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Socked feet padded a consistent path around the cramped room; circling the small fold-out study table with pieces of a Gunpla kit neatly organized on a cutting mat, avoiding the patch of creaky floorboards near her bookshelf, skirting the worn Kuromi plush that Aeri had won from a claw machine in the sixth grade and hadn’t bothered to pick up from where it’d tumbled from the bed.
Another breathy laugh fluttered from her lips. Twirling the headphone cord around her index finger, she hummed, agreeing with Yizhuo’s confused ranting over the line.
“So, it’s his mom…” Yizhuo trailed.
“Yep.”
“Wait, but what about Unit-02?”
“Uh, yeah, same thing.”
“What? But didn’t Shinji’s mom get absorbed or some shit? I’m pretty damn sure that didn’t happen to Asuka’s mom. How’s that even work?”
“Uh, well, they probably just transferred her consciousness over, y’know, like the whole Magi thing.”
“Well, what about Rei then? She’s literally Shinji’s mom, the fuck’s that about?”
Aeri laughed at her girlfriend’s heated tone. Another loop around her room finished— she skirted around the plushie again. She thought about Yizhuo’s little frustrated expression, the roll of her eyes, the exasperated huff of breath from pretty, pouty lips, shiny with lip gloss as always, this time the unflavored, untinted kind she’d put on before bed.
Aeri hadn’t checked the clock in some time, not since their call started earlier that night, around eleven or so, ten in Harbin— an hour difference from Tokyo. It was easy enough to memorize, but Aeri still had both time zones displayed on her phone.
“Well, we don’t really know. But there’re theories that Unit-00 is the first clone’s soul. So, y’know, it’s like, that’s why it goes kinda nuts sometimes.”
“What? Then who the hell is Rei right now? Are you fucking with me?”
Aeri could hear a rustle of fabric. Maybe sheets. She imagined Yizhuo in her room, shifting around in her bed, agitatedly, because she couldn’t sit still to save her life. She wondered what Yizhuo’s childhood room looked like back in Harbin. Yizhuo had sent photos— lots of photos— over break, but Aeri had only seen her house in bits and pieces. The pattern of her comforter— light purple, butterflies— beanbag in the corner of her room with clothes piled atop it, the sunset mood lighting that’d vary from vibrant purples, to oranges, to reds.
She wondered if Yizhuo was doing the same thing as her, pacing around, not really quite able to burn off the giddiness that she got from a simple phone call.
Aeri laughed gleefully. “No,” she managed between breaths, “it really is just that confusing. I swear.”
“Well, does the movie clear any of this up? Maybe we should watch that next,” she grumbled.
“Uh, no, it doesn’t really explain much. Actually, it’s best if we skip the movie, it’s not that good anyway.” Aeri cleared her throat.
Maybe she’d lend Yizhuo the manga, but honestly it’d probably just confuse her more. She’d spare her from that.
“Ugh, my brain hurts.” Yizhuo sighed over the line, digging a trench of momentary silence. “Anyway, what’re you wearing?”
Aeri sputtered. “What?”
Unfazed, Yizhuo repeated herself, “What’re you wearing?”
“What do you mean?”
“Can you hear me?” The volume of Yizhuo’s voice lowered near the end of her question. Aeri imagined her pulling her phone away from her face to check if she’d accidentally hit mute or something.
“I… yes.”
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in years,” Yizhuo whined. “You get all my pretty pictures.”
Aeri rubbed at her neck. “Sorry, I can try to send more.”
“I’m completely fine helping you build your spank bank, but I do miss your face.”
Fire roared beneath Aeri’s cheeks. “I… don’t have one of those, but thanks.”
“Yeah? You don’t keep my photos in a little locked folder and look at them longingly? And horny-ly?”
“I don’t think that’s a word. But… I mean, of course I look. Y-you know I look.”
“You like it?” The words were low, teasing.
Her girlfriend had kept her promise and sent a drove of photos, then videos, as soon as Aeri landed in Tokyo, because Aeri didn’t want to accidentally open up anything NSFW while she was staying with Minjeong’s family. That would’ve resulted in Aeri having to change her identity and move countries.
(Minjeong would never allow it. She’d force Aeri to live in the embarrassment for as long as she could.)
But Yizhuo was polite about it, if politeness could even be designated to an activity like sending provocative photos. At first, they were teasing, and Aeri thought it was horribly dangerous that Yizhuo could still manage to flirt as hard as she could without saying a word, all in a single photo. Photos that had Yizhuo in tight camisoles, low enough to tease the cups of her favorite push up bras; or shots of her body in the mirror, showing off the way a dress would cling tight to her frame, and Aeri would wonder if she was imagining it, or if Yizhuo was deliberately taunting her, alluding to the fact that Aeri knew full well what was under the fabric, like a secret they both shared, and that she wanted Aeri to think about it again.
Then the videos came.
Aeri had been browsing the aisles of Don Quijote, looking for more organization boxes for her Gunpla, as per usual, maybe she’d pick up another pack of sandpaper, she’d been thinking about repainting another model— when the first video came through.
It was ten in the morning at the time, nine in Harbin, Aeri had checked the clock, so she hadn’t expected to click on a message from Yizhuo and be met with a preview of her girlfriend kneeling in front of her floor-length mirror in nothing but her bra and underwear. After nearly dropping her phone while fumbling for the power switch, Aeri pressed it tight to her chest, sternum barely concealing the heavy thrum of her heart that was more than apparent from the flushed red of her face.
After she regained her breath and deliberated over whether she really was desperate enough to do so, she’d booked it to the bathroom, untangling her headphones in the process, and shuffled awkwardly past an older woman on her way out, to lock herself into a stall.
She watched the full thing, head pressed against the tiled wall, screen inches away from her face as Yizhuo’s breathy voice slipped from behind the phone partially covering her features and told Aeri how much she missed her, how much she thought about her. Maybe Aeri watched it a few more times (three), maybe she memorized the path her hands traced on her body, memorized the way her thighs pressed together as if she couldn’t take the teasing much more than Aeri, before she managed to pry herself away from where she’d been plastered to the wall with sweat.
Yizhuo was nothing but generous though, usually sending a video a day, which always left Aeri a useless puddle.
More than a couple of nights had come and gone where Aeri had to frantically bite into the palm of her hand to muffle embarrassing whimpers and moans brought on by the clips— her girlfriend’s filthy words echoing in her ears, and body stained into the backs of her eyelids like an afterimage.
It burned her up from the inside out to think that Yizhuo would probably love to know that. Aeri would’ve liked to have told her, but she didn’t really know how. All she could do most of the time was uselessly send heart emojis and awkward compliments back. Even that was enough to leave Aeri lightheaded, heart pumping away in her chest.
(Though, she was pretty sure Yizhuo knew. Her girlfriend would always ask how she liked her newest video, all cheeky and playful, like usual, and Aeri would always say that it was good, she liked it, and Yizhuo would giggle in that particular way that made Aeri feel like she was see-through.)
“I love it,” Aeri admitted.
Yizhuo hummed, satisfied.
“So… you gonna tell me what you’re wearing?”
“Uh… just pajamas.”
“Ooh, what’re we talking, matching set? Cotton? Silk?”
“An old Trigun shirt. And shorts.”
“Trigun?”
“You don’t know Trigun? It’s an anime.”
“Okay, okay, I know, I’m uncultured. Wanna guess what I’m wearing?”
Yizhuo’s plethora of pretty lingerie suddenly popped into Aeri’s mind, like war flashbacks.
“Uh… socks?”
“Are you imagining me in just socks? Uchinaga Aeri…” Yizhuo drawled.
Aeri stuttered. “No, I mean, socks and other stuff. A shirt?”
Yizhuo barked out a laugh. “I don’t sleep with socks on, psycho. I’m wearing your shirt, y’know, that soft plaid one. The grey one. And…” She trailed off. Aeri could practically hear the smile on her lips, sharp, like she’d plucked up prey between manicured fingernails. “...nothing underneath.”
“Oh. That’s… comfy.”
“You like that?”
Aeri rubbed at her neck.
Her girlfriend laughed over the line. “Did I kill you? Sorry, I was joking. I’m fully clothed. That can change if you want, though,” she cheekily added.
“Noted.”
“Where are you?”
“In my room. Uh. Walking. Around my room.”
“You’re so cute,” Yizhuo breathed into the phone. “I’m in bed.”
“Okay. What… what’re you doing?”
“Nothing yet. Do you want me to do something?”
“I…” Aeri silently fumbled for words. “Wh-what do you want to do?”
Stood still in the middle of her room, Aeri waited apprehensively, breath shallow as she listened intently over the line for a hint of anything. She couldn’t hear much else than an occasional rustle, and she wondered how something like imagining Yizhuo underneath her bedsheets was enough to make her adrenaline pump.
Yizhuo hummed thoughtfully. “You sure you wanna ask me that?” She giggled.
“Y-yeah. Definitely.”
“Mm. I just wanna hear your voice right now.”
“Okay.”
“I miss sleeping with you, y’know. Having you beside me.”
Aeri felt her heart race at the simple words.
“Me too. I miss… holding you. Or, other way around. Or both, I mean.” She rambled. Usually, if they slept together, they'd start the night with Aeri holding Yizhuo and wake up with Yizhuo possessively wrapped around Aeri. "You get pretty warm when you sleep though," Aeri noted.
"You still don't let go of me."
"You never let me."
"Of course not," Yizhuo scoffed. "What would you do if I was there with you?"
Aeri looked to her bed, a small twin, shoved up against the far wall, right under her window. She swallowed, picturing Yizhuo underneath blue sheets, fabric fisted in her hand, just lifted enough to cover a bare chest and long dark tousled hair that invited Aeri closer.
"Um." Aeri chuckled nervously. "I-I don't know."
"Okay, how about... what else do you miss about me?"
"Everything."
Yizhuo laughed. "As cute as that is, I mean... more specific."
"Uhm." Aeri sat on her bed, sinking into the mattress. She still felt the heat of an imaginary Yizhuo's gaze behind her. "I miss... kissing you," she practically whispered into the mic.
"Yeah? Tell me how you'd kiss me."
"H-how would you want it?"
Yizhuo laughed again. A pause hovered through the line. Aeri imagined Yizhuo biting her lip in thought, before saying, sincerely, "Is this too weird?"
"No! No, I just, I don't know what I'm doing. But I..." Aeri twisted the headphone cord between her fingers, "I wanna try with you."
"Okay." Yizhuo hummed. "Then... get in bed."
Brain momentarily stalled, Aeri wondered if this was real. Phone sex. Probably. Of course Yizhuo would be into it. Aeri was into it too, apparently. She wasn't sure. But she got under the covers anyway.
"Okay."
"Mm, good. Close your eyes."
Aeri listened. "Okay."
"Can you feel me? Next to you?" She murmured, and Aeri could swear she could feel the warmth of her breath brush against her cheek, the sound of hair shifting against her pillowcase next to her.
Sheets twisted in her grip, she hummed a quiet, broken, “Yeah.”
“I think I’m wearing too much. You gonna help me with that?” She rasped. Aeri could almost see the teasing hand toying with the collar of Aeri’s flannel, dark eyes peering up at her with a challenge behind them.
“I— yeah. Wanna…”
More rustling over the line. Aeri imagined the flannel sliding down smooth shoulders, revealing a pretty lace bra, maybe, like the kind in Yizhuo’s photos. Maybe she wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Aeri pressed her thighs together.
In her fantasies, she was brave enough to trail her lips along the length of her neck, down the slope of her shoulders. If Aeri tried hard enough, she could almost smell Yizhuo’s favorite cologne: clean, warm, woodsy. She’d passed a perfume store the other day, stopping when she saw a bottle of it on display and nearly failed at fighting back the embarrassing thought of buying one for herself because she missed the scent so much.
Instead, she sent a photo of it to Yizhuo, who jokingly replied, “clingy”, only to send her a photo of a bunny from the petting zoo she went to with her grandma the next day, along with a message, “it’s u”.
“Fuck, I miss your hands on me.” A soft moan rolled through the line.
Aeri attempted to not choke on her own tongue.
“What… what’re you doing now?”
“Thinking about you running your hands over my body, grabbing my waist… thighs,” the last word rattled out on a shaky breath. “Fuck, would you watch me again? Watch me touch myself while I think about you?”
Aeri whimpered, a helpless sound that couldn’t be contained by lips trapped between teeth.
“Please…”
Yizhuo swore under her breath, Aeri wondered when her breathing had gotten so heavy— it felt like it surrounded her, cocooned her, thrillingly overwhelming.
“You want it that bad? Wanna see me needy for you again? Want me to— shit— f-fall apart under you again, you want that?” Yizhuo rambled.
“I do. I want it. I want… you,” Aeri clumsily blurted out. “Can’t stop thinking about it, the last time…”
“Last time?” Yizhuo encouraged.
“Just…” The heat that blanketed her skin made her restlessly shift beneath her sheets and run a hand through her bangs, away from dewy skin.
Apprehensively, Aeri trailed fingers beneath her shirt, up and down her stomach, stopping at the elastic band of her pajama pants. She bit her lip.
"You. I don't know. How you..." She pushed past the apprehension, summoned whatever strength she could in her voice, to project something past the shyness. "How you felt under my hands. Your voice, how— I just like hearing you like that. Like, you... really wanted it. Me. Wanted me. I liked it. A lot. I like... like, knowing that you..." Her voice dropped to a hush, a self-conscious flush taking over, "…you feel that way about me, I guess. I-I like that."
"You liked watching me?"
Aeri hummed an affirmative.
"You wanna see me come again?"
"I do." Aeri's breath came shaky.
A sigh, thin and airy, came over the line, a hushed fuck just surfacing past the white noise.
Ideas— images of ideas— flit in Aeri's mind, made her hand trace the front of her underwear, stopping just before her clit. Her thighs pressed together again.
"Are you touching yourself?"
Aeri whimpered. "Y-yeah. I am."
"Jesus christ, you're so fucking hot. You make me so wet, god."
She imagined Yizhuo's hand down the front of her shorts. Or maybe she'd been desperate enough to kick them down her legs, maybe the fabric bunched around one of her ankles because she didn't even think to properly pull them off, too caught up in touching herself.
Aeri thought about how wet she was when she used the vibrator on her. How Yizhuo had thrown her head back, mouth ajar, body taut— how she’d said Aeri’s name, the particular stretch of syllables burned into the older woman’s eardrums. How it was for her.
Before the nerves could paralyze her again, she slipped her hand beneath her waistband, shuddering at the slick that met her.
"You feel so good," Yizhuo rasped. Her voice was so rough, grated down by unabashed arousal. Arousal for Aeri. The older woman's lungs felt constricted by the simple fact. Aeri wondered if she imagined the “you”. Maybe Yizhuo had been thinking about her the same way. Maybe she thought about Aeri on top of her, like she'd mentioned, back when they were in Yizhuo's bed before break.
She imagined her girlfriend’s soft skin under her lips. She imagined trailing down the curve of her neck, to the sharp lines of her collarbones, down her sternum, across soft breasts— Aeri bit her lip, an unbidden sigh leaving her when she swiped her clit a little too harshly.
She thought about trailing down Yizhuo's lean stomach, down—
It was a fantasy she'd had lately. It'd come to her when she stared at Yizhuo's photos, when all she could see were pale thighs that she knew were soft and plush under her hands— when all she could see was pretty lace underwear, and all she could think about was how the fabric would feel against her cheek, her lips, how wet Yizhuo could be underneath.
Maybe she'd sound like this— unable to hold down sharp gasps and broken moans— when Aeri finally tasted her. Her back would arch away from the bed; maybe she’d push Aeri’s head down, wrap her fingers in her hair.
"F-fuck, I'm gonna come, Aeri, fuck—”
Aeri couldn't even get the words out, a reciprocation of Yizhuo's, before it'd hit her. Pillowcase clenched between her teeth, Aeri buried errant cries into the fabric. Her muscles jerked, like pleasure was the wires that pupeteered her, having every whim with her defenseless body. Slippery fingers pressed down on her clit, sending shivers through her following each elongated throb of pleasure.
A chorus of heavy panting interweaved over the phone line.
Aeri licked her lips, suddenly aware of how chapped they were, deeper pink than usual from the insistent gnawing of teeth. Disbelieving eyes stared up at the ceiling while she attempted to catch her breath. It was almost embarrassing, the wetness that’d coated her fingers and the insides of her thighs, the sweat that pooled under her lower back.
"Did you come too?"
Aeri flushed.
"You don't have to lie if you didn't, it's okay."
"I did." Aeri managed to squeak.
The line was quiet, then, a heavy breath rushed through.
"Jesus... how much is a plane ticket to Tokyo?"
Aeri laughed, feeling a comfortable warmth settle in her chest.
"Stay on the phone?" Yizhuo asked, voice slurred with exhaustion.
"Of course."
They'd gotten into the habit of this— Yizhuo keeping her on the phone late into the night, even when they had nothing to say. They'd stay on the line because there was something weirdly comforting about the call time that ticked up by the second aided by the quiet humming of Yizhuo doing her nails on the other side, or Aeri flipping through manga.
"Wait, can you turn on your camera now?"
Aeri obeyed, only feeling a little bashful about the burst of giddiness that fluttered in her chest at the sight of her girlfriend peering at her phone past the pile of pillows she'd burrowed into.
"Why didn't you ask me to turn it on during, uh..." Aeri still managed to blush even after their mutual orgasms.
Yizhuo yawned and sent her a lazy smile back. She arched her brow. "Would you really have been able to stay on the line with me staring you down?"
Aeri stayed silent while her face drowned in heat. Yizhuo cackled.
"Thought so. Also, I don't need to see you to get off, your voice is hot enough."
"Thanks?"
"I mean it romantically!"
Aeri had made a habit of waiting for Yizhuo's breath to even out into familiar soft exhales in her ears. Rolling to press her warm cheek into the pillow, Aeri sighed as she stared at her sleeping girlfriend.
A whisper of Japanese curled from her lips— a secret she wanted Yizhuo to hear.
"I love you so much."
—
Squinting down at the toothpick pinched between her fingers, she hummed, satisfied with the lack of wet batter. Aeri pulled the batch of cupcakes out of the oven and replaced them with another full pan, punching in the memorized bake time into the timer on the microwave with a series of melodic beeps.
A sorority member rushed into the kitchen to snatch up a tray of cooled cupcakes from the counter to bring to the boisterous crowd around the dining table, just outside of the kitchen, who were in charge of decorating all of the baked goods.
Yizhuo’s sorority house was a sizeable two story that roomed twenty six, designed with the kind of clean minimalism found in magazines— quartz countertops in the kitchen, a large wood table in the dining room that was almost ornate, a couch nicer than Aeri’s dorm room bed parked over a plush carpet that was also nicer than Aeri’s bed, and wood flooring throughout. It was intimidating, to say the least, especially considering that most members would have to be well off to afford it— though, for Yizhuo, she had a nearly full ride in scholarships. Plus, being an only child immediately made her her grandma’s favorite, which helped with finances, Yizhuo had cheekily explained to her.
"God, I really need to get my driver's license," Minjeong groaned.
Aeri watched the metal mixing bowl spin and wobble around as Minjeong clumsily stirred with her left hand, right hand treated as if it were completely unusable and not just encased in a brace, hanging awkwardly by her side.
The older woman folded a kitchen towel and shoved it under the bowl without saying a word. The wobbling stopped. Minjeong's ranting went on.
"Jungwoo wouldn't stop making fun of me when I had to ask him for rides to the store. Asshole," she scoffed.
Jungwoo was also the reason why Minjeong sported a wrist brace. Aeri had learned, long ago, that when the siblings were around each other, they were practically reduced to toddlers, childishly competing at anything there was to compete in and endlessly at odds.
The wrist brace incident happened while Aeri was visiting, the first few days of their break. They'd gone out to help run errands for Minjeong's mom when Jungwoo had spotted a punching game machine. Aeri already knew what would happen as soon as he caught Minjeong's eye with that particular competitive edge that had Aeri already protesting, not before Minjeong and Jungwoo were scrambling inside, insults spouting off that left Aeri's ears reddened and apologies spilling from her mouth towards passerbys.
Jungwoo went first, a whopping 857, which, obviously, Minjeong had to beat. Though, of course, Minjeong had the build of a limp noodle and, besides the slap fights she'd been in with her brother, which usually ended up with Jungwoo holding Minjeong at arms length, hand to her forehead, the girl's fists wildly swinging at air— she’d never actually punched anything or anyone before, meaning, she didn't know how to punch.
The aftermath found them at the emergency room with Aeri patting her back and telling Minjeong to look on the bright side, she always did want to learn how to do things left handed, and Minjeong groaning into her good hand, asking Aeri to help her come up with a cool cover story to tell Jimin and not the absolutely embarrassing truth about how she sprained her wrist.
"Dude, I've been trying to get you to let me teach you."
"What if I run into a pole or something!?"
"We'll go to an empty parking lot, that's how I learned."
"There're poles in parking lots."
Aeri stared at Minjeong. "You're hopeless."
Her best friend sighed, defeated. "Maybe I'll make Jimin learn how to drive."
The kitchen doors slammed open with the force of a tornado ripping through a small town.
"I'm back! I'm back! Holy shit, sorry, Soomin and Yeonji did a number on the decorations, so yours truly was part of damage control. Chae’s about to kill me, we're so behind schedule," Yizhuo rambled, running an exasperated hand through her long black hair. She dumped several plastic bags on the counter— they spilled over with red and white decor, all plasticky and shiny, the kind of stuff that littered kids birthday parties. "I didn't mean to leave you guys alone—” She turned to the counters, clocking the piles of stacked baked goods. "You got this much done?"
The sorority had already gotten a good amount baked the night before, but with their overlapping schedules and, according to Yizhuo, horrible organization and less than stellar communication, what was supposed to have been done the previous day, was only just being finished now, a few hours before the bake sale was set to happen.
"Oh yeah, well, we're just doing the baking stuff, the girls in the dining room are decorating, we thought it'd just work better if we split it off like that—”
Her girlfriend slammed into her side and squeezed her with strength that demanded she take the affection. Pulling away, Yizhuo stared up at her, dead serious, “I’m gonna marry you.”
Aeri uselessly stared back for a few moments.
"Well, I have a girlfriend, so we'll have to figure out another form of payment for me," Minjeong butt in.
Yizhuo grinned at the other woman, "Thanks, unnie. I don't know why you're here, but you're literally saving my ass."
"Nothing better to do," Minjeong shrugged. Which was marginally nicer than Minjeong's explanation to Aeri, being that, after so many years of being friends, Minjeong was surprised that Aeri didn't realize that she (apart from Jimin, who didn’t count because she was her girlfriend) was Minjeong's social life, which meant, unfortunately, she was stuck baking for a sorority she couldn't care less about to hang out, because she was a good bro. Also she had made the assumption that she’d get to eat cupcakes for free.
"Nien!" Aeri could hear Chaewon yell out from the front of the house, several expletives trailed after.
Aeri had met Chaewon a few times. It was always awkward and in passing, usually when Aeri picked Yizhuo up or followed her out of or into her room. Chaewon had a “no nonsense” air about her— straight shouldered and eyes that saw right through a person— every quality that made people understand to move out of the way, lest they get trampled.
Wide-eyed, Xinyu beelined her way into the kitchen, clumsily pulling an apron from a hook on the pantry door and throwing it on. The apron was designed to look like the naked torso of a muscular man.
“Remind me to strangle Sohyun when she gets back from her trip. She’s my goddamn excuse to get out of these events. Now Chaewon’s gonna fucking kill me because I didn’t mix the right shade of red for the frosting,” Xinyu hissed from across the counter. She’d grabbed a spatula, seemingly to look busy, but only waved it around agitatedly. “So, now I’m being very helpful and baking with you guys. Cool? Cool. I was never in the dining room.”
Disposition suddenly severe, Yizhuo spoke, hands on her hips, “You know, we still have time to make a break for it.”
Xinyu looked across the kitchen, then back to Yizhuo. “Window?”
The younger woman nodded. “Window.”
“Ning!” Chaewon poked her head into the kitchen, looking less than calm.
“Shit,” Yizhuo hissed. Both her and Xinyu’s shoulders shot up to chin height, tensed.
Chaewon’s bobbed hair, usually pristine, was only slightly mussed, like she'd run her hand through it, which meant, by her standards, it was messy. "Come down to the campus with me, we gotta move some tables and chairs for our booth."
"What? I don't move things, I'm dainty," Yizhuo defended with a pout. Restlessly, and seemingly unconsciously, she habitually toyed with her necklace— Aeri caught the gleam of silver between her fingers, butterfly wings peeked out.
"Well, you move things now," Chaewon huffed, gaze fiery enough to char the entirety of the kitchen crew.
"Uh, I-I can help," Aeri offered.
"I'm disabled," Minjeong commented, holding up her sprained wrist, "also, I don't go here."
Chaewon looked at Minjeong, bewildered, as if she hadn't even noticed the entire stranger taking up space in the kitchen. Then, turning her gaze to Aeri, she commanded, "Alright, come with me, we gotta get this shit done like, yesterday."
Minjeong shot Aeri a desperate look that pleaded for her to not leave her in a house full of people she didn’t know, as if it weren't her idea to follow Aeri there in the first place.
The older woman grabbed one of the many grocery bags that Yizhuo threw on the counter and handed it to her best friend.
"You can help Ning bring the decorations," Aeri assured, barely holding a laugh at the puppy eyes Minjeong shot her before nodding and following along.
With the help of a few of the other sorority girls, they quickly set up their booth under the critical eye of one Kim Chaewon who only snapped and had Aeri afraid for her life a few times.
More than once, Aeri had caught Yizhuo staring at her. At first, Aeri was pretty sure Yizhuo was doing her blank, thousand yard stare thing, when she'd have something on her mind and would snap out of it with an odd comment like, "Do your teeth ever feel weird in your mouth?" But Yizhuo had definitely been looking at her, watching her in between decorating their booth with streamers and balloons alongside Minjeong. More than a few times, Aeri wondered if maybe she looked a bit ridiculous next to Nien, who definitely worked out more than Aeri did, who only went to the gym when Jimin managed to get her to go.
Standing back to look at their handy work, Yizhuo clapped her hands together with finality.
"I owe you guys," Yizhuo sighed, "Lunch?"
Minjeong looked more excited than she had in the few hours prior.
"Ning!" Chaewon yelled, "You're first shift!"
Yizhuo rolled her eyes. "After first shift."
Lunch was happily enjoyed by Minjeong, who was more than eager to tag along, though, the moment Aeri dropped her off at her place, Yizhuo had instructed her to drive around until they found a near-empty parking lot. It took the older woman a little too long to figure out what Yizhuo had in mind— approximately a few seconds after Yizhuo tugged her into the back seat as soon as Aeri parked and sat in her lap, a wicked grin on her lips.
"God, you were so hot, carrying all that shit, being so helpful." Yizhuo panted out, pulling away from their lip lock. A bit dizzy, Aeri distractedly watched her tongue poke out to wet gloss covered lips. Strawberry. Aeri loved the flavor.
"I-it really wasn't that much, plus, it was just, y'know, chairs and stuff," Aeri weakly argued with an awkward laugh.
Yizhuo leaned back to look at Aeri squarely, hands on either shoulder.
"I really do appreciate you though, you didn't have to waste your weekend helping me out. Seriously."
"It wasn't a waste, I was just hanging with Minjeong." Aeri shrugged. "I like helping you too. I know it was stressful."
Yizhuo kissed her again, the kind that they lingered in, that felt like sugar melting between their lips. "You gotta stop talking like that," she whispered against her mouth, "I like you so much." She nipped at Aeri's lip. "God, Aeri."
"Wh-what?"
Her girlfriend looked at her again— Aeri didn't really know how else to decipher her expression, other than soft. It felt soft, how Yizhuo’s eyes scanned her face, like she was taking care in branding every bit of her into her memory. Aeri couldn't help but smile back at her, a bit dumbly, like all the sap of the moment had flooded the folds of her brain and left the gears sticky and slow.
A tap to her teeth— her front two— made Aeri whine and hide her face behind her hands. Yizhuo laughed wickedly.
"Don't hide them," Yizhuo pouted.
Yizhuo slung her arms over Aeri's shoulders again, somehow settling even closer to Aeri, shifting on her lap just that much. She wasn’t heavy, Aeri could pick her up pretty easily, but the weight was nice. Comfortable. It poked at a part of Aeri’s brain, maybe it was posessiveness, or pride, to have her girlfriend in her lap like this. Her thumbs swiped over the warm skin of her waist, exposed by her crop top.
Yizhuo’s grin was playful, a little scary. "It's pretty comfy back here. Why aren't we doing this more often?"
Aeri did have to admit, the seats in the back were comfier than the ones in the front. More plush. And a lot roomier than she recalled.
Yizhuo bit her lip. Her eyes flit away for a moment, as if to capture a sudden thought that sprung from her mind, then back to Aeri, eyes sparkling with danger.
"So, wanna christen your car?”
The single statement nearly sent Aeri into a spiral.
“Oh god…”
“What?” Yizhuo giggled.
She swallowed. She thought about it, tossed the idea around in her head. She liked a lot about it, the concept, and, of course, being with Yizhuo. The idea of being so desperate, they'd resort to using her car— that they couldn't make it to a room or somewhere nicer, it made Aeri’s insides knot. It made Aeri’s fingers tangle in Yizhuo’s belt loops and needily pull her closer.
But at the same time, she really didn't feel comfortable with the… publicity of it all.
"Uh, no, I don't think I'm... I don't think I'd like that."
"That's alright," Yizhuo assured her. She pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I like this anyway. Just sitting back here.” Her thumb habitually traced the piercings that littered Aeri’s right ear. Aeri found it endearing, even if it was ticklish sometimes. Lips pecked the ring on her helix. “I missed you."
"I missed you too."
Thoughts of Japan and missing Yizhuo, Aeri remembered the jewelry that'd been burning a hole in her pocket since that morning. She'd been meaning to give it to Yizhuo, but her girlfriend had been so busy as of late.
And it may have been a little awkward, but Aeri had found that Yizhuo's impulsivity had rubbed off on her a bit, so she fumbled for the rings in her cargo pants pocket, growing red at the confusion on Yizhuo's face.
"Uh, I got something for you. We haven't really been alone lately, so, I haven't really had a moment to, y'know," Aeri fumbled, presenting the rings on her palm to Yizhuo. They were identical; silver with engravings of the moon and stars etched along their sides. “I found them at this antique shop. I think you’d like it there, it was pretty cool, all the weird, y’know, knick knacks and stuff you like looking at.”
Yizhuo's eyes widened at the sight. Her hand clasped Aeri's wrist as she leaned in closer, as if she were afraid to touch them.
"Wow, you really took that marriage proposal earlier seriously, huh?"
Aeri's face went red. "Th-that's not— I swear I didn't even think about how this would look. I just thought you'd like, y'know, matching—” She sputtered.
“I love it,” Yizhuo interrupted, pulling her into a quick kiss, before excitedly sliding a ring onto her finger.
Aeri watched, dazed, and feeling a little more head over heels than usual, as Yizhuo held her hand out to watch it shine in the sun, prattling on about how cute it was, and how cute Aeri was, and how, even though she loses everything, she definitely wasn’t gonna lose this.
Even if she did lose it, Aeri would buy her however many replacements she wanted.
—
“Having fun?” Aeri teased.
“Mhm,” came Yizhuo’s hummed reply, zoned into Aeri’s Gunpla building and not the homework on her laptop she’d so staunchly committed to earlier in the evening.
She looked soft— cheek squished against her fist, hair pinned back by Hello Kitty hair clips. Aeri tried not to stare at her lips too long— shiny with that familiar untinted, unflavored lip gloss.
“Y’know, you can move back to the desk if you want. It really didn’t bother me. I was mostly tuning it out.”
Dating Yizhuo, Aeri had been slowly growing accustomed to her girlfriend’s habits, like the fact that she couldn’t sit still to save her life, which translated to things like rocking in Aeri’s wobbly desk chair and producing a squeak that she hadn’t been aware of until Aeri had pointed it out, jokingly commenting that Yizhuo had good rhythm.
It was offhand, but Yizhuo had immediately stopped and gone red, quietly moving to Aeri’s bed shortly after. And Aeri sat with the quiet guilt of it, because, maybe she was biased, but she liked it, all of it— all of the little things she’d come to associate with her girlfriend.
Like the agenda opened on the bed beside her, a rainbow of sticky notes haphazardly littered across the pages. Yizhuo’s version of organization was overstimulating. The sticky notes reiterated what had already been written on the pages beneath, to which Yizhuo had sheepishly explained, it helped her to remember if she wrote it over and over.
Repetition, like the copious amount of alarms and notifications on her calendar about things Aeri herself found inane, like brushing her teeth; or hanging up her laundry, even when she’s had to dig through her laundry basket for clothes every day. Yizhuo told her that she used to just dump all her clothes on her bed so she’d be forced to do it, but that stopped working after she started just shoving it aside to sleep. Even then, Aeri had found it more interesting than anything. She liked learning things about Yizhuo, liked having new bits of information to store away about the person she loved, no matter how unorthodox.
Aeri watched Yizhuo play with her necklace, sliding the butterfly pendant up and down the chain a few times. Aeri wondered if it replicated her thought process, like how scales would drop and rise from side to side, weighing options.
“Maybe. If I get tired of the bed.” Yizhuo shrugged.
The older woman quietly smiled. It was a very Yizhuo thing to say— the idea of getting tired of sitting in a particular place. Aeri appreciated variety every now and again, but she’d learned how far on the either side of the spectrum she was from Yizhuo. Once Aeri figured out what she liked, that was pretty much where it ended. Yizhuo, on the other hand, seemed to thrive on new. It was a little chaotic from the outside, but Aeri could understand it. Or she’d try her best.
“If you need to like… move around and stuff, that’s, like… it doesn’t annoy me or anything, Ning.” Yizhuo almost looked bewildered at the offer. “It’s just, y’know, some things help people when they’re, I don’t know,” Aeri fumbled over her words. “I mean, Minjeong sings. All the time. And hums. It just helps her think, I guess. So, I get it, if you need to, like, move around or whatever. I get it.” Feeling a bit stupid from her rambling, Aeri awkwardly turned back to her trusty plastic mech parts.
“Okay,” Yizhuo replied, quiet. “Thanks.”
Under the quiet hum of anime from her own laptop, Aeri could hear Yizhuo’s typing, how it stopped, started, stopped again. Then—
“Sometimes I wonder if I tainted you. Is that weird to say?”
Aeri laughed. “Uh…”
“Not that you’re, like, some pure little baby. Alright, maybe that was weird to say. Just, I don’t know, you like stuff like this,” she threw her hand out, gesturing to Aeri’s Gunpla kit neatly organized on her cutting mat on the floor and her laptop playing Evangelion, “—and you’re so, like, content just being calm and stuff.”
“I’m calm with you.”
Her simple words made Yizhuo quiet. Red brushed the tops of her cheeks and ears, just where they peeked out past black hair.
“And… I like doing everything with you. And you’re not the only one who wants… y’know.” Aeri cleared her throat. “I think about you too. Like that. I mean, we… over the phone that night, when I was still in Tokyo. I said some things.” Aeri shrugged.
“I remember. That was one of the best nights of my life,” Yizhuo dramatically stated.
Aeri laughed, bashful. “I… wanted to say something. While we were talking, I mean. But I didn’t really know how to…” She trailed off. Her face was red hot. She had no clue why she’d wanted to divulge any of this, only that she wanted to be transparent with Yizhuo, like Yizhuo was with her. Yizhuo made her brave. Or want to be.
Yizhuo broke the long pause. “Well, I can tell you, you probably can't outfreak me, so, lay it on me,” she joked.
The older woman rubbed the back of her neck, unable to will the words to leave her mouth.
“I promise,” Yizhuo kept going, “for any single embarassing thing you can spout off, I probably have ten more I can give you. Like, did I tell you about the time in high school when I locked myself out of the house and I was only in a towel and I had to crawl in through a window. I’m pretty sure I flashed the whole street. Anyway, my mom drove up while I was breaking back in. She wasn't really happy with me.”
A bark of laughter left Aeri. “Jesus, Ning.” They shared grins, and Aeri waded in the warmth that settled in her chest before speaking. Chin on her knees, Aeri admitted, “I’ve just been thinking a lot. About… us. And I, uh, I wanted to try something.”
Yizhuo bit her lip. Her gaze was so dark, like a black hole, its gravity too great for Aeri to resist. She could feel her heart pound in her chest.
“Yeah, what's that?”
“I…” Aeri spun the ring on her finger, the pair to Yizhuo’s. “Wanted to try going down on you?” She squeaked.
Yizhuo stared at her, lips slightly parted. "You're gonna kill me."
Aeri laughed and buried her face in her hands.
“I'm so serious, Aeri, that's literally one of the hottest things I've heard you say.” Peeking through her fingers, she groaned again at the sight of Yizhuo beaming. “You know I’m so down.”
“Yeah?”
“You have to ask?” Yizhuo quirked a brow at her. “So… wanna go for it right now?” She laughed when Aeri hid behind her hands again. “I’m kidding. A little. I mean, unless…?”
The older woman turned back to her laptop, barely acknowledging Shinji turning into goop in Unit-01.
“Maybe, uh… later?”
“Yep.”
“Cool?”
“Oh yeah. Totally cool about my girlfriend wanting to go down on me.”
“Yizhuo.”
She held her hands up in surrender. “I’ll be good and do my homework.”
—
Cringing at the way sweat glued her shirt to her lower back, Aeri gingerly pulled the fabric, fanning the cool air from the art studio over her skin.
Yizhuo turned to her with a pout, big eyes silently pleading, “Egg?”
“I think you ate them all.” Plastic crinkled in Aeri’s hands as she surveyed the remaining jellies in the bag.
Her girlfriend whined, only stopping when Aeri placed a cola bottle shaped candy between her lips. “Thanks, babe,” she grinned.
“You gonna buy me another bag?”
“Hey, you’re the one feeding me,” Yizhuo shrugged, “not my fault you can’t say no to me.”
Aeri scoffed, hiding the blush in her cheeks by shoving a jelly into her mouth.
Sitting back, she watched Yizhuo’s paint brush glide over the canvas propped upon an easel. Aeri had been at the gym— dragged to the gym by Jimin— when Yizhuo had asked her to come by the university’s art studio to keep her company while she finished her project, a still-life oil painting. It was pretty. Definitely impressive, not that Aeri knew much about art. But, even then, Aeri found herself helplessly distracted by the artist herself.
They hadn’t been able to spend time together like this as of late, always bombarded with coursework and clashing schedules. Aeri still made an effort to help Yizhuo’s erratic mind with their study dates at the library or a cafe— it always did help Yizhuo to have another person with her when she had to do things. And it eased Aeri a little to see the tense set of Yizhuo’s shoulders relax even just a finite amount, knowing how hard the semester had already been beating her down.
Even with the little time they eked out to be together, there was no time to just be and breathe and enjoy the little things, like that particular focus and determination that was clear on Yizhuo’s face when she was entrenched in her favorite subjects, like art. Or the way Yizhuo would cutely sway from side to side when looking at her canvas before deciding on adding more value to a shadow, or a highlight somewhere. Aeri took every bit of it in.
Primary colors streaked Yizhuo’s hands, the apple of her right cheek, the front of her overalls. Something about it, about her, maybe it was the little bubble they’d created in the corner of the deserted studio, maybe Aeri was a little delirious and oxygen starved from the burpees Jimin had made her do, either way, Aeri couldn’t quite fight the heavy fondness that tugged at her insides, that made her want to tuck into Yizhuo’s neck and melt into her.
“Alright,” Yizhuo sighed, “pretty sure I’m done. Whatcha think?” Those expressive, expectant eyes captured Aeri’s again.
Uselessly, Aeri swallowed, hoping to pull down the intense wave of emotion that’d threatened to sweep her under.
“I think I’m ready,” she blurted, clearly failing.
“Huh?” Yizhuo paused mid-chew. She had a habit of chewing obnoxiously, all open-mouthed and loud, the way her teeth gnashed at the candy. She said it tasted better like that. Aeri actually found it endearing. She was doomed.
(If Minjeong knew, she’d make endless jokes about Aeri being totally whipped and beyond saving.)
“Oh, uh, it’s really nice. I like it.”
“Ready for what?”
Aeri looked away, plastic crinkled beneath her fingers, feeling the shapes of the jellies beneath. “Uh, when you were over the other night and we, uh, talked about, y’know… that I wanted to try…” She looked up, just in time to see realization dawn on Yizhuo, always so transparent with her expressions to a near comical degree, though it only made Aeri’s face burn hotter. It wasn’t quite embarrassment— maybe a little from her outburst and horrible timing, but it was also anticipation, coiled tight inside of her, ready to release.
Yizhuo’s mouth opened, then closed. “Yeah. I definitely remember. Yep.”
“So. Yeah.” Aeri cleared her throat. “It really is a nice painting, though, you’re talented, Ning.”
Her girlfriend laughed, loud. “God,” she ran a hand down her face, then squished her cheeks, as if to physically pull herself together again. “You’re gonna kill me, I swear.”
“Sorry?”
Dark eyes stared Aeri down for a long moment. Yizhuo bit her lip. “Wanna go to yours?”
Aeri nodded eagerly.
Getting back to Aeri’s dorm wasn’t the flurry of heat and desperation she’d anticipated. Instead, it looked like Aeri offering Yizhuo the shower first, and jumping in right after, separately, because she could barely handle seeing Yizhuo stepping out of the steamy bathroom in nothing but a towel.
Which led to this— Aeri awkwardly shuffling to her bed, hair still damp, thrown into a sloppy bun, and bangs limp against her forehead. Looking up from her phone, Yizhuo gave her full attention over.
“I like your shirt,” Aeri joked.
Yizhuo leaned back, pushing her chest out to show off the Hooters logo emblazoned across the black tank. Pale legs were folded under her; Aeri’s heart thumped at the sight of nothing but light purple underwear that disappeared under her (Aeri’s) shirt. The shine of silver on Aeri’s nightstand caught her eye— Yizhuo’s necklace now accompanied by their matching ring— and something about the domesticity of that one little thing made anticipation thrum just a bit louder in Aeri’s eardrums.
“Yeah? Thought it’d help set the mood. You secretly into chain restaurants with boob gimmicks?”
“That’s Minjeong’s extremely mature sense of humor for you.”
“That makes sense.”
“Yeah. I don’t know why I’m friends with her.”
They shared a quiet smile.
“Tired?” Yizhuo asked.
“No.”
“Me neither. C’mere.” Yizhuo patted the bed and held a hand out, wiggling her fingers at Aeri. Naturally, as if Aeri could do anything else, she let Yizhuo guide her down. “Nervous?”
“You have to ask?”
Yizhuo giggled. “I know I’m super hot—” she slung her arms around Aeri’s shoulders, fingers played with the baby hairs on the back of her neck that her bun hadn’t captured, “—but you’ll be fine. Promise.”
Slowly, Yizhuo pulled them down onto the bed, heavy gaze bouncing between Aeri’s eyes and lips. A hand squeezed her bicep and made Aeri jump, squeaking from the unexpected feeling.
“All that muscle,” her girlfriend teased.
Aeri groaned and buried her face into the pillow.
“Seriously, I think your arms got bigger, by, like, a quarter of a centimeter maybe. You’re, like, all pumped up.”
“Shut up.”
“You gonna get buff for me?” Their legs tangled, Yizhuo’s hooked into her own to bring her close.
“Definitely not. Jimin just wants a gym buddy sometimes.”
“Aw. I think it’d be hot if you got abs or something.”
Fingers crawled under Aeri’s shirt and skirted the flat plane of her stomach. The older woman shivered.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Aeri muttered.
Short nails— short because Yizhuo got tired of ruining her manicures, but would surely give in for a new set in the next month— continued to glide over the sensitive skin.
“Are you hiding from me?” Yizhuo teased.
Aeri finally pulled away from the pillow. She wondered if she’d ever get used to the way Yizhuo looked at her; a heavy gaze that pulled Aeri down, down, into the deep end, like an anchor strapped to her foot; hair sprawled across Aeri’s pillow like the inky darkness that surrounded the moon. She didn’t want to get used to it.
Pulled closer, soft lips pressed into the dip of Aeri’s collarbone and trailed up her neck, leaving lip gloss stamped posessively across the skin. A nip at her pulse point ripped a trembling gasp from her; a part of her worried about collapsing on top of the smaller woman.
Yizhuo guided her hand to the hem of her shirt. “Wanna help me out here?”
Some of Aeri’s sanity left with Yizhuo’s shirt once it was rid of— she hadn’t been wearing a bra, which made sense, of course, still.
Suddenly singularly focused, Aeri dragged her lips down. Intense adoration had been conveyed through open mouthed kisses against the soft mounds— Aeri loved her breasts, liked how they felt in her hands, how they felt under her lips and tongue, how receptive Yizhuo was when she’d suck the hard peaks of her nipples. It was easy to get carried away and not pull back until purpling hickeys were painted across her chest.
The photos were great, but nothing could replace the feeling of Yizhuo against her, the sound of her harsh breathing, fingers tangled in her hair, tugging, telling her to keep going. Those same hands ushered her up and into a desperate kiss.
There was something addictive about that distinct tacky feeling of gloss against her lips; the way they’d stick just that bit while pulling away, or shifting— to get closer, to take a panting breath— before going back in for more.
Shamelessly, Aeri tilted Yizhuo’s head back, her tongue traced the seam of her lips, eager for entrance, and Yizhuo so willingly gave it over.
It was filthy.
So filthy.
The way Yizhuo’s tongue traced the roof of her mouth, how it’d tangle with her own. Aeri used to be more self-conscious about how sloppy she was with it, Yizhuo was her first everything, but the very transparent fact that it turned Yizhuo on quickly made it into a positive.
Aeri could feel it down to her toes— how it left her legs feeling like jelly, like if she stood, she’d collapse in the same breath. It was ridiculous how desperately aroused just kissing Yizhuo could make her feel; it was that particular coil of pressure between her thighs along with the distant thought that if she shoved her hand down her underwear, a single touch would have her unravel.
Pulling away, Aeri nearly shivered at the way spit strung between their lips; Yizhuo broke it with a swipe of her tongue.
“I need you,” Yizhuo panted. Her leg curled tighter against Aeri’s, as if they could get any closer.
“Okay,” Aeri nodded frantically.
Yizhuo stared at her lips intensely; her thumb traced her bottom lip. “Fuck, can I be on top?”
Aeri struggled for air, a little disoriented by how fast everything felt. The idea of Yizhuo, of her girlfriend, sitting on her face, was insanely hot and so far beyond her comprehension. Though that familiar discomfort of being faced with the unknown settled in her chest. Still, with Yizhuo looking up at her like that, desperation in every heave of her chest, Aeri found herself nodding, even if she felt a little outside of herself, like her brain didn’t have the chance to catch up.
“You want me to use your mouth?”
“I— that’s, yeah, I, yeah, sure.”
Clumsily, Aeri climbed off of Yizhuo and settled onto her back. Still feeling dazed, almost too slow to grasp onto the moment, she watched, heart in her throat, as Yizhuo frantically pulled her panties off and crawled up her body.
“If it’s too much, just slap my thigh, alright?” Yizhuo instructed.
Aeri mutely nodded, not able to say much of anything while her girlfriend shuffled up, knees on either side of her head.
And finally, it hit her. Aeri had no idea what to do.
There were a lot of sensations, maybe too many, definitely too many for Aeri to keep track of or make sense of. The weight of Yizhuo on her, the feeling of her against her face, the sounds, the movement— it all whipped past Aeri like cars on a racetrack.
Aeri tried— tried to shove the discomfort down, tried hard to ignore the anxiety that simmered under her skin to just be normal and figure it the fuck out and enjoy what was happening. But her heart pumped so hard that she felt like she couldn’t breathe, and her thoughts scrambled to the point of paralysis, of wanting, needing just half a second to think.
Panic lanced her like a bolt of lightning; hands shoved under Yizhuo’s thighs and pushed her away. Aeri shot up, chest heaving like she'd been held underwater.
Palm pressed against her sternum, the violent beat of her heart pulsed beneath— each thump compounded and compressed upon the utter embarrassment that burrowed inside of her.
The situation didn’t quite register until she saw Yizhuo— expression confused, eyebrows slightly furrowed vulnerably, and Aeri hadn’t been sure, but her heart still dropped when she recognized it as hurt.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, are you okay? I’m sorry,” the words frantically spilled from Aeri. She uselessly reached for Yizhuo’s hand or arm, either, to grab onto, to reassure— she let her hand fall.
“I’m good,” Yizhuo cleared her throat. She kept her arms wrapped around her knees. A shaky smile tugged at her lips, “was it that life changing?”
“S-sorry,” Aeri stuttered, swallowing past the lump in her throat. She fought to push down the emotions tangled in her chest. Tears prickled in her eyes. “I couldn’t really breathe, and I-I don’t know, sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“I’m so…” Aeri rubbed her hands down her face, “...god I’m an idiot,” she muttered to herself.
The sheets rustled beside her and arms embraced her once the distance was closed. “You’re not. It’s fine, Aeri.”
“I have no idea what I’m doing, sorry,” Aeri rambled.
“Hey,” Yizhuo gently pulled her hands away and guided her into a kiss, soft and slow. It felt as if it’d siphoned the tension from Aeri’s body, leaving her dazed. Carefully tugging Aeri's hair tie out, Yizhuo ran her hands through the strands, nails massaging her scalp. “You okay? We can stop.”
Aeri stayed quiet, not quite able to shake off the embarrassment of the situation. Soft kisses were peppered along her jaw, not heated nor demanding; they were comforting, each wrapped with a little message that reminded Aeri that Yizhuo was there, waiting patiently.
“I just wanna make you feel good, sorry.”
“You’ll make me feel good. You could literally breathe on me and I’d come.”
A watery laugh tumbled from Aeri.
“Too much?”
She shook her head. “No.” Aeri took one of Yizhuo’s hands and laced their fingers together. She leaned into Yizhuo, feeling the warmth of her bare body radiate even through her shirt. “I like how honest you are.”
“Well, good, because you know me. I can’t keep my mouth shut.”
“I like that about you.” Aeri played with their fingers. “I like you… so much. Everything about you. I shouldn’t have, y’know.” She ended with an exasperated exhale. “I didn’t mean to, like, make you feel weird or… embarrassed.” Guilt pooled in her stomach just remembering the look on Yizhuo’s face. Aeri was an idiot.
“I wasn’t embarrassed, just worried about you.”
Aeri gave her a disbelieving look.
“Okay, maybe a little embarrassed. I thought you were, like, grossed out or something, which, honestly, some people don’t like oral, so—”
“I wasn’t. I swear. It wasn’t that.” Aeri squeezed Yizhuo’s hand, hoping that her earnestness would come across. Yizhuo gave her a soft smile.
“My first time, I lied about orgasming because I was scared I was gonna pee myself. I literally ran to the bathroom, totally naked. Point being, shit happens.” Yizhuo shrugged. “Sex is weird, man.”
Even with the circumstances, Aeri felt that familiar fondness in her chest— felt it get battered around, like a ball of yarn, wrapping around every bit of her insides.
Nudging forward, Aeri slotted their lips together into a deep kiss, one she could feel down to her bones. Her hand found Yizhuo’s waist, slotted there perfectly.
“I wanna try again, if that’s— if you’re okay with that.”
Yizhuo nodded and pulled her into another kiss, eventually guiding them down again with Aeri on top.
“Can you tell me what you like?” Aeri awkwardly asked. She wasn’t completely daft. She knew what oral looked like, she’d seen porn before, but somehow it all jumbled in her mind. It felt like so much all at once and she didn’t really know how to start or where.
Probably seeing the plain worry in Aeri’s eyes, Yizhuo reassured her girlfriend, rubbing a hand up and down her back. “Don’t get too worried about the details, alright?”
Aeri’s pout in response made Yizhuo laugh.
“Start small, like kissing up my thighs, y’know? And around my clit. And I really like penetration down there, with your tongue, it feels good. Licking up to my clit, that feels good too.”
Aeri squirmed a bit at the imagery. Yizhuo’s gaze burned through her— she watched her bite her lip. Her nails lightly scratched at Aeri’s back.
“But, you know what really gets me off? If you suck my clit and, like, use your tongue too.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Yizhuo smiled at her, almost knowingly, like she could see the cogs turning and Aeri weighing out the variables that came with her girlfriend's request, because it may have sounded simple, but Aeri felt like she'd been told how to disable a bomb by an expert and given the wire cutters to try it for herself.
“Here.” Yizhuo grabbed her hand and brought it up to her lips.
Wet warmth encapsulated the tip of her middle finger. Aeri’s insides liquefied when she felt the suction around her— the way Yizhuo’s soft tongue cradled the pad of the digit, how Yizhuo’s dark doe eyes stared up at her hungrily. Then, her tongue moved, flitting against the skin. The older woman gasped, clenching around nothing and unable to stop from squirming for even a millisecond of relief. Yizhuo kept it up, sucking and using her tongue expertly, eyes half lidded like she enjoyed doing this— she kept it up long enough for Aeri’s toes to start curling, long enough for Aeri to wonder if she might’ve been able to suck her soul out like that.
With a pop, Yizhuo pulled away. “See?” She rasped. “Easy. But, I’ll like anything you do. I’ll tell you if it feels good, okay? I wanna see you messy too, so, don’t worry about being sloppy.” She pulled Aeri's bottom lip down with her thumb. “It's hot.”
Nodding dutifully, Aeri did her best to steady her nerves while she took her time kissing down Yizhuo’s body. There was no rush in the way her hands traced soft skin and curves; she wanted Yizhuo to feel the admiration, wanted to somehow convey the way love carved deep caverns inside of her. Palms tucked beneath the small of her back, Aeri propped her up to nuzzle at her stomach, leaving sloppy kisses that made Yizhuo squirm. Aeri took a moment to look up and swallowed when Yizhuo had already been staring down at her, eyes so dark, lips parted in anticipation, it made a whimper build in Aeri’s throat.
It was all she wanted— to make Yizhuo feel good, to keep her looking at her like this.
Moving down, Aeri followed Yizhuo’s instructions to a ‘t’, dropping kisses up and down soft thighs, suckling at the soft skin until Yizhuo hissed swear words. A heel pressed into Aeri’s back; electricity thrummed under her skin at the simple action. Maybe it was because of how badly Yizhuo wanted her, wanted her closer. Aeri almost felt drunk on it.
It couldn’t have been any more different than before. Overwhelm was still present, but in a good way— a way that made Aeri want to go even deeper, to see how much more enveloped they could be in this intoxicating haze of arousal and desire.
Reaching the apex of her thighs, Aeri let out a trembling breath, just seeing how wet Yizhuo had gotten. Pushing forward until her shoulders were under her thighs, she kissed her clit, so pretty, wet and swollen. The reaction was instant— hands in her hair pulled and the heel on her back pressed harder.
“Oh god—” Yizhuo groaned.
The feedback only made Aeri more eager, she wanted more reactions, more uncontrollable gasps and exclamations, more of Yizhuo needing her.
She dove in, taking care to work Yizhuo up, dragging her tongue past her clit and focusing on lapping up her addictive heat— it was more than the taste. It was the way that Yizhuo quaked beneath her every time she’d pause to teasingly suck at the sensitive flesh; the way she’d nearly jackknife off of the bed when Aeri would stretch her open with her tongue; the way Yizhuo’s chest would heave with breathless gasps and unabashed moans that Aeri couldn't help but echo herself.
Aeri greedily soaked every bit of it up. Every new response would make Aeri perk just that bit more, rampant desire fueling her to just see how far she could push this, how far it’d take for Yizhuo to fall apart under her administrations and look at her like that, like Aeri had done something worthy of praise. It made her hungry, made her feel so greedy to just take— or maybe she wanted Yizhuo to be the one to take, take everything that Aeri had to give, to use her until she was satiated.
The walls of her cunt pulsed around Aeri’s tongue, and with a groan, she pulled away to finally give into Yizhuo’s whining and insistent guidance. Wrapping her lips around her clit, Aeri sucked lightly— her own hips pressed harder against the bed, desperate to relieve the pulsing between her legs. Even just remembering Yizhuo’s mouth around her finger nearly had her panting.
Breath hitching, Yizhuo’s fingers tugged at her hair, “Fu— you’re gonna fucking kill me, Aeri,” she complained.
Focused on doing exactly what Yizhuo told her to do, she alternated between dragging her tongue up between slick folds to stroke her clit, and sucking the bud, emulating Yizhuo’s demonstration. Yizhuo’s hand pressed her head even closer; her hips stuttered from the onslaught of pleasure, practically humping Aeri’s face. It was almost painful, how much it turned Aeri on— the way her core throbbed so desperately.
Pressing her hands to Yizhuo’s hips to still her (Aeri shivered at the unexpected moan she got in return), Aeri mentally catalogued every little detail she could as her mouth worked her apart, as Yizhuo’s arousal was rubbed across her cheeks and down her jawline until she was dripping in it; like how Yizhuo seemed to prefer long, langorious strokes from her tongue over quick ones. Or how she babbled when Aeri lifted her ass up from the bed to get her tongue just a bit deeper, and that Aeri really, really loved when Yizhuo sounded like that.
Then, she felt it. Yizhuo’s clit pulsed under her tongue; Aeri glanced up to see her head thrown back, lips parted in a silent moan, before a desperate cry broke free. Moans came strained, choked out, like she’d been wrung dry, but even then it wasn’t enough, because her hips kept jerking needily against Aeri’s continued ministrations.
“C-can’t, I can’t, holy shit, you’re— holy shit,” Yizhuo rambled while pushing away Aeri’s head.
On repeat, rounds of expletives were cycled through, until, finally, Yizhuo’s body relaxed and sunk back down into the bed, boneless. Her chest still heaved when she reached down for Aeri to pull her into a deep kiss despite her inability to breathe properly.
“You taste like me,” Yizhuo rasped. Sloppy kisses against Aeri’s cheeks and chin turned into filthy licking that made Aeri’s core pulse in response.
“Can I make you feel good?” Yizhuo managed between pants and wet kisses, “You’re so good to me.”
Aeri hesitated. It was one thing to do things to Yizhuo, another for Yizhuo to do things to her. Even with her girlfriend’s slick still coating her lips, the intimacy of it being the other way around made Aeri’s face burn.
Yizhuo watched her carefully. “Wanna try something?” Hands at her waist guided Aeri over Yizhuo’s thigh. “Ride me?”
Red colored the older woman’s cheeks. She was so intensely aroused, really, she was a touch away from falling apart completely. But she felt so exposed like this.
“Want me to help?”
“I… it’s kinda hard to… when you’re looking at me…” Still, Aeri’s legs clenched around Yizhuo’s thigh at the thought. Yizhuo bit her lip and stared down at her hips for a long moment.
With a swallow, Yizhuo looked back up and hummed thoughtfully. “C’mere.”
Following the pull of Yizhuo’s hands, Aeri buried her face in Yizhuo’s neck, feeling that familiar fondness crop up again from her girlfriend’s thoughtfulness. Relief loosened her limbs from the lack of eye contact.
“Good?”
“Good,” Aeri hummed.
Feeling marginally braver, Aeri shifted to press herself against Yizhuo’s thigh, letting out a shuddery breath from the pressure. Nails dug into her hips. Next to her ear, she could hear Yizhuo’s breathing, still heavy, maybe even heavier with Aeri on top of her like this— the idea of Yizhuo being worked up over it sent shivers up her spine. Another clumsy grind down tugged at the unbearable tangle of pleasure between her legs.
It was nice, but—
Aeri quickly sat up to shuck her shorts off. Settling back down, she clumsily tripped over her words, “Wanna be closer,” she breathed against Yizhuo’s neck.
It was different through her underwear. She could feel Yizhuo’s thigh flex under her, and the way Yizhuo’s fingers twisted the waistband, the heat of her palms so close to her skin, it made Aeri struggle for breath.
“Holy shit, I can feel you through your underwear,” Yizhuo groaned. “I made you that wet?”
Aeri whined.
Practically reduced to pure need at this point, Aeri rocked forward, trembling hard from the sensation of her clit rubbing against her thigh. The first few motions were jerky, as if Aeri’s body didn’t quite know what to do with itself, paralyzed by desperation that continued to boil over.
Yizhuo cupped her ass and helped her into a steady rhythm.
“That’s it,” Yizhuo encouraged.
A pathetic whimper rose from Aeri’s throat. Each time she pressed against Yizhuo, she could feel it down to her toes, up to her fingers— her cunt clenched needily, leaving her slack jawed from the pleasure.
“You sound so good, fuck,” Yizhuo groaned. “You want it that bad?”
“N-Ning,” Aeri gasped.
“Gonna come on me? Holy shit, you’re so hot. I want you on my thigh like this every day.” Yizhuo’s breath was hot against her ear. Frantic kisses were pressed against her ear, her temple, anywhere Yizhuo could reach with Aeri buried into her neck.
Aeri pulled away from her hiding place, wanting more, wanting Yizhuo’s lips against hers again. They met in the middle, so sloppy, an uncoordinated mess of panting and impatient lips and tongues claiming each other.
She was sure she’d been dripping all over Yizhuo’s thigh. She could feel the way her underwear stuck to her, how the wet fabric rubbed against her sensitive clit every time Yizhuo would guide her into another deep grind. The rhythm grew fast; Aeri couldn’t keep up with Yizhuo’s lips, only able to whimper and pant into her mouth.
“Fuck, are you gonna come for me? Aeri, baby,” Yizhuo rasped into her ear. Aeri pressed her face into her neck again, too overwhelmed, feeling close to the edge.
“I-I think I’m— g-gonna—”
Jaw agape, Aeri’s body tensed for a long moment, legs tightening around Yizhuo’s thigh, before the snap of pleasure washed over her. Slurred swearing dribbled out in between stuttered moans. Her hips continued to grind as she rode it out.
“God. That was so hot.”
Eyes closed, Aeri focused on breathing through the minor tremors that continued to wrack her body. Fingers fluffed her bangs out.
“Was that Japanese?”
“Huh?”
“You said something while your mind was getting blown.”
Aeri scoffed. Her face felt hot. She didn’t remember, but Yizhuo was probably right. She hoped she didn’t say anything embarrassing, but, thankfully, Yizhuo didn’t know a lick of Japanese past ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’.
“You gonna deny it?”
“Ning…” Aeri groaned. “It was… good.” She admitted.
“Good enough to make you forget Korean.” Aeri burrowed further against Yizhuo’s neck. She felt her girlfriend’s laugh shake her body. “It was cute. And hot. Super hot.”
Aeri pressed a kiss against her girlfriend’s neck. “Thank you.”
“Hm? Yeah. I liked it too, so it wasn’t all selfless.”
Aeri chuckled and rolled her eyes at the predictable response. “I mean for being patient and… just… everything.”
She felt Yizhuo’s cheek nuzzle her head.
“Of course,” she replied, quiet. “So… I wasn’t kidding about having you ride me every day, if you wanna, like, make it routine or something.”
“Oh god.”
“Or maybe every other day, I’m kinda busy lately—”
Aeri slapped a hand over Yizhuo’s mouth. She couldn’t help the fond grin that tugged at her lips. Something wet prodded at her palm and Aeri pulled away with a yelp. She wiped her soiled hand against a whining Yizhuo’s cheek.
“Gross.”
“Are you second guessing why you like me now?” Yizhuo spoke through a giggle.
Aeri sighed dramatically. “All the time.”
“I”m sure. But god, I’m just too irresistible to leave, huh?”
Tucking her head against her neck again, Aeri pressed a secretive smile to her skin. “Something like that.”