeks and eyelashes. For a moment, Sasuke thought the heavens were weeping for his pain.
But then, a sharp sting lashed his left shoulder, causing his vision to blur and darken before clearing just as quickly. When he realized what was happening, his knees hit the ground with a heavy thud, tearing the skin. But it was nothing, just one more small wound.
When his vision focused, his face was mere inches from Naruto’s. Raindrops slid down his temples and nose, finally landing on Naruto’s now-grimy hair. Sasuke’s black hair brushed against the birthmarks on the cheeks of the unconscious boy lying on the hard ground.
He didn't know exactly how much time passed; he simply memorized every detail of his features. The wheat-colored skin. The slight curve at the tip of his nose. The golden eyelashes, as thick, long, and shimmering as fine threads of gold. The parted lips, battered and cut after a grueling battle.
The words replayed over and over again. It was a deserved torture, Sasuke thought; he deserved to remember with clarity the pain he had caused to the only person brave enough to form a bond with him.
“I adore you,” Naruto had said, his face full of plea.
He pleaded for his words to be understood. For their meaning to be grasped. Of course, they were. Sasuke knew that those words were deeper, that they were only the surface of an infinite ocean. Naruto was a chatterbox who never shut his mouth, but to express himself like that, to speak such an intimate truth, was, for him, like surrendering his most fragile core and hoping to be protected rather than destroyed.
But Sasuke didn't know how to care for it. Naruto knew that too, and yet, he gave it to him anyway. He showed his most fragile side, willing to be broken, knowing full well that he and he alone would have to be the one to rebuild himself.
Sasuke’s hands trembled; the rain continued to slide down his face, and his eyes stung. The water kept hitting Naruto’s face, and it was impossible to tell if it was tears or simply rain.
Sasuke could not contain himself. With trembling hands, he snatched the headband from Naruto’s forehead, leaving him, like himself, like Naruto, as just a boy, not a shinobi of the Leaf, standing before Sasuke, just a boy, not a rogue ninja of the Leaf.
Perhaps everything would have been different, and much better, if it had been that way.
His lips trembled, and then he leaned in for a one-sided kiss that only he would ever know of. Naruto’s lips were rough against his own, with the same texture; he also felt a slight sting, but he did not pull away.
It was softer than the first kiss Naruto had given him at the academy, more intimate and less shameful. So intimate that only one person witnessed it, felt it, tasted it. The taste of blood invaded Sasuke's mouth, and he didn't know if it was his own or if it came from Naruto’s wounded lips.
A faint sob escaped from between their joined lips, but no one could say who had made the sound.
Sasuke pulled away, rested his forehead against Naruto’s, and whispered his final words, spitting them out through the pain that tightened his throat, suffocating him.
“I… do too. I always will.”
It was futile and unfair. After all, Naruto would never know he had received an answer. But Sasuke felt it wasn't necessary. Even if he felt the same, he couldn't stay.
Because Naruto was not the first priority in his life. And it was horrible, but it was true. So, Sasuke did not deserve Naruto's pure feelings.
And Sasuke was like a fake pearl; he had lost his luster after being filed down for too long.
“Let me go for now,” he thought, his forehead still pressed against Naruto’s. “You will have to die by my hand another time as well.”
He stood up with difficulty, placing his headband next to Naruto’s. One scarred, the other intact. Then, he turned his back and walked away in the opposite direction from where Naruto lay, without looking back one last time.
He felt exhausted, taking every step with difficulty. His breath, short and labored, intensified the pain in his head; each breath felt as if his skull were being struck with force, trying to shatter it. His body ached as if he had been cut in two, perhaps as if half of his soul and his entire being had stayed behind with Naruto.
He wanted to turn back, to repent, to forget everything and live a quiet life without regrets together, but then he remembered his mother’s smile, his father’s pride, and the hate sown by his brother, and he hardened his heart.
He had to become strong. He had to become strong, to fill himself with hatred just as Itachi had said. To be powerful enough to defeat his invincible brother and take revenge for having ruined his life. That was how it had to be.
He felt a final trace of Naruto’s chakra, indicating he had awakened. He turned his head in that direction, but he could only see a vast forest.
Deep down, he hoped Naruto would stay strong.