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The world was dark and quiet. His aching, frail body floated in that darkness, like he’d floated in many a river on the warm summer days of his youth. His eyes were closed; there was nothing to see here anyway, not like when he was at sea. Then he had made a point to keep them well open, despite the strain, as his courtiers sent him off into that last desperate voyage to the End of the World. He watched his people waving goodbye, the seagulls flying overhead, the sun glistening on the water, the endless blue.
When he could no longer keep them open, the gentle sound of the water breaking against the ship’s hull and the creaking sound of the wooden floor comforted him; they reminded him of that first voyage to the border of this world with Aslan’s Country. He found himself reminiscing about things half forgotten: the many chess matches between himself and the Pevensies, the duel between Eustace and Reepicheep, the late nights drinking with the crew and sweaty afternoons at the oars with them. But some things Caspian could never forget, even if he wanted to, even in his old age.
Edmund and him, fighting on the deck while the crew cheered them on, the shock the blade sent down his arm whenever steel met steel, and that final stroke that left only their locked swords keeping their faces from touching. Edmund and him, lying side by side on the sandy shore, looking for Narnian constellations in the night sky. Edmund and him, sitting in the same hammock, whispering, so as not to wake Eustace, about that mysterious other world from where the Pevensies came from, about the Golden Age, and about his own reign in Narnia. Edmund and him, preparing for the battle on Dark Island, the confession that caught in his throat when he was so close to finally saying it. Edmund and him, at the End of the World, that last hug that felt like a dagger in his heart, that last painful look before the waves engulfed the Pevensies, washing them out of Narnia forever. Edmund and him. Edmund and him. Edmund and him. If only he could have seen him one last time...
A faint sound like that of a single drop falling in a still pool awoke him from his slumber. It was strange, just thinking about those days from the prime of his life made him feel a bit stronger. Suddenly, his joints didn’t ache as much. And now...what was this feeling? It was as if strength was returning to his arms and legs again; he flexed his muscles, tentatively at first, then more confidently. How could it be possible? He could feel his skin tightening, the wrinkles around his eyes fading away.
A golden light, blinding after so much darkness, enveloped everything around him. When his eyes adjusted, Caspian saw he truly was floating down a river or, well, a stream, and sitting on the bank a little further ahead he saw Aslan Himself watching over him. So he had made it! He was in Aslan’s Country after all! Caspian leaped out of the stream and rushed to the Great Lion, flung his arms as far as they would go around His neck, and buried his face in the Lion’s soft mane, smiling so that his cheeks were already beginning to hurt (but it was a good pain). He gave Aslan the strong kisses of a King, and Aslan gave him the wild (and wet) kisses of a Lion. It was when he turned right that he saw two people standing beside him, a boy and a girl. Why, it was Eustace! He didn’t understand what was going on, but still he let out a loud laughter, filled with the joy of seeing an old companion.
“Eustace!” He called. “Eustace Scrubb! How long has it been? How you’ve grown!”
Eustace had a confused expression on his face, a mix of wonder and fear. His eyes were red, as if he'd been crying. “C-Caspian!”, he stammered. The boy took a few uncertain steps towards him then stopped “How...?” He looked at Aslan. “I say! Hasn’t he...”
“Died?” suggested the Lion. “Yes, young one. But death needn't mean the end,” He added in a soft voice. “Now, won’t you introduce our other friend?” He looked at the timid girl who stood watching the exchange.
“Yes. Yes, certainly,” Eustace collected himself. “Caspian, this is Jill Pole, a friend from...uh, school. From my world.”
Then they proceeded to explain why they were sent to Narnia, and tell all about their adventures with the marsh-wiggle Puddleglum on the way to find and rescue the lost prince Rilian. Caspian was horrified to learn about the near invasion of his country by the Witch and her troops, and thanked the children profusely for saving Narnia and his son’s life. Though the conversation took some time, for the children recounted everything with great detail, the Sun didn’t seem to move from its spot in the Sky, and neither were they hungry nor thirsty even after so much talk; such was the magic of Aslan’s Country. But now that the tale was over, Aslan got to His feet and shook His mane.
“My dears,” He said “It is time that you return to your own world.”
Jill and Eustace looked anxiously at each other, neither of them wanted to leave just yet, not when they had been having such a pleasant time, after all the difficulties of their journey.
“Aslan,” Jill said in a humble voice, “Will we ever come back to your Country?”
“Yes, dear one,” the Lion’s voice was deep. “Though when you do, you will have come to stay. Narnia, however, may have need of you yet. Keep your eyes open.”
Jill smiled, and dared to hope. As the children, now reassured, got up, Caspian gathered his courage.
“Aslan, Sir! If I may, I’ve always wished to see their world, and if possible there’s someone I...” Aslan looked at him knowingly, with eyes of molten gold. Caspian averted his gaze. “...Is it wrong of me?” he added in a faint voice.
“You cannot want wrong things anymore, son of Adam; not in my Country,” the Lion smiled “And you shall see their world, for ten minutes of their time. It’s enough to set things right.” Caspian smiled and bowed his head gratefully.
Aslan padded silently ahead of them, His powerful golden paws leaving no marks on the fluffy green grass. The humans followed, and they walked through the woods for a while. No one said anything, they just admired the beauty of Aslan’s Country. Presently, they came before a particularly big tree, its lower body intertwined, like the one the Pevensies and the Telmarines went through after Caspian’s coronation. And much like that time, when Aslan breathed into it, the tree twisted and a passage opened where first its body had been entangled. Looking through it, you could only see the grass and sky and trees of the woods, but Caspian knew that if you crossed it, you would be transported somewhere else entirely.
“A tree?!” scoffed Eustace. “How are we supposed to go back to England through a tree?” he added, with barely contained annoyance; it made the boy look like the skeptical brat he was when first he came to Narnia, and Caspian chuckled. Aslan explained how the tree worked to the children, when they understood they all said their farewells and shook hands. Jill hugged Aslan tightly but never cried, and she and Eustace knelt before Him and He licked their foreheads. Then the three of them went through the gap in the tree.
Jill and Eustace went back to Experiment House, of course, but Caspian found himself in a small dark room. The only light came from the moon, but Caspian could see he stood in a soberly furnished bedroom. A couple of neatly made beds, a fireplace, a writing table and a tall bookcase. He ran his fingers lightly through the titles: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, The Law of Nations, Logical Chess, he smiled to himself feeling sure of who this room belonged to. That was when the door creaked and opened; he'd been so focused on the books that he didn’t hear the approaching footsteps.
In came a dark haired youth, his white skin shining in the moonlight. He was looking at the books in his hands until he lifted his gaze and saw Caspian standing there. Immediately, his strength failed and the sound of the books falling to the ground echoed terribly through the otherwise silent house, then came a voice, “Edmund! Is everything alright?” The young man blinked several times, recovering from the shock.
“Y-Yes,” he stammered. “Everything is fine, Professor Kirke,” he said without taking his eyes off the other man. “I just...stumbled.”
“Well, be more careful, son. You’re not carrying potatoes, you know?” The voice faded away as the professor retreated, mumbling to himself.
Edmund closed the door of the chamber, his hand visibly shaking. “Caspian,” he said at last. It was as if a spell had been broken. Before his head could catch up with his feet, Caspian lunged forward. Edmund met him halfway, and the impact of their embrace knocked the air out of Caspian’s lungs. For a moment they stood locked as tight as the tightest knot on the Dawn Treader, tighter. Edmund’s fingers grabbed Caspian’s long hair locks so hard it actually hurt a bit, Caspians’ arms wrapped just as firmly around Edmund’s waist. Caspian buried his head in his lovers’ neck and inhaled the smell he had come to know so well during their voyage, and missed so much ever after.
Finally they pulled apart just enough to study each other. Caspian didn't know how many years had passed in Edmund's world, but it couldn't have been very many. He still retained the same youthful glow he displayed the last time he'd been in Narnia. Caspian was torn between being glad he was holding the same Ed that haunted his memory, and being a little disappointed he wouldn't get to see Edmund as he would've been in the Golden Age. But that didn't matter, not when he had Edmund in his arms again after so many years! Caspian brushed back Edmund's black hair, it was slightly longer than last time, and let his hand cup his beloved's cheek, now rosy and warm to the touch.
Edmund’s eyes had always been so much darker than that of the other Pevensies. They were uncommonly sharp, but there was also playfulness there, and a light shone in them that Caspian had never seen in any other pair, look for it though he may. He was thinking about that, when Edmund asked in a voice hoarse with emotion, “It's really you! What are you doing here? How did you..?”
“Aslan sent me. I live in His Country now.” Edmund's jaw tightened, as he grasped what the words meant. “We don’t have much time, Ed. I came because I need to tell you something.”
But even then he could not get the words out. That was the most agonizing part: words weren’t enough to express how profoundly and madly he loved him. Through countless long and lonely nights Caspian had wept bitterly, whispering to his pillow all he wish he had told Edmund that fateful day. But no matter how much he tried, it never felt like he could do his feelings justice. Still, he swore if he ever saw Edmund again, he would bare his soul to him. Caspian took a deep breath and averted his gaze, if he looked in his eyes now he would never be able to do it.
“Edmund, I…that day…we...”
Edmund cupped his hands around Caspian’s face and rose it to level with his own, his thumb wiping out the silver tears that fell swiftly down his cheeks. “I know, Caspian. Just like that day before Dark Island, I know. Me too.”
Edmund’s own eyes were misty now, and his thumbs traced the line of Caspian’s lips, their faces almost touching. Caspian could feel Edmund’s heart racing as clearly as he felt his own heart pounding painfully against his ribcage. Their lips brushed against one another, almost chastely. Then Edmund’s tongue licked against his lips, velvety soft, and Caspian lost all sense of time.
After what felt both like eons and mere seconds, Caspian began to feel colder and colder. They reluctantly broke their embrace and Caspian saw horror stamped on his beloved's face at how pale, no, translucent, Caspian was becoming. It was plain that their time was up. Edmund grabbed his arms, wide eyed. “No,” he whispered, and then louder, “No!”
Caspian could see fear and rage stirring in Edmund, but he was at peace. He had lived his whole life not knowing if Edmund reciprocated his feelings, cursing his cowardice. Now Caspian knew, no matter how long he had to wait for Edmund to join him, they would be reunited once more, and then no one would ever tear them apart again. Edmund still had so much to live for. Caspian wished him all the joy in the world.
“It’s all right, Ed,” he reassured him. “I’ll be waiting for you in Aslan’s Country. We’ll meet again, my King. I promise.”
And with a smile, Caspian the Seafarer vanished, leaving Edmund the Just safe behind, in his own world...at least for a few more years.