Chapter Text
Hayden's rookie season is off to a great start. He’s one of three contenders to win rookie of the year. He meets the two other players and realizes that he might not be winning. Both are hardworking, incredibly talented, and truthfully a lot more competitive than he is. They're also complete opposites of one another.
There's Ilya Rozanov, all the way from Russia. He’s intense, insanely fast, and big on chirping. His attitude is what makes him stand out, the way he acts like he's already won, like there's no way he won't. He's a tough opponent and generally an asshole. Like many other players, Hayden doesn't particularly like him.
Shane Hollander, like himself, is also from Canada. He understands the game in a way most don't, every part of his life is laser focused on the sport, and he does interviews like he personally invented media training. Hayden is dead set on becoming his friend.
“There’s this amazing Italian restaurant in the city,” Hayden says, trying his best to keep up a conversation with the guy he's determined to befriend before someone else does, “I’m taking Jack’ on a date there this weekend,” he says. Shane looks at him then. “Date?” he asks, like the word is unfamiliar in his mouth. “Yeah, you know, a romantic hangout, sorta” he says, and Shane rolls his eyes with a huff. “I know what a date is,” he smiles and nudges Hayden. Oh, he was in. “Okay, I wasn't sure,” he holds his palms up in surrender.
“How about you?” he asks, “You seeing anyone?” He turns his head to look at Shane, who sputters and flushes and denies like he's got something to hide. Hayden looks at him closer, tries reading his facial expressions. Shane busies himself with getting dressed and hurries out almost before he's done packing his bag.
It’s strange, but Shane is awkard, so he lets it be. He fights tooth and nail to befriend him. Shane's not overly social, but Hayden manages to worm his way into his circle. Over time, as they get closer, he doesn't hear anything about Shane's love life, even as he tells about his own. He can't wait to introduce his best friend to his girlfriend. Maybe then Shane would open up. Maybe he’d confirm Hayden's suspicions that he got himself a girl somewhere along the season, no matter how insistently Shane denies his relationship with Boston Lily being anything serious.
But it’s not until much later that he hears anything. And it's nothing like what he expects either.
–
Hayden nods, after overcoming the shock that this is his best friend and Rozanov. “Okay, you're gay with each other," he recaps, and Shane winces like it pains him to hear it out loud, "That's great. I'm all for it. Good for you guys.” really, it is good for them. He thinks Shane could've probably picked someone better, all things considered. Though, Shane eats, lives, and breathes hockey, so it makes sense he'd go for the guy most likely to match him.
He looks up at them, eyebrows raised and lips parted like he’s trying to say something. He closes his mouth and blinks. “Why are you telling me this?” he asks, looking between them. It doesn’t seem like either of them particularly wants to share this info with him, and he can’t think of any reasonable reason to do so. They glance at each other shortly, Rozanov keeps his face neutral as usual, Shane with intense eyes and a forming frown. “Well, because..” Shane flounders, “It's a secret.”
Hayden nods, “Not so secret if you're telling me about it, is it?” to which Shane shuts his eyes in the way Hayden knows means he's frustrated or on edge. Rozanov turns his head slightly to the side, looking at him as if he's sizing him up. The strained awkwardness of the situation suddenly feels a lot like Hayden is a cornered prey animal and Shane is teaching his dog to kill. Or something else, preferably something that makes him sound less scared of Rozanov. Whatever.
He looks at the two hockey players in front of him. The three of them had ended up spending some time together as a result of being the draft picks for rookie of the year at the beginning of their careers. Hayden and Shane had become best friends, thanks to being on the same team and a lot of effort from Hayden's side. It makes sense that Shane and Rozanov would also spend some time together. Apparently enough time to become… boyfriends? That's cool with him.
Both of them look nervous, in each of their ways. “You will not tell anyone, yes?” Rozanov asks, and he shakes his head. "Of course not,” he answers. The idea of them dating had thrown him off for a second, but he was confident that he'd gotten his facial expression pretty much under control. “You absolutely cannot tell anyone,” Shane says, all intense stare and parted lips and panic. “I won't, Shane, I promise,” Hayden says, because this was big. Big, big. Shane had never opened up like this before.
Rozanov puts a steady hand on Shane's shoulder and it's like his nervous system stops vibrating. Maybe Rozanov isn't so bad, if he'd built this relationship with Shane. But it doesn't make Hayden any less confused.
“Wait, if it's secret because you're worried about how people will react, then why are you telling me?” he asks. They look at each other and then to Hayden, who feels suspiciously like he'd missed a piece of information. “‘Cause we’re rookies together? and friends?” He directs the last bit mostly to Shane, he really has no idea where he and Rozanov stand yet. He could maybe think they were slowly becoming friends, but definitely not good enough friends to admit they are.
Shane huffs and Ilya frowns slightly. “Because we thought you’d understand,” Shane says. Hayden shrugs halfheartedly. He supposes he understands that it's scary, why they don't want people to know. He also knows Shane is anxious, and definitely overthinking it. “Because you are gay,” Rozanov adds, not helpfully, judging by the stare that Shane now turns to him instead of Hayden.
He just about breaks his jaw off its hinges with the speed at which it falls to the floor. Metaphorically. His poker face is really being tested today.
“I’m not.. gay,” he says, “Or anything.” Where did they get that from? He has a girlfriend! That he talks about regularly. Shane should absolutely know this, and it’s almost offensive that he somehow doesn’t. He reminds them of this. Rozanov nods and waves his hand, “Yes, yes, like I have Jane and he has Lily,” he says, and a light is slowly turning on in the back of Hayden's mind. Suddenly he feels like he knows entirely too much about his rookie-opponents.
The room is silent for a moment. Shane plops down in a chair, face buried in his hands. “I, uh, you mean Jackie?” Hayden asks, just to make sure. Rozanov nods, with this stupid expression to communicate that he thinks Hayden is an idiot. “Yeah, Jackie's a girl,” he says slowly, and Shane's head snaps up. “What?” he asks, so quiet that Hayden wouldn't have caught it if not for the way the air seems to have been sucked out of the room.
Hayden looks between the two of them. Shane, horrified, in the chair by the wall. Rozanov, suddenly tense, leaning against the dresser.
Okay, he’s pretty sure he understands what's happening now at least. “Jackie isn’t a nickname,” he clarifies, “You guys thought Jackie was a guy? That I'm openly gay?” and as he is asking, it just makes him more confused. If no one cared that Hayden had a boyfriend, why would they care if they dated? He asks them this too.
They don't reply. Hayden sits at the edge of the bed and waits. Rozanov's face hardens, like he's bracing for a different reaction than the one they've already gotten. “You said you were taking Jack on a date,” Shane states, and now that Hayden hears the words said back to him, yeah, he can hear it too. “That was…” he starts, “An unfortunate nickname,” he lands on.
Shane chokes out a huff, nostrils flaring and eyes blinking like he's hoping he'll see something else than Hayden explaining this to him. “You’ve said that many times!” he argues, forcing the words out. Hayden glances at Rozanov, who looks at Shane with worry. “I’ve called her my girlfriend,” Hayden says, because he talks about Jackie all the time around Shane. He should know. “I thought,” Shane says, cutting himself off in frustration. Then he's not looking at Hayden anymore, eyes staring at nothing in particular as he retreats into himself. Fuck.
“You are not gay?” Rozanov asks, looking back to him. Hayden slowly shakes his head once. “I've got nothing against it! I think it's great that you felt like you could tell me,” he says, trying to salvage any piece of this that he can. Rozanov's lip pulls and he hums, “Well, yes, but you are not gay, so,” he says. He gets more serious when he continues, “You tell no one,” he demands.
With the way Shane's distant yet intense eyes are filled to the brim with tears, and the tough-guy facade Rozanov has perfected, there is no way Hayden would tell anyone. “Of course not,” he says, “I won’t tell anyone, I promise,” and it must be sincere enough, because Rozanov nods. “Shane, I promise, I don’t mind and I won’t tell,” he continues, angling himself to look at Shane better.
Shane blinks away the tears, swallows and nods stiffly. From his peripheral vision, Hayden can feel Rozanov's glare. “You’re my best friend, Shane, I don't care if you're gay, or straight, or whatever.” Shane keeps nodding, coming more back to it with every word. “Okay,” he replies quietly.
He’s not entirely convinced that Shane is okay, but they must’ve believed he’d keep their secret, because after a few more affirmations that he’s not against gay people, they leave. Shane sniffs once more and does his best to school his face into something less emotional. It’s not his best work. It’s probably the worst cover-up expression Hayden has seen him do. Rozanov’s hand grips the back of his neck tightly, only letting it drop when Shane opens the door.
He looks back at Hayden as Shane steps out. His eyes are sharp, but the uncertainty comes out with the way they search his face. Hayden gives him a smile that feels a whole lot less comforting that he’d meant for it to be. “Seriously, I won’t say anything,” he repeats. Rozanov nods, bringing a hand up to his face to wipe his nose, “Bye, Pike.” He says, and closes the door behind himself.