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Ben - 2021
They decided to go to a restaurant in Leeds. The final lockdown was starting to lift, which meant spaced out tables and a QR code to order food directly to the table. They were sharing Bens phone as they scrolled through the menu.
"The steak is good here I've had it before." Ben said, he added it to their order.
They shared a red wine, malbec, he saw on the bottle when it arrived. Their server was young, putting the bottle and glasses down in haste before bolting away from them. He poured the glasses and they clinked them.
"I know we could have gone to your mums pub, or the HOP. But I just wanted us to have a moment outside the village." Ben said, he understood why, they wanted the moment away from prying eyes. From unwanted questions about their relationship. From judgements about him moving on from Robert.
He's not married anymore. He could do whatever he wanted.
Ben was different, he was quiet and often sat with his thoughts more. He wasn't shy, but his confidence was different to Roberts. Like he wasn't putting on a mask for everyone, what you saw was what you got.
He knew Aaron, but there were moments when he didn't quite know Aaron. Like he knew why Aaron behaved how he did as a teen. He knew about his dad, he had seen his self harm scars. He knew and understood all that, about how Liv was so important to him. But it was the smaller stuff, the stuff that Robert already knew or quickly picked up on. He tried to explain it to Liv once but she said,
"No-one knows the ins and outs from the start. Thats the sort of thing that comes with time." She had said before getting a phone call from Vinny, she smiled before taking it and walking away from him. He never expected Vinny out of all people to be the reason that she smiled. But he wasn't complaining, they were an interesting pair.
But Ben was the first person he liked as more than just a one night stand. As the night went on he managed to relax, they started talking and opening up about their interests.
Then they eventually ended up back in the village. Well in the Mill to be precise, all empty. He made the first move, reaching out to Ben. Then they ended up going upstairs and he almost forgot how much fun it was being carefree about it all.
They weren't quite at the boyfriend stage, but he knew he wanted this to happen again.
Mike - Early 2022
After Ben died and Aaron left the village, he didn't exactly go on many dates. He went back to the dating apps, but he wanted to get away from the UK. He had been in London for a couple of weeks, messaging a guy called Mike.
He was nothing like Ben who was slim with fair hair. Or Robert with his blonde hair. If anything he looked a bit like Ross. Which should have been the first sign this wasn't meant to be.
But Mike offered to pay for the night, so spurred on by the free beer he left the hotel for the night.
He doesn't even know why he's axe throwing. Although its good for getting his anger out. But it doesn't make for an interesting date, not much opportunity for talking, you didn't even have to look at each other and normally grunting like this was reserved for another type of activity.
He doesn't normally want to talk too much on dates, not that this felt like a date.
The scores on the digital screen seemed to make Mike competitive. If Liv was here she would probably have said it was an ick.
"Are you a lumberjack in a previous life or something?" Mike asks him.
"Or something." He said before their round ended. It wasn't the type of date to go into his life story.
Mike went and got them a couple of pints, he debated making an exit for it. He wasn't staying in London much longer. Maybe France or Italy next.
Then Mike came back and started talking about his job. Then his house and about if he should update the colours on the wall. He started showing Aaron the colour samples he'd picked out. At this point he was just making a few grunts and nods and hoping it was satisfactory.
When Mike went to the toilet he made an escape. He snuck down an alleyway and made a left and a right before booking a taxi to his hotel.
Later that night he was in Heathrow Airport looking at the flights on the board.
Well Paris got cancelled so Rome it was.
Without looking back he booked the flight. There was nothing keeping him in the UK anymore. Liv had her own life. His mum had Paddy, it was time for him to branch out.
At least he knew where ever he was he wasn't going to run into Mike again. Hopefully.
Marco - Late 2022
Marco was thirty four. He had been eying Aaron up in a bar in Italy. With the dark brown hair and green eyes he had something going for him.
He was also really good in bed. He didn't ask too many questions at first. Which made Aaron want to open up more. So he did on a balcony overlooking the capital city.
Marco wasn't freaked out. He didn't think there was something wrong with him. He listened as Aaron talked about Ben. The first man where he felt something, who had let him open his heart.
He hadn't gone into too much about Robert. It still felt too raw even though it had been a couple of years.
Marco had taken him to a cafe below his apartment. The coffee there was magnificent, so was the food as well. It was a peaceful date, no waiters disrupting them with food and drinks. Or macho men trying to prove themselves with an axe.
"I can't believe he took you axe throwing, what a mood killer." Marco said.
"I know, apparently I look like a lumberjack or something. And I thought scrap worker was a bad enough title." Aaron said.
Marco moved in closer and wiped the chocolate from his lip.
"What's your plans with the business?" He asked. Aaron shrugged his shoulders.
"Give it to my sister. She's doing more for it than I have." Aaron said.
Then he received a call that afternoon. His grans health had been deteriorating. His mum rang earlier in the year about the cancer. She was dying, he had to be there.
Marco was understanding. Even when Aaron extended the trip for a week.
But then Liv died and it broke him. Even more so when he found out Chas cheated on Paddy. He blamed her for Livs death. Ignoring her calls when he got back to Italy.
Marco was there for him, but then after the new year Aaron was acting out. Marco dumped him by the March time and Aaron was mainly hiding away to avoid getting into bother.
Maybe it was better that he was by himself. No-one to tell him off. Or to be used as collateral.
Reece - 2024
Reece was twenty six, similar age to Belle. They were talking on one of the many dating sites and he looked fit in the pictures, and in real life. He had golden hair, not quite blonde but not brown either.
They were in a bar in Leeds, a dive that once used to be heaving on a Saturday night. Now it stood at around 50% capacity. The ceiling had a couple tiles missing and there was something that looked a bit like mould near one of them.
Reece was trying to talk but he couldn't really hear him over the music. He tried to get Aaron to join him on the dancefloor, but he wasn't leaving the bar. He didn't feel relaxed enough to dance, even if this was the most social he had been in a while.
Instead he watched Reece as he danced, he had an energy about him. Some would probably call it chaotic, or restless. Like he had to be constantly moving his body. Reece came back to him.
"I like it when you look at me. Like I'm the only one who matters." Reece said.
Later that night they went back to Reeces house. It turns out Reece also liked it when he was in control. He wasn't as restless in bed, soon enough they'd fallen asleep.
Asides from the fact that Aaron woke up at 5am. He looked over at the man, at his gold brown hair. He couldn't imagine introducing this man to the Dingles, to his mum or Paddy. They were complete opposites.
He knew it was a shit move, but he grabbed his clothes and changed before leaving. He left a note saying how they had a good night but he didn't want to weigh the man down with his baggage.
At least he was able to get an early breakfast. A quiet taxi back to the village before sleeping till the afternoon.
The one good thing about living by himself was that no-one questioned him for coming back home so late. He could sleep until the afternoon.
The worst part was the man in his dreams wasn't the man he'd slept with several hours ago. He dreamed of blonde hair, a little bit darker with age. He would point out the very miniscule grey hairs. He would hear that laugh that has been haunting him for nearly half a decade. Then they would kiss and his eyes shot open.
He felt the empty spot next to him, forever doomed to remain cold.
John - 2024
Out of all the dates he had been on in the past few years it was this one that stuck with him. They were meant to be meeting up in town, instead they met up in a layby when he helped John fix his van. Then they had sex in the van.
Then he found out that John was a Sugden. You couldn't fuckin write this shit could you. A half brother of Vic and Robert. Even when he thought he was moving on from Robert, it all comes back to the man in the end.
Typical.
But he couldn't deny that there was something there with John. There was something about him, a lone wolf who just wanted to help people. Who just wanted a family. At first he was a bit strange, but he made Aaron feel wanted and for the first time in a while he found himself thinking of a future with John.
His mum was happy that he was finally moving on. The Dingles accepted him when he introduced him as his boyfriend.
They had a date in the Woolpack out of all places. With his mum and Charity staring over constantly. He tried to ignore them from the booth in the corner.
"Be honest, did you only come here because the food was free?" He asked John who raised his hands.
"You caught me. But I heard the companys not too bad either." John said.
Aaron pretended to grimace.
"Ouch not too bad. That's a bit harsh." Aaron said.
"Let's get out of here. I know a better place we can continue our date." John said.
He drove them up to the farm, opening the barn door and putting the light on. It was a bit musty from the rain. A blanket was on the floor.
Just like old times.
"Oh a secluded place. Real romantic, definitely not creepy." He joked.
"What can I say I know how to treat my boyfriend." John said before they were kissing.
The blanket was shit at protecting them from the hay. He ended up going in the shower once they got back to his. But the bed was much better.
He wouldn't have believed that the hands that could be so gentle with him were capable of causing so much harm. That the kindness was really a cover for something else. Part of him couldn't help but blame himself, what had he been overlooking. Maybe it was better to have kept the empty spot cold.
Robert - 2026
Except the empty spot was filled with an image Aaron had been dreaming of ever since Robert left. The blonde hair he got to run his hands through. The heartbeat he got to hear when he turned over.
They didn't get back together like normal people would. Instead they did what they usually do, made a right mess of it, almost died and found their way back to one another.
In a way it was still very much them.
But unlike all the others, Aaron knew he would chose Robert. He had chosen him over his own family. He was his family.
He had been supporting Robert with running the farm. Did anyone expect the Robert who once walked round in suits, who had a wit about him with businessmen, to be donning farmer overalls. Not exactly, but he had to admit it was definitely better for Robert. After six years locked inside, to be out in the nature, not trapped inside.
As they walked past one of the barns he heard a strange noise. Robert went next to the barn before opening it. He'd brought a torch and shone it into the barn before they found the source of the noise.
One of the sheep, her stomach almost on the floor was heaving in pain.
"Shit, I thought lambing didn't start for another week. Can you grab the bag by the door and call Paddy or Vanessa." Robert said and for the first time that night they were seperated as he ran down the field. He called Paddy before he remembered he would be busy with the trail prep.
He called Vanessa and she picked up on the second call.
"Hey Aaron whats up?"
"One of the sheep has gone into labour." He got to the door, unlocked it and grabbed the bag before heading back to the barn.
"Oh, I'm on a date right now. Robert knows what to do doesn't he?" She asked.
"He asked me to call you so I'm honestly not sure." Aaron said before he reached the barn.
"Try Rhona if shes free if not text me and I'll be about an hour." She said before hanging up. He sighed as he entered.
"I am so glad I wore my overalls." Robert said as he noticed the gloop on the floor below.
He opened the bag as Robert sanitised his hands before putting the blue gloves on.
"Paddys probably prepping for the trail. Vanessas on a date. There might be one person I could try. Or two, Rhona or Moira." Aaron said.
"I don't think Moira will want to help." Robert said before he sent her a text and rang Rhona. He hadn't even gotten a reply from Rhona before Moira was calling him.
"I know my fiance has apologised for fucking up your life. I will too but one of your ewes has gone into labour." Aaron said as he put her on speaker phone.
"I'm coming up, how long has she been in labour for?" Moira said.
"We came to the barn twenty minutes ago but I think its been longer than that for her." Robert said as the ewe made more groans. Then another splash of water was by his feet before some small legs appeared.
"She's already giving birth." Aaron said as he stood back. He watched as the first lamb came out of the ewe. She turned around and licked her newborn as Robert stood back, not wanting to disrupt.
He checked the little lamb was breathing and rubbed the ewes stomach. Then he turned to Aaron before she made a noise, but nothing else happened.
"I've seen this before. It won't be an easy delivery. She won't be able to feed this one yet. Take him and make it up some milk with the powdered colostrum. Theres some in the cupboard. Keep it warm." Robert said before he grabbed the baby lamb. The mam made a sad sound but he quickly left the barn. There was a slight breeze so he took off his jacket before wrapping it round the lamb.
When he got to the house Moira was stood outside. When he let her in she got to work making the milk as he grabbed a towel and changed into the overalls. He came back and moved the lamb from his jacket on the sofa. He accepted the milk bottle and helped it to drink the milk.
"Were you two meant to be on a date tonight?" She nodded her head back at the empty beer bottle they'd had with their food.
"Just a chance to switch off from everything. Remind ourselves that we deserve to be happy. Sorry that was insensitive." He said after he realised it.
"He's not the enemy, I know that now." She said before they walked back to the barn, the lamb still in his hold.
"He did it for you. Gave up his share of the farm. Planted those IDs. Sold his soul to the devil." Moira added at the end.
"I know that. I don't know how I can ever repay him." Aaron said.
"Make sure he keeps the farm no matter what." Moira said before they were in the barn.
"She kept grunting but not moving. I remember this happened when I was a kid. My dad showed me how to do this. We shouldn't need much more intervention." Robert said as the sheep gave one last grunt and pushed. Wirh Roberts help they watched as the little lamb finally made its way out.
As gross as it all was to Aaron there was something miraculous about seeing it happen. Thankfully from a distance."You remembered well." Moira said as he turned his head to her.
"Thank you, look I'm sorry for how I went about this." Robert said.
"You've apologised more than enough. Lets get the area cleaned up and see if they will both take to the mother." Moira said. They gave the ewe time with her newborns as they cleaned the area around her.
"Even if I wasn't in prison I couldn't have kept the farm with Cains cancer. My family is my main priority." She said.
"What about the little farm they're setting up for you." She sighed.
"I'll let you in on a little secret. I've been trying to sabotage it. I made old man finnegan double back on his deal. I've cancelled orders, cancelled herds. I'll let them know but we have enough on with the family. I can help elsewhere." Moira said.
"There's always a place for you here." Robert said.
"Thank you, I might take you up on it in the future. Take care of yourselves boys." She said before heading off.
"Lets get you cleaned up." He said before they walked back to the house. Then Robert noticed the plates as soon as they got in. But before he could say anything Aaron helped him upstairs into the bathroom.
He helped him out of the overalls, putting them in the wash as Robert cleaned himself up. He took them downstairs, almost zoned out by the washing machine before he heard a clatter.
His brain ran mad with thoughts of Robert injuring himself, or having another breakdown. He ran upstairs, bumping straight into the man as he left the bathroom.
"Hey where's the fire?" Robert said as he held Aarons arm. He threw his arms around him.
"I thought you injured yourself you idiot." Aaron said before he felt a hand rubbing his head.
"I'm okay, the box up there fell." He pointed into the bathroom before laughing to himself.
"Nice to know you find me caring so amusing." Aaron said, not really taking any offense to it in all honesty.
"I love it, really." Robert said as they pulled back.
"Fancy ending the date in the bedroom." Aaron said before he started walking off.
"Don't need to tell me twice." He heard Robert coming up behind him before reaching out for his hand.
---
"Sorry the date wasn't quite what you expected." They were facing each other as they lay in bed together. His hand was on Roberts shoulder.
"I spent five years in restaurants, bars, cafes and an axe throwing place. But none of those dates quite fit. Not just because of the place but because they weren't with you." Aaron said.
"What about with ewe." Robert said as he tried to hide his laugh. This really was the man he loved, who cracked corny farm jokes. But it had been so long since he heard Robert laugh, it was a sound he wanted to remember forever. Seeing how light it made him from it all.
"That was awful." Aaron said but he couldn't hide the smile, nor did he want to.
"You know I love you." Robert said.
"I know. I love you too. Even with the terrible farm jokes."
"Well you're dating a farmer. Bet that's not what you expected."
"Marrying a farmer actually. I think it suits you, plus you look fit in those overalls." Aaron said.
Sometimes he was surprised by how much muscle Robert had. Especially his thighs, sometimes he would just dream about them. Just like now as he felt a tap on his shoulder.
"Earth to Aaron, you okay?" Robert asked concerned.
"Hmmm yeah, just thinking about you." Aaron said as he kissed him, then Robert pulled him on top and it was like Christmas and his birthday all rolled into one. His hands drifted to his thighs before gripping them.
"Ahhh so that's what you're thinking about." Robert grinned.
"Hey I think about the rest of you. Each and every bit." He moved his hands up his sides, then his arms and down his legs.
"But mainly my thighs." Robert said.
"Especially your thighs." Aaron said before moving himself back up so he was level with him.
"I would find myself missing random bits. Like when I used to rest my head on your shoulder. Or run my hands down your chest. Or feel your hands on me." Robert said as his hand moved to his shoulder. He gave the man a look before pressing his lips to Roberts.
This time he got to dream about the guy that he slept with. How they would wake up, legs tangled together under the duvet. He would point out the grey hairs, often when he ran his hand through the blonde hair. Whenever they kissed, in and out of his dreams he didn't have to worry about losing the image of Robert. Because the reality of him was much better.
They got to go on dates from the cinema to a picnic on the fields. Sometimes a restaurant where they'd argue over the bill. Or have breakfast in the cafe.
Robert did tease the idea of axe throwing, googling it in sight of Aaron. But he entertained the idea and bought them the date night package.
Hey, if it meant he got to watch the way Roberts biceps would tense as he threw the axe. He would've stayed there all night.
Even if Robert was shit at throwing them. He didn't care about the score because he would look over at Aaron, in a way that reminded him how much he wanted him.
He was grateful that it was Robert he ended up with. Who he got to take on dates. Wake up with. Fall asleep with and all of the other little bits in between.