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It was night and a warm breeze stirred the curtains in the hotel room. Jarno wondered what had awoken him. He listened for any uncommon sound, but could hear nothing. He was starting to lie down again when someone cleared his throat. Jarno was out of the bed and had switched on the light in a matter of seconds.
In the armchair next to the mini bar sat a young boy. He seemed to be about four years old, had nearly white hair and wore nothing but some kind of shorts. With one hand shading his eyes against the blinding light, he blinked up at the startled man before him.
Jarno stared at the boy. “Who… who are you and what are you doing in my room?”
The boy smiled. “Hi, I’m Zacharias, but everyone calls me Zack.”
“O… Ok, Zack, what are you doing in my room?”
“Waiting for you to wake up.” Zack sounded as if it was the most usual thing for him to sit in a foreign hotel room waiting for the occupant to wake up.
Jarno wondered where the mother of the boy might be, and, with a dawning suspicion, he tried to remember all of his girlfriends from 4 or 5 years ago. “Why were you waiting for me to wake up?”
“I wanted to speak to you, but I can’t do that you while you are sleeping.”
At this exact moment, that seemed to make a weird kind of sense.
“Ok, you want to talk to me, and because of that, you are waiting in the middle of the night in my room for me to wake up. Did I understand you right?”
Zack nodded enthusiastically.
“But… How did you get in here? I know I locked the door.”
“I came through the window.”
“This is the fifth floor. You can’t have come through the window!”
“Oh, that’s ok. I flew through it.”
“You… flew… Ok! Ok, you really got me. So where are the cameras? This was funny, but now, show yourself.” Jarno was turning in circles, trying without success to find the hidden cameras.
Zack frowned. “I’m here and what was funny anyway?”
Jarno stopped his turning around to look at Zack again. “If this is not some kind of joke with a hidden camera, then the only possibility left is that I’m still asleep and you are just a dream. Or maybe a nightmare.”
Zack hopped from the armchair and walked over to Jarno. He looked up and then pinched the much larger man in the thigh.
“Ouch! Why did you do that?”
“That was the easiest way to show you that you are not sleeping. Now, would you please sit down? Since you are awake now, we can go on and talk.”
Slightly dazed and rubbing his thigh, Jarno sat down on the bed. Zack reclaimed his seat in the armchair and sighed. “This is much harder than I thought. Ok, best I start again from the beginning. I’m Zack and I’m your guardian angel.”
He looked at Jarno as if he waited for an answer, but Jarno had lost his ability to speak. He just stared at the boy… angel?… boy!
“Do you follow?”
Jarno nodded slowly.
“Good. You know for yourself that the life you live is not the most unperilous. Let’s face it; your guardian angel has a lot to do. Now, it is a known fact that people who live in a loving relationship are much more careful. So I came here to ask you to form such a relationship with the one you love. It would make my job so much easier. Would you do that for me? Please?”
Again expectation appeared on Zack’s face and Jarno fought to find his voice.
“The one I love?” It was more a croak than understandable words. He cleared his throat. “But I do have a relationship.”
“But it has to be with the one you love…”
“But…”
“… and she is not it.”
“And who do you think is the-one-I-love?”
“Fernando of course.” Zack frowned at him. “But you know that!”
Jarno’s voice had left him once again. He closed his eyes.
Zack seemed to interpret this as a positive answer. His voice became cheerful again. “So, are you going to do it? Please?”
Jarno let his head fall down onto his hands on his lap. If agreeing on everything helped handling a mad man, maybe agreeing would help the mad man as well? He looked back up and nodded carefully.
“Great! Thank you!” Zack hopped off the chair once again and was on the bed next to Jarno one moment later. He looped his little arms around Jarno’s neck and gave him a peck on the cheek. Then he went over to the light switch. “Go back to sleep now. If you start tomorrow, it’s early enough. Good Night and sweet dreams.”
Jarno crawled back under the covers as the room went dark.
A light breeze billowed the curtains when the alarm clock on the bedside table started to beep. Groggily, Jarno silenced it. Still half asleep, he stumbled over to his clothes and dressed in his jogging gear. He sat down on his bed to lace up his shoes. When he came up again, his look fell on the armchair. He shook his head to clear it. That had been a really strange dream.
If the dream should tell him something, it was way too late. He had accepted that his feelings for his teammate went further than friendship, but he had decided to keep silent. Fernando’s friendship was too important to him to risk. Especially since the probability to lose everything was very high. He sighed. He had managed to control the urges of his body in the vicinity of Fernando, he surely could do the same with his subconscious. He was brought out of his thoughts by a knock on the door.
Fernando looked as tired as Jarno felt, but the tousled hair was making him look even better and Jarno groaned inwardly as his body reacted to that sight. ‘There goes that control,’ he thought and started his, by then, often-practiced exercise of thinking unsexy thoughts.
The hotel was not very far from the track, and for the time that they’ve been testing there, Fernando and he used the way to work often for their morning run. Each of them had a set of casual clothes stocked in the garage for the way home.
They reached the pits together with the first mechanics and went straight to the showers. Through the exercise, Jarno had been able to get himself under control, and they were joking and teasing each other in a familiar manner again. Fernando was still raving about a girl he had seen in the grid at the last race.
“Maybe you should have asked her for her number?”
“I couldn’t. Her father was with her.”
“You sure he was her father? Look at the girls Flav is prancing around with. They could easily be his daughters.”
“Oh yeah, thank you, Jarno. Aren’t you, as a friend, supposed to build my spirit up, not stomp down on it?”
“As if your spirit needs building up. You could have every girl you want and you know it.”
“Could I?”
“Yes, probably she would have given you her number whether that guy was her father or not. And now quit fishing for compliments.”
“I’m not fishing for compliments!”
“Are too!”
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
“Am not!”
Both men were grinning and throwing mock glares at each other. Then Jarno grabbed the shower handle and started the cold water. Fernando squeaked when the icy spray hit him and he tried to get hold of the handle himself. They struggled until they were out of breath from laughing and shivering from the cold. They stood in silence, their fingers entwined at the handle of the shower and for a split second Jarno thought that Fernando might kiss him. The Italian broke the moment by turning off the water. Fantasies about Fernando kissing him were fine while alone, but they were too dangerous while standing right next to the man.
Jarno went over to their towels, which, miraculously, had stayed nearly dry, and was halfway through drying off himself when he turned and looked at his teammate. Fernando was still standing there holding the shower handle and stared into the ether.
“Come on, we’re late.”
That seemed to kick start Fernando. His eyes regained focus and he looked at Jarno. His look caught something on Jarno’s thigh and a frown appeared on his face. “Where did you get that bruise? It wasn’t there yesterday.”
Jarno looked at his thigh and brushed his thumb over the mark. He couldn’t remember hitting himself, but it was approximately the same place where this weird boy in his dream had pinched him. “I bumped into the table in the dark.” It was easier to look like a stumbling idiot, than to tell Fernando about this particular dream.
When Jarno came back to the hotel, it was late at night. He was dead tired and only wanted to lose his suit and fall into his bed. Normally he did not mind the public appearances for the sponsors, but at the moment he had other things on his mind than canap고and small talk. The only enjoyable thing this evening had been seeing Fernando in a suit. He had looked amazing and more than one of the female attendees had noticed that as well.
Jarno opened the door to his room and switched the light on. He had already thrown his jacket over a chair and loosened his tie when he noticed that he was not alone. On the middle of the bed sat cross-legged no other than Zack. And he looked slightly pissed. Jarno was reasonably sure that he had not had enough time to fall asleep, which meant he was not dreaming.
“You are not a dream, are you?”
Zack scoffed at that. “As I told you last time, I’m your guardian, I’m not a dream and you are not sleeping. Should I pinch you again to be sure?”
“Ah… No, thank you, but… May I ask you something?”
“There might be things I can’t tell you, but ask away.”
“Why are you here?”
“You made a promise the last time and you broke it. You haven’t even tried to do something and you had several opportunities.”
“What should I have done?”
“Just go and kiss him. Or if you think this is too direct, ask him out.”
“But I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
Jarno sighed, resigned. “Because he is my teammate and my friend and because he is a guy.”
“But you are a guy, too.”
“Exactly!”
Lack of understanding was written clearly over Zack’s face. Jarno wondered how old he really was and why he was discussing his love life with the boy.
“If you are my guardian, how comes that you know so little about life?”
“I’m sorry, but you are my first assignment and I’m only on it for the last two month.” Tears were now standing in Zack’s eyes. “I do my best, really!”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to upset you. But if you are my guardian for the last month, where is the one who did it before or hadn’t I a guardian then?”
“You had. He retired. Too much stress.”
Zack was sniffing quietly making Jarno walk over to the nightstand and give him a Kleenex.
“So, my guardian angel retired ’cause of stress issues and was replaced by someone without any experience, right?”
“Yeah. See, race drivers are really hard to procure and you don’t have much of a choice when you are young and not in the top ten of the class. I know I’m not the best for the job, that’s why I asked you for your help.” He was sobbing in earnest now and Jarno handed him another tissue.
“I’m sorry, Zack. I don’t want to make your job even harder, but I can’t ask Fernando for a date.”
“But you love him.”
“Yes, I do, but that doesn’t matter.”
“Love should be the only thing that matters.”
Jarno looked into his serious, blue eyes and answered sadly. “Maybe it should, but it isn’t, at least not in this world.”
“Then you won’t ask him?”
“No, I won’t.” He had made that decision some time ago, but to say it out loud was depressing. Jarno went over to the mini bar and helped himself to a drink. When he looked back, the bed was empty and the curtains at the open window moved slightly. There were two wet tissues in the waist bin, but Jarno tried not to think about them.
In Jarno’s opinion the whole day had been a waste of time. It had rained through both of the free practice sessions and the only thing they had been able to confirm about the setup had been the fact that Michelin was not able to produce decent rain tires. During the first session they had mostly sat in the garage waiting for the weather to clear up. When Flavio came in with the information that it probably would rain over the whole weekend, they had tried to find a suitable setup, but had failed.
Only the Ferraris were going around the course in respectable times. The rest of the drivers were fighting to keep their cars on the track. Montoya had lost his car in the third corner of his second lap and had been stomping back to his team looking like a drenched cat and fuming like a volcano. He had thrown hateful looks at the men in red and his teammate who had the audacity to do laps without leaving the track.
Jarno himself had two spins, but was lucky enough not to hit the wall. Fernando had been even better, but in the end they had finish the sessions in 8th and 11th. Jarno was wet and cold to the bone. He wished for a bath full of hot water, but since the team meeting was soon to follow, he would have to settle for the shower.
On his way over there he met Fernando. His teammate had already changed into his usual jeans and a sponsor shirt and grinned at him.
“As see, you too have found the way back to the shore.”
Jarno wondered how anyone could have such a good mood at such a bad day.
“Flavio says, I should remind you of your interview with Ray Uno and that you should tell them that the team is confident that they have a good car any given condition.”
“Great, why aren’t they giving them to us now?” Pampering the press was definitely not on his what-I-want-to-do-list for the evening.
Fernando’s grin grew only wider at the sarcastic remark. “I have a photo shooting later on, but am free around six. So let’s say we meet there at seven? Have to run now. See you.”
Jarno wondered where he was supposed to be at seven and what he had to do there. It seemed to him as if he had missed out on part of the conversation. He resumed his way to the shower, thinking that afterwards was enough time to find out what Fernando had meant.
He was out of his coverall and fighting with his wet, clinging underwear when he noticed the little boy. Zack leaned against the doorframe and looked as casual as someone with four years on him could possibly look.
“Great, just what I needed.” Jarno was muttering to himself.
“What’s up with you? The day was, however, a success. You are not hurt ֠I’m quite proud of that fact ֠and I got you a date with Fernando. So, cheer up!”
“You got me what?”
“A date. Like going out together.”
“A date…” Jarno was speechless. In the context of an upcoming date, Fernando’s words could make some sense. “How did you… I mean…”
“Oh, that was easy. I sent him an SMS and asked him out for dinner and he just said yes. So, yay.”
Jarno was in near panic now. What had that stupid little guy done? But then, dinner. Ok, dinner wasn’t too bad. They had dinner together on a regular basis. Fernando probably thought he wanted to have some quality time with his friend. That was ok, that was fine. Jarno’s rapid breathing came down to a more usual rate.
“I have given him the address of this little restaurant. It’s very nice and quite romantic. You will love it.”
Jarno was over at the door and shaking the little body before he knew it. Zack looked at him with wide eyes. The Italian let go of him and slumped down at the floor.
“Shit! Don’t you understand what you have done? Fernando will probably kill me, if he ever finds out that I like him as more than a friend. That’s really bad for your job, isn’t it?”
Zack shuffled with his feet, embarrassed.
“It’s ok… ok… I will call him later and tell him I’m not able to make it.” Jarno sighed. “And you won’t interfere in my life anymore, understood?”
There was no one who could have answered anymore.
The idea of canceling dinner with Fernando would have been a good one, if Jarno had been able to reach him. He tried it over the whole evening, but had no luck. Fernando’s cell phone was either out of reach or switched off and no one he asked remembered where this damn photo shooting was held.
At 6:30 he was out of options. Fernando had not returned to the hotel and the thought of letting his friend wait for him didn’t appeal to Jarno. He would rather go through this evening than face the anger of the Spaniard. All he needed was a believable cover story.
He changed clothes in a hurry, grabbed his keys, and was at the door when he realized that he had no idea where to go to. Great, he had 20 minutes left to get to some unknown place. He slumped down on his bed took out his cell phone and tried a last time to reach Fernando, but again he got only the friendly, female voice telling him that the phone he wanted to reach was out of range. He canceled the call and glared at the offending piece of technology in his hand.
Suddenly he had an idea. He opened the folder of saved text messages and found one he didn’t recognize. He opened it with shaking hands and yes, it was the message Zack had sent to Fernando. Jarno jumped up and ran to the door. If he hurried, he would, hopefully, only be a little late.
It was quarter past seven when Jarno reached his destination. The journey hadn’t been long, but he had not dared to drive any faster in the pouring rain.
The restaurant, suitably named 'Casa del sol’, was placed in a rustic house just outside of town. On its right side was a large paddock. Jarno could see some horses standing closely under a roof on the other side. On its left side was a terrace with tables and a rose garden with a fountain decorated with puttos carrying bows and quivers. He sincerely hoped it wasn’t as bad inside.
In the parking lot were some cars, but none seemed familiar, maybe Fernando was late too. Jarno went inside and looked around. The center of the room was dominated by a fireplace which gave it a cozy warmth. The candles that were strategically placed all around the room gave everything a smooth, golden glow. The tables were situated on the walls and subtly separated from each other. Jarno could hear some people talking but saw no one.
A waiter appeared at his side.> He was an elderly man with white hair and an impressive mustache. “Welcome, Signore, how may I help you?”
“I’m supposed to meet a friend of mine here, but it seems he hasn’t arrived yet.” Jarno was silently debating if it would be a good idea to just go back outside, wait for Fernando and take him somewhere else, but the prospect of standing in the rain explaining the change of location to his friend held no appeal. So he followed the waiter to a table and sat down.
“I will lead your companion to you when he arrives, Signore. Do you want to see the menu now or wait?”
“I will wait.”
“Of course.”
The waiter was gone as fast as he had appeared and Jarno was left alone. He hadn’t come up with a believable story as to why he had wanted to meet his friend here, but maybe it was best if he just went with the flow.
Jarno was nearly convinced that Fernando would not show up, when he heard the door open. He recognized the voice of the Spaniard as he answered the waiter. Jarno stood up so that his friend could see him.
What he saw at the door stole his breath. Fernando wore a pair of well-cut black trousers instead of the usual jeans, combined with a light blue shirt and a leather jacket. Jarno didn’t know what to make out of the fact that his friend had come to a dinner with him in that attire.
Fernando saw him, smiled and came over to him. He was extending his hand for greetings when he suddenly stumbled. Jarno saw briefly a naked little foot disappear under the next table, but had no time to investigate further. He caught his teammate with an arm around the waist and held him until he was sure Fernando had got his footing back. The Spaniard seemed to be a bit unsteady, holding on to his shoulder for longer than strictly necessary, but even so the moment was over too soon.
“Whoa, you better be careful. Flavio would kill me if you get hurt ’cause of me.”
Fernando grinned and sat down opposite of Jarno. “Then you better took good care of me, don’t you?” he teased. “Especially today. I’m sorry that I’m late, but the shooting took forever. That was the most chaotic group of people I’ve ever met. First they lost the camera, then after finding that there was no film. As grand finale someone soaked my clothes in orange juice. I had no time to go back to the hotel and my cell phone is happily lying in the motor home, at least I hope so. They lent me this outfit. What do you think?”
Jarno chuckled at the flood of words. Fernando was rather quiet in public, but with him he could talk as fast as an express train.
“You look great.” He had liked to use the word 'gorgeous’ but didn’t think it was appropriate. “If you wore things like that more often and you would have a girl on every finger of your hand.”
“Maybe I’m a romantic and still waiting for the one and only?” Fernando was still grinning, but his eyes were a tad more serious.
“Or maybe you have too much to do at work and with your friends so you just have no time for a girl?”
Their teasing was stopped by the waiter, who brought them the menu. After ordering their meals, Fernando took advantage of the time to take in the restaurant. He grinned at Jarno and asked, “How do I come to the honor of this invitation?”
“A friend of mine told me about this restaurant and as we have not spent much time together lately… it seemed logical to invite you. He just forgot to mention all those romantic stuff around here.” Jarno tried to form an apologetic expression.
“At least I do feel special now.” They laughed together and spent the time, until their food arrived, with amicable conversation.
They both agreed that the meal had been delicious and were sipping at coffee when a man with an armful of long red roses entered. He went from table to table and sold his roses to the occupants. He came over to their table and asked Jarno, “Do you want a rose to give to your beautiful friend?”
Fernando tried not to laugh too loud and Jarno was blushing bright red. He sincerely hoped it wasn’t too obvious in the candle light. The right thing to do would have been to tell the man the nature of their relationship and send him away, but before Jarno could do that he had answered. “Yes.”
He was too stunned of his own behavior to take it back and after rose and money were exchanged he sat there with the flower and felt stupid. He resorted in his usual way of solving awkward situations ֠humor. He grinned at Fernando and handed him the rose.
“So you can feel special for a bit longer.”
Fernando took the flower smelled it and grinned back. “Maybe I should let you choose our evening plans more often.”
They finished their coffee and left the restaurant. As Fernando had arrived in a cab they both went over to Jarno’s car. The Italian played the perfect gentleman and opened the door for his friend.
It had stopped raining and the drive to the hotel was fast and uneventful. They arrived at the hotel and parked the car in the underground garage. Still joking with each other they entered the lift.
“Maybe next time we should go dancing,” a gleam showed in Fernando’s eyes. “I would even let you lead. I have seen how good you can do circles on the track today.”
He hadn’t even finished the sentence, when Jarno started to tickle him.
“Hey, stop it! Watch my rose! I want to keep it. It might very well be the only one I’ll ever get from you.”
The door of the lift binged and Fernando turned around, not seeing the shocked look on Jarno’s face. They exited the lift and walked over to Fernando’s door. There they stood in awkward silence, neither knew what to do. Jarno was fighting the urge to give his friend a kiss good night. The Spaniard wasn’t helping the matter with standing there, carefully playing with the flower in his hands and looking at him through his lashes.
“Ok, see you tomorrow for breakfast.” Jarno just had to go or he would ruin everything.
“Oh, yeah.” Fernando took out his keycard and opened his door. He got inside and held it open for a moment. It seemed like he wanted to say something but thought better of it. “Good night, Jarno.” He smiled and closed the door.
The Italian slumped against the wall. His hands were shaking, that had been too close. That would have been the perfect evening, if only… if only he was able to tell Fernando how he felt.… if only he would love him back.
Jarno took a deep breath to calm himself and pushed away from the wall. He had only taken a few steps in the direction of his room, when the door was opened again.
“Jarno?” Fernando sounded scared and unsure. “Would you come in for a moment?”
Jarno gathered all his strength, going back and following his teammate into his room. After closing the door he stood there.
Fernando was alternately looking at him and the chair in one of the corners. “I…” He swallowed repeatedly.”I wanted… to thank you for the evening.” He played nervously with his hands. “I… Please, don’t be mad at me.”
Jarno was confused. “Why would I be mad at you?”
“Please, hear me out. I have something to tell you and maybe you won’t want to have anything to do with me afterwards, but I have to tell you.”
Jarno had a knot of fear in his stomach. Fernando seemed afraid and all he wanted to do was help his friend. He indicated with a nod his agreement and Fernando continued.
“This evening… I have wished for something like this for a long time, for real, not as a joke. I want us to be more than friends. I… like you as more than a friend.”
Fearful brown eyes looked at him and Jarno had a lump in his throat. He tried to say something, but nothing came out. Fernando looked away and nodded to himself.
“It’s ok. You don’t have to say anything, just leave me alone. I won’t bother you again, promise.”
The despair in his friend’s voice brought Jarno out of his stupor. He was next to Fernando in an instant and hugged him. They both stood there for some time, holding on to each other for dear life.
“Fernando, look at me, please.” With two fingers under his chin he turned the face up until he could look into those lovely eyes. “I wished the whole evening that this was real too.” Disbelief met his gaze. “I love you. I want to hold you and kiss you and be with you so badly it hurts sometimes.”
He entwined his finger in Fernando’s hair and caressed his temple with his thumb. “And… I want to give you a gazillion roses.” He smiled at his friend and was rewarded with a smile in return.
“But not all at the same time, I hope.”
“No, only one at a time, but for a long, long time. If you’ll let me.”
“Yes!”
Their first kiss was careful and sweet, the second was surer and demanding. Those following they stopped counting as got lost in the heat.
Just outside the window, Zack sat on top of a nearby tree and watched the two men.
“Oh, aren’t they cute?”
Zack looked over to his companion. She was similar to him in build, but she wore a little white dress and her hair was bound into two pig tails.
“It is good that they are together at least,” he answered grumpily. “But, in the past the work of a cupid was so much easier. You just found a pair of soul mates, pierced their hearts with an arrow and they did the rest all by themselves. Now you have to go and shove them into their luck.”
“Come on, Zack. I know you love happy endings as much as the rest of us and… we never had this much fun back then.”
“No, we hadn’t.” Zack was trying to hold back a smile. “Ok, you are right, they are cute. So… tell me, who is the next on our list?”
“Oh, that’s a sad one. You see the lonely guy over there, right next to the silver car? That’s him. Ephie got him his soul mate over three years ago, but he has not done anything about it.”
“So, a hard one again, huh?”
“Seems so.”
“At least he has a proper hairdo.”
The giggle of the two drifted through the night like the ringing of silver bells as they left their place in the tree and let their little, white wings carry them to their next assignment.
The End.