Work Text:
Kanade woke up slowly, feeling unrested. Her eyes still felt so heavy; a stinging feeling had settled itself behind them, the kind you get after crying for hours on end. Her body felt like it weighed a ton, or like she’d gone on a long run the previous day, and her limbs were still recovering. There was a comfortable warmth encompassing her body, as well as a weight resting most noticeably on her hips and shoulders, and… what was that thumping in her ear?
Properly opening their eyes now, Kanade took in their surroundings. They were very clearly in their bed. Despite the curtains being shut, there was sunlight peeking in through the gaps, providing a bit of a light source. Kanade noticed very quickly that: they were not alone in their bed. Their body was pressed up to somebody else's, which must’ve been where that warmth was coming from. Looking up, Kanade saw a face, still engulfed by sleep, framed by a brown bob messied by sleep. Ena’s mouth was slightly open, soft snores escaping with each slow breath.
Kanade’s sleep-addled brain racked itself to find out why Ena was in her bed, cuddling her; until she remembered.
Kanade didn’t remember much of the previous night, only key details. She remembered… being frustrated with the song she was composing, it wasn’t right. It wasn’t going to save anybody. She remembered rearranging the same verse 5 times before burying her head in her hands out of frustration. She remembered accidentally peeking at the box cutter on her desk. Everything between then and calling Ena at 3 in the morning with blood staining her arms, thighs and shorts was all a blur.
After that, all Kanade can recall is Ena running to his house, panicking before calming herself down upon seeing Kanade’s state and comforting him as she cleaned the wounds gently.
Ah. That would explain the physical exhaustion too.
Kanade laid their head back down upon remembering what happened. A feeling of dread clouding their senses. They were ashamed that Ena saw them like that. Vulnerable. Weak. Pathetic beyond comprehension. They also felt guilty. They made Ena worry, made her run to their house at 3 in the morning in winter, made her clean up their stupid mess. She should’ve said no, should’ve stayed home ,should’ve gone home once she saw Kanade was fine. Ena should’ve just let Kanade finish themself off and—
“Mmmmh…”
Kanade jumped slightly after being disturbed from her thoughts. She glanced up again at Ena, who was now beginning to wake up. The artist yawned, more mumbles escaping her lips as she rubbed her eyes.
Ena looked down at Kanade, who quickly evaded eye contact, and began to gently stroke Kanade’s hair, her long nails scratching softly at his scalp. Kanade closed his eyes in comfort.
“Morning, K.” Ena said, her voice low and raspy with sleep. She yawned again before continuing, her fingers still slowly working their way through Kanade’s knotted hair, “How’re you feeling?”
Kanade thought about the question briefly. He didn’t feel great by any means, but was bad the right word? He didn’t think so. Besides, she’d probably worry more if he said that, so Kanade simply shrugged his shoulders in response.
Ena frowned a little at the response, kissing the crown of Kanade’s head lightly. “It’s alright. How about we go make breakfast?”
Kanade wasn’t really hungry, but accepted anyway, not wanting to worry her further, “Okay.”
-
In Kanade’s kitchen, Ena had set up the rice cooker and was waiting on her phone while Kanade brushed her teeth in the bathroom.
Ena couldn’t stop thinking about the previous night, that horrifying phone call she got at such a time, the state she found Kanade in, the amount of tears Kanade cried was more than Ena had ever thought they were capable of. Kanade seemed to be somewhat better that morning, not jumping for joy by any means, but it was still an improvement.
While standing idly, Ena picked at her nails. She knew she shouldn’t, but the worry pooling in her stomach was unbearable. Her mind was making up crazy scenarios, terrifying what-ifs and too many possibilities. What if Kanade hadn’t called? What if Kanade wasn’t brushing her teeth right then? What if she was doing it again? What if this time Ena was too late?
Ena’s spiral was short-lived when she heard light footsteps from the other side of the room. Her head whipped to the side to observe Kanade, only to feel relief upon seeing that they looked the same they did when they went in. Ena’s face softened and her tense muscles relaxed.
“You okay?” Ena asked without thinking, smacking herself internally. She asked that less than 10 minutes ago, and as far as she could tell, Kanade was feeling the same as they did before going into the bathroom.
Kanade closed the distance between herself and Ena, “Mmh.” Kanade mumbled, hiding her face in Ena’s shoulder.
Ena huffed a laugh, wrapping her arms around Kanade, “Fair enough.” she replied, her fingers returning to Kanade’s hair as they did earlier. Now that she was more awake, Ena took notice of how greasy Kanade’s hair felt and looked, not to mention all the knots that were in there. And, as much as Ena loved him… he did smell just a little bit.
After a bit of thinking, Ena decided she’d bite the bullet.
“Kanade?”
“Hm?”
“Ah— Well… I noticed your hair is a bit greasy, so do you think it’d be okay if I helped you wash it when we’re done eating?”
Kanade blinked in confusion, clearly they hadn’t expected that. Honestly, they felt bad that Ena was offering that after all she’d already done for them, and maybe they were also a little embarrassed. “You don’t have to do all of that… you’ve done enough for me already, haven’t you?”
Ena shook her head, “It’s your choice in the end, but I want to do it. I want to take care of you Kanade.”
Kanade was tempted, it did sound nice… and Ena was offering too…
“Okay…”
-
The two finished their meal, Kanade taking a little longer than Ena; which the latter didn't exactly mind. She'd give him all the time in the world if she could.
They were in Kanade's bathroom, the bath faucet running with the pair standing beside the tub. Ena reached her hand to take off Kanade's jacket, before stopping herself with her hand hovering by the hem. She looked at Kanade, silently asking their permission, before Kanade slowly nodded, allowing Ena to help them undress. If Kanade was almost staring at the unwrapped gauze on the floor with specs of brown-ish red littered all over it, neither of them said anything.
Kanade soon after stepped into the bath, warm water engulfing their small figure. Ena waited a second until Kanade was settled, before picking up a jug from the ground and scooping up some bath water, her free hand making its way to Kanade's chin.
“Here, tilt your head up for me?” she said gently, her soft hand guiding Kanade's head to lift up. Kanade obliged and closed her eyes as warm water began to trickle down her skin, it tickled her neck a little, it felt good.
When Kanade's hair was fully wet, Ena picked up a shampoo bottle, flicking the lid open and squeezing a generous amount onto her hand, rubbing her hands together and moving to Kanade's head. Ena massaged Kanade's scalp in circular motions, ensuring she'd make good coverage. A comfortable silence loomed over them until…
“...Do they still hurt?”
“Huh?” Kanade opened her eyes, slightly confused before she looked at her body. Right… “Oh. Uhm… it stings a little at most, I think.”
Ena hummed at the response. “Okay.” she said, washing the shampoo residue off her hands, reaching again for the jug and scooping up more water.
As Ena rinsed the shampoo from Kanade's hair, they felt a pang of guilt in their heart. Just as Ena went to repeat the shampoo process, Kanade spoke again.
“I'm sorry.”
Ena stopped what she was doing as she looked at Kanade's face, which was trying to evade her gaze, “Why are you sorry, love?” she asked, her voice sounding hurt and confused as her hands slowly went to massage Kanade's scalp again.
Kanade's heart broke a little more, tears were trying to escape, but they held them back. “Aren't you mad?” they whispered, unsure if Ena even heard.
The artist's brows furrowed, her mouth turning into a frown. “Why on Earth would I be mad, Kanade?”
“Be— because I caused you so much trouble last night, and even now you're still taking care of me and I don't get it. You should've gone home or just not even come at all…” the composer’s voice sounded so hurt, cracking a little at the end.
Ena stopped what she was doing again, quickly rinsing her hands and taking Kanade's from under the water.
“Kanade, that's nonsense. I'm your girlfriend, and even if I weren't, I still love and care about you to no end. I will always come to you when you need me. I couldn't care less where or when, you mean everything to me sweetheart. I wish you believed that a little more.”
Kanade didn't bother holding back her tears anymore, she let them silently slip down her cheeks. Ena took one of her hands and wiped Kanade's cheeks, which didn't really do much apart from make Kanade's face more wet, but it's the thought that counts.
Ena quickly rinsed the shampoo from Kanade's hair again, deciding it probably wasn't a good idea to keep it in there for much longer.
The artist finished washing Kanade's hair, letting them wash their own body before wrapping them up in a towel and taking them back to their bedroom.
In Kanade's room, Ena sat on the bed with Kanade sitting on a pillow on the floor in front of it. Ena started going through Kanade's long hair with a brush, making sure to get rid of any knots. She then towel dried it until it was damp, which led her to begin using a hair dryer, ensuring Kanade had ear-plugs in first in order to muffle the loud noise.
A few minutes went by until Kanade's hair was dry. Ena turned off the dryer and went back through with a brush, gently untangling the knots that returned while she was trying it. She made sure to be gentler whenever the brush tugged, whispering soft, sweet apologies to Kanade when it did.
Kanade sat quietly, she hadn't really spoken since what Ena said in the bathroom. She was tired and still felt incredibly guilty.
“All done.” Ena said softly, planting a kiss on the crown of Kanade's head. Kanade hummed and turned around and rested her sleepy head on Ena's legs, she couldn't muster the energy to actually get up on her own.
“Thank you, Ena…” the composer mumbled, to which Ena smiled and began stroking his now soft hair again, as she did that morning.
“It's nothing, really.” Ena replied, “Come on, why don't you actually get in your bed?”
The artist slowly coaxed Kanade to stand up and led them to lay down, putting a blanket on them before continuing to rake her nails through their hair. Kanade's eyes fell closed quickly, no matter how much they tried to keep them open.
“Just rest now,” Ena whispered, “I'll still be here after. I promise you.”
With another kiss to the forehead, Kanade finally gave in.