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This wasn’t the first time Caitlyn found herself in a place like this. Not the first time she held her breath as she pushed open the door to another bar down a grimy street. The only difference was the location, the city. The scent of sweat, alcohol, and cigarette smoke was the same and so was the shitty music.
Zaun was a lot different then Piltover and Ionia. Dirtier, louder, full of what many people in her past would call “delinquents”. Sleeping in her car had not usually been an issue. Difficult, yes, but not unsafe. She’d seen more than one mugging in her few days in the city, plus a few deals that might not just be for drugs, and she was hoping to find a place to stay and perhaps a job as soon as she could.
Someone pointed her to a bar downtown. One that apparently “welcomed all kinds of people.” She wasn’t exactly sure what they had meant by that, but she figured she would check out the place anyway.
So here Caitlyn was, walking into a new place, at a new time. A fresh start. Just like she had in Ionia. Just like she always wanted when she lived in Piltover. She still wished she could be with her family there, but they didn't know her. They only knew someone who didn’t exist anymore.
Everything about this bar was the same as the gay bars she had been in before. It wasn’t insanely busy, but then they never were this early in the day anyway. The dim lighting was the same. The sticky floors were the same. Everything was the same—except the butch standing behind the counter.
“Howdy!” she said with a grin and bright eyes. “What can I do you for?”
“I, uh.”
“Can I get you something to drink?” The butch cocked her head, making her pink dyed hair fall into her face.
“No—no I don't have the money for that,” Caitlyn said. It wasn’t entirely true but she didn’t want to drink right now, anyway.
“How about I get you a coke, on the house.” She flashed that handsome smile again. Caitlyn felt her face flush red.
“Oh, alright.”
The butch smiled even wider and ducked behind the counter, fetching a chilled can of coke and spun it in her fingers. She wiggled her eyebrows at Caitlyn, before cracking the can open and pouring it over into a glass.
“Quite the theatrics,” Caitlyn said as she sipped on her drink. “Are you this enthusiastic with all your customers?”
“Only the pretty ones.” she teased, and leaned against the bar, very obviously resting her arms in a way that flexed her tattooed biceps. “I'm Vi, by the way. Does the pretty girl have a name?”
Caitlyn bit her lip. “Caitlyn.”
“Well, Caitlyn, if it’s not for a drink, what are you here for?”
“I was told this was a good place to find a place to stay, and perhaps a job.” Caitlyn said as she stared into her glass. “I'm new here and well, I can't sleep in my car forever—”
“In your car!?” Vi’s jaw dropped. “Absolutely not. We have a spare couch you can stay on until you find a better place.”
She and Vi became very close very quickly. Caitlyn couldn’t remember the last time she had such a connection with someone. Vi helped her find a place to stay not far from the bar, and a job serving tables. Her sister and her father were very kind, very protective people. Her father, Vander, was a big burly man, the type that didn't take shit from strangers but was incredibly soft with his family. It wasn't long before Caitlyn felt like she had a home again.
And Vi, well… she was the most beautiful, most handsome person Caitlyn had ever met. Both in looks and in spirit. Caitlyn quickly learned that Vi mirrored her father, gentle with those she was close with and fiercely loyal. She’d socked a man in the face once when he had groped Caitlyn while she was serving him, and thrown him into the street.
Caitlyn, embarrassingly, found that incredibly attractive. So much so that she had to rush to the bathroom to take care of herself before anyone noticed.
Vi could tell there was something wrong that day.
“Why don't we watch a movie?” she said, whiping down her station near the end of both of their shifts. “The video store is just up the road, and Dad and Powder are away for the weekend. We can get snacks and decompress.”
This wasn’t the first time Vi had offered something like this, nor was it the first time Caitlyn accepted.
The Blockbuster was on one of Zaun's shader streets, and Caitlyn was always quite tense when they walked there. But Vi always kept a firm hand on her back, and somehow that made everything ok.
“You are gonna love this,” Vi said as she pushed the VHS into the VCR. The TV flickered blue and static as Vi flipped through the channels until it stopped on a clip of a Tyrannosaurus Rex roaring at some very helpless looking people. The sound boomed from Vi’s massive speakers and Caitlyn was quick to cover her ears. “Shit—Sorry! God I hate when people don't bother to rewind these things.”
Vi got it situated, and soon they were on the couch together with a bowl of popcorn and their chosen favorite treat in their laps — m&ms for Caitlyn, skittles for Vi. Vi mentioned a DVD player that Powder was saving for and Caitlyn scoffed at the idea. They were so expensive. It wasn’t like VHS would just go away.
The movie Vi picked was fascinating. Caitlyn had heard of Jurassic Park before, and wanted to see it, but she was frightened at the idea of going to the theater alone. And Maddie was always hell bent on hiding her.
And while the movie itself was good, there were several inconsistencies that bothered her. The velociraptors were far too big, and, worst of all, they had completely botched the dilophosaurus. Not only was the size completely off, but the frills and venom?
“None of this is true to reality,” Caitlyn scoffed. “The dilophosaurus did not possess venom.”
She should know. Not only was the dilophosaurus her favorite dinosaur, but it was the one she studied for her PHD in paleontology.
Vi chuckled and smiled fondly at her, and that's when Caitlyn realized Vi hadn’t been watching the movie at all.
“You’re so smart, Caity,” Vi crooned. “Smart and pretty.”
And when Caitlyn realized Vi was leaning in closer, and closer. Her eyes fixated on Caitlyn’s lips.
She jumped back, flinching away from Vi.
“I'm sorry—” Vi pushed herself to the other end of the couch, her face red and eyes downturned. “Sorry—fuck.”
Caitlyn couldn’t help but stare at her, at Vi. At her sweet, courageous, beautifully handsome Vi. Gentle, caring, Vi was everything.
And if it wasn't for one thing.
Caitlyn’s heart dropped into her stomach. She loved Vi, Vi was a lovely friend and would make an incredible partner. It wasn't her fault Caitlyn was… different.
“No, Vi. I'm sorry,” Caitlyn said, her voice was beginning to tremble. “I've not been completely truthful with you.”
“What are you talking about?” Vi said, her voice was low and soft. Caitlyn could see her fidgeting with her hands uncomfortably in her lap. Sweet thing, she didn’t know none of this was her fault.
“I—I,” Caitlyn started, she could feel the tears brimming in her eyes already. She didn’t want this to be like Maddie again, she didn’t want to be hidden. “I'm not—I wasn't—”
“Hey, hey,” Vi interrupted before Caitlyn could say it. Her face was still red with embarrassment, but she carried the same calming energy she always did. “Take a breath, Caitlyn. It's just me.”
Caitlyn tried, she really did. But her calm, controlled breath was anything but, and soon her body was wracked with sobs and she was shaking in Vi’s arms. Vi held her so tightly, like the steady rock she always was.
“It's just me,” she whispered. “Everything is going to be alright.”
“It’s not,” Caitlyn sobbed, her hands tightly gripping Vi’s shirt. “It never is when people find out—when they find out I'm not—”
Her breakdown was teetering on a panic attack, and that's when Vi stopped her in her place. She helped her center herself, helped her breathe. She promised it wasn't something they needed to talk about right now, and she assured her that it wouldn't change anything between them.
“It always does, Vi,” Caitlyn sniffled, her face still buried against Vi’s shoulder. “Everyone always says it won't but it always does.”
Vi gasped, loud enough that it startled Caitlyn.
“Are you the Zodiac killer!?” Vi said, wide eyed and clutched her imaginary pearls.
“Excuse me?” Caitlyn said, but couldn't help but laugh at Vi’s theatrics. “I am not!”
“Well then you have nothing to worry about.”
“People have said that to me before casting me aside,” Caitlyn admitted, and turned back to the TV. There was quite an action scene at play right now, but Vi had muted the VCR. “When I came to you here, at The Last Drop, it was not the first time I'd tried to start over. People change when they know who I really am.”
“Caitlyn, unless you have killed someone I promise nothing will change. Powder, Dad and I care a lot about you. And the rest of the staff too.”
“I wasn't born like this. I wasn't born a woman.”
“Oh—Oh!” Vi looked dumbfounded for a moment before her whole demeanor changed into something much softer. “Caity, that's okay—”
“You say that but it never is.”
“Caitlyn,” Vi took her hands in hers and squeezed them tightly. “I promise it's okay. You aren’t the only person I've met like this, and even if you were I wouldn't care.”
Caitlyn chewed on her lip, and still avoided Vi’s gaze.
“It doesn’t change how I feel about you, Cait.” Vi took Caitlyn’s face in her hands, and tilted her up to meet her gaze. “Can I kiss you?”
“Please.”
After that day Caitlyn tried to be a bit bolder. She shyly told Steb, her second favorite coworker after Vi, about her identity. He lit up immediately, and pulled his shirt up to show her his top surgery scars.
It was nice to know she wasn’t alone.
She and Vi tiptoed around each other for a short while. Caitlyn knew she wanted Vi, and she knew Vi wanted her. But there was always something that stopped Vi in her tracks before things could get heated.
“I don't know what you want,” Vi admitted shyly. “This is new to me. I don’t want to mess it up or do something that makes you uncomfortable.”
Which made sense, but it did hurt her in a way she wasn’t expecting it too. It was another reminder that she was different. But like the adult she is, Caitlyn told Vi, and she immediately apologized.
Though at the same time, Caitlyn was scared, too. She was scared of how Vi would perceive and treat her body. She wanted to fuck Vi. She had fantasies of bending her over the bar in the last drop, but still it frightened her. What if Vi perceived her differently? What if she was like Maddie?
And so, they made a plan.
Caitlyn wrote down some of her yeses and nos, at first not going into much detail, but slowly she added to it. Soon, it became a detailed fantasy of what she wanted to do to Vi, and what she wanted Vi to do to her.
She slipped her the paper at work and tried not to think about it for the rest of the day.
Vi called her not long after work.
“Can I come over?” she said breathlessly. “Now?”
Vi’s lips were on Caitlyn’s neck before she could get in the door. And before either of them knew it, Vi was bent over the kitchen counter while Caitlyn fiddled with the tie of her pajama pants.
“Are you sure?” Caitlyn paused, suddenly apprehensive. What if what happened with Maddie—
“Fuck me, please,” Vi begged, her cheek pressed against the countertop.
Caitlyn was still frozen in place. She knew Vi could see her arousal through her pants; it should be so simple to slip them and her panties off. Why was it so hard?
“Hey,” Vi’s hand lazily brushed hers. “Caity, I love you, and I want this. But it's okay if you need to stop.”
“You love me?”
Vi smiled softly. “How could I not?”
“I—I love you too, Vi.”
Vi smiled, then groaned and pressed her forehead against the laminate counter. “As sweet as you are, Cupcake, I'm fucking throbbing for you right now.” Vi frantically dropped her pants and soaked boxers and whined: “Please.”
“I am as well,” Caitlyn admitted shyly. She slid a hand between Vi’s legs and let her soak her fingers. “You are so wet, love.”
Vi whined and bucked against her.
“Patience, my love,” Caitlyn cooed, trying to build her confidence, but still hesitant. “Just let me—”
“Take your time,” Vi said, her voice strained. Fuck, Caitlyn knew how desperate Vi was, but even still, Vi was happy to keep things slow. “All at your own pace, baby. It's just me.”
Each time Vi spoke, she took just a little bit of pressure off. Caitlyn wasn’t sure how she did it, but she was able to, no matter the scenario. There was a special kind of safety that came with knowing Vi. And a special kind of privilege to be loved by her.
It changes nothing
It's alright
I love you
Vi’s words gave Caitlyn a boost of confidence, and before she could second-guess herself again, she pulled herself out of her pants and pushed herself into Vi.
The sound that came out of Vi was unlike anything Caitlyn had heard before. Strained and guttural and raw. She gripped the edge of the counter until her knuckles turned white.
“Are you alright?”
“More,” Vi gasped. “You aren’t hurting me—feels so good.”
Vi kept giving her little reassurances even as they continued. Even if it was as simple as a gasped “yes”. She helped build Caitlyn’s confidence, helped her feel safe enough to truly fuck her. And truly take in what was in front of her.
Vi’s body was beautiful. Her shirt stuck to her back with sweat and molded to the musculature on her back. Caitlyn had always seen that Vi’s arm tattoos extended beyond her shirt. Always knew there was more to her tattoos, and her body. And now she had the chance to see it. So Caitlyn, ravenous with need, began clumsily pulling Vi’s shirt up and off of her. Vi helped her pull it the rest of the way off.
If anything would make her believe in a god, it would be this.
Caitlyn leaned over, examining the way Vi’s muscles rippled as Caitlyn thrusted into her. The way her tattooed back flexed and moved. She pressed her lips against Vi’s hot skin, and bit down into her flesh until she left teeth marks in her skin. Vi moaned and clenched around Caitlyn, gasping for her to do it again.
But not long after, Vi was reaching back and grasping at Caitlyn's arm. Caitlyn stopped moving.
“Is everything alright?” She panted, flushed and suddenly a bit panicked. She hadn’t done anything wrong, had she? “Am I hurting you?”
“No, it’s okay,” Vi smiled and stared back at her through sweaty, messy hair that stuck to her forehead. “I just—I want to see you. Can I roll over?”
“Yes,” Caitlyn gasped, and stepped back just long enough to let Vi turn onto her back. She scooted backward and sat up onto the kitchen counter, and Caitlyn dove at her again, her mouth exploring the curve of her neck, and her hands across her breasts and muscular belly.
“Do you want to move somewhere more comfortable?” Caitlyn asked between open mouth kisses.
“No,” Vi said as she kicked her pants the rest of the way off and wrapped her legs around Caitlyn to pull her closer.
Vi’s ass was sore for the next few days, but she had never been happier. And Caitlyn was a lot less scared about the topic as a whole.
She and Vi tried a lot of things together, both of them going just far enough out of their comfort zones to still feel safe but perhaps learn something new. Caitlyn found that she really didn't like it when Vi used the strap on her, but that she loved it when Vi used her fingers and her mouth. And God, was Vi good at pleasuring her.
Caitlyn found more ways to pleasure Vi, as well. In fact, she found it exhilarating. She loved to ravage Vi in her home, no matter where they happened to be. It didn’t matter how; she loved using her mouth, her fingers, or her cock. One would be hard-pressed to find a surface Caitlyn hadn’t taken Vi on. And Vi seemed to love the feeling that came with being fucked somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be.
They had tried the broom closet at The Last Drop once partway through a shift, but Caitlyn was far too nervous to go through with it.
Vi got off on the idea of it just fine when they made it home.
Vi was wonderful in so many ways that Caitlyn couldn’t possibly imagine. She was open and kind and safe. Caitlyn’s worries and fears always melted away as soon as Vi entered a room. She stayed with her during doctors' appointments — appointments that Caitlyn had long avoided for fear of what they would say or do, but Vi was always right there to advocate for her. For several years, Caitlyn had a solid presence behind her. And not just in Vi. Her family was amazing, and Caitlyn had so many wonderful friends.
When Vi wasn’t there, there was always Vander. Always someone there to catch her before she fell.
Until one day, one normal-seeming, regular Saturday afternoon, Vander dropped dead in his kitchen.
Suddenly, Caitlyn lost two rocks. One to heart disease, and the other to grief.
But it wasn’t as scary as Caitlyn feared it may be. It just meant she had to dig in her heels and be for Vi what Vi had been for her for so many years.
Vander meant so much to Zaun. He was a pillar and protector of their community. But to Vi? To Vi, he was both of those things and her dad.
“Can I do anything for you?” A redundant question, and Caitlyn knew it. But Vi had not left their bed since the funeral, and she had to do something.
“I want my dad.”
Her voice was weepy, quiet, and so unlike Vi.
Vi was a crier. She cried when a movie ended sadly, or happily. She cried when she missed someone who lived just a few streets away and she cried when McDonald's discontinued serving their pizza. (To her credit, she was on her period, but Caitlyn wouldn't have cried over fast food even then).
But this was so much different than those times. It all started with wailing, screaming and crying in a way Caitlyn had never seen before and prayed she would never see again. She had to help Vi to the ground. Never in her life had she felt so helpless.
Caitlyn had hardly been able to get water into Vi. Even when Vi was able to eat, she cried so hard and for so long she was often unable to keep it down.
But now, it seemed like the crying had subsided. Vi had spent the last week in bed, only getting up long enough to use the bathroom, or if Caitlyn made her get up and eat. To her credit, she did eat when Caitlyn asked. Never the whole meal, but enough.
“Caitie?”
“Yes, my darling.”
“Can you hold me?”
“Of course.”
Just like every night since his sudden passing, Vi pressed herself so close that Caitlyn wondered if she would meld into her skin. And then Vi would sleep, rarely peacefully, but she would sleep as well as she could.
And, though it took time, Vi did get better. Until eventually, she was up and doing her routine again, but with a sadness that was never there before.
The whole ordeal had Caitlyn thinking about things she hadn't since she first started her transition.
It had her thinking about her own parents.
“Should I reach out to them?” Caitlyn asked one day over dinner.
Vi looked at her in surprise.
“Do you want to?”
Caitlyn picked at her food, pushing it around her plate with her fork. “A bit… I never told them about me—I was afraid of what they would say so I just—”
“Ran?”
“Yeah.”
They'd talked about Caitlyn’s family before. Vi knew the story well.
“Well, what do you think they would say?”
Caitlyn bit her lip. “I don't know.”
Queerness was not something that was acknowledged in the Kiramman home. Caitlyn didn't know anything about being gay until she was partway through highschool. And then she learned nothing about the trans identity until she was in university. Her parents never spoke about it badly; they just never spoke of it at all.
“I'm afraid something will happen,” Caitlyn admitted. “That they will be gone in the blink of an eye and I will be left regretting that they never knew me.”
Vi reached across the table and squeezed her hand.
“Whatever you decide, I'll be right here with you.”
So they wrote a letter.
And Caitlyn wrote about everything. From her trans identity, to the wonderful people she can call her friends and family.
And, of course, about her Vi.
Then they sent it off with trembling hands and waited for a response.
And waited.
And waited.
Months went by without an answer, and Caitlyn felt like she lost her parents all over again.
She supposed it was better than a bad response. But was it, really? At least if they sent something terrible she would know that they had received it at all.
Until one day, the phone rang. Vi, as always, was quick to pick it up, said her hellos, then, suddenly, her expression changed. From confusion, to a big, dumb, stupid grin.
“It's for you.”
Caitlyn took the phone from Vi’s hand, and raised an eyebrow. Vi was never this giddy after pulling a night shift.
She brought the phone to her ear, and said “Hello? This is Caitlyn.”
“Caitlyn..?” The voice said, so familiar, and yet, so much older than the last time she had heard it. “Is it really you?”
“Mama?”
They talked for hours. Her mother and father swapping turns on the phone. Laughing and crying through the conversation. They apologized for taking so long to get back to her.
“We practiced,” her mother said, somewhat shyly. “We wanted to be sure to get your name and all correct before calling.”
“I wish you had told us,” her dad said. “But we understand why you didn't.”
“Can I see you?” Caitlyn asked, tears welling in her eyes.
“Let's start with dinner.”
It felt surreal that her parents not only wanted to see her, but got her name right and addressed her correctly every time. It was as surreal as it was devastating to know that they might have accepted her from the start.
All that heart ache, all the running and sleepless nights, could have all been avoided if she had just spoken up.
“You couldn't have known,” Vi said, stroking her hair and scratching her scalp as Caitlyn lay against her chest. “Hell, they may be a lot different now, having lost you, than they would have been then.”
“Perhaps,” Caitlyn leaned into Vi’s touch and sighed. “But I've lost so much time.”
After losing Vander, every second seemed that much more important. And she hadn’t lost seconds; she'd lost years.
Vi tilted her head up to kiss her, and smiled softly. “You have plenty of time to catch up.”
Caitlyn was so stressed the day they had planned to meet for dinner she was almost sick — which only stressed her out more. But Vi’s steady hand on her back or Vi’s fingers threaded through hers helped melt it all away.
She couldn't have asked for a better reunion.
They'd hugged her so tightly she'd thought she was going to snap in half. Vi was welcomed with open arms as well.
Dinner became a thing. Every other weekend they would meet up. Sometimes Vi and Caitlyn would host, and others they would go to Caitlyn’s parents’ home. Vi nearly choked when they first pulled into Caitlyn’s old gated community.
At first it was just the two of them. Then Powder was invited. Then Steb and Loris, and eventually Mel started coming from Ionia to visit during these dinners as well. It became a new sort of family. Vander could never be replaced, and Caitlyn would never want him to be, but now they had her parents to go to.
They didn't have the community influence that Vander had in Zaun, but they did have tons of money, and they were not afraid to share it if one of their new “kiddos” (as Tobias called them) needed it.
Powder was able to go to university, becoming the first in their family to get a degree. Vi and Loris were able to pay off the mortgage on The Last Drop. Mel was able to move away from her mother, and later moved into a very luxurious apartment with her “roommate” Steb (Caitlyn is still certain there is more going on there).
And Vi and Caitlyn, the moment the law allowed, were able to have an extravagant wedding. They didn't need anything fancy, but Caitlyn’s mother insisted on nothing but the best.