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Kel shakes her head to throw off a final few snowflakes as she and Yuki enter her rooms. Lalasa is fussing about a tea service freshly steaming on the table, and she finishes as the pair trade their muddy footwear for house shoes.
“I’ll take my leave, my lady, unless you’ve need of me?”
Kel frowns at her friend. Lalasa insists upon fitting all of Kel’s clothing herself, but she has a tendency to take over some of her former duties. Since she hardly accepts a fair price for the work Kel agrees to, Kel refuses to allow her to act as a maid as well.
Reading Kel’s expression, Lalasa grins and gathers up her coat and an armful of Kel’s Goldenlake-green tunics that have been damaged over the last few months. “I’ll bring by the repairs this evening.”
“You don’t have to,” Kel tells her. “You must have your own work to be getting on with.”
Lalasa shushes her gently and is gone, closing the door behind her.
Kel joins her guest. Yuki has seated herself and is waiting patiently for her host to begin the tea service. She makes a fine picture in front of Kel’s window and the late-November light streaming in. Made up in the Yamani noble lady’s mask of rice powder and striking lip-paint, the picture she presents in her dark red and autumn-leaf orange kimonos is one that seems entirely foreign to Kel’s room in the Tortallan palace.
Spending time with Yuki again has been like that: all of her vivid memories from the Yamani Islands somehow brought into her new life in Corus. They were children when Kel’s family returned to Tortall, and she has gone through so much during the intervening time. Over the last few weeks, she has been learning about what the last six years have been like for her friend.
It could have made them strangers. But somehow, they fit together just as well as they did before– or even better. Kel would feel like an awkward lug to be sitting down for tea like this with a man, and of course in that case she would need a chaperone, but Yuki is not a man. And, despite the strange simmering under Kel’s skin, the awareness of every one of Yuki’s movements, she feels more comfortable than she could ever imagine feeling with a man.
Kel feels herself blushing just to be facing Yuki over the table. She only realizes she’s staring when Yuki clears her throat quietly.
“Your maid… is she good?” Yuki asks while tapping her finger thoughtfully on the edge of her china saucer.
Kel understands the message. China is not porous. It is used in Yamani poetry and art to represent silence and grace– and kept secrets. She allows a hint of a smile to show on her face.
“Lalasa is not my maid anymore, though she used to be. She is a good friend of mine, and trustworthy.”
Yuki’s eyes widen slightly. “Keladry, you have become so blunt! Is this the way life in Tortall changes a person?”
Kel serves the tea, slowly and deliberately in the Yamani way. Yuki waits until every movement is completed perfectly, then takes up her cup and deliberately samples a tiny amount. She replaces the cup gently and pulls the saucer slightly closer to herself in approval. Only then does Kel take a sip of her own, and when their eyes meet over the rim of Kel’s cup, it’s as though no time at all has passed between them.
“Perhaps not everything has changed,” Yuki comments mildly.
Kel reaches for one of the candies in a dish beside the teapot, and Yuki does the same, brushing their hands together. After a lingering moment, Kel murmurs a word of apology and retreats.
They finish their tea, speaking of developments in their lives and the lives of their families, the plans the Yamani delegation has for courtly courtesies over the next few weeks, ways in which Kel can support Shinko as she acclimates to Tortall. When they’ve had their fill, it is Yuki who stands and makes her way around the table, graceful and measured, to stand beside Kel’s chair. Kel’s heart pounds in her chest and her eyes close of their own volition as Yuki leans down to place the lightest kiss on her lips.
The touch spreads through Kel’s mind and body, comfortable and right like nothing that had ever come before. She forgets about needing air as they kiss again, and has to take in a deep breath when Yuki releases her.
“When will Lalasa return?” Yuki asks.
“Not until the ninth bell,” Kel answers, her voice raspy.
“How shall we pass the time?”
Kel reaches out blindly, and Yuki is very close.
When they return to conversation, the light entering Kel’s rooms has faded. It makes the walls feel close, as though they are huddled together in a nook. The covers of Kel’s bed protect them from the cooling air that would steal away all the warmth between them. Yuki is comfortably nestled in Kel’s arms, stroking her skin under the blankets, while Kel is allowed to run her fingers through Yuki’s hair.
“You are very sure Lalasa will not return?” Yuki murmurs into Kel’s neck. When the puff of air elicits a shiver, she kisses over the spot.
“You don’t believe me?” Kel says once she has found her voice again. She’s amused, but Yuki bundles closer to Kel, and in an endearing show of trust, she allows her concern to be visible on her face.
“We have been instructed to cause no conflict,” Yuki explains, and Kel knows exactly how stern and weighty such an instruction would have been. “We are told that Tortall does not approve of relationships between those of like natures.”
“That’s true,” Kel admits. “There are those who don’t mind, but most believe that only men and women should marry or lay together.”
“It’s so strange. But there is much that is strange here.” The worry smooths from her brow when she smiles up at Kel mischievously. “Thankfully, we have received a warm welcome.”
Kel is beyond any attempt at clever banter. She kisses Yuki again, and Yuki charitably accepts the witless response.
When the kiss is over, Kel seeks to assuage Yuki’s fear. “Lalasa will not return because she is with her friend, Tian. They recently opened a dress shop together, and have much to discuss.”
Yuki’s eyes narrow slightly, encouraging Kel to elaborate.
“Operating a business is a lot of work. Luckily, they are very close. They live together to save money. That makes running the shop easier, even if their dedication to the shop means it will be harder for them to find husbands.”
“And once they reach a certain age,” Yuki says, catching on quickly, “no one will expect them to find husbands.”
“I don’t think they’ll mind.”
“No, I expect they will not.” Yuki smiles a wide, private smile, and it takes over her whole face. Kel can only watch her, somewhat stunned by her beauty, though hopefully not as badly as her fellow squires and pages were for the first few weeks after the Yamani delegation arrived.
“So there are ways to manage marriages between those of like natures, even in Tortall.”
“It’s harder among the nobility,” Kel says. Instinctively, she holds Yuki closer, and Yuki slides an arm around Kel’s waist.
“Many things are,” Yuki agrees.
She is quiet for a while. Kel has almost forgotten what it’s like to be around people who don’t try to fill every silence, and she welcomes the calm, the time to think. She and Yuki have always been similar in many ways, though they are quite different in others, and good at following each others’ thoughts. So it is not a surprise to Kel that, when Yuki speaks, she raises a subject that Kel has been considering as well.
“I am to stay with Shinkokami in her retinue. And, in Tortall, that means I am expected to find a husband.”
“It’s not unusual for Tortallan ladies-in-waiting to remain unmarried,” Kel points out, but it’s mostly on principle. It’s not in Yuki’s nature to be happy alone, and–
“And it is not unusual for Tortallan knights to be away from the capital for long stretches of time,” Yuki counters.
Kel nods, conceding the point. Yuki will have to find a husband, or some other arrangement which pleases her, while Kel is away. Such agreements are not unheard of in the Yamani Isles, though even purportedly secret relationships have layers of ritual and manners to them. Kel hadn’t known anything about those kinds of affairs when they’d left the Isles, as she’d been only ten years old. But she has been informed of such things from her mother in the years since, alongside other lessons about love and courtesy both Yamani and Tortallan.
Here, there are no such traditions, no quietly approved practices to follow even when supposedly breaking the rules. Here in Tortall, they will have to carve a new path.
Of course, they may be putting the cart before the horse, Kel thinks suddenly. She bites her lip as doubt strikes.
But Yuki has always been the more clever of the two of them, and perhaps the braver. She tugs at Kel’s chin with her thumb until the bitten lip pops free, then soothes it with a gentle touch that nonetheless makes Kel’s pulse quicken.
“We were very young when you left, but I knew then that I wanted to kiss you. When I was chosen to join Shinkokami’s retinue, I hoped to find you again. I came to find you as soon as it would be proper. The last few weeks have made me sure that I want to be with you, in whatever way we are allowed, if you feel the same.”
How is it that Yuki, born and raised Yamani, can talk about such things so openly, while Kel, who is Tortallan and has lived in Tortall the last five years, must bury her face between Yuki’s hair and the pillow, her cheeks on fire from simply hearing the words?
Yuki laughs. Kel feels it in her very bones.
“I will assume you agree, then, unless you correct me. Which means we will need to plan.”
“I will need to recover,” Kel groans, earning another laugh.
~ ~ * ~ ~
As the squires and pages finish up their evening meal, Kel asks Neal to join her in the library for some study. As nervous as she is, it comes out so formally that their friends look at her in concern.
“There haven’t been any more incidents, have there?” Merric squints at her suspiciously. “You can’t be looking for fights again.”
“No,” Kel answers, making an effort to lighten up. She knows she must appear positively funereal to the Tortallan boys right now. It’s strange to try and shift from Yamani blankness to Tortallan enthusiasm in such quick succession; neither are coming easily at the moment. That’s another thing she will have to practice.
“I only need to discuss something with him about the Yamani delegation. Knowing Neal, he’ll want to take out some books as soon as we’re finished, so I thought I’d save us the time.”
Neal’s expression turns from concern to academic fervor so quickly that the other boys burst out laughing. They throw a final few taunts at Kel and Neal as they exit the mess hall, but Neal brushes the teasing off easily.
“What do you want to talk about? And why will I want to research it? I have a lot on my plate already, you know,” he says quickly. “I may not have time to look into whatever it is for you.”
The flimsy attempt at manipulation is so transparent that Kel wants to laugh. Recognizing the urge, she tries to allow it, but she’d suppressed the movement instinctively before it could get out. Instead, she frowns.
“I’ll explain when we get there.”
Neal is quiet the rest of the way. Some moments his steps quicken as the curiosity takes over, and then he slows again to match Kel’s consistent pace, a furrow forming between his brows with obvious concern over Kel’s solemnity. She tries to smile at him, but it must not be convincing, because he walks a little closer to her in solidarity, matching her steps so evenly that they could be marching.
It’s very silly of him, and such an endearing show of loyalty. When they get to the library, he’s surely going to start off with something terribly sincere about how Kel can rely on Neal’s support and his silence. Lady, but he is so familiar to her after their years in close quarters, out on progress in Tortall.
Kel can only hope that she really does know him as well as she thinks she does.
They find a table in one of their usual study rooms, and Kel makes a point of selecting a space that would be tricky for eavesdroppers. Neal looks openly worried now, and sure enough, once they’ve put down their things, he preempts Kel’s explanation.
“Whatever’s going on, Kel, you know I’m on your side, right? And so are the other pages. Has someone been giving you trouble? One of the Yamanis?”
“Nothing of the sort, now will you sit down?”
Being right about Neal’s reaction in this one way is such a huge comfort to Kel’s worry about the upcoming conversation that she manages to let out the grin that wants to form on her face. Neal had been leaning halfway across the table in his earnestness, but he visibly relaxes when Kel smiles and he falls back into his chair.
“You had me thinking something terrible was happening!” he accuses. “I expect that sort of drama from the others, but not from you! Why, I ought to focus on my own work and let you deal with whatever this is by yourself.”
Kel waits a moment, but he makes no move to even open one of his ledgers. She raises an eyebrow and Neal sighs.
“Fine, you win, will you please tell me what this is about? And what will I want to research?”
He looks so pathetic, pleading with his big green eyes, that Kel nearly laughs. But she takes a deep breath and recalls how she had planned to open this conversation, and that quickly sobers her up.
“Neal… You remember our lessons about Yamani culture. How some things are accepted in the Isles that are not accepted here?”
“Many things,” Neal says bluntly.
Kel winces, remembering some of the pages’ reactions to Yamani history, even though Tortallan history could be just as vicious in some of its own eras.
“I’m talking about… love.”
Neal’s eyebrows fly up just to hear Kel say such a thing, but she can see as his thoughts fly and alight in the correct place. “In the Yamani Isles, their lords will sometimes marry each other, and the ladies, too.” At Kel’s nod, he continues. “And this relates to the Yamani delegation…”
“Yes. I can’t say anything else without asking your thoughts on the subject.”
Neal eyes what is almost certainly Kel’s Yamani stone face, but he answers easily. “I come from a family of healers. Other people’s relationships aren’t my business unless they affect someone’s health.”
Kel nods slowly. “So if you were to learn of such a… relationship…”
“I wouldn’t say anything, unless it put someone in danger.”
“And if it… involved someone you know…”
Kel can see the moment he catches on. “Kel,” he whispers. “Kel, I don’t care at all.” He reaches across the table to grab her hand. “That is, I wouldn’t care at all, if it were someone I knew.”
She squeezes his hand and is met with a clasp so firm and undoubtable that the fear inside her nearly evaporates. “I’m happy to hear that,” she whispers.
“Kel, you’re my best friend in the world. You know I’ll do anything for you.”
Kel’s laugh comes out in one go like a hiccup, and she pats his hand in hers before letting it go. “You may not want to say that quite yet.”
“I mean it. What do you need?”
He makes as if to get up from the table and go fight someone on Kel’s behalf.
“I need you to sit down and listen!”
“Ugh, get to the point, will you?” he whinges dramatically. “I’m dying here.”
Kel laughs for real, all filled up with love and appreciation. She’d known, almost for certain, that he would accept her, and now he’s playing up his own emotional tendencies to alleviate what he knows is her discomfort to discuss such things. Neal is the best friend she’s ever had, except perhaps for Yuki. She has to believe she’s made the right choice.
“You told me once that you don’t… seek a marriage of passion,” Kel begins, her cheeks already heating.
Thankfully, Neal’s quick mind races ahead, and his eyebrows shoot for the ceiling again. “I don’t. And as a younger son, it would be acceptable for me not to marry, and focus on my career. But it would be suspicious for two noble women of marriageable age to remain unattached.” He stares at her, agog. “Kel… are you suggesting that you and I–”
“No!” Kel yelps emphatically.
They remain frozen for a moment before the tension breaks. Kel buries her heavy blush in her hands while Neal tries to smother his laughter in his elbow, with limited success. He’s still wiping away tears when Kel manages to look over her hands.
“Okay, okay, I understand, I’m a terrible prospect–”
“That’s not what I meant!” Kel protests, already feeling the blush start to return.
“--so who is the pitiable young woman you’re hoping to curse with an attachment to me?”
“Yuki,” Kel admits quietly.
Strangely, Neal doesn’t react at all. Kel’s normally expressive friend could almost pass for a Yamani, so motionless is his face. He’s silent for a long minute, and for once it’s Kel’s turn to be unable to handle the silence.
“Is that… alright?”
Neal blinks and shakes his head. “That’s your friend, the one who came to the mess hall?”
Kel nods.
“And she… she knows you’re talking to me about this?”
“Of course!”
Neal blinks several more times. “I see. Well.” He clears his throat. “I. I suppose. I should research Yamani marriage customs, then? That is. That’s what you thought I would want to do?”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes I’m fine, why do you ask?”
“Could you take a breath?”
Neal breathes in and some color returns to his face. “Ah. Yes. That. That’s good.” He does it again.
“You don’t have to agree immediately. I only meant to introduce the idea, so you could think about it.”
Neal takes another big breath and it settles something in him. He looks at Kel and she recognizes that sense of purpose and determination in him.
“I don’t need to think about it. If she’s with the Yamani delegation, then her family must be more than acceptable. My parents would be ecstatic if I managed such a good match. She’s your friend, so she must be a good person.” Kel has to swallow at the thoughtless compliment, but Neal doesn’t notice as he clinically dissects the question. “If you’ve already told her what to expect from me as a husband–” He shoots Kel a questioning look and she nods, “–and she won’t be disappointed or hurt by my lack of interest, then that’s already more than I’d ever hoped for in a potential marriage. And as long as she and I could get along, in terms of our personalities–”
“I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t think you would like each other!”
“–then I don’t see any reason to say no. And of course, she’s. Very beautiful.”
Neal stares at the table, once again pale and odd-looking. Kel reaches out to him this time, and he takes her hand immediately. His palm is sweaty.
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
Neal takes another deep breath. “I’m fine. It’s. It’s good. Politically, it would be good for my family, and it would mean we could stay friends without inviting talk–”
“There is no amount of talk, in this world or any other, that would keep me from being friends with you,” Kel says firmly.
Neal smiles and squeezes Kel’s hand. “I know that. I’m very grateful for it. I’m sure I’d lose my head if I didn’t have you around to remind me to pick it up. But if you were good friends with my wife– oh, if you were the one to introduce us!”
“That’s the plan.”
“Then that would make everything easier. And, of course, you would always be welcome in our home–”
“That’s the plan,” Kel teases.
“–and I could have a wife and a family without having to…”
He takes another deep breath, and Kel realizes that the strange expression on his face is bone-deep relief. She’s never known that he was so afraid of something she’d only ever thought of– with the opposite sex, at least– with distaste.
“Will she want children?” he asks suddenly, wariness returning to his voice.
“Adoption isn’t stigmatized in the Isles, even among nobles,” Kel explains. “Although… it’s also not unknown for a wife, if her husband isn’t able, to beget an heir somewhere else. Discreetly. Yuki is much better at all the… politics, than I am,” Kel says awkwardly. “She’s good at secrets, and planning. I’d rather hit my problems with a sword.”
Neal rolls his eyes and Kel realizes they’re still holding hands. It hasn’t quite hit her yet, among her joy to be with Yuki and her nerves at the audaciousness of their offer to her friend, that if all this goes well, she will truly get to keep Neal, as close as they are now, for the rest of her life, or even closer. It’s an entirely different kind of happiness, and she will get to keep them both.
“I see it’ll be our job to keep you in line,” Neal says affectionately.
Kel smiles back, and it comes so easily. “It’ll be up to Yuki to ride herd on us both.”
“She must be formidable.”
“She is.”
The color has fully returned to Neal’s face, and although he’s still somewhat shaky, it feels healthier. Anticipatory, rather than afraid.
“Tell me more about this plan you mentioned. And how my research will fit into it.”
With another squeeze of Neal’s hand, Kel does.
~ ~ * ~ ~
Neal arrives near the end of the morning glaive session. Kel sees him in the corner of her eye, hovering near the small crowd of spectators they draw some days. He waits until after Queen Thayet, Shinkokami, and Lady Haname have excused themselves before approaching.
Kel’s mother also spots Neal and greets him before Kel can. That wasn’t part of the plan, but from the uptick to the corner of Yuki’s mouth, it’s not unwelcome.
“Lady Yukimi, have you met Nealan of Queenscove? He trained as a page with Keladry.”
Yuki curtsies politely. “I have not had the pleasure.”
“Neal, Lady Yukimi no Daiomoru was one of Keladry’s best friends while our family lived in the Yamani Isles.”
Neal bows, and, though pale in the face, he sounds composed when he speaks. “Well met, Lady Yukimi. We’ve heard wonderful things about you from Kel.”
“Have you indeed?” Yuki says silkily.
Being flirted with by a beautiful women is typically enough to have Neal stumbling over his words. But forewarned is forearmed, and Kel has been sure to warn him of Yuki’s brand of humor. He rises to the challenge.
“I wish to offer a small token to welcome you to Tortall.” Neal removes the card from his jacket and, in the manner he and Kel had practiced, offers it to Yuki with both hands while bowing slightly.
Yuki accepts the card in the same manner. She reads it silently, taking her time while Neal tries not to fidget. Then, she reads the poem aloud, first in Yamani and then Common.
An elegant songbird
Lands above me
In a green garden.
I sit in perfect stillness
To hear if she will sing.
When she has finished reading the poem, there is silence. Neal is tense at Kel’s side, but he follows her lead and says nothing.
Lady Ilane glances at Kel as if to say she is on to their plot and gracefully steps in. “A strong effort for a beginner. I didn’t know you were interested in Yamani poetry, Neal.”
“It’s a recent development,” Neal says shiftily, eyes firmly on the ground.
Yuki clears her throat. “I must agree with Lady Ilane. You show promise.”
She looks up at Neal through her eyelashes, and when he raises his gaze from the ground he ends up staring at her as badly as he’s ever stared at a noblewomen. Only Kel’s long practice in schooling her expression prevents her from giggling at him.
“You must attend tea with Kel and I this afternoon, so we may discuss your new interest further,” Kel’s mother offers Neal politely. “Lady Yukimi, as one practiced in the art, you would also be most welcome.”
“I believe I will be available. That is most kind, Lady Ilane,” Yuki accepts with a bow.
“Then it is settled.”
Kel’s mother excuses herself and Yuki, and only raises a single eyebrow to Kel to imply that she will be expecting an explanation before their tea.
When they are out of sight, Neal heaves a huge sigh and slumps against a nearby fence. “Was that good? Do you think she liked the poem?” he asks, gulping as though his breakfast is threatening a reappearance.
“Very good,” Kel says firmly. “If she didn’t like it, she would have praised it politely. Not saying anything is the modest way of saying she was impressed. With my mother’s introduction and approval, everything was done properly. All that’s left is to get to know each other. And I know you’ll get along.”
“She winked at me,” he says, sounding dazed.
Kel laughs. It’s early morning, the songbirds are indeed singing, and love is in the air. Even if it’s a different sort of love than the Tortallan castle is used to.
“Come, you have more research to do!”
Together, they head inside the castle.