Work Text:
Six months into his tenure at the Truth Teller, and after six months of living in Toledo, still single, still swiping on Latch, Reddit has become a coping mechanism of sorts for Ned. Specifically, reading about others’ relationship problems and their posts asking for advice, to remind himself that he’s not missing all that much by being single. Or so he tells himself.
Ned pours himself a third drink, his brain torturing him with flashbacks of the interview earlier today, when the owner of a local record store had gotten along with Mare excruciatingly well, with Ned left trying to awkwardly move the interview forward.
To try and force that image out of his brain, Ned keeps angrily scrolling, but he’s reminded of the fact that the owner already has Mare’s number from when they’d scheduled the interview.
“Fuck!” Ned groans and buries his head underneath his pillow, but he can’t stop thinking about having to watch Mare fall in love with someone else.
He clicks ‘new post’ in r/relationshipadvice. Maybe it’ll feel nice to write it out. Maybe he won’t even post it.
I have feelings for my coworker
Ned's going to regret this when he's sober, but he keeps typing.
I started a new job a few months ago and met someone I have major feelings for. Without her sense of humor and her personality my days would be empty.
I know it's risky. But I really want to risk it. I know the consequences, but I feel like I'd never forgive myself if I don't try.
By the time he's done rambling, Ned has written far too much but given the subject matter, he could have written a novel.
Surely no one will read this. With zero proofreading, he hits ‘post.’ Ned returns to r/relationshipadvice and continues his angry scrolling. Most posts are obviously AI. And there are a lot of women who clearly deserve better than their husbands and boyfriends. He’s barely reading the words as he scrolls, his mildly intoxicated brain not of much help.
One post stands out, though.
I think I'm in love with my boss
Ned clicks on it just to feel something. To feel hopeful, maybe. That it's possible. That someone out there is on the other side of what he's going through. He has to restart three times before he forces himself to process the actual words, but once he gets there, it feels like his heart jumps into his throat.
The title pretty much says it all. He joined my office last year and we've worked closely together this whole time. We work in a large office but it's mostly the two of us together with some others working part time. I don't want to doxx myself saying any more. (Imagine if he saw this? I'd have to quit and leave the country)
Want to know something funny? The very first moment we met, he knocked my salad all over the ground but I didn't find out till later that day that he was my new boss. But even in spite of that - I just felt a connection right away.
Could this really be Mare? The description of the office and the salad story check out.
He sees the beauty in things, you know? To be honest, I was struggling a bit before I met him. I felt like I was going nowhere. I actually accepted a new job the week I met him, and I called back to withdraw my application two days later.
That also tracks. Ned keeps scrolling, his mind reeling.
He changed something in me. At first, the optimism irritated me, but it's so genuine that it's rubbing off on me. (He could rub some other things off on me, too.)
Ned might… store that mental image for later.
I look forward to things now. Our meetings and our site visits and seeing him laugh. Making him laugh. I feel like we fit so perfectly together.
The way he looks at me sometimes makes me wonder if it's mutual. He's got such pretty green eyes and incredible eyelashes and when he looks at me it feels like the world stops. Like there's nothing and no one but the two of us.
Is this really Mare talking about him? Ned has to admit, he does have pretty nice eyes and eyelashes.
I don't want to mess this up. I finally like my job and our working relationship is great, but I can't help but wonder if we could be more than that.
Anyway, I don't know what I'm even looking for by posting this but it felt nice to write it.
Ned scrolls down through the comments, all of them echoing some version of the same sentiment, that workplace relationships are a terrible idea.
[businesstaco56]: I started dating my manager and when things went south I had to quit my dream job, and I hate my new job. I regret it every day.
[randomhamster]: I now work down the hall from the man who broke my heart *and his wife* and I can’t afford to quit.
Ned types up a comment of his own and posts it before he can second guess himself.
[wolfofchicago83]: I think you should go for it.
The adrenaline rush makes Ned toss his phone across the bed, but it clatters against the headboard and lands on the pillow. Ned curses to himself and gets up to drink a glass of water, desperate to disconnect from everything that just went down.
But the buzz of his phone is too tempting, returning to his bed to open the notification and finding a reply to his comment from the author.
[dairysburger]: Wow, finally someone telling me I'm not fucking up my life. I'd almost given up hope.
Ned clicks on the username. The profile is private, so he can't verify for sure that it's Mare, but he types up a private message to possibly-Mare anyway. Worst case scenario, he convinces a stranger to take a chance on their love life.
[wolfofchicago83]: You're not fucking up your life.
[dairysburger]: I genuinely could be fucking up my life.
[wolfofchicago83]: I think you're fucking it up by not taking a chance.
[dairysburger]: Ouch
[dairysburger]: Harsh but valid
[dairysburger]: Why should I trust an internet stranger who everyone else disagrees with?
[wolfofchicago83]: I took a chance. I accepted a new job and met someone who I think is absolutely perfect. It's why I read your post and commented.
[dairysburger]: So how'd it turn out? Is it everything you wanted it to be?
[wolfofchicago83]: I haven't actually taken a chance on *her* yet. I guess I'm trying to convince myself, too.
[dairysburger]: Wow, hypocrite
[wolfofchicago83]: I'll do it tomorrow if you do it tomorrow
[dairysburger]: A pact, I like it
[dairysburger]: This is insane, by the way
[wolfofchicago83]: Gotta keep things interesting somehow, right?
The next day at work, Ned is so distracted watching Mare for any changes in behavior that he accomplishes almost nothing. Tomorrow's paper just won't be proofread by the editor-in-chief. It's fine. What's the worst that could happen?
He tries not to let that thought spiral but it's difficult because he's just drumming his fingers nervously as he sits here waiting for the day to end. The day has ended, actually. But Mare is still working. Maybe she's waiting for him to leave. And he's waiting for her to leave.
The last of the other employees have filtered out, and Ned has his computer packed up to happen to head out for the day whenever Mare leaves, so he’s sitting at his empty desk staring at her through the window and pretending to be busy whenever she glances toward him.
While Ned is craning his neck trying to see Mare's computer screen, she glances back at him and they both frantically look away, and Ned pretends to type something on his typewriter until the flush on his cheeks subsides.
When he looks back up, Mare is already standing and about to head to the elevators. Ned curses and haphazardly scoops up his bike gear and water bottle in his arms and has to return for his phone, then rushes out behind her.
She looks concerned when he barely makes it into the elevator, already breathing hard.
“Everything alright?” Mare asks.
“Uh-huh,” Ned says, panting. “Just, um. Running behind schedule.”
They exit the building together just like they do almost every day, but Mare doesn’t immediately turn toward the parking lot like usual. Ned feels frozen as neither of them makes a move to leave. Mare looks like she’s waiting for him to speak, or like she wants to say something but doesn’t quite have the words.
“Do you want ice cream?” Ned blurts out, frantically trying to stall.
“Right now?” she asks.
“Yeah. Yes. Right now,” Ned says, and tries to muster up some confidence.
Mare frowns, looking confused. “Sure? Didn't you say you were late for something?”
“I—no, I have time,” Ned sputters. “The ice cream stand at the riverwalk just opened for the summer. They have, uh—flavors.”
“They have flavors? How novel.” Mare teases, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, um, there's strawberry and—fuck!” Ned gasps as his water bottle slips out of his arms and hits the sidewalk with a loud, metallic clatter.
Ned watches helplessly as his helmet, protective gear, and phone also fall alongside it, his face burning.
“Oh my god, dude. What's wrong with you today?” Mare laughs as she steps forward to help collect his things from the sidewalk.
Ned doesn't have an answer, getting down on his knees in front of his scattered pile of belongings, scooping up his bike gloves and helmet.
But he can only watch in horror at the notification that lights up his lock screen just as Mare picks his phone up from the ground:
[dairysburger]: I think it's happening!
Mare continues staring at the screen as she stands back up, her shocked expression quickly turning to anger.
“What the fuck?” Mare says, and the quiet disappointment in her voice almost feels worse than an angry outburst. “That was you? Are you cyber stalking me? You've been manipulating me?”
She tosses his phone toward him and Ned, still kneeling, has to lunge forward to catch it, landing hard on his elbows. He grimaces and forces himself up through the pain, jogging toward where Mare is storming away while stuffing his things in his backpack.
“No! Mare, please just listen—” Ned calls out as he catches up to her.
Mare doesn't respond, shoving away the arm Ned reaches out toward her.
“I was on there too. Looking for advice.” Ned frantically scrolls through his phone, breathing hard as he pulling up his own post from last night.
She continues powerwalking toward her car, so Ned jogs alongside her and tries to angle his phone screen in her field of view. It does get her to slow down, and she stops entirely when she sees the post on Ned's screen.
I have feelings for my coworker
Ned's heart is pounding and he's still panting from the jogging as he watches Mare scroll and her scowl start to fade.
“Were you drunk?” Mare asks after she finishes reading and looks up.
“How did you know that?” Ned grimaces, though he's oddly pleased that she knows him so well.
“It just sounds like you when you're drunk. You barely proofread this.” Mare starts to smile again and continues scrolling. “Oh my god, look at these comments. They’re even more brutal than on mine!”
“Hey, come on—” Ned tries to grab his phone back but she spins out of his reach.
“‘You’re her manager? Prepare to get Me-Too-ed,’” Mare reads out loud. “Oh my god, this one—‘You seem like someone who had helicopter parents.’”
He makes another lunge but she laughs as she takes off running, and Ned finds himself laughing too, despite the exertion.
“‘Why do I feel like this guy self-identifies as a ‘tortured artist’ while simultaneously having a trust fund?’” Mare giggles and dodges another of his attempts.
“Give me that!” Ned groans.
When they have to stop at a crosswalk, Ned manages to snatch his phone back, but he's still laughing despite being doubled over and panting. The way Mare is looking at him, less devious than before with a soft smile, has him feeling even more lightheaded.
They walk the rest of the way down to the riverwalk and it feels like a missing piece slides into place, or perhaps like some jumbled, tangled pieces finally align. Mare is telling him about Oscar's review of ‘Mean Boys’ (‘Derrysburg High’s ‘Mean Boys’: Stop Trying to Make This Happen’) and updating him on the latest hate mail from her article on Mr. K (‘peaked in high school' and ‘ungrateful rat.’)
And it all feels so right—the sun starting to set and casting a warm glow across Mare's face, her full-belly laugh, the smiles he keeps catching on her lips. They each order from the ice cream stand at the park, and Mare rolls her eyes when Ned chooses vanilla, then opts for strawberry with sprinkles for herself.
When they step onto the boardwalk, Ned slides his fingers in between hers. Mare gives his hand a squeeze and she looks over, biting back a smile as a faint blush appears on her cheeks.
They continue down the path with their same banter interspersed with bites of ice cream, and with the addition of their clasped hands. Ned is barely listening, too focused on the butterflies in his stomach and his heart beating in his throat and hopefully his hand isn’t getting too sweaty—
“Well?” Mare asks, giving his arm a slight tug, snapping him back to reality.
There’s a rising panic inside him as Ned tries to remember what they’d been talking about. He bumbles out, “I, uh—what?”
“We’re at the end of the boardwalk. Do you want to turn around, or…?” Mare swings their arms together as she awaits his answer, crunching on the last bite of the tip of the ice cream cone.
“No. I don’t want to turn around,” Ned says, and her confused expression softens when he takes a step closer.
He gives Mare a chance to back away, but she starts to close the gap between them. Ned slides one hand around her waist, pulling her close. She smiles up at him expectantly, tilting her head back slightly as Ned kisses her.
Mare’s arms wrap around him and slide up his back to his shoulders as they kiss, smiling against each other’s lips with their foreheads pressed together. She tastes like strawberries and she feels so perfect in his arms with their bodies pressed up together.
Ned runs a hand up the back of her head and through her hair, and she lets out a breathy noise that Ned wants to hear over and over. He has to remind himself that they're in a public park, though, and walking away from a heated makeout session with an erection wouldn't be a good look.
When Ned reluctantly pulls away, he can't help but laugh.
“Holy shit.”
Mare giggles, too. “What?”
“I just—wow.” Ned smiles and clasps their hands together.
“I know.”
She kisses him again.
[wolfofchicago83]: How’d it go today?
[dairysburger]: Best first kiss of my life.